IWA REPORT
Vol. 14, No. 2 -- February 2009
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JOHNNY B SAYS

Beginning with your current bulletin, if two or more wrestlers defeat the same champion by the same point spread, point flow will determine which wrestler receives the title. Their strategy totals from the previous cycle will be compared if there is still a tie, and if even that is not enough, our computer will randomly choose one of those who tied as the new champion.

Similarly, if two or more teams defeat the same tag-team or six-man champions by the same point spread, team point flow will be used to decide which team receives the titles. The individual point flow of each team member will be used to break any ties, and the combined team total of each team member's previous strategies will be compared beyond that, if needed (in a six-man match, that total could be as high as 501 times three, or 1,503). Team members' individual strategy totals from the previous cycle will be used if there is still an unbreakable tie. As a last resort, our computer will choose one of the winning teams randomly.

This enhancement to our gameplay system should ensure that titles are awarded to the most deserving wrestler or team. It is yet another improvement which was suggested by a manager and was later incorporated into our game, and it just goes to show that you shouldn't be afraid to share your ideas with us -- we do read them, and we do use them! We value the opinions of all our players, so let us hear yours!

 

HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES

Our reigning Last Man Standing specialty champion, RWS: Cybernetrix of the APL, is retiring. He built up an impressive record of 1,006-111-67 during his time in the ring, with $2,157,800 in imaginary earnings and 15 cycles of 495 or better. His manager, Nicholas Hill of Georgia, will receive an engraved plaque as a token of our esteem.

In related APL news, Austin Swarts from Illinois is announcing the retirement of two greats from the IWA wars, Midnight Shooter (1,844-333-74, $4,051,100 *14) and Morning Shooter (1,871-378-68, $4,398,500 *12). The Shooters began their IWA journeys in the EAL for their first year, then moved to the APL for the remaining two years. They were an incredible tag-team that took on all competitors throughout their career, and they did it all on their own terms -- including never joining a single stable. Some of the Shooters' amazing accomplishments include a Steel Division championship, eight league titles, 19 league tag-team belts, 14 league six-man straps, four TV championships, 41 regionals, four special commissioner titles, two IWA Specialty titles with four second place finishes, eight State Wrestling titles, and an Imagimania accolade. All of this was done by two independent wrestlers! The Shooters were involved in some truly classic feuds with the likes of UZI, ACE, PAIN, LAW, and especially the RWS stable. They considered their greatest opponent to be Cybernetrix from the APL (we told you it was related). The Shooters would like to thank all of their opponents and partners over the years for some absolutely great action and a truly fun time!

 

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION

Armas Archuleta, drawn by Cody SchibiWith a 500-point strategy, Armas Archuleta of the MRL outflowed Blocko the Insane Clown and Bloodsimple to win his second IWA World title! (He previously won it in the August cycle of last year.) The Mexican legend has been a fan to not only the people of his homeland, but also the entire Mid-Atlantic Region and now, the entire world! We congratulate his manager, Steve Bradshaw of Florida, on this amazing accomplishment, and on leading such an honorable legend into the IWA's history books. Mr. Archuleta, you are an inspiration to us all!

 

U.S. CHAMPION

ILL: European Big Game Hunter (JRL) edged out both ACE: "Pimp Daddy" Paulie Rich (OSL) and stablemate Dr. Venom (SHL) in the battle for this $60,000 purse. His manager, Johnathan Bridgeman of Arkansas, can choose either an engraved plaque or 25 free matches as his prize! All three wrestlers had 499 points.

 

KING OF THE RING

A different Zach (Gargus, from Parts Unknown) took this title's engraved plaque or 25 free matches this cycle! He coached E$T: Invader I (CCL) to the top of his league battle royal, then to an unbeatable 278-point total when adding the values of hold positions 2, 5, 6, 7, 9, 11, 12, and 14 in each battle royal winner's strategy. Those winners were determined using hold positions 1, 3, 4, 6, 8, 10, 13, and 15.

 

AMERICAN CHAMPION

DA: Blocko the Insane Clown (ABL) added $25,000 to his imaginary bank account by winning this title out of our American leagues. Ten free matches go to his deserving manager, Nathan Fann of Tennessee, who devised his wrestler's 500-point strategy!

 

ASIATIC CHAMPION

The $25,000 prize for being deemed best of all our Asiatic league champions went to ILL: Achilles (PML)! His manager, Jason P. Miller of Kansas, will receive 10 free matches. Achilles had a strategy worth 499 points.

 

HARDCORE CHAMPION

LPPF: Bloodsimple (RYL) only missed winning the Steel Federation and World titles by mere point flow, and when it came time to dethrone the previous Hardcore champion, he didn't hold back. His manager, Anthony Dudick of New York, earned 10 free matches for supplying his 500-pointer!

 

CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION

Manager Michael Drake of New York coached RWS: C.M. Punk (NBL) to this title, and picked up 10 free matches in the process!

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS

Zach Gargus of Parts Unknown took home the Iron Federation title, thanks to E$T: Rule Changer #23 (WSL). In the Steel Federation, Armas Archuleta edged LPPF: Bloodsimple (RYL) before claiming the World Heavyweight Championship. Both wrestlers had a 500 total. The Gold honors had to be shared between ACE: Marketing Director Dirk Martin (MPL) and ACE: "Fully Loaded" Lance Agony (CLL). Howie Sandberg of New York gave them each 499 points! Winning the Diamond Federation's 25 free matches was American Champion DA: Blocko the Insane Clown (ABL). Manager Nathan Fann of Tennessee armed him with a 500-point strategy. Jonathan Riehle of Washington state picked up the Bronze accolades with the aid of VU/WWW: Jason Riehle (CFL). ILL: Viper (SHL) used point flow to defeat PAIN: Godfather Frank Damage (AAL), LPPF: "The Superfly Pimp" Tyrell Styles (ICL), and EDGE: Chris Coldstone (JIL) in his quest for the Jade Federation. His manager, Chad LaBombard of Michigan, provided his 499-pointer.

 

NATIONAL CHAMPION, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS

Gregg Boyle of Maryland won an incredible six out of 10 IWA-wide regional titles last cycle using weapons from his ILL arsenal! Taking the National title was Amarie (RYL), who charged out of the Atlantic region with a perfect 501. The CCL is home to Dave (who claimed the Northern region with a 499), David (who tackled the Pacific title with a 500-pointer), Dean (who stole the show in the Prairie region), and the Fallen Soldier (who picked up some Southern comfort with his 500 total). Gregg also won the Western title by leading Christina Alley (RYL) to point flow victory over RWS: Mike Gold (NAL). Both had 500 points. The few regions Gregg was willing to share with the class were taken by...

Central: LPPF: Razorblade Handgrenade (ASL)
managed by Anthony Dudick of New York; had a 499
Dixie: RWS/DD: Andre Linoge (ABL)
coached to 500 points by Michael Drake, also of New York
Eastern: RWS: Mike Vendetta (DDL)
also coached to a 500 total by Michael Drake
Mountain: ILL: Darrell Time (OSL)
edged out stablemate Zeus (PPL), who also had 500 points and is also managed by Darrell Brewer of Alabama

 

LADIES' TITLES

Veteran IWA manager Frank Snow of North Carolina led LB: L.A. Mazzaratti (VVL) to the Ladies' World title! Her 499-pointer earned him the choice between an engraved plaque and 15 free matches. Frank's LB: Lotus the Ninja Girl (VVL) took home the Ladies' U.S. strap and its $20,000 payday. She also had 499 points, as did Ladies' National Champion LB: Kimona (VVL). Frank teamed her with Lotus, and they successfully traded in their U.S. Tag-team belts for the Ladies' World tag honors! (Their team total was 516 points.) L.A. Mazzaratti joined them, but just as the brigade members were about to trade in their U.S. Six-woman straps for the World Six-woman titles, they were stopped by CTI: Powerpuff Girls Buttercup, Blossom, and Bubbles (LLL), who are managed by Darrell Brewer of Alabama. What a ride! LPPF: "Droppin' Jaws" Magdalen Ginter (LLL) nabbed the Queen of the Ring accolade for Anthony Dudick of New York. The Ladies' U.S. tag straps went to Gregg Boyle of Maryland's LPPF: Christina Alley and RWS: Miss Kitty (VVL), who belongs to Bill Bagwell of Washington state. Miss Kitty nearly shared in the U.S. Six-woman glory by teaming with EDGE: Purple Bunny and CTI: Missy the Vampire, but they were finally defeated by VU: Sweet Suzie Tender, Adorable Alexis Marie, and Princess Cilla Bella (MDL), who are managed by Nelson Carvalho of Massachusetts.

 

WORLD TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS

Bob Dippy of Pennsylvania gets to decide if he wants an engraved plaque or 15 free matches, since he managed ACE: Shutdown Samuel and Hardcore Dawkins all the way from the LSL tag straps to these $50,000 titles! The top four pairs in the standings had 516 points.

 

TOP 10 TAG-TEAMS

1. ACE: Shutdown Samuel & Hardcore Dawkins (LSL)
2. TV: Canadian Devastators #1 & #2 (ASL)
3. LPPF: Xtreme Henchman & Medieval Tymes (GRL)
4. MCM: Babyface Ian Matthews & Spoiled Brat Quinn Patrick (MBL)
5. nWo: Candyman & GhouL's (KKL)
6. ROA: Luscious Cheyenne & Dark Angel (TCL)
7. UKA: The Disciples of Pain & Fear (CSL)
8. Oshou Onita & the Great Mudo (MRL)
9. ACE: Twin Terrors Rod & Todd Flanders (PML)
10. EB: Zbornak & Zarflax (IGL)

 

U.S. TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS

Howie Sandberg of New York kept a firm grasp on these $20,000 titles, this time using ACE: "Mr. Cool" Quinn Clarkson and "High Roller" Hank Richards (OSL) to win them! They had to use point flow against ILL: The Soultaker and Inferno (WCL), as both teams had a 516 total.

 

WORLD SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS

Seven teams had to share these belts last cycle. VNV: Neal "The Jazz Man" Sax, Captain Blue, and "Darling" Dean Willis (HSL) retained the titles for Brian B. of New Hampshire! Darrell Brewer of Alabama also kept his hat in the ring, this time using Zeus, Ares, and Hercules of the ASL. Grant Matthews of Canada threw his ILL/NVME team in the mix, while Gregg Boyle of Maryland brought two ILL wrecking crews to the party! The EDGE trio from the NBL belong to Scott K. Olson of Nevada, and the final team is owned by James E. Corvette, who manages them from the offices of the MRL. The top 10 teams listed had 521 points, and so did PAIN: Lakota Warriors Bearheart and Chief Sitting Bull, plus Jack Daniels (AAL); ILL: Any Random Name, Some Dude, and That One Guy (WCL); LPPF: Speed Pinners Allen and Brian Quick, plus Wavel Starblanket (ZPL); EDGE: Black Knight, Agamemnon, and the Illustrious Ishtar (IML); ILL: Co-Jack, Spark Plug, and Uncle Bone Face (DIL); ILL: Alexis Soppy, Rachel Marie, and Christina Alley (RYL); plus ILL: Tyson, Kenny Reed, and Kenny Bates (NFL). Outstanding!

 

TOP 10 SIX-MAN TEAMS

1. VNV: Neal "The Jazz Man" Sax, Captain Blue, "Darling" Dean Willis (HSL)
ILL: Zeus, Ares, Hercules (ASL)
ILL/NVME: Mr. Perfect, Triple H, Simply Ravishing Rick Rude (WWL)
ILL: Randy, Mullet Man, the NAL Destroyer (THL)
ILL: Nick Kearns, BiG MarK, Ray-Ray (PKL)
EDGE: The Sureshot, the American Dream, Sensei (NBL)
Col. St. Eaves, Flagbearer Johnny Spade, Jeep Swensens (MRL)
8. EB: Zbornak, Zarflax, Jake Jetson (IGL)
9. ILL/RAW: Crazy Football, Crazy Flag, Crazy Energy Drink for a Head Guys (SAL)
10. ACE: Devil Inside, "Big Goal" Brian Gionta, "Playmaker" Patrik Elias (KKL)

 

U.S. SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS

These $20,000 titles had to be shared evenly between ILL: Self-Righteous Schmuck, Your God, and Power Hungry Maniac (WCL), who are managed by Jason P. Miller of Kansas, and ACE: The Lovely Sheep, Stavros Milos, and Doctor...Doug Ross (AAL), who belong to Howie Sandberg of New York. Also with a perfect 521 total, but losing by point flow, was the team of ILL/NVME: Maru, Tawhaki, and "The Ringmaster" Richard Sullivan (MRL).

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES

The most active leagues for the January cycle, based on the number of matches, appear below. The All Star League vaulted into first, pushing the MRL down a notch! Ever ready to counter, managers in the Mid-Atlantic Region League won the right to take two matches for $1 next cycle by having the highest average strategy total among their active wrestlers! The JIL finished slightly more than half a point away, and it was followed closely by the ASL and NAL.

1. ASL (1,030 matches) 489.690
2. MRL (934 matches) 490.736
3. SGL (924 matches) 464.383
4. GRL (851 matches) 485.990
5. ZPL (771 matches) 487.729
6. XPL (715 matches) 488.483
7. JIL (626 matches) 490.215
8. NAL (617 matches) 489.241
9. FSL (616 matches) 470.679
10. MBL (607 matches) 488.236

 

TOP 20 VICTORIES

(This list only includes active wrestlers.)

1. "Mr. Powerful" Ken Lambeau (PKL) 9,320-1,081-202
2. RENEGADE: Eric "The Cobra" Langdon (MIL) 5,183-1,391-198
3. Johnny "2 Kold" Koolakowski (LOL) 5,148-159-36
4. WWW: Mike White Lightning Moore (QPL) 4,909-1,460-267
5. JL6: The Hooded Inmate (RBL) 4,658-938-181
6. PAIN: Dragon Tzu (AAL) 4,216-1,796-341
7. PAIN: Manitou (AAL) 4,171-1,758-324
8. PAIN: Cougar - WK (AAL) 4,020-1,797-343
9. LPPF: Innovator of Arrogance Keith A. Maple (XPL) 3,856-158-77
10. ACE: The Survivor (ECL) 3,822-875-203
11. ROW: Special Agent B.M.F. (JIL) 3,727-1,044-257
12. King Cobra (KKL) 3,633-382-54
13. Easy E. Joe Cool (CWL) 3,600-647-124
14. E$T: The Franchise Zach Gargus (WSL) 3,550-480-75
15. WWW: Sir Gunther Kinderwacht (NAL) 3,545-408-117
16. TNT: Cpl. Punishment (LBL) 3,453-251-58
17. DFI: American Freedom Fighter E.J. (SHL) 3,366-670-193
18. RWS: Mike Drake (ABL) 3,294-373-126
19. Dimitrios the Traveler (ABL) 3,189-442-175
20. "The Ugandan Goddess" Kamalana (VVL) 3,160-281-53

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

IRON FEDERATION: Center Stage, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Iron Man, Murder Incorporated, Mysterious Benefactor, Next Generation, Quick Pin, Rising Stars, Slumber-party Massacre, Under Fire, Wrestling Superstars, Xtreme Poison

STEEL FEDERATION: Absolute Pain, Caribbean Coast, Devil Inside, Intense Impact, King Kong, Lost Souls, Mid-Atlantic Region, New Blood, Old School, Praying Mantis, Pressure Packed, Rebel Yell, Vicious Valkyries, Zeus Power

GOLD FEDERATION: All Star, Battle Royal, Blood Bath, Chicago Legends, Classic Wrestling, Dark Angel, Federated Suns, Hit Man, Majestic Property, Masked Wrestling, Mystic Diva, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death

DIAMOND FEDERATION: American Bodyslam, American Legion, Armed Forces, Bounty Hunter, Dark Days, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Last Breath, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling

BRONZE FEDERATION: Barbaric Warrior, Coffin Filler, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hot Streak, Iron Glove, Jersey City Wrestling, Main Event, Men of Steel, Old Timer's, Raging Bull, Soul Asylum, Torture Chamber, War Cry

JADE FEDERATION: Atomic Age, Iron Cross, Jade Dragon, Just Incredible, Just Rasslin', Killer Soldiers, Lovely Ladies, Psychotic Killer, Smoking Gun, Super Hero, Thor's Hammer, Unknown Wrestler, World Wrestling, Wrestlers Elite

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