IWA REPORT
Vol. 18, No. 7 -- May 2013
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HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES -- engraved plaque

Keith Muscarella of New York

DT: Jack Hammer M.O.D. (QPL) 1,441-828-105, $4,059,100 *27
DT: Ripper Borden (QPL) 1,331-937-128, $4,479,600 *38
DT: Zomby Woof (QPL) 2,456-889-112, $5,875,300 *30

Nicholas Hill of Georgia

ICP: "The Alabama Bad %#$" Shane Poteet (XPL) 1,125-428-154, $2,512,500 *25

 

WORLD, U.S., KING OF THE RING

World Champion

INK: Shooting Star Dexter Domino (CCL)
"Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont; 500; $300,000 + 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt & 50 free matches

A lone spotlight shines toward the entry ramp as a huge cloud of smoke billows out over the audience. "Drop the World" by Eminem and Lil Wayne explodes over the P.A. system as fireworks go off. Out walks the IWA World Champion, Shooting Star Dexter Domino, with his manager, "Doctor Pain" Mark Duchaine. Fans erupt with cheers and hold their lit lighters up in the air as the duo makes its way to the stage. Doctor Pain has a microphone in hand.

Doctor Pain: "So, I wonder what excuse all my haters will have this time? Well, you can take all your excuses and shove them right up --"

Dexter: "Hold it, Doc. This is a family show."

Doctor Pain: "Correct, Dexter. But they can do what I just said... DRY. I am so sick of all these jealous hacks coming out here and running their mouths about me. That whole group that left INK was nothing but fluff. We've still got all the greatest managers right here in INK!"

Dexter crotch chops the World title.

Doctor Pain: "So, right now I want all my haters to grab their tear-soaked pillows and take a flying leap. The year is still early, and I'm going to bring the PAIN like I always do! -- Bunch of pillow biting, jealous losers. Now, let's get out of here, Dexter. Me and you have a celebration to get to. Just like the stable name says... the proof is in black and white!!!"

U.S. Champion

ICP: Yellow Fever (PAL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; 500; $60,000 + a plaque or 25 free matches; edged ICP: The Mysterious Beaver (EPL), EDGE: Masked Stormtrooper Lightning (BBL)

King of the Ring

CARTEL: Harvester of Sorrow (OTL)
Jeremy Nace of Oregon; a plaque or 25 free matches; 274 KotR total; edged EDGE: Warped Drive (OSL); hold positions were 3, 5, 7, 9, 10, 12, 13, 14; battle royal hold positions were 1, 2, 4, 6, 8, 9, 11, 15

 

SPECIALTY TITLES -- $25,000 + 10 free matches

American Champion

Prince of Pain (ASL)
Steve Gasperoni of California; 499; edged LB: Railroad Warrior Tie (BRL)

Asiatic Champion

EDGE: Cuthrak Rage (NDL)
Mike Dorsett of New York; 500

Hardcore Champion

Eric Hotshot (LSL)
Joshua Haight of Wisconsin; 499; edged IVHM: "Doctor of Desire" Daven Lee (TDL)

Metropolitan Champion

Jay Briscoe (MML)
Darrell Johnson of Vermont; 499; 10 free matches; edged Railroad Warrior Tie, EDGE: The Immortal King SJ Perfect (LWL)

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS -- $40,000 + 25 free matches

Iron Federation Champion

INK: Dr. Feelgood (EEL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi; retained title; manager held title 3 cycles in a row; 499; edged INK: Mean Mike Eaves (QPL)

Steel Federation Champion

INK: Shooting Star Dexter Domino (CCL)
"Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont; 500

Gold Federation Champion

EDGE/JERKSS: The Winner (FSL)
Erik Davis of Washington; 500; edged EDGE: Cuthrak Rage (NDL)

Diamond Federation Champion

ICP/END: Medieval Tymes (NAL)
Keith A. Maple of Ohio; 499

Bronze Federation Champion

Alexander the Great (OTL)
"The Game" from Parts Unknown; 500

Jade Federation Champion

INK/TSD: Ricardo Rodriguez (WWL)
John Gabriel of Pennsylvania; 500; edged EDGE: Drug Buddy (SGL), ROW: Stone Cold Serial Killer (JIL)

 

NATIONAL, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS -- $20,000

National Champion

Steam Buscemi (WEL)
Ben West of Georgia; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; Central region

Atlantic Champion

EDGE: Filipino Death Machine (SGL)
Garett Guzman of Nevada; 500

Dixie Champion

EDGE: Galen Jackson (SAL)
Jeff Annable of Canada; 500; edged ICP: Ebola (EPL)

Eastern Champion

RED: Macaulay McCulkin (PRL)
Fred Ruffles; 499; edged EDGE: Everyday Bro (CWL)

Mountain Champion

ICP: Sweden House (EPL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; 501

Northern Champion

ICP: Russian Pulverizer (BTL)
Gilbert Arroyo of California; 500

Pacific Champion

EDGE: White Rhino (IIL)
Garett Guzman; edged EDGE: Deadweight (BTL), EDGE: Regular Dude (CWL), ICP: Arianna Swawberry (EPL), INK: Dangerously Hardcore (APL), EDGE: The Dread Knight (ABL)

Prairie Champion

HARD: Mad Scientist (AWL)
Robert Coplin of California; 499

Southern Champion

ICP: Anna Banana (EPL)
Frank Jay Belcher III; 500

Western Champion

ICP: Osama (ASL)
Frank Jay Belcher III; 500

 

LADIES' TITLES

Ladies' World Champion

EDGE: It_Girl 3 (MDL)
Erik Davis of Washington; $40,000 + a plaque or 15 free matches

Ladies' U.S. Champion

EDGE: The Honky Tonk Woman (MDL)
"The Immortal" Shareef Johnson of New Jersey; $20,000; edged MWC: "Drama Queen" Kendra Maplewood (FFL)

Queen of the Ring

EDGE: Dominion Diva #1 (VVL)
Shaun Sims of Washington, D.C.; 265 QotR total; edged SAP: Minnie "Lotus" Pettway (FFL)

Ladies' National Champion

EDGE: It_Girl 1
Erik Davis; 499; edged EDGE: SJ's Current Girlfriend Angie (LLL), EDGE: SJ's Side Piece Syn (LLL), EDGE: SJ's Ex-Girlfriend Rena (LLL)

Ladies' Tag-team Champions

MWC: Women of the Knight #1 & #2 (FFL)
Steven M. Shotliff of Minnesota

Ladies' U.S. Tag-team Champions

EDGE: It_Girls 1 & 2
Erik Davis

World Six-woman Champions

EDGE: Dominion Divas #1, #2, #3
Shaun Sims; retained titles; 521

U.S. Six-woman Champions

It_Girls 1, 2, 3

 

TAG-TEAM TITLES

World Tag-team Champions

ICP: Scrub-A-Licious & Scrub-Vicious (NAL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; $50,000 + 15 free matches

Top Contenders

2. EDGE: Rob Slayer & EDGE/NAMBLA: Riki Tiki Tavi Steamboat (DDL)

3. EDGE: Dirt Bag Davis & EDGE/JERKSS: The Winner (FSL)

4. EDGE: Wise Guys Moe Dickstein & Harry Valentini (NSL)
Masked Assassin #3 & Manipulator #2 (LBL)
last of the teams with 516

6. TSD: Gluttony & "Mr. #1" Marcus Copley (CWL)

7. Bunkhouse Stan Magnum & Cowboy Jim Spur (BRL)
previous champions

8. RAR: Libertarian & Close the Borders (NDL)

9. Smokey & Jammin' James Jones (TDL)
ranked #8 last time

10. EDGE: A.C. & J.C. Steel (ASL)

U.S. Tag-team Champions

BURN: "The Franchise" Mr. Johnson & M. "The Hu$tler" John$on (DDL)
Mitchell Johnson of Michigan; 516; $20,000

 

SIX-MAN TITLES

World Six-man Champions

ICP: Rev. Johnson, Ebola, Hepatitis (EPL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

COT: Hingle McCringleberry, Ozamataz Buckshank, EDGE: The Large Man (CSL)
Caleb Kaffenbarger of Ohio & Erik Davis of Washington (Man)

EDGE: A.C., J.C., K.C. Steel (ASL)
Rob Bream of Pennsylvania; 521

Top Contenders

4. "All Business" Aaron, "Awesome" Anthony Hole, "Rock Hard" Rod Cox (NWL)

5. EDGE: Pat Patriot, EDGE/BBQ: Oklahoma Joe, Jack Stack (NGL)
EDGE: Black Knight, Agamemnon, EDGE/SnP: The Illustrious Ishtar (IML)
INK: The People's Champ Mike Carver, Pizza the Hut, COT: Brad Logan (MIL)

8. ICP/END: Irrelevant Nobodies (You, Him, What's His Name) (GRL)

9. EDGE: Carmelo Anthony Hopkins, John Wayne Gretzky, LeBron James Gandolfini (NSL)
ranked #8 last time

10. ICP: "The Canadian Kid" Brian Woods, Deadly Danny Damage, ICP/END: Medieval Tymes (NAL)
ICP: Sadistic Sid, Brutal Bruce Damage, IWA Icon Gilbert Arroyo (KKL)

U.S. Six-man Champions

COT: Tyroil Smoochie-Wallace, Spearchucker Jones, EDGE: The Kid (CSL)
Caleb Kaffenbarger & Erik Davis (Kid); 521; $20,000; edged EDGE: Shaun Keno, Mikey Blackjack, Jay Slots (LSL)

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES

1. AWL (1,142 matches) 477.923

2. NWL (952 matches) 437.948

3. BRL (922 matches) 490.131

4. LWL (722 matches) 493.222
won the two matches for $1 cycle for having the highest average strategy total (counting only active wrestlers)

5. MML (591 matches) 488.838

6. SHL (527 matches) 488.571

7. BBL (514 matches) 477.981

8. XPL (510 matches) 490.986

9. NAL (486 matches) 491.742

10. WEL (453 matches) 491.258

 

TOP 20 STARS -- active wrestlers only

1. INK: Wonderful Wally Brown (GRL) 98

2. INK: Sinister Steve Stryker (CSL) 91

3. INK: Sir Gunther Kinderwacht (BRL) 86

4. BURN: Johnny Cage (JIL) 85

5. INK: Diesel Duddick (GRL)
ICP/END: Medieval Tymes (NAL) 84

7. ICP/END: Innovator of Arrogance Keith A. Maple (XPL) 83

8. INK: Nightmare Sam Hell (BRL) 81

9. BURN: Chris Coldstone (JIL)
ICP/END: Jinx (BRL)
EDGE/DT: Mike White Lightning Moore (QPL) 78

12. INK: Lord of Illusions (BRL) 75

13. EDGE: Ollis Rage (JDL) 71

14. EDGE: Mike White Lightning Moore (BRL)
Sammy Solar (SHL)
Steve "The Sandman" Sands (KKL) 69

17. EDGE: Black Knight (IML)
EDGE: Danny S. Spivey (RCL) 68

19. EDGE/NAMBLA: Warchild (EHL)
ICP/END: The Wyld Stooge (PKL) 67

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

Iron Federation

Center Stage, Elite Action, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Iron Man, Murder Incorporated, Next Generation, Quick Pin, Wrestling Superstars, Xtreme Poison, Young Lions

Steel Federation

Absolute Pain, American Wrestling, Casting Couch, Eastern States Wrestling, Fighting Legends, Intense Impact, King of Kings, Last Man Standing, Mid-Atlantic Region, New Blood, Old School, Vicious Valkyries

Gold Federation

All Star, Battle Royal, Black Ops, Blood Bath, Caliente Lucha, Canadian Wrestling, Extraordinary Power, Federated Suns, Mat Mayhem, Mystic Diva, National Wrestling, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death, Union Express

Diamond Federation

American Bodyslam, Dark Days, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Lethal Brawling, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling, Young Guns

Bronze Federation

American Empire, American Outlaw, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hot Streak, Iron Glove, Main Event, Men of Steel, Raging Bull, Soul Asylum, Torture Chamber

Jade Federation

Atomic Age, Bloody Terror, Jade Dragon, Just Incredible, Lone Wolf, Lovely Ladies, Primal Rage, Psychotic Killer, Pure Adrenaline, Smoking Gun, Super Hero, World Wrestling, Wrestlers Elite

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