IWA REPORT
Vol. 18, No. 9 -- Summer 2013
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2013 STATE WRESTLING CHAMPIONS

We proudly present our newest State Champions! Each wrestler below received $100,000 in imaginary money for a job well done. Congratulations to the winners, and a big "thank you" to everyone who competed this year. See you next time!

 

Alabama

Texas Lynch Mob Hitman (IWL)
Emerson Brown of Texas

Alaska

KDSN: Kardashian Pal O.J. Simpson (HWL)
Matt Yunick of New York

Arizona

EVOLUTION: Bryan "The Buckeye" Riddle (XPL)
Jody Workman of Ohio

Arkansas

VIRUS: High Stakes Chris Edwards (IGL)
Ed Cassens of Missouri

California

Funky Fresco (BRL)
Bob Rodgers of Indiana

Colorado

SA: Tigre Enmascarado (IGL)
W.P. Mills of Wisconsin

Connecticut

Mr. Vince McMahon (NFL)
Mark Hlavin of Ohio

Delaware

Dan the Man (HSL)
Dan Hicks of Texas

Florida

APO: Daddy G. (AWL)
Giovanni Rentas of Florida

Georgia

Corey Stedman (MML)
Corey L. Stedman of Michigan

Hawaii

APO: "The One Man Stable" James Campbell (HWL)
James Campbell of Ohio

Idaho

KDSN: Asmodeus Jones (HWL)
Matt Yunick

Illinois

XXX: The Bowhunter (AWL)
Cory Black of Ohio

Indiana

Willie "the Wild Man" (AWL)
William Pape of California

Iowa

C.M. Easy Listening (AEL)
Darry Dinnell of Canada

Kansas

High Stakes Chris Edwards

Kentucky

EW: Benjamin Randall (PAL)
Joe Voelker of Indiana

Louisiana

EVOLUTION: Dr. Satan (XPL)
Jody Workman

Maine

Jacob the Magnificent (AWL)
William Pape

Maryland

LTD: Avannah the Vengeful Seductress (LLL)
Cody Walker of Maryland

Massachusetts

Cal Rock (SGL)
Rob Calone of New York

Michigan

Corey Stedman

Minnesota

EDGE/EW: Psycho Jim Vicious (PAL)
James McNeill of Pennsylvania

Mississippi

Dan the Man

Missouri

High Stakes Chris Edwards

Montana

INK: King Krusher (SHL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi

Nebraska

Psycho Jim Vicious

Nevada

APO: "The King of Hardcore" John Campbell (HWL)
James Campbell

New Hampshire

Jacob the Magnificent

New Jersey

2XW: The Red Riot (BBL)
Jason Wagner of Pennsylvania

New Mexico

DETHPAK: Warhawk (BRL)
Bob Rodgers

New York

Cal Rock

North Carolina

YETI: El Muerto (TDL)
Emerson Brown

North Dakota

Nappy the Clown (AWL)
William Pape

Ohio

Missouri Tiger Ryler Rhodes (PAL)
Joe Voelker

Oklahoma

NGAA: Dionysus (NGL)
S. Daniel Stunes of Arkansas

Oregon

APO: Gypsy Rose Lee (ECL)
Vicki Lynch of New Jersey

Pennsylvania

LTD: Shari the Twisted Mistress (LLL)
Cody Walker

Rhode Island

Nappy the Clown

South Carolina

High Stakes Chris Edwards

South Dakota

BIGTIME OPERATOR: Edward Ledeger, Jr. (BBL)
Edward Ledeger, Jr. of California

Tennessee

Psycho Jim Vicious

Texas

Cal Rock

Utah

Dangerous: Crystal (BOL)
Taylor Gearsbeck of New York

Vermont

High Stakes Chris Edwards

Virginia

Texas Lynch Mob Slayer (IWL)
Emerson Brown

Washington

TBZ: Silver Eagle (IIL)
Brick D. Hinkley of Canada

West Virginia

The Baron (NWL)
Frank Bucklew of Pennsylvania

Wisconsin

SA: Wrestling God Hector Dodd (LOL)
W.P. Mills

Wyoming

Daddy G.

 

HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES -- engraved plaque

Austin and Nate Pierce of Wisconsin

Lt. Bobby Jacobs (ECL) 1,996-651-125, $5,320,366 *42
Sgt. Stan Carlson (ECL) 2,003-468-114, $5,350,666 *46
After lengthy careers in both the IWA and the U.S. Army, Lt. Jacobs and Sgt. Carlson, in association with their managers, have announced their retirement.

Joining the United States Army in 1990, the longtime friends participated in the Desert Storm conflict in 1991 and served their country proudly. Following their honorable discharge in early 1994, Lt. Bobby Jacobs and Sgt. Stan Carlson were trained for the ring by IWA Hall-of-Famer Jonathan Jankowski. They debuted in the SDL in 1994 (Jacobs) and 1995 (Carlson) alongside their "commanding officer" "Gen." Jimmy Jankowski. In April of 1996, they joined the DAL, where their rise to prominence truly began. Lengthy, bloody feuds with the likes of Pok the Precious, Larry the Cable Guy, the Peeping Toms, Joe E. Legend, the Pro Bowler, and Team QPL gained them a reputation for being among the hardest of the hardcore wrestlers in the IWA. Multiple league, TV, and six-man title reigns soon followed. Their greatest achievement came in January of 1999, when they won the IWA World Six-man titles alongside Jonathan Jankowski. After leaving the DAL in 2002, they had a brief stay in the BRL before taking a leave of absence from wrestling. Re-enlisting in the U.S. Army after eight years away, they served their country once more during Operation Iraqi Freedom. Upon returning to American soil as citizens in late 2007, they quickly re-joined the wrestling world, and found themselves in another war: the war between Brian Bulldozer and Duke Dangerous vs. Mark Duchaine and his associates. After a crazy year that saw Jacobs and Carlson attempt to fill the Lord of Illusions' split-open chest cavity with worms and maggots, among other notorious deeds, the pair traveled to the ECL alongside Duke Dangerous. They quickly made a name for themselves, winning the ECL World Tag-team titles from the iconic duo of Fire and Ice in a best of seven series, by the score of 4-0. Wars with Fire and Ice, the Plague Dogs, the Von Erichs, and others only proved once again that they were one of -- if not the -- baddest and most violent teams in the IWA. Their all-out, anything goes style of fighting, however, along with their years of army combat, led to many injuries. After recovering from recent, painful neck injuries suffered at the hands of Devon Destiny and Vic Valentine, the pair have decided to call it a career and announce their retirement.

Lt. Jacobs and Sgt. Carlson had the following to say about their announcement:

Lt. Bobby Jacobs: "We've had a blast, beating the holy hell outta everyone who's gotten in our way over the years. We really have. But, hell, everything's gotta end sometime. And it looks like our time is up."

Sgt. Stan Carlson: (spits a wad of tobacco juice) "To all you [censored] out there, you gave us a helluva run, a helluva good time. We've won more than our fair share, and we've enjoyed kicking your [censored], drinkin' our whiskey, and doing whatever the hell we felt like doing, night in and night out! Our day in this business may be over with... but we ain't done having fun yet!"

Lt. Bobby Jacobs: "We're goin' to the Hall of Fame! Hell, yeah! Where will we show up after that? You just never know! But you had better watch your back! Ha ha ha ha ha!"

 

WORLD, U.S., KING OF THE RING

World Champion

EDGE: Mister Fantastic (HSL)
Geoff Silva of Massachusetts; 500; $300,000 + 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt & 50 free matches

In an arena somewhere in the USA, the crowd is growing restless between matches. The lights dim and a video clip begins to play on the VideoTron. It shows the closing moments of Mister Fantastic's IWA World title match. He locks on the Fantastic Finish(er) and his opponent quickly submits. A Jim Ross-styled commentator goes crazy.

Commentator: "Fantastic wins! Fantastic wins the World title! By God almighty, Fantastic wins the World title!"

Back at the arena, the lights have come back on, and there is a person standing alone in the center of the ring. A microphone descends from the ceiling. He clutches it and speaks.

Person: "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages... Making his way to the ring at this time... hailing from Boston, Massachusetts... standing a towering 5-feet, seven and 1/4 inches... weighing in at 194... and 1/4 pounds... he holds a Bachelor's degree in the old school of IWA-nomics... he is the current and reigning and defending, undisputed IWA Heavyweight Champion of the Wooooooorrrrrllld... Mister... Fantastic! Wait for it..... Fan-tas-tic!"

"The Ghost of Tom Joad" by Rage Against the Machine blares over the P.A. as Mister Fantastic appears, surrounded by his entourage, led by his manager holding the IWA World title over his head as they make their way to the ring.

Mister Fantastic: "Under normal circumstances, I would be the good guy in this situation. After everything I've been through in my 20-year career -- from getting screwed out of a World title elsewhere, all the way to non-televised matches right after I won the Jade Federation title -- you would think that this would be the ultimate feel good story. But it's not! Let's take a little poll. I want you to raise your hand if you thought my career was over. Raise your hand if you thought I was washed up. Raise your hand if you thought I couldn't compete with the big guns anymore. I see those hands in the air!"

He points out individual crowd members.

Mister Fantastic: "You were wrong. And so were you. And you. And you. And you. You too, fat boy; you were wrong, too!

"And that's why this isn't a feel good story. The truth is, the sight of each and every one of you makes me sick! The truth is, none of you ever wanted to bother with me through the tough times. You convinced me that I was too good for where I was, and that I should forge my own path. You only wanted to talk to me or associate with me when I was on my way to the TOP of the mountain. But you couldn't be bothered with me when I came crashing down!

"There's a part of me that just wants to take this World title and walk away with it, because I've finally proven that I can do it. But there's also a part of me that thinks that's exactly what you people want! I'm not going to give you what you want. This thing between us? It's not over, and it is personal. So I'm going to stay right where I am. And I'm going to make you eat your words every chance I get. I'm going to stay right here, and I will always fight with a chip on my shoulder. I will never... ever forgive you for turning your backs on me. Mister Fantastic will be a thorn in your side month after month after month...

"Ladies and gentlemen, I've waited almost 20 years to finally be able to do this..."

His manager hands him the IWA World title. Mister Fantastic stands dead-center in the ring and holds it high above his head.

U.S. Champion

INK/RWS: Rob Van Drake (HWL)
Michael Drake of New York; 499; $60,000 + a plaque or 25 free matches; edged EDGE: Average Bloke (CWL), EDGE: L-Train Lionel Jefferson (LSL), WELCOME: Nasty Nick Spalla (MSL)

King of the Ring

Laser-Tron (MRL)
Matt Riley of Massachusetts; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; 273 KotR total; edged INK: James Rogue (NDL, 499), ICP: Gil Arroyo Rules Your World (ABL; lesser overall total), EFF/ICP: Mobster Rocky Tartaglia (MIL; lesser overall total); hold positions were 2, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 15; battle royal hold positions were 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 13, 14

 

SPECIALTY TITLES -- $25,000 + 10 free matches

American Champion

WELCOME: The Game Changer (TCL)
"The Game" from Parts Unknown; 500

Asiatic Champion

EDGE: The Rainbow Knight (NDL)
Mike Dorsett of New York; 499; edged EDGE: Galan Dracos (JDL)

Hardcore Champion

KDSN: World's Most Beautiful Woman Kim K. (LSL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 499

Metropolitan Champion

BLDMNY: S.N.A.F.U. (NWL)
Bob Rodgers of Indiana; 15 free matches; edged Dutch Doomsday (SHL)

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS -- $40,000 + 25 free matches

Iron Federation Champion

INK: Don't Touch Me Elmo (MIL)
"Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont; 499

Steel Federation Champion

Latin Adonis Al Alvarez (MRL)
Rob Bream of Pennsylvania; 499; edged INK: Elite Superstar (APL), EDGE/3-S: Larry Lin (OSL), KDSN: World's Most Beautiful Woman Kim K. (LSL)

Gold Federation Champion

EDGE: Typical Cat (CWL)
Garett Guzman of Nevada; 500

Diamond Federation Champion

EDGE/DEATHKNIGHT: Zodiac Killer (ABL)
Mike Dorsett of New York; 500

Bronze Federation Champion

EDGE: Mister Fantastic (HSL)
Geoff Silva of Massachusetts; manager retained title; 500; edged WELCOME: The Game Changer (TCL)

Jade Federation Champion

EDGE: Galan Dracos (JDL)
Mike Dorsett; 499

 

NATIONAL, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS -- $20,000

National Champion

Paul Roma (WWL)
"The Game" from Parts Unknown; manager retained title; a plaque or 25 free matches; Mountain region
WILLMISS: S.D. Jones (WWL)
"The Game"; 501; Atlantic region; entered due to an in-league error; champion would have been Laser-Tron (MRL, Matt Riley of Massachusetts, 501)

Central Champion

EDGE: Mr. 502 (WEL)
Caleb Kaffenbarger of Ohio; 501

Dixie Champion

EDGE: The Fallen Knight (LSL)
Mike Dorsett of New York; 499; edged ICP/VIRUS: Sweden House (EPL)

Eastern Champion

INK: Inferno (GRL)
"Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont; 499; edged WELCOME: The Ace of Clubs (TCL)

Northern Champion

WERENOT: Mike Hotshot (LSL)
Joshua Haight of Wisconsin; 499

Pacific Champion

RED: Musk Raptor (UEL)
Fred Ruffles; 499; edged RED: Crooked I (PRL)

Prairie Champion

EDGE: Gambit (HSL)
Geoff Silva of Massachusetts; 500

Southern Champion

INK: Tim Tebow Carver (APL)
Mike Carver of Pennsylvania; 499

Western Champion

WERENOT: Jake Hotshot (LSL)
Joshua Haight; 500; edged INK: Flying Scotsman #2 (APL)

 

LADIES' TITLES

Ladies' World Champion

EDGE: Andrea the Giant (MDL)
"The Immortal" Shareef Johnson of New Jersey; 500; $40,000 + a plaque or 15 free matches

Ladies' U.S. Champion

APO: Sky (MDL)
James Campbell of Ohio; $20,000

Queen of the Ring

Andrea the Giant
270 QotR total

Ladies' National Champion

EDGE: Rowdy Rebecca Piper (MDL)
Shareef Johnson

Ladies' Tag-team Champions

INK: Francesca Le & Jill Kelly (LLL)
John Gabriel of Pennsylvania

Ladies' U.S. Tag-team Champions

INK: Melissa Hill & Jenteal (LLL)
John Gabriel

World Six-woman Champions

MWC: "Ego Maniac" Michelle Sleaves, "Drama Queen" Kendra Maplewood, "Little Lost Puppy" Toni Adud (FFL)
Steven M. Shotliff of Minnesota; retained titles; 521

U.S. Six-woman Champions

EDGE: Awesome Angela, Dreamgirl Dana, Bonecrusher Bonnie Powers (VVL)
Shareef Johnson; manager retained titles; edged WC: Dynamic Dian Parkenson, Curvaceous Carrie Westcott, Knockout Kelly Bundy (MDL), previous champions EDGE: Valarie Venus, Soda Girl, Pop Girl (FFL)

 

TAG-TEAM TITLES

World Tag-team Champions

INK/EGG: Blue Eagles ~ Willie & Simon Byler (ECL)
John Gabriel of Pennsylvania; $50,000 + 15 free matches

Top Contenders

2. Outlaw Wyatt & Hangman Hoss Magnum (BRL)
last of the teams with 516

3. GTA: "Rugged" Dan Watson & "The Mercenary" Trent Mercer (BOL)

4. Buggly & E.G. Bugg (EPL)

5. INK/DUCHAINE BROS: Paul "The Butcher" & "Mad Dog" Maurice Duchaine (MRL)

6. ICP: Gilbert Arroyo Owns You & Wins Again (ABL)

7. EFF/ICP: Nothing Personal & The Magic Mole (NGL)

8. VIOLATOR: Still Bill & Not Bill Hill (PKL)

9. INK: The Miz & Rhino (WWL)

10. WERENOT: Mike & Jake Hotshot (LSL)
INK: Flying Scotsman #2 & Tim Tebow Carver (APL)

U.S. Tag-team Champions

EFF/ICP: Ter Antula & Miner 69er (NGL)
Jeremy Nace of Oregon; $20,000; edged BURN: Big Tex Blackwell & Crimson Fury Christian Blackheart (PRL), EDGE: The Blue Knight & Fearless Frank Flamingo (LSL), INK: Peter Moss & I'm Not Active (APL), INK/MOH: Plague Dogs Filth & Skumm (ECL), EDGE/SnP: Anthony S. & EDGE: Steve A. Spivey (TDL)

 

SIX-MAN TITLES

World Six-man Champions

EDGE: The Evil Man, The Rocklet, L'Carpetron Dookmarriot (CSL)
Erik Davis of Washington (Man) & Caleb Kaffenbarger of Ohio; managers held titles 3 cycles in a row; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

EDGE: The False Prophet, Galan Dracos, Green Knight (IML)
Mike Dorsett of New York; manager retained titles

EDGE: Big Slick, Big Money Chaos, Sabotage (ECL)
Jason McGrew of Illinois

END: Cult of Personality #1, #2, #3 (NDL)
Keith A. Maple of Ohio

ICP: Oh No Gilbert Arroyo Beat You, Owns You, Wins Again (ABL)
Gilbert Arroyo of California

Top Contenders

6. GTA: "El Jefe" Hector Martinez, "The Outlaw" Drego Andersen, "The Natural" Bobby Hamlin (ASL)

7. RED: Crooked I, Cassidy, Cyssero (PRL)

8. RED: DJs Envy, Vlad, Clue (LOL)

9. Outlaw Wyatt, Hangman Hoss, Bull Rope Luke Magnum (BRL)
last of the teams with 521

10. TSD/VIOLATOR: Anthony "The Silencer" Hopkins, Tim "Redemption" Robbins, The Lion Heart (SHL)
EDGE: Pat Patriot, EDGE/BBQ: Oklahoma Joe, Jack Stack (NGL)
EDGE: Ultra League Assassins #1, #2, Terminator Terry Danger (NAL)

U.S. Six-man Champions

EDGE: Darnell Smiff, Roosevelt Gunns, The Slacker (CSL)
Caleb Kaffenbarger & Erik Davis (Slacker); 521; $20,000

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES

1. AWL (1,254 matches) 478.367

2. NWL (922 matches) 462.583

3. LWL (880 matches) 493.038
won the two matches for $1 cycle for having the highest average strategy total (counting only active wrestlers)

4. BRL (840 matches) 486.676

5. SHL (654 matches) 491.889

6. MML (617 matches) 489.259

7. ECL (517 matches) 490.463

8. BBL (438 matches) 478.659

9. NSL (412 matches) 489.500

10. NAL (397 matches) 491.651

 

TOP 20 MONEY HOLDERS -- active wrestlers only

1. END: Medieval Tymes (NAL) $19,852,000

2. END: Innovator of Arrogance Keith A. Maple (XPL) $19,273,300

3. "Mr. Powerful" Ken Lambeau (PKL) $19,134,300

4. JL6: The Hooded Inmate (RBL) $17,244,300

5. EDGE/DT: Mike White Lightning Moore (QPL) $15,831,400

6. APO: Gypsy Rose Lee (ECL) $14,664,279

7. BURN: Johnny Cage (JIL) $14,044,138

8. DFI: American Freedom Fighter E.J. (SHL) $13,760,838

9. END: Jinx (BRL) $13,352,500

10. TSD/PLEASE: The Survivor (ECL) $12,736,800

11. INK/RWS: Mike Drake (HWL) $12,668,700

12. INK: King Krusher (SHL) $12,553,600

13. INK: Sir Gunther Kinderwacht (BRL) $12,418,100

14. ROW: Special Agent B.M.F. (JIL) $12,125,500

15. Easy E. Joe Cool (TDL) $11,948,700

16. VIRUS: High Stakes Chris Edwards (IGL) $11,673,400

17. Dimitrios the Traveler (EAL) $11,186,100

18. Johnny "2 Kold" Koolakowski (IGL) $10,826,400

19. Arsenal (DDL) $10,468,100

20. EDGE/SnP: Motorheadbanger Annihilator (JIL) $10,323,200

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

Iron Federation

Center Stage, Elite Action, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Iron Man, Murder Incorporated, Next Generation, Quick Pin, Wrestling Superstars, Xtreme Poison, Young Lions

Steel Federation

Absolute Pain, American Wrestling, Eastern States Wrestling, Fighting Legends, Intense Impact, King of Kings, Last Man Standing, Mid-Atlantic Region, New Blood, Old School, Vicious Valkyries

Gold Federation

All Star, Battle Royal, Black Ops, Blood Bath, Caliente Lucha, Canadian Wrestling, Extraordinary Power, Florida Superstars, Independent Wrestling, Mat Mayhem, Mystic Diva, National Wrestling, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death, Union Express

Diamond Federation

American Bodyslam, Dark Days, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Lethal Brawling, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling, Young Guns

Bronze Federation

American Empire, American Outlaw, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hot Streak, Iron Glove, Main Event, Men of Steel, Raging Bull, Soul Asylum, Torture Chamber

Jade Federation

Atomic Age, Bloody Terror, Jade Dragon, Just Incredible, Lone Wolf, Lovely Ladies, Primal Rage, Psychotic Killer, Pure Adrenaline, Smoking Gun, Super Hero, World Wrestling, Wrestlers Elite

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