IWA REPORT
Vol. 24, No. 12 -- Dog Days 2019
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JOHNNY B SAYS

Enter your wrestler in our Specialty Championships tournament this year, and he or she will receive a star! And since each of the 20 champions wins an additional star (along with imaginary money and bragging rights), your wrestler could earn multiple stars from this one event! Please sign up for as many titles as you can afford, since all the money raised will go directly into manager Jim Ripka's medical fund.

The other major announcement this cycle comes to us from manager Michael Long. As you (should) know, players in both the Top 10 League with the best average strategy total and the World Champion's league have had the choice between paying our regular prices and taking advantage of our 2-matches-for-$1 special price. The problem Michael brought to our attention was that the 2-for-$1 pricing was a poor option for managers who wanted to spend more on matches. That's because we created the special price a long, long time ago, when our regular match prices were higher than they are today -- how many companies can make that claim?

Michael's solution was to reward every manager in those two leagues with 10 free matches. That gives everyone even more matches than they received under the 2-for-$1 price, and doesn't penalize anyone. His suggestion should also be less confusing than the old plan, especially when it comes to leagues like current winner the Lone Wolf League, which already features special pricing due to its unique nature.

As with the discontinued 2-for-$1 deal, your 10 free matches must all be used in the league during that one cycle, and you must spend at least $5 on matches (free matches can only be used in addition to matches you pay for, and $5 is our standard minimum).

Let's hear it for Michael, who's provided yet another improvement to the game!

 

HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES -- engraved plaque

Tiffany Allen of Massachusetts

SHS: Bitter Cold Becky (BRL) 1,309-274-71, $3,377,800 *7

Joshua Haight of Wisconsin

EDGE: Brutal Mitchell (AOL) 1,054-243-49, $1,978,300 *49
EDGE: Enforcer Shane Douglas (AOL) 1,154-446-98, $3,165,800 *86
EDGE: Excellence (AOL) 1,395-291-59, $2,164,000 *52
EDGE: Furious Tom Savage (AOL) 1,210-345-98, $4,148,300 *76
EDGE: Hammer (AOL) 942-374-96, $2,844,300 *70
EDGE: Hotshot Tommy Bullrope (AOL) 147-278-71, $1,761,300 *55
EDGE: Jake Bart (EHL) 1,002-156-39, $1,295,700 *39
EDGE: The Legendary Assassin (EHL) 223-198-32, $960,900 *50
EDGE: Loose Cannon (AOL) 657-391-79, $2,709,300 *76
EDGE: The Silly Doctor (EHL) 238-162-30, $913,900 *50
EDGE: Whiplash (EHL) 134-128-21, $453,800 *51

Jake Joyce of Illinois

TBABIT/SHEPHERD: Winston Smith, Jr. (CWL) 1,024-215-33, $1,970,300 *18
"I have finished what I set out to do when I started my career here in the Imaginary Wrestling Association. Years ago, my Father lost the war against Big Brother. It has been my life's goal to avenge his failure, and vanquish The People Who Secretly Control Us -- primordial DOGS with an unquenchable thirst for blood and misery -- back to the cesspool where they originally crawled from. I have successfully pulled the sheepskin away from the eyes of this World's sheeple, and I can now ascend to immortality within the walls of the IWA Hall of Fame. I thank nobody. I did all of this myself. Anyone who feels that THEY have assisted me in my journey is a liar, and a Big Brother sycophant. All that you believe is false, and reality is a lie."

 

WORLD, U.S., KING OF THE RING

World Champion

VIRUS/AI: Elyk (WWL)
Kyle Queen of Texas; 501; $250,000 + 75 free matches or a real wrestling belt & 25 free matches, 10 free matches for WWL managers next cycle

"I'm not a guy known for long speeches, so I'll keep this short. I am so proud to bring the World title to the WWL, arguably the toughest league in the IWA. Only the top managers are even invited (I'm not sure how I got an invite). I want to say 'thank you' to my VIRUS brothers; they all had my back, even when I went through a stretch where I couldn't even win a regional. And I want to thank you, Brad... for letting me vent, listening to my ideas, and being a heck of a friend."

U.S. Champion

SOS: Jade Champ Mike Cook (SVL)
Michael Cook of Kentucky; 501; $100,000 + a large plaque or 25 free matches; edged EDGE: "Insane" Shane Hogg (NAL), TBABIT/SHEPHERD: Winston Smith, Jr. (CWL)

King of the Ring

ArGr: Ariana's BFF Victoria Monet (MUL)
Matt Yunick of New York; $50,000 + a large plaque or 25 free matches; 273 KotR total; edged IMT: "The Gladiator" Kurt Angle (SWL); hold positions were 2, 3, 7, 8, 9, 11, 12, 15; battle royal hold positions were 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 13, 14

 

SPECIALTY TITLES -- $25,000 + 10 free matches

American Champion

SOS: The Innovator of Violins (NSL)
Derek Tuttle of Florida; 501

Asiatic Champion

EDGE/CHOSEN: Moon Warrior (NDL)
Jeff Annable of Canada; 500

Elite Champion

SOS: "The LeJeNd" Haz Bro (LWL)
Michael Cook of Kentucky; 500; 60 free matches or a real wrestling belt & 10 free matches; edged TBABIT: Kennedy Cage (IWL), EDGE: Daddy (ASL), Fubar Snafu (CWL)

Hardcore Champion

SOS: Finding Nena (PKL)
Michael Cook; 501

Metropolitan Champion

Haz Bro
25 free matches; edged Kennedy Cage, Fubar Snafu

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS -- $50,000 + 25 free matches

Iron Federation Champion

EDGE: The Smiling Lunatic (MEL)
Brad Norman of North Carolina; 499

Steel Federation Champion

EDGE: J-J-J-J-Joe (WDL)
Caleb Crawdad of Florida; edged EDGE: Dungaree Crabbe (HAL), previous champion BUCS: Chad Chad (LPL), ORDER: "The Monster of Mayhem" Donny Bloodstone (AWL)

Gold Federation Champion

TBABIT: Kennedy Cage (IWL)
Seth Brubaker of Ohio; 500; edged VIRUS: Dengue Fever (MML), IMT: Twisted Youth (DZL), EDGE/CHOSEN: Moon Warrior (NDL), VIRUS/AI: RIOT (SVL), EDGE: Daddy (ASL), Fubar Snafu (CWL)

Diamond Federation Champion

VIRUS/AI: Elyk (WWL)
Kyle Queen of Texas; 501; edged SOS: "The Tower" Gerard Pique (PGL), SOS: The Innovator of Violins (NSL)

Bronze Federation Champion

IMT: He-Mann (SWL)
Solomon Shaw of Maine; 499; edged SOS: Senor Citizen (HSL)

Jade Federation Champion

SOS: Finding Nena (PKL)
Michael Cook of Kentucky; 501

 

NATIONAL, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS -- $25,000

National Champion

LW: Toxic (CWL)
David Lewis of New York; 501; a large plaque or 25 free matches; Dixie region; edged VIRUS/FMY: "Diamond" Dave Venom (YJL), SOS: El Cazador (CZL)

Atlantic Champion

Bill "The Bruiser" Bagwell (NWL)
Chad Robertson of Washington; 500

Central Champion

LW: Hazard (CWL)
David Lewis; 501

Eastern Champion

VIRUS: Obama (MML)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; 501

Mountain Champion

EDGE: Surgeon General of Beverly Hills (WEL)
Andrew Konik of Michigan; 501

Northern Champion

SOS: The Onslaught Tim Haught (BBL)
Derek Tuttle of Florida; 500; edged EDGE: "The Hanging Judge" Ezekiel Parker (WTL), VIRUS: Sweden House (MML)

Pacific Champion

SOS: Bob Wehadababyitsaboy (TGL)
"The Smooth One" Jeff Manning of Ohio; 500

Prairie Champion

EDGE: Kreon (TGL)
Andrew Konik; 500

Southern Champion

IMT: Prehistoric Beast (SWL)
Solomon Shaw of Maine; 501

Western Champion

EDGE/CHOSEN: Mr. Blonde (CZL)
Jeff Annable of Canada; 501

 

LADIES' TITLES

Ladies' World Champion

VIRUS/VD: Mooore "Cushion for the Pushin'" (MDL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; manager held title 3 cycles in a row; 500; $50,000 + a plaque or 15 free matches

Ladies' U.S. Champion

EDGE: Worst Canadian Mooserider Letterkenny 7th (NML)
Caleb Crawdad of Florida; 501; $25,000

Queen of the Ring

FLOW: Sentinel (LLL)
Wade Reinhard of Pennsylvania; 499; 272 QotR total

Ladies' National Champion

VIRUS/VD: Mrs. Douchea (MDL)
Frank Jay Belcher III; 501

Ladies' Tag-team Champions

SOS: Haylay & Chantelle (NML)
Robbie "Blood" Pawelek of Texas; 516; edged VIRUS/VD: Polymorphic & Code Red (FFL), VIRUS/VD: Arianna Piranha & Juicy Lucy (LLL)

Ladies' U.S. Tag-team Champions

VIRUS/VD: Tammy Toe Jam & Annie Fannie (LLL)
Frank Jay Belcher III; 516

World Six-woman Champions

VIRUS/VD: Mrs. Banul, Mrs. Congeniality, Daddy's Girl (MDL)
Frank Jay Belcher III; 521

U.S. Six-woman Champions

VIRUS/VD: Multipartite, Worms, Marburg (FFL)
Frank Jay Belcher III; manager retained titles; 521; edged VIRUS/VD: Mrs. Puff, Sandy Cheeks, Mrs. Double Deedra (MDL)

 

TAG-TEAM TITLES

World Tag-team Champions

SOS: "Mr. Wonderful" R.A. Rude & VIRUS: Buster Stonewall (LWL)
Randall Angel from the Republic of Texas & Rick Angel of Kansas; $50,000 + 15 free matches

Top Contenders

2. IMT/FRM-16/6FD: Helmo & Nordic Lord Colossus (YJL)

3. EDGE: Mark Mywards & David Lee Gruesome (AEL)
H25/EDGE: Richard Gold A.K.A. HELLMAKER & EDGE: Checkers (IGL)
SOS: Chuga & Bones McCrackin' (NAL)
SOS: Luchador Blood #9 & 1/3 of a strat (SVL)

7. SOS: El Reyna & ADX Florence Inmate (JDL)
VIRUS/Luniz: Lightning Tiger & Dragon King (WWL)

9. IMT: Godlike Johnny Phoenix & The Basket Case Sid Skyscraper (GWL)
ARMY/IMT: "Mack Daddy of Violence" Rodney Pierce & "Silencer" Eddie Camden (CZL)

11. DOD/CC: Catfish Louie & Willy (CWL)

12. SOS: Infinito Mascaras & Lucha DJ (TGL)
SOS: Z Gangsta & Zack Attack (WEL)

14. FOE: Buford Blackwood & Hugh Mungus (GNL)
ranked #10 last time; last of the teams with 516

U.S. Tag-team Champions

EDGE: Odin & Dormammu (HSL)
Jeff Annable of Canada; share of $25,000

SOS: El Matador & El Pistolero (NAL)
Robbie "Blood" Pawelek of Texas; 516; edged EDGE/CHOSEN: Mr. Brown & EDGE: Glass City Assassin Chaos (CZL), ME: Johnny "The Wrench" Morello & Vincent Torrio (CWL), EDGE: Daryl the Barrel Dalrymple & Reginald Gordlord (TGL)

 

SIX-MAN TITLES

World Six-man Champions

EDGE: Chad Derboxx, Travis T, Hal O'Pena-Bidness (LBL)
Caleb Crawdad of Florida; manager held titles 3 cycles in a row; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

IMT/ARMY: Morphsuit Men #4, #7, #10.5 (DXL)
Jeff Chambers of Iowa; manager retained titles

SOS: Western Champ Mike Cook, IWA Savior #5, Luchador Blood #13 (SVL)
Michael Cook of Kentucky, Randall Angel, Robbie "Blood" Pawelek, both of Texas

SOS/LC: Rab Fash, Hester, Fester (CWL)
Robbie Pawelek

MWC: Minnesota Wrecking Crew IV, VIII, IX (NFL)
Steven M. Shotliff of Minnesota

VIRUS/Luniz: Squatting Johnson, VIRUS: Umbrella Corps, House of the Dead (NAL)
Mitchell Johnson (Johnson) & Frank Jay Belcher III, both of Michigan

Top Contenders

7. SOS: Buttersworth Henchmen I, II, III (JDL)
EDGE: Extreme Waffle House Waitresses Bertha, LuAnn, Eunice (QPL)
ARMY/IMT: Hootie's Blowfish Mikaya, Bodyguards Bareback, Rawdog (CZL)

10. ARMY/IMT: "Lone Drifter" Jackson Kutler, "Voice of Dissent" Tyrone Duncan, "Queen of Extreme" Keisha Watts (AAL)

11. VIRUS: Nama Nama Noomie, Hepatitis, Ebola (MML)

12. EDGE/ROT: Chef Braiser Ramon, EDGE: Brackish Bruiser Bedlam, Bumpin' Bubba Ugly (EHL)
last of the teams with 521

U.S. Six-man Champions

EDGE: Bradley, Benjermin Logan, Big Tender Zaxby Chanticleer (SWL)
Caleb Crawdad & Jake Duvall of North Carolina (Chanticleer); managers held titles 3 cycles in a row; share of $25,000

VIRUS/Luniz: Little Big Horn, Crazy Horse Johnson, Dances with Pits MJ (NAL)
Mitchell Johnson; 521; edged ARMY/IMT: Ironhorse, "Deathmatch Siren" Shanay Doakes, "Tattooed Deathmatch King" Lex Eames (CZL), SOS: San Quentin Inmate, The Geek, Babyface Warlord (JDL), ARMY/IMT: "Hardcore Legend" Lance Severance, Stitches O'Malley, Botch Armstrong (AAL)

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES

1. NWL (1,495 matches) 464.646

2. BRL (1,259 matches) 493.532

3. UWL (1,247 matches) 491.524

4. LWL (923 matches) 494.000
highest average strategy total (active wrestlers only); 10 free matches for managers next cycle

5. CWL (684 matches) 493.257

6. IWL (668 matches) 488.429

7. IGL (661 matches) 492.462

8. RWL (599 matches) 490.925

9. YJL (545 matches) 493.135

10. LNL (526 matches) 481.231

 

TOP 20 VICTORIES -- active wrestlers only

1. VIRUS/RWS: Mike Drake (HWL) 12,399-1,366-325

2. Kaptain Kryptonite (NBL) 10,913-1,886-544

3. VIRUS: Cpl. Punishment (LBL) 10,429-621-153

4. IMT/LPPF/DOD: Sir Gunther Kinderwacht (ASL) 9,511-714-229

5. Death Warrant (CWL) 7,688-673-138

6. Dan the Man (HSL) 7,378-1,326-256

7. SHS: "Money-Driven" Mike Sebastian (BRL) 7,278-1,615-366

8. IMT/LPPF: Wonderful Wally Brown (GRL) 7,061-531-213

9. DFI: American Freedom Fighter E.J. (SHL) 7,050-1,096-291

10. LPPF/T-SANITY: Medieval Tymes (NAL) 6,693-952-172

11. Masked Icon (XPL) 6,203-1,511-305

12. NGAA: Rydia Stormer (MDL) 6,013-1,755-331

13. VIRUS/RWS: Mike Drake (CSL) 5,439-904-142

14. IMT/LPPF/DOD: Sinister Steve Stryker (ASL) 5,210-493-191

15. MWC: Pete the Geek (IGL) 5,110-1,044-166

16. NGAA: Hawkeye Science (HLL) 5,084-1,279-202

17. MC: Merlin (STL) 4,975-1,727-139

18. RIZE: Vitamin Z (AAL) 4,919-633-122

19. MC: White Tiger Mask (STL) 4,805-2,160-70

20. Cujo (BRL) 4,595-1,178-280

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

Iron Federation

Black Ops, Center Stage, Extreme Existence, Generation Next, Hardcore Wrestling, Heroes and Legends, Main Event, New Japan, Quantum Pro, Unknown Wrestler, Vixens United, Xtreme Poison, Yellow Jacket

Steel Federation

American Wrestling, Celebrities Only, Hired Assassin, Intense Impact, Louisiana Purchase, Louisiana Swamp, Mobsters' Underground, New Blood, Old School, Vicious Valkyries, Wild Panthers, World Domination

Gold Federation

All Star, Battle Royal, Blood Bath, Continental Wrestling, Danger Zone, Global Wrestling, Independent Wrestling, Knight's Honor, Masked Mayhem, Mystic Diva, New Wave, Ninja Dojo, Snake Venom, Western Trails

Diamond Federation

Action Packed, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Flying Aces, Lethal Brawling, Native Sensation, Night Falcon, No Man's, Non-stop Action, Saber Tooth, Wicked Warz, Xtreme Wrestling

Bronze Federation

American Extreme, American Outlaw, Brass Knuckles, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, High Rollers, Hot Shots, Iron Glove, Living Nightmare, Revolution Wrestling, Rogue Elephant, Strong Style Wrestling, United Nations

Jade Federation

Atomic Age, Combat Zone, Deluxe Wrestling, Jade Dragon, Lone Wolf, Lovely Ladies, Psychotic Killer, Super Hero, True Grit, Wrestlers Elite, Zig Zag

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