IWA REPORT
Vol. 22, No. 4 -- March 2017
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WORLD, U.S., KING OF THE RING

World Champion

IMT/BLOOD: Nightmare Sam Hell (BRL)
"Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont; 501; $300,000 + 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt & 50 free matches

Pyrotechnics explode as "Psycho" by Muse plays over the P.A. system. Through sparks and smoke emerges your new World Champion, Nightmare Sam Hell, with his manager, "Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine. A random fan with a VIRUS shirt talks trash and Duchaine slaps him hard, almost knocking the fan out and returning him to the seated position. The fan's yogurt spills all over his lap.

Nightmare Sam Hell speaks: "Hello, IWA! It's great to be up here for my manager's seventh IWA World title. And I am very proud of the performance IMT put in this cycle. It is still early in the year, but it is a great step toward all our goals. This title right here, as well as the others, should prove just how tough the Battle Royal League really is! And I encourage any of you to come to the big leagues and step up! Only the best in the IWA are managed by Mark Duchaine, and IMT will dominate this year!"

Dr. Pain adds: "I hear lots of talk about fan clubs on the IWA Dungeon. Well, the biggest and best fan club is mine. For only $49.99 a month, you too can be a Pain Junkie. For that price, you get the privilege of being my Facebook friend, an autographed picture, and I might even let you polish my titles. Remember, folks, I'm 'Doctor Pain' Mark Duchaine, and hurting you is good for business -- especially when I am hurting EDGE."

Fire explodes as Sam Hell and Doctor Pain leave the ring. Kimberly can be seen cheering in a VIP box, wearing a tight-fitting Dr. Pain t-shirt and low-cut jeans.

U.S. Champion

IMT/LATIN: The Venezuelan Spy (LOL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 501; $60,000 + a plaque or 25 free matches; edged Riot

King of the Ring

VIRUS: Riot (BBL)
Randall Angel of Louisiana; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; 271 KotR total; edged EDGE: Big Money Chaos (MML; lesser overall total), IMT: Secret Player (HWL; lesser overall total); hold positions were 1, 2, 3, 4, 9, 12, 13, 14; battle royal hold positions were 1, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11, 15

 

SPECIALTY TITLES -- $25,000 + 10 free matches

American Champion

IMT/BLOOD: Nightmare Sam Hell (BRL)
"Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont; 501; edged VIRUS: Chlamydia (SWL)

Asiatic Champion

VIRUS: Mitchell "The Butcher" Johnson (DXL)
Mitchell Johnson of Michigan; 501

Hardcore Champion

VIRUS: Osama (TDL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; 501

Metropolitan Champion

Sam Hell
20 free matches

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS -- $40,000 + 25 free matches

Iron Federation Champion

IMT/LATIN: Matt's National Plaque (CSL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 500

Steel Federation Champion

IMT: Rocko Muscles (OSL)
Glenn Mazura of Virginia; edged EDGE: Iceman Jason McGrew (KKL), IMT/LATIN: Puerto Rico's Most Beloved (LSL)

Gold Federation Champion

IMT/BLOOD: Nightmare Sam Hell (BRL)
"Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont; 501; edged VIRUS: Osama (TDL), VIRUS: The Governor (BBL)

Diamond Federation Champion

EDGE: Clay Pigeon (NFL)
Eugene Quintana of California; 499; edged The Riverdancer (NSL)

Bronze Federation Champion

VIRUS: Chlamydia (SWL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; 501

Jade Federation Champion

VIRUS: Mitchell "The Butcher" Johnson (DXL)
Mitchell Johnson of Michigan; 501

 

NATIONAL, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS -- $20,000

National Champion

ARMY/IMT: "Dime Piece" Midori Porter (JDL)
Donald Henry of Illinois; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; Western region

Atlantic Champion

DOD: Chris Endgame (BRL)
John McMurray of Washington; 500

Central Champion

TSD: Historic MG (NAL)
Michael Giuliano of Connecticut; 499; edged VIRUS: The Big Nasty (HWL), EDGE: Sabotage (AAL), IMT/LPPF: Vulture (NBL), IMT/LPPF: White Ninja (TDL), VIRUS: The President (BBL), IMT: Zap Rowsdower (ASL)

Dixie Champion

Kennedy Cage (IWL)
Seth Brubaker of Ohio; 501

Eastern Champion

EDGE: Steve Montana (MML)
Jason McGrew of Idaho; 500; edged IMT/LATIN: Matt's Latin Girlfriend Yarissa (AEL), IMT/LATIN: 15% Nicaraguan Matt Santana (NAL), BLOOD: Cowboy Jim Spur (IWL), DOD: Erik Endgame (BRL)

Mountain Champion

ARMY/IMT: "Underground Legend" Jermaine Lawless (AAL)
Donald Henry; 500

Northern Champion

The Russian Rocket Alexei Smirnoff (BRL)
Becky Lipoth of Canada; 500

Pacific Champion

IMT/BLOOD: Lord of Illusions (BRL)
"Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont; 501

Prairie Champion

EDGE/H25: Liam Larrikan (BRL)
Andrew Konik of Michigan; 499; edged IMT/ARMY: Oblina (QPL), VIRUS: Creeper (HWL)

Southern Champion

IMT/LPPF: Product of Arrogance #1 (BRL)
Keith A. Maple of Ohio; 501

 

LADIES' TITLES

Ladies' World Champion

VIRUS: Juicy Lucy (LLL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; 501; $40,000 + a plaque or 15 free matches

Ladies' U.S. Champion

IMT/LATIN: Politician Sila Calderon (MDL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 499; $20,000; edged VIRUS: Tammy Toe Jam (LLL)

Queen of the Ring

VIRUS: Patchy the Pirate (MDL)
Frank Jay Belcher III; 501; 273 QotR total

Ladies' National Champion

Patchy

Ladies' Tag-team Champions

VIRUS: Zombies #2 & #3 (VVL)
Frank Jay Belcher III; 516

Ladies' U.S. Tag-team Champions

H25/EDGE: Great Equalizer & Gang Buster (VVL)
Rich Schwartzenburg of Canada

World Six-woman Champions

VIRUS: Zombies #13, #14, #15 (VVL)
Frank Jay Belcher III; manager held titles 3 cycles in a row

IMT/LATIN: Matt's Latin Girlfriend Leticia, Don Flamenco's Wives #1, #2 (MDL)
Matt Yunick; 521; edged VIRUS: Rosanne Bar, Bruce Jenner "The Female Version," Sensational Sherry (LLL)

U.S. Six-woman Champions

VIRUS: Zombies #4, #5, #6 (VVL)
Frank Jay Belcher III; 521

 

TAG-TEAM TITLES

World Tag-team Champions

EDGE: Thuggy McThuggerson & Thugged Out Assassin (TGL)
Eugene Quintana of California; manager held titles 3 cycles in a row; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

EDGE/CHOSEN: Running Man & Running Scared (LSL)
Jeff Annable of Canada

VIRUS/TSD: Fire & Ice (NAL)
Michael Giuliano of Connecticut; ranked #8 last time

VIRUS: The Ravishing One & Mr. Fabulous M.J. (MUL)
Mitchell Johnson of Michigan

ARMY/IMT: "Hardcore Legend" Lance & "Blackheart" Brett Severance (AAL)
Donald Henry of Illinois

Top Contenders

6. EDGE: Droids 12 & 21 (FLL)

7. VIRUS: Yur Papa & Ghouly (KKL)

8. IMT/LPPF: Brown Ninja & Mr. Convenient (JDL)

9. IMT/BLOOD: Lord of Illusions & Nightmare Sam Hell (BRL)

10. EDGE: Faux Pas & Cornball (NFL)
last of the teams with 516

U.S. Tag-team Champions

EDGE: Dog Smuggler & Prague Shuffler (SHL)
Eugene Quintana; manager retained titles; share of $20,000

VIRUS: "Drunk" Terry Flunk & Cactus Sac (GRL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan

VIRUS: Zika Virus & Zombie Bieber (SWL)
Frank Jay Belcher III & Jeremy Nace from the House of Infection

IMT/LATIN: Puerto Rican Insurgents #1 & #2 (LSL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 516; edged EDGE: Droids 22 & 23 (FLL), ARMY/IMT: Hootie's Bodyguards Bareback & Rawdog (MUL), VIRUS: Mr. Johnson & Mr. Felcyn (KKL), EDGE: Deaf Jeff & Silent Mike (NFL), IMT/ARMY: Bill "Struggle Snuggle" Cosby & Wondrous Willis Jackson (THL), EDGE/H25: The Iron & Mike "White Lightning" Cook (TGL), EDGE: Droids 009 & 010 (AAL)

 

SIX-MAN TITLES

World Six-man Champions

EDGE: He is I, And I Am Him, Droid 14 (KHL)
Eugene Quintana of California; manager held titles 3 cycles in a row; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

EDGE: Black Sunshine, Jive Turkey Tommy J, EDGE/CHOSEN: Fighter 2 (MML)
Jason McGrew of Idaho & Rich Reilly of New Jersey (Fighter); managers retained titles

EDGE/CHOSEN: Mr. Obvious, Mr. Lucky, Mr. Gift (LSL)
Jeff Annable of Canada; ranked #10 last time

IMT/LATIN: The Macarena, Los Del Rio Members #1, #2 (NDL)
Matt Yunick of New York

IMT/LPPF: Red Ninja, Misfit Puppets #9, #10 (XWL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi (Ninja) & Keith A. Maple of Ohio

VIRUS: Hazard, Riot, Dread (BBL)
Randall Angel of Louisiana

VIRUS: The One Hit Wonder, The Great One, Big Badazz: M.J. (MUL)
Mitchell Johnson of Michigan

VIRUS/TSD: "Mr. Signs" the Zodiac, "Mr. Freeze" Jeffrey Dahmer, BTK (NBL)
Michael Giuliano of Connecticut

Top Contenders

9. VIRUS/TSD: Masked Justice #2, TSD: Mystery Masked Destiny #8, #9 (ECL)

10. VIRUS: STD, The Killer Kangaroo, Creeper (HWL)
missed U.S. titles by point flow last time
VIRUS: Maybe Maybe, "The American Dream" Dirty Toad, Gweedo (KKL)
VIRUS: Bladder Infection, The Prodigy M.J., Krackhead Bob (AWL)
Droids 9, 10, EDGE: Tenderfoot (TDL)

14. VIRUS: "Mr. Infection" F.B.III, F.B.III from Proctology, Dr. F.B. (DXL)
last of the teams with 521

U.S. Six-man Champions

EDGE: Greenhorn, Fresh Fish, Droid 15 (KHL)
Eugene Quintana; manager held titles 3 cycles in a row; share of $20,000

EDGE/CHOSEN: Horsemen 1, 2, 3 (JDL)
Rich Reilly; manager retained titles

VIRUS: Orion, Perseus, Tarus (MUL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan

IMT/ARMY: Gruul Boguul, Hershel Greene, Brian Williams (MML)
Jeff Chambers of Iowa

IMT/LATIN: Matt's Latin Girlfriend Yaris, P.R. Beauty Denise Quinones, Model Joan Smalls (LSL)
Matt Yunick; 521; edged VIRUS/TSD: Mystery Masked Destiny #5, #6, #7 (ECL), EDGE/CHOSEN: Disciple of Terror 8, EDGE: Big Worm, Bob Thumb (AEL)

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES

1. LWL (1,062 matches) 489.833

2. NWL (965 matches) 471.441

3. IWL (859 matches) 493.965

4. BRL (811 matches) 494.544

5. CWL (586 matches) 494.648

6. CCL (567 matches) 491.118

7. ASL (499 matches) 494.775
won the two matches for $1 cycle for having the highest average strategy total (counting only active wrestlers)

8. AOL (396 matches) 491.300

9. MUL (387 matches) 491.044

10. KHL (382 matches) 489.710

 

TOP 20 VICTORIES -- active wrestlers only

1. Arsenal (XWL) 15,166-1,970-537

2. APO: Gypsy Rose Lee (ECL) 12,040-3,119-863

3. Mike Drake (HWL) 10,657-1,119-286

4. Johnny "2 Kold" Koolakowski (IGL) 10,322-387-80

5. VIRUS: Cpl. Punishment (LBL) 8,953-539-135

6. Kaptain Kryptonite (NBL) 8,523-1,624-493

7. IMT/BLOOD: Sir Gunther Kinderwacht (BRL) 8,251-747-197

8. IMT/LPPF: Medieval Tymes (XPL) 6,578-854-158

9. Death Warrant (CWL) 6,249-523-109

10. SITH: Darth Carnage (NSL) 6,220-997-164

11. SITH: Darth Thanatos (NSL) 6,180-980-174

12. DFI: American Freedom Fighter E.J. (SHL) 6,140-993-273

13. SITH: Darth Avatar (NSL) 6,104-953-177

14. SITH: Darth Bedlam (NSL) 6,038-1,055-167

15. SITH: Darth Ravage (NSL) 6,021-967-174

16. IMT/BLOOD: Wonderful Wally Brown (GRL) 5,921-576-201

17. VIRUS/TSD: The Survivor (ECL) 5,900-1,444-294

18. Dan the Man (HSL) 5,404-992-177

19. NGAA: Rydia Stormer (MDL) 5,173-1,570-298

20. EDGE: Demon (BBL) 5,169-2,368-107

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

Iron Federation

Center Stage, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Heroes and Legends, Iron Man, Main Event, Quick Pin, Xtreme Poison

Steel Federation

American Wrestling, Classic Championship Wrestling, Fighting Legends, Intense Impact, King of Kings, Louisiana Swamp, Man Up, New Blood, Old School, Vicious Valkyries

Gold Federation

All Star, Battle Royal, Blood Bath, Continental Wrestling, Global Wrestling, Independent Wrestling, Knight's Honor, Mexican Mayhem, Mystic Diva, National Wrestling, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death, Triple Threat

Diamond Federation

At Bat, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Lethal Brawling, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling

Bronze Federation

American Extreme, American Outlaw, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hardcore Superstars, Iron Glove, Living Nightmare, Strong Style Wrestling

Jade Federation

Atomic Age, Combat Zone, Deluxe Wrestling, Jade Dragon, Lone Wolf, Lovely Ladies, Psychotic Killer, Super Hero, Thor's Hammer, True Grit, Wrestlers Elite

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