IWA REPORT
Vol. 14, No. 9 -- July 2009
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JOHNNY B SAYS

Two corrections need to be made to the Summer 2009 edition of this publication: the rightful World Heavyweight Champion was ACE: Stone Cold Steve Austin (HWL), managed by Bob Dippy of Pennsylvania. His strategy was worth 500 points. Also, the Bronze Federation champion should have been listed as ACE: Pat Patterson's Ring Boy (BWL), who was managed to a 500-pointer by Howie Sandberg of New York. We apologize to any managers affected by these oversights.

 

HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES

After just 36 cycles, Darryl Gunning from Summerside, Prince Edward Island, Canada, retires his second wrestler into the illustrious IWA Hall of Fame, to join GRIM: Ultra. GRIM: Intensity (BBL) battled his way to a record of 1,001-247-59, with $1,508,500 in imaginary earnings and 10 stars. He thanks the Circle of Tyrants stable for having him and his worthy, former GRIM stablemates-turned-opponents Darius Thunder, Kahn Lionheart, Caius Pendragon, and Damon Rude, who will probably be joining Intensity in our Hall shortly -- where he will be waiting.

 

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION

Demolition Hammer, drawn by Cody SchibiThis $300,000 prize ended up in the hands of LEGIT: Demolition Hammer (BOL), a 7'2" wrecking machine who was wielding a perfect 501-point strategy! His manager, "The Loose Cannon" Joseph Cassidy of Scotland, must now decide if he wants 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt and 50 free matches. Nice work, Joseph!

 

U.S. CHAMPION

ILL: The Master of RWS (DAL) won this title for Darrell Brewer of Alabama after using point flow to defeat ACE: Hitman's Wrath (BBL), ILL: Big Daddy Cool Darrell Brewer (XPL), ILL/LPPF/TK: Rogue Warrior (TDL), ROTU: Widowmaker (BOL), ILL: Cole Roberts (BRL), ACE: Bone Crusher (SML), and ACE: Travis T. Spivey (HML), who was entered in the running for this title due to an in-league error. Each TV champion had a 500 total!

 

KING OF THE RING

This engraved plaque or 25 free matches was awarded to Jonathan Akers of Texas for an incredible third cycle in a row! He bet on (: Brian Chance (CSL), who had a perfect 501-point strategy, and after we totaled the values of hold positions 3, 5, 6, 7, 10, 11, 12, and 13 in the strategy of every league battle royal winner, Brian's 274 points earned Jonathan the prize! (We found the league winners using hold positions 1, 2, 3, 4, 8, 9, 14, and 15.)

 

AMERICAN CHAMPION

ACE: "Awesome" Adam Agony of the CLL, which just became an American league last cycle, claimed this $25,000 title for Howie Sandberg of New York, who will receive 10 free matches! Also with 500 points but losing by point flow were RUNXT/LEGIT: The Loose Cannon Joe Cassidy (XPL) and BGK: Donta "Lightning" Bell (ASL).

 

ASIATIC CHAMPION

John Gabriel of Pennsylvania earned 10 free matches by guiding LPPF: Superfly Shawn Superstar (CSL) to this championship! Shawn had a total of 500 points.

 

HARDCORE CHAMPION

Using his 500-pointer to great advantage, ACE: Anthony S. Spivey (TDL) took home this belt and its $25,000 payday. His manager, Anthony Rodriguez of Alabama, will receive 10 free matches!

 

METROPOLITAN CHAMPION

RUNXT/LEGIT: The Loose Cannon Joe Cassidy (XPL) claimed the 10 free matches that accompany this title for his homeland of Scotland.

 

CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION

After his championship match ended with the sound of "The Closing Bell," M2M: The Wall Street Kid (EAL) found himself holding this $25,000 title. His manager, Bret Johnson of Illinois, formulated the winning 499-point strategy, so he gets 10 free matches! Great going, Bret.

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS

Sporting a silver-sequined glove to the ring and daring to wear white socks with black shoes, RUNXT/LEGIT: The Loose Cannon Joe Cassidy (XPL) from Scotland moonwalked his way to the Iron Federation championship, which he then dedicated to the late Michael Jackson! LPPF: Superfly Shawn Superstar (CSL), the Mad Butcher of Kingsbury Run (SML), Magnificent Matthew Siik (MBL), and (: Phil "#2-Eating" McGrinn (IML) all had 500 points, as well, but were edged out. Joe also manages Demolition Hammer, who gladly traded in his Gold Federation belt for the World honors. ILL: Tiffy Amber (RYL) defeated ACE: Mr. Excellent (ZPL) by point flow to win the Steel Federation strap for Gregg Boyle of Maryland. In the Diamond Federation, RWS: Mike Drake (ABL) of New York received 25 free matches after edging out both EDGE: Paul Usul Muad'Dib Atreides (ALL) and ILL/LPPF: Demonic Dude Lucifer Ace (ECL). The Bronze Federation champion was JL6: Felon (RBL), who wrestles under the watchful eye of John Lala from California. (: Mad Joe Black (JDL) brought the Jade prize home to Anthony Dudick, who lives in New York.

 

NATIONAL CHAMPION, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS

Colin M. Denlea of Georgia can choose either an engraved plaque or 25 free matches as his reward for leading TG: Juggernaut (BOL) to victory in the National title play-offs! Juggernaut's journey began in the Atlantic region, where he successfully used his 501-point strategy against King of the Ring (: Brian Chance (CSL), Ogie Ogilthorpe (SML), CCCP: The Neckbreaker Nikita Nikolayev (BRL), and EDGE/CSC: "Mr YLL" Mike Carver (MIL). The rest of the $20,000 purses went home with...

Central: LEGIT: Joe Spinebuster (BOL)
managed by "The Loose Cannon" Joseph Cassidy of Scotland; edged LPPF: Clint Carnage (CSL), X-RAIDED: New Breed Terminator (ASL), TB: The Million Dollar Man Slick Rick (MBL), WWW: Systematic Assassin (BBL), (: Willie Nelson Mandela (TDL), WWW: Nightmare Sam Hell (NDL), J.J. Blaze (UEL), and ACE: Electric Death (NGL), all with 500
Dixie: Method of Destruction (MBL)
owned by the Mysterious Benefactor; had a perfect 501 total
Eastern: ILL: Lex Stevenson (BBL)
Tim Zaegel of Virginia helped him overcome WCGP: "Ride or Die" Ricky Chingas (BOL), WWW: Radical Rick Headstone (CWL), and TB: Creeper (MBL), all with 500
Mountain: (: "Have Mercy" Jesse Katsopolis (BBL)
under contract to Jonathan Akers of Texas; edged both Mr. Beethoven (UEL) and ACE: Master of the Pin (NGL), all with 500
Northern: ILL/LPPF/TK: Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink (TDL)
allowed John Gabriel of Pennsylvania to keep this title in his trophy case; had to use point flow against Jumbo Tsunami (NDL), both with 500
Pacific: ILL: The Hollywood Kid (BBL)
owned by Tim Zaegel; had a 501-pointer
Prairie: Mount Baba (NDL)
representing NEO-Seoul out of Korea; had 500 points
Southern: EDGE: The Xecutioner (MIL)
managed by Chris Silver of Pennsylvania; had to edge out ILL/LPPF/TK: Vader (TDL) and (: "Bad Blood" Tre Brown (CSL), all with 500
Western: Champ Inoki (NDL)
also representing NEO-Seoul out of Korea, and also had a 500 total

 

LADIES' TITLES

Anthony Dudick of New York gained his choice of an engraved plaque or 15 free matches when he led (: "Droppin' Jaws" Magdalen Ginter (LLL) to the Ladies' World Championship over LB: L.A. Mazzaratti (VVL)! He also picked up the U.S. tag straps, using (: Maggie "Thief Catcher" Cheung and Anita "Wonder Woman" Mui (MDL). Not content with the King of the Ring title, Jonathan Akers of Texas went after the Queen's crown, as well, and took it with (: Sexy Shannon Outlaw (VVL)! Losing by point flow were ACE members Nasty Nicole Richie (MDL) and "European Knockout" Nadine Jansen (FFL). The Ladies' U.S. champion was WWW/VU: Elektra Blaze (MDL), who was managed to 500 points by TSgt. Luke Fletcher of the United States Air Force. NGAA: Rydia Stormer and Mara O'Connor (MDL) won Ladies' Tag-team gold for S. Daniel Stunes of Arkansas. Taking the Ladies' National honors with a perfect 501 was ILL: Dominant Factor Lust (MDL). Manager Tim Zaegel of Virginia called in Dominant Factors Beauty and Love, and the trio picked up the World Six-woman belts. Tim also walked away with the U.S. Six-woman titles, thanks to ILL: Dominant Factors Jealousy, Vanity, and Scorn (MDL)!

 

WORLD TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS

"The Smoking Pope" Garett Guzman of Kansas earned either an engraved plaque or 15 free matches by providing (: Uncle Daddy and Dicky Retardo (XPL) with the only 516 team total from last cycle! Previous U.S. tag winners Vitamin R and Unknown Soldier made an impressive third place finish.

 

TOP 10 TAG-TEAMS

1. (: Uncle Daddy & Dicky Retardo (XPL)
2. EDGE: Protovangelian & Vercyntorix (BRL)
3. ACE: Vitamin R & Unknown Soldier (CLL)
ACE: VP of Talent Virgil Riley & Marketing Director Dirk Martin (MPL)
ILL: Y2J Brewer & Shanus Darby (HML)
ILL: Cronus & Hades (ASL)
7. DD: Tommy "The Blade" Baldelli & Vinny "The Viper" Petrillo (DAL)
8. WILDSIDE: Shawn Champion & "Say Uncle" Richard Tater (MRL)
9. WWW: Thundercat & Birdman (CSL)
10. ACE: Bama Brawler & Anthony S. Spivey (TDL)

 

U.S. TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS

These $20,000 prizes were awarded to Kenzaki Suzuki and Hero Hase (NDL), a team representing NEO-Seoul out of Korea! Also with a 516 team total but losing by point flow were RWS/MCM: The Crazy Wolf Jake Ryan and Wild Stallion Ricky Vaughn (SAL), plus ACE: GraveDigger and Nemesis (CSL).

 

WORLD SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS

Jason P. Miller of Texas coached his ILL squad from the TDL to these belts, but had to share the glory with four other teams. Howie Sandberg of New York managed to keep his hands on the belts, this time with two ACE teams -- who were both ranked #9 last cycle! Darrell Brewer of Alabama also retained his shared ownership of the titles, and he also did it with two teams! He owns the ILL members from the ASL and HML (his HML wrestlers were entered in the running for these titles due to an in-league mistake). Each winning team, along with the BOL team in sixth place, had a perfect team score of 521 points.

 

TOP 10 SIX-MAN TEAMS

1. ILL: Pit Viper, Jimmy Riggs, Extreme Evan Riot (TDL)
ACE: Hitman's Wrath, "The Original ACE****" Howie Sandberg, Road Agent Rick Anderson (MPL)
ACE: "High Roller" Hank Richards, "Mr. Cool" Quinn Clarkson, "Pimp Daddy" Paulie Lang (BBL)
ILL: Zeus, Ares, Hercules (ASL)
ILL: Eric Arsett, Short Beard the Pirate, Smelly Beard the Pirate (HML)
6. LEGIT: Joe Spinebuster, Demolition Hammer, MC Levthiun (BOL)
7. ACE: Mr. Greatness, Mr. Perfection, "Too Sexy" Kevin Nash (SGL)
8. LPPF: "The Marquee" Mike Madison, Superfly Shawn Superstar, Near Death Mike Magnum (CSL)
9. (: Omaha Meat, Uncle Daddy, Dicky Retardo (XPL)
10. STARLIGHTROCKERS: Artie Janetty, Jean Michaels, Fred DiBiase (MRL)

 

U.S. SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS

The battle for these belts saw three teams end in an unbreakable draw. Howie Sandberg of New York made his mark with ACE: Vendetta Red, Unknown Soldier, and "Wild One" Willie Agony (CLL). ILL: Self-Righteous Schmuck, Power Hungry Maniac, and Bobby Pin (TDL) won the titles for Jason P. Miller of Texas. ILL: Bloody Beard, Stinky Beard, and Goat Beard the Pirates (HML), who were entered in the running for these belts due to an in-league error, stole the last share of the treasure for Darrell Brewer of Alabama. ILL: Teddy Snow, Agent Matt Secret, and Kenny Snow (NDL) also had a 521 team total, but lost by point flow.

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES

Going by the number of matches, the most active leagues for the Summer cycle are listed below. Perhaps boosted by the "two matches for $1" cycle it won last time, the All Star League returned to the top spot -- and it may stay there awhile, since its active wrestlers again had the best average strategy total out of all 10 leagues! That means ASL managers can choose to take two matches for $1 next cycle instead of paying our regular prices for a second consecutive cycle! Breathing down our oldest league's neck in the race for the special price were the XPL, MRL, and NBL.

1. ASL (1,439 matches) 494.248
2. GRL (1,073 matches) 486.608
3. MRL (1,060 matches) 492.655
4. NAL (998 matches) 487.083
5. UEL (883 matches) 444.479
6. XPL (847 matches) 493.962
7. NBL (830 matches) 491.215
8. BOL (700 matches) 488.349
9. ECL (676 matches) 488.287
10. FLL (673 matches) 481.818

 

TOP 20 MONEY HOLDERS

(This list only includes active wrestlers.)

1. ILL/RUNXT: Innovator of Arrogance Keith A. Maple (XPL) $13,620,200
2. WWW: Mike White Lightning Moore (QPL) $12,842,600
3. "Mr. Powerful" Ken Lambeau (PKL) $12,538,300
4. DFI: American Freedom Fighter E.J. (SHL) $11,742,238
5. JL6: The Hooded Inmate (IML) $11,692,700
6. ACE: The Survivor (ECL) $10,970,700
7. ACE: King Krusher (EEL) $10,394,800
8. EDGE: Johnny Cage (JIL) $10,055,938
9. RENEGADE: Eric "The Cobra" Langdon (MIL) $9,972,200
10. WWW: High Stakes Chris Edwards (CFL) $9,317,200
11. WWW: Motorheadbanger Annihilator (JIL) $8,805,500
12. ROW: Special Agent B.M.F. (JIL) $8,490,600
13. ACE: Hitman Howie Sandberg (NAL) $8,239,100
14. CC: Danny Boy O'Day (NSL) $8,231,100
15. PAIN: Manitou (AAL) $8,088,000
16. CC: Oliver Shagnasty (NSL) $7,725,200
17. PAIN: Cougar - WK (AAL) $7,681,400
18. LPPF: Wyld Stooge Larry Logan (PKL) $7,394,400
19. Easy E. Joe Cool (CWL) $7,371,100
20. S4C: Willie Wino (NSL) $7,343,800

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

IRON FEDERATION: Center Stage, Extreme Action, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Iron Man, Murder Incorporated, Mysterious Benefactor, Next Generation, Quick Pin, Rising Stars, Slumber-party Massacre, Under Fire, Wrestling Superstars, Xtreme Poison

STEEL FEDERATION: Absolute Pain, Caribbean Coast, Devil Inside, Fighting Legends, Intense Impact, King Kong, Lost Souls, Mid-Atlantic Region, New Blood, Old School, Praying Mantis, Rebel Yell, Vicious Valkyries, Zeus Power

GOLD FEDERATION: All Star, Battle Royal, Black Ops, Blood Bath, Chicago Legends, Classic Wrestling, Dark Angel, Federated Suns, Hit Man, Majestic Property, Masked Wrestling, Mystic Diva, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death, Union Express

DIAMOND FEDERATION: American Bodyslam, American Legion, Armed Forces, Bounty Hunter, Dark Days, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Last Breath, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling

BRONZE FEDERATION: Barbaric Warrior, Coffin Filler, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hot Streak, Iron Glove, Jersey City Wrestling, Main Event, Men of Steel, Old Timer's, Raging Bull, Soul Asylum, Torture Chamber, War Cry

JADE FEDERATION: Atomic Age, Iron Cross, Jade Dragon, Just Incredible, Just Rasslin', Killer Soldiers, Lovely Ladies, Psychotic Killer, Smoking Gun, Super Hero, Thor's Hammer, World Wrestling, Wrestlers Elite

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