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INTENSE IMPACT LEAGUE

BULLETIN #313 -- MARCH 2023

Card 1: Held in Fort Knox (Attendance: 11,177)

EDGE: "Iron" Mike Lung pinned Mr. Scrub at 2:46 (Stunner) by 123 (non-title).
SOS: "Wrestling Demon" Sex decked NME: Yellow Ninja at 29:13 (Cook's EDGE) by 5.
EDGE: "Iron" Mike Lung beat The Llamanator at 0:48 (Cross-Armbar) by 107 (non-title).
NME: Brown Ninja defeated SOS: "Wrestling Demon" Sex at 27:00 (Stunner) by 3.
EDGE: "Headliner" Bad News Frown won over EDGE: Temperate Thomas at 29:49 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 4.
EDGE: "Iron" Mike Lung bested Tommy D. Mandel at 4:06 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 123 (non-title).
NME: Brown Ninja decked ZOO: White Elephant Sr. at 29:22 (Stunner) by 5 (non-title).
Main event: NME: Brown Ninja beat EDGE: "Iron" Mike Lung at 37:55 (Stunner) by 1.

Card 2: Held in Bangkok (Attendance: 19,913)

SOS: Bronze Champ Mike Cook over Mr. Scrub at 4:22 (Disqualification: refused to break choke).
NME: Yellow Ninja outmuscled EDGE: "Real American" Pat R. Iot at 27:28 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 3.
SOS: Bronze Champ Mike Cook destroyed The Llamanator at 3:27 (Palm Strike) by 100.
EDGE: "The Closer" August Jamb bested EDGE: "Queen City" Char Lot at 27:53 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 5.
EDGE: Temperate Thomas tied EDGE: "No Quit" Alex P. (Time Limit).
EDGE: "Iron" Mike Lung bested Horatio the Insane at 1:48 (Palm Strike) by 90 (non-title).
NME: Brown Ninja destroyed SOS: Mike "The SISOShammer" Cook at 29:37 (Stunner) by 3 (Commissioner's Choice).
Main event: NME: Brown Ninja beat EDGE: Manic Matthew Anderson at 46:48 (Stunner) by 5.

Card 3: Held in Aruba (Attendance: 17,545)

NME: Yellow Ninja pinned Poncho Marx at 2:22 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 104.
EDGE: Savage Scott Harper defeated NME: Yellow Ninja at 27:11 (Susie Q) by 4.
EDGE: "Iron" Mike Lung pinned Gracious G. Henderson at 1:30 (Cross-Armbar) by 88 (non-title).
EDGE: Savage Scott Harper destroyed EDGE: "Heroic" Chris Hero at 27:39 (Susie Q) by 4.
Wuhan title: NME: Jacknife decked EDGE: Temperate Thomas at 28:46 (Stunner) by 5.

SOS: Bronze Champ Mike Cook decked Tommy D. Mandel at 1:07 (Hammerlock) by 123.
NME: Brown Ninja overpowered SOS: "The LeJeNd" Haz Bro at 27:52 (Stunner) by 1.
Main event: NME: Brown Ninja destroyed NME: Yellow Ninja at 27:09 (Stunner) by 8.

Card 4: Held in Aguascalientes (Attendance: 14,536)

EDGE: "Iron" Mike Lung won over Poncho Marx at 4:36 (Cross-Armbar) by 106 (non-title).
Armed Forces title: EDGE: Hooligan C. Bass pinned NME: Yellow Ninja at 24:36 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 8.

SOS: Bronze Champ Mike Cook pinned Gracious G. Henderson at 6:12 (Palm Strike) by 81.
EDGE: "Iron" Mike Lung destroyed "Mr. Certain" Victor E. at 1:58 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 148 (non-title).
SOS: Mike "The SISOShammer" Cook destroyed EDGE: Temperate Thomas at 28:30 (Cook's EDGE) by 2.
SOS: Bronze Champ Mike Cook destroyed Horatio the Insane at 1:40 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 92.
SOS/BAC: Mike "Series Winner" Cook won over NME: Brown Ninja at 28:22 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 5 (non-title).
Main event: NME: Brown Ninja beat EDGE: Temperate Thomas at 52:07 (Stunner) by 5.

Card 5: Held in Oshkosh (Attendance: 18,840)

SOS: Bronze Champ Mike Cook bested Poncho Marx at 3:21 (Palm Strike) by 99.
ZOO: Red River Valley Express II decked NME: Yellow Ninja at 16:14 (Forearm Smash) by 7.
EDGE: "Evil Genius" Buster Breaker outmuscled EDGE: "Barb" E. Q. Sauce at 16:16 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 10 (non-title).
SOS: Bronze Champ Mike Cook destroyed "Mr. Certain" Victor E. at 2:53 (Superplex) by 132.
EDGE: "The Closer" August Jamb decked EDGE: Hamilton P. Sandwich at 28:01 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 4.
TBZ: Silver Panda outmuscled EDGE: Jesse Pinkerton at 23:54 (Susie Q) by 7.
NME: Brown Ninja beat SOS/BAC: "Imaginary Legend" Mike Cook at 29:01 (Stunner) by 2.
Main event: NME: Jacknife drew NME: Brown Ninja at 38:20 (Double Count Out).

Card 6: Held in Quebec (Attendance: 8,981)

EDGE: "Iron" Mike Lung pinned Sky Sprinter at 7:32 (Cross-Armbar) by 64 (non-title).
ZOO: Red River Valley Express III annihilated NME: Yellow Ninja at 27:03 (Powerbomb) by 2.
EDGE: "Evil Genius" Buster Breaker tied TBZ: Silver Panda at 4:03 (Double Disqualification).
NME: Rampage beat EDGE: Manic Matthew Anderson at 27:41 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 5.
Amateur United title: NME: Rampage outmuscled EDGE: "The Closer" August Jamb at 27:33 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 2.

NME: Jacknife won over EDGE: Jesse Pinkerton at 18:11 (Stunner) by 6.
NME: Brown Ninja bested ZOO: Krusher at 28:49 (Stunner) by 5 (non-title).
Main event: SOS/BAC: Mike "Series Winner" Cook beat NME: Brown Ninja at 46:27 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 5.

Card 7: Held in Austin (Attendance: 13,144)

SOS: Bronze Champ Mike Cook won over Sky Sprinter at 2:22 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 111.
TBZ: Silver Panda destroyed EDGE: Chilly McFreeze at 29:19 (Susie Q) by 4.
Victorian title: EDGE: "Evil Genius" Buster Breaker decked NME: Jacknife at 27:13 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 1.

All Japan title: NME: Brown Ninja bested EDGE: Manic Matthew Anderson at 29:18 (Stunner) by 5.

EDGE: Savage Scott Harper outmuscled EDGE: "Real American" Pat R. Iot at 19:44 (Susie Q) by 7.
TBZ: Silver Panda bested EDGE: "Mr. Blunderful" Paul Horndorff at 18:31 (Susie Q) by 8.
NME: Orange Ninja* and Brown Ninja won over ZOO: Red River Valley Express II* and Red River Valley Express III at 16:35 (Stunner) by 14.
Main event: SOS/BAC: Mike "Series Winner" Cook destroyed SOS: Mountain Champ Mike Cook at 46:01 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 3.

Card 8: Held in Luna (Attendance: 17,482)

EDGE: "Iron" Mike Lung overpowered Goldylox at 0:51 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 122 (non-title).
SOS: Mountain Champ Mike Cook bested EDGE: Chilly McFreeze at 27:10 (Cook's EDGE) by 5.
SOS: "Wrestling Demon" Ego destroyed EDGE: Manic Matthew Anderson at 27:13 (Cook's EDGE) by 5.
EDGE: Landon "Turbo" Tiger destroyed EDGE: "Barb" E. Q. Sauce at 29:17 (DDT) by 3.
EDGE: "Iron" Mike Lung overpowered Chuck "the Obtuse" Angle at 1:00 (Boston Crab) by 151 (non-title).
SOS: Mountain Champ Mike Cook overpowered EDGE: "Mr. Blunderful" Paul Horndorff at 24:52 (Cook's EDGE) by 9 (Guest Referee: Girly Man).
Universal Tag titles: NME: Rampage* and Brown Ninja annihilated EDGE: Angelic Kitty Cat* and SOS: National Champ Mike Cook at 28:06 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 5.

Main event: SOS/BAC: Mike "Series Winner" Cook overpowered EDGE: "Barb" E. Q. Sauce at 22:34 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 14.

Card 9: Held in Alberta (Attendance: 12,114)

SOS: Bronze Champ Mike Cook destroyed Goldylox at 1:04 (Hammerlock) by 122.
SOS/BAC: Mike "Series Winner" Cook annihilated EDGE: Chilly McFreeze at 16:38 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 8.
SOS: "Wrestling Demon" Ego tied NME: Brown Ninja (Time Limit).
Latin American title: TBZ: Silver Panda beat EDGE: "Barb" E. Q. Sauce at 16:50 (Susie Q) by 10.

SOS: Bronze Champ Mike Cook decked Chuck "the Obtuse" Angle at 0:20 (DDT) by 147.
SOS: "SOSEDGE BRO" Mike beat EDGE: "Mr. Blunderful" Paul Horndorff at 27:00 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 3 (Commissioner's Choice, International #1 Contend).
All Japan Tag titles: EDGE: Angelic Kitty Cat* and SOS: National Champ Mike Cook won over ZOO: Red River Valley Express II* and Red River Valley Express III at 15:29 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 10.

Main event: SOS/BAC: Mike "Series Winner" Cook decked EDGE: Angelic Kitty Cat at 58:45 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 5.

Card 10: Held in Athens (Attendance: 16,072)

EDGE: "Iron" Mike Lung over Junkboy at 7:24 (Disqualification: used powder) (non-title).
EDGE: Angelic Kitty Cat annihilated EDGE: Lucky Lloyd Swanson at 28:52 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 3.
EDGE: "Iron" Mike Lung overpowered "Beastly" Bernie Brogan at 7:21 (Cross-Armbar) by 61 (non-title).
SOS: Mountain Champ Mike Cook destroyed EDGE: "Barb" E. Q. Sauce at 19:34 (Cook's EDGE) by 11 (non-title).
TBZ: Silver Panda won over EDGE: Savage Scott Harper at 27:04 (Susie Q) by 5 (non-title).
SOS/BAC: Mike "Series Winner" Cook outmuscled EDGE: "Mr. Blunderful" Paul Horndorff at 16:53 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 12.
NME: Rampage* and Brown Ninja won over ZOO: Red River Valley Express II* and Red River Valley Express III at 11:11 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 15.
Main event: SOS/BAC: Mike "Series Winner" Cook beat EDGE: Savage Scott Harper at 26:28 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 9 (Guest Referee: EDGE: "Heroic" Chris Hero).

Card 11: Held in Mayberry (Attendance: 7,726)

NME: Brown Ninja defeated Junkboy at 2:33 (Camel Clutch) by 84 (non-title).
Independent title: EDGE: Lucky Lloyd Swanson bested EDGE: Savage Scott Harper at 28:30 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 1.

SOS: Bronze Champ Mike Cook destroyed "Beastly" Bernie Brogan at 6:42 (Palm Strike) by 54.
SOS: "The LeJeNd" Haz Bro defeated EDGE: "Barb" E. Q. Sauce at 23:43 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 8.
EDGE: Savage Scott Harper destroyed SOS: "SOSEDGE BRO" Brad at 29:58 (Susie Q) by 2.
TBZ: Silver Panda drew SOS: "IWA Investigator" Bill Shoe at 4:17 (Double Count Out).
NME: Yellow Ninja*, Orange Ninja, and Brown Ninja pinned ZOO: White Elephant Sr., Panda I*, and Krusher at 18:36 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 13.
Main event: SOS/BAC: Mike "Series Winner" Cook won over EDGE: "The Closer" August Jamb at 40:55 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 7.

Card 12: Held in Dothan (Attendance: 11,743)

SOS: Bronze Champ Mike Cook defeated Junkboy at 6:16 (Backbreaker) by 78.
NME: Orange Ninja beat EDGE: Temperate Thomas at 27:43 (Stunner) by 4.
EDGE: "Iron" Mike Lung pinned "Hardly the Worst" Samuel Best at 2:50 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 108 (non-title).
SOS: Bronze Champ Mike Cook overpowered EDGE: "Barb" E. Q. Sauce at 29:35 (Cook's EDGE) by 2.
EDGE: Savage Scott Harper annihilated SOS: Mike "* Collector" Cook at 29:37 (Susie Q) by 3.
TBZ: Silver Panda annihilated SOS: "SOSEDGE BRO" Mike at 29:28 (Susie Q) by 5.
Continental Six-man titles: EDGE: "Queen City" Char Lot*, Rabid Robert Anderson, and SOS: Math Jackson overpowered ZOO: White Elephant Sr., Panda I*, and Krusher at 12:41 (Boston Crab) by 20.

Main event: SOS/BAC: Mike "Series Winner" Cook won over EDGE: Jesse Pinkerton at 28:21 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 11 (Commissioner's Choice).

Card 13: Held in Cleveland (Attendance: 10,167)

EDGE: "Iron" Mike Lung defeated Scrubber Bot at 4:40 (Cross-Armbar) by 63 (non-title).
NME: Orange Ninja outmuscled ZOO: Panda II at 27:02 (Stunner) by 2.
NME: Jacknife pinned "Hardly the Worst" Samuel Best at 1:13 (Stunner) by 146.
EDGE: "Barb" E. Q. Sauce annihilated NME: Roadrunner Rick Rage at 27:31 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 2.
Continental Premier title: SOS: "Wrestling Demon" Money destroyed NME: Brown Ninja at 28:46 (Who? Bomb) by 3.

TBZ: Silver Panda won over SOS: Mike "The SISOShammer" Cook at 27:41 (Susie Q) by 4.
EDGE: "Heroic" Chris Hero*, "The Lurker" Danny Fontana, and SOS: Bronze Champ Mike Cook annihilated EDGE: Hamilton P. Sandwich, Rabid Robert Anderson, and SOS: "SOSEDGE BRO" Brad* at 27:58 (Boston Crab) by 4.
Main event: SOS/BAC: Mike "Series Winner" Cook defeated SOS: "Wrestling Demon" Money at 50:30 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 2.

Card 14: Held in Columbia (Attendance: 12,454)

SOS: Bronze Champ Mike Cook annihilated Scrubber Bot at 7:58 (Palm Strike) by 56.
NME: Orange Ninja destroyed ZOO: Panda I at 16:53 (Stunner) by 6.
SOS: Bronze Champ Mike Cook over "Hardly the Worst" Samuel Best at 1:49 (Disqualification: refused to break choke).
EDGE: Angelic Kitty Cat won over EDGE: "Headliner" Bad News Frown at 28:20 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 1.
SOS: Mountain Champ Mike Cook overpowered EDGE: Hooligan C. Bass at 29:36 (Cook's EDGE) by 2.
TBZ: Silver Panda decked SOS/BAC: Northern Champ Mike Cook at 23:38 (Susie Q) by 8.
EDGE: "Heroic" Chris Hero, "The Lurker" Danny Fontana*, and SOS: Bronze Champ Mike Cook decked ZOO: White Elephant Sr.*, Panda I, and Krusher at 23:25 (Superplex) by 10.
Main event: SOS/BAC: Mike "Series Winner" Cook bested SOS: "Masked Wrestler" Mike Cook at 41:06 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 5.

Card 15: Held in Wheeling (Attendance: 12,110)

EDGE: "Iron" Mike Lung bested El Scrubbo at 3:32 (Cross-Armbar) by 83 (non-title).
SOS/BAC: Mike "Series Winner" Cook pinned NME: Orange Ninja at 18:18 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 6.
EDGE: "Iron" Mike Lung defeated The Wrestlemaniac at 4:10 (Shoulder Breaker) by 60 (non-title).
EDGE: Angelic Kitty Cat outmuscled EDGE: "No Quit" Alex P. at 29:10 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 5.
EDGE: "The Closer" August Jamb decked SOS: Doomtrigger at 29:51 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 3.
SOS: "Masked Wrestler" Mike Cook drew NME: Brown Ninja at 5:10 (No Contest).
Universal Six-man titles: EDGE: Landon "Turbo" Tiger, SOS: Doomtrigger, and Mike "* Collector" Cook* outmuscled EDGE: Hamilton P. Sandwich, Rabid Robert Anderson, and SOS: "SOSEDGE BRO" Brad* at 20:02 (Cook's EDGE) by 8.

Main event: SOS/BAC: Mike "Series Winner" Cook bested SOS/BAC: "Imaginary Legend" Mike Cook at 20:07 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 7.

Card 16: Held in Montreal (Attendance: 12,813)

SOS: Bronze Champ Mike Cook outmuscled El Scrubbo at 4:56 (Palm Strike) by 76.
EDGE: Manic Matthew Anderson defeated EDGE: Rapid Ray Hurley at 28:01 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 5.
SOS: Bronze Champ Mike Cook destroyed The Wrestlemaniac at 4:04 (Crescent Kick) by 55.
EDGE: Angelic Kitty Cat outmuscled EDGE: "The Lurker" Danny Fontana at 15:54 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 11.
EDGE: "The Closer" August Jamb outmuscled SOS: "SOSEDGE BRO" Mike at 27:49 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 2 (Commissioner's Choice).
SOS: "IWA Investigator" Bill Shoe decked NME: Jacknife at 28:10 (Case Break) by 1.
EDGE: Hamilton P. Sandwich, Rabid Robert Anderson, and SOS: "SOSEDGE BRO" Brad* decked ZOO: White Elephant Sr., Panda I*, and Krusher at 18:37 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 9 (Guest Referee: SOS: "Wrestling Demon" Ego).
Main event: SOS/BAC: Mike "Series Winner" Cook bested SOS/CHAMP: US Champ Mike Cook at 51:07 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 4.

Card 17: Held in Orlando (Attendance: 14,849)

EDGE: "Iron" Mike Lung outmuscled The Challenger at 3:58 (Cross-Armbar) by 100 (non-title).
EDGE: "The Closer" August Jamb beat EDGE: Rapid Ray Hurley at 20:05 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 8.
EDGE: "Iron" Mike Lung beat "Mr. Manly" Hugh Mann at 4:01 (Palm Strike) by 105 (non-title).
EDGE: Angelic Kitty Cat annihilated SOS: National Champ Mike Cook at 28:57 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 2.
SOS/BAC: Mike "Series Winner" Cook annihilated EDGE: "The Closer" August Jamb at 19:47 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 7 (non-title).
SOS: "IWA Investigator" Bill Shoe beat NME: Brown Ninja at 28:45 (Case Break) by 1.
EDGE: Landon "Turbo" Tiger, SOS: Doomtrigger, and Mike "* Collector" Cook* pinned ZOO: White Elephant Sr., Panda I*, and Krusher at 7:01 (Cook's EDGE) by 17.

Card 18: Held in Calais (Attendance: 17,359)

SOS: Bronze Champ Mike Cook bested The Challenger at 4:46 (Palm Strike) by 93.
EDGE: Dependable Dave Pronto beat EDGE: "Barb" E. Q. Sauce at 29:56 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 5.
SOS: Bronze Champ Mike Cook overpowered "Mr. Manly" Hugh Mann at 0:24 (DDT) by 152.
EDGE: Angelic Kitty Cat drew NME: Brown Ninja at 2:51 (Double Disqualification).
TBZ: Silver Panda outmuscled EDGE: Rabid Robert Anderson at 19:08 (Susie Q) by 7.
SOS: Mountain Champ Mike Cook beat NME: Brown Ninja at 28:45 (Cook's EDGE) by 2.

Card 19: Held in Opa-locka (Attendance: 17,245)

EDGE: "Iron" Mike Lung pinned Daren Facelift at 3:34 (Cross-Armbar) by 89 (non-title).
TBZ: Silver Panda won over EDGE: Dependable Dave Pronto at 29:46 (Susie Q) by 5.
EDGE: "Iron" Mike Lung beat Glass Jaw Louie at 2:56 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 137 (non-title).
EDGE: Angelic Kitty Cat pinned SOS: Math Jackson at 29:10 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 5.
SOS: Mountain Champ Mike Cook decked EDGE: Rabid Robert Anderson at 22:41 (Cook's EDGE) by 8.
SOS/CHAMP: US Champ Mike Cook beat NME: Brown Ninja at 28:00 (Cook's EDGE) by 1.

Card 20: Held in Moscow (Attendance: 11,134)

SOS: Bronze Champ Mike Cook won over Daren Facelift at 4:30 (Palm Strike) by 82.
NME: Jacknife annihilated EDGE: Dependable Dave Pronto at 29:11 (Stunner) by 4.
SOS: Bronze Champ Mike Cook defeated Glass Jaw Louie at 1:32 (Hammerlock) by 137.
EDGE: Angelic Kitty Cat decked NME: Roadrunner Rick Rage at 10:47 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 11.
SOS/BAC: Mike "Series Winner" Cook beat EDGE: Rabid Robert Anderson at 19:20 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 11 (Commissioner's Choice).
NME: Jacknife annihilated SOS/BAC: Northern Champ Mike Cook at 19:37 (Stunner) by 7.

Battle Royal: Held in Greensboro (Attendance: 6,219)

NME: Brown Ninja picked up $1,000 when TBZ: Silver Panda threw him outside the ring.
EDGE: "Iron" Mike Lung took a cool $1,100 when NME: Jacknife flipped him onto the concrete floor.
TBZ: Silver Panda won $1,200 after he was thrown out of the ring by NME: Jacknife.
NME: Orange Ninja picked up $1,300 after NME: Jacknife threw him onto the steps.
NME: Jacknife was the winner of the IIL battle royal and the $30,000 purse.

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