IWA REPORT
Vol. 11, No. 12 -- Dog Days 2006
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JOHNNY B SAYS

Stablecade 2006 will arrive next cycle! Get your wrestlers and stablemates organized for this annual extravaganza. If your wrestler jointly belongs to two or more stables, like ABC/XYZ, only the first initials listed in front of his name will count for this year's contest, so let us know if they need to be switched around. If you don't belong to a stable, you can still compete! You will team up with all the other independent wrestlers who sign up. Remember that changing your wrestler's name costs $2, but changing your stable initials is free!

 

HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES

After 12 wonderful years, over a thousand wins, and a U.S. and World Tag-team Championship, Bushwick Brooklyn's own The Mighty Warmachine has decided to call it quits. He was a man of few words, so his manager, The "Franchise" Phil Raia of NYC, did all the talking for him. Ending things in the MIL, Warmachine had stats of 1,025-276-62, with $5,667,300 in imaginary money. He was a true asset to the TUFF stable, and his contributions won't soon be forgotten. (Congratulations on earning your spot in our Hall, Phil!)

Blake Morgan and Gary Cassibry, Sr., both of Mississippi, partnered their managerial talents to lead Jerry Bob Landry from rookie to legendary status! Jerry made his debut in the Ultimate Survivor League back in March of 2004, and captured the National title in October of that same year. With two managers working together to develop his strategies, he was able to amass a record of 1,020-323-28 very quickly. (He also racked up $1,352,900 in earnings.) The Arm Lock League won't be the same without this fierce competitor.

Our final retiree this cycle is Dr. Richard S. Tife of the PML. A former Steel Federation champion and King of the Ring, Dr. Tife ends his career with a record of 1,008-264-58 *22 and $2,907,600 in earnings. An engraved plaque goes out to his manager, Dan Delaney of Ohio!

 

WORLD CHAMPION

Don Szurka of Wisconsin is the proud recipient of a real wrestling belt and 50 free matches or 100 free matches, since SE: Mental Case (ASL) proved to be unbeatable last cycle! After demolishing the competition in the Gold Federation, he had just enough juice left to pin Jade champion ACE: "Rock Star" Razor Seether (JIL) by point flow. Both men had a 501 total!

 

U.S. CHAMPION

Zach Gargus of Parts Unknown picked up his fourth U.S. title since joining the IWA! He did it with E$T: Awesome Kong (JRL), who used point flow to defeat SE: Basket Case (ASL), ROW: Lucifer (JIL), and TRI-ME: "The Titan" R.H. (NYL). All four wrestlers had 501 points. Zach gets his choice an engraved plaque or 25 free matches!

 

KING OF THE RING

Somewhere on the dark streets, riding on his Harley and wearing this crown, you'll find WCW: Baddest American Biker John 13th USA (CLL)! He is managed by David C. Welker of North Carolina, who gets an engraved plaque or 25 free matches. We added the values of hold positions 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 13, 14, and 15 in every battle royal winner's strategy, and John had a 273 total. FOE: Ace Anderson (MML) did, as well, but John had 500 points when counting all 15 holds, while Ace had 499.

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS

Jack the Ripper won the Iron Federation title with ACE: Frosty the Suicidal Snowman (UFL). USD: Tony "The King of Pancrase" Robinson (HTL) also had an impressive 500 points but was edged for the title, as was EDGE: Galen Jackson (NLL). The Steel Federation champion was ACE: The Masked Playboy - WK (PML), managed to a 500 total by the well-known John M. Kruse of Indiana. Mental Case won the Gold play-offs and used the opportunity to claim the World title. In the Diamond Federation, Steven M. Shotliff of Minnesota pocketed a second straight prize of 25 free matches, this time using MWC: Pit Boss (ALL)! He had 499 points. Taking the Bronze strap with a 500-point strategy was ACE: The Great Haugalamah (FTL), who is owned by Austin Hauger of Indiana. The Jade Federation belt went to ACE: "Rock Star" Razor Seether (JIL), who had 501 points! His manager is Howie Sandberg of New York. Also with a perfect total but losing by point flow was E$T: The Franchise Zach Gargus (JRL).

 

NATIONAL CHAMPION, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS

SE: Born from Pain (GRL), managed by Eric Dudick of New York, won an engraved plaque or 25 free matches with his perfect strategy! First he used point flow to win the Atlantic region over NMG: "The Crow" Eric Draven (NDL) and ACE: "High Flyin'" Alex Hash of the JIL (all with 501), then he narrowly defeated both of Howie Sandberg's henchmen to gain the National championship. Claiming the other regional titles were...

Central: UZI: Deadbeat Dad #2 (CLL)
owned by Jason P. Miller of Kansas; edged SS: Altar Boy (CWL), TV: Albion "Beyond Compare" O'Maire (ASL), Steel (NDL), COT: "The Untouchable" Steve Malone (TPL), and DOOM: Dark Prophet (BBL), all with 500
Dixie: ACE: "The Beast" Brian Fantana (HML)
managed to 501 points by Howie Sandberg of New York
Eastern: ACE: Bruiser Buck Dewitt (BRL)
managed by Sly Smith of West Virginia; edged out SE: Irate (TML), ACE: The Golden Boy K.C. Colossus (PML), A7X: Ego Consumed (CLL), WWW: Hardcore Dawkins (NML), A7X: Eager Death (WAL), UZI: The Reaper (CSLN), ACE: Surf Punk Johnny (TPL), EDGE: Jury (AEL), Chris Benoit (WWL), and UZI: Gangsta Dre (GRL), all with 499
Mountain: SDI: CEO Jason P. Brass VII (BBL)
belongs to Sirree A. Raysor of North Carolina; used point flow against WCW: Baddest American Biker Donovan McNabb (CLL), UKA: Count De Mo'Ney (OGL), COT: "The Phenom" Ryan Storm (JIL), ACE: Bad News Blake (BRL), ACE: The Suicide King (CWL), and ICE: Leviathan (ASL), all with 500
Northern: ACE/3B: Michael "Iron Mike" Schimdt (MWL)
managed by Austin Hauger of Indiana; edged DETH: Jacob Storm (TPL) and GUILD: Eric "The Eliminator" Endgame (ASL), all with 500
Pacific: UZI: The Artist Formerly Known as Prince (CLL)
under contract to Jason P. Miller; edged out IR: The Human Highlight Reel - JJ (JIL), DSI: Big Stevie Cool (TPL), DOOM: Cardinal Synn (BBL), and SS: Bone Crusher Smith (ASL), all with 500
Prairie: ACE: Anchorman Ron Burgundy (HML)
Howie Sandberg scores another perfect 501
Southern: John Deere (CLL)
answers to Megan Terrell of West Virginia; beat DOOM: Christian Faith (BBL) and IR: Immoral Terror (JIL) by point flow, all with 500
Western: UZI: "Mister Superstar" J.P.M. (GRL)
managed by Jason P. Miller; edged out SE: Mack Demon (BRL), UZI: Pillage (MML), and SE: Mind Ripper (ASL), all with 499

 

LADIES' TITLES

Gaining an engraved plaque or 15 free matches for leading NVUS: Strange Woman (LLL) to the Ladies' World Championship was Dan Delaney of Ohio! He gave her a 501-pointer, and supplied a 500 total to NVUS: Old Bag Lady (LLL), which was good enough for her to claim the Queen of the Ring crown. Also with 500 points was the Ladies' U.S. champion, ACE: Ditsy Denise Dallas (GDL)! She won the $20,000 purse for Sly Smith of West Virginia. Taking home the Ladies' National title for a third consecutive cycle was Jason P. Miller of Kansas! UZI: Your Sister (GDL) used her 500-pointer to edge out NVUS: Old Bag Lady (LLL). Jason also held onto the Ladies' U.S. tag belts, this time with UZI: Victoria's Secret Angels #2 and #3 (FFL). The Ladies' Tag-team titles fell to his UZI: Trailer Wench Agatha Terrible and Self Loathing Mongoloid Chick (GDL), and then he added Suicidal Fat Chick to the team and won the World Six-woman straps with a 521! Winning the U.S. Six-woman belts were USD: Godzooky, Rachel "The Whale" Huntoon, and Mean Jean Baljean (GDL). They were managed to a perfect 521 total by Jason Battaglia of New York.

 

WORLD TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS

The Smooth One Jeff Manning of Ohio took home this prize of an engraved plaque or 15 free matches, thanks to UZI: Large Lars De Jung and Mighty Max De Jung (DHL)! All 10 teams listed in the rankings had 516 points, as did "Wild Eyed Southern Boy" Casey Smothers and "Too Sexy" Brian Christopher Lawler (MRL), plus FOE: Mr. Rich Randy and Mr. Wealthy William Massacre (BTL).

 

TOP 10 TAG-TEAMS

1. UZI: Large Lars & Mighty Max De Jung (DHL)
2. SE: My Future's Bleak & Losers Sometimes Win (PKL)
3. UZI: Tyrone Spencer & the Hunters Destroyer (WAL)
4. ACE: Punisher Pat & Terminator Todd Apollo (NSL)
5. COT: "The Phenom" Ryan Storm & "Amazing" Nate Sampson (JIL)
6. ACE: Gorgeous George Bush & Tantalizing Tony Blair (TGL)
7. COT: Baddest American Indian Thundersinger 13 & Zeke the Plumber (DIL)
8. UZI: Evil Minions #1 & #2 (CWL)
9. ACE/DM: Elmer Fudd Gantry & Claude Henry Smoot (QPL)
ACE: Vinyl Groove Colossus & Seymour Batts (CSLS)

 

U.S. TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS

After edging out UZI: Danny S. Spivey and "The Ringmaster" Anthony Rodriguez (HAL), ACE: Suicidal Scott Argent and Homicidal Hal Aurum (NSL) secured these titles for Kevin DiFranco of New York! Both teams had a perfect 516 total.

 

WORLD SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS

Just like last time, three teams fought to an unbreakable tie for these titles. The ACE members are managed by Sly Smith of West Virginia. Jason P. Miller of Kansas got UZI its share of the prize. Slash Craven is owned by JaCodi Akers of Kentucky, while Abomination of Desolation and Brimstone Prophet are under contract to Jonathan Akers of Texas. The top nine teams had 521 points!

 

TOP 10 SIX-MAN TEAMS

1. ACE: Tony "The Boss" Black, Toughluck Tommy Brooklyn, Mademan Sonny Fingers (NAL)
UZI: Shaqadelic, Fat Bastid, Goldmember (LBL)
COT: Slash Craven, Abomination of Desolation, Brimstone Prophet (HAL)
4. UZI: "Redneck" Jimmy Riggs, Flying Spaghetti Monster, "Mister Superstar" J.P.M. (HML)
UZI: Evil Minions #1, #2, #3 (CWL)
6. EDGE: "BJ's Towelboy" Tony Fatio, "Crybaby" BJ Prank, Michael Maddness (MOL)
EDGE: The Illustrious Ishtar, Black Knight, Galan Dracos (DZL)
8. A7X: Life Demolished, Flesh Consumed, Soul Skinner (AAL)
9. FOE: Mr. Rich Randy, Mr. Money Mark, Mr. Wealthy William Massacre (BTL)
10. MURDER INC: Paul "The Butcher," "Mad Dog" Maurice Duchaine, Hardcore Tommy Valentine (MRL)

 

U.S. SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS

UZI: Otomis Clyde Frog, Hooked on Phonics Monkey, and Mr. Kitty (LBL), managed by Jason P. Miller of Kansas, had to split these $20,000 purses with stablemates Danny S. Spivey, Travis T. Spivey, and "The Ringmaster" Anthony Rodriguez (HAL), whom Anthony manages from Alabama. Also with a 521 total but losing by point flow was the team of A7X: "Piercing Eyes" Brad Blaine, "Razor Skin" Blaine Bane, and "Iron Blood" Bruce Bane (AAL).

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES

Shown below are the most active leagues for the August cycle, based on the number of matches in each. Moving up from second to first place was the IWA's very first league, the All Star League! The Just Incredible League took ownership of the special two matches for $1 cycle by having the highest average strategy total of all 10 leagues (only active wrestlers were used when determining the average). The LLL barely missed claiming the honor for what would have been its third straight cycle.

1. ASL (1,032 matches) 489.965
2. IDL (1,003 matches) 491.365
3. CSLS (833 matches) 492.787
4. CSLN (791 matches) 493.000
5. UWL (708 matches) 486.333
6. JIL (693 matches) 494.326
7. JEL (651 matches) 488.776
8. CWL (590 matches) 492.744
9. LLL (552 matches) 493.051
10. ABL (543 matches) 491.444

 

TOP 20 VICTORIES

1. "Mr. Powerful" Ken Lambeau (PKL) 6,468-798-127
2. WWW: Mike White Lightning Moore (QPL) 4,006-1,282-235
3. PAIN: Dragon Tzu (AAL) 3,839-1,715-291
4. COT: The Survivor (HAL) 3,739-811-194
5. I-AM: Izzy Stradlin (TGL) 3,687-588-107
6. PAIN: Manitou (AAL) 3,674-1,683-270
7. PAIN: Cougar - WK (AAL) 3,611-1,720-289
8. JL6: The Hooded Inmate (IML) 3,584-738-138
9. USD: Bad Boy Tony (CLL) 3,199-339-96
10. RENEGADE: Eric "The Cobra" Langdon (MIL) 3,194-1,010-137
11. RDI: Super Stud Biff Backhand (ASL) 3,022-677-162
12. SE: Diesel Duddick (NSL) 2,903-142-92
13. DFI: American Freedom Fighter E.J. (SHL) 2,892-558-167
14. Johnny "2 Kold" Koolakowski (LOL) 2,854-129-27
15. ACE: Morbid Minotaur (HTL) 2,771-48-20
16. ROW: Special Agent B.M.F. (JIL) 2,644-796-217
17. NVUS: Macho Man Daniel Savage (CFL) 2,589-701-132
18. S..A..L: Willie Wino (NSL)
CC: Danny Boy O'Day (NSL)
2,535-443-101
2,535-506-135
20. CC: Oliver Shagnasty (NSL) 2,476-525-106

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

IRON FEDERATION: Battling Titans, Center Stage (North and South), Danger Zone, Heart Throb, Imminent Destruction, Iron Man, Mount Olympus, Murder Incorporated, Quick Pin, Southern Pride, Under Fire, Unknown Wrestler

STEEL FEDERATION: Absolute Pain, Caribbean Coast, Devil Inside, Executioner's Axe, Fight Night, Hired Assassin, Intense Impact, King Kong, Mid-Atlantic Region, Pittsburgh Power, Praying Mantis, True Grit, Vicious Valkyries

GOLD FEDERATION: All Star, Battle Royal, Blood Bath, Chicago Legends, Classic Wrestling, Gold Digger, Hit Man, Masked Wrestling, New Millennium, Ninja Dojo, Olympic Gold, Texas Death

DIAMOND FEDERATION: Arm Lock, Axe Blade, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Last Breath, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Wild Kingdom, Xtreme Wrestling

BRONZE FEDERATION: Alter Ego, Coffin Filler, Famous Talent, Gorgeous Amazon, Grim Reaper, Iron Glove, Jagged Edge, Main Event, Mat Mayhem, New York, Trouble Maker, Wild America

JADE FEDERATION: Atomic Age, Dragon's Hoard, Jade Dragon, Just Incredible, Just Rasslin', Kings Court, Lovely Ladies, Prime Time, Psychotic Killer, Super Hero, Thor's Hammer, Total Package, World Wrestling

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