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CELEBRITIES ONLY LEAGUE

BULLETIN #285 -- WINTER 2024

Card 1: Held in Albany (Attendance: 5,588)

SOS: Lifeguard Wade pinned Tom Arnold in 6 at 4:34 (Ankle Lock) by 74.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade over Taylor Swift in 1 at 5:47 (Count Out).
CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster over Josh Duggar in 1 at 6:35 (Count Out).
SOS: Lifeguard Wade defeated Leon Lett in 6 at 5:41 (Ankle Lock) by 90.
SOS: Alabama Doink outmuscled SOS: Prejudice at 29:42 (Hey Hey It's Conrad) by 5.
SOS: Lust destroyed CURE/VD: Spanish Flu at 28:05 (Sudden Attraction) by 5.
SOS: LE Williams destroyed CURE: Mike Eaves at 28:50 (Ball And Chain) by 3.
Main event: SOS: Oma Gerd annihilated CURE: Charred Nightmare at 41:42 (Oma Gosh) by 1.

Card 2: Held in Madison (Attendance: 7,674)

CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster destroyed Tom Arnold in 12 at 1:27 (Cobra Clutch) by 181.
CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster decked Taylor Swift in 6 at 3:35 (Side Slam) by 92.
SOS: Rash overpowered SOS: Wrath at 27:44 (Intense Itching) by 2.
CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster annihilated Leon Lett in 6 at 2:19 (Side Slam) by 90.
West Coast title: SOS: "Pistol" Pez Dispenser pinned SOS: Envy at 21:27 (Cherry Pop Tart) by 6.

SOS: Lust drew CURE: Masked Misfit #2 at 6:28 (Double Count Out).
CURE/VD: Squidward pinned SOS: Prejudice at 28:04 (Backbreaker) by 3.
Main event: SOS: Oma Gerd overpowered SOS: Prejudice at 22:21 (Oma Gosh) by 6.

Card 3: Held in Lexington (Attendance: 9,746)

SOS: Lust beat SOS: Javy Jaggar at 28:51 (Sudden Attraction) by 1.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade outmuscled Mama June in 6 at 2:31 (Ankle Lock) by 95.
SOS: Rash bested CURE/VD: Norovirus at 28:47 (Intense Itching) by 2.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade over Gary Anderson in 2 at 3:26 (Count Out).
CURE/VD: Patrick over CURE/CTI: Bootylicious in 10 at 4:59 (Count Out).
SOS: Oma Gerd pinned CURE/VD: HIV at 28:00 (Oma Gosh) by 1.
SOS: Preston James decked SOS: Prejudice at 28:45 (Prank Call) by 2.
Main event: SOS: Oma Gerd pinned SOS: Irma Gerd at 37:13 (Oma Gosh) by 4.

Card 4: Held in Barcelona (Attendance: 8,918)

SOS: Gill T bested SOS: Dark Messyer at 28:45 (Guilty Verdict) by 3.
CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster beat Mama June in 6 at 6:03 (Side Slam) by 95.
SOS: Rash pinned CURE/CTI: Gynecologists at 28:13 (Intense Itching) by 1.
CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster over Gary Anderson in 2 at 13:59 (Count Out).
Southwest title: CURE/CTI: Family Jewels overpowered CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 29:17 (Stunner) by 2.

SOS: Oma Gerd overpowered SOS: Irma Gerd at 28:04 (Oma Gosh) by 4 (non-title).
CURE/VD: Cow Pox defeated SOS: Prejudice at 28:24 (Backbreaker) by 2.
Main event: SOS: Oma Gerd overpowered CURE: Mike Eaves at 29:01 (Oma Gosh) by 5.

Card 5: Held in Paradise (Attendance: 1,547)

Great Lakes title: SOS: Shane Gretsky pinned CURE: Mike Eaves at 29:38 (The Slap Shot) by 5.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade pinned Richard Hatch in 6 at 1:25 (Ankle Lock) by 109.
SOS: Oma Gerd defeated SOS: Rash at 27:20 (Oma Gosh) by 2 (non-title).
SOS: Pimple defeated SOS: Irma Gerd at 29:14 (The Popper) by 2.
SOS: Garth String annihilated CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 29:25 (Another One) by 1.
SOS: Gill T outmuscled SOS: Oma Gerd at 28:06 (Guilty Verdict) by 1.
CURE/VD: Sponge Bob won over CURE: Mike Eaves at 29:14 (Backbreaker) by 2.
Main event: SOS: Gill T won over SOS: Oma Gerd at 51:25 (Guilty Verdict) by 1.

Card 6: Held in Pensacola (Attendance: 3,602)

CURE: Charred Nightmare decked Vanilla Ice in 6 at 1:45 (European Uppercut) by 116 (non-title).
CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster pinned Richard Hatch in 6 at 3:17 (Side Slam) by 109.
SOS: Rash bested CURE: Masked Misfit #1 at 27:19 (Intense Itching) by 1.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade destroyed Fallen Paparazzi #1 in 6 at 2:13 (Ankle Lock) by 126.
SOS: Lust won over CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 28:59 (Sudden Attraction) by 1.
SOS: Oma Gerd bested CURE/VD: Chlamydia at 27:04 (Oma Gosh) by 1.
CURE/VD: Yellow Fever annihilated SOS: Envy at 27:24 (Backbreaker) by 1.
Main event: SOS: Gill T bested SOS: Lust at 39:16 (Guilty Verdict) by 4.

Card 7: Held in Matamoros (Attendance: 6,625)

SOS: Lifeguard Wade over Hugh Grant in 1 at 29:17 (Count Out).
SOS: Zitz defeated CURE/VD: Protozoa at 29:47 (Zigga Zig Ah) by 1.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade bested Khloe Kardashian in 6 at 0:37 (Ankle Lock) by 106.
CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster over Fallen Paparazzi #1 in 1 at 8:36 (Count Out).
SOS: Oma Gerd defeated CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 29:57 (Oma Gosh) by 4 (non-title).
Central Plains title: SOS: Oma Gerd destroyed SOS: Prejudice at 16:50 (Oma Gosh) by 6.

CURE: Masked Misfit #3 defeated SOS: Envy at 29:10 (Stunner) by 2.
Main event: SOS: Gill T overpowered CURE/VD: Patrick at 55:09 (Guilty Verdict) by 4.

Card 8: Held in Kilkenny (Attendance: 2,410)

CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster annihilated Hugh Grant in 6 at 2:30 (Side Slam) by 94.
SOS: Zitz over CURE/VD: Pink Eye in 14 at 2:04 (Count Out).
CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster overpowered Khloe Kardashian in 6 at 1:13 (Side Slam) by 106.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade outmuscled Ross Perot in 6 at 4:43 (Ankle Lock) by 115.
SOS: Gill T decked CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 29:21 (Guilty Verdict) by 5 (non-title).
SOS: Oma Gerd overpowered SOS: Envy at 28:38 (Oma Gosh) by 5.
CURE/VD: Protozoa and CURE/CTI: Gynecologists* destroyed CURE/VD: Tonsillitis and CURE/CTI: Humpty Hump* at 16:18 (Stunner) by 6.
Main event: SOS: Gill T bested SOS: Rash at 51:29 (Guilty Verdict) by 3.

Card 9: Held in Hiroshima (Attendance: 3,776)

SOS: Lifeguard Wade overpowered Lil' Baby in 6 at 0:53 (Ankle Lock) by 108.
Southeast title: CURE/VD: Strep Throat defeated SOS: Zitz at 29:28 (Stunner) by 1.

SOS: Lifeguard Wade bested Drita D'Avanzo in 6 at 6:06 (Ankle Lock) by 72.
CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster destroyed Ross Perot in 6 at 2:35 (Side Slam) by 115.
CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson tied CURE/VD: Wicked Clown at 5:31 (Double Count Out).
SOS: Oma Gerd won over SOS: Lifeguard Wade at 29:39 (Oma Gosh) by 1.
CURE/VD: Tonsillitis and CURE/CTI: Humpty Hump* beat CURE/VD: Pink Eye and CURE/CTI: Bootylicious* at 29:35 (Stunner) by 4.
Main event: SOS: Gill T pinned SOS: Zitz at 40:24 (Guilty Verdict) by 4.

Card 10: Held in Bangkok (Attendance: 9,322)

CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster destroyed Lil' Baby in 6 at 2:48 (Side Slam) by 108.
SOS: Zitz drew CURE/CTI: Rectal at 8:35 (Double Count Out).
CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster won over Drita D'Avanzo in 6 at 4:54 (Side Slam) by 72.
SOS: Gill T outmuscled CURE/VD: The Smog at 22:42 (Guilty Verdict) by 9.
CURE: Mike Eaves defeated CURE/VD: Zika Virus at 29:36 (Stunner) by 2.
SOS: Oma Gerd outmuscled CURE/VD: "Drunk" Terry Flunk at 27:46 (Oma Gosh) by 2.
CURE/VD: The Smog and Swine Flu* drew CURE/VD: Tonsillitis and CURE/CTI: Humpty Hump* at 3:11 (Double Count Out).
Main event: SOS: Gill T decked CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 37:33 (Guilty Verdict) by 5.

Card 11: Held in Pittsburgh (Attendance: 8,583)

SOS: Lifeguard Wade outmuscled Vanilla Ice in 6 at 1:19 (Ankle Lock) by 113.
SOS: Zitz defeated SOS: Gary String at 27:53 (Zigga Zig Ah) by 2.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade destroyed Andres Escobar in 8 at 2:24 (European Uppercut) by 105.
CURE/VD: Gone Aria drew SOS: Oma Gerd at 2:54 (Double Count Out).
SOS: Oma Gerd overpowered CURE/VD: Patrick at 29:24 (Oma Gosh) by 3 (non-title).
CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster beat SOS: Oma Gerd at 27:32 (Chicken Hunting) by 2 (non-title).
League Tag-team titles: CURE/VD: Strep Throat* and Squidward pinned CURE/VD: Tonsillitis and CURE/CTI: Humpty Hump* at 18:26 (Stunner) by 8.

Main event: SOS: Gill T decked SOS: Envy at 26:50 (Guilty Verdict) by 6.

Card 12: Held in Staten Island (Attendance: 9,773)

CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster won over Vanilla Ice in 6 at 3:37 (Side Slam) by 113.
SOS: Oma Gerd annihilated SOS: Zitz at 27:11 (Oma Gosh) by 3 (non-title).
CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster won over Andres Escobar in 6 at 7:32 (Side Slam) by 67.
Pacific Northwest title: SOS: Sloth decked CURE/VD: Patrick at 27:01 (The Pig Pen) by 1.

CURE/VD: Patrick pinned CURE/VD: Influenza at 29:41 (Stunner) by 5.
TV title: CURE/VD: Candyman bested SOS: Oma Gerd at 27:24 (Butterfinger) by 1.

TV Tag-team titles: CURE/CTI: Family Jewels* and CURE/VD: Sponge Bob beat CURE/VD: Tonsillitis and CURE/CTI: Humpty Hump* at 21:47 (Stunner) by 8.

Main event: SOS: Gill T defeated CURE/VD: "Drunk" Terry Flunk at 57:58 (Guilty Verdict) by 3.

Card 13: Held in Belfast (Attendance: 9,544)

SOS: Lifeguard Wade outmuscled Lizzo in 6 at 3:51 (Ankle Lock) by 74.
SOS: Zitz annihilated CURE: Striker Jedi at 18:12 (Zigga Zig Ah) by 14.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade pinned Fred Merkle in 12 at 1:47 (Cobra Clutch) by 166.
SOS: Oma Gerd destroyed CURE/VD: Cactus Sac at 29:31 (Oma Gosh) by 4.
CURE/VD: Patrick decked CURE/VD: Swine Flu at 28:48 (Stunner) by 4.
SOS: Oma Gerd beat CURE: Mike Eaves at 29:37 (Oma Gosh) by 5 (non-title).
CURE/CTI: Rectal* and CURE/VD: Cow Pox defeated CURE/VD: Tonsillitis and CURE/CTI: Humpty Hump* at 22:22 (Stunner) by 6.
Main event: CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster defeated SOS: Gill T at 53:57 (Chicken Hunting) by 1.

Card 14: Held in Compton (Attendance: 3,787)

CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster overpowered Lizzo in 6 at 7:53 (Side Slam) by 74.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade beat Andy Herren in 6 at 4:46 (Ankle Lock) by 98.
CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster defeated Fred Merkle in 12 at 2:29 (Cobra Clutch) by 166.
Northeast title: SOS: Greed destroyed SOS: Lust at 28:13 (Jackpot) by 2.

CURE/CTI: Humpty Hump tied SOS: Envy at 7:31 (Double Disqualification).
SOS: Oma Gerd decked NME/VIP: Herosaki at 6:30 (Oma Gosh) by 35 (non-title).
CURE/VD: Tonsillitis and CURE/CTI: Humpty Hump* tied CURE/VD: Zika Virus* and Spanish Flu (Time Limit).
Main event: CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster beat CURE/VD: Gone Aria at 29:25 (Chicken Hunting) by 2.

Card 15: Held in Seville (Attendance: 9,286)

SOS: Lifeguard Wade pinned Lady Gaga in 6 at 5:06 (Ankle Lock) by 71.
CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster outmuscled Andy Herren in 6 at 2:54 (Side Slam) by 98.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade pinned Chris Webber in 6 at 4:35 (Ankle Lock) by 107.
SOS: Gill T outmuscled SOS: Gluttony at 29:37 (Guilty Verdict) by 4.
SOS: Irma Gerd annihilated CURE/VD: Shingles at 29:42 (Irma Genius) by 3.
East Coast title: SOS: Lifeguard Daron destroyed SOS: Irma Gerd at 28:47 (High Tide) by 4.

CURE/VD: Tonsillitis and CURE/CTI: Humpty Hump* tied CURE/VD: Shingles* and Influenza (Time Limit).
Main event: CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster bested SOS: Scott Commodity at 57:21 (Chicken Hunting) by 2.

Card 16: Held in Coden (Attendance: 2,855)

CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster destroyed Lady Gaga in 6 at 5:13 (Side Slam) by 71.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade outmuscled Josh Duggar at 0:54 (Rip Current) by 163.
CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster overpowered Chris Webber in 6 at 3:41 (Side Slam) by 107.
SOS: Lust destroyed CURE/VD: Tonsillitis at 28:17 (Sudden Attraction) by 5.
SOS: Oma Gerd bested SOS: Lust at 29:25 (Oma Gosh) by 3 (non-title).
SOS: Gill T destroyed CURE/VD: Horse Pox at 29:39 (Guilty Verdict) by 4.
CURE/VD: Yellow Fever and Horse Pox* outmuscled CURE/VD: Tonsillitis and CURE/CTI: Humpty Hump* at 24:20 (Stunner) by 6.
Main event: CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster beat CURE/VD: Chlamydia at 59:32 (Chicken Hunting) by 3.

Battle Royal: Held in Akron (Attendance: 9,921)

CURE: Striker Jedi received $1,000 when he got thrown onto the announcer's table by CURE: Charred Nightmare.
CURE: Charred Nightmare was the winner of the battle royal and the $30,000 prize.

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