IWA REPORT
Vol. 13, No. 17 -- December 2008
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STABLECADE 2008

A total of 454 wrestlers signed up for this year's contest. Taking the grand prize by six-tenths of a point was the Alliance of Championship Excellence! After determining the top five strategy totals in each stable that competed, ACE wound up with the highest average.

We now present those who fought on behalf of their group and emerged victorious. Each of these wrestlers received $100,000 in imaginary earnings, and all members of the ACE stable have earned bragging rights for a full year!

  • Howie Sandberg of New York
    GRL: The New Jersey Devil
    JIL: Glitz
    MBL: "Mo Money" Marty Green
    NAL: Awesome Force, Hitman Howie Sandberg

  • Michael Eaves of Mississippi
    LBL: Celtic Tiger, Mississippi Marauder, the Violator Michael Eaves

  • Bob Dippy of Pennsylvania
    CSL: "Russian Revolution" S.V. Zhitnik, "The Irish Carbomb" Patrick McPatrick
    ECL: Agent Omni, the Mayor
    HWL: Omega Red, Stone Cold Steve Austin, the Undertaker
    JIL: Bonafide Joe Chicago, Millionaire Houston Jones, Vegas Grinder A.J. Hopkins
    KSL: Gamblin' Gary Damage, Malicious Mike Damage
    LSL: Hardcore Dawkins, Pro Bowl Brown, Super Five, Weapon X Westbrook
    NAL: "Blitzkrieg" Jack Diamond, "Mr. Dribble" Ace Diamond, "Riverboat Hustler" Deuce Diamond, "The Insider Icon" King Diamond, Don Everest, Teddy KGB

  • The Mysterious Benefactor
    MBL: Big Money Graeme Stembridge, Magnificent Matthew Siik, Method of Destruction, the Mysterious Benefactor

How did your group do? The stables listed below are ranked by the average strategy total of the five best members in each:

497.6 ACE
497 LPPF, WWW
496 RWS
495 FDC
494.8 LB
493.4 MCM
493 independent MRL wrestlers
492.6 independent wrestlers
492.4 RADS
491.8 COT, PAIN
491.2 CC
491 HMW
490.8 OC, TRUTH
489.8 FHI
489 IDOC
488.8 TBZ
487.8 SDI, SW
(NW and DKOH brought up the rear)

Thanks to everyone who took part in this year's event. We hope to see you all next year, when ACE defends its title of "top stable in the IWA!"

 

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION

After securing the Bronze Federation honors with a 500-pointer, ILL: Power Hungry Maniac (WCL) traded in his prize so he could claim the $300,000 IWA Heavyweight title! His manager, Jason P. Miller of Kansas, gets his choice of 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt and 50 free matches.

 

U.S. CHAMPION

ACE: "Rugged" Randy Sanders (WSL) used his 499-point strategy to overpower our other TV champions last cycle. That means he earned an engraved plaque or 25 free matches for manager Howie Sandberg of New York!

 

KING OF THE RING

Adding the values of hold positions 1, 2, 5, 6, 8, 11, 12, and 13 in each battle royal winner's strategy showed us that ACE: JMK (FJL), managed by Bob Dippy of Pennsylvania, was the rightful wearer of this crown! He had a 272-point total. Bob can now decide between an engraved plaque and 25 free matches. Hold positions 1, 3, 4, 7, 9, 10, 14, and 15 were used to determine the league battle royal outcomes.

 

AMERICAN CHAMPION

ACE: Playboy Pat Burrell (AAL) received $25,000 in imaginary money for winning this title. His manager, Michael Eaves of Mississippi, provided his 499 total, so Michael wins 10 free matches!

 

ASIATIC CHAMPION

Mark Duchaine of Vermont picked up this title (and another 10 free matches) with a little help from WWW: Sinister Steve Stryker (CSL). Nice going, Mark!

 

HARDCORE CHAMPION

WWW: Little Orphan Amphetamine (PKL) is so hardcore, he was able to retain this title! Congratulations go out to his manager, Mark Duchaine of Vermont, who will receive 10 free matches for this achievement.

 

CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION

EXODUS: Asmodeus (NBL), managed by Scott Lowe from none of your business, edged out both CFH: Allister Fiend (WEL) and E-POD/DA: Shawn Walker (SGL) to take home this $25,000 purse along with 10 free matches!

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS

The Iron Federation belt stayed in the hands of Ohioan Keith A. Maple. This time he used LPPF: Money Hungry Bandit James A. Brisco (MBL) to get the job done. James had a 499-pointer. So did ACE: "Diabolical" Devin Frontier (KKL), who used it to great effect in the Steel Federation. His manager is Howie Sandberg of New York. The Gold Federation champion was I AM THE GREAT: Brutal Derek Butcher (BBL). He earned an imaginary $40,000, while manager Edward Ledeger, Jr. of California won 25 free matches! Eventual World Champion Power Hungry Maniac began his journey by taking the Bronze strap. Michael Eaves of Mississippi collected his fifteenth Diamond Federation win after ACE: Celtic Tiger (LBL) edged WWW: The Amazon (NAL)! He also scored a victory in the Jade Federation, thanks to American Champion ACE: Playboy Pat Burrell (AAL), who had 499 points. That brings Michael's career federation title count to 39!

 

NATIONAL CHAMPION, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS

After defeating the competition for the Central region, the Great Mudo (MRL) set his sights on the National title and won it with his 499 total! His manager, Chris Banahan of Massachusetts, can choose an engraved plaque or 25 free matches as his reward. Gaining $20,000 apiece for the other regions were...

Atlantic: ACE: Method of Destruction (MBL)
managed by the Mysterious Benefactor; edged stablemate Jerky John Musacha (AAL)
Dixie: ILL: The Destroyer of Rome (MBL)
owned by Darrell Brewer of Alabama; edged out ACE: Flaw (ICL)
Eastern: E$T: Shaman of Sexy (WCL)
Zach Gargus of Parts Unknown coached him to victory over ILL/RAW: Hunter (XPL)
Mountain: E$T: Columbia's #1 Virgin Slayer (KSL)
also belongs to Zach Gargus; used point flow against ACE: Persuasive Pat Patterson (KKL)
Northern: EDGE: Johnny Cage (JIL)
managed by Joachim Storz of Germany; edged E$T: Princeton's #1 Virgin Slayer (KSL), COT/NHL: Alexander Ovechkin (HSL), ILL: Walker Texas Ranger (AAL), ILL/RAW: The Game (XPL), EDGE: Black Knight (IML), WWW: Pimp C (NAL), and WWW: Vicenzo Pellegrino (CCL)
Pacific: WWW: Denver Bronco (CCL)
given a 499 by "StableKing" Eric Sickler of Virginia
Prairie: E$T: Kelly Kelly's #1 Fan (WCL)
owned by Zach Gargus; edged out ACE/XD: Roah "The Serpent" Yang (AAL), ILL: Precious Moments Bunny (THL), and WWW: Mark the Master Duchaine (JIL)
Southern: WWW: Dr. Pain Mark Duchaine (JIL)
hails from Vermont
Western: ACE: "Time Bomb" Billy Magnum (WSL)
managed to a 499-pointer by Howie Sandberg of New York

 

LADIES' TITLES

Keith A. Maple of Ohio won the engraved plaque or 15 free matches given to the manager of the Ladies' World Champion when LPPF: Knockout Specialist Rebecca Streets (LLL) edged out ILL: Anita "Lotta" Payne (VVL). Since there were no hard feelings, he teamed Rebecca with his Bloody Assault Jessica Lee Richards and ILL: Nikki Blair (LLL), owned by Rob Bream of Pennsylvania, and the trio took home the U.S. Six-woman belts! NGAA: Mara O'Connor (MDL) fought her way to the Queen of the Ring title under the watchful eye of S. Daniel Stunes from Arkansas. The Ladies' U.S. champion was ILL: The TSuenami Sue Norris (VVL). She's managed by "The Smooth One" Jeff Manning of Ohio. The Ladies' National title went to Paul C. Low of Maryland's Sweet Lorena (LLL), who edged out ILL: "Misery" Sharon Payne (VVL) and LB: Kimona (VVL). RUS: Natalya and Svetlana (LLL) also lost by point flow, but Paul C. Low sent them after the Ladies' Tag-team straps, and they returned victorious! Daniel Peton of New Jersey led UKA: Jamaican Princess and Rasta Queen (LLL) to the Ladies' U.S. tag titles. The World Six-woman belts got to remain in Wisconsin, compliments of Michael Koch. His team of IDOC: Kamikaze Taekwan, "Sumo Queen" Yuki Nono, and Dame Everetta Parfrey (LLL) used point flow to best ILL: Powerpuff Girls Jessica, Tiffany, and Erin (MDL)!

 

WORLD TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS

ACE/TCM: Timmy Folgers and Robby Daulton (MRL) moved up to first place after being ranked fourth last cycle! Their manager, Scott Bernes of Ohio, will receive either an engraved plaque or 15 free matches for leading them to the top. The first seven teams listed in the standings had 516 points.

 

TOP 10 TAG-TEAMS

1. ACE/TCM: Timmy Folgers & Robby Daulton (MRL)
2. ILL: Antichrist Superstar & Brimstone (HSL)
3. ILL: Hell Hounds #1 & #3 (UFL)
4. ACE: Magnificent Matthew Siik & Big Money Graeme Stembridge (MBL)
5. EDGE: The False Prophet & Galan Dracos (IML)
6. ACE/ST: "Mr. Signs" the Zodiac & "The Clown" John Wayne Gacy (PKL)
7. WWW: Warped Drive & Buda Von Winnershong (OSL)
8. ILL: Swavio Stooksberry & Short Beard the Pirate (HML)
9. UKA: The Disciples of Pain & Fear (CSL)
10. Mobsters Nick Santilla & Rocky Tartaglia (MIL)

 

U.S. TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS

ACE: The Mysterious Benefactor teamed with Method of Destruction (MBL), whose career he also manages, and the pair picked up these $20,000 titles. Way to go!

 

WORLD SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS

WWW: Warped Drive, Buda Von Winnershong, and Brother Beatdown (OSL) moved up to first place after being ranked fourth last cycle! (Whoa, deja vu.) They're managed by Mike Moore of North Carolina. Ending in an unbreakable tie with them were ILL: Eric Arsett and the Pirates (HML), who are owned by Darrell Brewer of Alabama. The top six teams listed had a perfect 521 points.

 

TOP 10 SIX-MAN TEAMS

1. WWW: Warped Drive, Buda Von Winnershong, Brother Beatdown (OSL)
ILL: Eric Arsett, Smelly Beard the Pirate, Goat Beard the Pirate (HML)
3. ILL: Killer Kyle Broslovski, Mr. Garrison, Professor Chaos (THL)
4. ACE: The Mysterious Benefactor, Magnificent Matthew Siik, Big Money Graeme Stembridge (MBL)
5. EDGE: Black Knight, Agamemnon, the Illustrious Ishtar (IML)
6. ILL: 6, Man, Tandem (ICL)
7. NGAA: Dionysus, Amalgam, Hawkeye Science (NGL)
8. Col. St. Eaves, Flagbearer Johnny Spade, Jeep Swensens (MRL)
9. ACE: "Mr. Dribble" Ace, "Blitzkrieg" Jack, "Riverboat Hustler" Deuce Diamond (NAL)
ACE: Persuasive Pat Patterson, Pat Patterson's Ring Boy, Tortured Soul (BWL)

 

U.S. SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS

Jason P. Miller of Kansas added these $20,000 titles to his winnings last cycle. He did it using ILL: Drag Queen Warriors Champagne, Mercedes, and Alexis (ICL). Their team total was a perfect 521 points!

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES

The most active leagues for the November cycle are listed below, ranked according to the amount of matches in each. The All Star League (our oldest league) leapt into first place from last cycle's third place showing! Managers in the Xtreme Poison League can take two matches for $1 next cycle instead of paying our regular prices, because their active wrestlers had the best average strategy total in the top 10. The previous winner, the UWL, was right behind, and the JIL finished a very close third.

1. ASL (996 matches) 489.245
2. MRL (981 matches) 489.134
3. GRL (891 matches) 486.864
4. XPL (695 matches) 492.517
5. ZPL (549 matches) 481.135
6. FSL (541 matches) 471.619
7. LLL (530 matches) 491.462
8. NAL (512 matches) 489.304
9. UWL (508 matches) 492.379
10. JIL (474 matches) 492.222

 

TOP 20 VICTORIES

(Inactive wrestlers were excluded from this list.)

1. "Mr. Powerful" Ken Lambeau (PKL) 9,066-1,060-191
2. Johnny "2 Kold" Koolakowski (LOL) 4,996-152-36
3. RENEGADE: Eric "The Cobra" Langdon (MIL) 4,993-1,388-195
4. WWW: Mike White Lightning Moore (QPL) 4,860-1,451-264
5. JL6: The Hooded Inmate (IML) 4,557-915-177
6. PAIN: Dragon Tzu (AAL) 4,196-1,791-337
7. S4C: Willie Wino (NSL) 4,163-673-145
8. PAIN: Manitou (AAL) 4,154-1,752-320
9. S4C: Danny Boy O'Day (NSL) 4,115-777-161
10. CC: Oliver Shagnasty (NSL) 4,093-797-138
11. PAIN: Cougar - WK (AAL) 4,005-1,794-341
12. LPPF: Innovator of Arrogance Keith A. Maple (IIL) 3,688-140-75
13. ROW: Special Agent B.M.F. (JIL) 3,653-1,030-254
14. King Cobra (KKL) 3,501-366-53
15. WWW: Sir Gunther Kinderwacht (NAL) 3,494-399-116
16. KOC: Cpl. Punishment (LBL) 3,363-245-58
17. DFI: American Freedom Fighter E.J. (SHL) 3,292-660-192
18. Easy E. Joe Cool (CWL) 3,198-620-119
19. S4C: Bluebottle (ASL) 3,120-1,182-208
20. RWS: Mike Drake (ABL) 3,116-366-118

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

IRON FEDERATION: Center Stage, Empire Wrestling, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Iron Man, Murder Incorporated, Mysterious Benefactor, New Generation, Quick Pin, Rising Stars, Slumber-party Massacre, Under Fire, Wrestling Superstars, Xtreme Poison

STEEL FEDERATION: Absolute Pain, Caribbean Coast, Devil Inside, Intense Impact, King Kong, Lost Souls, Mid-Atlantic Region, New Blood, Old School, Pressure Packed, Rebel Yell, Vicious Valkyries, Wild Panthers, Zeus Power

GOLD FEDERATION: All Star, Battle Royal, Blood Bath, Chicago Legends, Classic Wrestling, Dark Angel, Easy Rider, Federated Suns, Hit Man, Majestic Property, Masked Wrestling, Mystic Diva, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death

DIAMOND FEDERATION: American Bodyslam, American Legion, Bounty Hunter, Dark Days, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Last Breath, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling

BRONZE FEDERATION: Barbaric Warrior, Coffin Filler, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hot Streak, Iron Glove, Jersey City, Main Event, Men of Steel, Old Timer's, Raging Bull, Soul Asylum, Torture Chamber, War Cry

JADE FEDERATION: Atomic Age, Iron Cross, Jade Dragon, Just Incredible, Just Rasslin', Killer Soldiers, Lovely Ladies, Psychotic Killer, Smoking Gun, Super Hero, Thor's Hammer, Total Package, Unknown Wrestler, World Wrestling, Wrestlers Elite

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