IWA REPORT
Vol. 17, No. 16 -- December 2012
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HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES -- engraved plaque

Helen Clair of Washington

ROTU: Wraith (BOL) 1,363-358-80, $3,334,600 *18
At a major press conference where Johnny B was promoting all the different leagues and some of the high profile groups within the IWA, the infamous BOL superstar, Wraith, walked up to the podium with his typical arrogance and completely interrupted the program.

"Anyone who knows of the Black Ops League knows who the Riders of the Underworld are. Our stable has dominated and ruled over the BOL from its inception. We have several mausoleums stuffed with gold, and a good portion of it has my name all over it: back-to-back State championships, back-to-back Imagimania wins -- including the 25th anniversary -- the coveted League Triple Crown, and more tag and regional gold than the standard human mind could comprehend. When I first came to the surface from the bowels of the Underworld, I used to say, 'So it is written, so it shall be,' and I was right. I have reached every goal set and I have stomped the ever-lovin' gargoyle grease out of every opponent that I have faced. My biggest goal was to Purge the Souls of the unworthy and take the Gold; I have done it. Now, it is time to enjoy the riches I have rightfully earned, and I leave ROTU in the very capable hands of my mentor and stablemate, Widowmaker."

In a very uncharacteristic move, Wraith turned to Johnny B and offered his hand. "Thanks, man. It's been one heck of a ride!" After shaking hands, the tattooed warrior turned and quietly walked away.

 

WORLD, U.S., KING OF THE RING

World Champion

EDGE: Goon (SGL)
Garett Guzman of Nevada; 500; $300,000 + 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt & 50 free matches

U.S. Champion

EDGE/OZ: "Ultimate Lawyer" Tobias Beecher (FLL)
Garett Guzman; 500; $60,000 + a plaque or 25 free matches; edged KDSN: Party Goer Kourtney Kardashian (LSL)

King of the Ring

EDGE: Common Man (CWL)
Garett Guzman; a plaque or 25 free matches; 273 KotR total; hold positions were 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 12, 14, 15; battle royal hold positions were 1, 3, 5, 8, 9, 10, 11, 13

 

SPECIALTY TITLES -- $25,000 + 10 free matches

American Champion

SW: Pazuzu Polinski (SAL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 500

Asiatic Champion

EDGE: Ninja Steel (NBL)
Rob Bream of Pennsylvania; 499

Hardcore Champion

EDGE: Gabby Poker (LSL)
Kevin Hurley of Canada; 500

Metropolitan Champion

EDGE: Filipino Joe E. Holiday (MML)
Rich Schwartzenburg of Canada; 499; 10 free matches

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS -- $40,000 + 25 free matches

Iron Federation Champion

COBRA: Theseus (XPL)
Mark Spears of Illinois; edged EDGE: Black Knight (IML), EDGE/DT: Bull Back William Andrews (QPL), EDGE: "Sugar" Shannon Brown (EAL), EDGE: Rated "R" Superstar Edge (WSL)

Steel Federation Champion

EDGE: Gabby Poker (LSL)
Kevin Hurley of Canada; 500

Gold Federation Champion

EDGE: Filipino Joe E. Holiday (MML)
Rich Schwartzenburg of Canada; 499

Diamond Federation Champion

EDGE: Sheik Hassent Ben Sober (DDL)
Mike Dorsett of New York; 499

Bronze Federation Champion

SW: Pazuzu Polinski (SAL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 500; edged DICE: Armin "Ace" Kea (MSL)

Jade Federation Champion

EDGE: Goon (SGL)
Garett Guzman of Nevada; 500

 

NATIONAL, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS -- $20,000

National Champion

Wicked Wonder Pet Linny (NDL)
"The Game" from Parts Unknown; manager retained title; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; Northern region

Atlantic Champion

ARMY: The Starchild (ESL)
Jeff Chambers of Iowa; 499

Central Champion

EDGE: "Corduroy Blazer" Emerson Garrett (EHL)
Garett Guzman of Nevada; 501; edged DICE: Black September (GRL)

Dixie Champion

KDSN: W Magazine's Editor & Photographer (TDL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 499; edged SW: The Satanic Prince Vassago (SAL)

Eastern Champion

KDSN: The Ugly Sister Khloe Kardashian (LSL)
Matt Yunick; edged LPPF: Adrenaline (NAL), LG: Bigfoot Ryan (AWL)

Mountain Champion

HAZ-Inc/SS: "Dangerous" Danny Sykes (ESL)
Randy Barnes of Arizona; 500

Pacific Champion

SFW: Penitentiary Pat (BRL)
Greg Brigham of Georgia; 499

Prairie Champion

EDGE: The Murderer Marcus Disaster (LSL)
Mike Dorsett of New York; edged EDGE: Cassius Clay Aiken (EPL), OF: Wild Card Garrett Shadowstar (NWL)

Southern Champion

VIRUS: Sentry (AOL)
Ben West of Georgia; 501

Western Champion

EDGE/HYDRA: The Gorgon (CCL)
"The Immortal" Shareef Johnson of New Jersey; edged DICE: Dr. Botso (GRL)

 

LADIES' TITLES

Ladies' World Champion

KDSN: Kim's Former Friend Paris Hilton (FFL)
Matt Yunick of New York; $40,000 + a plaque or 15 free matches; edged "Malicious" Maria Menounos (MDL), Angela Powers

Ladies' U.S. Champion

"Gorgeous" Gabrielle Union (MDL)
"The Game" from Parts Unknown; 499; $20,000

Queen of the Ring

LUNIZ: Minnie "Lotus" Pettway (VVL)
Chester Wright of Michigan; 269 QotR total; edged UKA: Brandy Dirt (FFL)

Ladies' National Champion

EDGE: Bonecrusher Bonnie Powers (VVL)
"The Immortal" Shareef Johnson of New Jersey; edged EDGE: Doomtrigger Delorian Powers (VVL), EDGE: Brittney the Barber Beefcake (MDL)

Ladies' Tag-team Champions

DICE: Patty Kilmer & Linda Leech (LLL)
John Gabriel of Pennsylvania

Ladies' U.S. Tag-team Champions

EDGE: The Hulkster Heather Hogan & The Honky Tonk Woman (MDL)
Shareef Johnson

World Six-woman Champions

EDGE: Awesome Angela, Dreamgirl Dana, Bonnie Powers
Shareef Johnson

U.S. Six-woman Champions

EDGE: Heather Hogan, The Honky Tonk Woman, Gayle "The Hammer" Valentine
Shareef Johnson

 

TAG-TEAM TITLES

World Tag-team Champions

EDGE: Pain & The Terminator (DDL)
Jeff Annable of Canada; $50,000 + 15 free matches

Top Contenders

2. UKA/HIGHER FLYERS: "Jumpin" Jim Brazil & Graig Gagne (MRL)
EDGE: The Blue Knight & The Green Knight (LSL)
last of the teams with 516

4. VIRUS: Wicked Clown & Wicked Ringmaster (HSL)

5. EDGE/HYDRA: Super Human Foot Soldier #1 & EDGE: Adam Smasher (CCL)

6. VIRUS: Rocky & John Rock (TCL)

7. LPPF: Adrenaline & The Wyld Stooge (PKL)

8. EDGE: Nikerov "The Nightmare" & Bobby "The Bear" Barishnakov (NDL)

9. HAZ-Inc/SS: "Maniac" Mark McClain & "Dangerous" Danny Sykes (ESL)

10. Buckwheat & Stymie (SAL)

U.S. Tag-team Champions

Little Lord Fauntleroy & Lana Guns (IIL)
Darry Dinnell of Canada; $20,000

 

SIX-MAN TITLES

World Six-man Champions

EDGE: Black Knight, Agamemnon, The Illustrious Ishtar (IML)
Mike Dorsett of New York; manager held titles 4 cycles in a row; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

EDGE: Enforcer Eric, Sadistic Dean Danger, Double S (LOL)
EDGE: Dominion Augur, Oracle, Druid (ECL)
Shaun Sims of Maryland

EDGE: Girly, Curly, Burly Hurley (CWL)
Garett Guzman of Nevada

VIRUS: Wicked Clown, Wicked Ringmaster, Candyman (HSL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan

DICE: Killer Kanye West, "Bullet Proof" Danny Able, Jack Pollock (APL)
Mike Carver (West) & John Gabriel, both of Pennsylvania

Top Contenders

7. EDGE: Stud Muffin Shareef Johnson, Shareef Johnson's Bodyguards #1, #2 (OSL)

8. VIRUS: Hotstuff Ben Quick, Fabulous Johnny Styles, Ravishing Rick Ross (PAL)
VIRUS: Psychotic Clown, Yur Mama, The Penniless Peasant (BTL)
last of the teams with 521

10. DICE: Deathmatch Celebrity Marilyn Manson, Hunter Hearst Pence, DICE/TSD: "Bi Polar" Mania (MIL)
ranked #6 last time

U.S. Six-man Champions

EDGE: Ultra League Assassins #1, #2, Terminator Terry Danger (NAL)
Shaun Sims; share of $20,000

EDGE: Constrictor Clyde Cozworth, Big Bad Brody Ballistic, Gordie the Goodguy Goodwood (BRL)
Rich Schwartzenburg of Canada

VIRUS: "Drunk" Terry Flunk, Ravishing Rico Valentino, Hot Stuff Ben Quick (SAL)
Mitchell Johnson of Michigan; 521; edged DICE/CTI/LEGIT: Flying Scotsmen #1, #2, DICE: The Crow (APL)

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES

1. AWL (1,225 matches) 470.833

2. NWL (919 matches) 475.957

3. BRL (609 matches) 484.895

4. ESL (467 matches) 490.347

5. MML (445 matches) 486.821

6. TDL (424 matches) 491.946
won the two matches for $1 cycle for having the highest average strategy total (counting only active wrestlers)

7. LWL (405 matches) 489.286

8. NSL (348 matches) 488.500

9. ECL (319 matches) 488.944

10. UWL (308 matches) 491.783

 

TOP 20 VICTORIES -- active wrestlers only

1. "Mr. Powerful" Ken Lambeau (PKL) 14,432-1,714-393

2. APO: Gypsy Rose Lee (ECL) 7,851-1,430-415

3. Johnny "2 Kold" Koolakowski (IGL) 7,718-251-53

4. DICE: Mike Drake (HWL) 7,520-709-199

5. Arsenal (MML) 7,099-613-133

6. EDGE/DT: Mike White Lightning Moore (QPL) 7,088-1,638-316

7. Dimitrios the Traveler (ABL) 6,939-744-247

8. Easy E. Joe Cool (CWL) 6,665-893-223

9. JL6: The Hooded Inmate (IML) 6,593-1,241-234

10. LPPF: Innovator of Arrogance Keith A. Maple (GRL) 6,150-447-134

11. Cpl. Punishment (LBL) 5,950-388-108

12. DICE: Sir Gunther Kinderwacht (GRL) 5,789-554-149

13. ROW: Special Agent B.M.F. (JIL) 5,641-1,451-331

14. TSD/UA: The Survivor (ECL) 4,781-1,096-244

15. PAIN: Dragon Tzu (AAL) 4,755-1,959-418

16. PAIN: Manitou (AAL) 4,689-1,898-391

17. DFI: American Freedom Fighter E.J. (SHL) 4,535-847-237

18. PAIN: Cougar - WK (AAL) 4,504-1,950-411

19. DICE/CTI: Hardcore Johnny Awesome (ECL) 4,491-1,078-190

20. Death Warrant (MML) 4,387-279-68

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

Iron Federation

Center Stage, Extreme Action, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Iron Man, Murder Incorporated, Next Generation, Quick Pin, Wrestling Superstars, Xtreme Poison, Young Lions

Steel Federation

Absolute Pain, American Wrestling, Casting Couch, Eastern States Wrestling, Fighting Legends, Intense Impact, King of Kings, Last Man Standing, Mid-Atlantic Region, New Blood, Old School, Vicious Valkyries

Gold Federation

All Star, Battle Royal, Black Ops, Blood Bath, Chicago Legends, Classic Wrestling, Extraordinary Power, Federated Suns, Mat Mayhem, Mystic Diva, National Wrestling, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death, Union Express

Diamond Federation

American Bodyslam, American Legion, Dark Days, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Lethal Brawling, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling, Young Guns

Bronze Federation

Assassin's Order, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hot Streak, Iron Glove, Main Event, Men of Steel, Old Timer's, Raging Bull, Soul Asylum, Torture Chamber, Unknown Wrestler, Zombie Hunter

Jade Federation

Atomic Age, Bloody Terror, Jade Dragon, Just Incredible, Lone Wolf, Lovely Ladies, Primal Rage, Psychotic Killer, Pure Adrenaline, Smoking Gun, Super Hero, World Wrestling, Wrestlers Elite

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