IWA REPORT
Vol. 13, No. 6 -- Spring 2008
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HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES

Our first retiree this cycle is WWW: Stormbringer Williams from the NDL! His final stats are 1,035-464-58 and $2,050,200. Throughout his career he was most noted for his feuds. In the AEL he feuded with the SCAT tag-team, and in the NDL he feuded with members of The Click. Both feuds ended with his opponents leaving the leagues. He is retiring to pursue other interests, which include bounty hunting. An engraved plaque will be sent to his manager, Ed Cassens of Missouri!

The Bald-Headed Boogie Man from Wig-Wam is also retiring! He started his career in the World Wrestling League of the Jade Federation in September 2005, and ended in the Anarchist Lust League of the Diamond Federation. He finishes his career with 1,085 wins, 376 losses, 21 draws, and $1,432,200 in earnings. He is the second wrestler to enter the IWA Hall of Fame from the team of Blake Morgan and Gary Cassibry, Sr. (both of Mississippi) since Jerry Bob Landry!

A woman dressed in a business suit steps forward to the platform, adjusts her glasses, and begins to speak. "Thanks for coming out, everyone. I'm Jessica Vames, Anthony Pratt's assistant. Mr. Pratt couldn't be here today, but wanted me to read a statement to you all on his behalf." (Jessica begins to read his prepared draft.) "With the recent growth of my record label, I have decided to retire from the IWA. This game provided so much fun for me playing it as a young boy (early teens), and nearly 17 years later I've decided to walk away from it. Thank you, IWA, for providing such memories. It was fun. I want to thank the following managers for hanging in there with me over the years: Dee McKeown, Gary Edgar, Jr., Kyle Peterson, R.D. Strickland, Craig Perkins, Alan and Linda Pedriera, Tom Heholt, John Keady, Ryan Fertuck, Keith and John Voss, Steve Petty, Nathan Jendrick, John Tracey, Jeremy Smith, Phil Raia, Dennis Hammack, Gerald Robinson, Tony Mattera, Tony Scheinman, B.C Empson, Bo Cantrell, Derek Nordio, Frank Snow, Eric Lindsey, Zach Mercier, Jerome Arroyo, Dan Harrell, Jammin' James Nichols, Jason Groomes, Aaron Fletcher, and Stacy Kowalski. I got to know many of you outside of this game. THANK YOU." (Fade to black.)

Some of this legendary Californian's past stables were KOPD, DDT, IA, UWA, VOT*, VILE, and IIEII. His retiring wrestlers from the CFL are DDT/VILE/UWA: Pratt the Impaler (1,100-115-51, $5,544,700 *17), DDT/VILE/UWA: Vyle Misfit #1 (1,038-188-21, $1,662,400 *13), and DDT/VILE/UWA: Vyle Misfit #2 (1,172-163-28, $5,180,200 *19). Entering our Hall from the GRL is DDT/VILE/UWA: Heartless Anthony Pratt (1,112-154-27, $5,524,200 *16). We wish Anthony continued success in life, and will send him four engraved plaques to hang on the wall in his office!

 

WORLD CHAMPION

CEO: Captain HiJack (THL) won this title and its prize of 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt and 50 free matches for manager Gregg Boyle of Maryland! His strategy was worth a perfect 501 points.

 

U.S. CHAMPION

Gregg Boyle of Maryland gained this engraved plaque or 25 free matches, compliments of CEO: "Quit Crying" Bobby D. (THL) and his 500-pointer. Nice going!

 

KING OF THE RING

Totalling the values of hold positions 2, 5, 6, 8, 10, 11, 13, and 14 in each battle royal winner's strategy led us straight to CTI: Vampiro (WWL), managed to 272 points by John Gabriel of Pennsylvania! John wins the choice between an engraved plaque and 25 free matches. The league battle royals used hold positions 1, 3, 4, 7, 8, 9, 12, and 15.

 

ASIATIC CHAMPION

These 10 free matches went to Rob Bream of Pennsylvania, who coached LPPF: A.C. Steel (JDL) to victory over our other Asiatic league champions! Great work.

 

HARDCORE CHAMPION

Jason Sandberg of New York ripped this belt out of his brother's clutches with the help of ACE: The Hypochondriac Mickey Sax (TDL)! Mickey received $25,000 and Jason picked up 10 free matches.

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS

Darrell Brewer of Alabama unleashed PERFECT: Brewermania (IML) on the Iron Federation, and ended up with 25 free matches! Losing by point flow were ACE: "Disturbed" David Disaster (MIL), "The Legendary" C.S. Banahan (CSL), ACE: The CS Kid (UFL), and PERFECT: Indifferent Narcissistic Sociopath (WSL). The Steel Federation champion was ACE/EAGLES: Super Five (LSL)! He's managed by Bob Dippy of Pennsylvania. Hardcore Champion ACE: The Hypochondriac Mickey Sax (TDL) won the Gold Federation honors for Jason Sandberg of New York. In the Diamond Federation, David White of California armed PERFECT: Mouse (FJL) with an unbeatable 499-point strategy. CEO: Self-Righteous Schmuck (NYL) took home the Bronze title after being edged for it last cycle. Managed by Jason P. Miller of Kansas, he used point flow against LPPF: Sadistic Servant (Burning Underworld) #1 (CFL) -- who ALSO missed this title by point flow last time! The Jade strap went to eventual World Champion Captain HiJack.

 

NATIONAL CHAMPION, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS

Zach Gargus from Parts Unknown coached CEO/E$T: Rule Changer #20 (JRL) to point flow victory over ACE: "Mr. Clutch" Chris Drury (JDL) and ACE: James LaBrie (TPL) in the battle for the Eastern region, then fought all the way to the National Championship! He will receive his choice of an engraved plaque or 25 free matches. The rest of the regions went to...

Atlantic: ACE: "True #1" Martin Biron (PKL)
owned by Jason Sandberg of New York; edged out ROME: Mr. Sandman (THL), CTI: Typical Drunken Injun (LWL), and CTI: Umaga (WWL)
Central: ACE: "Mad" Max Afinogenov (PKL)
also owned by Jason Sandberg; defeated PERFECT: Luigi (KSL) by point flow
Dixie: ACE: Amazing Austin Seid (TPL)
managed by Randy Mercado of Pennsylvania; edged ACE: "The Flying Finn" Toni Lydman (JDL)
Mountain: CEO: Precious Moments Executioner (AAL)
under contract to Jason P. Miller of Kansas; edged out ACE: Bad News Blake (JDL), CEO: Your Entry Level Benz (KTL), and CTI: Ed (FJL)
Northern: PERFECT: Raphael (ICL)
owned by David White of California; used point flow against ACE: The Blue Blazer (JDL)
Pacific: CEO: Clayton (TPL)
managed by Gregg Boyle of Maryland; edged PERFECT: Link (KSL), CEO: Brewer Texas Ranger (LWL), ACE: Rabid Wolverine (JDL), and ACE: "Mentally Disabled" Darcy Regier (PKL)
Prairie: CEO: Mason (TPL)
also managed by Gregg Boyle; edged out both ACE: Fruitcake Frank Rizzo (PKL) and ROME: Axis (THL)
Southern: CTI: Inuyasha (SHL)
property of Scott Bernes from Ohio
Western: ACE: Beanie (PKL)
kept Howie Sandberg of New York's name on this title

 

LADIES' TITLES

The Ladies' World title went to LPPF: Nikki Blair (LLL)! She was managed to point flow victory over COT: Allyson (FFL) by Rob Bream of Pennsylvania, who gets his choice of an engraved plaque or 15 free matches. Taking the Queen of the Ring crown was RUS: Aneta (LLL), managed by Paul C. Low of Maryland! ACE: Beth Phoenix (LLL) won the Ladies' U.S. championship. Her manager, Neel LaBar of Virginia, also helped ACE: Bull Nakano and Akira Hokuto (LLL) retain their Ladies' U.S. tag straps! ACE: Bloodmaid #2 (LLL) took the Ladies' National title home to Sly Smith of West Virginia, who also managed ACE: The Perfect Queen, Queen of Diamonds, and Queen of Hearts (FFL) to the World Six-woman belts! Luke Fletcher of Georgia claimed the tag honors with WWW: Sunny and Sable Blaze (LLL). The U.S. Six-woman champions were CEO: Powerpuff Girls Jennifer, Valerie, and Alisha (LLL). They edged out fellow Powerpuff Girls Amber, Chelsea, and Ashleigh (FFL), who also belong to Darrell Brewer of Alabama.

 

WORLD TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS

Howie Sandberg of New York earned an engraved plaque or 15 free matches by leading ACE: The Lovely Sheep and Stavros Milos (AAL) to these titles! The top five teams in the rankings had 516 points. COT: Death and War made the list for the third cycle in a row! Congratulations are in order for their manager, Mick Garig of Louisiana.

 

TOP 10 TAG-TEAMS

1. ACE: The Lovely Sheep & Stavros Milos (AAL)
2. ACE: Merchant of Agony & Dragon of Anarchy (NAL)
3. ACE: "High Flyin'" Alex Hash & "The Golden One" Petey Pump (JIL)
4. PERFECT: The Game & the Cerebral Assassin (XPL)
5. CEO: Mr. Mackey & Mr. Garrison (LOL)
6. CTI: Naraku & Sesshoumaru (OGL)
7. LPPF: A.C. & J.C. Steel (JDL)
8. COT: Death & War (DIL)
9. CTI: Kid Swift & Dynamite Kid (TPL)
10. JTG & Shad (WWL)
CEO: Gage & Sydney, Texas Rangers (LWL)

 

U.S. TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS

Three ACE teams ended in a draw for these belts! Amazing Austin Seid and Little Larry Branda (TPL) are managed by Randy Mercado of Pennsylvania. "Mad" Max Afinogenov and Thomas "The Sniper" Vanek (PKL) belong to Jason Sandberg, while Doctor...Doug Ross and Jerky John Musacha (AAL) are owned by his brother Howie (who also hails from New York). Each team had a perfect 516 points!

 

WORLD SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS

These titles had to be shared by three teams. The ACE members from the RYL belong to Bob Dippy of Pennsylvania. Neel LaBar of Virginia owns the #1 Chrinese Derrivery Guys, and Jason P. Miller of Kansas manages the CEO trio. The top nine teams listed had 521 points!

 

TOP 10 SIX-MAN TEAMS

1. ACE: Stephen McTowelie, Captain Murphy, Nathan Explosion (RYL)
ACE: #1 Chrinese Derrivery Guys Wang, Chung, Hung (HWL)
CEO: Dynamite Dave Chapelle, Ravenous Rick James, the Artist Formerly Known as Prince (JRL)
4. EDGE: Count "I Wanna Be A Werewolf" Dracula, the Vampire Plumber Xander Drainson, Uncle Ed the Toothless Vampire (SML)
PERFECT: Mario, Luigi, Yoshi (KSL)
6. PERFECT: Ego-Driven Psychopath, Silas, Antonius Kalas (WSL)
7. CEO: Gus, Jay, Darrell, Texas Rangers (LWL)
8. LB: Catfish Jackson, Smiling Jack Manitoba, Saxe Gotha (JIL)
9. EDGE: Rasmuth, Cuthrak, Ollis Rage (BRL)
10. EDGE: TML Legends Sittler, Gilmour, Clark (NDL)

 

U.S. SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS

The battle for these multi-man belts ALSO ended in a three-way tie! PERFECT: Heartless, Hostile, and Hateful Heathens (SML) represented their stable for Shaun McPeck of Illinois. ACE: Jordan Rudess, James LaBrie, and John Petrucci (TPL) took home a share of the prize for Randy Mercado of Pennsylvania. Howie Sandberg of New York brought ACE: Milton, Mr. "O" Face, and "The Working Man's Hero" Peter Gibbons (AAL) to the party, but couldn't get ACE: Beanie, "Ladies' Man" Mitch Martin, and Frank the Tank (PKL) past point flow security. Also edged out were PERFECT: Donkey Kong, Pac-Man, and Link (KSL), plus CEO: Brewer, Gage, and Sydney, Texas Rangers (LWL). Each team had 521 points!

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES

The most active leagues for the April cycle appear below, ranked by the amount of matches. For the fourth cycle in a row, the Unknown Wrestler League topped the list! Managers in the Lovely Ladies League can take two matches for $1 next time, since their active wrestlers had the highest average strategy total, making it a back-to-back win! The NAL and UWL also had very impressive averages.

1. UWL (1,224 matches) 490.041
2. ASL (772 matches) 484.188
3. ALL (750 matches) 488.443
4. GRL (717 matches) 485.847
5. BBL (566 matches) 478.750
6. NAL (551 matches) 490.790
7. MRL (541 matches) 484.574
8. LLL (469 matches) 492.300
9. WSL (463 matches)
MEL (463 matches)
488.500
472.643

 

TOP 20 MONEY HOLDERS

(Inactive wrestlers were excluded from this list.)

1. X-RAIDED: Super Stud Biff Backhand (ASL) $11,483,700
2. WWW: Mike White Lightning Moore (QPL) $11,329,800
3. DFI: American Freedom Fighter E.J. (SHL) $11,255,338
4. "Mr. Powerful" Ken Lambeau (PKL) $10,678,000
5. ACE: King Krusher (THL) $10,220,900
6. LPPF: Innovator of Arrogance Keith A. Maple (SML) $10,022,000
7. JL6: The Hooded Inmate (IML) $10,008,500
8. EDGE: Johnny Cage (OGL) $8,987,838
9. WWW: High Stakes Chris Edwards (CFL) $8,327,400
10. EDGE: Snake Badlands (QPL) $8,238,045
11. RENEGADE: Eric "The Cobra" Langdon (MIL) $7,953,500
12. PAIN: Manitou (AAL) $7,822,900
13. WWW: Motorheadbanger Annihilator (JIL) $7,710,100
14. PAIN: Cougar - WK (AAL) $7,392,100
15. ROW: Special Agent B.M.F. (JIL) $7,382,700
16. EDGE: Deacon Frost (OGL) $7,318,300
17. CC: Danny Boy O'Day (NSL) $7,260,700
18. CC: Oliver Shagnasty (NSL) $6,675,400
19. ACE: Hitman Howie Sandberg (NAL) $6,673,100
20. PAIN: Dragon Tzu (AAL) $6,538,900

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

IRON FEDERATION: Battling Titans, Center Stage, Danger Zone, Empire Wrestling, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Iron Man, Murder Incorporated, New Generation, Quick Pin, Slumber-party Massacre, Under Fire, Wrestling Superstars, Xtreme Poison

STEEL FEDERATION: Absolute Pain, Caribbean Coast, Devil Inside, Intense Impact, King Kong, Lost Souls, Mid-Atlantic Region, Old School, Praying Mantis, Pressure Packed, Rebel Yell, Vicious Valkyries, Wild Panthers, Zeus Power

GOLD FEDERATION: All Star, Battle Royal, Blood Bath, Chicago Legends, Classic Wrestling, Easy Rider, Gold Digger, Hit Man, Majestic Property, Masked Wrestling, New Millennium, Ninja Dojo, Olympic Gold, Texas Death

DIAMOND FEDERATION: American Bodyslam, Anarchist Lust, Bounty Hunter, Dark Days, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Internal Rage, Last Breath, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling

BRONZE FEDERATION: Alter Ego, Barbaric Warrior, Coffin Filler, Grim Reaper, Hot Streak, Iron Glove, Jagged Edge, Knight Time, Main Event, Men of Steel, New York, Soul Asylum, Torture Chamber, War Cry

JADE FEDERATION: Atomic Age, Iron Cross, Jade Dragon, Just Incredible, Just Rasslin', Killer Soldiers, Lone Wolf, Lovely Ladies, Psychotic Killer, Super Hero, Thor's Hammer, Total Package, Unknown Wrestler, World Wrestling

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