IWA REPORT
Vol. 21, No. 10 -- July 2016
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JOHNNY B SAYS

We began our 30th year in existence by offering you a humble token of our esteem, and are closing it on the same note: for every $12 you spend on matches next cycle, you can send one of your wrestlers against the 30 lowest ranked wrestlers instead of the bottom 20! Your Match Selection Sheet has the details.

Also next cycle, our Specialty Championships return to crown new winners!

 

HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES -- engraved plaque

Mike Moore of North Carolina

Mike White Lightning Moore (LWL) 1,792-618-139, $3,684,000 *23

 

WORLD, U.S., KING OF THE RING

World Champion

BLOOD: Awesome Adam Stryker (PKL)
"Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont; 501; $300,000 + 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt & 50 free matches

IWA camera crews are in Plattsburgh, New York, for live PKL action, when "Psycho" by Muse explodes over the P.A. system. It's new IWA World Champion Awesome Adam Stryker making his entrance. The fans chant, "You are awesome!" as he walks down to the ring wearing the IWA World title belt around his waist, with the Jade Federation and Hardcore belts on his shoulders.

Adam speaks: "What do you think, Plattsburgh? Ready for some PKL action? This is my manager's fifth World title in this game, and I am happy it was me who won it! BLOOD will continue to spill all across the IWA! Speaking of which, we are, in fact, recruiting. So if you want in, then get to the XPL, MWL, BRL, NAL, GRL, or PKL, and tell us why you deserve to be in the Brutally Lethal Organization of Overkill and Domination!

"And also, you're right, fans -- I AM awesome! And I will allow all of you contenders to just bask in the glow of my awesomeness! (He wipes his head and flicks sweat at the camera.) Now, if you will excuse me... Awesome Adam has some celebrating to do!!!"

Fans again chant, "You are awesome!" as he leaves.

U.S. Champion

EDGE: "Wrestling Demon" Alcohol (CZL)
Michael Cook of Kentucky; 501; $60,000 + a plaque or 25 free matches; edged EDGE: Bread Harrity (AAL), IMT: Charlie Young (LBL), Guillo Tina, VIRUS: M.J. "The Fabulous One" (DXL)

King of the Ring

EDGE: Guillo Tina (WEL)
Eugene Quintana of California; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; 272 KotR total; edged Arsenal (XWL; lesser overall total); hold positions were 2, 4, 5, 7, 10, 11, 14, 15; battle royal hold positions were 1, 3, 6, 8, 9, 10, 12, 13

 

SPECIALTY TITLES -- $25,000 + 10 free matches

American Champion

EDGE: Bottle Popper (SWL)
Sully "The Sledgehammer" Sullivan of Canada; 501; edged LPPF: Bob (AAL)

Asiatic Champion

EDGE: "Da Vanilla Twista" Adam Sullivan (DXL)
Sully Sullivan; 501

Hardcore Champion

BLOOD: Awesome Adam Stryker (PKL)
"Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont; 501; edged ARMY/IMT: "Boozefighter" Hector Carrasco (CZL)

Metropolitan Champion

VIRUS: Dynamic Danny Dynamite (LWL)
Mitchell Morrissey of Missouri; 501; 20 free matches

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS -- $40,000 + 25 free matches

Iron Federation Champion

EDGE: a 3rd of a strat (MEL)
Michael Cook of Kentucky; 499; edged VIRUS/KDSN: Olympic Hero Bruce Jenner (CSL)

Steel Federation Champion

EDGE: Giffy the JPEG Image (KKL)
Sully "The Sledgehammer" Sullivan of Canada; 501

Gold Federation Champion

MWC: Minneapolis Bad Boy (KHL)
Steven M. Shotliff of Minnesota; 500; edged EDGE: Kamikaze Kid (MML)

Diamond Federation Champion

KDSN: Khloe's Friend Terrence (LOL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 499; edged IMT: Faz & Elrod's Infinite Floodlist (LBL)

Bronze Federation Champion

EDGE: Bottle Popper (SWL)
Sully Sullivan; 501; edged Tiny Firefly (LNL)

Jade Federation Champion

BLOOD: Awesome Adam Stryker (PKL)
"Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont; 501; edged LPPF: Bob (AAL), VIRUS: CNS Symptoms (WEL), EDGE: Thugerific (SVL), ARMY/IMT: "Boozefighter" Hector Carrasco (CZL), EDGE: "Da Vanilla Twista" Adam Sullivan (DXL), VIRUS: Dynamic Danny Dynamite (LWL)

 

NATIONAL, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS -- $20,000

National Champion

EDGE: Star Master (SWL)
Joshua Haight of Wisconsin; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; Mountain region; edged VIRUS: Mr. Krabs (TCL), EDGE: Aberthol Mortimer (PKL)

Atlantic Champion

IMT/ARMY: Vormir Banehallow (AAL)
Jeff Chambers of Iowa; 501

Central Champion

EDGE: Reign of Terror Disciple (JDL)
Rich Reilly of New Jersey; 501; edged EDGE: Being Jake Malkovich (HSL)

Dixie Champion

EDGE: Prodigal Son (MML)
Rich Reilly; 501

Eastern Champion

ARMY/IMT: Rott Weiler (CZL)
Donald Henry of Illinois; 501; edged IMT/ARMY: Magnificent Morgan Freeman (PRL)

Northern Champion

EMC/LPPF: Corporal Swave Sevah (NAL)
Melvin "Mayhem" DeJesus of New York; 500; edged EDGE: Birdman (MML), PWG: White Buffalo (NSL)

Pacific Champion

IMT/ARMY: Dimachaerus (AWL)
Jeff Chambers; 499; edged EDGE: Droid 0E (WEL), ARMY/IMT: "South Side Bully" Debo Markham (CZL), EDGE: Logan Docherty (PKL)

Prairie Champion

EDGE: Droid 0D (WEL)
Eugene Quintana of California; 501

Southern Champion

EDGE: Eric Hotshot (CZL)
Joshua Haight; 501

Western Champion

EDGE: Droid 0D 2 (WEL)
Eugene Quintana; 501

 

LADIES' TITLES

Ladies' World Champion

VIRUS/KDSN: The Little Brat Kylie Jenner (VVL)
Matt Yunick of New York; manager held title 3 cycles in a row; 500; $40,000 + a plaque or 15 free matches

Ladies' U.S. Champion

3G: Kandy Orton (FFL)
Joe Lande of Minnesota; $20,000; edged IMT/ARMY: Kiring the Harrier (LLL), VIRUS/KDSN: Masked Khloe Kardashian (VVL)

Queen of the Ring

KDSN: North's Nanny #2 (LLL)
Matt Yunick; 499; 275 QotR total

Ladies' National Champion

IMT/ARMY: Brinde Fair-Voice (LLL)
Jeff Chambers of Iowa; 500

Ladies' Tag-team Champions

IMT: Numbers Station & Dyatlov Pass (MDL)
Anthony Fazio from Parts Unknown

Ladies' U.S. Tag-team Champions

IMT: Mary Celeste & Myst (MDL)
Anthony Fazio

World Six-woman Champions

LPPF: The Beautiful Ones (LLL)
Keith A. Maple of Ohio (Jamie Szantyr, Lauren Williams, Ashley Cabot); missed titles by point flow last time; edged IMT: Ashara Dayne, Arianne Martell, Lyanna Stark (FFL)

U.S. Six-woman Champions

IMT: Sansa Stark, Elia Martell, Margaery Tyrell (FFL)
Anthony Fazio

 

TAG-TEAM TITLES

World Tag-team Champions

EDGE: Steve from Yellowstone & Habitual Line Stepper (HWL)
Jake Duvall of North Carolina & Sully "The Sledgehammer" Sullivan of Canada; $50,000 + 15 free matches

Top Contenders

2. EDGE/JERKSS: The Striker & The Man (CSL)

3. EDGE/JERKSS: The Kinda Great Guz & The Desperate One (LSL)

4. IMT: Hans Gruber & IMT/ARMY: Zimbo (QPL)
ranked #16 last time
Johnny "The Wrench" Morello & Vincent "Lil Vinni" Torrio (NAL)

6. MWC: Foot Soldier #3 & Joe Dirt (IGL)
ranked #5 last time

7. EDGE: Mr. White & Mr. Blue (AEL)
previous champions

8. VIRUS: Sars & Plague (XPL)

9. EDGE: Mike "Pretty Good" & Mike "The Winner" Cook (MEL)

10. ARMY/IMT: "Violent Breed" Bobby Colfax & IMT/ARMY: Dr. Octavia (XWL)

11. EDGE: Jay & Sebastian Q (EHL)
EDGE: Roach Killer & Insect Repellents (AOL)

13. VIRUS: Zika Virus & Norovirus (TCL)
last of the teams with 516

U.S. Tag-team Champions

IMT: King of the Rhoynar & IMT/ARMY: Kriggle (QPL)
Anthony Fazio from Parts Unknown & Jeff Chambers of Iowa; missed titles by point flow last time; 516; $20,000; edged LPPF: Mike Eaves & See No Evil (NAL), EDGE: Taggy McTagsalot & Taggy McTagerson (AEL), VIRUS: Malaria & Leprosy (XPL), EDGE: Eternal Jakeshine & Of the Jakeless Mind (HSL), IMT: Scissor Me Timbers & Lindsay Lohan's Liquor Cabinet (CSL), ARMY/IMT: "Punk Girl" Lori Gage & IMT/ARMY: Wulfgar Skjor (XWL)

 

SIX-MAN TITLES

World Six-man Champions

EDGE: Mr. Orange, Mr. Pink, Mr. Brown (AEL)
Jeff Annable of Canada; retained titles; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

EDGE: He is I, Apprentice, Cannon Fodder (KHL)
Eugene Quintana of California; manager held titles 3 cycles in a row

VIRUS/KDSN/NAVY: Sgt. Kimberly, Gen. Kourtney Kardashian, "Admiral" North West (LSL)
Matt Yunick of New York; manager held titles 3 cycles in a row

MWC: Minnesota Wrecking Crew III, Foot Soldier #1, Guy from Minnesota (IGL)
Steven M. Shotliff of Minnesota; manager retained titles

EMC/LPPF: Commander Chess Youngin, LPPF: Bull Cyclone, Speak No Evil (NAL)
Melvin "Mayhem" DeJesus of New York, Michael Eaves of Mississippi, Keith A. Maple of Ohio; DeJesus & Maple retained titles

Sadistic Steve Supreme, Mike Mr. Muscle Copley, Marvel Man (BBL)
Steve Gasperoni of California

Top Contenders

7. EDGE: Guz's Parrot, Chosen Mute Parrot, The Chosen One (HLL)
TSD: Wrath, The 8th Wonder of the World, The Beast Incarnate (WEL)
last of the teams with 521

9. IMT/ARMY: Scourged Flesh, Mecha Tom, IMT: One Nation Under Faz (MML)
previous champions
EDGE: Progressive Springfieldian Kearney S., Work Beatle John Lenin, Richard Karl Marx (NDL)

U.S. Six-man Champions

EDGE: "Rockin'" Robbie Alomar, "Jumpin'" John Olerud, Paul "Murder" Molitor (AEL)
Sully "The Sledgehammer" Sullivan of Canada; retained titles; 10 free matches, share of $20,000

EDGE: Wasp, Insect Killers, Combat Bait Station (AOL)
Eugene Quintana; manager held titles 3 cycles in a row

MWC: "The Stunning One" Steven M. Shotliff, "Sultan of Ice" Herb Brooks, Blackjack Sullivan (KHL)
Steven M. Shotliff

LATIN: The 499 World Champion, Adult Stars Sophia Leone, Elena Heiress (ECL)
Matt Yunick; 521; edged EDGE: Toy, Toy Truck, A Few Different Toys (HLL)

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES

1. NWL (1,532 matches) 449.833

2. LWL (1,155 matches) 491.458

3. BRL (818 matches) 492.562
won the two matches for $1 cycle for having the highest average strategy total (counting only active wrestlers)

4. IWL (652 matches) 490.795
NBL (652 matches) 491.811

6. UWL (578 matches) 492.400

7. ECL (448 matches) 490.515

8. AWL (447 matches) 491.710

9. GRL (446 matches) 490.816

10. KHL (434 matches) 487.890

 

TOP 20 VICTORIES -- active wrestlers only

1. Arsenal (XWL) 13,793-1,747-490

2. APO: Gypsy Rose Lee (ECL) 11,651-2,786-802

3. Mike Drake (HWL) 10,222-1,046-273

4. Johnny "2 Kold" Koolakowski (IGL) 9,816-348-76

5. VIRUS: Cpl. Punishment (LBL) 8,430-519-131

6. BLOOD: Sir Gunther Kinderwacht (BRL) 7,919-712-179

7. LPPF: Innovator of Arrogance Keith A. Maple (XPL) 7,815-687-194

8. Kaptain Kryptonite (NBL) 7,307-1,490-469

9. LPPF: Medieval Tymes (GRL) 6,426-827-147

10. DFI: American Freedom Fighter E.J. (SHL) 5,882-937-271

11. VIRUS: Death Warrant (GWL) 5,862-478-105

12. SITH: Darth Carnage (NSL) 5,825-946-157

13. SITH: Darth Thanatos (NSL) 5,792-926-159

14. SITH: Darth Avatar (NSL) 5,719-903-169

15. SITH: Darth Ravage (NSL) 5,710-914-166

16. SITH: Darth Bedlam (NSL) 5,691-978-153

17. TSD: The Survivor (ECL) 5,679-1,386-283

18. BLOOD: Wonderful Wally Brown (GRL) 5,451-543-191

19. PAIN: Dragon Tzu (AAL) 5,260-2,105-459

20. "Mr. Everything" Kirk Lockran (AWL) 5,253-1,232-247

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

Iron Federation

Center Stage, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Heroes and Legends, Iron Man, Main Event, Quick Pin, Xtreme Poison

Steel Federation

American Wrestling, Classic Championship Wrestling, Fighting Legends, Intense Impact, King of Kings, Last Man Standing, Man Up, Mid-Atlantic Wrestling Legacy, New Blood, Old School, Vicious Valkyries

Gold Federation

All Star, Battle Royal, Blood Bath, Continental Wrestling, Global Wrestling, Independent Wrestling, Knight's Honor, Mexican Mayhem, Mystic Diva, National Wrestling, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death, Triple Threat

Diamond Federation

At Bat, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Lethal Brawling, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling

Bronze Federation

American Extreme, American Outlaw, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hardcore Superstars, Iron Glove, Living Nightmare, Strong Style Wrestling, Torture Chamber, Unknown Wrestler

Jade Federation

Atomic Age, Combat Zone, Deluxe Wrestling, Jade Dragon, Lone Wolf, Lovely Ladies, Primal Rage, Psychotic Killer, Super Hero, Super Villain, Wrestlers Elite

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