IWA REPORT
Vol. 20, No. 6 -- Spring 2015
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STABLECADE 2015

This year, the Kardashian stable came out on top! We took the five best strategy totals from each group that signed up, and KDSN had the highest average. A prize of $100,000 in imaginary earnings went to each member of the extended family, listed below.

  • Matt Yunick of New York
    AAL: Kim's Husband Kanye West, Kimye's Baby Nori West, Sensitive Khloe Kardashian, Talented Kimmy Kardashian
    ECL: Kim's Lovely Manager Kris Jenner, Socialite Khloe Kardashian, Socialite Kourtney Kardashian, World's Greatest Father Bruce Jenner
    EEL: Fashion Diva Nori West, Fashion Guru Kanye West, Kendall's Servant Angel, Producer Eliot Goldberg, Producer Jeff Jenkins, World's Greatest Sister Kimberly K.
    HWL: The Little Brat North West, World's Greatest Father Robert K.
    JDL: Kim's First Boyfriend T.J. Jackson, Motivational Speaker Bruce Jenner, QuickTrim Spokeswoman Kim Kardashian, The Mature Sister Kourtney Kardashian
    LOL: Armenian Princess Kim Kardashian, Khloe's Boss Michael Yo, Khloe's Friend Terrence, Kim's Friend Beyonce
    MDL: Dash Employee Carrie, Kenya West, Sexy Mother Kris Jenner, World's Greatest Sister Kourtney K.
    NBL: Jealous Sister Khloe K., Kim's Former Boyfriend Nick Cannon, Liberal Mother Kris Jenner, Prudish Father Bruce Jenner
    NDL: "Karate" Kimberly Kardashian, Lousy Cheerleader Kris Jenner, "Princess" North West, "Queen" Kim Kardashian
    TCL: Fitness Guru Kim Kardashian, Kardashian Security Guard, Khloe's Former Husband Lamar Odom, Kim's Baby North West, "Overweight" Rob Kardashian, Party Goer Kourtney Kardashian, The Game's Nemesis Bruce Jenner, World's Greatest Mother Kris Jenner
    VVL: 10% Kris Jenner, Kanye's Mother Donda West, Nutritionist Kathy Kaehler, Substance Free Kimmy Kardashian

The stables below are ranked by the average strategy total of the five best members in each:

498.2 KDSN
497.4 FMR
497 independent wrestlers
494 Æ
493.6 HOH
490.8 CC
490.6 LWL
490.4 AWF
490 YRN
486.4 GCW

 

HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES -- engraved plaque

Chris Banahan of Massachusetts

Brady Raines (MWL) 1,270-271-47, $2,245,200 *16

Nicholas Hill of Georgia

Classic: James Pittman (MML) 1,000-403-124, $1,721,300 *35

 

WORLD, U.S., KING OF THE RING

World Champion

Æ: Revolution Wrestler Sonya (SWL)
Michael Drake of New Jersey; 501; $300,000 + 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt & 50 free matches

U.S. Champion

Æ: Mike Vicious (SWL)
Michael Drake; 501; $60,000 + a plaque or 25 free matches

King of the Ring

Mike Vicious
a plaque or 25 free matches; 275 KotR total; edged MWC: Pit Boss (FSL; lesser overall total); hold positions were 1, 3, 4, 5, 10, 11, 13, 15; battle royal hold positions were 2, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 12, 14

 

SPECIALTY TITLES -- $25,000 + 10 free matches

American Champion

Æ: Revolution Wrestler Sonya (SWL)
Michael Drake of New Jersey; 501

Asiatic Champion

FMR: Cosimo de'Medici (CSL)
Anthony Fazio from Parts Unknown; 500; edged Æ: The Dangerous Dwarf (TCL)

Hardcore Champion

Æ/LPPF: Medieval Tymes (GRL)
Keith A. Maple of Ohio; 500

Metropolitan Champion

Creed Michaels (IWL)
missed title by point flow last time
Doug Gavelon (CWL)
Travis Larrabee of Pennsylvania; 501; 10 free matches

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS -- $40,000 + 25 free matches

Iron Federation Champion

Bloodstone (IML)
Dominick Valenti of New York; 501

Steel Federation Champion

APO: G-Child (AWL)
Giovanni Rentas of Florida; 500

Gold Federation Champion

Creed Michaels (IWL)
Doug Gavelon (CWL)
Travis Larrabee of Pennsylvania; 501

Diamond Federation Champion

BLOOD: Johnny "The Hefty Smallhead" Forlanini (NFL)
Anthony Dudick of New York; manager retained title; 499

Bronze Federation Champion

Æ: Revolution Wrestler Sonya (SWL)
Michael Drake of New Jersey; 501; edged Æ: Cronus (HSL), EDGE: The Ultimate Fighter Rick Magnum (AOL)

Jade Federation Champion

EDGE: Stryker Von Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenberg (WEL)
Chris Capps of South Carolina; edged KDSN: Kourtney's Mole (JDL), FMR/ARMY: Pillpopper (AAL)

 

NATIONAL, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS -- $20,000

National Champion

BLOOD: "ChromeSkull" Jesse Cromeans (HSL)
Anthony Dudick of New York; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; Northern region

Atlantic Champion

EDGE: Iron Lung (HSL)
Garett Guzman of Nevada; 501

Central Champion

EDGE: "Thug Life" SJ Perfect (FLL)
"The Immortal" Shareef Johnson of New Jersey; 501

Dixie Champion

Æ: CM Punk (SWL)
Michael Drake of New Jersey; 501

Eastern Champion

HOH: Jason Hixenbaugh, Jr. (MML)
Jason Hixenbaugh of Georgia; 501

Mountain Champion

The Vulcan (IML)
Dominick Valenti of New York; 501

Pacific Champion

Æ/TSD: "The Bean Town Thriller" Albert DeSalvo (NBL)
Michael Giuliano of Connecticut; 500

Prairie Champion

EDGE: The Iconic SJ Perfect (FLL)
Shareef Johnson; 500

Southern Champion

EDGE: The Illustrious Ishtar (IML)
Mike Dorsett of New York; 499; edged Æ/TSD: "The Mad Dog" David Berkowitz (NBL)

Western Champion

EDGE: Disciple of Terror 11 (AEL)
Rich Reilly of New Jersey; 501

 

LADIES' TITLES

Ladies' World Champion

EDGE: The Hulkster Heather Hogan (MDL)
"The Immortal" Shareef Johnson of New Jersey; 500; $40,000 + a plaque or 15 free matches

Ladies' U.S. Champion

EDGE: Doomtrigger Delorian Powers (VVL)
Shareef Johnson; $20,000

Queen of the Ring

EDGE: Superfly Jenny Snuka (MDL)
Shareef Johnson; 270 QotR total

Ladies' National Champion

EDGE: Macho Woman Ryan Savage (MDL)
Shareef Johnson; edged Æ/JERKSS: Scary Lady (LLL), KDSN: Kim's Lawyer Laura Wasser (VVL), KDSN: World's Greatest Sister Kourtney K. (MDL)

Ladies' Tag-team Champions

Æ/LPPF: Bloody Assault Jessica Lee Richards & Knockout Specialist Rebecca Streets (LLL)
Keith A. Maple of Ohio

Ladies' U.S. Tag-team Champions

Æ/JERKSS: It_Girls 2 & 4 (MDL)
Erik Davis of Washington; manager held titles 3 cycles in a row; 516

World Six-woman Champions

Æ/JERKSS: Sad, Mad, Happy Girls (VVL)
Erik Davis; edged KDSN: Kimye's Baby North West, North's Nannies #1, #2 (MDL), NYB: "The Little One" Lenore Dudick, BLOOD: Debbie "Dumpster" Pitsicalis, "The Angel of Mercy" Melissa Trueblood (LLL)

U.S. Six-woman Champions

FMR: Shield Maidens of Isengard, Mordor, Moria (MDL)
Anthony Fazio from Parts Unknown

 

TAG-TEAM TITLES

World Tag-team Champions

EDGE: Dirty & John Blaze (OSL)
Rich Reilly of New Jersey; manager retained titles; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

EDGE: The Blue Knight & The Bone Knight (LSL)
Mike Dorsett of New York

EDGE: "The Alliterating" Adam Aranovski & Chud the Lithe Rhinocerus (WEL)
Silky Sulky Sully Sullivan of Canada

FMR/ARMY: "El Sicario" Oscar Leyva & "El Chapo" Felix Beltran (AAL)
Donald Henry of Illinois

Æ: Superstar Billy Green & Inspectah Deck (SWL)
Sly Smith of West Virginia & Michael Drake of New Jersey

Top Contenders

6. Æ: Bob Onya & Bazinga (IIL)
Æ: Billy King & Nate Hatred (FLL)
Classic: "Doctor of Desire" Dominic Pierce & William Ramsey (ESL)
EDGE: Renegade Rocky Stone & Radical Rick Headstone (BRL)
VIRUS: Juggalo & Cactus Sac (GRL)

11. VIRUS: The Angry Beaver & The Mysterious Beaver (TDL)

12. EDGE: Hotshot R.L. Bream & Hotstuff O.P. Roberts (TTL)

13. MWC: Dudley Smiley & Blackjack Sullivan (FSL)
Æ: Finn Balor & National #2 (CLL)
EDGE: Mischievous Smitty & Tommy Unpleasante (AEL)

16. Milton Schnozzbuster & Pokey McSnail (AWL)
last of the teams with 516

U.S. Tag-team Champions

Æ: Masked President Nixon & Countess Arrogance (SWL)
Sly Smith & Michael Drake; 516; $20,000; edged EDGE: The Green Knight & The Crimson Knight (LSL), Æ: Superstar Billy Green & Canadian Hardcore (FLL), EDGE: Mike White Lightning Moore & Deathblow (GRL), Hot $tuff Adam Ca$h & Fatty the Butcher (TTL), Æ: Ghostface Billah & Masked Pee Wee Herman (CLL), VIRUS: Ghouly & Drooly Ghouly (KKL)

 

SIX-MAN TITLES

World Six-man Champions

EDGE: The Man in Black, Death Incarnate, Death Magnet (WSL)
Mike Dorsett of New York; retained titles; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

VIRUS: STD, The Wild Bushman, Mr. Rogers (HWL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; retained titles

KDSN: The Original Rob Kardashian, Producers Farnaz Farjam, Ryan Seacrest (ECL)
Matt Yunick of New York

Æ: Sheik Yerbutti, CM Punk, Brody Lee (MEL)
Sly Smith of West Virginia (Yerbutti) & Michael Drake of New Jersey

Top Contenders

5. Shotgun James Carnage, Blackjack Robertson, Texas Jesse Tombstone (IWL)

6. BLOOD: Murder, Death, Kill (HSL)

7. EDGE: Swisher O'Doobie, "Perverted Justice" Jake Silva, "Second Place" Derik Davis (PAL)

8. FMR/ARMY: "Lone Drifter" Jackson Kutler, "Voice of Dissent" Tyrone Duncan, "Queen of Extreme" Keisha Watts (AAL)
last of the teams with 521

9. KDSN: Kanye's Wallet, Kim's Purse, Kardashian Dog Rocky (SWL)
KDSN/X-NATION: Prudish Father Bruce Jenner, Kardashian Pal O.J. Simpson, Investigator Jake Schmidt (NBL)
EDGE: Mischievous Smitty, Stevey Beefaroni, Tommy Unpleasante (AEL)

U.S. Six-man Champions

EDGE: The Yellow Knight, The Ebony Knight, The Crimson Knight (PRL)
Mike Dorsett; share of $20,000

Æ: Homicide, Dirk Draven, Kill Slayer #3 (MEL)
Michael Drake & Sly Smith (Slayer); 521; edged BLOOD: "The Jackal" Ryan Kuhn, "The Hammer" George Markley, "The Juggernaut" Horace Mahoney (HSL), KDSN: Kim's Future Husband Matt Y., The Forgotten Kardashian, Yet Another Kardashian (ECL), VIRUS: Influenza, Spanish Flu, Shingles (IGL)

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES -- veteran leagues only

1. MML (808 matches) 491.991

2. IWL (734 matches) 492.543

3. LWL (691 matches) 485.261

4. XWL (660 matches) 473.947

5. GRL (509 matches) 490.634

6. CWL (392 matches) 490.250

7. BRL (378 matches) 492.945
won the two matches for $1 cycle for having the highest average strategy total (counting only active wrestlers)

8. ECL (372 matches) 488.042

9. IGL (362 matches) 492.765

10. NSL (342 matches) 491.615

 

TOP 20 VICTORIES -- active wrestlers only

1. Arsenal (XWL) 11,380-1,203-326

2. APO: Gypsy Rose Lee (ECL) 10,766-2,102-626

3. Æ: Mike Drake (HWL) 9,482-904-234

4. Johnny "2 Kold" Koolakowski (IGL) 9,250-283-70

5. JL6: The Hooded Inmate (IML) 8,777-1,451-277

6. VIRUS: Cpl. Punishment (LBL) 7,608-468-124

7. Æ/LPPF: Innovator of Arrogance Keith A. Maple (XPL) 7,400-610-176

8. EDGE/DT: Mike White Lightning Moore (QPL) 7,220-1,749-338

9. BLOOD: Sir Gunther Kinderwacht (BRL) 7,203-684-163

10. FMR: High Stakes Chris Edwards (IGL) 6,936-1,793-182

11. Kaptain Kryptonite (NBL) 6,575-1,108-411

12. Æ/LPPF: Medieval Tymes (GRL) 5,763-725-132

13. DFI: American Freedom Fighter E.J. (SHL) 5,426-886-265

14. Æ/TSD: The Survivor (ECL) 5,386-1,253-258

15. Æ: Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink (ECL) 5,294-1,236-223

16. PAIN: Dragon Tzu (AAL) 5,151-2,045-451

17. VIRUS: Death Warrant (CLL) 5,106-398-87

18. PAIN: Manitou (AAL) 5,081-2,003-429

19. SITH: Darth Carnage (NSL) 5,061-818-136

20. SITH: Darth Thanatos (NSL) 5,023-780-134

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

Iron Federation

Center Stage, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Iron Man, Main Event, New Global, Quick Pin, Wrestling Superstars, Xtreme Poison

Steel Federation

American Wrestling, Eastern States Wrestling, Fighting Legends, Intense Impact, King of Kings, Last Man Standing, Mid-Atlantic Wrestling Legacy, New Blood, Old School, Vicious Valkyries

Gold Federation

All Star, Battle Royal, Blood Bath, Caged Lion, Continental Wrestling, Fighting Superstars, Independent Wrestling, Mexican Mayhem, Mystic Diva, National Wrestling, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death, Triple Threat

Diamond Federation

American Bodyslam, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Lethal Brawling, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling

Bronze Federation

American Extreme, American Outlaw, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hardcore Superstars, International Global, Strong Style Wrestling, Torture Chamber

Jade Federation

Atomic Age, Jade Dragon, Lone Wolf, Lovely Ladies, Primal Rage, Psychotic Killer, Pure Adrenaline, Super Hero, Super Villain, Wrestlers Elite

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