IWA REPORT
Vol. 20, No. 11 -- August 2015
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JOHNNY B SAYS

We're celebrating our 30th anniversary, and it's all thanks to you! As a small token of our esteem, we're offering a special deal next cycle: for every $12 you spend on matches, you can send one of your wrestlers against the 30 lowest ranked wrestlers instead of the bottom 20! See your Match Selection Sheet for details.

A big thank you goes out to everyone who helped make the IWA what it is today. We never could have reached this milestone without your involvement. Thanks to all the players for creating memorable characters, supplying entertaining trash talk, and making our various leagues competitive and worth joining. Thanks to all the artists who freely shared their tremendous talent for the enjoyment of everyone in their leagues. Thanks to all the commissioners for taking time out of their busy schedules to provide their fellow players with engaging storylines, exciting contests, and quality newsletters, and for making each league more than the sum of its parts. Thanks to everyone who made a difference to our other players, no matter how small it may have seemed at the time; know that it mattered to us.

We appreciate the effort that each of you has put into this game known as the Imaginary Wrestling Association. You are the reason we do what we do, and you are the reason our game is so much fun.

We're truly honored to have been a part of your lives for the past 30 years, and are looking forward to seeing everything you dream up in the years to come!

 

HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES -- engraved plaque

"The Game" Tony Pesante of New York

Æ: "Vicious" Vida Guerra (FSL) 1,006-106-24, $1,307,900 *19
Æ: Sergeant Snorkel (FSL) 1,009-140-26, $1,497,900 *25

 

WORLD, U.S., KING OF THE RING

World Champion

VIRUS/LPPF: Juggalo (GRL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; 501; $300,000 + 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt & 50 free matches

F.B. III, Mitchell J., Becky L., Francis G., John V., Mike K., James D., Robb D., & Shane D.

A picture is worth a thousand words! No one believed the Infection could spread this far, yet here we are! So get your shots! Stockpile some antidote! Load up on food and water for up to a year! Do what you can do to survive! You all can run, but you can't hide! NO ONE is immune to the deadly VIRUS!

(For a full write-up, join the GRL THIS CYCLE!)

U.S. Champion

Æ/LPPF: Ryan Steel (LBL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi; 501; $60,000 + a plaque or 25 free matches; edged EDGE: Clark Pierpont (CWL)

King of the Ring

EDGE: John Crenshaw (AEL)
Rich Reilly of New Jersey; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; 275 KotR total; hold positions were 3, 4, 6, 8, 9, 11, 12, 14; battle royal hold positions were 1, 2, 5, 7, 9, 10, 13, 15

 

SPECIALTY TITLES -- $25,000 + 10 free matches

American Champion

EDGE: John Crenshaw (AEL)
Rich Reilly of New Jersey; 501

Asiatic Champion

Æ/LPPF: Modern Day Warrior (NBL)
Keith A. Maple of Ohio; edged EDGE/JERKSS: The Hitman (CSL)

Hardcore Champion

VIRUS/LPPF: Juggalo (GRL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; 501; edged ARMY/FMR: Dregg (XWL)

Metropolitan Champion

EDGE: Konik (IWL)
Andrew Konik of Michigan; 499; 15 free matches

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS -- $40,000 + 25 free matches

Iron Federation Champion

EDGE: Dr. Destruction David Tower (IML)
Mike Dorsett of New York; manager retained title; 499; edged MWC: The Rockin' Redneck (QPL)

Steel Federation Champion

Classic: Jerry Funk (ESL)
Terrance Haggard of Illinois; 499

Gold Federation Champion

Æ: "Vicious" Vida Guerra (FSL)
"The Game" from Parts Unknown; manager retained title; 501

Diamond Federation Champion

EDGE: Masked Warrior 7 (NFL)
Rich Reilly of New Jersey; 501; edged Æ/LPPF: Puppetmaster Michael Eaves (LBL), EDGE: The Dark Knight (ABL), ARMY/FMR: Dregg (XWL)

Bronze Federation Champion

VIRUS/LPPF: Juggalo (GRL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; 501; edged EDGE: Beautiful Buboy Fernandez (HSL), EDGE: John Crenshaw (AEL)

Jade Federation Champion

EDGE: "Second Place" Derik Davis (PAL)
Garett Guzman of Nevada

 

NATIONAL, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS -- $20,000

National Champion

Æ/LPPF: King Kaos (XWL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; Pacific region

Atlantic Champion

KDSN: Every Man's Dream Kimberly Kardashian (EHL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 500

Central Champion

Æ/LPPF: King Krusher (TDL)
Michael Eaves; 499; edged ARMY/FMR: Tragedy (XWL), EDGE/JERKSS: Money (GRL)

Dixie Champion

EDGE: Masked Warrior 4 (NFL)
Rich Reilly of New Jersey; 500; edged Æ: Hired Gun #2 (MML)

Eastern Champion

BLOOD: Deadly David Death (GRL)
"Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont; 501

Mountain Champion

EDGE: Coma (IGL)
Joshua Haight of Wisconsin; 501

Northern Champion

KDSN: Tarzan the Satanic Cat (EHL)
Matt Yunick; 500

Prairie Champion

Æ: Joker Jay Baggs (EHL)
Jason Battaglia of New York; 499

Southern Champion

EDGE: The Gate Keeper (SWL)
Mike Dorsett of New York; 500

Western Champion

BLOOD: Mark the Master Duchaine (GRL)
Mark Duchaine; 499; edged FMR/ARMY: Asgald Skjor (XWL)

 

LADIES' TITLES

Ladies' World Champion

KDSN: Kim's Lawyer Laura Wasser (VVL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 499; $40,000 + a plaque or 15 free matches

Ladies' U.S. Champion

Mad Girl
$20,000

Queen of the Ring

Æ: Godzooky (MDL)
Jason Battaglia of New York; 270 QotR total; edged Æ/LPPF: Nasty Nicole Richie (VVL), EDGE: Nikki Blair (LLL)

Ladies' National Champion

KDSN: The Little Brat Kendall Jenner (VVL)
Matt Yunick; 499

Ladies' Tag-team Champions

BB: Blonderella & Lacey Underalls (FFL)
Matt Packard of Pennsylvania

Ladies' U.S. Tag-team Champions

EDGE/JERKSS: Mad Girl & Happy Girl (VVL)
Erik Davis of Washington; manager held titles 3 cycles in a row; 516

World Six-woman Champions

KDSN: Kenya West, Khloe's BFF Malika, Kim's Hero Jennifer Lopez (MDL)
Matt Yunick

U.S. Six-woman Champions

KDSN: Dash Employee Carrie, North's Nannies #1, #2 (MDL)
Matt Yunick

 

TAG-TEAM TITLES

World Tag-team Champions

EDGE: The 4th Disciple & Skillz (OSL)
Rich Reilly of New Jersey; ranked #7 last time; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

EDGE: Ted Sheckler & Ace Sherbet (HWL)
Jake Duvall of North Carolina

Æ/LPPF: Low Ki & Chris Hero (FLL)
Michael Drake of New Jersey

Top Contenders

4. EDGE/JERKSS: The Kid & The Stomper (CSL)

5. Æ/LPPF: Lyle & Body (QPL)
VIRUS/LPPF: Mr. Felcyn & Mr. Belcher (AWL)

7. EDGE: The Green Knight & The Crimson Knight (LSL)
last of the teams with 516

8. EDGE: Konik & The Great David (IWL)

9. Raffo & Francois Lefebvre (RCL)
VIRUS/LPPF: "Drunk" Terry Flunk & Cactus Sac (GRL)

U.S. Tag-team Champions

EDGE: Mike & Jake Hotshot (LSL)
Joshua Haight of Wisconsin; retained titles; 516; $20,000 + 10 free matches

 

SIX-MAN TITLES

World Six-man Champions

VIRUS/LPPF: The Wild Bushman, The Big Nasty, Creeper (HWL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; manager held titles 7 cycles in a row; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

EDGE: Ricky Martin Lawrence, Tom Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dick Clark Griswold (NSL)
Garett Guzman of Nevada; manager retained titles

EDGE: Dirty, Genius, John Blaze (OSL)
Rich Reilly of New Jersey

Æ/LPPF: Creatures of Habit #1, #2, #3 (LOL)
Keith A. Maple of Ohio

FMR/ARMY: Ned Low, Jack Rackham, Captain Flint (AWL)
Jeff Chambers of Iowa

Top Contenders

6. NYB: Hardriders I, II, III (NFL)
last of the teams with 521

7. EDGE: "The Remarkable" Paul Stevens, "The Prodigy" Grayson King, EDGE/HOTSHOT: Renegade Rick Dalton (GRL)

8. Æ: Dynamite Kid, Kid Swift, Honest Joe Archer (MEL)

9. EDGE: Death Dealer, The Harbinger of Death, The Blue Knight (WSL)
EDGE: "Road Dog" Todd Packer, Deangelo Jeremitrius Vickers, Nicolas Cagefighter (NBL)
KDSN: The Kardashian Housekeeper, Hopeless Romantic Kim Kardashian, Grammy Winner Kanye West (LSL)
MWC: Hooded Soldiers I, II, III (FSL)

U.S. Six-man Champions

VIRUS: Cow Pox, Horse Pox, AIDS (IGL)
VIRUS/LPPF: The Incredible Mr. Wink E, "Jing-A-Ling" Jing-A-Ling, Gone Aria (GRL)
Frank Jay Belcher III; share of $20,000

EDGE: Masked Warriors 12, 13, 14 (NFL)
Rich Reilly

FMR/ARMY: Venatores, Dimachaerus, Retiarius (AWL)
Jeff Chambers; 521; edged EDGE: Everyday Bro, Normal Guy, Regular Dude (NDL)

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES -- veteran leagues only

1. LWL (775 matches) 488.696

2. NBL (724 matches) 492.387

3. IWL (640 matches) 486.451

4. CWL (560 matches) 487.049

5. BBL (464 matches) 477.579

6. BRL (390 matches) 491.564

7. MML (387 matches) 488.588

8. GRL (372 matches) 493.397

9. XWL (348 matches) 494.145
won the two matches for $1 cycle for having the highest average strategy total (counting only active wrestlers)

10. NSL (338 matches) 491.577

 

TOP 20 STARS -- active wrestlers only

1. BLOOD: Wonderful Wally Brown (GRL) 132

2. BLOOD: Sir Gunther Kinderwacht (BRL) 112

3. BLOOD: Sinister Steve Stryker (BRL) 110

4. NYB: Diesel Duddick (NFL) 107

5. Æ/LPPF: Innovator of Arrogance Keith A. Maple (GRL) 100

6. NYB: "The Big Mofo" Anthony Dudick (NFL)
Æ/LPPF: Medieval Tymes (GRL) 98

8. Æ/LPPF: Bloody Assault Jessica Lee Richards (LLL) 95

9. BLOOD: Nightmare Sam Hell (BRL) 92

10. BLOOD: Lord of Illusions (BRL) 90

11. EDGE/DT: Mike White Lightning Moore (QPL)
Steve "The Sandman" Sands (KKL) 89

13. Johnny "2 Kold" Koolakowski (IGL) 87

14. Executioner (LBL) 85

15. Æ/LPPF: Alpha Male (BRL) 84

16. BLOOD: Mark the Master Duchaine (GRL) 81

17. BLOOD: Buda Von Blitzen (XPL)
EDGE: Black Knight (IML)
EDGE: Mike White Lightning Moore (MML)
EDGE: Ollis Rage (JDL)
SA: Mister Chad Champion (IGL) 80

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

Iron Federation

Center Stage, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Iron Man, Main Event, New Global, Quick Pin, Wrestling Superstars, Xtreme Poison

Steel Federation

American Wrestling, Eastern States Wrestling, Fighting Legends, Intense Impact, King of Kings, Last Man Standing, Mid-Atlantic Wrestling Legacy, New Blood, Old School, Vicious Valkyries

Gold Federation

All Star, Battle Royal, Blood Bath, Caged Lion, Continental Wrestling, Fighting Superstars, Independent Wrestling, Mexican Mayhem, Mystic Diva, National Wrestling, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death, Triple Threat

Diamond Federation

American Bodyslam, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Lethal Brawling, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling

Bronze Federation

American Extreme, American Outlaw, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hardcore Superstars, International Global, Strong Style Wrestling, Torture Chamber

Jade Federation

Atomic Age, Jade Dragon, Lone Wolf, Lovely Ladies, Primal Rage, Psychotic Killer, Pure Adrenaline, Super Hero, Super Villain, Wrestlers Elite

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