IWA REPORT
Vol. 13, No. 10 -- July 2008
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JOHNNY B SAYS

Several managers have requested that we give more recognition to our rookie leagues, and we've responded by creating our newest title: the Cruiserweight Championship! Every cycle, the league champion from each of our rookie leagues will compete to receive $25,000 in imaginary money, plus 10 free matches for his manager. Currently, our leagues with "rookie" status are the BHL, EHL, ERL, FIL, MSL, NBL, RSL, SGL, TCL, and ZPL. If your wrestler belongs to one of these leagues, he has a chance to win the title!

If you do not have a wrestler in one of these leagues, you may not create a new wrestler in any of them, and you also may not transfer an existing wrestler into them. These leagues are reserved for managers who are new to the game.

Stay tuned for the results of the first Cruiserweight title bout. This is a great time to introduce a friend to the IWA!

 

HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES

Jamison O'Neal of Maine has decided to enter two of his wrestlers in our Hall of Fame this cycle. RWS/EBM: "Bad Tempered" County Boy called the BWL home. This former Bronze Federation Champion amassed a record of 1,080-236-87, with $1,957,100 in earnings and 13 stars. RWS/EBM: "Sexy" Eva of the VVL won the Ladies' National title, and in last year's Summer cycle she took the Queen of the Ring honors, plus the Democratic Republic of the Congo, Pakistan, and Sudan titles in Imagimania XXII. She again claimed the Queen's crown and also the Ladies' World Championship in the September cycle of that year. Her final stats stand at 1,233-223-84, with $2,234,400 in the bank and 6 stars. Jamison will receive two engraved plaques for managing these legendary grapplers!

 

A LEGEND WALKS OFF INTO THE SUNSET

"After much thought on the matter and weighing all of my imaginary options, I have decided to step away from the game at this time. I thank all of my imaginary co-managers for their support, hatred, and friendships over the years. Winning two World titles, six U.S. titles, two National titles, over twenty federation titles, every major/minor title ever created, and countless championships in between, it has been a very great ride. July 1991 marked my entry into this world of imaginary war and July 2008 marks my exit. For seventeen years I've 'traveled' the highways and back roads with some of the best wrestlers in the imaginary world. Time takes a toll on your imaginary mind and body, and more recently I've struggled to get my strategies correct to counter all of you great managers. I'd like to mention only three managers in closing -- Cody Schibi, Jason Miller, and O.J. Dompier. Without these managers coming along at various stages in my 'career,' I wouldn't be where I am today, and I thank them for that. I consider Cody and Jason friends outside of the imaginary game we love to play, and will always be open to speaking with anyone else, as well. This is THE Franchise Zach Gargus signing off."

 

WORLD CHAMPION

After winning the Diamond Federation title with a perfect 501, COT: Kid Rock (RCL) defeated our other federation champions to claim 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt and 50 free matches for manager Ryan Reid of Tennessee. Congratulations!

 

U.S. CHAMPION

This prize of an engraved plaque or 25 free matches went to Howie Sandberg of New York, who coached ACE: The Legendary One (AEL) to a top TV champion score of 500 points!

 

KING OF THE RING

LPPF: Luscious Larry Lawrence (PML) won the choice of an engraved plaque or 25 free matches for Rob Bream of Pennsylvania by having an unbeatable 277 points when we added up the values of hold positions 3, 4, 7, 8, 10, 12, 13, and 15 in the strategy of every league battle royal winner! Hold positions 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 9, 11, and 14 were used for the battle royals.

 

ASIATIC CHAMPION

Chad Burton of Indiana pocketed these 10 free matches and garnered even more respect for the Circle of Tyrants by supplying COT: Cracker Jack Black (CFL) with a 500-point strategy!

 

HARDCORE CHAMPION

LPPF: Tony (ALL), managed by Gregg Boyle of Maryland, won this $25,000 title by point flow over ROME: Fate (TDL), OC: Nightshade, the Master of Mind Games (RYL), RWS: Titan (HWL), and stablemate Deathmatch Celebrity Charles Manson (PKL). Great job!

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS

RWS: Titan (HWL) stole the show in the Iron Federation! His manager is New York's own Michael Drake. The Steel Federation champion was ILL: Zippo the Clown (KKL). "The Smooth One" Jeff Manning of Ohio coached him to a 500-pointer. In the Gold Federation, TNT: Death Warrant (MWL) scored a dangerous 499 points, which won him $40,000 in imaginary money! His manager, James Dermott of New York, will receive 25 free matches. The Diamond Federation went to Kid Rock, who then fought his way to the World title. Taking the Bronze championship was LPPF: Scandalous Steven Valor (AEL). His manager, Rob Bream of Pennsylvania, led him to point flow victory over stablemate Posturing Hero (HSL) and Asiatic Champion COT: Cracker Jack Black (CFL). All three wrestlers had a 500 total! The Jade Federation belt went home with LPPF: Crisis (ICL). Manager Jeremy Smith of Indiana had to help him edge past LPPF: Precious Moments Bunny (AAL), as both stable members had 500 points.

 

NATIONAL CHAMPION, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS

COT: "Acadian Crippler" Roark LeRoux (RCL) conquered the Atlantic region with a perfect 501 total, then used that same strategy to secure the National title. His manager, Ryan Reid of Tennessee, can add either an engraved plaque or 25 free matches to his list of prizes! The rest of the winners were...

Central: ROME: Faithful Apostate (PPL)
managed to 500 points by Shaun McPeck of Illinois
Dixie: HB: Maniac Marcus Best (THL)
Stephen Hite of Texas helped him edge out LE: Macho Man Michael Cole (APL), EDGE: Lord Bowler the Bounty Hunter (GRL), PAIN: John Morrison (IRL), OC: Panther Warrior #1 (RYL), ACE: Purveyor of Destruction (NAL), CTI: Crazy Baseball for a Head Guy (SAL), and LPPF: Aaron (NML)
Eastern: ACE: Always Right Sean Hannity (PML)
owned by Jason Sandberg of New York; defeated RWS: Roderick Rampage (MEL) by point flow
Mountain: LPPF: Masked Terror #3 (NAL)
Rob Bream of Pennsylvania gave him a 500-pointer
Northern: ACE: Gang Warfare (IRL)
managed by Howie Sandberg of New York
Pacific: LPPF: Reed (TPL)
armed with a 499 total by Gregg Boyle of Maryland
Prairie: ROME: Reverent Skeptic (PPL)
owned by Shaun McPeck; scored 500 points
Southern: ACE: Always Right Rush Limbaugh (PML)
coached to a 500 by Jason Sandberg
Western: LPPF/PAIN/WWW: Urban Legend (ECL)
led to victory over ACE: Pat Patterson's Ring Boy (AEL) by DragonRage AKA BossCat Empson of Virginia

 

LADIES' TITLES

Our reigning Ladies' World Champion is ILL: Brenda "Bring Da" Payne (VVL). Her 500-pointer earned an engraved plaque or 15 free matches for "The Smooth One" Jeff Manning of Ohio, who also won the Ladies' National title with ILL: Aunt Flo (VVL)! She edged out ILL: The TSuenami Sue Norris (VVL) and ACE: Beach Bum Lucy Bufkin (GDL). Jeff also took the Ladies' U.S. Tag-team straps by coaching ILL: "Misery" Sharon and Anita "Lotta" Payne (VVL) to a point flow win over EDGE: Miss America 1921 and the Log Lady (GDL). Paul C. Low of Maryland couldn't decide if he wanted Raesta "Fire Scorpion" Guerrera (VVL) to try for the Queen of the Ring honors or the Ladies' U.S. title. She got sick of waiting, so she left and came back with both! The Ladies' Tag-team belts went to COT: Zebra Cakes and Strawberry Shortcake (GDL). They were managed to 516 points by Mick Garig of Louisiana. Claiming the World Six-woman titles were LPPF: Brianna Slamma, Tiffy Amber, and Amarie (VVL), who are managed by Gregg Boyle of Maryland. Neel LaBar of Virginia guided LE: Allison Danger, Daizee Haze, and Sara Del Rey (VVL) to the U.S. Six-woman straps.

 

WORLD TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS

ACE: "Rock Star" Razor Seether and the Roughhouse Roadie (JIL), who are under contract to Howie Sandberg of New York, had to split this prize money with LPPF: Precious Moments Squirrel and Professor Chaos (AAL), managed by Jason P. Miller of Kansas, since both teams ended in an unbreakable tie! The top four pairs in the standings had 516 points.

 

TOP 10 TAG-TEAMS

1. ACE: "Rock Star" Razor Seether & the Roughhouse Roadie (JIL)
LPPF: Precious Moments Squirrel & Professor Chaos (AAL)
3. LPPF: Lucifer & Odin (PML)
4. LPPF: Drag Queen Warrior Mercedes & the Artist Formerly Known as Prince (ICL)
5. EDGE/LAD: Galen Jackson & Jumpin' Johnny Fawcett (PPL)
6. EDGE: The Illustrious Ishtar & Galan Dracos (TPL)
7. TV: Smasher & Basher (GRL)
8. ACE: "High Roller" Hank Richards & "Mr. Cool" Quinn Clarkson (BBL)
9. ACE: "Mr. Cool" Quinn Clarkson & "Pimp Daddy" Paulie Rich (OSL)
10. LE: The Italian Stallion Tony Schiavone & the Gigolo Jim Ross (APL)

 

U.S. TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS

These $20,000 purses were awarded to EDGE: Mr. Droolcup the Giant and Special Agent Dale Cooper (PPL), who wrestle under the leadership of Cody Schibi from Texas. Nice work!

 

WORLD SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS

Jason P. Miller of Kansas kept these titles in his possession by coaching LPPF: The Springfield Assassin, the Kwik-E-Mart Mauler, and Starscream (CCL) to the only 521-point team total among all league six-man champions last cycle! He wins the choice between an engraved plaque and 15 free matches. Previous champions Glitz, Glamour, and "Rock Star" Razor Seether managed to stay on the top 10 list, which is no easy feat!

 

TOP 10 SIX-MAN TEAMS

1. LPPF: The Springfield Assassin, the Kwik-E-Mart Mauler, Starscream (CCL)
2. CTI: Zeus, Ares, Hercules (ASL)
3. EDGE: Mr. Droolcup the Giant, Leland "I Killed Laura" Palmer, Special Agent Dale Cooper (PPL)
LPPF: Powerhouse Pete, Awesome Adam, Bonecrusher Bobby Stryker (MIL)
LPPF: Killer Kyle Broslovski, Krazy Kenny McCormick, Mr. Slave (AAL)
6. ACE: Glitz, Glamour, "Rock Star" Razor Seether (JIL)
7. Jake "The Milkman" Milliman, HIGHER FLYERS: "Jumpin" Jim Brazil, Graig Gagne (MRL)
8. CTI: Crazy Baseball for a Head Guy, Crazy Hand for a Head Guy, G.W. "The Snake" Horton (SAL)
9. MM: Marga, Samudaya, Dukkha (CFL)
10. EDGE: Cuthrak, Ollis, Thanatos Rage (TPL)

 

U.S. SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS

LPPF: J-Lew, LiL MarK, and Clayton (TPL) finally won these $20,000 titles after a long, fierce battle with the Soviet Supermen -- Khrushchev, Nikita, and Ivan (MRL). The winning trio is managed by Gregg Boyle of Maryland!

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES

The most active leagues for the Summer cycle, going by the number of matches, are listed below. For the third straight cycle, the Grim Reaper League outshined all others! Also for the third consecutive cycle, managers in the Non-stop Action League earned the choice of taking two matches for $1 instead of paying our regular prices! That's because their active wrestlers had the highest average strategy total. The MRL again finished a very close second. The DDL was nipping at its heels, and the LLL wasn't far behind.

1. GRL (1,400 matches) 487.233
2. UWL (935 matches) 485.820
3. MBL (789 matches) 482.787
4. ASL (717 matches) 488.268
5. MRL (708 matches) 490.179
6. NAL (698 matches) 490.310
7. LLL (529 matches) 489.289
8. DDL (528 matches) 489.932
9. BBL (496 matches) 477.327
10. NBL (467 matches) 439.095

 

TOP 20 STARS

(Inactive wrestlers were excluded from this list.)

1. X-RAIDED: Super Stud Biff Backhand (ASL) 53
2. LPPF: Sinister Steve Stryker (CSL) 49
3. SAMHAIN: Damien Deadsoul (ECL) 47
4. WWW: Mike White Lightning Moore (ECL)
LPPF: Nightmare Sam Hell (NDL)
45
6. LPPF: Innovator of Arrogance Keith A. Maple (SML)
LPPF: Buda Von Blitzen (MIL)
EDGE: The Terminator (CSL)
EDGE: Chris Coldstone (JIL)
CTI: Outlaw Tony Taylor (NFL)
44
11. CARTEL: New Breed Destroyer (ASL) 43
12. TV: Danni Ashe (FFL)
LPPF: Lord of Illusions (JIL)
COT: Duke Dangerous (JIL)
42
15. WWW: Masked Stormtrooper Lightning (BBL)
LPPF: Hooded Nightmare (OTL)
CTI: Loverboy Louie Lopez (NFL)
41
18. TV: Road Warrior Beast (SHL)
CTI: Danny S. Spivey (HML)
COT: Morbid Terror (ECL)
40

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

IRON FEDERATION: Battling Titans, Center Stage, Danger Zone, Empire Wrestling, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Iron Man, Murder Incorporated, Mysterious Benefactor, New Generation, Quick Pin, Rising Stars, Slumber-party Massacre, Under Fire, Wrestling Superstars, Xtreme Poison

STEEL FEDERATION: Absolute Pain, Caribbean Coast, Devil Inside, Intense Impact, King Kong, Lost Souls, Mid-Atlantic Region, New Blood, Old School, Praying Mantis, Pressure Packed, Rebel Yell, Vicious Valkyries, Wild Panthers, Zeus Power

GOLD FEDERATION: All Star, Battle Royal, Blood Bath, Chicago Legends, Classic Wrestling, Easy Rider, Gold Digger, Hit Man, Majestic Property, Masked Wrestling, New Millennium, Ninja Dojo, Olympic Gold, Texas Death

DIAMOND FEDERATION: American Bodyslam, American Legion, Bounty Hunter, Dark Days, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Internal Rage, Last Breath, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling

BRONZE FEDERATION: Alter Ego, Barbaric Warrior, Coffin Filler, Extreme Hardcore, Fightin' Irish, Grim Reaper, Hot Streak, Iron Glove, Knight Time, Main Event, Men of Steel, Old Timer's, Soul Asylum, Torture Chamber, War Cry

JADE FEDERATION: Atomic Age, Iron Cross, Jade Dragon, Just Incredible, Just Rasslin', Killer Soldiers, Lone Wolf, Lovely Ladies, Psychotic Killer, Smoking Gun, Super Hero, Thor's Hammer, Total Package, Unknown Wrestler, World Wrestling

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