IWA REPORT
Vol. 15, No. 7 -- May 2010
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HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES

Records, of course, are only made to be broken. But when you are the first to do something, that accomplishment can never be taken away. Thus, it is with a certain sense of history that the IWA welcomes its first undefeated wrestler into the Hall of Fame. N. Vince Hubble (1,001-0, $1,095,300 *3) has retired from the LOL, citing "the boredom of constant success" as his reason. When asked what actual title victories qualified him to be a Hall inductee, Mr. Hubble produced a long roll of paper. "For starters, my partner and I were honored in the Fall 2009 IWA Report for our maximum point tag strategy by being ranked #8 in the IWA. Then..." At this point, Mr. Hubble received a cell phone call and he had to leave. Attempts to contact him later were unsuccessful. (An engraved plaque will be sent to his manager, W.P. Mills of Wisconsin.)

Our next inductee this cycle is "Wrestling Demon" Sex (AFL). His record was 1,007-214-43, with $1,633,600 in imaginary earnings and 25 stars. Although managed for most of his career by Mike Cook of Kentucky, his contract was won by Tim Zaegel of Virginia at the beginning of 2010 in an OSL contest, so that's who will be receiving the plaque!

UKA/BOC: Tony Hurricane is leaving the CWL (and the IWA) for good. With 1,016 wins, 22 stars, and 45 draws under his belt, yet only 204 losses, he is sure to be missed. He will spend his retirement spending, since he saved up $2,228,700 in imaginary money over the course of his career. Congratulations are in order for his manager, Cameron Hinkley of Maine!

Long-time IWA manager Scott K. Olson of Nevada is putting five of his superstars out to pasture this cycle! The BRL was home to both (: Babyface Brad Monroe (1,122-403-87, $4,437,700 *39) and (: Gorgeous Johnny Mack (1,054-429-100, $3,852,800 *33), while the LBL housed PSY: Young Gun Clint Rhodes (1,005-287-59, $2,891,100 *26). PSY: Jim the Butcher Mulholland (1,072-303-69, $2,727,400 *38) maimed friend and foe alike in the MIL, and PSY: Ragh Bagah Ali (1,105-210-73, $2,599,900 *24) wowed fans at SGL events. These wrestlers have left some very large boots to fill, indeed.


A Scandalous Domination, Inc. Event:
The Retirement of Chairwoman Nairobi

Ending a phenomenal career with 1,010 wins, 366 losses, 114 draws, and 28 stars, SDI's chairwoman, Nairobi James-Stone, will now bring her in-ring career to a beautiful end. Nairobi has graced such leagues as the HTL, BTL, BBL, KSL, APL (where she became the first female TV champion), ABL, and ASL, garnering 4 TV titles and 26 regional titles in her travels, but she has now decided to focus on other aspects of Brass Ventures International -- SDI's parent company. Although she will no longer compete in the squared circle, Nairobi will continue to manage the wrestling career of SDI's owner, Jason P. Brass VII.

Nairobi issued the following statement regarding her recent Hall of Fame induction: "I have toiled profusely to acquire the recognition that I have now gleaned, and, alas, my most vivid fantasy has come to fruition. I have finally entered immortality with my accomplishments now being held in the IWA Hall of Fame. Not too shabby for a little black girl from Newark, New Jersey with dreams of someday becoming a household name. I think I've done that. The leap from the 'hood of Newark to the boardroom of SDI was a hellish one, but my first step towards that leap was when I got involved in bodybuilding to earn cash from prizes. I was, however, beauty and body with a brain, which earned me a full-ride scholarship to Princeton, as well as a Master's in Psychology. Why do you think that Scandalous Domination, Inc. has the BEST ring psychology in the business? There's a master behind them! I never gave up on bodybuilding, and JPB7 discovered me at a competition in Trenton. The rest, to quote a hackneyed saying, is history. I have been the face and the chairwoman of SDI for five years now, and I HAVE NEVER MISSED A CYCLE! I have taken it to you men in the IWA better than most of my male counterparts for half a decade, and I can retire knowing that Chairwoman Nairobi was the most dangerous woman to ever step in a wrestling ring! Though we had to hide our marriage because we knew our foes would use it against us, Grayson Stone and I can finally flaunt our love to the world. I will never leave SDI fully, for I owe Mr. Brass a debt of gratitude, so I will continue to manage him for as long as he decides to stay in the ring. Also, I will be spearheading the new women's fitness division of BVI. It's been a fantastic voyage, and I'm proud that you all have taken this ride with me... SDI or DIE!"

(An engraved plaque will soon be on its way to manager Sirree A. Raysor of North Carolina.)

 

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION

CTI/NVME: Damian Quicksilver (ALL) used his perfect 501-pointer to claim our top prize of 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt and 50 free matches for manager Grant Matthews of Canada!

 

U.S. CHAMPION

Two TV champions ended in an unbreakable tie while competing for this $60,000 title! Æ: Bloodshed Bob (DDL) is owned by Michael Drake of New York, and LNR: Marky Mark (BHL) belongs to Scott Lowe from none of your business. Also with a perfect total of 501 points but losing by point flow were CTI/NVME: Titus Storm (ALL) and UL: Sgt. Stan Carlson (ECL).

 

KING OF THE RING

Adding the values of the holds at positions 2, 3, 6, 9, 10, 11, 14, and 15 in the strategy of each battle royal winner helped us find our new king... PSY: Agamemnon (IML)! His manager, Mike Dorsett of New York, can choose either an engraved plaque or 25 free matches as his reward. Dominant Factor Pain (EHL) also scored a 273-point KOTR total (the third straight cycle the title was won by that amount!), but had a lesser overall strategy total. The league battle royals used hold positions 1, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, 12, and 13.

 

AMERICAN CHAMPION

Maurice Plante of Canada crossed the border to help CAST: Assassin Beast Skullash (ASL) defeat PSY: The Fell Knight (ABL) for this $25,000 championship! Each wrestler had 499 points.

Next cycle, the CLL is losing its American status, and the BRL is gaining it!

 

ASIATIC CHAMPION

"Too Dope for VH1" B.C. Empson of Virginia gained 10 free matches for coaching CTI: Bounty Hunter Grit Fargo (ECL) to this title. Grit had a perfect 501-point strategy!

 

HARDCORE CHAMPION

CTI/NVME: Damian Quicksilver (ALL) decided to make the most of his 501 total last cycle, so he edged out PSY: The Shogun Yoshi Toronaga (DDL) for this title and earned an additional 10 free matches for Grant Matthews of Canada!

 

METROPOLITAN CHAMPION

Jacob Elbe of Wisconsin armed his grappler, "Ace" Andre Anderson (UEL), with an imposing 499-point strategy, and his efforts paid off to the tune of 10 free matches. Great job!

 

CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION

This $25,000 purse went home with LOA: "Grandmaster" Wun Hung Lo (EPL), who pulled out a 499-pointer and used it to beat his opponents into submission. His manager, Eric Woods of North Carolina, will receive 10 free matches! When he's not busy winning major titles, the Grandmaster is helping the competition in the Extraordinary Power League reach "Total Enlightenment" with his special finishing move.

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS

The Iron Federation championship was won by CAST: Michael Maddness (EEL), who had to edge out stablemate "Mr. Minnesota" Olaf Gustavson (QPL) before he could take the prize for Michael Eaves of Mississippi. Both wrestlers had 500 points. In the Steel Federation, Nicholas Hill of Georgia pocketed 25 free matches by leading CTI: Tommy Cool (APL) to the top. Maurice Plante of Canada secured the Gold Federation accolade by coaching American Champion CAST: Assassin Beast Skullash (ASL) to point flow victory over Cruiserweight Champion LOA: "Grandmaster" Wun Hung Lo (EPL), Metropolitan Champion "Ace" Andre Anderson (UEL), and CAST: Mike Monopoly (BRL)! Each had a 499 total. The Diamond Federation strap went to Damian Quicksilver after he edged PSY: The Shogun Yoshi Toronaga (DDL), CTI: Bounty Hunter Grit Fargo (ECL), Æ: Nemesis (XWL), and Agent of Freedom (NSL). Damian then used his 501-pointer to claim the World Heavyweight title. Grant Matthews of Canada also brought home the Jade Federation belt! CTI/NVME: John Morrision (WWL) was able to defeat wWw: Gothic (PKL) and CAST: "Caged Xplosion" Quentin Jackson (JDL) because his 499-point strategy had slightly better flow. VU: Jeremy Davies (CFL) earned $40,000 for winning the Bronze Federation championship. His manager, Jonathan Riehle of Washington, won 25 free matches!

 

NATIONAL CHAMPION, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS

Scott Lowe from none of your business won the choice between an engraved plaque and 25 free matches when his wrestler, LNR: Abomination (DDL), edged CTI: Bodacious Bobby Brutal (ECL) for the Atlantic regional honors and then used his 500-pointer to take the National prize! The remaining $20,000 titles went to...

Central: ZOMBI: Dr. Schoals (ECL)
managed by Daniel Petty of Ohio; scored 500 points
Dixie: EMPIRE: Jigsaw (UEL)
owned by Ryan Patrick of Michigan; had to edge out Æ: The Showstopper (XWL), both with 499
Eastern: LNR: Antonio King (BHL)
chalked up another win for Scott Lowe; had a 500
Mountain: Æ: Gravedigger (XWL)
under contract to Anthony Rodriguez of Alabama; used point flow to defeat CTI/PAIN: Rock ROLL (LBL), UL: Terminator Todd Apollo (NSL), and CTI/NVME: Incredible Ian Astbury (ABL)
Northern: Æ: The Widowmaker (XWL)
also owned by Anthony Rodriguez; edged Jay Briscoe (WWL), both with 499
Pacific: CTI: Suicide BOYz: Compton Cowboy Kidd Play (ECL)
managed to 500 points by "Too Dope for VH1" B.C. Empson of Virginia
Prairie: Primetime Punk (CLL)
his contract is owned by Nathan Fann of Tennessee; had a 500 total
Southern: DDT: Kolo (FJL)
managed by Bob Dippy of Pennsylvania; had to edge out CTI: The Outlaw Boot Hill (LBL) and HUNS: Brock Lesnar (ASL), all with 499
Western: The Tennessee Redneck Harley Dangerous (CLL)
Nathan Fann picked up another one; had 499 points

 

LADIES' TITLES

Taking home both the Ladies' World title and the Queen of the Ring crown last cycle was, fittingly, Æ: Queen of the Revolution (FFL)! Her manager, Michael Drake of New York, won his choice of an engraved plaque or 15 free matches for providing her 500-point strategy. He also picked up the Ladies' U.S. tag straps, using Æ: Duchess Dryken and Lethal Vixen (FFL)! Duchess and her stablemate, Dirty Danni (MDL), tried for the Ladies' National belt, but were edged out by CAST: Eco-Goth Annabeth Chase (MDL). She belongs to Randall Reedy of Michigan, who also won the World Tag-team titles, using CAST: Eco-Goths Samantha Manson and Liz Viscious (MDL)! Their team total was 516 points. The Ladies' U.S. championship went to Bodacious Bonnie (FFL). She was managed to point flow victory over CAST: "The Machine Girl" Ami Hyuga (MDL) by Ryan Oskar of Ohio. The World Six-woman champions were SW: Lilith the Satanic Princess, plus Satan's Wives #2 and #3 (LLL). All three are managed by Matt Yunick of New York. The U.S. Six-woman belts went to CAST: Xtreme Xplosion Amy Christine Dumas, Knockout Specialist Rebecca Streets, and Bloody Assault Jessica Lee Richards (LLL). Keith A. Maple of Ohio coached them to victory over Æ: Crazy Caylee, Dirty Danni, and Terrible Tangela (MDL).

 

WORLD TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS

Kevin DiFranco of New York won either an engraved plaque or 15 free matches (his choice) for guiding UL: Cairo Embalmer and Silver Pharaoh (BRL) to these titles! The top seven teams in the standings had 516 points.

 

TOP 10 TAG-TEAMS

1. UL: Cairo Embalmer & Silver Pharaoh (BRL)
2. UL: Punisher Pat & Terminator Todd Apollo (NSL)
3. VU: Ultimate Headcrusher & Dominant Factor War (CFL)
4. Dominant Factors Anarchy & Smoke (EHL)
5. CTI: Mr. Desire & Shadow Warrior (LBL)
6. CAST: Katy Perry & Heavenly Body Heather Nova (ASL)
7. Æ: Nemesis & Gravedigger (XWL)
8. CAST: "Caged Xplosions" Forrest Griffin & Brock Lesnar (JDL)
9. Æ: "Flyin'" Brian Jansen & Lex Stevenson (BBL)
10. PSY: Heavenly Vince Boudreau & Cesar El Califa Dominguez (RCL)

 

U.S. TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS

These $20,000 purses were awarded to UL: The Wiley Crustacean and Gorku the Giant Armadillo (BRL), who are managed by Kevin DiFranco of New York! Also with 516 points but losing by point flow were Æ: Jimmy Harlem Butcher Hart and Harley Fame (NFL), plus Æ: "the Dream" Joey Lance and "the Recruit" Austin Santino (FLL).

 

WORLD SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS

Three teams ended in a tie during the play-offs for these belts. The Highway Patrols allowed Sly Smith of West Virginia to keep his name attached to the titles. Drunken Rocket belongs to Garett Guzman of Kansas, while Maverick Ninja and Brian Chance are owned by Jonathan Akers of Texas. Both Insult Jock and Youngblood Johnny Awesome are managed by John Durrani of Connecticut. Buddy "Chance" Gamble rounded out the list of winners. He's currently under contract to Kevin Hurley of Canada! The top five teams in the rankings had 521 points.

 

TOP 10 SIX-MAN TEAMS

1. Æ: Highway Patrols #1, #2, #3 (PML)
PSY: Drunken Rocket, Maverick Ninja, Insult Jock (HWL)
PSY: Youngblood Johnny Awesome, Buddy "Chance" Gamble, Brian Chance (CSL)
4. UL: Punisher Pat Apollo, Terminator Todd Apollo, Kenny Flood (NSL)
5. PSY: The Ironic Sheik, the Iconic Sheik, the Moronic Sheik (UEL)
6. PSY: Mastermind Marcus, High Roller Vincent, Gladiator Garrett Demani (NAL)
CAST: "Caged Xplosions" Tim Sylvia, Quentin Jackson, Evan Tanner (JDL)
PSY: The Fell Knight, the Dark Knight, the Dread Knight (ABL)
9. UL: Cairo Embalmer, Burning Incense, Silver Pharaoh (BRL)
10. Fab, Ultra, Mega Dazzle (SHL)

 

U.S. SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS

Æ: "Diabolical" Ricky Savage, "Mean" Mike Zenith, and Shayne "the Train" Gloom (MRL), managed by Tim Zaegel of Virginia, made their final contribution to the Arrogant Empire by winning these titles. They had to use point flow against PSY: Shotgun Messiah, King Handsomeness, and Bobcat Valentine (HWL); UL: Killa Michael Raine, Danger Derek Steele, and Nasty Nick Tarnasky (CSL); plus Æ: Mesphisto, Nick Danger, and Dick the Dude Danger (NGL). Each team had a perfect score of 521 points!

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES

The most active leagues for the Spring cycle, going by the number of matches, are listed below. The New Blood League continued to dominate, holding the top spot for the fourth cycle in a row! Managers in the Noble Savage League can choose to take two matches for $1 instead of paying our regular prices next cycle, since their active wrestlers had the highest average strategy total out of all 10 leagues! The DDL, ASL, and RSL weren't far off the pace.

1. NBL (1,327 matches) 486.225
2. GRL (1,021 matches) 488.304
3. UWL (944 matches) 490.107
4. RSL (751 matches) 491.839
5. UEL (717 matches) 481.229
6. XPL (709 matches) 490.209
7. MRL (701 matches) 484.000
8. NSL (563 matches) 494.385
9. ASL (559 matches) 492.333
10. DDL (542 matches) 492.556

 

TOP 20 MONEY HOLDERS

(Only active wrestlers were included on this list.)

1. CAST: Innovator of Arrogance Keith A. Maple (NAL) $14,884,000
2. "Mr. Powerful" Ken Lambeau (PKL) $13,849,400
3. JL6: The Hooded Inmate (IML) $13,609,500
4. wWw: Mike White Lightning Moore (QPL) $13,494,700
5. DFI: American Freedom Fighter E.J. (SHL) $12,181,438
6. UL/TSD: The Survivor (ECL) $11,318,400
7. CAST: King Krusher (EEL) $10,630,600
8. CORE: Johnny Cage (JIL) $10,457,338
9. CAST: Bloody Assault Jessica Lee Richards (LLL) $9,615,000
10. ROW: Special Agent B.M.F. (JIL) $9,475,200
11. wWw: Motorheadbanger Annihilator (JIL) $9,329,400
12. CC: Danny Boy O'Day (NSL) $9,243,700
13. CC: Oliver Shagnasty (NSL) $8,663,100
14. S4C: Willie Wino (NSL) $8,473,800
15. Easy E. Joe Cool (CWL) $8,416,900
16. PAIN: Manitou (AAL) $8,369,800
17. CAST: Diesel Duddick (NSL) $8,362,400
18. PAIN: Cougar - WK (AAL) $7,956,400
19. UL: Johnny "2 Kold" Koolakowski (LOL) $7,912,000
20. CAST: Wyld Stooge Larry Logan (PKL) $7,817,700

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

IRON FEDERATION: Center Stage, Extreme Action, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Iron Man, Jersey City Wrestling, Murder Incorporated, Mysterious Benefactor, Next Generation, Quick Pin, Rising Stars, Slumber-party Massacre, Wrestling Superstars, Xtreme Poison, Young Lions

STEEL FEDERATION: Absolute Pain, Burial Grounds, Casting Couch, Devil Inside, Fighting Legends, Intense Impact, King Kong, Lost Souls, Mid-Atlantic Region, New Blood, Old School, Praying Mantis, Rebel Yell, Vicious Valkyries, Zeus Power

GOLD FEDERATION: All Star, Battle Royal, Black Ops, Blood Bath, Chicago Legends, Classic Wrestling, Dark Angel, Extraordinary Power, Federated Suns, Masked Wrestling, Mystic Diva, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death, Union Express

DIAMOND FEDERATION: American Bodyslam, American Legion, Armed Forces, Bounty Hunter, Dark Days, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Last Breath, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling

BRONZE FEDERATION: Assassin's Order, Barbaric Warrior, Coffin Filler, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hot Streak, Iron Glove, Main Event, Men of Steel, Old Timer's, Raging Bull, Soul Asylum, Torture Chamber, Unknown Wrestler

JADE FEDERATION: Atomic Age, Born Tough, Iowa Corn, Jade Dragon, Just Incredible, Just Rasslin', Killer Soldiers, Lovely Ladies, Primal Rage, Psychotic Killer, Smoking Gun, South Central Wrestling, Super Hero, World Wrestling, Wrestlers Elite

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