IWA REPORT
Vol. 21, No. 13 -- September 2016
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2016 SPECIALTY CHAMPIONSHIPS

All 20 winners below were awarded $100,000 in imaginary money! Those finishing in second place earned $25,000 apiece, and $10,000 went to each wrestler who came in third. Thanks to everyone who stepped up this year!

 

Biker Chain

SHS: Agent 26 (BRL)
Michael Patuleia of Massachusetts

Annoying Orange Juice (EEL)
Dimitrios Zervas of New York

LPPF/EMC: Hazard (BBL)
Randall Angel of Louisiana

Buried Alive

Booty McGhee (PKL)
Martin Markos of Michigan

Agent 26

Furious Dragon (CWL)
Dwayne Dolly II of New Jersey

Casket

LPPF/EMC: Dread (BBL)
Randall Angel

EMC/LPPF: Dionysus Royal (GRL)
Randall Angel

EMC/LPPF: Dr. Doom (XPL)
Randall Angel

Circle of Fear

Rock Simpson (NWL)
Owen & Derek Sharp of Canada

Cleatus McHicks (LWL)
Dwayne Dolly II

Curmudgeon (GRL)
Joe Lande of Minnesota

First Blood

Agent 26

SHS: Punk Rock Mike (BRL)
Michael Patuleia

VZL: Vitamin Z (XPL)
Zach Harper of Oregon

Hair vs. Hair

FAM: "The General" Ulysses Monroe (NWL)
Seth Brubaker of Ohio

VIRUS: "Lord Humongus" Axel Blade (GRL)
Mitchell Morrissey of Missouri

Toxic (CWL)
David Lewis of New York

Hangman's Horror

The Krampus (ECL)
Colin Morton of New York

LATIN/AXIS: The 499 World Champion (ECL)
Matt Yunick of New York

Dragonmaster (CWL)
Dwayne Dolly II

Hardcore

Noble House: "Da Black Superstar" Bobby Bedlam (BRL)
Kendall Marlin of South Carolina

Vitamin Z

BMF: Phantom Warrior (TTL)
Bud White of California

Hell in a Cell

nWo: "The New Age Outlaw" Mark Malice (NWL)
Louis Ruggiero of Massachusetts

Torgo (LNL)
David Trousdale of Michigan

Crimson Grimm (IWL)
Luke Crawford of Maine

I Quit

Starkiller (LWL)
Nicholas Hill of Georgia

Scotty Flash (IWL)
David Lewis

BMF: Primal Rage (TTL)
Bud White

Inferno

nWo: "The UNnatural" Vic Villain (NWL)
Louis Ruggiero

LATIN: Video Vixen Remi Belle (GRL)
Matt Yunick

Keith "The Devil" Voss (LWL)
Keith D. Voss of Austria

Iron Man

Annoying Orange Juice

Punk Rock Mike

Noble House: "The Bagman" Jimi Henchmen (BRL)
Kendall Marlin

Last Man Standing

Punk Rock Mike

Francois le'Chevalier (LWL)
Martin Markos

BMF: Wild Bill (AOL)
Bud White

Lumberjack

BMF: Sinister (TTL)
Bud White

Anthony Ibrahim-Jensen (GWL)
Anthony Ibrahim of Kansas

Francois le'Chevalier

Martial Arts

Primal Rage

Starkiller

NGAA: Mara O'Connor (MDL)
S. Daniel Stunes of Arkansas

Parking Lot Brawl

Masked Wrestler #94 (UWL)

nWo/RX: "Highlight of the Night" Johny Vegas (NWL)
Louis Ruggiero

Noble House: "Mr. 187" Tony Dime (BRL)
Kendall Marlin

Scaffold

FAM: Piper "The Goofball" Monroe (NWL)
Seth Brubaker

Johny Vegas

APO: Lil JJ (AWL)
Giovanni Rentas of Florida

Singapore Cane

Keith Voss

LATIN: Adult Star Abella Anderson (JDL)
Matt Yunick

LPPF/EMC: Riot (BBL)
Randall Angel

Tables, Ladders, and Chairs

Anthony Ibrahim-Jensen

Noble House: "Ruffneck" Nicky Rock (BRL)
Kendall Marlin

Cleatus McHicks

Texas Bullrope

Mudguts (GRL)
Joe Lande

"The Dangerous Bull" TN Terry Blackwell (CCL)
Michael C. Rogers of Indiana

Dionysus Royal

 

WORLD, U.S., KING OF THE RING

World Champion

EDGE: The Game Genie (WEL)
Sully "The Sledgehammer" Sullivan of Canada; 501; $300,000 + 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt & 50 free matches

The "Blow on Me" remix of "Call on Me" by Eric Prydz blares over the loudspeaker. On the Jumbotron, the Game Genie code screen appears, and the cursor rolls over the glowing letters one by one to spell out W-O-R-L-D T-I-T-L-E. Yoshi and Luigi emerge from the curtain and roll a Power Pad down the ramp like it's a red carpet. The Game Genie steps out, flanked by his Entourage: Soda Popinski, Kid Icarus, Dr. Wily, the blue-haired guy from Contra and, of course, his personal valet, Princess Toadstool. He has a mic firmly planted in his Power Gloved hand as he begins to walk toward the ring.

Game Genie: "When Adam Sullivan slipped my plastic casing over the IWA NES gaming cartridge, we all knew great things were bound to happen. From day one, I've been his top gun for punching out the competition, even when a lot of naysayers thought of me as a paperboy. That sentiment changed when I won the U.S. title, and the excitement and gratitude that Sully showed me was mega, man. Alas, we all knew that his first World title was the final fantasy. I bore down and used all sorts of fighting tactics from kung fu to even pulling out blades of steel like a bona fide sword master. I pretty much became a bionic commando in my quest to become the ring king. Now, here I stand among friends, family, and all my Gamers in the crowd, as the undisputed champion of the world!!!"

U.S. Champion

ARMY/IMT: "Anti-Authority" Donald Henry (JDL)
Donald Henry of Illinois; 501; $60,000 + a plaque or 25 free matches

King of the Ring

EDGE: Legend of the Past (HLL)
Rich Reilly of New Jersey; manager retained title; a plaque or 25 free matches; 274 KotR total; hold positions were 1, 2, 4, 7, 8, 11, 13, 15; battle royal hold positions were 2, 3, 5, 6, 9, 10, 12, 14

 

SPECIALTY TITLES -- $25,000 + 10 free matches

American Champion

EDGE: Primetime (AEL)
Rich Reilly of New Jersey; 500

Asiatic Champion

KDSN: World's Greatest Mother Kris Jenner (TCL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 499

Hardcore Champion

LPPF/MEDS: Irrelevant Nobody (Him) (GRL)
Keith A. Maple of Ohio; 501

Metropolitan Champion

BLOOD: Sinister Steve Stryker (BRL)
"Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont; 499; 20 free matches

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS -- $40,000 + 25 free matches

Iron Federation Champion

EDGE: a 3rd of a strat (MEL)
Michael Cook of Kentucky; 501

Steel Federation Champion

IMT: Blake Bishop, All-American (OSL)
Glenn Mazura of Virginia; edged LPPF: Vengeful Doom (IIL)

Gold Federation Champion

EDGE/JERKSS: Dash (TTL)
Erik Davis of Washington; 501

Diamond Federation Champion

LPPF/MEDS: Magnificent Mike Eaves (LBL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi; 499; manager's 20th career Diamond Federation title

Bronze Federation Champion

LPPF/MEDS: Irrelevant Nobody (Him) (GRL)
Keith A. Maple of Ohio; 501

Jade Federation Champion

EDGE: The Game Genie (WEL)
Sully "The Sledgehammer" Sullivan of Canada; 501

 

NATIONAL, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS -- $20,000

National Champion

EDGE: Cormac Flood (PKL)
Andrew Konik of Michigan; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; Mountain region; edged KDSN: "Karate" Kimberly Kardashian (KHL)

Atlantic Champion

TSD: Mystery IML Masked Man #6 (IML)
Michael Giuliano of Connecticut; 501; edged nWo: "The New Age Outlaw" Mark Malice (NWL)

Central Champion

EDGE: Luxurious Two-Night Stay (SWL)
Sully "The Sledgehammer" Sullivan of Canada; manager retained title; 501

Dixie Champion

EDGE: The Legendary Assassin (KHL)
Joshua Haight of Wisconsin; 500; edged LPPF: Mass Fuchi (NDL), EDGE: Ferragus Brennan (CWL)

Eastern Champion

BLOOD: Nightmare Sam Hell (BRL)
"Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont; 500; edged EDGE: TV Champ Mike Cook (TTL)

Northern Champion

TSD: Phillip "No Doubt" Seymour Hoffman (IML)
Michael Giuliano; 500

Pacific Champion

EDGE: National Champ Mike Cook (HSL)
Michael Cook of Kentucky; 500; edged LPPF: "Hot Stuff" Eddie Gilbert (NDL)

Prairie Champion

EDGE: Paul E. Pocket (AEL)
Sully Sullivan; 500

Southern Champion

EDGE/JERKSS: The Man (CSL)
Erik Davis of Washington; 500; edged TSD: The Black Heart Blazer (IML)

Western Champion

EDGE: Ric Thunder (SWL)
Joshua Haight; 499; edged EDGE: Mike "* Collector" Cook (HSL), IMT/ARMY: Residual Stink (MML)

 

LADIES' TITLES

Ladies' World Champion

TSD: Mean Jean Baljean (MDL)
Jason Battaglia of New York; $40,000 + a plaque or 15 free matches; edged LATIN: Matt's Latin Girlfriend Luna (VVL)

Ladies' U.S. Champion

LATIN: Video Vixen Sin (VVL)
Matt Yunick of New York; manager retained title; $20,000; edged LPPF: Allyson (MDL)

Queen of the Ring

LPPF: Masked Robinson #6 (MDL)
Gerald Robinson of Tennessee; 500; 268 QotR total

Ladies' National Champion

Masked Robinson #6

Ladies' Tag-team Champions

LPPF/MEDS: Drama Queens - Mikayla & Megan (LLL)
Keith A. Maple of Ohio; 516

Ladies' U.S. Tag-team Champions

EDGE: Sarah Summers & Nikki Blair (LLL)
Rob Bream of Pennsylvania; 516

World Six-woman Champions

VIRUS: Zsa Zsa Gabor, Latoya Jackson, Barbara Bush (LLL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; manager retained titles; 521

U.S. Six-woman Champions

KDSN: North's Nannies #1, #2, Dash Employee Lily (LLL)
Matt Yunick

 

TAG-TEAM TITLES

World Tag-team Champions

LPPF: Executioner & BLOOD: Classy Eddie Degrassi (BRL)
Keith A. Maple of Ohio & "Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont; retained titles; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

VIRUS: "The Kingpin" Pablo Escobar & The Great Khan (XPL)
Mitchell Johnson of Michigan

EDGE: "Dream Machine" Josh Bailey & Voodoo McGregor (PKL)
Jamie Davis of Kentucky

Top Contenders

4. EDGE: Head Trip & Masked Warrior 19 (NFL)
ranked #7 last time

5. EDGE: The Prodigy & Toy Car (HLL)
MWC: Foot Soldier #3 & Joe Dirt (IGL)

7. ARMY/IMT: "Ladies' Man" Toad & "Dime Piece" Midori Porter (JDL)
ranked #6 last time
EDGE: Taggy McTagsalot & Taggy McTagerson (AEL)

9. LPPF: Half Man & Half Amazing (NBL)

10. IMT/ARMY: Sadistic Stephen Hawking & Meat Curtains (AOL)

11. ARMY/IMT: "Urban Sheik" Sayid Al-Fayeed & "Ms. Hardcore Doll" Sierra Vega (CZL)
last of the teams with 516

U.S. Tag-team Champions

EDGE: "Fat" Williams & Disciple of Terror 5 (AEL)
Eugene Quintana of California & Rich Reilly of New Jersey; 516; $20,000; edged EDGE: Masked Warrior 22 & Washout (NFL; missed titles by point flow last time), EDGE: Misprint & Not an Island (HLL), LPPF/MEDS: Gator & Lance (GRL), ARMY/IMT: "Mack Daddy of Violence" Rodney Pierce & "Silencer" Eddie Camden (CZL)

 

SIX-MAN TITLES

World Six-man Champions

EDGE: Mike Cook's Best Friend, Six-man Partner, Remember Mike Cook? (XPL)
retained titles
EDGE: Uno-Slammer, Dos-Puncher, Tres-Kicker (AEL)
Michael Cook of Kentucky; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

LATIN: The Venezuelan Spy, Miss Venezuela, Video Vixen Cyn Santana (LOL)
retained titles (changed names)
LATIN: Cuban Refugees #1, #2, Adult Star Giselle Vega (CSL)
Matt Yunick of New York

ARMY/IMT: "Half-Blind Brawler" Otis Bascomb, Zipperface, The Gimp (JDL)
ARMY/IMT: "Underground Legend" Jermaine Lawless, "Ghetto Saint" Desmond Bishop, "Wayward Son" Irvin Cross (AAL)
Donald Henry of Illinois

IMT/ARMY: Nefarious Nell Carter, Faz in a Box, The Real Deal Richard Dawson (PRL)
Jerry Anderson of Michigan

VIRUS: Smallpox, Mr. Rogers, Creeper (HWL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; manager retained titles

Top Contenders

9. LPPF/MEDS: Jack of All Trades, Master of None, Lawrence (GRL)

10. EDGE: Toy, Toy Truck, A Few Different Toys (HLL)
previous champions

11. EDGE: Masked Warriors 14, 15, Meathead (NFL)
last of the teams with 521

U.S. Six-man Champions

EDGE: Hurley Race, Steve, John Crenshaw (AEL)
Eugene Quintana of California (Race) & Rich Reilly of New Jersey; Quintana held titles 6 cycles in a row, Reilly held titles 3 cycles in a row; share of $20,000

LATIN: The Ecuadorian Spy, Liberator Manuela Saenz, Freedom Fighter Simon Bolivar (JDL)
Matt Yunick; manager retained titles

VIRUS: The Russian Vladmir Rusvkof, Japan's Lee Kubiki, "The Sheik" Ali Reskei (XPL)
Mitchell Johnson of Michigan

IMT/ARMY: Weekend at Fazzy's 2, Booker D, Electrifying Emmanuel Lewis (PRL)
Jerry Anderson

ARMY/IMT: "Lone Drifter" Jackson Kutler, "Voice of Dissent" Tyrone Duncan, "Queen of Extreme" Keisha Watts (AAL)
Donald Henry; 521; edged previous champions EDGE: Guz's Parrot, The Chosen One, Chosen Mute Parrot (HLL), EDGE: Scape Goat, Pipe Dream, Masked Warrior 17 (NFL)

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES

1. NWL (1,703 matches) 458.328

2. BRL (706 matches) 493.693

3. LWL (685 matches) 490.087

4. IWL (612 matches) 494.023
won the two matches for $1 cycle for having the highest average strategy total (counting only active wrestlers)

5. UWL (570 matches) 492.854

6. NBL (543 matches) 490.817

7. GRL (502 matches) 492.343

8. ECL (453 matches) 490.026

9. CCL (410 matches) 488.732

10. XPL (398 matches) 493.268

 

TOP 20 VICTORIES -- active wrestlers only

1. Arsenal (XWL) 14,152-1,815-492

2. APO: Gypsy Rose Lee (ECL) 11,795-2,861-816

3. Mike Drake (HWL) 10,340-1,069-276

4. Johnny "2 Kold" Koolakowski (IGL) 9,896-357-76

5. VIRUS: Cpl. Punishment (LBL) 8,556-527-131

6. BLOOD: Sir Gunther Kinderwacht (BRL) 8,008-717-186

7. LPPF: Innovator of Arrogance Keith A. Maple (XPL) 7,824-695-195

8. Kaptain Kryptonite (NBL) 7,404-1,529-471

9. LPPF/MEDS: Medieval Tymes (GRL) 6,469-834-153

10. DFI: American Freedom Fighter E.J. (SHL) 5,952-948-272

11. SITH: Darth Carnage (NSL) 5,947-961-159

12. VIRUS: Death Warrant (GWL) 5,932-488-105

13. SITH: Darth Thanatos (NSL) 5,906-937-170

14. SITH: Darth Avatar (NSL) 5,816-919-170

15. SITH: Darth Ravage (NSL) 5,806-938-168

16. SITH: Darth Bedlam (NSL) 5,788-997-163

17. TSD: The Survivor (ECL) 5,715-1,412-283

18. BLOOD/MEDS: Wonderful Wally Brown (GRL) 5,690-550-195

19. "Mr. Everything" Kirk Lockran (AWL) 5,403-1,245-255

20. PAIN: Dragon Tzu (AAL) 5,274-2,119-463

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

Iron Federation

Center Stage, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Heroes and Legends, Iron Man, Main Event, Quick Pin, Xtreme Poison

Steel Federation

American Wrestling, Classic Championship Wrestling, Fighting Legends, Intense Impact, King of Kings, Last Man Standing, Man Up, Mid-Atlantic Wrestling Legacy, New Blood, Old School, Vicious Valkyries

Gold Federation

All Star, Battle Royal, Blood Bath, Continental Wrestling, Global Wrestling, Independent Wrestling, Knight's Honor, Mexican Mayhem, Mystic Diva, National Wrestling, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death, Triple Threat

Diamond Federation

At Bat, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Lethal Brawling, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling

Bronze Federation

American Extreme, American Outlaw, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hardcore Superstars, Iron Glove, Living Nightmare, Strong Style Wrestling, Torture Chamber, Unknown Wrestler

Jade Federation

Atomic Age, Combat Zone, Deluxe Wrestling, Jade Dragon, Lone Wolf, Lovely Ladies, Primal Rage, Psychotic Killer, Super Hero, Super Villain, Wrestlers Elite

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