IWA REPORT
Vol. 11, No. 8 -- June 2006
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JOHNNY B SAYS

Fred Simmering of Ohio will soon be a published author! His poem, "Graveyard Suicide," will be featured in the upcoming book entitled A Treasury of American Poetry. This 10-year IWA veteran credits our game with helping him develop his writing skills! We're thrilled that we were able to play a small part in his accomplishment, and wish him continued success in the future.

The IWA, in association with Grindcore Entertainment, is proud to present our newest ladies' league: the Hardcore Women League! This Iron Federation league is reserved for only the most diabolical female wrestlers in the IWA. As such, the champions will receive titles like Queen Extreme Champion, Scratch Fight Champion, and more to be announced. If you think you have a violent beauty, or prefer to bring in a new, sadistic grappler, then don't delay! Create a new wrestler for just $1 or transfer in an existing wrestler for free (during this cycle only). Come to the HWL and meet the true Queens of Extreme!

 

HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES

FOE: Brian Pillman is retiring from the MML this cycle. He built up impressive stats of 1,046-251-44 with $2,922,300 in imaginary money. His manager, Andre Sabucco of Texas, will receive an engraved plaque for his fine leadership!

UKA's Too Sexy Tommy Thunder (1,109-507-98, $3,387,900) and Superstar Scott Travis (1,210-546-100, $3,516,800) of the IGL began their careers more than 10 years ago in the Killer Shark League. The brash tandem known as High Voltage went on to hold over 50 tag-team championships and enjoyed a four-year retirement before returning to the IWA to help UKA win the Big 6 Challenge. The seemingly psychotic Travis and the egotistical Thunder were molded from greats like the Midnight Express in the art of double teaming and pure tag-team wrestling. Engraved plaques go out to their respective Virginian managers, Brandon Bailey and Clint Bailey.

Also entering the Hall of Fame this cycle is two-thirds of the Cemetery Crew. Former King of the Ring and American Champion Caretaker finishes with a record of 1,219-541-137 *26 and $4,511,100 in earnings. His partner and former Gold Federation Champion, Blood Stone, ends his career with stats of 1,073-361-64 *31 and $3,934,700 in the bank. Their manager, Dan Delaney of Ohio, will get 2 plaques for coaching them to greatness!

 

WORLD CHAMPION

Steven M. Shotliff of Minnesota led his wrestler, UKA: Basher (FTL), to the top of the Bronze Federation, then watched as his man's 500-point strategy earned him the IWA World Championship! Steven can now decide between 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt and 50 free matches.

 

U.S. CHAMPION

Using his 499-pointer to turn back all other TV champions, FOH: Giant Japanese Warrior (BBL) was able to secure an engraved plaque or 25 free matches for his manager, Dale Swan, Jr. of Utah. Congratulations on a job well done!

 

KING OF THE RING

Spc. Peter K. Barone of Fort Riley, Kansas managed "Big Handsome" Earl Handsome (IDL) from ringside as all of our battle royal winners competed for this honor. Adding up the values of hold positions 2, 3, 7, 9, 10, 12, 13, and 14 in all of their strategies showed everyone that Earl was truly deserving of the crown. His 272 total won an engraved plaque or 25 free matches for Spc. Barone!

 

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS

Oliver Storz of Germany handily conquered the Iron Federation with CORE: Jonathan Winger (DZL). In the Steel Federation, COT: Gangsta Blood (DIL) picked up the title for himself and 25 free matches for his manager, Chris Stevens of Texas! Taking home the Gold was ILL: Yankee Black Mamba (BRL). The Smooth One Jeff Manning of Ohio coached him to a 499. Sharing the $40,000 imaginary prize in the Diamond Federation were FDC: Citizen V (NFL), managed by Michael Pachniak, and FDC: Keith, King of Bandits (FJL), owned by Jonathan Kiczula (both from Illinois). Their wrestlers edged out stablemate Denny Crane (WKL). Basher took the Bronze title with his 500 total, then traded it in for the World belt. Jason P. Miller of Kansas led USD: Mumm-ra (DHL) to victory in the Jade, using point flow against stablemate Killer Kyle Broslovski (PTL), plus DYNASTY: The Dynasty Giant (SHL) and TRI-ME: "The Devious One" D.S. (PKL).

 

NATIONAL CHAMPION, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS

ILL: Toxic Flesh (NDL) and ILL: Released (NDL) ended in an unbreakable tie for the National honors after winning the Atlantic and Mountain regions, respectively. Both had 499 points, and both are managed by Scott Bernes of Ohio! He can choose either an engraved plaque or 25 free matches as his prize. Taking the remaining regions were...

Central: MOD: Hot Rod Nick Aronis (AEL)
managed by Bruce Thomas of Pennsylvania
Dixie: HS: Irish Mickey Mulholland (MIL)
edged out Basket Case (ASL) so Scott K. Olson of Arizona could retain custody of this belt
Eastern: FOH: Sumo Sasaki (BBL)
managed by Dale Swan, Jr. of Utah; edged COT: Gangsta Game (DIL)
Northern: MOD: American Steel (SFL)
owned by Bruce Thomas
Pacific: ILL: XD Beast (NDL)
managed by Scott Bernes; beat MW: Leviathan "Lucifer" Sourceall (ASL) by point flow
Prairie: FDC/RDI: Blackjack Sullivan (ASL)
this gamble paid off for Tim Northern of Arkansas
Southern: AOE/LEGACY: "Dangerous" Dick Stapleton (BRL)
property of Dale Swan, Jr.
Western: UKA/MWC: Joe Dirt (FTL)
owned by Steven M. Shotliff of Minnesota

 

LADIES' TITLES

ILL: Spiffy Tiffany from Queen City (GDL) used her 499 total to win the Ladies' World Championship and its accompanying engraved plaque or 15 free matches for the Smooth One Jeff Manning of Ohio! Luke Fletcher of Georgia's FDC: Diamond Blaze (GAL) went home with the Queen of the Ring crown, and nearly took the Ladies' National title, as well, but USD: Suicidal Fat Chick (GDL) edged her out. She's managed by Jason P. Miller of Kansas, who teamed her up with stablemates Trailer Wench Agatha Terrible and Self Loathing Mongoloid Chick to win the World Six-woman straps. USD: Your Grandma (GDL), who also answers to Jason, won the Ladies' U.S. belt. Jason held onto the Ladies' tag titles, this time using USD: Your Sister and Your Mom from the FFL. He ended his reign of domination by leading USD: Victoria's Secret Angels #2 and #3 (FFL) to the Ladies' U.S. tag championships! Gaining the U.S. Six-woman belts were COT: Ruby Soho, Strawberry Fields, and Venus Diablo (GDL). All three are managed by Jonathan Akers of Texas!

 

WORLD TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS

Jason P. Miller of Kansas must decide if he wants an engraved plaque or 15 free matches, since his team of USD: Orion Supreme and Maximus Supreme (GRL) defeated all competitors for these titles. They had 516 points, as did Basket Case and Mental Case (ASL). Nice work!

 

TOP 10 TAG-TEAMS

1. USD: Orion & Maximus Supreme (GRL)
2. Basket & Mental Case (ASL)
3. FOH: Giant Japanese Warrior & Sumo Sasaki (BBL)
4. UKA: "Mr. Minnesota" Olaf Gustavson & Wayne "the Train" Bloom (QPL)
5. USD: Rushing Richard Seymour & Diet Pepsi Machine (NFL)
6. TRI-ME: "The Fiend" M.J. & "The Mafioso" M.C. (BRL)
7. WWW: Gorku the Giant Armadillo & the Wiley Crustacean (WAL)
8. 501: Best in the Business & Risk (ALL)
9. Ross "The Boss" Williams & Handsome B. Handsome (IDL)
10. TRI-ME: "The Infamous" M.P. & "The Usual Suspect" Z.M. (JIL)

 

U.S. TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS

USD: Mr. Hardcore and Gangsta Dre (GRL) added $20,000 to their bank accounts by outperforming all other TV tag champions. Anthony Rodriguez of Alabama should be very proud of his team -- and himself!

 

WORLD SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS

The fight for these belts ended in another unbreakable, three-way draw. Scott "LoneWolf" Lowe of Missouri coached himself and Overdrive, while Kevin Kolodiej of Maryland managed their partner, ACE: Naproxen. The USD team from the HTL belongs to Gregg Boyle of Maryland. Jason P. Miller of Kansas let Evil Minions #1, #2, and #3 do his dirty work. The top five teams listed had 521 points!

 

TOP 10 SIX-MAN TEAMS

1. Scott "LoneWolf" Lowe, Overdrive, ACE: Naproxen (NAL)
USD: Willy "The Chocolate Lover" Wonka, Davon "Can't Miss a Dumpster" Fulla, Bry-Bry (HTL)
USD: Evil Minions #1, #2, #3 (CWL)
4. LB: Bodacious Brad Blaze, Saxe Gotha, Jake the Hammer Muldoon (ECL)
5. Mind Ripper, Basket Case, Mental Case (ASL)
6. KOI: "The Truth" Brandon Vera, "Pit Bull" Andrei Arlovski, "The Snowman" Jeff Monson (IGL)
7. HS: Just Delicious Jason Carlisle, Gorgeous Johnny Mack, Babyface Brad Monroe (BRL)
8. HS: Young Guns Clint Rhodes, Sean Masters, Stan Steel (NFL)
USD: Delirium, Tribulation, Blackest Hell (CLL)
10. WWW: Gorku the Giant Armadillo, the Wiley Crustacean, Jiu-Jitsu Jaguar Ruas (WAL)

 

U.S. SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS

Pocketing $20,000 apiece for these belts were USD: Mastermind M., Showstopper P., and Pimp Daddy J. (LOL). Jason P. Miller of Kansas used his managerial skills to get them a perfect 521 total!

 

TOP 10 LEAGUES

Shown below are the most active leagues for the May cycle, going by the number of matches. The Unknown Wrestler League retained its first place spot once again! Listed beside each league is its average strategy total (using active wrestlers only). The Lovely Ladies League won the two matches for $1 cycle by the slimmest of margins over the ASL, with former winner DIL nipping at their heels.

1. UWL (1,008 matches) 480.389
2. IDL (970 matches) 475.000
3. JIL (857 matches) 486.720
4. MRL (721 matches) 482.870
5. ASL (676 matches) 487.359
6. BBL (616 matches) 482.534
7. FJL (607 matches) 443.386
8. EAL (561 matches) 461.484
9. DIL (538 matches) 486.936
10. LLL (517 matches) 487.486

 

TOP 20 VICTORIES

1. "Mr. Powerful" Ken Lambeau (PKL) 6,215-788-125
2. WWW: Mike White Lightning Moore (QPL) 3,959-1,267-233
3. PAIN: Dragon Tzu (AAL) 3,772-1,685-285
4. COT: The Survivor (HAL) 3,738-807-194
5. I-AM: Izzy Stradlin (TGL) 3,661-584-106
6. PAIN: Manitou (AAL) 3,620-1,660-261
7. PAIN: Cougar - WK (AAL) 3,547-1,686-283
8. JL6: The Hooded Inmate (IML) 3,499-720-137
9. RENEGADE: Eric "The Cobra" Langdon (MIL) 3,025-977-129
10. WYD: Super Stud Biff Backhand (ASL) 2,921-654-157
11. BEST: Bad Boy Tony (CLL) 2,858-322-94
12. DC: Diesel Duddick (NSL) 2,852-140-90
13. DFI: American Freedom Fighter E.J. (SHL) 2,808-539-165
14. AMD: Morbid Minotaur (HTL) 2,771-47-20
15. Johnny "2 Kold" Koolakowski (LOL) 2,636-125-27
16. ROW: Special Agent B.M.F. (JIL) 2,562-773-202
17. NVUS: Macho Man Daniel Savage (CFL) 2,519-675-128
18. AMD: Llucky Llarry Llewellyn (ASL) 2,426-124-25
19. CD: Kael Bloodblade (NAL) 2,401-627-140
20. BETRAYAL: Venom (NYL) 2,398-599-120

 

LIST OF LEAGUES

IRON FEDERATION: Battling Titans, Center Stage (North and South), Danger Zone, Heart Throb, Imminent Destruction, Iron Man, Mount Olympus, Murder Incorporated, Northern Lights, Quick Pin, Southern Pride, Under Fire, Unknown Wrestler

STEEL FEDERATION: Caribbean Coast, Devil Inside, Executioner's Axe, Fight Night, Hired Assassin, Intense Impact, King Kong, Mid-Atlantic Region, Pittsburgh Power, Praying Mantis, True Grit, Vicious Valkyries

GOLD FEDERATION: All Star, Battle Royal, Blood Bath, Chicago Legends, Classic Wrestling, Gold Digger, Hit Man, New Millennium, Ninja Dojo, Olympic Gold, Screaming Fear, Texas Death

DIAMOND FEDERATION: Arm Lock, Axe Blade, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Last Breath, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Wild Kingdom, Xtreme Wrestling

BRONZE FEDERATION: Alter Ego, Coffin Filler, Famous Talent, Gorgeous Amazon, Grim Reaper, Iron Glove, Mat Mayhem, New York, Trouble Maker, Wild America

JADE FEDERATION: Atomic Age, Dragon's Hoard, Jade Dragon, Just Incredible, Just Rasslin', Kings Court, Lovely Ladies, Prime Time, Psychotic Killer, Super Hero, Total Package, World Wrestling

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