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BRASS KNUCKLES LEAGUE

BULLETIN #1 -- WINTER 2019

Card 1 -- Held in London (Attendance: 22,608)

SOS: Xsane defeated Jacques Williams at 2:43 (rolling scissors) by 105.
SOS: The Uninvited House Guest annihilated Jacques Williams at 1:01 (rolling scissors) by 105.
SOS: "Big Broseph" Seth Brosevic decked Jacques Williams at 1:11 (rolling scissors) by 105.
SOS: Dr. D. Dogbreath destroyed Jacques Williams at 4:32 (rolling scissors) by 105.
SOS: Extremely Tired Teacher bested Jacques Williams at 4:13 (fireman's carry ram) by 108 *** won the League title.
SOS: Enthusiastic Soccer Mom pinned Jacques Williams at 3:27 (fireman's carry ram) by 108 *** won the TV title.

Battle Royal -- Held in Burton (Attendance: 19,964)

Bobert Cuttlefish received $1,000 when he was thrown over the turnbuckle by The Body Slammer.
"Too Cool" Johnny Kuhl was given $1,100 when he was flipped into his manager at ringside by Gregory Goliath.
Louie G. Louie took home $1,200 when Walter McShnerd and Morris Mack hurled him out of the ring.
Jacques Williams was paid $1,300 in imaginary earnings when he was thrown out by Frank Tortilla.
"The Woodchuck" Chuck Wood picked up $1,400 after Gregory Goliath threw him out.
Samuel B. Sorry pocketed $1,500 after Walter McShnerd threw him outside the ring.
Cyclopto won $1,600 when he got catapulted out by The Body Slammer.
Larry "Lefty" Lawrence grabbed $1,700 after Nelson Needlemeier threw him onto the announcer's table.
The Mobster received $1,800 in imaginary money after SOS: Extremely Tired Teacher catapulted him outside the ring.
Hemingway Matthews grabbed $1,900 in imaginary earnings after he got hurled out by Drake Overtone.
Turk L. Stein grabbed $2,000 after SOS: The Uninvited House Guest flung him out.
The Masked Wonder grabbed $2,100 after SOS: Extremely Tired Teacher threw him into his manager at ringside.
The Bulkamaniac earned $2,200 in imaginary money when SOS: The Uninvited House Guest tossed him out.
Drake Overtone was awarded $2,300 when he was thrown onto the apron by Chris "Puma" Stark.
Walter McShnerd nabbed $2,400 after he was thrown out of the ring by Morris Mack.
Lance Wordsworth won an imaginary $2,500 after Chris "Puma" Stark and Brady Thomas threw him onto the steps.
Brady Thomas and Champanzee received $2,600 and $2,700, respectively, when both got tossed out by Wyatt Goldstein and SOS: Extremely Tired Teacher.
Zack Majik won $2,800 when SOS: Dr. D. Dogbreath threw him into some chairs at ringside.
Chris "Puma" Stark was awarded $2,900 when he was catapulted out of the ring by Wyatt Goldstein.
Gregory Goliath was paid $3,000 after he was thrown over the top rope by "Mr. Speedy" Kurt Waite.
"Handsome" Hank Malloy gained $3,100 after Frank Tortilla and SOS: Enthusiastic Soccer Mom threw him outside the ring.
Frank Tortilla got $3,200 in imaginary money after he was thrown out by "Mr. Speedy" Kurt Waite.
Morris Mack pocketed $3,300 after being thrown out by Nate the Great.
"Mr. Speedy" Kurt Waite got $3,400 when Wyatt Goldstein and Nate the Great catapulted him over the top rope.
Vic Gruesome picked up an imaginary $3,500 when he got thrown into some fans at ringside by SOS: "Big Broseph" Seth Brosevic.
The Body Slammer gained $3,600 when SOS: The Uninvited House Guest hurled him onto the concrete floor.
Nate the Great earned $3,700 when he got catapulted out by SOS: Enthusiastic Soccer Mom.
Nelson Needlemeier collected $3,800 in imaginary earnings after he got thrown out by SOS: The Uninvited House Guest.
Wyatt Goldstein won an imaginary $3,900 after being thrown out by SOS: "Big Broseph" Seth Brosevic.
SOS: Dr. D. Dogbreath got $4,000 after he was flung out by SOS: Enthusiastic Soccer Mom and SOS: Extremely Tired Teacher.
SOS: The Uninvited House Guest was awarded $4,100 when SOS: Xsane threw him onto the concrete floor.
SOS: "Big Broseph" Seth Brosevic grabbed $4,200 after he got thrown onto the steps by SOS: Extremely Tired Teacher.
SOS: Xsane nabbed an imaginary $4,300 when SOS: Enthusiastic Soccer Mom threw him outside the ring.
SOS: Enthusiastic Soccer Mom gained $4,400 after SOS: Extremely Tired Teacher catapulted him out.
SOS: Extremely Tired Teacher won the battle royal and the $30,000 purse.

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