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HIRED ASSASSIN LEAGUE |
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| BULLETIN #134 -- OCTOBER 2026 |
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| Card 1: Held in Lyons (Attendance: 492) |
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COT: Mammoth Machine over Stink Boy in 4 at 5:08 (Disqualification: manager in ring).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers destroyed IMT/67: Flatten the Curve at 19:54 (The Preppy Killer) by 6 (Guest Referee: SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly).
COT: Mammoth Machine pinned Tim McCormick in 6 at 1:41 (Headbutt) by 80.
COT: Mammoth Machine won over EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 28:15 (Mammoth Thumb to the Eye) by 1.
EDGE: 976-EVIL destroyed COT: Super Ghost Machine at 19:25 (Evil Calls) by 8.
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux outmuscled VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway at 40:20 (Cobra Clutch) by 4. |
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| Card 2: Held in Shannon (Attendance: 290) |
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VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway bested Bob in 6 at 5:20 (Cross-Armbar) by 59 (non-title).
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson destroyed EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 27:00 (Cobra Clutch) by 1.
VIRUS: Hammer destroyed Tim McCormick in 6 at 5:13 (Cross-Armbar) by 81.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay pinned EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 27:34 (Pimp Slap) by 1.
IMT/67: We Are In This Together outmuscled COT: Super Ghost Machine at 29:59 (The Cycle of Death) by 3.
Main event: VIRUS: Hammer decked EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 46:27 (Hammered) by 3. |
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| Card 3: Held in Madison (Attendance: 439) |
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COT: Mammoth Machine defeated Bob in 6 at 4:51 (Headbutt) by 63.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson outmuscled COT: Super Ghost Machine at 27:26 (Cobra Clutch) by 2.
COT: Mammoth Machine overpowered Dandy Davis in 6 at 2:18 (Headbutt) by 80.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle pinned EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 28:59 (Fly Trap) by 3.
IMT/67: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th annihilated COT: Super Ghost Machine at 28:18 (12th Booster) by 5.
Main event: EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers destroyed VIRUS: Hammer at 55:46 (The Preppy Killer) by 1. |
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| Card 4: Held in Burton (Attendance: 871) |
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COT: Mammoth Machine decked The Fishy Fisherman in 6 at 5:28 (Headbutt) by 57.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson tied COT: Mammoth Machine (Time Limit).
COT: Mammoth Machine decked Outlaw Ben Slick in 6 at 3:51 (Headbutt) by 100.
EDGE: 976-EVIL annihilated EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 16:48 (Evil Calls) by 7 (non-title).
VIRUS: Hammer won over COT: Super Ghost Machine at 29:50 (Hammered) by 4.
Main event: EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers defeated EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 48:34 (The Preppy Killer) by 7. |
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| Card 5: Held in Bahrain (Attendance: 326) |
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COT: Mammoth Machine over "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker in 1 at 6:29 (Count Out).
Southwest title: SOS: The Zombie Prince annihilated VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 16:30 (Cobra Clutch) by 6 (Guest Referee: Flex Powersnap).
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux destroyed EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 27:49 (Cobra Clutch) by 3.
IMT/67: We Are In This Together annihilated EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 29:47 (The Cycle of Death) by 2.
COT: Mammoth Machine drew EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 10:22 (No Contest).
Main event: EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers outmuscled EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 41:26 (The Preppy Killer) by 3. |
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| Card 6: Held in Baltimore (Attendance: 960) |
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COT: Mammoth Machine beat Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings in 6 at 4:20 (Headbutt) by 53.
COT: Mammoth Machine destroyed Peter Lawler in 6 at 3:40 (Headbutt) by 103.
SOS: The Zombie Queen defeated EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 28:22 (Cobra Clutch) by 2.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux bested IMT/67: Flatten the Curve at 27:45 (Cobra Clutch) by 2.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle annihilated COT: Mammoth Machine at 28:15 (Fly Trap) by 2.
Main event: EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers destroyed EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle at 33:57 (The Preppy Killer) by 1. |
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| Card 7: Held in Elrodville (Attendance: 638) |
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COT: Mammoth Machine won over Frank's Friend Kyle in 6 at 4:20 (Headbutt) by 66.
COT: Mammoth Machine over Jimmy Roth in 2 at 14:41 (Disqualification: used powder).
COT: Super Ghost Machine defeated EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 28:50 (Thumb to the Elrod) by 2.
IMT/67: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th defeated EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 28:34 (12th Booster) by 4.
EDGE: 976-EVIL beat COT: Mammoth Machine at 16:16 (Evil Calls) by 6 (Guest Referee: Steve Shields).
Main event: IMT/67: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th drew EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers (Time Limit). |
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| Card 8: Held in Brooklyn (Attendance: 676) |
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COT: Mammoth Machine overpowered Al the Hacksaw in 6 at 7:11 (Headbutt) by 68.
COT: Mammoth Machine annihilated Steve Shields in 6 at 2:23 (Headbutt) by 109.
COT: Mammoth Machine overpowered EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 29:43 (Mammoth Thumb to the Eye) by 4.
IMT/67: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th decked SOS: The Zombie Knight at 28:24 (12th Booster) by 1.
IMT/67: We Are In This Together pinned COT: Mammoth Machine at 28:04 (The Cycle of Death) by 1.
Main event: EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers decked IMT/67: We Are In This Together at 42:18 (The Preppy Killer) by 2. |
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| Card 9: Held in Barbours Cut (Attendance: 271) |
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VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn tied EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux (Time Limit).
COT: Mammoth Machine beat Phil Dukes in 6 at 5:18 (Headbutt) by 80.
Great Lakes title: IMT/67: The New Normal won over EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 16:01 (Point Flow Passport) by 7.
Rocky Mountains title: SOS: The Zombie King pinned IMT/67: We Are In This Together at 28:35 (Cobra Clutch) by 1.
IMT/67: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th defeated COT: Mammoth Machine at 28:28 (12th Booster) by 3.
Main event: EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers annihilated VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 47:44 (The Preppy Killer) by 4. |
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| Card 10: Held in Bucharest (Attendance: 624) |
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Southeast title: SOS: The Zombie Court Jester annihilated VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 27:46 (Cobra Clutch) by 2.
COT: Mammoth Machine over Mike Taylor in 1 at 10:02 (Count Out).
SOS: The Zombie Court Jester defeated EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 28:21 (Cobra Clutch) by 2.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle bested SOS: The Zombie Queen at 29:32 (Fly Trap) by 4.
VIRUS: Hammer won over COT: Mammoth Machine at 28:08 (Hammered) by 2.
Main event: EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers bested VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 56:52 (The Preppy Killer) by 3. |
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| Card 11: Held in Topeka (Attendance: 696) |
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VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn bested COT: Super Ghost Machine at 29:34 (Cobra Clutch) by 1.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux defeated Fred Brown in 6 at 1:53 (Flying Dropkick) by 140 (non-title).
SOS: The Zombie Knight defeated EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 27:02 (Cobra Clutch) by 3.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva decked IMT/67: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 28:13 (Cobra Clutch) by 2 (non-title).
IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones* and Flatten the Curve beat Wally Brick and Drake* in 12 at 6:24 (Brainbuster) by 94.
Main event: EDGE: 976-EVIL annihilated EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 31:42 (Evil Calls) by 3. |
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| Card 12: Held in Austin (Attendance: 297) |
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COT: Mammoth Machine pinned VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 27:21 (Mammoth Thumb to the Eye) by 1.
COT: Mammoth Machine defeated Fred Brown in 6 at 0:25 (Headbutt) by 132.
SOS: The Zombie King overpowered EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 27:12 (Cobra Clutch) by 3.
IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones tied VIRUS: Hammer (Time Limit).
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson and "Under Contract" Anderson Silva* overpowered COT: Super Ghost Machine and Mammoth Machine* at 17:17 (Cobra Clutch) by 13.
Main event: EDGE: 976-EVIL won over VIRUS: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 59:18 (Evil Calls) by 1. |
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| Card 13: Held in Fairview (Attendance: 343) |
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EDGE: 976-EVIL pinned SOS: The Zombie Princess at 20:17 (Evil Calls) by 6 (Guest Referee: IMT/67: We Are In This Together).
COT: Mammoth Machine bested Duffy Wolfe in 6 at 3:52 (Headbutt) by 101.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux defeated SOS: The Zombie Queen at 27:40 (Cobra Clutch) by 1.
EDGE: 976-EVIL decked VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 19:10 (Evil Calls) by 11.
IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones* and Flatten the Curve bested VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson* and "Under Contract" Anderson Silva in 11 at 18:24 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 6 (Guest Referee: Brutal Bud Rose).
Main event: EDGE: 976-EVIL defeated COT: Super Ghost Machine at 48:10 (Evil Calls) by 8. |
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| Card 14: Held in Seattle (Attendance: 260) |
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EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers outmuscled EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 28:42 (The Preppy Killer) by 4.
COT: Mammoth Machine bested Curt Gold in 6 at 3:13 (Headbutt) by 72.
TV title: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva destroyed EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 23:10 (Cobra Clutch) by 6 (Guest Referee: SOS: The Zombie Court Jester).
IMT/67: We Are In This Together annihilated VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 21:43 (The Cycle of Death) by 6 (Guest Referee: Duffy Wolfe).
IMT/67: We Are In This Together, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th* over Martin Dean, "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker*, and Fred Brown in 1 at 5:34 (Count Out).
Main event: EDGE: 976-EVIL annihilated IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones at 41:19 (Evil Calls) by 4. |
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| Card 15: Held in Queens (Attendance: 506) |
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EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers decked COT: Super Ghost Machine at 27:15 (The Preppy Killer) by 5.
COT: Mammoth Machine beat Charlie Ford in 6 at 2:30 (Headbutt) by 96.
IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones pinned EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 27:08 (#1 A-1 Chinese Wok) by 3.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay decked COT: Super Ghost Machine at 27:59 (Pimp Slap) by 2.
IMT/67: We Are In This Together, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th* destroyed VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson*, "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre, and EDGE: 976-EVIL in 9 at 23:57 (Flying Dropkick) by 9.
Main event: EDGE: 976-EVIL destroyed COT: Mammoth Machine at 38:32 (Evil Calls) by 6 (Guest Referee: Phil Dukes). |
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| Card 16: Held in Dacca (Attendance: 447) |
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EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers won over COT: Mammoth Machine at 28:27 (The Preppy Killer) by 3.
COT: Mammoth Machine beat Dr. Blank in 6 at 2:56 (Headbutt) by 82.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux outmuscled COT: Super Ghost Machine at 28:22 (Cobra Clutch) by 1.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle beat COT: Super Ghost Machine at 28:56 (Fly Trap) by 4.
IMT/67: We Are In This Together, The New Normal*, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th decked COT: Shadow Machine, Jurassic Machine, and Mammoth Machine* at 15:20 (Point Flow Passport) by 22.
Main event: EDGE: 976-EVIL pinned IMT/67: Flatten the Curve at 21:09 (Evil Calls) by 9. |
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| Battle Royal: Held in San Antonio (Attendance: 570) |
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VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre pocketed $1,000 after EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers hurled him onto the concrete floor.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn received $1,100 in imaginary earnings after EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle tossed him into the audience.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway collected $1,200 after he was thrown out by VIRUS: Hammer.
VIRUS: Hammer collected $1,300 after VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson threw him outside the ring.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva picked up $1,400 after EDGE: 976-EVIL threw him outside the ring.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane was awarded $1,500 after he got tossed out by EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson was given $1,600 in imaginary money when he was hurled out by EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay collected a cool $1,700 when he was thrown out of the ring by EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle earned $1,800 after being thrown out by EDGE: 976-EVIL.
EDGE: 976-EVIL took home $1,900 after EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers flung him out.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux gained a quick $2,000 when he got thrown out of the ring by EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers was the winner of the battle royal and the $30,000 prize. |
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