IWA REPORT
Vol. 22, No. 13 -- Fall 2017
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2017 SPECIALTY CHAMPIONSHIPS

Each of the 20 titleholders below received $100,000 in imaginary earnings! Second place finishers were given $25,000 for their efforts, and third place was worth $10,000. Our thanks to everyone who made them work so hard!

 

Biker Chain

KDSN/AXIS: Housewife Kourtney Kardashian (NBL)
Matt Yunick of New York

VIRUS: Dread (BBL)
Randall Angel of Louisiana

ARMY/IMT: "Public Enemy" Roderick Hughes (LWL)
Donald Henry of Illinois

Buried Alive

Patient Y (LNL)
Seth Brubaker of Ohio

"Classy" Oldrich Kemeny (LWL)
Jason Clark of Minnesota

The Middle Knight (BRL)
James Delacroix of Tennessee

Casket

SHS: Bitter Cold Becky (BRL)
Michael Patuleia of Massachusetts

VIRUS: Dr. Doom (XPL)
Randall Angel

Marcus "The Monster" Monroe (IWL)
Seth Brubaker

Circle of Fear

VIRUS/CTI: Shawn Vicious (GRL)
Mitchell Morrissey of Missouri

VIRUS: "Mr. Wonderful" R.A. Rude (LWL)
Randall Angel

Dread

First Blood

RIZE: Brendan "3-Card" Monty (XPL)
Zach Harper of Oregon

Bitter Cold Becky

KDSN: Kim's Sports Car -- Porsche (NDL)
Matt Yunick

Hair vs. Hair

MC: Merlin (AOL)
Blake Morgan

Arsenal (APL)
Kenneth Plasse of Alabama

Roderick Hughes

Hangman's Horror

The Middle Knight

DOD: Catfish Rob (LNL)
Robert J. Ratliff of Virginia

Dan the Man (HSL)
Dan Hicks of Texas

Hardcore

R.A. Rude

Arizona Sheriff #1 (APL)
Mark Hlavin of Ohio

YETI: The Thing (SHL)
Calvin Harrell of Tennessee

Hell in a Cell

Lock Down (NWL)
Jerald Horton of Oregon

"Mr. Hardcore" Thumbtack Jack (AWL)
Curtis Roberts of Colorado

Brendan Monty

I Quit

Jester (WDL)
Blake Morgan and Gary Cassibry, Sr., both of Mississippi

VIRUS: Keith "The Devil" Voss (LWL)
Keith D. Voss of Austria

Merlin

Inferno

Brendan Monty

Caspian Hellbroth (MML)
Shawn McAbee of Tennessee

KDSN: Businesswoman Kim Kardashian (EHL)
Matt Yunick

Iron Man

The Misfits: Chuckles the Clown (ECL)
Colin Morton of New York

LB: Robert Van Damage (ASL)
Frank Snow of Tennessee

KDSN: Kris's Favorite Daughter Kim K. (LLL)
Matt Yunick

Last Man Standing

The Misfits: Flapjack the Rodeo Clown (ECL)
Colin Morton

Merlin

VIRUS/CTI: Skyblade the Tiger King (ECL)
Mitchell Morrissey

Lumberjack

BWE: Cujo (GRL)
Curtis Roberts

Arsenal

Kaptain Kryptonite (NBL)
Jimmy Dabbs of North Carolina

Martial Arts

Metallic Morphin (WDL)
Blake Morgan and Gary Cassibry, Sr.

VIRUS: Riot (BBL)
Randall Angel

Kaptain Kryptonite

Parking Lot Brawl

Bitter Cold Becky

Dr. Doom

The 9th Wonder of the World CocoLoco (NWL)
Cohen King of Florida

Scaffold

R.A. Rude

IMT/LPPF: King Kolossus (JDL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi

Sherri Mortel (NWL)
Frank Bucklew of Pennsylvania

Singapore Cane

SHS: Punk Rock Mike (BRL)
Michael Patuleia

BURN: Kaos Knight (WDL)
John Davis of Tennessee

LB: Saxe Gotha (BRL)
Frank Snow

Tables, Ladders, and Chairs

Kennedy Cage (IWL)
Seth Brubaker

Arsenal

Merlin

Texas Bullrope

Miss Chimera Rue (RWL)
Shawn McAbee

YETI: Wonder Woman (SHL)
Calvin Harrell

Hazard (CWL)
David Lewis of New York

 

JOHNNY B SAYS

Congratulations to all the winners of this year's Specialty Championships! They faced some fierce competition for those titles, and walked away victorious. But don't go thinking we're done with our big tournaments for the year...

You won't want to miss Imagimania XXXII next cycle, where someone will win the contract of a wrestler already qualified for Hall of Fame entry! That's twist #1. Twist #2? He's an active wrestler, yet we're taking him away from his manager! And to make up for that, we bring you twist #3: we're donating 100% of the proceeds to the Autism Society of America -- there, all better. We hope you'll join us!

 

HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES -- engraved plaque

Calvin Harrell of Tennessee

YETI: Superman (SHL) 1,002-201-30, $1,832,800 *15
Entering the IWA Hall of Fame for the Man of Tomorrow has been a labor of Truth, Justice, and the American Way of life. Having won his fair share of SHL titles, the hero of Metropolis retires having won the 2017 Illinois State Championship. He is a longtime member of the dynamic stable known as YETI. The fans, as well as the entire SHL, will miss him and all that he has done to support and encourage the hero in all IWA'ers.

 

WORLD, U.S., KING OF THE RING

World Champion

IMT: Hans Gruber (NFL)
Anthony Fazio from Parts Unknown; 501; $300,000 + 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt & 50 free matches

We watch as Anthony Fazio accepts his World title in the ring in the middle of the IWA Arena.

"I stand here tonight, before the fans and my friends, as I said I would be: World Champion. In the tradition of The Smoking Pope; in the tradition of The Homeless Bum; of The Selfish One; of Super Dave; of The Duke, the man who will never die; and of The Game. From the Mr. Superstars, to the Masterminds... to everyone else... I accept this heavyweight title... Wait a second... wait a second, I'm The Hitman, I'm The Immortal himself... this is it tonight, Don... and the Big MoFo... and they can all lick my boots!"

Fazio tosses the 1980s-looking title belt to the ground.

"Because! ... I am not the man who accepts the torch to be handed down to me from a title lineage that twice was systematically tainted by unworthy Luchas. Anthony Fazio is the man who ignites the new flame of the sport of imaginary wrestling. Tonight, before the fans and Johnny B as witnesses, I declare myself IWA World Champion of the new age!"

A ringside assistant hands Fazio a new, modern-looking belt.

"We have set out to change the face of imaginary wrestling. So, tonight, let the new era begin! The era of the sport of imaginary wrestling. The era of Anthony Fazio. The era of the IMT."

Fazio drops the mic, lifts the belt above his head, and flexes before the fans as the cameras fade to black.

U.S. Champion

VIRUS/CTI: Solomon Crowe (AAL)
Michael Drake of New Jersey; 501; $60,000 + a plaque or 25 free matches; edged VIRUS: "Mr. Wonderful" R.A. Rude (LWL)

King of the Ring

Tony Garea (TDL)
"The Game" from Parts Unknown; 500; a plaque or 25 free matches; 278 KotR total; hold positions were 2, 3, 4, 6, 10, 11, 12, 13; battle royal hold positions were 1, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9, 14, 15

 

SPECIALTY TITLES -- $25,000 + 10 free matches

American Champion

VIRUS/CTI: Quinn Guzzy (AAL)
Michael Drake of New Jersey; 501

Asiatic Champion

IMT/ARMY: Morphsuit Man #9 (DXL)
Jeff Chambers of Iowa; 501

Hardcore Champion

ARMY/IMT: "Pimp Daddy" Hootie Jones (CZL)
Donald Henry of Illinois; 501; edged Buckwheat (TDL)

Metropolitan Champion

Drunken Fisherman (NWL)
Jake Joyce of Illinois; 500; 10 free matches

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS -- $40,000 + 25 free matches

Iron Federation Champion

KDSN: Alcoholic Khloe Kardashian (HLL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 501

Steel Federation Champion

EDGE/H25: RDY2PRTY (KKL)
Sully "The Sledgehammer" Sullivan of Canada; 501

Gold Federation Champion

Buckwheat (TDL)
"The Game" from Parts Unknown; manager retained title; 501; edged VIRUS: The President (BBL)

Diamond Federation Champion

IMT: Hans Gruber (NFL)
Anthony Fazio from Parts Unknown; 501

Bronze Federation Champion

EDGE: Mr. Xtreme (IGL)
Joshua Haight of Wisconsin; 499

Jade Federation Champion

VIRUS/CTI: Quinn Guzzy (AAL)
Michael Drake of New Jersey; 501; edged IMT/ARMY: Morphsuit Man #9 (DXL), VIRUS/CTI: Bacteria (WEL), ARMY/IMT: "Pimp Daddy" Hootie Jones (CZL)

 

NATIONAL, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS -- $20,000

National Champion

VIRUS/CTI: Drake Danger (DXL)
Atlantic region; edged The Wrestler with No Name (NWL)
VIRUS/CTI: Brain Buster Bane (DXL)
Michael Drake of New Jersey; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; Mountain region

Central Champion

The Perennial Scrub (NDL)
"The Game" from Parts Unknown; 501

Dixie Champion

EDGE/H25: Southern Champ Mike Cook (APL)
Michael Cook of Kentucky; 501

Eastern Champion

EDGE/H25: IWA Rookie Mike Cook (APL)
Michael Cook; 500; edged Satanic Santa Claus (NDL)

Northern Champion

VIRUS: "Mr. Theatric" Sergio Busquets (NSL)
Randall Angel of Louisiana; 499; edged KDSN: Kim's 2nd Biggest Fan (APL)

Pacific Champion

EDGE: Ronald McDonald Henry (ECL)
Eugene Quintana of California; 501

Prairie Champion

IMT: Sgt. Marcus Fenix (KHL)
Anthony Fazio from Parts Unknown; 501; edged IMT: "WNYX" Joe Garrelli (IIL)

Southern Champion

Hired Gun #6 (MUL)
"The Game"; 500

Western Champion

IMT: Flapjack Frankie (CZL)
Glenn Mazura of Virginia; 500

 

LADIES' TITLES

Ladies' World Champion

VIRUS/CTI: Steve Corino (MDL)
Michael Drake of New Jersey; $40,000 + a plaque or 15 free matches; edged VIRUS/ICP: Hacker (FFL)

Ladies' U.S. Champion

IMT/ARMY: Freya the Walker (LLL)
Jeff Chambers of Iowa; $20,000

Queen of the Ring

KDSN: Kris's Friend Nicole Brown (R.I.P.) (VVL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 500; 271 QotR total

Ladies' National Champion

KDSN: Dash Employee Malika Hagg (VVL)
Matt Yunick; manager held title 3 cycles in a row; 501

Ladies' Tag-team Champions

VIRUS/ICP: Multipartite & Polymorphic (FFL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; 516; edged VIRUS/CTI: Daddy's Girl & Pearl Krabs (MDL)

Ladies' U.S. Tag-team Champions

KDSN: Kim's BFF Nicole Richie & Former Friend Paris Hilton (MDL)
Matt Yunick

World Six-woman Champions

IMT: Knight of the Queensguard #2, IMT/LPPF: Misfit Divas #9, #12 (FFL)
Anthony Fazio from Parts Unknown, Michael Eaves of Mississippi, Keith A. Maple of Ohio; 521

U.S. Six-woman Champions

KDSN: North's Nannies #1, #2, #3 (MDL)
Matt Yunick; 521; edged VIRUS/ICP: MERS, GvHD, SFTS (FFL)

 

TAG-TEAM TITLES

World Tag-team Champions

EDGE: A Non-Game & Ashy Larry (TTL)
Eugene Quintana of California; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

VIRUS/CTI: Bladder Infection & VIRUS: "Mr. Hu$tle" M.J. (XWL)
Frank Jay Belcher III & Mitchell Johnson, both of Michigan

Top Contenders

3. IMT/ARMY: The Nine-Fingered Man & EDGE: Tomcat Glue Boards (AOL)

4. IMT/LPPF: BOTB Tag-team Reps. #1 & #2 (NAL)
ranked #4 last time

5. VIRUS/CTI: Leprosy & VIRUS: The Great Khan (XPL)

6. KDSN: Kardashian Fan Matt Y. & #1 Grandfather Bruce Jenner (RCL)

7. VIRUS/CTI: Umbrella Corps & Z-Nation (NFL)
ranked #9 last time, #16 before that

8. ARMY/IMT: Mexican Mawler & IMT/LPPF: Jury (BRL)
missed U.S. titles by point flow last time
IMT: The Trendsetter A.J. Slaughterhouse & The Flame Warrior (KHL)

10. DPG: Beast & Bones (MML)
ranked #2 last time, #14 before that

11. IMT/LPPF: Lamar & IMT/BLOOD: Sheik Achmed Abdul Juan Tiki Tiki (GRL)

12. Wild Card Garrett Shadowstar & The Tyrant David Hammerhead (CWL)
last of the teams with 516

U.S. Tag-team Champions

EDGE: Robin Banks & Hannah Bull (TTL)
Eugene Quintana; manager held titles 5 cycles in a row; share of $20,000

IMT: Quick Pin Johnny Gin & Luchador Blood #8 (MML)
Anthony Fazio from Parts Unknown & Robbie "Blood" Pawelek of Chicago, Illinois; Fazio retained titles; 516; edged VIRUS/CTI: Staph Infection & VIRUS: Mr. M.J. "The Bingo Slayer" (XWL), VIRUS/CTI: Malaria & VIRUS: Mr. Fuji (XPL), IMT: Faz Hard: Flood with a Vengeance & Live Fazzy or Flood Hard (KHL)

 

SIX-MAN TITLES

World Six-man Champions

EDGE: Cochise, IMT/ARMY: Masked Wrestler #5, Furry Manderson (QPL)
Eugene Quintana of California, Jerry Anderson of Michigan, Jeff Chambers of Iowa; Chambers held titles 9 cycles in a row, Anderson 7 in a row, Quintana 6 in a row; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

EDGE: Droid X7, EDGE/CHOSEN: The Prodigy, TML Brown (HLL)
Eugene Quintana, Rich Reilly of New Jersey, Jeff Annable of Canada

IMT: Mr. 6 Holds in a Row, Long John Silver, ARMY/IMT: Scorched Earth Messiah (MEL)
Robbie "Blood" Pawelek of Chicago, Illinois, Anthony Fazio from Parts Unknown, Donald Henry of Illinois; Fazio held titles 3 cycles in a row, Henry & Pawelek retained titles

TM: Nicholas "The Flood" Rysen, IMT/LPPF: Aggressive Denial, Xtreme Assassin #2 (XPL)
Cevon Whitehead of North Carolina, Michael Eaves of Mississippi, Keith A. Maple of Ohio; Maple retained titles

IMT: Awesome Angle Player, Enjoy Your Ignorance, Mister Fight from America (CSL)
Kevin Elrod of Ohio

KDSN: Kim's Warm, Comfy, Cozy Fur Coats (HWL)
Matt Yunick of New York; manager held titles 5 cycles in a row

VIRUS/CTI: Animal Bite Infection, VIRUS: M.J. "The Treacherous One," "The Poker" M.J. (XWL)
Frank Jay Belcher III (Infection) & Mitchell Johnson, both of Michigan

Top Contenders

8. IMT/LPPF: BOTB Six-man Reps. #1, #2, #3 (NAL)
previous champions

9. VIRUS/CTI: Resident Evil, Measles, Warcraft (NFL)
last of the teams with 521

10. EDGE/CHOSEN: A.C., J.C., K.C. Steel (MML)

U.S. Six-man Champions

EDGE: Cowboy, IMT/ARMY: Masked Wrestler #4, Ickis (QPL)
Eugene Quintana, Jerry Anderson, Jeff Chambers; Chambers held titles 7 cycles in a row, Quintana 6 in a row, Anderson 5 in a row; share of $20,000

EDGE: Smooth Criminals #09, #13, EDGE/CHOSEN: Uncool Cop #07 (IML)
Eugene Quintana & Rich Reilly (Cop)

IMT: Moldy Pistachio, Potatoroonie, ARMY/IMT: "Bulletproof" Gus Stockton (MEL)
Robbie Pawelek, Anthony Fazio, Donald Henry; Henry retained titles

KDSN: Drama Queens Khloe, Kourtney, Kimberly Kardashian (AOL)
Matt Yunick; manager held titles 5 cycles in a row

VIRUS: Little Kuntry M.J., VIRUS/CTI: Skin, Yeast Infections (XWL)
Mitchell Johnson (M.J.) & Frank Jay Belcher III; 521; edged KDSN: Curious Saint, Nori West, #1 Grandmother Kris Jenner (RCL), IMT/ARMY: Mavis, IMT/LPPF: Mike Eaves, Misfit Puppet #8 (NAL)

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES

1. BRL (1,250 matches) 492.609

2. LWL (972 matches) 493.138

3. MML (732 matches) 494.246
won the two matches for $1 cycle for having the highest average strategy total (counting only active wrestlers)

4. IWL (640 matches) 493.140

5. NWL (554 matches) 456.400

6. MUL (430 matches) 491.093

7. CWL (413 matches) 493.200

8. NSL (408 matches) 493.485

9. EEL (402 matches) 492.042
KHL (402 matches) 488.798

 

TOP 20 VICTORIES -- active wrestlers only

1. Arsenal (APL) 16,233-2,091-557

2. VIRUS/CTI: Mike Drake (HWL) 10,914-1,150-295

3. VIRUS: Cpl. Punishment (LBL) 9,338-547-139

4. Kaptain Kryptonite (NBL) 8,809-1,729-512

5. IMT/BLOOD: Sir Gunther Kinderwacht (BRL) 8,517-760-211

6. IMT/LPPF: Medieval Tymes (XPL) 6,606-883-163

7. Death Warrant (CWL) 6,592-571-120

8. SITH: Darth Carnage (NSL) 6,549-1,039-175

9. SITH: Darth Thanatos (NSL) 6,502-1,033-186

10. SITH: Darth Avatar (NSL) 6,426-995-192

11. SITH: Darth Ravage (NSL) 6,397-1,004-187

12. SITH: Darth Bedlam (NSL) 6,367-1,106-179

13. DFI: American Freedom Fighter E.J. (SHL) 6,326-1,009-277

14. IMT/BLOOD: Wonderful Wally Brown (GRL) 6,143-584-206

15. "Mr. Everything" Kirk Lockran (AWL) 5,966-1,404-288

16. Dan the Man (HSL) 5,861-1,019-179

17. NGAA: Rydia Stormer (MDL) 5,409-1,622-306

18. EDGE: Demon (BBL) 5,324-2,402-110

19. SHS: "Money Driven" Mike Sebastian (BRL) 5,104-985-243

20. MWC: Pete the Geek (IGL) 5,038-964-155

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

Iron Federation

Center Stage, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Heroes and Legends, Iron Man, Main Event, Quick Pin, Xtreme Poison

Steel Federation

American Wrestling, Classic Championship Wrestling, Intense Impact, King of Kings, Louisiana Swamp, Man Up, New Blood, Old School, Vicious Valkyries, World Domination

Gold Federation

All Star, Battle Royal, Blood Bath, Continental Wrestling, Global Wrestling, Independent Wrestling, Knight's Honor, Mexican Mayhem, Mystic Diva, National Wrestling, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death, Triple Threat

Diamond Federation

Action Packed, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Lethal Brawling, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling

Bronze Federation

American Extreme, American Outlaw, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hardcore Superstars, Iron Glove, Living Nightmare, Revolution Wrestling, Strong Style Wrestling, United Nations

Jade Federation

Atomic Age, Combat Zone, Deluxe Wrestling, Jade Dragon, Lone Wolf, Lovely Ladies, Psychotic Killer, Super Hero, True Grit, Wrestlers Elite

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