IWA REPORT
Vol. 20, No. 8 -- June 2015
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HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES -- engraved plaque

Kelvin Hill of Virginia

"Mr. Powerful" Ken Lambeau (PKL) 17,672-2,112-517, $22,140,600 *49
For real this time.

Chester Wright of Michigan

YRN: Joey "Tinman" Monkelis (ASL) 1,031-363-94, $2,108,500 *31
YRN: Nick "Enigma" Monkelis (ASL) 1,004-335-81, $1,886,700 *25
YRN: Omari "Mayhem" Peoples (ASL) 1,008-330-91, $2,098,400 *25

 

WORLD, U.S., KING OF THE RING

World Champion

FMR: Comedy and Podcast Hero (ASL)
Kevin Elrod of Ohio; 501; $300,000 + 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt & 50 free matches

It's amateur night at the Chuckle Hut in Willowick, Ohio. Headlining the show is everyone's favorite amateur, FMR: Comedy and Podcast Hero.

"Hello, IWA! I just flew in from Sandusky and, boy, are my arms tired! Take my wife... please! Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his iPod was over there and he needed to listen to my Podcast! Why? For I am the WORLD CHAMP, a milestone over five years in the making for Kevin Elrod. Speaking of Mr. Elrod, he told me a joke: 'What's a pirate's favorite letter?' The R, I say, but Elrod goes, 'No, it's the C!' Cut-It-Out. LOVE ME, PEOPLE! For I am your hero! Why? Because I said so! Okay, everyone in the Chuckle Hut, up on stage, all two of you!"

The couple looks at each other in disbelief, but relents.

"Selfie time! This belt and my two new besties at the Chuckle Hut. On three, guys, say, 'FMR BESTIES!' One... two... tha-REE: FMR BESTIES!!! I am the WORLD CHAMP, WOOO!!!"

Comedy and Podcast Hero proceeds to pull a Groucho Marx mask from a bag and does a Ric Flair strut across the stage.

"I don't care if you are the only two people here to see me! FOR I AM YOUR COMEDY AND PODCAST HERO!!! THE CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!!! (And the American champ, but who's counting?) And for all that is IWA holy... I thank you! #playbymailbesties #FMRBFF's"

U.S. Champion

EDGE/420: Spliff Longo (FSL)
Garett Guzman of Nevada; 501; $60,000 + a plaque or 25 free matches

King of the Ring

Æ/JERKSS: Casino Jack (GRL)
Erik Davis of Washington; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; 271 KotR total; hold positions were 2, 4, 7, 8, 10, 12, 13, 14; battle royal hold positions were 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9, 11, 15

 

SPECIALTY TITLES -- $25,000 + 10 free matches

American Champion

FMR: Comedy and Podcast Hero (ASL)
Kevin Elrod of Ohio; 501

Asiatic Champion

FMR: Yankee Doodle Elrod (NDL)
Kevin Elrod; 499; edged EDGE: MT-33 (JDL), BLOOD: Little Orphan Amphetamine (NAL)

Hardcore Champion

Æ/JERKSS: Big Blue (PKL)
Erik Davis of Washington; 499

Metropolitan Champion

The Arabian Dream Ali Atari (LWL)
Matt Riley of Massachusetts; 499; 10 free matches

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS -- $40,000 + 25 free matches

Iron Federation Champion

Æ/LPPF: Dr. Feelgood (EEL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi; edged EDGE: Rocco the Wonder Mutt (NGL); manager's 67th career Federation title

Steel Federation Champion

BLOOD: Killer Karl Kowalski (MWL)
"Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont; 499; edged EDGE: Caramelquake (KKL)

Gold Federation Champion

FMR: Comedy and Podcast Hero (ASL)
Kevin Elrod of Ohio; 501

Diamond Federation Champion

EDGE: Hugh Jestpythons (RCL)
Silky Sulky Sully Sullivan of Canada; 500; edged EDGE: John Wayne Gretzky (NSL)

Bronze Federation Champion

MWC: Pete the Geek (IGL)
Steven M. Shotliff of Minnesota; 499

Jade Federation Champion

EDGE: The Heartbreaker Bryce Magnum (WEL)
Chris Capps of South Carolina; 500

 

NATIONAL, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS -- $20,000

National Champion

Æ: Self-Righteous (IML)
Michael Giuliano of Connecticut; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; Pacific region

Atlantic Champion

EDGE: The Patient (SVL)
Garett Guzman of Nevada; 500

Central Champion

EDGE: Bobby Digital (OSL)
Rich Reilly of New Jersey; 500; edged Æ: Lapetus (HSL)

Dixie Champion

Æ: Viktor Von Hack (SWL)
"The Game" from Parts Unknown; 501

Eastern Champion

Jakey Oh Baby (LWL)
Jake Duvall of North Carolina; 501

Mountain Champion

EDGE: Smoke Daddy (SVL)
Garett Guzman; 499; edged EDGE: "Y2SJ" Shareef Johnson (CLL)

Northern Champion

Æ/JERKSS: Casino Jack (GRL)
Erik Davis of Washington; 501

Prairie Champion

ARMY/FMR: "Lone Drifter" Jackson Kutler (AAL)
Donald Henry of Illinois; 500

Southern Champion

EDGE: The Hustler Hank Magnum (WEL)
Chris Capps of South Carolina; edged Æ: Jimmy Havok (CLL)

Western Champion

Æ/LPPF: David Von Damme (MWL)
Keith A. Maple of Ohio; 499; edged The Scoundrel (BRL), VIRUS: Influenza (IGL), BLOOD: Fireball (NAL)

 

LADIES' TITLES

Ladies' World Champion

EDGE: Dreamgirl Dana Powers (VVL)
"The Immortal" Shareef Johnson of New Jersey; 499; $40,000 + a plaque or 15 free matches; edged EDGE: Andrea the Giant (MDL)

Ladies' U.S. Champion

Æ/JERKSS: Little Lady (LLL)
Erik Davis of Washington; 499; $20,000; edged EDGE: Macho Woman Ryan Savage (MDL)

Queen of the Ring

Æ/JERKSS: Pop Girl (FFL)
Erik Davis; 271 QotR total

Ladies' National Champion

EDGE: Big Boss Woman (MDL)
EDGE: Brittney the Barber Beefcake (MDL)
EDGE: Georgette the Animal Steele (MDL)
EDGE: The Honky Tonk Woman (MDL)
EDGE: Road Dogg Jenna James (MDL)
EDGE: Superfly Jenny Snuka (MDL)
Shareef Johnson; 499

Ladies' Tag-team Champions

BLOOD: "Sick Girl" Isabelle Shea & "Hard Candy" Hayley Stark (LLL)
Anthony Dudick of New York; 516

Ladies' U.S. Tag-team Champions

FMR: Knights of the Queensguard #3 & #4 (MDL)
Anthony Fazio from Parts Unknown; edged Æ/JERKSS: Cleaning Lady & Rebel Tela (LLL)

World Six-woman Champions

BLOOD: "Cherry Bomb" Christy Vendetta, Debbie "Dumpster" Pitsicalis, NYB: "The Little One" Lenore Dudick (LLL)
Anthony Dudick; 521

U.S. Six-woman Champions

FMR: Shield Maidens of Isengard, Mordor, Moria (MDL)
Anthony Fazio; held titles 3 cycles in a row

 

TAG-TEAM TITLES

World Tag-team Champions

BLOOD: Fatty the Butcher & Hot $tuff Adam Ca$h (BRL)
Matt Riley of Massachusetts; manager retained titles; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

FMR: Newtown Hoax & Second Amendment (NDL)
Kevin Elrod of Ohio

VIRUS: Rabies & Mumps (SHL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan

Æ: Punishment & Casualty (KKL)
Robbie "Blood" Pawelek of Chicago, Illinois

Æ: Bobby King & Professor S (FLL)
Sly Smith of West Virginia & Michael Drake of New Jersey

Top Contenders

6. EDGE: Dark Knight & Fearless Frank Flamingo (LSL)

7. MWC: "Sexy" Lenny Nightmare & Blackjack Sullivan (FSL)
Æ/LPPF: Half Man & Half Amazing (NBL)

9. Æ/JERKSS: Dash & Stash (TTL)
Æ/JERKSS: Smart & The Dork (WEL)

11. ARMY/FMR: "El Sicario" Oscar Leyva & "El Chapo" Felix Beltran (AAL)

12. BLOOD/NYB: Denied & Sworn Enemy (PAL)

13. X/ARMY: Crimson Wolf & Lucifer Kane (ESL)
last of the teams with 516

U.S. Tag-team Champions

Æ: Masked MCA & Torture MD (FLL)
Sly Smith & Michael Drake; 516; $20,000; edged Æ/JERKSS: Numbers One & Three (BRL), EDGE: "The Alliterating" Adam Aranovski & Chud the Lithe Rhinocerus (WEL), VIRUS: CNS Symptoms & Parvo (SHL), Great Dragon & Lightning Tiger (ESL)

 

SIX-MAN TITLES

World Six-man Champions

VIRUS: HTNV, HFRS, HPV (SHL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; manager held titles 4 cycles in a row; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

NYB: "Smoke Frog" Felipe, "Cocoa Leaf" Lorenzo, "Jaguar Paw" Jacob Youngblood (PAL)
Anthony Dudick of New York; manager retained titles

MWC: Dudley Smiley, "Flamboyant" Johnny Stewart, Tig O'Bitty (FSL)
Steven M. Shotliff of Minnesota; manager retained titles

EDGE: Jamaal Charles Bronson, Notorious Neal Page, Devious Del Griffith (NSL)
Garett Guzman of Nevada; manager retained titles

FMR: Articles of Confederation, Infowars, Inalienable Rights (NDL)
Kevin Elrod of Ohio

ARMY/FMR: "Hardcore Icon" Jason Webb, "Punisher" Duane Williams, "Homicidal" Jose Medina (TTL)
Donald Henry of Illinois

Æ/LPPF: Sam Hanson, Ross, Marshall Von Damme (MWL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi (Hanson) & Keith A. Maple of Ohio

Æ/LPPF: Robbie Blood, Judge, Jason Rogue (BRL)
Robbie "Blood" Pawelek of Chicago, Illinois, Keith A. Maple, Michael Eaves

Top Contenders

9. EDGE: Ravishing Rick Sessions, Magnificent Mike Sims, Bad Boy Barry Layne (CWL)
last of the teams with 521

10. EDGE: Electric Uncle Sam, Dirty Drowning Man, Captain Shiner (FJL)
EDGE: "Everybody" Wang Chun Li, Frizzy the Lanky Sloth, The Fury Fist (WEL)
EDGE: Warped Drive, Buda Von Winnershong, Brother Beatdown (OSL)
NYB: "The Fabulous Doola" Francis DaBone, "Sugar Cookie" Christian Sweet, & (NFL)

U.S. Six-man Champions

EDGE: Normal Guy, Ordinary Fella, Regular Dude (NDL)
Garett Guzman; manager retained titles; share of $20,000

VIRUS: Scabies, Trichomoniasis, Encephalitis (SHL)
Frank Jay Belcher III; manager retained titles

Æ/LPPF: Hear No Evil, Money Hungry Bandit James A. Brisco, "Mr. NAL 2014" Benjamin C. Washington (NAL)
Keith A. Maple; manager retained titles

ARMY/FMR: "Ghetto Superstar" Shedrick Porter, "Rated MA Renegade" Tyreese Crenshaw, "Urban American Dream" Leon Walls (JDL)
Donald Henry; 521

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES -- veteran leagues only

1. IWL (850 matches) 490.043

2. LWL (842 matches) 487.778

3. MML (801 matches) 491.926

4. GRL (598 matches) 489.931

5. BRL (534 matches) 491.892

6. XWL (491 matches) 462.558

7. NBL (473 matches) 489.519

8. NSL (406 matches) 492.211

9. CWL (382 matches) 492.675
won the two matches for $1 cycle for having the highest average strategy total (counting only active wrestlers)

10. BBL (380 matches) 474.216

 

TOP 20 STARS -- active wrestlers only

1. BLOOD: Wonderful Wally Brown (GRL) 129

2. BLOOD: Sir Gunther Kinderwacht (BRL) 110

3. BLOOD: Sinister Steve Stryker (BRL) 109

4. NYB: Diesel Duddick (NFL) 105

5. Æ/LPPF: Innovator of Arrogance Keith A. Maple (XPL) 99

6. NYB: "The Big Mofo" Anthony Dudick (NFL)
Æ/LPPF: Medieval Tymes (GRL) 96

8. Æ/LPPF: Bloody Assault Jessica Lee Richards (LLL) 95

9. BLOOD: Nightmare Sam Hell (BRL) 91

10. BLOOD: Lord of Illusions (BRL) 90

11. EDGE/DT: Mike White Lightning Moore (QPL)
Steve "The Sandman" Sands (KKL) 88

13. Johnny "2 Kold" Koolakowski (IGL) 85

14. Executioner (LBL) 84

15. Æ/LPPF: Alpha Male (BRL) 83

16. BLOOD: Buda Von Blitzen (XPL)
BLOOD: Mark the Master Duchaine (GRL)
EDGE: Black Knight (IML)
EDGE: Mike White Lightning Moore (MML)
EDGE: Ollis Rage (JDL) 79

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

Iron Federation

Center Stage, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Iron Man, Main Event, New Global, Quick Pin, Wrestling Superstars, Xtreme Poison

Steel Federation

American Wrestling, Eastern States Wrestling, Fighting Legends, Intense Impact, King of Kings, Last Man Standing, Mid-Atlantic Wrestling Legacy, New Blood, Old School, Vicious Valkyries

Gold Federation

All Star, Battle Royal, Blood Bath, Caged Lion, Continental Wrestling, Fighting Superstars, Independent Wrestling, Mexican Mayhem, Mystic Diva, National Wrestling, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death, Triple Threat

Diamond Federation

American Bodyslam, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Lethal Brawling, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling

Bronze Federation

American Extreme, American Outlaw, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hardcore Superstars, International Global, Strong Style Wrestling, Torture Chamber

Jade Federation

Atomic Age, Jade Dragon, Lone Wolf, Lovely Ladies, Primal Rage, Psychotic Killer, Pure Adrenaline, Super Hero, Super Villain, Wrestlers Elite

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