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HIRED ASSASSIN LEAGUE |
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| BULLETIN #126 -- APRIL 2026 |
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| Card 1: Held in Ravenna (Attendance: 445) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane won over Stink Boy in 9 at 3:47 (Cross-Armbar) by 62.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn destroyed EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 29:52 (Superplex) by 5.
COT: Super Ghost Machine destroyed SOS: The Zombie Princess at 28:36 (Elrod Oil Check) by 5.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane decked Curt Gold in 6 at 6:59 (Back Elbow Smash) by 90.
IMT/67: The New Normal won over COT: Super Ghost Machine at 21:21 (Point Flow Passport) by 6 (non-title).
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway pinned SOS: The Zombie Queen at 41:23 (Stunner) by 5. |
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| Card 2: Held in Bridgeview (Attendance: 783) |
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VIRUS: Hammer over Stink Boy in 2 at 3:11 (Count Out).
SOS: The Zombie Knight outmuscled VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 28:46 (Stunner) by 1 (non-title).
IMT/67: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th destroyed SOS: The Zombie Princess at 22:35 (12th Booster) by 7.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane destroyed Charlie Ford in 6 at 1:52 (Back Elbow Smash) by 108.
IMT/67: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th outmuscled EDGE: 976-EVIL at 27:01 (12th Booster) by 3.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway pinned SOS: The Zombie Prince at 52:36 (Stunner) by 4. |
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| Card 3: Held in Singapore (Attendance: 602) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane won over Stink Man in 10 at 2:56 (Shoulder Breaker) by 96.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway overpowered EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 24:41 (Stunner) by 7.
VIRUS: Hammer annihilated SOS: The Zombie Princess at 29:56 (Hammered) by 2.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane beat Dr. Blank in 6 at 4:03 (Back Elbow Smash) by 96.
Great Lakes title: IMT/67: We Are In This Together outmuscled VIRUS: Hammer at 21:47 (The Cycle of Death) by 6.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway decked VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 44:35 (Stunner) by 6. |
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| Card 4: Held in Back of the Yards (Attendance: 920) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane annihilated Bob in 6 at 2:50 (Back Elbow Smash) by 87.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway defeated Dandy Davis in 6 at 2:31 (Palm Strike) by 77 (non-title).
VIRUS: Hammer bested EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 27:05 (Hammered) by 2.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane beat Tim McCormick in 6 at 3:53 (Back Elbow Smash) by 93.
IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones* and Flatten the Curve over Mike Taylor* and Fred Brown in 1 at 5:11 (Disqualification: nail file).
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway beat VIRUS: Hammer at 28:12 (Stunner) by 5. |
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| Card 5: Held in Tampa (Attendance: 793) |
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VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre destroyed Bob in 6 at 4:47 (Crescent Kick) by 85.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway decked EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 22:18 (Stunner) by 6.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson destroyed EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle at 22:01 (Stunner) by 7.
COT: Mammoth Machine pinned Tim McCormick in 6 at 6:45 (Mounted Punches) by 96.
IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones* and Flatten the Curve annihilated VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson and "Under Contract" Anderson Silva* at 27:52 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 5.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway bested VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 39:14 (Stunner) by 1. |
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| Card 6: Held in Kansas City (Attendance: 518) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane bested Wally Brick in 6 at 6:12 (Back Elbow Smash) by 83.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway defeated EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 29:10 (Stunner) by 2.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson outmuscled IMT/67: Flatten the Curve at 20:59 (Stunner) by 6.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane defeated Dandy Davis in 6 at 3:02 (Back Elbow Smash) by 81.
IMT/67: We Are In This Together, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th* over Drake, "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker*, and Steve Shields in 1 at 5:07 (Disqualification: loaded elbow pad).
Main event: IMT/67: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th tied VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway (Time Limit). |
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| Card 7: Held in Watts (Attendance: 561) |
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VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn bested Randy Whitfield in 6 at 4:34 (Headbutt) by 112.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway beat SOS: The Zombie Court Jester at 28:37 (Stunner) by 3.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane beat Peter Lawler in 6 at 5:42 (Back Elbow Smash) by 94.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane won over Outlaw Ben Slick in 6 at 4:11 (Back Elbow Smash) by 95.
IMT/67: We Are In This Together*, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th defeated COT: Shadow Machine, Jurassic Machine, and Mammoth Machine* at 8:28 (The Cycle of Death) by 15.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson bested VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway at 28:58 (Stunner) by 3. |
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| Card 8: Held in Mobile (Attendance: 661) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane annihilated The Fishy Fisherman in 8 at 4:43 (Headbutt) by 99.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway annihilated SOS: The Zombie King at 29:23 (Stunner) by 4 (non-title).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane annihilated Jimmy Roth in 6 at 7:29 (Back Elbow Smash) by 66.
COT: Mammoth Machine overpowered Outlaw Ben Slick in 6 at 2:10 (Mounted Punches) by 98.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson overpowered COT: Super Ghost Machine at 48:34 (Stunner) by 5. |
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| Card 9: Held in Manchester (Attendance: 736) |
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VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson over Drake in 1 at 8:00 (Count Out).
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway decked IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones at 29:03 (Stunner) by 2.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane bested Steve Shields in 6 at 1:07 (Back Elbow Smash) by 124.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux defeated SOS: The Zombie Prince at 29:43 (Stunner) by 2.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson overpowered COT: Mammoth Machine at 38:28 (Stunner) by 1. |
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| Card 10: Held in Denver (Attendance: 893) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane over "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker in 1 at 5:36 (Disqualification: refused to break choke).
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway annihilated COT: Super Ghost Machine at 29:22 (Stunner) by 2 (non-title).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane bested Phil Dukes in 6 at 1:32 (Back Elbow Smash) by 78.
IMT/67: The New Normal pinned SOS: The Zombie Court Jester at 21:43 (Point Flow Passport) by 7.
Main event: IMT/67: The New Normal destroyed VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 49:43 (Point Flow Passport) by 1. |
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| Card 11: Held in New Philadelphia (Attendance: 441) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane overpowered The Greater Cheese Grater at 0:48 (RV is Toast) by 100.
TV title: COT: Mammoth Machine bested VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway at 28:52 (Mammoth Thumb to the Eye) by 2.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane over Mike Taylor in 1 at 9:55 (Disqualification: used brass knuckles).
East Coast title: SOS: The Zombie Knight outmuscled VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 24:00 (Stunner) by 6.
Main event: IMT/67: The New Normal pinned SOS: The Zombie King at 22:50 (Point Flow Passport) by 8. |
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| Card 12: Held in the East End of London (Attendance: 671) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane outmuscled "Clever" Cliff Cleaver at 1:31 (RV is Toast) by 136.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway overpowered EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 27:02 (Stunner) by 3.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane annihilated Fred Brown in 6 at 2:50 (Back Elbow Smash) by 136.
COT: Mammoth Machine pinned SOS: The Zombie Knight at 27:13 (Mammoth Thumb to the Eye) by 2.
Main event: IMT/67: The New Normal annihilated IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones at 29:45 (Point Flow Passport) by 6. |
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| Card 13: Held in Venice (Attendance: 348) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane won over Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings in 8 at 2:33 (Headbutt) by 99.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway beat EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle at 27:40 (Stunner) by 4.
SOS: The Zombie Queen pinned Fred Brown in 6 at 0:37 (Palm Strike) by 134 (non-title).
SOS: The Zombie King decked VIRUS: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 28:36 (Stunner) by 1.
Main event: IMT/67: The New Normal overpowered EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 29:28 (Point Flow Passport) by 6. |
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| Card 14: Held in Fargo (Attendance: 879) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane defeated Frank's Friend Kyle in 9 at 3:17 (Cross-Armbar) by 95.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway annihilated EDGE: 976-EVIL at 28:31 (Stunner) by 3.
COT: Mammoth Machine beat Fred Brown in 6 at 2:28 (Mounted Punches) by 139.
IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones beat SOS: The Zombie Prince at 27:00 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 2.
Main event: IMT/67: The New Normal bested EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 37:42 (Point Flow Passport) by 7. |
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| Card 15: Held in Seville (Attendance: 949) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane annihilated Al the Hacksaw in 6 at 6:26 (Back Elbow Smash) by 61.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway drew IMT/67: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th (Time Limit).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane over Duffy Wolfe in 1 at 2:16 (Disqualification: refused to break choke).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay won over VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 28:58 (Pimp Slap) by 3.
Main event: IMT/67: The New Normal won over EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 29:27 (Point Flow Passport) by 10. |
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| Card 16: Held in Sioux Falls (Attendance: 604) |
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IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones decked The Science Teacher in 6 at 7:08 (Headbutt) by 67.
Central Plains title: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway annihilated SOS: The Zombie Prince at 29:11 (Stunner) by 4.
COT: Mammoth Machine over Duffy Wolfe in 1 at 18:18 (Disqualification: manager in ring).
IMT/67: Flatten the Curve outmuscled VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 29:16 (Recommended Mandatory Jab) by 3.
Main event: IMT/67: The New Normal beat EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 37:29 (Point Flow Passport) by 11. |
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| Battle Royal: Held in Pierre (Attendance: 780) |
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VIRUS: Hammer received a quick $1,000 when COT: Super Ghost Machine threw him onto the apron.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers was given an imaginary $1,100 when he got tossed between the ropes by VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane made $1,200 when he got flipped outside the ring by COT: Super Ghost Machine.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle was paid $1,300 after he got thrown out of the ring by VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson.
EDGE: 976-EVIL was awarded $1,400 after VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn threw him onto the steps.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay grabbed $1,500 when he got thrown into some chairs at ringside by EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux grabbed a quick $1,600 when he was tossed out of the ring by COT: Super Ghost Machine.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn made $1,700 after he got flipped out by COT: Super Ghost Machine.
COT: Super Ghost Machine made an imaginary $1,800 when COT: Mammoth Machine threw him out.
COT: Mammoth Machine got $1,900 in imaginary earnings when VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson flung him out.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson won the HAL battle royal and its $30,000 prize. |
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