IWA REPORT
Vol. 17, No. 9 -- July 2012
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HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES -- engraved plaque

Jason Hixenbaugh of Alabama

ROW: Rammer Jammer (BRL) 2,828-524-180, $4,698,800 *33

 

WORLD, U.S., KING OF THE RING

World Champion

EDGE: Brother Rakim (EPL)
Garett Guzman of Nevada; 501; $300,000 + 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt & 50 free matches

A record-breaking attendance remains gathered after the final match of a house show at UNLV's Thomas & Mack Center. Everyone is waiting to catch a glimpse of the new IWA World Heavyweight Champion, Brother Rakim, and his manager and local celebrity/international philanthropist, Garett Guzman. Scattered in the stands are elaborate, fan-made posters; among them: "Pope Guz 4 Prez 2012," "MoFo WHO?!," "Hoggy 3:16," and "GAME OVER." Suddenly, the opening beats to Brother Rakim's ring music, "Still" by Geto Boys, start to bump over the speakers. The packed house instantly rises to its feet and collectively gazes toward the entrance ramp in anticipation. Green smoke bellows from behind the curtains and permeates an arena of 20,000+ fans now rhythmically bobbing their heads. Guzman, clad in tailored Armani threads, and Brother Rakim, in his trademark apparel -- gold chains, a white t-shirt, and oversized khakis -- appear from behind the backstage curtains. Accompanying them toward the ring is EDGE associate and five-time IWA World Champion manager The Illustrious Ishtar. While Rakim paces the mat with his brand new belt draped over his shoulder and Ishtar makes threatening gestures toward some random hecklers in the front row nearby, Guzman calls for the mic and takes center stage: "So here we are, Las Vegas... NUMBER SIX! This certainly isn't our last World title, but we'll remember this one because we are going to party TONIGHT!" The crowd responds with much enthusiasm. "I even flew out my good buddy, The Illustrious Ishtar, for the weekend to celebrate and partake in the many fine pleasures that only Sin City can offer. Ish, here's to you, my friend. Through your unquestioned loyalty and die-hard commitment to winning, you've served as a personal inspiration for so many years, and I dedicate this landmark championship to you, brother." The two longtime stablemates shake hands and hug before the cheering audience of thousands. No sooner does Ishtar ask for the mic to speak a few words in kind does Brother Rakim strike him in the face with the World title belt. The Arabian tycoon crumples to the mat, stunned, whereupon Guzman follows up with repeated kicks to his head and midsection. The World Heavyweight Champion slides out of the ring and procures from beneath the apron a metal folding chair. Climbing back in, he positions the chair in the center of the mat and brings the Illustrious One to his feet. Rakim plays to the now-shocked crowd for several moments before executing his patented finisher, the Ghettoblaster, directly onto the metal chair. The unsuspecting Ishtar lies motionless, while Guzman gets back on the mic: "I've been waiting a long time for this, old friend. I want you never to forget today. I've always been better than you, but now it's carved in the record books! I'm the best of the best, pal." The hometown hero shares a laugh with his EPL superstar, as "Still" once again hits the sound system. Brother Rakim raises the most coveted prize in all of the IWA high above his head to the uncertain reaction of the bewildered fans.

U.S. Champion

EDGE: Executioner Sean Danger (PML)
Shaun Sims of Maryland; 500; $60,000 + a plaque or 25 free matches; edged LPPF/KDSN: The Mature Sister Kourtney Kardashian (LSL), DICE: "The Superfly Pimp" Tyrell Styles (NBL), Ramses II (WSL), King Arthur (RSL), EDGE: Master Mang (IIL)

King of the Ring

Death Warrant (MWL)
James Dermott of New York; a plaque or 25 free matches; 276 KotR total; hold positions were 1, 3, 4, 8, 9, 13, 14, 15; battle royal hold positions were 2, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11, 12

 

SPECIALTY TITLES -- $25,000 + 10 free matches

American Champion

DICE: Hydro Crush (TCL)
"Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont; 499

Asiatic Champion

DICE/NYB: Mr. Hyde (NBL)
Anthony Dudick of New York; 500

Hardcore Champion

DICE: Neal C. Kendall (GRL)
Neal Kendall of Missouri; 501

Metropolitan Champion

EDGE: Mister Fantastic (LWL)
Geoff Silva of Massachusetts; 499; 10 free matches

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS -- $40,000 + 25 free matches

Iron Federation Champion

Sir Lancelot (RSL)
"The Game" from Parts Unknown; manager retained title; 501

Steel Federation Champion

DICE/NYB: Mr. Hyde (NBL)
Anthony Dudick of New York; 500; edged BURN: The Basket Case Sid Skyscraper (IIL), DICE: Ruud van Nistelrooy (APL), Franchise Devon Gold (PML), ROW/COMMISH: F.B.III (KKL)

Gold Federation Champion

EDGE: Brother Rakim (EPL)
Garett Guzman of Nevada; 501

Diamond Federation Champion

SITH: Darth Bedlam (NSL)
Dennis Mooney of New Jersey; 499

Bronze Federation Champion

DICE: Neal C. Kendall (GRL)
Neal Kendall of Missouri; 501

Jade Federation Champion

EDGE: Mister Fantastic (LWL)
Geoff Silva of Massachusetts; 499; edged DICE/NYB: Ligeria (BTL)

 

NATIONAL, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS -- $20,000

National Champion

BURN: Iron Mike Schultz (MRL)
Glenn Mazura of Virginia; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; Eastern region; edged UKA: "Mr. Minnesota" Olaf Gustavson (QPL)

Atlantic Champion

ROW: Scrub Killer Karen Hoffe (WEL)
Robert Coplin of California; 500

Central Champion

BURN: TH1RTE3N (IIL)
Solomon Shaw of Maine; 500

Dixie Champion

DICE/NYB: James "Jus Allah" Bostick (NBL)
Anthony Dudick of New York; 500

Mountain Champion

DICE/NYB: Kingdom of Sorrow (BTL)
Anthony Dudick; 499

Northern Champion

Perfection (PML)
Joshua Haight of Wisconsin; 500

Pacific Champion

ROW: Toxic Warrior (PKL)
Robert Coplin; 500

Prairie Champion

Xerxes (WSL)
"The Game" from Parts Unknown; 499; edged ROW: Dungeon Dweller (BTL)

Southern Champion

BURN: Big Boss Mann (IIL)
Solomon Shaw; 500

Western Champion

DICE: Sick Nick Mondo (HWL)
George Zimilinghaus of New York; edged DICE: Mr. Buttons (GRL), Archangel Raziel (RSL)

 

LADIES' TITLES

Ladies' World Champion

DICE: "Ruthless" Rachel Rage (VVL)
Anthony Dudick of New York; manager held title 3 cycles in a row; 500; $40,000 + a plaque or 15 free matches

Ladies' U.S. Champion

DICE: "Angel Eyes" Amber Love (VVL)
Anthony Dudick; 500; $20,000

Queen of the Ring

LPPF: Little Lady (FFL)
Erik Davis of Washington; 263 QotR total

Ladies' National Champion

"Vain" Vanessa Marcil (MDL)
"The Game" from Parts Unknown; 501

Ladies' Tag-team Champions

DICE: Sophie Dee & Lacey Duvalle (LLL)
John Gabriel of Pennsylvania

Ladies' U.S. Tag-team Champions

DICE: "Lovable" Lela Star & "Naughty" Natalia Rossi (LLL)
Anthony Dudick

World Six-woman Champions

DICE/TTJ: "Luscious" Lexi Diamond, "Adorable" Amia Miley, "Magnetic" Melanie Rios (LLL)
Anthony Dudick; moved up from U.S. Six-woman titles; 521

U.S. Six-woman Champions

DICE: "Merciless" Mandy Mayhem, "Heartless" Heather Havoc, Rachel Rage
Anthony Dudick; manager held titles 4 cycles in a row

 

TAG-TEAM TITLES

World Tag-team Champions

DICE: "Meathead" Max Muscle & Classy Eddie Degrassi (BRL)
Anthony Dudick of New York & "Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont; managers retained titles; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

DICE/NYB: Burnt Out Brawlers #4 & #5 (HWL)
Anthony Dudick

Top Contenders

3. LPPF: Kevin & Kerry Von Damme (MRL)

4. DICE: Mark Henry & Alex Riley (WWL)
UKA: Degenerate Gambler & Another Guy from Minnesota (JDL)
Superquake & Excellence (IGL)

7. DICE: The Masochist Carver Duchaine & Doctor of Style Neal C. Kendall (CCL)
last of the teams with 516

8. DICE/NYB: ill Bill & Necro (NBL)

9. CORE: Brian Coldheart & Chris Coldstone (JIL)

10. LPPF: The Rattler & The Extremist (CSL)

U.S. Tag-team Champions

DICE: Neal C. Kendall & Inferno (GRL)
Neal Kendall of Missouri & Mark Duchaine; 516; $20,000; edged DICE: "The Playa" Jamal Branton & "The Superfly Pimp" Tyrell Styles (NBL)

 

SIX-MAN TITLES

World Six-man Champions

DICE: Masked German Chainsaw, Steve Corino, Robbie Ego (MIL)
"Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont (Chainsaw) & Michael Drake of New York; retained titles; managers held titles 3 cycles in a row; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

DICE/NYB: Burnt Out Brawlers #7, #8, #9 (HWL)
Anthony Dudick of New York; manager held titles 5 cycles in a row

EDGE: Beautiful Benny, Magnificent Maurice, The Strategist Simon Steel (BRL)
Mike Dorsett of New York; manager retained titles

BURN: Majestic Mikal Overstar, The War Machine, Cardiac Arrest (EAL)
Nathan Jendrick of Washington (Overstar) & Solomon Shaw of Maine

UKA: Bad News Hughes, "The Aerialist" Aiden Davies, One Man Dance Party (RSL)
Kevin Burr of Virginia

Top Contenders

6. UKA: Foot Soldiers #1, #2, #3 (JDL)

7. DICE/RIP: "Mr. Perfect" Curt Hennig, DICE: Mason Ryan, "Die Hard" Eddie Edwards (WWL)
last of the teams with 521

8. CORE: Brian Coldheart, Chris Coldstone, Johnny Cage (JIL)

9. EDGE: Death Dealer, Death Magnet, Death Incarnate (YLL)
DICE: Iron Dick Carver, The MVP Jimmy Rollins, Mike Saint Carver (PKL)
ROW: Lord Humongous, The Penniless Peasant, Dungeon Dweller (BTL)

U.S. Six-man Champions

DICE: Dirk Draven, Necronomicon, COT: "The Rebel" Johnny Yuma (MIL)
Michael Drake, Mark Duchaine, Caleb Kaffenbarger of Ohio; share of $20,000

BURN: Dead Romeo, Dark Horse Bane Blackheart, The Lightning Kidd (EAL)
Nathan Jendrick (Romeo) & Solomon Shaw

DICE/NYB: Billy Club Sandwich, Chimaira, The Cavalera Conspiracy (BTL)
Anthony Dudick; 521; edged EDGE: Rasmuth, Cuthrak, Ollis Rage (BRL), DICE: Kassius Ono, Robert Roode, Brodus Clay (WWL)

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES

1. NWL (1,306 matches) 473.266

2. AWL (979 matches) 458.837

3. BRL (840 matches) 474.916

4. LWL (776 matches) 493.308
won the two matches for $1 cycle for having the highest average strategy total (counting only active wrestlers)

5. UWL (523 matches) 490.837

6. XPL (477 matches) 492.970

7. MRL (441 matches) 492.969

8. MML (422 matches) 485.737

9. TDL (392 matches) 491.018

10. NAL (372 matches) 491.217

 

TOP 20 STARS -- active wrestlers only

1. DICE: Wonderful Wally Brown (GRL) 90

2. DICE: Sinister Steve Stryker (CSL) 80

3. LPPF: Medieval Tymes (NAL)
DICE: Sir Gunther Kinderwacht (GRL) 77

5. EDGE/DT: Mike White Lightning Moore (QPL)
DICE: Nightmare Sam Hell (BRL) 75

7. LPPF: Innovator of Arrogance Keith A. Maple (BRL) 74

8. DICE: Diesel Duddick (GRL)
CORE: Johnny Cage (JIL) 72

10. CORE: Chris Coldstone (JIL) 71

11. DICE: "The Big Mofo" Anthony Dudick (MEL)
DICE: Lord of Illusions (BRL) 68

13. EDGE: Danny S. Spivey (TDL)
Steve "The Sandman" Sands (KKL) 66

15. EDGE: Ollis Rage (JDL)
DICE: Sammy Solar (OSL) 65

17. LPPF: Bloody Assault Jessica Lee Richards (LLL)
EDGE: Warchild (EHL) 64

19. LPPF: Wyld Stooge Larry Logan (PKL) 63

20. EDGE: Black Knight (IML)
Dimitrios the Traveler (ABL)
DICE: Dr. Doom Dex Storm (OSL)
Executioner (LBL)
EDGE: Mike White Lightning Moore (BRL)
DICE/NYB: Mr. Hyde (NBL) 62

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

Iron Federation

Center Stage, Extreme Action, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Iron Man, Jersey City Wrestling, Murder Incorporated, Next Generation, Quick Pin, Rising Stars, Wrestling Federation, Wrestling Superstars, Xtreme Poison, Young Lions

Steel Federation

Absolute Pain, American Wrestling, Casting Couch, Eastern States Wrestling, Fighting Legends, Intense Impact, King Kong, Last Man Standing, Mid-Atlantic Region, New Blood, Old School, Pure Madness, Vicious Valkyries

Gold Federation

All Star, Battle Royal, Black Ops, Blood Bath, Chicago Legends, Classic Wrestling, Extraordinary Power, Federated Suns, Mat Mayhem, Mystic Diva, National Wrestling, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death, Union Express

Diamond Federation

American Bodyslam, American Legion, Dark Days, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Last Breath, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling, Young Guns

Bronze Federation

Assassin's Order, Coffin Filler, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hot Streak, Iron Glove, Main Event, Men of Steel, Old Timer's, Raging Bull, Soul Asylum, Torture Chamber, Unknown Wrestler, Zombie Hunter

Jade Federation

Atomic Age, Bloody Terror, Jade Dragon, Just Incredible, Lone Wolf, Lovely Ladies, Primal Rage, Psychotic Killer, Pure Adrenaline, Smoking Gun, Super Hero, World Wrestling, Wrestlers Elite

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