IWA REPORT
Vol. 22, No. 7 -- May 2017
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HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES -- engraved plaque

Dimitrios Zervas of New York

Annoying Orange Juice (EEL) 1,295-171-27, $2,144,200 *13

Anthony Rodriguez of Alabama

EDGE: Anthony S. Spivey (NDL) 2,675-366-118, $7,368,200 *63
EDGE: Danny S. Spivey (NDL) 2,130-507-131, $6,195,700 *77
EDGE: Travis T. Spivey (NDL) 1,228-394-115, $4,778,400 *69
EDGE: Mr. Excellent (NDL) 2,560-307-99, $4,640,000 *52
EDGE: Mr. Hardcore (NDL) 2,675-338-107, $4,799,800 *55
EDGE: Gravedigger (NDL) 1,928-276-70, $4,734,700 *47
EDGE: Zachary Tyler (NDL) 1,273-339-80, $2,705,400 *40

 

WORLD, U.S., KING OF THE RING

World Champion

VIRUS: Scrub-A-Licious (NFL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; 501; $300,000 + 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt & 50 free matches

Commercials come to an end, and the IWA show begins to air...

Kim: "Why is it just static? Did you guys play the feed?"

Kim's assistant #1: "Yeah, the feed is playing. What's going on?"

Kim's assistant #2: "I think we caught a computer VIRUS!"

Kim: "What?!? Switch to the satellite feed! I want to see what the heckler those guys are doing!"

Suddenly, the House of Infection appears on the screen. Kim's assistants zoom in on part of the yard where it looks like people are working. After zooming in closer, they see Keith "The Devil" Voss pointing and giving orders. Then the Devil's top minion, Damon Voss, cracks a whip in the direction he pointed to, causing the lost souls of the LWL to work harder building the Devil's new playground. Cornbread is seen off to the side, relaxing in a lawn chair with some shine, giving a chuckle every time the whip cracks. The assistants pan over to the backyard, where they see Kyle basting a pig that's on a rotisserie over a campfire. The rest of the Infection are seen enjoying the festivities when one of them looks up. He motions to the others, and they all look up at the satellite with their heads tilted and smiling. DeJesus points up with his hand as a gun and drops his thumb as if during a shot. Seconds later, the feed is lost and an image pops up on the screen...

Kim: "What the... what is this?!? You can't tell me he killed our satellite with his freaking finger!"

Assistant #1: "I don't know what's going on!"

Kim: "Go back to our regular feed!"

Thee F.B.III is seen inside the ring with his World Champion, World Tag Champions, and World Six-man Champions. F.B.III begins to speak...

F.B.III: "Good evening, wrestling fans! I just came up here to congratulate my wrestlers here in the ring. They have done an outstanding job, and I hope to manage them to many more titles throughout their careers. I would also like to give a shout-out to all you rookies out there. If any of you are looking to upgrade your gameplay, we would love to show you the way. We are having open invitations and tryouts for rookies only. Together, we can learn to adapt and overcome the difficulties that we face here in the ring! So don't delay, and join the greatest thing going today!"

F.B.III hands the World Champion the mic.

Scrub-A-Licious: "I would like to thank all that competition out there for giving me a fight. Holding this prestige title is great, but overcoming the competition to get here is even greater! Thank you!"

Walker #3: "My teammates and I are just beginning to run the multi scene, and we will continue to do so! Not very much you people can do about it!"

"Drunk" Terry Flunk lets out a huge belch.

Flunk: "We told everyone in the GRL that we was the tag-team to beat! Perhaps now they'll step up and do something, hahaha! Here's one for ya, bums..."

Flunk crushes an empty beer can against his forehead and tosses the flattened can at the cameraman, causing him to stumble backward and fall off the ring, breaking the camera and forcing the IWA to cut to commercial.

U.S. Champion

EDGE/JERKSS: SKD (LSL)
Erik Davis of Washington; 501; $60,000 + a plaque or 25 free matches

King of the Ring

LATIN: Dominican Beauty Amelia Vega (HWL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; 274 KotR total; hold positions were 3, 4, 5, 8, 9, 11, 12, 13; battle royal hold positions were 1, 2, 6, 7, 8, 10, 14, 15

 

SPECIALTY TITLES -- $25,000 + 10 free matches

American Champion

EDGE/H25: Grandpa's Nutty War (AEL)
Sully "The Sledgehammer" Sullivan of Canada; manager retained title; 501

Asiatic Champion

LATIN: Cuba's Best (CSL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 500

Hardcore Champion

ARMY/IMT: The Ruffian (CZL)
Donald Henry of Illinois; 501; edged IMT: Jan Valek (LNL)

Metropolitan Champion

EMPIRE: Blackjack Robertson (IWL)
Ryan Patrick of Michigan; 10 free matches

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS -- $40,000 + 25 free matches

Iron Federation Champion

EDGE: A Wild Beast (IML)
Eugene Quintana of California; 501

Steel Federation Champion

VIRUS: The One M.J. (AWL)
Mitchell Johnson of Michigan; 500

Gold Federation Champion

IMT/ARMY: Bakh Olumba (MML)
Jeff Chambers of Iowa; 500; edged IMT: It Came from the IIL (TDL)

Diamond Federation Champion

VIRUS: Scrub-A-Licious (NFL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; 501

Bronze Federation Champion

IMT: Jan Valek (LNL)
David Trousdale of Michigan; 501; edged EDGE/H25: Grandpa's Nutty War (AEL)

Jade Federation Champion

ARMY/IMT: The Ruffian (CZL)
Donald Henry of Illinois; 501; edged EDGE/H25: #1 EDGE Manager Mike Cook (TGL)

 

NATIONAL, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS -- $20,000

National Champion

LATIN: Nicaraguan Beauty Christiana Mendoza (NAL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; Mountain region

Atlantic Champion

RF: Brother B. Haitin (AWL)
George Erlewein, Jr. of Indiana; 501; edged EDGE/H25: Rick Steel (IIL)

Central Champion

EDGE/CHOSEN: Alec Roberts (GRL)
Rob Bream of Pennsylvania; 500; edged VIRUS: Zika Virus (SWL), EDGE: Iceman Jason McGrew (AEL)

Dixie Champion

IMT/ARMY: Windwalker (SWL)
Jeff Chambers of Iowa; 501

Eastern Champion

LATIN: Dominican Beauty Amelia Vega (HWL)
Matt Yunick; 501

Northern Champion

EDGE/CHOSEN: Uno (OSL)
Rich Reilly of New Jersey; 501

Pacific Champion

Patient Z (LNL)
Seth Brubaker of Ohio; 500; edged LATIN: Matt's Latin Girlfriend Sandra (AEL)

Prairie Champion

EDGE/H25: TESD Walt (HSL)
Michael Cook of Kentucky; 501

Southern Champion

VIRUS: "Drunk" Terry Flunk (GRL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; 500

Western Champion

EDGE: Fabulous Fred Fierce (KKL)
Jason McGrew of Illinois; 501

 

LADIES' TITLES

Ladies' World Champion

IMT/ARMY: Soralla Round-Legs (LLL)
Jeff Chambers of Iowa; 500; $40,000 + a plaque or 15 free matches

Ladies' U.S. Champion

IMT/ARMY: Kiring the Harrier (LLL)
Jeff Chambers; $20,000; edged Knightshade (RWL), WC: Knockout Kelly Bundy (MDL)

Queen of the Ring

VIRUS: Rachel "The Whale" Huntoon (MDL)
Jason Battaglia of New York; 269 QotR total

Ladies' National Champion

IMT/ARMY: Gretna Sun-Maiden (LLL)
Jeff Chambers; 499; edged Ellie Williams, IMT/ARMY: Isgeror Craven (LLL)

Ladies' Tag-team Champions

Riot Grrrls "Survivor" Ellie Williams & "Cutter" Laura Kinney (RWL)
Lone Wolf's Penny Barber (Michael Long) of Seattle

Ladies' U.S. Tag-team Champions

EDGE/H25: Sara & Alexa Xtreme (VVL)
Joshua Haight of Wisconsin

World Six-woman Champions

H25/EDGE: Godzilla Gang Shi, San, Go FG (VVL)
Rich Schwartzenburg of Canada

U.S. Six-woman Champions

VIRUS: Zombies #7, #8, #10 (VVL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; edged IMT/LPPF: Misfit Divas #2, #5, #7 (FFL)

 

TAG-TEAM TITLES

World Tag-team Champions

MWC: Commissioner Lenny Finkle & Commissioner's Bodyguard (QPL)
Steven M. Shotliff of Minnesota; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

IMT/LPPF: Slapped Fate & IMT/BLOOD: The Mighty Mockingbird (XPL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi & "Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont

VIRUS: "Drunk" Terry Flunk & Cactus Sac (GRL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan

Top Contenders

4. VIRUS: Chief Attakullakulla & Pee "The Wannabee" Wee (HWL)
IMT/ARMY: Faz Dot Com & Big Sexy James Earl Jones (PKL)

6. IMT/LPPF: "The Mouth of the South" Jimmy Hart & Downtown Bruno (THL)
IMT/LPPF: Moondogs Spot & Cool Joe (TGL)

8. Matt & Dustin York (CCL)

9. LATIN: Matt's Latin Girlfriends Penelope & Sophia (KHL)

10. EDGE/CHOSEN: Midnight & Moon Warriors (BRL)

11. IMT/ARMY: Joe MacMillan & Vengeance (SWL)
IMT/ARMY: Survival Hunter & Omura? (MML)
EDGE/H25: Forgotten Cutthroat & Warrior Mike Cook (HSL)

14. EDGE: Droids X7 & X8 (WEL)
EDGE: Rat Fink & Bush Leaguer (TDL)

16. Milton Schnozzbuster & Pokey McSnail (CWL)
last of the teams with 516

U.S. Tag-team Champions

IMT/BLOOD: Max Violence & IMT/LPPF: Xtreme Assassin #4 (XPL)
Mark Duchaine & Keith A. Maple of Ohio; 516; $20,000; edged MWC: The Rockin' Redneck & The Scramblin' Hillbilly (QPL), IMT/LPPF: Masked Robinsons #4 & #5 (TTL) (WEL), IMT/LPPF: "Gorgeous" Gerald (ECL) & Gerald "The Magnificent" Robinson (THL), IMT/LPPF: Moondogs Bark & Spike (TGL), EDGE: Droids 015 & 020 (AAL), EDGE/CHOSEN: Keith & Bruce Scott (BRL), MWC: Hooded Soldier III & Buffwell (KHL), IMT/ARMY: Naked Grandma & Grandpa (AOL)

 

SIX-MAN TITLES

World Six-man Champions

IMT/ARMY: Buzz Kutt, Furry Manderson, "Idaho Guy" Jeff Chambers (QPL)
Jeff Chambers of Iowa; manager held titles 3 cycles in a row; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

IMT/ARMY: Anderson, The Chosen One Jerry Anderson, LL COOL JERRY (AOL)
Jerry Anderson of Michigan

VIRUS/TSD: Walker #3, Masked Canadian #3, Mystery IML Masked Man #3 (IML)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan (Walker) & Michael Giuliano of Connecticut; Belcher held titles 3 cycles in a row

VIRUS: Mr., Lord, Emperor Doom (XPL)
Randall Angel of Louisiana

LATIN: Liberator Manuela Saenz, Freedom Fighter Simon Bolivar, Ecuador's Finest (MUL)
Matt Yunick of New York; manager retained titles

Top Contenders

6. EDGE/H25: Mike "Duves," Small Roster Mike Cook, EDGE: Thugtastic (TGL)

7. VIRUS: Hades, Ares, Dionysus Royal (EEL)

8. EDGE/CHOSEN: Horsemen 1, 2, 3 (JDL)
last of the teams with 521

9. EDGE: Droids 010, 011, 012 (AAL)
LATIN: Matt's Latin Girlfriend Juanita, Singer Marc Anthony, Miss Puerto Rico (LSL)
IMT/LPPF: King Kaos, Conjoined Twins - Ned, Ted (XWL)
IMT/BLOOD: Kuku Racha, IMT/LPPF: Lucas, Arrogance Rising (GRL)
IMT: Enjoy Your Ignorance, Mister Fight from America, A Chicken Named Floppy (CSL)

U.S. Six-man Champions

LATIN: Senoritas Jasmine B., Isabella C., Dominican Beauty Massiel Taveras (HWL)
Matt Yunick; manager held titles 4 cycles in a row; share of $20,000

VIRUS: Juggalo, Wicked Clown, The Smog (GRL)
VIRUS: Zika Virus, Influenza, Horse Pox (SWL)
Frank Jay Belcher III; manager retained titles

IMT/ARMY: The Donald, Trump Supporters #4, #5 (CZL)
Jerry Anderson

IMT/ARMY: Greich, Gromble, Snizzle (QPL)
Jeff Chambers

ARMY/IMT: "Ultra-Violent" Chico Salazar, "Fist of the Voiceless" Daryl Coleman, "Bloodletter" Xeno X-Rod Rodriguez (JDL)
Donald Henry of Illinois; 521; edged EDGE: Vinnie Testosteroni, Randy King Kong Korte, Fabulous Fred Fierce (XWL)

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES

1. ASL (1,125 matches) 491.340

2. LWL (1,022 matches) 490.069

3. BRL (1,001 matches) 490.523

4. NWL (877 matches) 456.745

5. IWL (714 matches) 490.060

6. NBL (520 matches) 479.966

7. CWL (480 matches) 491.217

8. NSL (339 matches) 491.087

9. ECL (336 matches) 491.578
won the two matches for $1 cycle for having the highest average strategy total (counting only active wrestlers)

10. MUL (327 matches) 491.276

 

TOP 20 VICTORIES -- active wrestlers only

1. Arsenal (ABL) 15,518-2,011-538

2. APO: Gypsy Rose Lee (ECL) 12,155-3,168-873

3. VIRUS: Mike Drake (HWL) 10,740-1,125-290

4. VIRUS: Cpl. Punishment (LBL) 9,079-541-137

5. Kaptain Kryptonite (NBL) 8,625-1,672-502

6. IMT/BLOOD: Sir Gunther Kinderwacht (BRL) 8,320-756-197

7. IMT/LPPF: Medieval Tymes (XPL) 6,581-863-158

8. Death Warrant (CWL) 6,344-534-111

9. SITH: Darth Carnage (NSL) 6,300-1,006-166

10. SITH: Darth Thanatos (NSL) 6,250-1,003-176

11. DFI: American Freedom Fighter E.J. (SHL) 6,211-997-274

12. SITH: Darth Avatar (NSL) 6,179-969-181

13. SITH: Darth Ravage (NSL) 6,129-973-179

14. SITH: Darth Bedlam (NSL) 6,112-1,075-170

15. IMT/BLOOD: Wonderful Wally Brown (GRL) 6,009-587-202

16. VIRUS/TSD: The Survivor (ECL) 5,943-1,452-294

17. "Mr. Everything" Kirk Lockran (AWL) 5,775-1,370-278

18. Dan the Man (HSL) 5,559-1,009-177

19. NGAA: Rydia Stormer (MDL) 5,243-1,588-299

20. EDGE: Demon (BBL) 5,229-2,379-108

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

Iron Federation

Center Stage, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Heroes and Legends, Iron Man, Main Event, Quick Pin, Xtreme Poison

Steel Federation

American Wrestling, Classic Championship Wrestling, Intense Impact, King of Kings, Louisiana Swamp, Man Up, New Blood, Old School, Vicious Valkyries, World Domination

Gold Federation

All Star, Battle Royal, Blood Bath, Continental Wrestling, Global Wrestling, Independent Wrestling, Knight's Honor, Mexican Mayhem, Mystic Diva, National Wrestling, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death, Triple Threat

Diamond Federation

At Bat, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Lethal Brawling, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling

Bronze Federation

American Extreme, American Outlaw, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hardcore Superstars, Iron Glove, Living Nightmare, Revolution Wrestling, Strong Style Wrestling

Jade Federation

Atomic Age, Combat Zone, Deluxe Wrestling, Jade Dragon, Lone Wolf, Lovely Ladies, Psychotic Killer, Super Hero, True Grit, Wrestlers Elite

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