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HIRED ASSASSIN LEAGUE |
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BULLETIN #102 -- NOVEMBER 2024 |
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Card 1: Held in Brooklyn (Attendance: 3,110) |
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CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway overpowered Stink Boy in 9 at 2:59 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 83 (non-title). SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume pinned CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 29:47 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 2 (non-title, ladder). SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume decked SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 27:39 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 2. CURE: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson pinned SOS/SIENAMART: Siena Martin at 28:41 (Brainbuster) by 1. The Apex Predator outmuscled He-Man Most Powerful Man in the Universe at 29:01 (The Predator) by 2 (belt on a pole). IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones* and Flatten the Curve won over COT: Shadow Machine and Jurassic Machine* at 28:55 (Baiting Alligators) by 4. Main event: CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway decked SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume at 40:12 (Brainbuster) by 2. |
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Card 2: Held in Elrodville (Attendance: 6,531) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay over Stink Boy in 2 at 8:28 (Count Out). CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn outmuscled SOS/SIENAMART: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar at 29:59 (Superplex) by 2. SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume overpowered SOS/SIENAMART: Siena Martin at 29:55 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 5 (non-title). Mid-Atlantic title: EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay annihilated SOS/SIENAMART: Siena Martin at 27:04 (Pimp Slap) by 5. CURE: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva decked Flex Lewis in 7 at 1:39 (Flying Dropkick) by 101. IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones* and Flatten the Curve won over COT: Order Machine and Chaos Machine* at 29:20 (Baiting Alligators) by 5. Main event: CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway outmuscled SOS/SIENAMART: Deathmatch Danielle from HR at 53:34 (Brainbuster) by 5. |
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Card 3: Held in Hyde Park (Attendance: 5,273) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay overpowered Stink Man in 12 at 4:40 (DDT) by 123. SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume won over EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 29:17 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 5 (non-title). SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume overpowered CURE: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 28:52 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 4. IMT/47: The New Normal decked SOS/SIENAMART: Siena Martin at 27:05 (Diversity Submission) by 2. CURE: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva bested IMT/47: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 29:49 (Brainbuster) by 2. Jason Voorhees, EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux*, and He-Man Most Powerful Man in the Universe destroyed FREEDOM FUNZION: Jeremy "Kane" Potvin, The Apex Predator*, and Flex Lewis in 6 at 10:50 (Crescent Kick) by 25. Main event: CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway beat EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 36:10 (Brainbuster) by 5. |
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Card 4: Held in Pasadena (Attendance: 7,838) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay defeated Bob in 6 at 1:55 (Crescent Kick) by 87. CURE: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson beat EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 28:56 (Brainbuster) by 1. SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume beat EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 28:44 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 3 (non-title). EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay defeated Peter Lawler in 6 at 5:01 (Crescent Kick) by 85. EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay defeated Professor Wrassle in 6 at 3:06 (Crescent Kick) by 105. IMT/47: We Are In This Together*, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th decked COT: Super Ghost Machine, Jurassic Machine*, and Mammoth Machine at 16:47 (Mandatory Volunteer Jab) by 6. Main event: CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway overpowered EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 38:45 (Brainbuster) by 7. |
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Card 5: Held in Mission (Attendance: 7,977) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay won over Wally Brick at 2:30 (Pimp Slap) by 140. Great Lakes title: IMT/47: We Are In This Together pinned EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 27:04 (Mandatory Volunteer Jab) by 2. SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume beat EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 18:45 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 9. EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay bested Jimmy Roth in 6 at 6:36 (Crescent Kick) by 89. EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay annihilated Henry O. in 6 at 2:31 (Crescent Kick) by 133. Main event: CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway outmuscled SOS/SIENAMART: Siena Martin at 39:33 (Brainbuster) by 7. |
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Card 6: Held in East Chicago (Attendance: 4,927) |
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SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume beat Martin Dean in 11 at 1:34 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 143 (non-title). SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer destroyed FREEDOM FUNZION: Mike Adams "The Canada Giant" at 0:31 (Cradle to the Grave) by 174 (no ref). TV title: IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones beat SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume at 27:16 (Baiting Alligators) by 2. EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay overpowered Steve Shields in 6 at 0:55 (Crescent Kick) by 122. Rocky Mountains title: IMT/47: Flatten the Curve bested CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 12:05 (Eat Bugs Like Gates Says) by 15. Main event: CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway outmuscled IMT/47: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 27:57 (Brainbuster) by 7. |
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Card 7: Held in Gary (Attendance: 8,198) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay beat Martin Dean in 11 at 2:09 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 139. FREEDOM FUNZION: Jeremy "Kane" Potvin beat Jason Voorhees at 9:17 (The Potvin Driver) by 23. SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume beat CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 13:10 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 14 (non-title). EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay defeated Phil Dukes in 6 at 5:03 (Crescent Kick) by 91. Pacific Northwest title: CURE: Hammer beat COT: Super Ghost Machine at 29:46 (Hammered) by 1. Main event: CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway overpowered COT: Super Ghost Machine at 52:19 (Brainbuster) by 1. |
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Card 8: Held in Boise (Attendance: 7,144) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay overpowered The Fishy Fisherman in 6 at 2:51 (Crescent Kick) by 65. IMT/47: We Are In This Together overpowered Jason Voorhees at 2:17 (Mandatory Volunteer Jab) by 98. COT: Super Ghost Machine bested SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume at 27:27 (Devil Windmill Superplex) by 1. EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay annihilated Mike Taylor in 6 at 1:54 (Crescent Kick) by 124. COT: Order Machine decked EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle at 29:31 (Order of Magnitude) by 3. Main event: CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway pinned CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre in 11 at 11:34 (Cobra Clutch) by 15. |
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Card 9: Held in Donegal (Attendance: 4,067) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay overpowered Bruce Vanquish in 6 at 7:29 (Crescent Kick) by 23. IMT/47: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th over FREEDOM FUNZION: Jeremy "Kane" Potvin in 7 at 1:23 (Count Out). SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume won over COT: Jurassic Machine at 28:28 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 2. EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay defeated Fred Brown in 6 at 1:01 (Crescent Kick) by 125. Northeast title: EDGE: 976-EVIL outmuscled IMT/47: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 29:04 (Evil Calls) by 3. Main event: CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway pinned EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle at 30:04 (Brainbuster) by 9. |
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Card 10: Held in Barcelona (Attendance: 7,588) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay beat Neil B. Formee in 6 at 5:41 (Crescent Kick) by 57. Central Plains title: SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume pinned SOS/SIENAMART: Deathmatch Danielle from HR at 29:48 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 3. COT: Mammoth Machine decked SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume at 27:11 (Mammoth Headbutt) by 3 (non-title). EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay annihilated Duffy Wolfe in 6 at 2:23 (Crescent Kick) by 99. CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn and "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson* over Stink Boy* and Bob in 2 at 29:29 (Count Out). Main event: CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway annihilated SOS/SIENAMART: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge at 45:05 (Brainbuster) by 1. |
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Card 11: Held in Bern (Attendance: 9,872) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay over "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker in 2 at 1:55 (Count Out). SOS/SIENAMART: Deathmatch Danielle from HR bested EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 15:56 (Shatter with Reesemart Light Tube) by 6. SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume drew EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay (Time Limit). EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay won over Curt Gold in 6 at 2:02 (Crescent Kick) by 85. TV Tag-team titles: COT: Shadow Machine and Jurassic Machine* outmuscled Martin Dean* and Fred Brown in 11 at 2:32 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 140. Main event: CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway beat CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 45:36 (Brainbuster) by 4. |
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Card 12: Held in Fort Worth (Attendance: 7,239) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay over The Greater Cheese Grater in 2 at 0:53 (Count Out). SOS/SIENAMART: Deathmatch Danielle from HR drew CURE: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 29:54 (Double Disqualification). SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume defeated EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle at 24:07 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 7 (non-title). EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay overpowered Charlie Ford in 6 at 2:46 (Crescent Kick) by 103. IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones* and Flatten the Curve decked Martin Dean* and Fred Brown in 6 at 3:49 (Flying Dropkick) by 80. Main event: COT: Mammoth Machine decked CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway at 44:21 (Mammoth Headbutt) by 1. |
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Card 13: Held in San Francisco (Attendance: 7,264) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay won over "Clever" Cliff Cleaver in 14 at 1:07 (Superplex) by 141. SOS/SIENAMART: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge defeated SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume at 29:37 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 1. SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume overpowered EDGE: 976-EVIL at 29:59 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 2. EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay destroyed Dr. Blank in 6 at 2:58 (Crescent Kick) by 106. COT: Order Machine and Chaos Machine* overpowered Martin Dean* and Fred Brown in 11 at 0:43 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 139. Main event: COT: Mammoth Machine outmuscled EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 11:48 (Mammoth Headbutt) by 12. |
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Card 14: Held in Paradise (Attendance: 2,769) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay pinned Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings in 6 at 6:33 (Crescent Kick) by 66. SOS/SIENAMART: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge tied COT: Shadow Machine at 6:23 (Double Disqualification). SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume outmuscled IMT/47: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 29:38 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 5 (non-title). EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay annihilated Tim McCormick in 6 at 3:12 (Crescent Kick) by 87. MiG-15 "Falcon"* drew FREEDOM FUNZION: Mike Adams "The Canada Giant" and SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer* at 3:49 (Double Disqualification) (handicap, no ref). Main event: COT: Mammoth Machine beat EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 52:56 (Mammoth Headbutt) by 3. |
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Card 15: Held in Laramie (Attendance: 4,264) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay over Frank's Friend Kyle in 2 at 28:10 (Disqualification: refused to break choke). CURE: Hammer destroyed SOS/SIENAMART: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge at 28:27 (Hammered) by 1 (non-title). SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume tied COT: Chaos Machine (Time Limit). EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay bested Dandy Davis in 6 at 2:57 (Crescent Kick) by 87. IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones* and Flatten the Curve decked FREEDOM FUNZION: Mike Adams "The Canada Giant"* and Jeremy "Kane" Potvin in 6 at 5:43 (Flying Dropkick) by 31. Main event: COT: Mammoth Machine bested SOS/SIENAMART: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar at 43:44 (Mammoth Headbutt) by 7. |
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Card 16: Held in Birmingham (Attendance: 6,397) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay pinned Al the Hacksaw at 2:46 (Pimp Slap) by 152. SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume decked SOS/SIENAMART: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar at 28:23 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 4. Southeast title: SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly overpowered EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle at 27:08 (Bear Hug) by 5. EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay won over Outlaw Ben Slick in 6 at 4:47 (Crescent Kick) by 105. COT: Order Machine and Chaos Machine* overpowered Jason Voorhees* and He-Man Most Powerful Man in the Universe in 11 at 5:47 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 45. Main event: COT: Mammoth Machine pinned SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 55:27 (Mammoth Headbutt) by 5. |
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Interleague Matches |
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Nathan De Asha (GCL) pinned The Apex Predator (HAL) in 6 at 3:05 (Bodyslam) by 54. FREEDOM FUNZION: Jeremy "Kane" Potvin (HAL) annihilated TheNewFreebirds: Samson (GCL) at 8:02 (The Potvin Driver) by 36. TheNewFreebirds: "The Golden 1" Potvin (GCL) over He-Man Most Powerful Man in the Universe (HAL) in 6 at 7:46 (disqualification - hit ref). |
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Battle Royal: Held in Lisbon (Attendance: 3,971) |
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CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre made $1,000 after being flipped into the audience by CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway. CURE: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson grabbed $1,100 when he was flipped out by EDGE: 976-EVIL. CURE: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva took home $1,200 after he got flipped onto the apron by CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn and EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux. EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux collected $1,300 when he was flipped onto the apron by EDGE: 976-EVIL and EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane. EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle was paid $1,400 after he got catapulted between the ropes by CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn. CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn picked up $1,500 after he was flipped onto the concrete floor by EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers. EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers got $1,600 after he was thrown into his manager at ringside by CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway. EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane took $1,700 after being thrown out of the ring by EDGE: 976-EVIL. EDGE: 976-EVIL took $1,800 when CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway flung him between the ropes. EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay was given $1,900 after being flipped out of the ring by CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway. CURE: Hammer received a cool $2,000 after CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway tossed him onto the announcer's table. CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway was the winner of the battle royal and the $40,000 purse. |
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