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HIRED ASSASSIN LEAGUE

BULLETIN #2 -- FEBRUARY 2019

Card 1 -- Held in Jacksonville (Attendance: 15,836)

LB: German Stormtrooper Hans beat Stink Boy at 1:24 (Stepover Crucifix) by 131 (non-title).
WRSTLING: One Slice Everybody Knows the Rules outmuscled Martin Dean at 3:05 (scissors grip) by 82.
LB: German Stormtrooper Helmut bested "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker at 1:00 (scissors grip) by 137.
LB: German Stormtrooper Hans over Frank's Friend Kyle at 27:56 (disqualification -- used rope to choke) (non-title).
WRSTLING: One Slice Everybody Knows the Rules defeated YETI: Tommy Challenger at 22:58 (Texas cloverleaf) by 7.
Jan Itor beat LB: Gorilla Warfair at 15:23 (Mopped Up) by 9.
WRSTLING: El Pres*, Dave Portnoy, and One Slice Everybody Knows the Rules decked Stink Boy, Stink Man, and Bob* at 3:48 (scorpion deathlock) by 88 *** won the TV Six-man titles.
MAIN EVENT: John Dorian destroyed LB: German Stormtrooper Hans at 41:48 (Scrubbed Out) by 5.

Card 2 -- Held in Milwaukee (Attendance: 44,411)

WRSTLING: El Pres over Stink Boy at 2:34 (disqualification -- used powder).
LB: German Stormtrooper Hans destroyed The Fishy Fisherman at 3:14 (shoulder breaker) by 91 (non-title).
WRSTLING: El Pres won over "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker at 2:34 (double axehandle) by 143.
WRSTLING: El Pres decked Frank's Friend Kyle at 2:07 (big splash) by 129.
YETI: Todd Challenger won over LB: Tank Patton at 27:29 (Right Hand KO Punch) by 1.
Jan Itor won over WRSTLING: El Pres at 29:08 (Mopped Up) by 5.
LB: B.A. Leather, Tank Patton*, and Gorilla Warfair bested Stink Boy*, Stink Man, and The Fishy Fisherman at 4:49 (Manchurian Sleeper) by 70.
MAIN EVENT: John Dorian outmuscled YETI: Tommy Challenger at 42:28 (Scrubbed Out) by 7.

Card 3 -- Held in Des Moines (Attendance: 46,029)

LB: German Stormtrooper Hans beat Stink Man at 2:35 (Boston crab) by 122 (non-title).
WRSTLING: El Pres over The Fishy Fisherman at 3:20 (disqualification -- hit opponent with microphone).
WRSTLING: One Slice Everybody Knows the Rules overpowered "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker at 0:59 (full nelson) by 141.
WRSTLING: One Slice Everybody Knows the Rules outmuscled Frank's Friend Kyle at 3:06 (full nelson) by 90.
John Dorian decked LB: German Stormtrooper Krieger at 29:36 (Scrubbed Out) by 2 (non-title).
Jan Itor won over YETI: Executioner at 29:06 (Mopped Up) by 3.
LB: German Stormtrooper Krieger*, German Stormtrooper Hans, and German Stormtrooper Helmut overpowered Bob, The Fishy Fisherman*, and Baby Face Morgan at 7:18 (Krieger Krush) by 71.
MAIN EVENT: John Dorian destroyed YETI: Todd Challenger at 27:47 (Scrubbed Out) by 4.

Card 4 -- Held in Albany (Attendance: 21,372)

WRSTLING: El Pres won over Stink Man at 0:15 (abdominal stretch) by 127.
WRSTLING: One Slice Everybody Knows the Rules decked The Fishy Fisherman at 6:30 (scissors grip) by 57.
LB: German Stormtrooper Hans pinned The Greater Cheese Grater at 2:43 (Stepover Crucifix) by 125 (non-title).
LB: German Stormtrooper Hans over Al the Hacksaw at 24:31 (disqualification -- used brass knuckles) (non-title).
John Dorian won over YETI: The Spoiler #2 at 27:01 (Scrubbed Out) by 2 (non-title).
Jan Itor pinned The Masked SC at 20:01 (Mopped Up) by 7 (lumberjack).
LB: German Stormtrooper Krieger, German Stormtrooper Hans, and German Stormtrooper Helmut* outmuscled Martin Dean, Neil B. Formee*, and Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings at 6:56 (Krieger Krush) by 83.
MAIN EVENT: John Dorian beat YETI: Rob Challenger at 38:32 (Scrubbed Out) by 4.

Card 5 -- Held in Bahrain (Attendance: 38,674)

WRSTLING: One Slice Everybody Knows the Rules pinned Stink Man at 2:32 (avalanche) by 128.
LB: German Stormtrooper Hans over Drake at 3:46 (disqualification -- used brass knuckles) (non-title).
WRSTLING: El Pres destroyed The Greater Cheese Grater at 1:13 (abdominal stretch) by 117.
WRSTLING: El Pres pinned Al the Hacksaw at 2:59 (atomic drop) by 55.
WRSTLING: One Slice Everybody Knows the Rules won over YETI: The Spoiler #2 at 28:02 (Texas cloverleaf) by 2 *** won the Prairie title.
LB: B.A. Leather annihilated Perry Cox at 13:10 (shoulder breaker) by 14 *** won the Southern title.
LB: B.A. Leather*, Tank Patton, and Gorilla Warfair outmuscled Drake, Bruce Vanquish*, and Moose at 4:23 (Manchurian Sleeper) by 70.
MAIN EVENT: John Dorian annihilated YETI: L.A. Hamilton at 45:32 (Scrubbed Out) by 4.

Card 6 -- Held in Fairview (Attendance: 36,607)

LB: German Stormtrooper Hans destroyed Bob at 3:25 (cross body block) by 73 (non-title).
WRSTLING: El Pres annihilated Drake at 2:56 (atomic drop) by 72.
LB: German Stormtrooper Hans pinned "Clever" Cliff Cleaver at 2:02 (Stepover Crucifix) by 131 (non-title).
WRSTLING: One Slice Everybody Knows the Rules won over Al the Hacksaw at 4:22 (flying head butt) by 77.
YETI: Rob Challenger won over Wayne the Hitman Hammer at 28:30 (The Coffin Nail) by 1.
WRSTLING: Dave Portnoy pinned Perry Cox at 15:06 (belly to belly) by 8.
LB: German Stormtrooper Krieger*, German Stormtrooper Hans, and German Stormtrooper Helmut destroyed Drake*, Neil B. Formee, and Baby Face Morgan at 3:36 (Krieger Krush) by 104 *** won the Six-man titles.
MAIN EVENT: John Dorian defeated LB: German Stormtrooper Krieger at 31:16 (Scrubbed Out) by 2.

Card 7 -- Held in Hammond (Attendance: 36,798)

WRSTLING: El Pres outmuscled Bob at 4:58 (atomic drop) by 77.
WRSTLING: One Slice Everybody Knows the Rules overpowered Drake at 6:38 (scissors grip) by 75.
WRSTLING: El Pres defeated "Clever" Cliff Cleaver at 1:37 (scorpion deathlock) by 133.
LB: German Stormtrooper Hans pinned The Science Teacher at 3:02 (Boston crab) by 115 (non-title).
John Dorian pinned Chris Turke at 28:41 (Scrubbed Out) by 3.
The Giant King Boa beat Perry Cox at 22:54 (Deep Squeeze) by 8 (casket).
The Masked SC*, The Giant King Boa, and Wayne the Hitman Hammer defeated Drake, Al the Hacksaw*, and Baby Face Morgan at 6:37 (flying head butt) by 45.
MAIN EVENT: LB: Jake the Hammer Muldoon defeated John Dorian at 41:44 (Jack Knife Power Bomb) by 2.

Card 8 -- Held in Savannah (Attendance: 22,992)

LB: German Stormtrooper Hans decked Wally Brick at 3:54 (cross body block) by 95 (non-title).
LB: German Stormtrooper Hans over Bruce Vanquish at 13:48 (count out) (non-title).
WRSTLING: One Slice Everybody Knows the Rules defeated "Clever" Cliff Cleaver at 2:59 (Texas cloverleaf) by 136.
LB: German Stormtrooper Helmut outmuscled The Science Teacher at 4:54 (sunset flip) by 114.
Jan Itor defeated John Dorian at 28:41 (Mopped Up) by 2 *** won the TV title.
LB: Tank Patton and Gorilla Warfair over Stink Boy and Stink Man at 2:49 (disqualification -- refused to break choke).
LB: German Stormtrooper Hans, German Stormtrooper Helmut*, and Jake the Hammer Muldoon decked "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker*, "Clever" Cliff Cleaver, and Train Hopper at 4:19 (Stepover Crucifix) by 93.
MAIN EVENT: LB: Jake the Hammer Muldoon decked LB: German Stormtrooper Helmut at 17:55 (Jack Knife Power Bomb) by 10.

Card 9 -- Held in Phoenix (Attendance: 21,513)

LB: Jake the Hammer Muldoon decked Wally Brick at 4:06 (choke slam) by 96.
WRSTLING: El Pres won over Bruce Vanquish at 2:40 (scorpion deathlock) by 109.
LB: Jake the Hammer Muldoon outmuscled Froggy Froggyson at 1:35 (Jack Knife Power Bomb) by 114.
WRSTLING: El Pres won over The Science Teacher at 7:02 (atomic drop) by 71.
John Dorian pinned Perry Cox at 11:46 (Scrubbed Out) by 13 (non-title).
WRSTLING: El Pres* and One Slice Everybody Knows the Rules defeated Stink Boy and Stink Man* at 3:38 (abdominal stretch) by 96.
MAIN EVENT: LB: Jake the Hammer Muldoon annihilated YETI: The Spoiler #2 at 40:40 (Jack Knife Power Bomb) by 4.

Card 10 -- Held in Bern (Attendance: 10,008)

WRSTLING: El Pres bested Wally Brick at 2:03 (atomic drop) by 99.
LB: German Stormtrooper Hans bested Neil B. Formee at 0:39 (Stepover Crucifix) by 150 (non-title).
LB: German Stormtrooper Hans bested Train Hopper at 7:46 (cross body block) by 60 (non-title).
LB: Jake the Hammer Muldoon bested King of Second Street at 0:32 (Jack Knife Power Bomb) by 152.
John Dorian won over LB: German Stormtrooper Helmut at 22:24 (Scrubbed Out) by 8 (non-title).
WRSTLING: Dave Portnoy* and One Slice Everybody Knows the Rules bested Stink Boy and Bob* at 6:29 (belly to belly) by 98.
MAIN EVENT: LB: Jake the Hammer Muldoon won over Perry Cox at 19:27 (Jack Knife Power Bomb) by 15.

Card 11 -- Held in Bryn Mawr (Attendance: 14,951)

LB: German Stormtrooper Hans decked Randy Whitfield at 3:53 (cross body block) by 100 (non-title).
WRSTLING: El Pres over Neil B. Formee at 0:59 (disqualification -- used steel chair).
WRSTLING: El Pres destroyed Train Hopper at 6:12 (double axehandle) by 89.
LB: German Stormtrooper Hans decked Baby Face Morgan at 2:19 (Stepover Crucifix) by 185 (non-title).
John Dorian pinned LB: B.A. Leather at 27:06 (Scrubbed Out) by 2.
WRSTLING: El Pres and Dave Portnoy* overpowered Stink Man and Bob* at 4:45 (scorpion deathlock) by 110 *** won the Tag-team titles.
MAIN EVENT: Jan Itor tied LB: Jake the Hammer Muldoon at 2:06 (no contest).

Card 12 -- Held in El Paso (Attendance: 34,933)

WRSTLING: El Pres destroyed Randy Whitfield at 4:23 (atomic drop) by 104.
WRSTLING: One Slice Everybody Knows the Rules over Neil B. Formee at 5:03 (disqualification -- refused to break choke).
LB: German Stormtrooper Hans won over Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings at 4:15 (shoulder breaker) by 90 (non-title).
WRSTLING: El Pres pinned Baby Face Morgan at 2:27 (scorpion deathlock) by 187.
John Dorian defeated LB: Tank Patton at 28:15 (Scrubbed Out) by 5.
LB: Tank Patton and Gorilla Warfair* defeated Wally Brick and Randy Whitfield* at 6:54 (atomic drop) by 81.
MAIN EVENT: LB: Jake the Hammer Muldoon beat Chris Turke at 36:39 (Jack Knife Power Bomb) by 5.

Card 13 -- Held in Bronx (Attendance: 46,056)

LB: German Stormtrooper Hans pinned Martin Dean at 1:07 (Stepover Crucifix) by 162 (non-title).
LB: German Stormtrooper Hans destroyed The Super Apartment Super at 5:00 (shoulder breaker) by 93 (non-title).
WRSTLING: El Pres over Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings at 15:40 (count out).
WRSTLING: One Slice Everybody Knows the Rules won over Baby Face Morgan at 0:48 (Texas cloverleaf) by 190.
John Dorian overpowered LB: Gorilla Warfair at 21:08 (Scrubbed Out) by 7.
LB: German Stormtrooper Hans and German Stormtrooper Helmut* pinned Wally Brick* and "Clever" Cliff Cleaver at 0:50 (Stepover Crucifix) by 103 *** won the TV Tag-team titles.
MAIN EVENT: LB: Jake the Hammer Muldoon overpowered LB: Tank Patton at 23:07 (avalanche) by 6 (Guest referee: WRSTLING: El Pres).

Card 14 -- Held in Fort Wayne (Attendance: 6,261)

LB: Jake the Hammer Muldoon won over Martin Dean at 2:24 (avalanche) by 157.
WRSTLING: El Pres overpowered The Super Apartment Super at 5:10 (airplane spin) by 97.
WRSTLING: One Slice Everybody Knows the Rules over Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings at 6:51 (count out).
John Dorian beat YETI: Tommy Challenger at 22:49 (Scrubbed Out) by 7 *** won the Atlantic title.
LB: Jake the Hammer Muldoon pinned John Dorian at 27:37 (Jack Knife Power Bomb) by 2 (non-title).
LB: German Stormtrooper Hans and German Stormtrooper Helmut* pinned Randy Whitfield* and The Greater Cheese Grater at 1:53 (Stepover Crucifix) by 103.
MAIN EVENT: LB: Jake the Hammer Muldoon pinned LB: B.A. Leather at 28:17 (Jack Knife Power Bomb) by 4.

Card 15 -- Held in Santiago (Attendance: 31,052)

WRSTLING: El Pres pinned Martin Dean at 4:35 (atomic drop) by 79.
LB: German Stormtrooper Hans destroyed "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker at 0:36 (atomic drop) by 138 (non-title).
LB: German Stormtrooper Hans beat Frank N. Stein at 3:05 (shoulder breaker) by 107 (non-title).
LB: B.A. Leather annihilated YETI: Tommy Challenger at 27:36 (Manchurian Sleeper) by 5.
John Dorian annihilated Mike the Macho Man Edwards at 5:20 (Scrubbed Out) by 94 (non-title).
The Masked SC and The Giant King Boa* defeated Martin Dean* and Neil B. Formee at 2:35 (flying head butt) by 59.
MAIN EVENT: LB: Jake the Hammer Muldoon annihilated LB: Gorilla Warfair at 23:54 (Jack Knife Power Bomb) by 9.

Battle Royal -- Held in Concord (Attendance: 44,984)

LB: Gorilla Warfair gained $1,000 after getting thrown into some chairs at ringside by WRSTLING: El Pres.
LB: German Stormtrooper Hans collected $1,100 in imaginary money after he was thrown into some chairs at ringside by The Giant King Boa.
WRSTLING: El Pres was awarded an imaginary $1,200 when he got tossed onto the steps by LB: Jake the Hammer Muldoon.
LB: B.A. Leather made $1,300 when The Giant King Boa flipped him into the audience.
LB: German Stormtrooper Helmut received $1,400 when he got tossed out by The Giant King Boa.
The Giant King Boa snatched a quick $1,500 after LB: Jake the Hammer Muldoon catapulted him out.
LB: Tank Patton picked up $1,600 when LB: Jake the Hammer Muldoon threw him onto the concrete floor.
LB: Jake the Hammer Muldoon won the battle royal and the $30,000 purse.

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