IWA REPORT
Vol. 22, No. 10 -- Summer 2017
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2017 STATE WRESTLING CHAMPIONS

Each of the wrestlers shown below received a well-deserved $100,000 in imaginary earnings! We offer our congratulations to their managers, and our thanks to everyone who participated this year.

 

Alabama

Dan the Man (HSL)
Dan Hicks of Texas

Alaska

Dan the Man

Arizona

IMT: Elrod the Wall Builder (NDL)
Kevin Elrod of Ohio

Arkansas

Kaptain Kryptonite (NBL)
Jimmy Dabbs of North Carolina

California

HOP: The Patriot (ASL)
Randy Skaggs of Michigan

Colorado

MC: Merlin (AOL)
Blake Morgan

Connecticut

EDGE/CHOSEN: Peter Dragon (PKL)
Martin Markos of Michigan

Delaware

Kaptain Kryptonite

Florida

TBZ: Silver Falcon (OSL)
Brick D. Hinkley of Canada

Georgia

DOD: Tb Vixen Red (TTL)
Robert J. Ratliff of Virginia

Hawaii

Kaptain Kryptonite

Idaho

DOD: Cheerleader Sassy Red (BRL)
Robert J. Ratliff

Illinois

YETI: Superman (SHL)
Calvin Harrell of Tennessee

Indiana

The Patriot

Iowa

Kaptain Kryptonite

Kansas

VIRUS/MM: Skyblade the Tiger King (ECL)
Mitchell Morrissey of Missouri

Kentucky

VIRUS: Keith "The Devil" Voss (LWL)
Keith D. Voss of Austria

Louisiana

Dan the Man

Maine

Kaptain Kryptonite

Maryland

"Genetic Freak" Robbie Rage (LWL)
"Phenomenal" Patrick Styles of Arizona

Massachusetts

Robbie Rage

Michigan

Keith Voss

Minnesota

KDSN: Krazy Kanye West (AEL)
Matt Yunick of New York

Mississippi

Robbie Rage

Missouri

Kaptain Kryptonite

Montana

VIRUS: Dread (BBL)
Randall Angel of Louisiana

Nebraska

ARMY/IMT: "Public Enemy" Roderick Hughes (LWL)
Donald Henry of Illinois

Nevada

Tb Vixen Red

New Hampshire

VIRUS: "Mr. Wonderful" R.A. Rude (LWL)
Randall Angel

New Jersey

HOP: BA Fox (ASL)
Robert J. Ratliff

New Mexico

Roderick Hughes

New York

Keith Voss

North Carolina

Alexis Rose (RWL)
Randall Angel

North Dakota

DOD: Chief Bold Gray Fox (BRL)
Robert J. Ratliff

Ohio

Mordecai (LWL)
Delvon Mills of Florida

Oklahoma

Roderick Hughes

Oregon

The Patriot

Pennsylvania

VIRUS: The Beast of LeGevaudan (ECL)
Mitchell Morrissey

Rhode Island

Toxic (CWL)
David Lewis of New York

South Carolina

VIRUS: Riot (BBL)
Randall Angel

South Dakota

Cheerleader Sassy Red

Tennessee

DOD: Jane "The Vixen" Red (BRL)
Robert J. Ratliff

Texas

Beloved (RWL)
Nelson Gomez of New York

Utah

Foxwoman Santana (LNL)
Robert J. Ratliff

Vermont

VIRUS: Dr. Doom (XPL)
Randall Angel

Virginia

Mordecai

Washington

Gargantuan (EEL)
Blake Morgan and Gary Cassibry, Sr., both of Mississippi

West Virginia

EDGE/CHOSEN: Nehemiah Scutter (PKL)
Martin Markos

Wisconsin

Nehemiah Scutter

Wyoming

Vladimir Putin (FJL)
Mark Hlavin of Ohio

 

HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES -- engraved plaque

Keith A. Maple of Ohio

IMT/LPPF: Creature of Habit (GRL) 1,035-245-33, $1,914,800 *42
IMT/LPPF: Master of the Misfit Puppets (SHL) 2,355-536-103, $11,235,300 *95
IMT/LPPF: Money Hungry Bandit James A. Brisco (XWL) 1,029-322-59, $2,884,300 *53

 

WORLD, U.S., KING OF THE RING

World Champion

EDGE/H25: RDY2PRTY (KKL)
Sully "The Sledgehammer" Sullivan of Canada; 501; $300,000 + 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt & 50 free matches

"I Will Survive" blares over the speakers as strobes and disco balls shower the capacity crowd in groovy atmosphere. RDY2PRTY emerges from the curtain like a cannonball, barreling down the ramp on roller skates at top speed. His long, blond hair flows all around him, creating a curtain, flickering to reveal his dark, wide eyes. He seems to be just the right amount of jittery. He shucks and jives through the middle ropes and breaks out into a full-on Hustle.

...75 minutes later...

RDY2PRTY stops doing the Hustle and pulls a mic out of his leather, bedazzled onesie: "I AM THE WORLD CHAMP YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW BABY I AM FEELING IT TONIGHT JUST LIKE EVERY NIGHT BECAUSE EVERY NIGHT IS A PARTY WHEN YOU ARE RDY2PRTY I'LL KEEP THIS SHORT BECAUSE THERE ARE MOUNTAINS TO CLIMB AND SAYINGS TO RHYME AND RUM AND COKES THAT NEED LIME I JUST WANT TO CONGRATULATE MYSELF ON A FUNKY WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP AND ESPECIALLY MY MANAGER THE ALWAYS RADICAL AND EVER FAR OUT ADAM SULLIVAN I COULDN'T HAVE DONE THIS WITHOUT HIM AND MANAGING WRESTLERS TO TWO WORLD TITLES IS VERY HARD SO CONGRATS ADAM AND CATCH ALL THE REST OF YOU CHEESE EATERS ON THE FLIP SIDE!"

RDY2PRTY hurdles the top rope and sprint-skates like a bullet out of the arena.

U.S. Champion

VIRUS: Chlamydia (SWL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; 500; $60,000 + a plaque or 25 free matches; edged EDGE/H25: "Pretty Boy" Pat Borders (AEL)

King of the Ring

IMT/LPPF: Gold Ninja (TDL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi; a plaque or 25 free matches; 272 KotR total; hold positions were 1, 2, 5, 9, 10, 12, 14, 15; battle royal hold positions were 1, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 11, 13

 

SPECIALTY TITLES -- $25,000 + 10 free matches

American Champion

IMT: David Giancola (SWL)
David Trousdale of Michigan; 500

Asiatic Champion

IMT: Elrod Lives Matter (NDL)
Kevin Elrod of Ohio; 499; edged LATIN: Singer Gloria Estefan (CSL)

Hardcore Champion

IMT/ARMY: Weekend at Fazzy's (PKL)
Jerry Anderson of Michigan; 500; edged IMT/LPPF: Mr. Eaves (LSL)

Metropolitan Champion

Kennedy Cage (IWL)
Seth Brubaker of Ohio; 499; 15 free matches

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS -- $40,000 + 25 free matches

Iron Federation Champion

LATIN: Singer Gloria Estefan (CSL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 499

Steel Federation Champion

EDGE/H25: RDY2PRTY (KKL)
Sully "The Sledgehammer" Sullivan of Canada; 501

Gold Federation Champion

IMT: Elrod Lives Matter (NDL)
Kevin Elrod of Ohio; 499; edged Kennedy Cage (IWL)

Diamond Federation Champion

UKA: Shane "The Stain" Schmucker (LBL)
David Silliman of New York; 499

Bronze Federation Champion

EDGE: Tomcat Glue Boards (AOL)
Eugene Quintana of California; 500; edged previous champion IMT: David Giancola (SWL)

Jade Federation Champion

IMT/ARMY: Weekend at Fazzy's (PKL)
Jerry Anderson of Michigan; 500

 

NATIONAL, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS -- $20,000

National Champion

KDSN: Pregnant Khloe Kardashian (AEL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; Mountain region

Atlantic Champion

IMT/ARMY: Borug Shagrol (MML)
Jeff Chambers of Iowa; 500; edged EDGE/H25: Bulldog Duvall (HSL), VIRUS/AI: Axle (NBL)

Central Champion

EDGE: Mike Excellence (SWL)
Joshua Haight of Wisconsin; 500

Dixie Champion

IMT: Rocko Muscles (OSL)
Glenn Mazura of Virginia; 499; edged EDGE/H25: The Good China (SWL), IMT/ARMY: Nefarious Nell Carter (PKL)

Eastern Champion

LATIN: Matt's Latin Girlfriend Maria (MUL)
Matt Yunick; 499; edged KDSN: Kim's Plastic Surgeon #1 (EHL), ARMY/IMT: "Rated MA Renegade" Tyreese Crenshaw (JDL)

Northern Champion

IMT/ARMY: Iron Man (OSL)
Jeff Chambers; 500

Pacific Champion

VIRUS/AI: Slash (NBL)
Kyle Queen of Texas; 500

Prairie Champion

EDGE: Steve Thunder (SWL)
Joshua Haight; 500

Southern Champion

VIRUS: Reigns (HWL)
Michael Drake of New Jersey; 499; edged IMT/ARMY: Faz Dot Com (PKL)

Western Champion

IMT/ARMY: Samuel D. Henry (PKL)
Jeff Chambers; 500

 

LADIES' TITLES

Ladies' World Champion

IMT: Alexandra (MDL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi; 500; $40,000 + a plaque or 15 free matches

Ladies' U.S. Champion

IMT/ARMY: Kiring the Harrier (LLL)
Jeff Chambers of Iowa; $20,000

Queen of the Ring

IMT: Alexis (MDL)
Michael Eaves; manager retained title; 272 QotR total

Ladies' National Champion

VIRUS: Nasty Patsy (LLL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; 499

Ladies' Tag-team Champions

Krush Gals: Lioness Itsuko & Chigusa Ogyu (RWL)
John Davis of Tennessee; retained titles; 516

Ladies' U.S. Tag-team Champions

Aurora & Skye Rose (RWL)
Randall Angel of Louisiana

World Six-woman Champions

LATIN: Senoritas Jenaveve J., Karmen B., Serena T. (MDL)
Matt Yunick of New York; manager retained titles; 521

U.S. Six-woman Champions

VIRUS: Daddy's Girl, Hairy Carrie, Brain Buster Basher (MDL)
Frank Jay Belcher III & Michael Drake of New Jersey (Basher); Belcher held titles 4 cycles in a row

 

TAG-TEAM TITLES

World Tag-team Champions

EDGE: Chadwick Duckworth & IMT/ARMY: Snorch (QPL)
Eugene Quintana of California & Jeff Chambers of Iowa; Quintana held titles 3 cycles in a row, Chambers retained titles; $50,000 + 15 free matches

Top Contenders

2. LATIN: Mexican Beauty Alejandra Guilmant & Miss Mexico (KHL)

3. IMT: Hester & Fester (BRL)

4. IMT: "Rifftrax" Mike & Kevin (ASL)
previous champions; last of the teams with 516

5. Hostile Takeover & "Handle" Lin Bidness (IWL)

6. IMT: Danno & Aloha Steve (MEL)

7. VIRUS: Ebola & Ponderosa (TDL)

8. VIRUS: Sponge Bob & Squidward (SWL)
missed U.S. titles by point flow last time

9. EDGE/CHOSEN: Mr. White & Mr. Blue (AEL)

10. EDGE/CHOSEN: Mr. Obvious & Mr. Gift (LSL)

U.S. Tag-team Champions

EDGE: Warren Slappy & IMT/ARMY: Masked Wrestler #2 (QPL)
Eugene Quintana & Jerry Anderson of Michigan; Quintana retained titles; 516; $20,000; edged EDGE: Droids 19 & 20 (WDL)

 

SIX-MAN TITLES

World Six-man Champions

LATIN: Matt's Latin Girlfriends Marlene, Mayoli, Alexis (HWL)
Matt Yunick of New York; moved up from U.S. titles; manager retained titles; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

EDGE: Smooth Criminal #04, IMT/ARMY: Towelliee, Greich (QPL)
Eugene Quintana of California, Jerry Anderson of Michigan, Jeff Chambers of Iowa; Chambers held titles 6 cycles in a row, Anderson 4 in a row, Quintana 3 in a row

Top Contenders

3. EDGE/CHOSEN: Mr. Orange, Mr. Pink, Mr. Brown (AEL)
ranked #10 last time, #6 before that

4. VIRUS: Leptospirosis, Schistosomiasis, Chikungunya (MML)
last of the teams with 521

5. VIRUS/TSD: Malaria, Anthrax, VIRUS: Japan's Lee Kubiki (XPL)
VIRUS: Protozoa, Strep Throat, Shingles (SWL)
IMT/BLOOD: Kuku Racha, IMT/LPPF: Lucas, Arrogance Rising (GRL)
IMT: Enjoy Your Ignorance, Mister Fight from America, A Chicken Named Floppy (CSL)

9. ARMY/IMT: "Ghetto Superstar" Shedrick Porter, "Rated MA Renegade" Tyreese Crenshaw, "Urban American Dream" Leon Walls (JDL)

10. EDGE: Loose Cannon, Hammer, Brutal Mitchell (BRL)
ranked #7 last time, missed U.S. titles by point flow before that
EDGE/H25: Honor, Prestige, Dominance (KHL)
ranked #7 last time

U.S. Six-man Champions

EDGE: Smooth Criminal #07, IMT/ARMY: Asmongold, Buzz Kutt (QPL)
Eugene Quintana, Jerry Anderson, Jeff Chambers; Chambers held titles 4 cycles in a row, Quintana 3 in a row, Anderson retained titles; share of $20,000

KDSN: World's Sexiest Women Kourtney, Khloe, Kimberly K. (NAL)
Matt Yunick; manager retained titles; 521

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES

1. BRL (1,525 matches) 490.972

2. LWL (1,119 matches) 490.636

3. IWL (746 matches) 492.629

4. NWL (593 matches) 467.846

5. CWL (568 matches) 492.274

6. XWL (387 matches) 490.910

7. NSL (365 matches) 494.818
won the two matches for $1 cycle for having the highest average strategy total (counting only active wrestlers)

8. ASL (357 matches) 491.649
AWL (357 matches) 485.932

10. HWL (345 matches) 491.922

 

TOP 20 VICTORIES -- active wrestlers only

1. Arsenal (APL) 15,860-2,042-548

2. VIRUS: Mike Drake (HWL) 10,823-1,140-292

3. Johnny "2 Kold" Koolakowski (IGL) 10,479-409-81

4. VIRUS: Cpl. Punishment (LBL) 9,225-543-139

5. Kaptain Kryptonite (NBL) 8,717-1,697-510

6. IMT/BLOOD: Sir Gunther Kinderwacht (BRL) 8,438-762-205

7. LPPF: Medieval Tymes (XPL) 6,606-872-163

8. Death Warrant (CWL) 6,470-558-119

9. SITH: Darth Carnage (NSL) 6,413-1,021-169

10. SITH: Darth Thanatos (NSL) 6,383-1,014-182

11. SITH: Darth Avatar (NSL) 6,305-981-184

12. SITH: Darth Ravage (NSL) 6,261-987-183
DFI: American Freedom Fighter E.J. (SHL) 6,261-1,003-276

14. SITH: Darth Bedlam (NSL) 6,238-1,086-172

15. IMT/BLOOD: Wonderful Wally Brown (GRL) 6,073-575-205

16. "Mr. Everything" Kirk Lockran (AWL) 5,839-1,400-280

17. Dan the Man (HSL) 5,693-1,016-179

18. NGAA: Rydia Stormer (MDL) 5,327-1,606-303

19. EDGE: Demon (BBL) 5,287-2,393-108

20. MWC: Pete the Geek (IGL) 5,036-955-154

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

Iron Federation

Center Stage, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Heroes and Legends, Iron Man, Main Event, Quick Pin, Xtreme Poison

Steel Federation

American Wrestling, Classic Championship Wrestling, Intense Impact, King of Kings, Louisiana Swamp, Man Up, New Blood, Old School, Vicious Valkyries, World Domination

Gold Federation

All Star, Battle Royal, Blood Bath, Continental Wrestling, Global Wrestling, Independent Wrestling, Knight's Honor, Mexican Mayhem, Mystic Diva, National Wrestling, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death, Triple Threat

Diamond Federation

Action Packed, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Lethal Brawling, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling

Bronze Federation

American Extreme, American Outlaw, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hardcore Superstars, Iron Glove, Living Nightmare, Revolution Wrestling, Strong Style Wrestling

Jade Federation

Atomic Age, Combat Zone, Deluxe Wrestling, Jade Dragon, Lone Wolf, Lovely Ladies, Psychotic Killer, Super Hero, True Grit, Wrestlers Elite

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