IWA REPORT
Vol. 17, No. 10 -- Summer 2012
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HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES -- engraved plaque

Edward Karbler of Ohio

John "The Mask" Smith (BRL) 1,007-1,041-24, $2,326,500 *5

W.P. Mills of Wisconsin

SA: Prince of Pinfalls Peter Princeton (CFL) 1,062-199-30, $2,499,600 *27
Princeton's self-given sobriquet, and arrogant and insulting conduct, made him a "heat magnet" throughout his career, which he enjoyed. "Why would I want the approval of the ignorant masses?" he often asked. His career reached its apex at the end of 2008, when he won the IWA Bronze division championship. Although disdaining any need for a manager, Princeton did acknowledge the use of W.P. Mills for "certain mundane, secretarial matters." Asked about his plans after wrestling, Princeton haughtily replied, "That is absolutely none of your business!"

 

WORLD, U.S., KING OF THE RING

World Champion

ROW: Obama (EPL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; 501; $300,000 + 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt & 50 free matches

The IWA Coliseum is at full capacity as Obama pins some no-name wrestler managed by the Little MoFo and wins the IWA World Championship. Obama's manager, F.B.III, climbs into the ring and holds up his champion's hand in victory as a mixed reaction of cheering and boos come from the fans. F.B.III grabs the microphone from the ring announcer before he can even get out a single word.

F.B.III: "Let this be a message to scrubs all around the IWA world: anything is possible! It may have taken a few years of vigorous training, but in the end, my boys got the job done! Even though this is only my first time winning this prestigious title, it definitely won't be the last! DICE, you're now living on borrowed time, and the timekeeper says it's time for you to pay up!"

F.B.III hands Obama the microphone, and holds the World title high over his head.

Obama: "Today is a great day -- a day of reckoning! That is why I'm honored to bring this title home to ROW. I only wish that my tag partner, Osama, could be here. I'm sure he's off designing a new line of underwear products for Al-Qaeda somewhere, creating job security for me. Anyway, now that I'm the World Champ, it's clear to all of you and me that I am the FUTURE of this sport! This is just the beginning, as I become a Legend in my own mind! With that being said, there is clearly only one home suitable for me at this time! LPPF already has Legends from the Past and Present; now they will have the Legends from the FUTURE!"

Obama drops the mic and grabs one side of the World title as F.B.III grabs the other side, and they both lift the title into the air as the camera focuses on them and fades to black.

U.S. Champion

Chris Smith (NWL)
Chris Smith of Ohio; 501; $60,000 + a plaque or 25 free matches

King of the Ring

Easy E. Joe Cool (CWL)
Dimitrios Zervas of New York; a plaque or 25 free matches; 275 KotR total; hold positions were 1, 4, 5, 9, 10, 11, 13, 14; battle royal hold positions were 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8, 12, 15

 

SPECIALTY TITLES -- $25,000 + 10 free matches

American Champion

Manslaughter Spike Savage (BRL)
Chris Capps of South Carolina; 500; edged DICE/NYB: Icepick (XPL), DICE/NYB: Everybody Gets Hurt (ASL)

Asiatic Champion

Bobby Boucher (NDL)
"The Game" from Parts Unknown; 500

Hardcore Champion

The Technician (TDL)
"The Game"; 500; edged DICE/NYB: D.K. Drake (DDL)

Metropolitan Champion

Spike Savage
20 free matches; edged Icepick

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS -- $40,000 + 25 free matches

Iron Federation Champion

DICE/NYB: Icepick (XPL)
Anthony Dudick of New York; 500

Steel Federation Champion

DICE: Rafael Van der Vaart (APL)
John Gabriel of Pennsylvania; 500

Gold Federation Champion

ROW: Obama (EPL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; 501

Diamond Federation Champion

DICE: Hardrider III (NFL)
Anthony Dudick; 501

Bronze Federation Champion

Hobbes (TCL)
"The Game" from Parts Unknown; 499; edged LPPF/KDSN: Curvy Kimberly Kardashian (RBL)

Jade Federation Champion

ROW: Dungeon Dweller (BTL)
Frank Jay Belcher III; 501

 

NATIONAL, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS -- $20,000

National Champion

The Masterpiece (TDL)
"The Game" from Parts Unknown; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; Dixie region

Atlantic Champion

"The Game's" Assassin #3 (BRL)
"The Game"; 500

Central Champion

ROW: Starvin Marvin (MIL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; 500; edged DICE: Nate Hatred (HWL)

Eastern Champion

DICE/NYB: Full Blown Chaos (ASL)
Anthony Dudick of New York; 500; edged DICE/NYB/CTI: Cut Throat Warrior (XPL), DICE: Lance (NBL)

Mountain Champion

LPPF/KDSN: World's Greatest Mother Kris Jenner (NAL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 501

Northern Champion

ROW: Miss Bone Breaker (PKL)
Mitchell Johnson of Michigan; 501

Pacific Champion

The Pontiff of Prophets (TDL)
"The Game"; 500

Prairie Champion

The Creation Chris Magnum (BRL)
Chris Capps of South Carolina; 500

Southern Champion

DICE: Bloodshed Brawler MD (HWL)
Michael Drake of New York; 501

Western Champion

LPPF: Extreme Street Hustle Tim A. Maple (BRL)
Keith A. Maple of Ohio; 499

 

LADIES' TITLES

Ladies' World Champion

DICE: "Sick Girl" Isabelle Shea (MDL)
Anthony Dudick of New York; manager held title 4 cycles in a row; 500; $40,000 + a plaque or 15 free matches

Ladies' U.S. Champion

"Evil" Eve Torres (MDL)
"The Game" from Parts Unknown; 500; $20,000

Queen of the Ring

DICE: "D.L.C.S.W." Lenore Sabatella (FFL)
Anthony Dudick; 270 QotR total

Ladies' National Champion

DICE: Nasty Nicole Richie (VVL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi; 499

Ladies' Tag-team Champions

DICE: Penny Flame & Taya Parker (LLL)
John Gabriel of Pennsylvania; manager retained titles; edged DICE: "Hard Candy" Hayley Stark & Isabelle Shea, DICE: "Babygirl" Brittney Rage & "Droppin' Jaws" Jessica Havoc (VVL)

Ladies' U.S. Tag-team Champions

DICE: "The Angel of Death" Daniella & "The Black Widow" Brianna Trueblood (MDL)
Anthony Dudick; manager retained titles

World Six-woman Champions

Rebel Skyla, COT: Joyce, Julie Acres (MDL)
Erik Davis of Washington (Skyla) & Caleb Kaffenbarger of Ohio; edged DICE: "Merciless" Mandy Mayhem, "Heartless" Heather Havoc, "Ruthless" Rachel Rage (VVL)

U.S. Six-woman Champions

DICE: "The Angel of Mercy" Melissa, Daniella, Brianna Trueblood
Anthony Dudick; manager held titles 5 cycles in a row

 

TAG-TEAM TITLES

World Tag-team Champions

EDGE: The Jade Dragon & Ugg the Barbarian (JDL)
Mike Dorsett of New York; $50,000 + 15 free matches

Top Contenders

2. DICE: Leroy "The Lunchbox" Brown & Travis "The Brick" Wahle (BRL)

3. EDGE: John Wayne Gretzky & George Michael Jackson (NSL)

4. EDGE: Mr. Suh & Apocalypse (FLL)

5. DICE/NYB: Burnt Out Brawlers #4 & #5 (HWL)
previous champions

6. DICE/CTI: Lian & Ryan McPoyle (ECL)

7. UKA: Jerry "Boom Boom" Gordy & "Southern Comfort" Michael Haze (MRL)
last of the teams with 516

8. EDGE: Tagalog & Ilocano (ABL)

9. DICE: "The Rock 'N' Roll Kid" Johnny Wildfire & Arson (GRL)

10. DICE: Jerry "The King" Lawler & "Mad Dog" Buzz Sawyer (WWL)

U.S. Tag-team Champions

Skull Crusher Jack Danger & Slaughterhouse Blade Steele (BRL)
Chris Capps of South Carolina; 516; $20,000

 

SIX-MAN TITLES

World Six-man Champions

DICE/NYB: Sworn Enemy, Denied, Irate (BTL)
Anthony Dudick of New York; manager held titles 6 cycles in a row; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

DICE: Homicide, Sick Psychotic Freak, DICE/TSD: Broken Dissociative Psyche Unknown Enemy (MIL)
Michael Drake of New York, "Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont, Michael Giuliano of Connecticut; Drake & Duchaine held titles 4 cycles in a row

EDGE: The Feature Freddy, Flawless Floyd, Fearless Frank Flamingo (LSL)
Mike Dorsett of New York; manager held titles 3 cycles in a row

"Bullet Proof" Danny Able, Jack Pollock, DICE/KING: Young Bloom (APL)
John Gabriel & Mike Carver (Bloom), both of Pennsylvania

Top Contenders

5. EDGE: Dominion Master, The Lethal Lobbyist, Sweet James Jones (PML)
last of the teams with 521

6. EDGE: Carmelo Anthony Hopkins, Ron Paul Rudd, LeBron James Gandolfini (NSL)
DICE/NYB: Born From Pain, Death Before Dishonor, Furious Styles (ASL)

8. DICE: "Hammer-Wielding Killer" Jeremy Beast, "The Pig-Faced Killer" Robert Porkchop, "The Orphan Killer" Marcus Miller (MEL)

9. Lightning Johnny Colt, Firestorm Seth Magnum, Hurricane Chris Luger (BBL)

10. DICE: Punch Ya Face, Kick Ya Teeth In, Gizzy "The Razor" Ciccireno (PKL)

U.S. Six-man Champions

EDGE: Carl Otis Winslow, L-Train Lionel Jefferson, Fast Freddy Sanford (LSL)
Kevin Hurley of Canada; 521; $20,000

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES

1. NWL (1,314 matches) 474.319

2. AWL (927 matches) 471.239

3. BRL (889 matches) 483.705

4. LWL (704 matches) 491.130

5. HWL (532 matches) 493.868
won the two matches for $1 cycle for having the highest average strategy total (counting only active wrestlers)

6. XPL (516 matches) 493.029

7. UWL (508 matches) 491.951

8. MML (464 matches) 488.857

9. ESL (454 matches) 491.611

10. NAL (406 matches) 491.839

 

TOP 20 VICTORIES -- active wrestlers only

1. "Mr. Powerful" Ken Lambeau (PKL) 13,989-1,651-377

2. APO: Gypsy Rose Lee (ECL) 7,505-1,363-398

3. DICE: Mike Drake (DDL) 7,380-679-194

4. Johnny "2 Kold" Koolakowski (LOL) 7,374-245-52

5. EDGE/DT: Mike White Lightning Moore (QPL) 7,078-1,625-314

6. Dimitrios the Traveler (ABL) 6,902-733-247

7. Arsenal (BBL) 6,627-561-127

8. Easy E. Joe Cool (CWL) 6,538-887-221

9. JL6: The Hooded Inmate (IML) 6,476-1,231-232

10. LPPF: Innovator of Arrogance Keith A. Maple (BRL) 5,856-433-132

11. PAIN: Cpl. Punishment (LBL) 5,704-384-104

12. DICE: Sir Gunther Kinderwacht (GRL) 5,632-532-146

13. ROW: Special Agent B.M.F. (JIL) 5,514-1,413-328

14. PAIN: Dragon Tzu (AAL) 4,719-1,941-411

15. DICE/TSD: The Survivor (ECL) 4,656-1,069-235

16. PAIN: Manitou (AAL) 4,613-1,890-388

17. PAIN: Cougar - WK (AAL) 4,465-1,928-409

18. DFI: American Freedom Fighter E.J. (SHL) 4,448-836-232

19. DICE/CTI: Hardcore Johnny Awesome (ECL) 4,391-1,056-185

20. Death Warrant (MML) 4,300-263-67

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

Iron Federation

Center Stage, Extreme Action, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Iron Man, Jersey City Wrestling, Murder Incorporated, Next Generation, Quick Pin, Rising Stars, Wrestling Federation, Wrestling Superstars, Xtreme Poison, Young Lions

Steel Federation

Absolute Pain, American Wrestling, Casting Couch, Eastern States Wrestling, Fighting Legends, Intense Impact, King Kong, Last Man Standing, Mid-Atlantic Region, New Blood, Old School, Pure Madness, Vicious Valkyries

Gold Federation

All Star, Battle Royal, Black Ops, Blood Bath, Chicago Legends, Classic Wrestling, Extraordinary Power, Federated Suns, Mat Mayhem, Mystic Diva, National Wrestling, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death, Union Express

Diamond Federation

American Bodyslam, American Legion, Dark Days, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Last Breath, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling, Young Guns

Bronze Federation

Assassin's Order, Coffin Filler, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hot Streak, Iron Glove, Main Event, Men of Steel, Old Timer's, Raging Bull, Soul Asylum, Torture Chamber, Unknown Wrestler, Zombie Hunter

Jade Federation

Atomic Age, Bloody Terror, Jade Dragon, Just Incredible, Lone Wolf, Lovely Ladies, Primal Rage, Psychotic Killer, Pure Adrenaline, Smoking Gun, Super Hero, World Wrestling, Wrestlers Elite

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