IWA REPORT
Vol. 14, No. 1 -- January 2009
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HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES

Jason Clark of Minnesota has decided to retire RWS: "Sexy Beast" Brian Eden (RCL). This superstar's record of 1,341-194-52 speaks for itself, and he also boasted $2,764,300 in imaginary money. Brian ends his time in the ring as the reigning IWA Scaffold Specialty Champion -- a title he has held for the last two years! Jason will receive an engraved plaque to commemorate this bittersweet occasion.

Also retiring this cycle is CULT: Bob Trailer of KKL fame. Since entering the squared circle in September of 2004, he has amassed a record of 1,018-276-26, with an enviable $1,642,200 in earnings. Opponents need no longer fear his patented "White Trash O'matic," but the fans will surely miss seeing it in action. We will be sending an engraved plaque to Bob's manager, Brandon Roth of Illinois, as a reward for leading his wrestler to greatness.

 

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION

ACE: Soric (RYL) thundered out of the Steel Federation with a perfect 501-pointer to win the game's highest honor! His manager, Tony Robinson of Florida, can now decide if he wants 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt and 50 free matches.

 

U.S. CHAMPION

Tony Robinson of Florida led ACE: Zuer (RYL) from his league's TV title to this coveted $60,000 belt! He wins an engraved plaque or 25 free matches for helping his wrestler defeat ILL: Cartman (LOL) by point flow.

 

KING OF THE RING

Finding the sum of the values of hold positions 3, 6, 7, 8, 9, 13, 14, and 15 in every league battle royal winner's strategy showed that Sir Chancelot (MPL), managed by Zach Harper of Illinois, was worthy of becoming King! Zach will receive his choice of an engraved plaque or 25 free matches since he led the ring knight to a 273-point KOTR total. Hold positions 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 10, 11, and 12 were used to determine the league battle royals.

 

AMERICAN CHAMPION

Defeating the champions of our other American leagues was LPPF: Extreme Street Hustle Tim A. Maple (XPL)! Manager Keith A. Maple of Ohio gets 10 free matches to use in the league of his choice.

 

ASIATIC CHAMPION

Bob Dippy of Pennsylvania earned 10 free matches by coaching ACE: Twin Terror Todd Flanders (PML) to this title by point flow over the Gross Grinch (JDL)! His wrestler received $25,000 in imaginary money.

 

HARDCORE CHAMPION

Along with the World Heavyweight title, ACE: Soric (RYL) used his 501 total to pick up this belt and its $25,000 prize. His manager, Tony Robinson of Florida, wins an additional 10 free matches!

 

CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION

RWS: Tony "Scarface" Montana (RSL) was top dog in our Cruiserweight division last cycle! He was awarded $25,000 for this impressive feat, and his manager, David Mims III of North Carolina, wins 10 free matches! Unlucky opponents are introduced to Tony's finisher, which he calls "My Friend 'Lucy.'"

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS

The Iron Federation champion was BH: Darius Savage (MIL), who had a strategy worth 499 points. He wins $40,000 in imaginary earnings, and 25 free matches go to his manager, William C. Barrett of West Virginia! Reigning World Heavyweight (and Hardcore) Champion Soric began his journey with a victory in the Steel Federation. His manager, Tony Robinson of Florida, also secured the Jade Federation strap for his stable with ACE: Bas Robinson (KSL)! He had a 499 total. In the Gold Federation, LPPF: Jammin' James Andrews (CWL) took home the prize for "StableKing" Eric Sickler of Virginia. ILL: Kyle (LOL) won the Diamond Federation honors for manager Darrell Brewer of Alabama, who supplied his 499-point strategy. Claiming the Bronze Federation accolade was AD: Prince of Pinfalls Peter Princeton (CFL). He's managed by W.P. Mills of Wisconsin!

 

NATIONAL CHAMPION, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS

After taking the Pacific region with his 499-pointer, Jammin' James Jones (HWL) tackled the National Championship and ended up winning the engraved plaque or 25 free matches for his manager, "PONTEOTY" from Death Valley! The remaining regional titles went to...

Atlantic: WWW: KickA (MBL)
managed by J. Hook of California; edged Gorgeous George Bush (HWL), both with 499
Central: ILL: Sil Satriale (NGL)
under contract to Chad LaBombard of Michigan
Dixie: BH: Gabriel Knight (MIL)
coached to 499 points by William C. Barrett of West Virginia
Eastern: RAW: Cypher (XPL)
owned by Joseph Schaffer of New York; had a 499 total
Mountain: EDGE: Dark Angel #2 (RYL)
kept the title in Scott K. Olson of Nevada's possession
Northern: LPPF: Legendary Spoiler #9 (HWL)
managed by Keith A. Maple of Ohio
Prairie: SW: Iceberg Slim (XPL)
Joseph Schaffer also armed him with a 499-pointer
Southern: ILL: Brandon Alexander (QPL)
owned by Rob Bream of Pennsylvania; had to edge out FDC: Handsome "Extra Handsome" Handsome (XPL)
Western: LPPF: Jack of All Trades Billy D. Frazier (MBL)
chalked up another win for Keith A. Maple

 

LADIES' TITLES

ILL: Brenda "Bring Da" Payne (VVL) won the Ladies' World Championship from her sister Anita, and manager "The Smooth One" Jeff Manning of Ohio seemed perfectly fine with it. Perhaps the choice of a second straight engraved plaque or 15 free matches had something to do with it. "The Smooth One" also took home the Ladies' U.S. strap for the third cycle in a row! This time around he used ILL: Aunt Flo (VVL) to do it. Since there were no hard feelings, Anita "Lotta" Payne joined her stablemates and together they won the World Six-woman titles! The Queen of the Ring crown was won with the same 273-point total (using eight holds) as the King's crown. The winner was ACE: Sensational Stacy Whiskey (MDL), who is managed by Michael Eaves of Mississippi. Eric Lindsay of Pennsylvania led ACE: Danni Ashe (FFL) to the Ladies' National Championship over both Raesta "Fire Scorpion" Guerrera (VVL) and RWS: Miss Kitty (VVL), then teamed her with his Aneta "The Brabuster" Buena and took home the Ladies' tag straps! Not one to be outdone, Frank Snow of North Carolina claimed the U.S. Tag-team titles with LB: Kimona and Lotus the Ninja Girl (VVL), then added L.A. Mazzaratti to the mix and won the U.S. Six-woman belts!

 

WORLD TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS

ILL: Touchdown Tom Brady and Pit Viper (NFL) had the only 516-point team strategy total out of all our league tag-team champions last cycle, so their manager, Jason P. Miller of Kansas, wins the choice of an engraved plaque or 15 free matches!

 

TOP 10 TAG-TEAMS

1. ILL: Touchdown Tom Brady & Pit Viper (NFL)
2. NGAA: Dionysus & Aesculapius (NGL)
3. ILL: Brewer Time & I Am Brewer (IML)
4. ILL: Hell Hounds #1 & #2 (UFL)
LPPF: Punch Ya Face & Kick Ya Teeth In (QPL)
LPPF: Legendary Spoilers #1 & #2 (HWL)
7. ACE: "Mo Money" Marty & "Mo Problems" Lance Green (MBL)
8. HMW: Iceman & Dark Angel (WSL)
9. ACE: Dismantled & Dominating Warriors (LSL)
10. LPPF: Infamous Masked Men #4 & #5 (NDL)

 

U.S. TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS

Splitting these $20,000 purses due to an unbreakable draw were ILL/RAW: Big Daddy Cool Darrell Brewer and Hunter (XPL), managed by Darrell Brewer of Alabama, plus ACE: "Don't Hate the Playa" Pete and "Big Daddy" Brandon Pennington (WSL), who are owned by Howie Sandberg of New York. The team of ILL: Blackest Hell and Spirit-N-Black (MBL) lost by point flow.

 

WORLD SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS

The battle for these titles ended in a three-way unbreakable tie! The ILL team from the XWL is managed by Jason P. Miller of Kansas, while the ILL stable members from the MBL belong to Darrell Brewer of Alabama. Brian B. of New Hampshire manages the VNV trio. The top five teams listed had 521 points. Special recognition goes to the Handsomes, who remained on the list from last time!

 

TOP 10 SIX-MAN TEAMS

1. ILL: Rusty Cuyler, Early Cuyler, Dan Halen (XWL)
ILL: Darrell the King Brewer, Darell the Ex CEO Brewer, the Destroyer of Rome (MBL)
VNV: Neal "The Jazz Man" Sax, Captain Blue, "Darling" Dean Willis (HSL)
4. ACE: Headstone, Dismantled Warrior, Dominating Warrior (LSL)
5. ACE: "The Stud" Dirk Sanders, "Rugged" Randy Sanders, "Time Bomb" Billy Magnum (WSL)
6. EDGE: Trailer Park Boys J-Rock, Trevor, Cory (LOL)
EDGE: The Vampire Lord Kal Zakath, the Dressed Wombat, Sheik Hassent Ben Sober (DDL)
8. FDC: Handsome "Extra Handsome," "Super Handsome" J., "Big Handsome" Dick Handsome (XPL)
9. BH: "Marvelous" Matt Evans, Darius Savage, Gabriel Knight (MIL)
10. LPPF: Mad Joe Black, LPPF/FURYOFFIVE: James Ismean, Chico Violencia (SML)

 

U.S. SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS

Darrell Brewer of Alabama coached ILL/RAW: The Game, the Cerebral Assassin, and Triple H (XPL) to these titles, which are worth $20,000 in imaginary earnings! They had to defeat LPPF: Jumpin' Jim Beam, Joltin' Johnny Walker, and Jammin' Jack Daniels (QPL) by point flow.

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES

Going by the number of matches in each, the most active leagues for the Holidays cycle are shown below. The Mid-Atlantic Region League held onto the top spot. Managers in the Mysterious Benefactor League can take two matches for $1 next cycle because their active wrestlers had the best average strategy total out of all ten! The MRL, JIL, and XPL rounded out the top four.

1. MRL (1,140 matches) 491.469
2. GRL (984 matches) 487.960
3. ASL (916 matches) 488.981
4. NAL (746 matches) 489.714
5. XPL (707 matches) 490.350
6. FSL (579 matches) 466.542
7. SGL (535 matches) 452.628
8. JIL (524 matches) 491.355
9. MBL (502 matches) 492.827
10. NBL (492 matches) 468.568

 

TOP 20 STARS

(Only active wrestlers were included on this list.)

1. WWW: Sinister Steve Stryker (CSL) 55
2. LPPF: Innovator of Arrogance Keith A. Maple (XPL) 49
3. EDGE: Chris Coldstone (JIL) 47
4. WWW: Buda Von Blitzen (MIL)
WWW: Mike White Lightning Moore (ECL)
WWW: Nightmare Sam Hell (NDL)
46
7. Outlaw Tony Taylor (NFL) 45
8. ACE: Danni Ashe (FFL)
ACE: New Breed Destroyer (ASL)
COT: Duke Dangerous (ECL)
WWW: Lord of Illusions (JIL)
44
12. LPPF: Diesel Duddick (NSL) 43
13. Loverboy Louie Lopez (NFL)
EDGE: Hooded Nightmare (OTL)
EDGE: Johnny Cage (JIL)
WWW: Wonderful Wally Brown (IGL)
42
17. ACE: Road Warrior Beast (SHL)
COT: Morbid Terror (ECL)
COT: Sammy Solar (DIL)
EDGE: The Illustrious Ishtar (JDL)
EDGE: Ollis Rage (JDL)
LPPF: "Sin City Bad Boy" Brandon Rosenthal (NSL)
WWW: Masked Stormtrooper Lightning (BBL)
41

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

IRON FEDERATION: Center Stage, Empire Wrestling, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Iron Man, Murder Incorporated, Mysterious Benefactor, Next Generation, Quick Pin, Rising Stars, Slumber-party Massacre, Under Fire, Wrestling Superstars, Xtreme Poison

STEEL FEDERATION: Absolute Pain, Caribbean Coast, Devil Inside, Intense Impact, King Kong, Lost Souls, Mid-Atlantic Region, New Blood, Old School, Praying Mantis, Pressure Packed, Rebel Yell, Vicious Valkyries, Zeus Power

GOLD FEDERATION: All Star, Battle Royal, Blood Bath, Chicago Legends, Classic Wrestling, Dark Angel, Easy Rider, Federated Suns, Hit Man, Majestic Property, Masked Wrestling, Mystic Diva, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death

DIAMOND FEDERATION: American Bodyslam, American Legion, Armed Forces, Bounty Hunter, Dark Days, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Last Breath, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling

BRONZE FEDERATION: Barbaric Warrior, Coffin Filler, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hot Streak, Iron Glove, Jersey City Wrestling, Main Event, Men of Steel, Old Timer's, Raging Bull, Soul Asylum, Torture Chamber, War Cry

JADE FEDERATION: Atomic Age, Iron Cross, Jade Dragon, Just Incredible, Just Rasslin', Killer Soldiers, Lovely Ladies, Psychotic Killer, Smoking Gun, Super Hero, Thor's Hammer, Unknown Wrestler, World Wrestling, Wrestlers Elite

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