IWA REPORT
Vol. 20, No. 4 -- March 2015
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HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES -- engraved plaque

Blake Morgan and Gary Cassibry, Sr., both of Mississippi

Grease Lightning (FLL) 3,082-1,302-8, $3,677,800
He began his career way back in February of 2007, in the World Wrestling League of the Jade Federation, and ended it in the Fighting Legends League of the Steel Federation. His biggest accomplishment was winning the I Quit title at the 2011 Specialty Championships from the Diamond Federation's American Legion League. He's the thirteenth wrestler to enter the IWA Hall of Fame from the team of Blake Morgan and Gary Cassibry, Sr.

 

WORLD, U.S., KING OF THE RING

World Champion

Æ/LPPF: Bonehead (NBL)
Keith A. Maple of Ohio; 501; $300,000 + 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt & 50 free matches

As Bonehead is handed the World title, highlights of the finish are shown on the TitanTron. When he hits the leaping headbutt and makes the cover, NBL commissioner Melvin Mayhem can be seen jumping for joy, while Uncle Jethro slowly gets out of his rocking chair and applauds in approval. The clip ends and we go to the ring, where Uncle Jethro is now holding the World title, with Bonehead standing behind him. As they soak in the boos from the crowd, Commissioner Melvin Mayhem enters the ring with a mic in hand.

MM: "That's right, people. You have just witnessed the domination of the New Blood League! When I hired the Backwood Hillbillies, I knew it would be profitable. Now, in just a few short months, they have won the World Tag AND World titles for the NBL. Rest assured, it's just the begi--"

Jethro puts his hand over the mic and nods at the commissioner, who slowly releases the mic as the leader of the Hillbillies motions for him to leave the ring. A confused Mayhem looks at Bonehead, and then slowly exits through the ropes.

UJ: "Now that you got your cheap plug, you can leave our ring... Ladies and gentlemen, this World title marks the domination of not the New Blood League, but in fact... the Backwood Hillbillies! This man behind me is the fastest rising star to ever grace a squared circle, and we are not done. As long as the NBL brass continues to write us those big checks, we will continue to bring him the attention his league needs. I would like to challenge anybody to come to the NBL and try to knock us off the mountain top. I would, however, recommend you bring an army..."

He drops the mic, flips the World title back over his shoulder, and nods to Bonehead. The two slowly leave the ring while the crowd continues to boo. Jethro just smiles as they slowly walk up the ramp and exit through the curtain.

U.S. Champion

Æ: Masked Legend (NFL)
Sly Smith of West Virginia; 501; $60,000 + a plaque or 25 free matches

King of the Ring

FMR: Kevin Elrod's America (NDL)
Kevin Elrod of Ohio; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; 273 KotR total; hold positions were 1, 2, 5, 8, 10, 12, 14, 15; battle royal hold positions were 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 11, 13

 

SPECIALTY TITLES -- $25,000 + 10 free matches

American Champion

Æ: Stan Whiskey (ASL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi; 500; edged Æ: Mesphisto (SWL)

Asiatic Champion

Æ/LPPF: Bonehead (NBL)
Keith A. Maple of Ohio; 501; edged FMR: Kevin Elrod's America (NDL)

Hardcore Champion

ARMY: Tragedy (XWL)
Donald Henry of Illinois; edged Æ: Mike Drake (HWL), VIRUS: Sharpshooter Jake Scarlett (MML)

Metropolitan Champion

Bonehead
10 free matches

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS -- $40,000 + 25 free matches

Iron Federation Champion

MEOW: Calvin Kat (IML)
Kay Ritchie of California; edged EVOLUTION: Kurt Angle (XPL), Æ: C.W. Drake (WSL), Æ: Mike Drake (HWL)

Steel Federation Champion

Æ/LPPF: Bonehead (NBL)
Keith A. Maple of Ohio; 501

Gold Federation Champion

FMR: Kevin Elrod's America (NDL)
Kevin Elrod of Ohio; 501

Diamond Federation Champion

Æ: Suicide King (NFL)
Sly Smith of West Virginia; 501

Bronze Federation Champion

EDGE: Beautiful Buboy Fernandez (HSL)
Garett Guzman of Nevada; 501

Jade Federation Champion

Æ: Darren Diamond (SHL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi; 500; edged EDGE: Bigsby the Slender Hippo (WEL); manager's 66th career Federation title

 

NATIONAL, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS -- $20,000

National Champion

Æ: "It's Not Me" Danny Denial (SHL)
Michael Giuliano of Connecticut; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; Northern region; edged BLOOD: "The Iceman" Richard Kuklinski (HSL)

Atlantic Champion

VIRUS: Jim "Doctor Fellgood" Johnson (KKL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; 501

Central Champion

Æ: Hired Mercenary #2 (MML)
"The Game" from Parts Unknown; 500; edged KDSN: Liberal Mother Kris Jenner (NBL), EDGE: Jumpin' Johnny Fawcett (AEL), EDGE: Shadow Warrior (NAL), BLOOD/NYB: Most Precious Blood (PAL), VIRUS: Sweden House (TDL)

Dixie Champion

Æ: Awesome Sean MCA (NFL)
Sly Smith of West Virginia; 501

Eastern Champion

EDGE: Wiggles the Gangly Manatee (WEL)
Silky Sulky Sully Sullivan of Canada; 501

Mountain Champion

KDSN: Kim's Husband Kanye West (NBL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 499; edged Æ: Masked MCA (NFL)

Pacific Champion

Æ: Sly Smith (NFL)
Sly Smith; 500

Prairie Champion

Æ: Larry USSR Koloff (SWL)
"The Game"; 501

Southern Champion

Æ/LPPF: "Suicidal Crank Yanker" Chip Douglas (AAL)
Keith A. Maple of Ohio; edged Æ: Alex Von Crapp (SWL), Æ: Tears (IGL), Æ: The Undersized Urchin (TCL), EDGE: Devious Drake Disaster (LSL), KDSN: Kim's Grandma Cici (LOL)

Western Champion

Æ: Mafioso (IGL)
Michael Giuliano; 501; edged Æ: Viktor Von Hack (SWL)

 

LADIES' TITLES

Ladies' World Champion

KDSN: Substance Free Kimmy Kardashian (VVL)
Matt Yunick of New York; manager retained title; 500; $40,000 + a plaque or 15 free matches

Ladies' U.S. Champion

WC: Wicked Casey Lynne (MDL)
Michael D. Pepple of Massachusetts; 499; $20,000

Queen of the Ring

KDSN: 10% Kris Jenner (VVL)
Matt Yunick; manager retained title; 269 QotR total

Ladies' National Champion

Æ/JERKSS: It_Girl 1 (MDL)
Erik Davis of Washington; manager retained title; 500

Ladies' Tag-team Champions

EDGE: "Barbaric" Becky Katsopolis & "Killer" Kimmy Gibbler (VVL)
Silky Sulky Sully Sullivan of Canada

Ladies' U.S. Tag-team Champions

Æ/JERKSS: Cleaning Lady & Rebel Tela (LLL)
Erik Davis; 516

World Six-woman Champions

KDSN: Kimmy Kardashian, Kim's Friends Larsa Pippen, Lala Anthony
Matt Yunick; manager retained titles; edged WC: Vicious Vicki Valon, Casey Lynne, Knockout Kelly Bundy

U.S. Six-woman Champions

NYB: "The Little One" Lenore Dudick, BLOOD: Debbie "Dumpster" Pitsicalis, "The Angel of Mercy" Melissa Trueblood (LLL)
Anthony Dudick of New York

 

TAG-TEAM TITLES

World Tag-team Champions

Jack "Dash" Bell & Franchise Devon Gold (WSL)
Joshua Haight of Wisconsin; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

EDGE: Fearless Frank & Flawless Floyd Flamingo (LSL)
Mike Dorsett of New York

Top Contenders

3. Æ/JERKSS: The Kid & The Stomper (CSL)

4. MWC: "The Hot Shot" Tommy Hott & Jimmy "The Body" Janos (QPL)
ranked #7 last time

5. Æ: Anthony Boazzo & LOVE: Diamond Stud Warrior Buck Kidd (ECL)

6. EDGE: Leon J. Piledriver & Ronny Q. Suplex (HWL)

7. VIRUS: Pneumonia & Meningitis (SVL)
Æ: One Shot Forgetski & Sly Smith (PRL)

9. EDGE: Cracker Jack Black & Anthony S. Spivey (NDL)

10. Æ: Austin Drake & Syrian Assassin (MEL)

11. VIRUS/GCW: Mr. Felcyn & Mr. Belcher (AWL)
previous champions; last of the teams with 516

U.S. Tag-team Champions

Clever Ernest Hunt & Sadistic James Stone (WSL)
Joshua Haight; 516; $20,000; edged Æ/JERKSS: Smart & The Dork (WEL), EDGE: George Michael Jackson & Dick Clark Griswold (NSL), EDGE: Normal Guy & The Dressed Wombat (NDL), Æ: The 8th Wonder of the World & Narcissism (SHL), Æ: Beast Mode & Tim Donst (PRL), Æ: Superstar Billy Green & "Diamond" Dave Venom (MEL)

 

SIX-MAN TITLES

World Six-man Champions

EDGE/OZ: "Boot Boy" Vern Schillinger, "Ultimate Lawyer" Tobias Beecher, "Nigerian Nightmare" Simon Adebisi (PAL)
Garett Guzman of Nevada; moved up from U.S. titles; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

Æ: Billy King, Canadian Hardcore, Brain Buster Bane (FLL)
Sly Smith of West Virginia (King) & Michael Drake of New Jersey; Drake held titles 3 cycles in a row

Æ: The Unoriginal Orangutan, The Rabid Squirrel, The Misguided Mole (RCL)
Solomon Shaw of Maine

Æ: I'm Not Active, I Don't Care, London Funk (OSL)
Mike Carver of Pennsylvania

Æ: Warrior, Æ/TSD: Tears, Mafioso (NBL)
Michael Giuliano of Connecticut

EDGE: Pete the Mat Technician, Kenny Grapple Master, Johnny Wrestling Guy (HWL)
Silky Sulky Sully Sullivan of Canada

Top Contenders

7. KDSN: Kim's Former Boyfriend Nick Lachey, Kim's Friends Demi Lovato, Justin Bieber (NDL)

8. EDGE: Dr. Destruction David, The Technician Terry, The Architect Adrian Tower (IML)
last of the teams with 521

9. KDSN: Kim's Chihuahua Princess, Kardashian Chimp Suzy, The Hated Paparazzi (LOL)
ranked #5 last time
KDSN: World's Greatest Sister Kimberly K., Designers Riccardo Tisci, Lorraine Schwartz (EEL)

U.S. Six-man Champions

Æ: Superstar Billy Green, Nate Hatred, Revolution Warrior Supreme (FLL)
Sly Smith (Green) & Michael Drake; Drake held titles 5 cycles in a row; Smith held titles 4 cycles in a row; share of $20,000

Æ: Wally Funk, Dangerously Sexy, Dangerously Hardcore (OSL)
Mike Carver

Æ: Lady New Blood, "Fatale" Dawn Destiny, Æ/ANTI-EST: Geronimo (NBL)
Michael Giuliano

EDGE: The Yellow Knight, The Ebony Knight, The Crimson Knight (PRL)
Mike Dorsett of New York; 521

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES -- veteran leagues only

1. LWL (828 matches) 486.519

2. IWL (758 matches) 488.306

3. TTL (534 matches) 491.930

4. MML (514 matches) 492.734

5. NBL (483 matches) 490.460

6. CWL (460 matches) 492.000
XWL (460 matches) 468.944

8. BRL (388 matches) 492.803
won the two matches for $1 cycle for having the highest average strategy total (counting only active wrestlers)

9. FSL (386 matches) 485.518

10. ECL (368 matches) 485.596

 

TOP 20 MONEY HOLDERS -- active wrestlers only

1. Kaptain Kryptonite (NBL) $32,274,600

2. Æ/LPPF: Medieval Tymes (NAL) $22,474,500

3. "Mr. Powerful" Ken Lambeau (PKL) $21,907,600

4. Æ/LPPF: Innovator of Arrogance Keith A. Maple (XPL) $21,802,700

5. Æ: Mike Drake (HWL) $20,620,500

6. JL6: The Hooded Inmate (IML) $19,858,200

7. APO: Gypsy Rose Lee (ECL) $19,753,579

8. EDGE/DT: Mike White Lightning Moore (QPL) $16,114,500

9. BLOOD: Sir Gunther Kinderwacht (BRL) $15,184,500

10. DFI: American Freedom Fighter E.J. (SHL) $15,119,038

11. Æ/LPPF: Bloody Assault Jessica Lee Richards (LLL) $14,997,900

12. Arsenal (XWL) $14,069,500

13. FMR: High Stakes Chris Edwards (IGL) $13,308,800

14. Æ: King Krusher (LSL) $13,146,800

15. Johnny "2 Kold" Koolakowski (IGL) $12,958,100

16. VIRUS: Cpl. Punishment (LBL) $10,961,300

17. Æ/LPPF: Alpha Male (BRL) $10,823,800

18. NGAA: Hawkeye Science (NGL) $10,823,300

19. EDGE: Motorheadbanger Annihilator (PAL) $10,690,800

20. PAIN: Manitou (AAL) $10,499,400

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

Iron Federation

Center Stage, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Iron Man, Main Event, New Global, Quick Pin, Wrestling Superstars, Xtreme Poison

Steel Federation

American Wrestling, Eastern States Wrestling, Fighting Legends, Intense Impact, King of Kings, Last Man Standing, Mid-Atlantic Wrestling Legacy, New Blood, Old School, Vicious Valkyries

Gold Federation

All Star, Battle Royal, Blood Bath, Caged Lion, Continental Wrestling, Fighting Superstars, Independent Wrestling, Mexican Mayhem, Mystic Diva, National Wrestling, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death, Triple Threat

Diamond Federation

American Bodyslam, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Lethal Brawling, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling

Bronze Federation

American Extreme, American Outlaw, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hardcore Superstars, Iron Glove, Japan Pro-Wrestling, Strong Style Wrestling

Jade Federation

Atomic Age, Jade Dragon, Lone Wolf, Lovely Ladies, Primal Rage, Psychotic Killer, Pure Adrenaline, Super Hero, Super Villain, Wrestlers Elite

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