IWA REPORT
Vol. 15, No. 14 -- October 2010
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HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES

The "Fire Scorpion" Retires

Raesta had been sitting at the desk for a long time, twiddling the ink pen in her fingers. The agreement lay on the table.

"Why!?" she mumbled to herself. "Why did it have to happen this way!? Beloved went inactive months ago; Kamala, the Ugandan Goddess, had retired without warning; even Raesta's husband had divorced her in a quiet but vicious settlement. No money had changed hands, but he had filed for a protective order requiring her to stay 500 feet away from him at all times. And while that hurt, he at least had not asked for alimony. Now she was free to return to her beloved New Mexico, along with an invitation to join the New Mexico Mental Health Administration as an advisor, complete with a salary equivalent to a Federal GS-11."

She sat there for a few moments more. "Well, at least I have enough money and wins to retire into the Hall of Fame [4,031-724-131, $6,370,200 *22]." She finally put pen to paper, and then it was official -- she was retired.

She folded the paper and put it in the accompanying envelope; picked up her travel bag; had one last look about the apartment; then opened the door, stepped outside, closed the door and left, dropping the envelope off at the office on her way out of the VVL headquarters.

(Paul C. Low of Maryland, who supplied Guerrera's excellent write-up, will receive an engraved plaque.)

 

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION

"Gold Dust Woman" by Hole plays as Æ: Domination (DDL) is making his way to the podium. (A hush grows over the crowd.) His manager, Scott Lowe from Salem, Missouri, follows along with Bloodshed Bob. Scott speaks: "Sorry, but Domination does not speak to anyone but me. Having said that, he wishes to thank all the haters out there who think he and the rest of his band are scrubs; we have just two fingers for you. Now, to the people who knew he could do it, such as his mentor, Bloodshed Bob: you need to take a bow, as well."

 

U.S. CHAMPION

The engraved plaque (or 25 free matches) that accompanies this title went home with Sly Smith of West Virginia, who armed Æ: The Golden ACE (MWL) with a perfect 501-point strategy!

 

KING OF THE RING

Keith A. Maple of Ohio began debating whether to choose an engraved plaque or 25 free matches as a reward upon seeing his wrestler, CAST: Wyld Stooge Larry Logan (PKL), win the King of the Ring crown! When adding up the values of the holds at positions 1, 4, 6, 7, 10, 11, 13, and 15 in each battle royal winner's strategy, Larry's score came out on top. His overall strategy was worth 499 points, as was the one belonging to Arsenal (DAL), who lost by point flow. EDGE: Colonel John J. Blade (SAL), Æ: King Club (MWL), and CAST: Guy from Minnesota (JDL) had the same 272-point KOTR total as Larry and Arsenal, but lesser overall strategies. The hold positions which determined the league battle royal outcomes were 2, 3, 4, 5, 8, 9, 12, and 14.

 

AMERICAN CHAMPION

CAST: Blaze Diablo (BRL) found himself $25,000 richer after defeating the champions of our other American leagues. Keith A. Maple of Ohio will receive 10 free matches for supplying Blaze's 500-pointer!

 

ASIATIC CHAMPION

The intense battle for the gold in our Asiatic division culminated with OUTLAWS: Blade (NBL) pinning an equally-weary CAST: Six Sigma Black Belt (CFL) and taking home the $25,000 purse! Blade is managed by Jennifer McCarthy of New Mexico, who adds 10 free matches to her rapidly growing collection. Each wrestler had a strategy worth 500 points.

 

HARDCORE CHAMPION

Before putting the World Heavyweight title belt around his waist, Æ: Domination (DDL) tore through our Hardcore leagues with his perfect 501-pointer, pocketing $25,000 in imaginary money and gaining 10 free matches for Scott Lowe of Salem, Missouri!

 

METROPOLITAN CHAMPION

Although still recovering from the brutal match which earned him the Asiatic Championship, OUTLAWS: Blade (NBL) managed to put up a good fight in defense of his Metropolitan title. In the end, though, TNE: Harley Mace proved to be too much for him, winning the coveted belt by a single point under point flow. (Each wrestler had a 500 total.) The MRL was already home to this champion twice this year, so manager Nicholas Hill of Georgia was awarded twenty free matches!

 

CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION

Representing the East Side Wrestling League, MIB: JEBUSA08 used his intimidating 500-point strategy to conquer the champions of our other rookie leagues and win the $25,000 prize! Ten free matches are on their way to his manager, John Bermudez of Ohio.

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS

Anthony Dudick of New York armed CAST/DFS: Pitchfork (XPL) with a 499-pointer, and its superior flow allowed his grappler to steal the Iron Federation honors out of the clutches of the top contender, EDGE: The False Prophet (IML). CTI: Butcher "Ground 'n' Pound" Hearst (APL) decided that one Steel Federation victory wasn't enough, so he retained his title! This gave his manager, "The Sexbomb of Rock 'n' Roll, 2 Dope 4 VH1" B.C. Empson, who is now residing on John Gabriel's couch, another 25 free matches. Also with 500 points but edged out for the belt were TNE: Harley Mace (MRL), OUTLAWS: Blade (NBL), MIB: JEBUSA08 (ESL), LNR/VU: "Diamond" Dave Venom (FLL), and EVOLUTION: Jenna "Sweet Sugar" Adams (KKL). Sly Smith of West Virginia held onto his federation title, too! This time around, it was Æ: Belvedere the Butcher Savage (MWL) who won him the Gold accolade. He had a perfect 501-point total, and so did Domination, who edged out ZOMBI: The Mysterious Benefactor (AFL) for the Diamond Federation strap before trading up to the World Heavyweight Championship. CAST: Six Sigma Black Belt (CFL) saw the Asiatic title slip from his grasp, but his shiny, new $40,000 Bronze Federation championship made a very nice consolation prize. Manager Neal Kendall formulated his 500-pointer. In the Jade Federation, Brady Lowe brought the third federation belt of the cycle home to Missouri by coaching EV2.0: Sandman (WWL) to point flow victory over Æ: Mike Johnson of the WEL (who also missed the title by point flow last cycle), Æ: Hollywood Armstrong (SHL), CAST: Wyld Stooge Larry Logan (PKL), CAST: "Caged Xplosion" Matt Hughes of the JDL (who also missed this belt by point flow last cycle!), DOC: Regulator Rex Mauricio (PAL), and Æ: Awesome Sean MCA (PRL). Each had a 499 total.

 

NATIONAL CHAMPION, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS

COVEN: Champion of the Universe (ASL) proved that he was at least champion of the nation by edging TG: Chief Jay Crossbow (MRL) for the Pacific region, and then defeating our other regional winners by point flow! Mark Spears of Illinois was awarded the choice between an engraved plaque and 25 free matches, since he was the one who came up with the winning 500-point strategy. Picking up the remaining $20,000 purses were...

Atlantic: CTI: Mike Justice (KKL)
Nicholas Hill of Georgia had his other contender for the title, CTI: "British Enforcer" Griffin Spade (FLL), throw the match; both had 500 points
Central: VU/LAWLESS: Midknight (NBL)
owned by Anthony Adams of Illinois; had to edge out MIB: JOHNB08 (ESL), both with 500
Dixie: OUTLAWS: Crush (NBL)
managed by Jennifer McCarthy of New Mexico; had to use point flow against PAIN: Red Rider (APL), EVOLUTION: Ice-Man (KKL), and TG: "Z-Man" Tom Zink (MRL), all with 500
Eastern: CTI: Havoc Type Creature (HSL)
coached to a 499 total by "The League Killer" Alan Handley of North Carolina
Mountain: E$T: The Outlaw Josey Wales (UEL)
armed with a 500-pointer by Zach Gargus from Parts Unknown
Northern: EVOLUTION: Michelle "Butterfly" Workman (KKL)
owned by Jody Workman of Ohio; edged FFOW: "Honky Tonkin'" Ray Blaine Ferris (MRL) and Buddha Parker (ESL), all with 500
Prairie: TNE: One Man Crew (MRL)
under contract to Johnny Stryker; had to edge out Super Nintendo (NDL), both with 500
Southern: "Dirty White Boy" Ben Kenton (MRL)
and LNR/VU: "British Franchise" Cade Garrett (FLL)
Johnny Stryker couldn't decide which he wanted wearing the belt, so he had them share; EVOLUTION: Josh "The Jedi" Kerns (KKL) also had a 500, but lost by point flow
Western: LNR/VU: Kamikaze Kiyoshi Dragon (FLL)
won even more gold for Johnny Stryker; scored 500 points

 

LADIES' TITLES

Colin Morton of New York gave 500-point strategies to three of his VVL grapplers, and watched proudly as Giggles the Clown, Marvelous Maxine, and JoJo the Jester won the Ladies' World Championship, the Ladies' U.S. title, and the Ladies' National honors! He can now decide between an engraved plaque and 15 free matches as a reward for pulling off such a coup. Lee R. Beishline of Pennsylvania also impressed the fans with his VVL wrestler. Hott Heather took the Queen of the Ring title with a 276-point total -- beating her male counterpart! The Ladies' Tag-team champions were wWw: Sunny and Missy Blaze (MDL), who get their orders from Luke Fletcher of the United States Air Force. Sable Blaze joined the team, and the trio won the World Six-woman straps by point flow over ZOMBI stablemates "Sizzling" Cheri Summers, "Beautiful" Becky Hall, and "Heartbreak" Heather Hall (LLL)! Æ: Heather Thomas and Roxxi Rampage (FFL) joined forces and secured the U.S. tag belts for Scott Lowe of Missouri and Michael Drake of New York, respectively. CAST: "Toothless Redneck" Raylene Jewels, "Poor White Trash" Patty Jewels, and "Droppin' Jaws" Magdalen Ginter (LLL) stood their ground and managed to hold onto their U.S. Six-woman titles! All three are managed by Anthony Dudick of New York.

 

WORLD TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS

~TZ~ of Virginia wasn't ready to part with these belts, so he had his SHL team hand them off to ZOMBI: Thunder Lord and Ice Man (CFL), since they had the only 516 team total out of all our league tag-team champions last cycle. His wrestlers won $50,000 apiece, and he won his choice of an engraved plaque or 15 free matches!

 

TOP 10 TAG-TEAMS

1. ZOMBI: Thunder Lord & Ice Man (CFL)
2. EDGE: "Bad Blood" Tre Brown & "El Jefe" Oscar Morales (CSL)
3. CAST: Psychic Buddhist Gorilla & Hot Buttered Aspirin (RCL)
4. CAST: Pretty Boy Billy Thunder & Candyman Brett Lightning (HWL)
5. CTI/NVME: Agent Smith & Hans Gruber (MWL)
6. Æ: Ghostface Billah & Raekwon (ALL)
7. CTI/PAIN: Vampiro Canadiense & CTI/TBZ: Rico Antonia Banana (ECL)
8. CTI: Perfect Patrick Patterson & Stunning Steven Storm (OSL)
9. CAST/666: Grave Dust & Lord of Illusions (JIL)
10. Kunta Kinta Kobayashi & Tatsumi Wasabi (NDL)

 

U.S. TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS

Just like last cycle, ~TZ~ of Virginia had the only league TV tag-team with a perfect 516-point total! This time his winning team was ZOMBI: The Tax Collector and the Landlord (ALL).

 

WORLD SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS

These $50,000 purses had to be split three ways due to an unbreakable draw. Maverick Ninja and Brian Chance gave Jonathan Akers of Texas his third consecutive appearance in this section, while Insult Jock and Johnny Awesome did likewise for John Durrani of Connecticut! Drunken Rocket was the final member of the HWL team which regained the titles after losing them last time. He's managed by Garett Guzman of Nevada. Buddy Gamble rounded out the EDGE stablemates. Kevin Hurley of Canada owns his contract. Sly Smith of West Virginia's RYL crew made sure his stable wasn't left out. The top four teams in the rankings had 521 points.

 

TOP 10 SIX-MAN TEAMS

1. EDGE: Drunken Rocket, Maverick Ninja, Insult Jock (HWL)
EDGE: Youngblood Johnny Awesome, Buddy "Chance" Gamble, Brian Chance (CSL)
Æ: kILL Slayer #1, Suicide King, Bad News Blake (RYL)
4. Æ: The Cannibalistic Caddy, Dorn, Collector of Skulls, the Canadian Axe Murderer (IML)
5. Hot $tuff Adam Ca$h, Fatty the Butcher, Victor Von Snapp (BRL)
6. CTI: Fuji Takayuki, Mr. Money Bags, Mr. Wallstreet (CLL)
7. ZOMBI: "Tony's Consigliere" Silvio Dante, "Hotheaded Nephew" Chrissy Moltisanti, "Hardheaded Uncle" Corrado Soprano (EAL)
8. CTI: "Heartbreaker" Cole Hammels, "Flyin' Hawaiian" Shane Victorino, "The Chosen One" Chase Utley (YLL)
CAST: Masked German Chainsaw, Murder Death Kill, Sick Psychotic Freak (GRL)
10. SW: "The Satanic Bagger" Gusion Johnson, "The Satanic Garbage Man" Ose Maple, "The Satanic Farmer" Sitri Schmidt (SGL)
EDGE: The Vampire Lord Kal Zakath, the Dressed Wombat, Sheik Hassent Ben Sober (DDL)

 

U.S. SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS

Anthony Dudick of New York led his team of CAST: ill Bill, Necro, and Mr. Hyde (NBL) to a perfect score of 521 points. They decided to use their unbeatable strategy to gain these $20,000 titles!

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES

Based on the number of matches, the most active leagues for the Fall cycle are shown below. The New Blood League set a new record last time for the most matches played in a single cycle; this time it raised the bar even higher, beating its previous record by 178 matches and securing the top spot for an eleventh consecutive cycle!

Because the active wrestlers in the Unknown Wrestler League had the best average strategy total, their managers can take two matches for $1 next cycle. Finishing less than a point away from the honor were the active wrestlers in the GRL, MRL, and XPL.

1. NBL (2,659 matches) 467.585
2. GRL (855 matches) 492.832
3. UWL (712 matches) 493.280
4. MRL (698 matches) 492.338
5. XPL (543 matches) 492.333
6. JIL (400 matches) 492.182
7. BOL (391 matches) 491.105
8. HWL (384 matches) 491.755
9. NSL (376 matches) 490.250
10. WWL (372 matches) 491.467

 

TOP 20 STARS

(This list only includes active wrestlers.)

1. CAST: Sinister Steve Stryker (CSL) 63
2. CAST: Diesel Duddick (NSL)
CAST: Nightmare Sam Hell (NDL)
62
4. CAST: Wonderful Wally Brown (GRL) 58
5. CORE: Chris Coldstone (JIL)
CAST: Innovator of Arrogance Keith A. Maple (XPL)
57
7. Æ: Danny S. Spivey (FSL)
CAST/666: Lord of Illusions (JIL)
56
9. Steve "The Sandman" Sands (KKL) 55
10. CAST: "The Big Mofo" Anthony Dudick (CCL)
wWw: Mike White Lightning Moore (BRL)
54
12. UL: Duke Dangerous (ECL)
CAST: "LV's Grimiest" Keith Rosenthal (PKL)
UL: Sammy Solar (OSL)
EDGE: Warchild (HSL)
53
16. EDGE: Black Knight (IML)
CAST/TC: Buda Von Blitzen (MIL)
wWw: Mike White Lightning Moore (QPL)
CAST: Sir Gunther Kinderwacht (NAL)
52
20. CAST/NAA: Medieval Tymes (GRL)
CAST: Wyld Stooge Larry Logan (PKL)
51

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

IRON FEDERATION: Center Stage, Extreme Action, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Iron Man, Jersey City Wrestling, Murder Incorporated, Mysterious Benefactor, Next Generation, Quick Pin, Rising Stars, Wrestling Superstars, Xtreme Poison, Young Lions

STEEL FEDERATION: Absolute Pain, Burial Grounds, Casting Couch, Devil Inside, East Side Wrestling, Fighting Legends, Intense Impact, King Kong, Lost Souls, Mid-Atlantic Region, New Blood, Old School, Praying Mantis, Rebel Yell, Vicious Valkyries, Zeus Power

GOLD FEDERATION: All Star, Battle Royal, Black Ops, Blood Bath, Chicago Legends, Classic Wrestling, Dark Angel, Extraordinary Power, Federated Suns, Masked Wrestling, Mystic Diva, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death, Union Express

DIAMOND FEDERATION: American Bodyslam, American Legion, Armed Forces, Dark Days, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Last Breath, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling

BRONZE FEDERATION: Assassin's Order, Barbaric Warrior, Coffin Filler, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hot Streak, Iron Glove, Main Event, Men of Steel, Old Timer's, Raging Bull, Soul Asylum, Torture Chamber, Unknown Wrestler

JADE FEDERATION: Atomic Age, Born Tough, Iowa Corn, Jade Dragon, Just Incredible, Just Rasslin', Lovely Ladies, Primal Rage, Psychotic Killer, Pure Adrenaline, Smoking Gun, South Central Wrestling, Super Hero, World Wrestling, Wrestlers Elite

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