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HIRED ASSASSIN LEAGUE |
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| BULLETIN #122 -- WINTER 2026 |
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| Card 1: Held in Liverpool (Attendance: 6,988) |
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COT: Mammoth Machine decked Stink Boy in 11 at 2:59 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 102.
COT: Mammoth Machine beat Frank N. Stein in 6 at 2:52 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 66.
COT: Mammoth Machine over Foreman Frank in 2 at 27:43 (Disqualification: pushed ref).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay bested Mike Taylor in 6 at 2:33 (Headbutt) by 110.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay defeated Dandy Davis in 6 at 2:06 (Headbutt) by 93.
EDGE: 976-EVIL pinned COT: Super Ghost Machine at 22:28 (Evil Calls) by 6.
IMT/47: We Are In This Together, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th* bested Martin Dean, "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker, and Charlie Ford* in 9 at 5:02 (Headbutt) by 82.
Main event: EDGE: 976-EVIL won over COT: Order Machine at 55:05 (Evil Calls) by 2 (Guest Referee: Killmonger). |
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| Card 2: Held in Hiroshima (Attendance: 5,107) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay pinned Stink Boy in 9 at 6:57 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 76.
COT: Mammoth Machine pinned Frank's Friend Kyle in 6 at 3:20 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 72.
COT: Mammoth Machine overpowered Gold Bond in 6 at 3:42 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 54.
COT: Mammoth Machine bested Fred Brown in 6 at 2:32 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 131.
COT: Mammoth Machine destroyed Outlaw Ben Slick in 6 at 1:49 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 87.
COT: Jurassic Machine decked EDGE: 976-EVIL at 29:34 (Jurassic Jawbuster) by 3.
IMT/47: We Are In This Together*, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th bested COT: Shadow Machine, Jurassic Machine*, and Mammoth Machine in 8 at 19:03 (Headbutt) by 10.
Main event: EDGE: 976-EVIL bested COT: Super Ghost Machine at 45:38 (Evil Calls) by 6. |
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| Card 3: Held in Boise (Attendance: 2,736) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay destroyed Stink Man in 10 at 1:32 (Back Elbow Smash) by 106.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay pinned Frank's Friend Kyle in 6 at 4:29 (Headbutt) by 75.
COT: Mammoth Machine pinned Mountain Man in 6 at 5:14 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 96.
COT: Order Machine destroyed Fred Brown in 6 at 0:31 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 131 (non-title).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay decked Outlaw Ben Slick in 6 at 2:32 (Headbutt) by 90.
EDGE: 976-EVIL overpowered COT: Mammoth Machine at 27:38 (Evil Calls) by 4.
Main event: EDGE: 976-EVIL bested Æ: "Under Contract" Max Holloway at 28:49 (Evil Calls) by 2 (Guest Referee: Train Hopper). |
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| Card 4: Held in Nairobi (Attendance: 8,901) |
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COT: Mammoth Machine beat Bob in 6 at 2:06 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 83.
COT: Mammoth Machine overpowered Al the Hacksaw at 1:17 (Mammoth Headbutt) by 151.
COT: Mammoth Machine beat Herald Hark in 6 at 0:43 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 118.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay overpowered Fred Brown in 6 at 1:36 (Headbutt) by 134.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane beat COT: Mammoth Machine at 15:07 (RV is Toast) by 10 (non-title).
IMT/47: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th outmuscled COT: Mammoth Machine at 29:02 (12th Booster) by 2 (Guest Referee: Mr. 1-2-3).
Main event: EDGE: 976-EVIL bested COT: Mammoth Machine at 43:08 (Evil Calls) by 4. |
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| Card 5: Held in Calais (Attendance: 5,522) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay outmuscled Bob in 6 at 2:00 (Headbutt) by 86.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay defeated Al the Hacksaw in 7 at 4:07 (Ankle Lock) by 88.
COT: Mammoth Machine annihilated Coldstone Carlton in 6 at 1:19 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 103.
EDGE: 976-EVIL won over Fred Brown in 6 at 0:36 (Headbutt) by 134 (non-title).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane beat EDGE: 976-EVIL at 19:06 (RV is Toast) by 6 (non-title).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay destroyed EDGE: 976-EVIL at 27:59 (Pimp Slap) by 4.
Main event: EDGE: 976-EVIL destroyed IMT/47: The New Normal at 51:09 (Evil Calls) by 1. |
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| Card 6: Held in Milan (Attendance: 3,122) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay outmuscled Wally Brick at 2:52 (Pimp Slap) by 141.
COT: Mammoth Machine won over Rollercoaster Randy at 4:17 (Mammoth Headbutt) by 104.
Southwest title: COT/MULES: Roosevelt Gunns defeated Æ: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 16:43 (Fireside Chat) by 6.
COT: Mammoth Machine won over Duffy Wolfe in 6 at 3:25 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 104.
Central Plains title: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux annihilated COT: Super Ghost Machine at 15:11 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 8.
EDGE: 976-EVIL won over EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle at 28:30 (Evil Calls) by 1.
Main event: IMT/47: We Are In This Together won over EDGE: 976-EVIL at 50:35 (The Cycle of Death) by 4. |
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| Card 7: Held in Paradise (Attendance: 2,884) |
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COT: Mammoth Machine annihilated Martin Dean in 11 at 0:16 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 166.
COT: Mammoth Machine bested K-Dog at 0:59 (Mammoth Headbutt) by 132.
EDGE: 976-EVIL outmuscled Æ: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 28:18 (Evil Calls) by 2 (Guest Referee: Bob).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay bested Duffy Wolfe in 6 at 3:34 (Headbutt) by 107.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux bested EDGE: 976-EVIL at 28:01 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 2 (Guest Referee: Peter Lawler).
IMT/47: We Are In This Together destroyed EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle at 29:25 (The Cycle of Death) by 5.
Main event: IMT/47: We Are In This Together overpowered IMT/47: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 17:16 (The Cycle of Death) by 6. |
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| Card 8: Held in Watts (Attendance: 7,165) |
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COT: Mammoth Machine beat The Fishy Fisherman in 6 at 2:45 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 62.
COT: Mammoth Machine over Hilarity in 1 at 13:25 (Disqualification: used steel chair).
COT: Mammoth Machine annihilated Peter Lawler in 6 at 4:23 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 104.
COT: Mammoth Machine pinned Curt Gold in 6 at 2:41 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 85.
Mid-Atlantic title: COT: Glass City Assassin Bedlam annihilated IMT/47: The New Normal at 29:54 (Bedlam Bomb) by 4.
IMT/47: We Are In This Together bested EDGE: 976-EVIL at 27:53 (The Cycle of Death) by 4.
Main event: IMT/47: We Are In This Together outmuscled Æ: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 37:22 (The Cycle of Death) by 12. |
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| Card 9: Held in East Chicago (Attendance: 5,124) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay over The Fishy Fisherman in 3 at 4:07 (Disqualification: used belt to hit opponent).
COT: Mammoth Machine over Evil Evan in 5 at 10:02 (Disqualification: nail file).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay beat Peter Lawler in 6 at 3:06 (Headbutt) by 107.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay destroyed Curt Gold in 6 at 6:12 (Headbutt) by 88.
IMT/47: We Are In This Together overpowered COT: Glass City Assassin Havoc at 27:14 (The Cycle of Death) by 3.
EDGE: 976-EVIL beat IMT/47: The New Normal at 28:25 (Evil Calls) by 1.
Main event: IMT/47: We Are In This Together destroyed COT: Shadow Machine at 40:26 (The Cycle of Death) by 8. |
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| Card 10: Held in Baton Rouge (Attendance: 9,692) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay annihilated Neil B. Formee in 6 at 4:56 (Headbutt) by 71.
Æ: "Under Contract" BJ Penn won over EDGE: 976-EVIL at 27:49 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 4.
COT: Mammoth Machine destroyed Jimmy Roth in 6 at 2:46 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 72.
COT: Mammoth Machine bested Charlie Ford in 6 at 1:58 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 113.
COT/MULES: "Big Money" Amillion Buggs won over IMT/47: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 29:49 (Freshman Dreams) by 4.
EDGE: 976-EVIL outmuscled IMT/47: Flatten the Curve at 14:15 (Evil Calls) by 22.
Main event: IMT/47: We Are In This Together bested Æ: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 25:07 (The Cycle of Death) by 6. |
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| Card 11: Held in Harrisburg (Attendance: 2,371) |
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COT: Mammoth Machine defeated "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker in 9 at 2:21 (Ankle Lock) by 127.
Pacific Northwest title: Æ: "Under Contract" BJ Penn beat IMT/47: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 17:28 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 6.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay won over Jimmy Roth in 6 at 4:26 (Headbutt) by 75.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay outmuscled Charlie Ford in 6 at 2:20 (Headbutt) by 116.
COT/MULES: Malcolm "Formerly Known as Twitter" won over Æ: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 17:18 (The Movement) by 8.
TV title: Æ: Hammer overpowered EDGE: 976-EVIL at 29:23 (Hammered) by 5.
Main event: Æ: Hammer annihilated IMT/47: We Are In This Together at 57:22 (Hammered) by 1. |
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| Card 12: Held in Manhattan (Attendance: 3,644) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay destroyed "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker in 9 at 1:16 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 132.
COT: Glass City Assassin Delirium bested Æ: "Under Contract" Max Holloway at 29:54 (Land of Delusion) by 3.
COT: Mammoth Machine destroyed Steve Shields in 6 at 1:59 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 126.
COT: Mammoth Machine over Dr. Blank in 1 at 19:37 (Count Out).
EDGE: 976-EVIL decked COT: Shadow Machine at 28:26 (Evil Calls) by 4 (non-title).
COT: Chaos Machine pinned EDGE: 976-EVIL at 29:21 (Chaos Theory) by 2 (Guest Referee: King of Second Street).
Main event: Æ: Hammer destroyed EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 52:10 (Hammered) by 3. |
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| Card 13: Held in Gary (Attendance: 3,192) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay over The Greater Cheese Grater in 2 at 7:43 (Disqualification: hidden spike).
East Coast title: EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay destroyed Æ: "Under Contract" Max Holloway at 20:59 (Pimp Slap) by 6.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay outmuscled Steve Shields in 6 at 0:25 (Headbutt) by 129.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay over Dr. Blank in 1 at 7:07 (Count Out).
Rocky Mountains title: EDGE: 976-EVIL annihilated Æ: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 24:59 (Evil Calls) by 8 (cage).
TV Tag-team titles: IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones* and Flatten the Curve outmuscled Fred Brown and Outlaw Ben Slick* in 6 at 4:29 (Headbutt) by 88.
Main event: Æ: Hammer pinned EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 30:31 (Hammered) by 1. |
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| Card 14: Held in Little Rock (Attendance: 1,019) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay overpowered "Clever" Cliff Cleaver in 6 at 5:36 (Headbutt) by 65.
EDGE: 976-EVIL won over Æ: "Under Contract" Max Holloway at 27:08 (Evil Calls) by 2 (Guest Referee: SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume).
COT: Mammoth Machine won over Phil Dukes in 6 at 3:56 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 89.
COT: Mammoth Machine decked Tim McCormick in 6 at 2:24 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 93.
EDGE: 976-EVIL outmuscled IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 28:03 (Evil Calls) by 5.
COT: Jurassic Machine* and Chaos Machine annihilated Fred Brown and Outlaw Ben Slick* in 6 at 6:02 (Headbutt) by 94.
Main event: EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane decked Æ: Hammer at 46:10 (RV is Toast) by 1. |
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| Card 15: Held in Memphis (Attendance: 7,144) |
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COT: Mammoth Machine defeated Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings in 6 at 5:27 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 72.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers overpowered EDGE: 976-EVIL at 28:09 (The Preppy Killer) by 1.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay won over Phil Dukes in 6 at 1:37 (Headbutt) by 92.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay won over Tim McCormick in 6 at 2:17 (Headbutt) by 96.
Great Lakes title: Æ: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre annihilated COT: Mammoth Machine at 17:13 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 7.
COT: Jurassic Machine* and Chaos Machine destroyed Duffy Wolfe and Tim McCormick* in 6 at 3:27 (Headbutt) by 86.
Main event: EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane pinned EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 55:17 (RV is Toast) by 5. |
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| Card 16: Held in Bombay (Attendance: 1,578) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay destroyed Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings in 6 at 2:44 (Headbutt) by 75.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers destroyed IMT/47: The New Normal at 27:19 (The Preppy Killer) by 2 (Guest Referee: Moose).
COT: Mammoth Machine decked Mike Taylor in 6 at 2:15 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 107.
COT: Mammoth Machine destroyed Dandy Davis in 6 at 4:45 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 90.
IMT/47: We Are In This Together won over Æ: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 28:36 (The Cycle of Death) by 1.
League Tag-team titles: COT: Jurassic Machine* and Chaos Machine outmuscled IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones* and Flatten the Curve at 22:07 (Prehistoric Eye Gouge) by 6.
Main event: EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane destroyed IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 10:26 (RV is Toast) by 11. |
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| Battle Royal: Held in Staten Island (Attendance: 7,169) |
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Æ: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva snatched $1,000 when COT: Mammoth Machine flung him out.
Æ: "Under Contract" BJ Penn earned $1,100 when he was catapulted onto the concrete floor by COT: Jurassic Machine.
COT: Super Ghost Machine won $1,200 after COT: Mammoth Machine threw him into his manager at ringside.
COT: Shadow Machine earned $1,300 when he got flung onto the steps by Æ: Hammer.
COT: Order Machine was given $1,400 when he was thrown out of the ring by COT: Jurassic Machine.
COT: Chaos Machine and COT: Mammoth Machine got $1,500 and $1,600, respectively, when COT: Jurassic Machine tossed them both out of the ring.
COT: Jurassic Machine picked up $1,700 after Æ: Hammer threw him onto the announcer's table.
Æ: Hammer was the winner of the battle royal and the $30,000 prize. |
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