IWA REPORT
Vol. 16, No. 17 -- December 2011
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JOHNNY B SAYS

Start 2012 with a better record! You may remove up to 10 losses from your wrestler's record next cycle. Each loss will cost $10,000 of his or her imaginary money. Neatly print the following on a piece of paper: "Drop 10 losses from my wrestler, ID #123" (choose from 1 to 10 losses, and use your wrestler's ID number instead of 123). Be sure to separate the request from your trash talk by skipping some space. Include this paper with your league matches. You may subtract losses from as many of your wrestlers as you wish, as long as each can afford it.

 

HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES -- engraved plaque

Marc Phaneuf of Rhode Island

Matthew Worne (MRL) 1,640-611-110, $3,294,800 *25
Dick Tater (MRL) 1,347-674-106, $3,374,700 *21
"Cap'N' Redneck" Dickie Hamhock (MRL) 1,608-529-119, $4,932,100 *23
Longtime manager Marc Phaneuf is retiring from the MRL. His wrestlers, Matthew Worne, Dick Tater, and Dickie Hamhock, will be enshrined in the IWA Hall of Fame. Marc left his fans with this comment: "It has been an honor to be a part of the IWA's greatest league for several years. I consider the IWA commissioner's titles that I held to be the highlights of my 14 years in the game. Managers looking for the best role-playing opportunities are truly missing out if they don't try the MRL."

Ed Pessalano of New York

Moon Handler Stax (PAL) 1,047-416, $1,085,300
Moon Handler Stax has spent his entire career in the PAL. Known for being the "Crown Prince of Hardcore," he has won the Southern Championship, is a two-time TV six-man champion, and came in third place in the league's 2011 Texas Bull Rope Specialty Championship tournament. He is the only wrestler in PAL history to retire with the most wins. He will also be remembered as the first ever PAL superstar to retire into the IWA Hall of Fame.

Next cycle, a legend retires! Stay tuned...

 

WORLD, U.S., KING OF THE RING

World Heavyweight Champion

EDGE: Ferocious Fawn Figurine (WSL)
Jason P. Miller of California; 501; $300,000 + 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt & 50 free matches

U.S. Champion

MR.X: Adm. Poopy-pants & his Dancing Teeth (MIL)
Jim "Hellwig" Gabbard from Parts Unknown; 500; $60,000 + a plaque or 25 free matches; edged EDGE: Bobby Pin (TDL), EDGE: Insult Jock (HWL), EDGE: Youngblood Johnny Crimson (CSL), DFI: The American Protector (SHL)

King of the Ring

Æ/FC: GZ 6 Pack (NFL)
George Zimilinghaus of New York; a plaque or 25 free matches; 274 KotR total; edged NGAA: Hawkeye Science (NGL); hold positions were 1, 4, 6, 7, 9, 11, 13, 15; battle royal hold positions were 2, 3, 5, 8, 9, 10, 12, 14

 

SPECIALTY TITLES -- $25,000 + 10 free matches

American Champion

Æ/LPPF: Sir Dancealot (AAL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi; 500; edged EDGE: Vercyntorix (BRL)

Asiatic Champion

EDGE: Youngblood Johnny Debonair (CSL)
John Durrani of Connecticut; 500; edged APO: Duke Dangerous (ECL), Æ: Nightmare Sam Hell (NDL)

Hardcore Champion

EDGE: The Murderer Marcus Disaster (RYL)
Mike Dorsett of New York; 500; edged EDGE: Snake Eyes (HWL)

Metropolitan Champion

Y2N Nick Jericho (JIL)
Darrell Johnson of Vermont; 500; 10 free matches; edged Goober Dog (AWL)

Cruiserweight Champion

Goober Dog (AWL)
Bryan Rhodes of Texas; 500

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS -- $40,000 + 25 free matches

Iron Federation Champion

EDGE: Ferocious Fawn Figurine (WSL)
Jason P. Miller of California; 501; edged EDGE: Ultimate Supreme (NGL), Æ: Prince of Perfection (QPL), EDGE: "Tantalizing" Rick Crude (WFL)

Steel Federation Champion

EDGE: The Murderer Marcus Disaster (RYL)
Mike Dorsett of New York; 500; edged Swamp Man (LSL), Goober Dog (AWL)

Gold Federation Champion

EDGE: The Iconic Sheik (UEL)
Kevin Hurley of Canada; 501

Diamond Federation Champion

APO: Duke Dangerous (ECL)
Austin Pierce of Wisconsin; 500

Bronze Federation Champion

Æ: Revolution Warrior Senshi (HSL)
Michael Drake of New York; manager retained title; 499; edged UKA: Bear O'Neal (GRL)

Jade Federation Champion

Æ/LPPF: Sir Dancealot (AAL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi; 500; edged Y2N Nick Jericho (JIL), Æ/LPPF: Rick Diamond (SHL)

 

NATIONAL, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS -- $20,000

National Champion

Æ: Adam (MSL)
Gregg Boyle of Maryland; 500; a plaque or 25 free matches; Dixie region; edged Æ: Memphis Raines (ASL), Æ/FC: GZstradamus (XPL)

Atlantic Champion

Æ: Teddy Hart (QPL)
Michael Drake of New York; 500; edged Æ: AJ Flame (CLL), EDGE: Bobby "The Bear" Barishnakov (NDL), Æ: Douggie Brewster (YLL)

Central Champion

OSA: Toxic Warrior (PKL)
Robert Coplin of California; 500; edged EDGE: CABS ARE HERE!!! (HWL), Æ: Fabulous Frank Fontana (QPL), Sting Ray (AWL)

Eastern Champion

BURN: The Monster of Florence (JCL)
Solomon Shaw of Maine; 500; edged PAIN: Homicide (AAL)

Mountain Champion

Æ: Tyler Black (QPL)
Michael Drake; 500

Northern Champion

UL/AOE/LEGACY: Skittles (AAL)
Darrell Johnson of Vermont; 500; edged EDGE: Garland Greene (CSL)

Pacific Champion

EDGE: Ice Weazel (HWL)
John Durrani of Connecticut; 500

Prairie Champion

BURN: "Lord of the Undead" Solomon Grundy (FSL)
Solomon Shaw; 499

Southern Champion

Æ: Jack Evans (QPL)
Michael Drake; 500

Western Champion

EDGE: Colten Steele (AAL)
Darrell Johnson; 500

 

LADIES' TITLES

Ladies' World Champion

BURN: Zombie Sexy (MDL)
Solomon Shaw of Maine; manager retained title; 500; $40,000 + a plaque or 15 free matches; edged OSA: Sarah Palin (LLL)

Ladies' U.S. Champion

BURN: DeadGirl (MDL)
Solomon Shaw; 500; $20,000

Queen of the Ring

"Cowgirl" Mary Hall (VVL)
Ray Smith of Pennsylvania; 273 QotR total

Ladies' National Champion

EDGE: The Hulkster Heather Hogan (MDL)
"The Immortal" Shareef Johnson of New Jersey; 499

Ladies' Tag-team Champions

Æ: Bobbi Starr & Linda Leech (LLL)
John Gabriel of Pennsylvania; 516

Ladies' U.S. Tag-team Champions

Æ: Roxxi Rampage & Queen of the Revolution (FFL)
Michael Drake of New York

World Six-woman Champions

EDGE: Femmes Fatales Fire, Glory, Victory (MDL)
Michael Latsko of Ohio; manager retained titles

Æ/FC: Fight Club Cara, Cindy, Crissy (FFL)
George Zimilinghaus of New York; 521

U.S. Six-woman Champions

EDGE: Femmes Fatales Stealth, Midnight, Shadow (MDL)
Michael Latsko

 

TAG-TEAM TITLES

World Tag-team Champions

EDGE: Snake Eyes & BURN: The Snake-Man (JCL)
John Durrani of Connecticut & Solomon Shaw of Maine; managers retained titles; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

Æ: "Simply Shredded" Carlos Sustanon & Assassin Beast Neckrusha (ASL)
Anthony Dudick of New York & Maurice Plante of Canada; Dudick retained titles

Æ: Killer Kenny & Brutal Barry Stryker (CSL)
"Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont

Top Contenders

4. Æ: Soldiers of Retribution #4 & #5 (SAL)

5. EDGE: Mr. Perfect Marcus Steel & the Shogun Yoshi Toronaga (DDL)

6. Æ: "Pride Before Fall" T.Z. & "The Self Righteous Wrath" J.D. (ECL)
previous champions

7. Æ: Raging Powerhouse Ricky A. & Innovator of Arrogance Keith A. Maple (XPL)
last of the teams with 516

8. UKA: Kamden Ryker & "The Real Deal" Viper (CWL)

9. MEM: The Masked Marvel & Sin Cara (ABL)

10. Æ: The Character & Dark Secrets (PAL)

U.S. Tag-team Champions

BURN: "Criminal Battery" Gunner Wolf & EDGE: Skyscraper J.D. Mustang (FSL)
Solomon Shaw & John Durrani; Durrani retained titles; share of $20,000

Æ: Prodigy Mike D. & Æ/FC: Z-Man (HWL)
Michael Drake & George Zimilinghaus, both of New York

EDGE: Black Mamba & Bobby Pin (TDL)
Jason P. Miller of California; 516; edged EDGE: Short Fuze & BURN: The Monster of Florence (JCL)

 

SIX-MAN TITLES

World Six-man Champions

EDGE: The Messenger of Death, the Angel of Death, the Shadow of Death (YLL)
Mike Dorsett of New York; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

Æ: Johnny Moxley, Eddie Kingston, Masked President Obama (QPL)
Michael Drake of New York & Sly Smith of West Virginia (Obama)

BURN: Fire Chief Needles, One Mann Gang, the Lightning Kidd (EAL)
Nathan Jendrick of Washington (Needles) & Solomon Shaw of Maine

Æ: Born From Pain, Death Before Dishonor, Furious Styles (ASL)
Anthony Dudick of New York

Top Contenders

5. EDGE: Maximus, Omega, Orion Supreme (SGL)

6. EDGE: Judas Travellar, Stringfellow Hawke, Ravishing Rick Eerie (NDL)
previous champions
EDGE: "Hollywood" Joe Hawk, Possessed Pink Flamingo, "The Juggernaut" Joe Thunder (WSL)
EDGE: Michael Martinez, C.M. Junk, Hunter Hearst Pence (MIL)
UKA: Foot Soldiers #1, #2, #3 (JDL)

10. EDGE/RIP: "Playboy" Buddy Rose, EDGE: Lex Lotus, Mean Mark Maybach (XWL)
EDGE: Tony Cadillac, Young Bloom, the Crow (NSL)
EDGE: Tooth Scraper, Sho'nuff the Linja Dragon, Insult Jock (HWL)
EDGE: G.Q. Holiday, JD Gamble, Youngblood Johnny Crimson (CSL)

14. S.K.: Your Mom's Spirit, Your Dad's Spirit, Your Cat's Spirit (AAL)
last of the teams with 521

U.S. Six-man Champions

EDGE: Nikerov "The Nightmare," Bobby "The Bear" Barishnakov, the Hardboiled Hellraiser (NDL)
Mike Dorsett; share of $20,000

Æ/LPPF: Burnt Out Brawlers #1, #2, #3 (HWL)
Anthony Dudick

EDGE: "Real Deal" Derrick Rocket, "Next Big Thing" Blake Gun, "Double J" Joe Justice (EPL)
Michael Latsko of Ohio; 521; edged EDGE: Weeds, Citizen Kane, BURN: Dark Horse's Henchman #2 (FSL), 7-S: Lord Eddard Stark, 40 oz. Renegade Johnny Mustang, EDGE: Jacob Steele (TDL)

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES

1. AWL (703 matches) 472.313

2. PKL (634 matches) 491.293

3. LWL (551 matches) 489.833

4. NSL (530 matches) 492.071

5. XPL (515 matches) 493.415

6. JIL (441 matches) 491.353
MRL (441 matches) 487.879

8. ECL (439 matches) 490.863

9. HWL (434 matches) 493.559
won the two matches for $1 cycle for having the highest average strategy total (counting only active wrestlers)

10. ASL (422 matches) 492.765

 

TOP 20 MONEY HOLDERS -- active wrestlers only

1. Æ: Innovator of Arrogance Keith A. Maple (XPL) $16,948,600

2. "Mr. Powerful" Ken Lambeau (PKL) $16,759,600

3. EDGE/DT: Mike White Lightning Moore (QPL) $15,416,300

4. JL6: The Hooded Inmate (IML) $15,238,000

5. DFI: American Freedom Fighter E.J. (SHL) $12,887,138

6. Æ: Bloody Assault Jessica Lee Richards (FFL) $12,297,100

7. Æ/TSD: The Survivor (ECL) $12,085,000

8. CORE: Johnny Cage (JIL) $11,836,038

9. Æ: Sir Gunther Kinderwacht (NAL) $11,524,300

10. Gypsy Rose Lee (WSL) $11,420,679

11. Æ/LPPF: King Krusher (SHL) $11,400,800

12. ROW: Special Agent B.M.F. (JIL) $10,992,400

13. S4C: Willie Wino (NSL) $10,977,900

14. Easy E. Joe Cool (CWL) $10,571,400

15. CC: Danny Boy O'Day (NSL) $10,545,900

16. Æ: Mike Drake (DDL) $10,360,200

17. CC: Oliver Shagnasty (NSL) $10,013,000

18. EDGE: Motorheadbanger Annihilator (JIL) $9,808,600

19. Dimitrios the Traveler (ABL) $9,493,400

20. Æ: Wyld Stooge Larry Logan (PKL) $9,464,600

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

Iron Federation

Center Stage, Extreme Action, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Iron Man, Jersey City Wrestling, Manager Based, Murder Incorporated, Next Generation, Quick Pin, Rising Stars, Wrestling Federation, Wrestling Superstars, Xtreme Poison, Young Lions

Steel Federation

Absolute Pain, American Wrestling, Casting Couch, East Side Wrestling, Fighting Legends, Intense Impact, King Kong, Louisiana Swamp, Mid-Atlantic Region, New Blood, Old School, Praying Mantis, Rebel Yell, Vicious Valkyries, Zeus Power

Gold Federation

All Star, Battle Royal, Black Ops, Blood Bath, Chicago Legends, Classic Wrestling, Extraordinary Power, Federated Suns, Masked Wrestling, Mat Mayhem, Mystic Diva, National Wrestling, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death, Union Express

Diamond Federation

American Bodyslam, American Legion, Armed Forces, Dark Days, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Last Breath, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling, Young Guns

Bronze Federation

Assassin's Order, Coffin Filler, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hot Streak, Iron Glove, Main Event, Men of Steel, Old Timer's, Raging Bull, Soul Asylum, Torture Chamber, Zombie Hunter

Jade Federation

Atomic Age, Bloody Terror, Jade Dragon, Just Incredible, Lone Wolf, Lovely Ladies, Primal Rage, Psychotic Killer, Pure Adrenaline, Smoking Gun, South Central Wrestling, Super Hero, World Wrestling, Wrestlers Elite

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