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HIRED ASSASSIN LEAGUE |
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| BULLETIN #82 -- FALL 2023 |
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| Card 1: Held in Kokomo (Attendance: 10,821) |
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EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers bested Stink Boy at 4:36 (Backbreaker) by 96.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers won over "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker at 2:18 (Mounted Punches) by 130.
NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn annihilated SOS/OMR: Nigerian Nightmare at 27:47 (Camel Clutch) by 5.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers pinned IMT/AR15: The New Normal at 27:14 (The Preppy Killer) by 1 (Guest Referee: Lefty O'Hooligan).
HT/REESEMART: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman destroyed Fred Brown at 1:55 (Back Elbow Smash) by 133.
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer won over Duffy Wolfe at 3:49 (Palm Strike) by 115.
SOS/OMR: American Psycho decked COT: Shadow Machine at 28:09 (Torture Rack) by 4.
IMT/AR15: Flatten the Curve destroyed IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 10:00 (Wuhan Flu Clutch) by 11.
Main event: NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn outmuscled EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 59:41 (Camel Clutch) by 2. |
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| Card 2: Held in Las Vegas (Attendance: 14,859) |
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HT/REESEMART: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman over Stink Boy at 6:32 (Disqualification: tied opponent up).
HT/REESEMART: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman defeated "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker at 1:49 (Mounted Punches) by 132.
NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn destroyed SOS/OMR: Irish Hand Grenade at 27:09 (Camel Clutch) by 3.
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer won over HT/REESEMART: Deathmatch Danielle from HR at 20:23 (Cradle to the Grave) by 7.
HT/REESEMART: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman won over Duffy Wolfe at 3:46 (Back Elbow Smash) by 113.
COT: Super Ghost Machine won over Duffy Wolfe at 1:09 (Crescent Kick) by 110.
NME: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva drew SOS/OMR: Irish Hand Grenade at 0:20 (Double Count Out).
IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together* and The New Normal decked The Greater Cheese Grater* and Mike Taylor at 1:16 (Stay Home Save Lives) by 116.
Main event: SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer defeated NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 49:35 (Cradle to the Grave) by 6. |
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| Card 3: Held in Manhattan (Attendance: 20,953) |
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SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer pinned Stink Boy at 3:42 (Ankle Lock) by 71.
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer defeated "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker at 1:09 (Ankle Lock) by 133.
NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn outmuscled COT: Super Ghost Machine at 27:33 (Camel Clutch) by 4.
HT/REESEMART: Deathmatch Danielle from HR tied SOS/OMR: American Psycho at 7:37 (No Contest).
HT/REESEMART: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman annihilated Curt Gold at 4:15 (Back Elbow Smash) by 91.
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer outmuscled Curt Gold at 1:59 (Palm Strike) by 93.
NME: Red Checker tied SOS/OMR: American Psycho at 8:02 (Double Disqualification).
IMT/AR15: Elrodhausen* and Flatten the Curve bested COT: Shadow Machine and Super Ghost Machine* at 19:13 (Last Hold Hausen) by 8.
Main event: SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer overpowered IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together at 37:18 (Cradle to the Grave) by 11. |
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| Card 4: Held in Echo (Attendance: 23,823) |
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COT: Super Ghost Machine over Stink Boy at 6:56 (Disqualification: nail file).
COT: Super Ghost Machine pinned "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker at 2:25 (Headbutt) by 123.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay pinned NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 28:51 (Pimp Slap) by 2.
HT/REESEMART: Deathmatch Danielle from HR decked IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together at 27:29 (Shatter with Reesemart Light Tube) by 4.
HT/REESEMART: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman destroyed Charlie Ford at 5:32 (Back Elbow Smash) by 90.
COT: Super Ghost Machine outmuscled Curt Gold at 3:27 (Crescent Kick) by 88.
NME: Black Checker overpowered EDGE: 976-EVIL at 23:21 (Camel Clutch) by 6.
IMT/AR15: Elrodhausen* and Flatten the Curve outmuscled NME: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva and "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre* at 28:53 (Last Hold Hausen) by 2.
Main event: SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer beat IMT/AR15: The New Normal at 30:46 (Cradle to the Grave) by 12. |
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| Card 5: Held in Cancun (Attendance: 18,298) |
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EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers pinned Stink Man at 3:18 (DDT) by 113.
NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn defeated The Greater Cheese Grater at 0:48 (Camel Clutch) by 126 (non-title).
NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn outmuscled NME: The King at 28:07 (Camel Clutch) by 2.
Flex Powersnap beat HT/REESEMART: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge at 23:26 (Powersurge) by 6.
HT/REESEMART: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman annihilated Dr. Blank at 2:32 (Back Elbow Smash) by 93.
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer won over Charlie Ford at 6:03 (Palm Strike) by 92.
SOS/OMR: Nigerian Nightmare defeated IMT/AR15: The New Normal at 29:51 (Nightmare Spear) by 1 (Guest Referee: Zee Strangler).
TV Tag-team titles: NME: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva and "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre* overpowered COT: Order Machine and Chaos Machine* at 14:06 (Crescent Kick) by 12.
Main event: SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer overpowered IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 26:21 (Cradle to the Grave) by 15. |
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| Card 6: Held in Montpelier (Attendance: 19,474) |
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COT: Super Ghost Machine over Stink Man at 15:17 (Count Out).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers won over The Greater Cheese Grater at 1:18 (The Preppy Killer) by 121.
NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn defeated SOS/OMR: American Psycho at 29:54 (Camel Clutch) by 1 (Guest Referee: Phil Dukes).
HT/REESEMART: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge drew SOS/OMR: Irish Hand Grenade at 1:38 (Double Disqualification).
HT/REESEMART: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman bested Tim McCormick at 3:21 (Back Elbow Smash) by 102.
COT: Super Ghost Machine over Charlie Ford at 6:18 (Count Out).
SOS/OMR: Demolition Man bested SOS/OMR: Irish Hand Grenade at 22:26 (Exploder) by 8 (non-title).
IMT/AR15: Elrodhausen* and Flatten the Curve annihilated COT: Jurassic Machine and Mammoth Machine* at 28:35 (Last Hold Hausen) by 2.
Main event: SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer pinned EDGE: 976-EVIL at 33:19 (Cradle to the Grave) by 11. |
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| Card 7: Held in Matamoros (Attendance: 10,826) |
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EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers over Bob at 1:10 (Count Out).
COT: Super Ghost Machine over The Greater Cheese Grater at 11:42 (Count Out).
NME: The Queen annihilated NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 29:52 (Camel Clutch) by 2.
NME: The King bested HT/REESEMART: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge at 27:34 (Camel Clutch) by 1 (Guest Referee: "Martial Arts Marsupial" Kangafu).
HT/REESEMART: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman destroyed Dandy Davis at 5:36 (Back Elbow Smash) by 79.
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer won over Dr. Blank at 5:06 (Palm Strike) by 95.
Mid-Atlantic title: SOS/OMR: Demolition Man pinned IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 18:58 (Exploder) by 14.
IMT/AR15: Elrodhausen* and Flatten the Curve destroyed COT: Order Machine and Chaos Machine* at 15:12 (Last Hold Hausen) by 10.
Main event: SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer outmuscled NME: The Queen at 32:57 (Cradle to the Grave) by 4. |
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| Card 8: Held in Houston (Attendance: 13,170) |
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HT/REESEMART: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman destroyed Bob at 6:22 (Back Elbow Smash) by 75.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers outmuscled "Clever" Cliff Cleaver at 0:55 (Flying Dropkick) by 109.
NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn destroyed EDGE: 976-EVIL at 29:08 (Camel Clutch) by 5.
NME: The Queen defeated HT/REESEMART: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge at 28:37 (Camel Clutch) by 5.
HT/REESEMART: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman bested Outlaw Ben Slick at 4:01 (Back Elbow Smash) by 107.
COT: Super Ghost Machine decked Dr. Blank at 3:38 (Crescent Kick) by 90.
SOS/OMR: Irish Hand Grenade bested COT: Super Ghost Machine at 27:30 (Click Click Boom) by 1 (Guest Referee: Moose).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay, IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together*, and The New Normal outmuscled Martin Dean*, "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker, and Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings at 6:34 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 62.
Main event: SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer won over SOS/OMR: Irish Hand Grenade at 31:28 (Cradle to the Grave) by 9. |
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| Card 9: Held in Paradise (Attendance: 17,836) |
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SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer defeated Bob at 5:23 (Palm Strike) by 77.
COT: Super Ghost Machine bested "Clever" Cliff Cleaver at 2:13 (Devil Windmill Superplex) by 126.
NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn outmuscled IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together at 27:46 (Camel Clutch) by 5.
HT/REESEMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume overpowered EDGE: 976-EVIL at 29:41 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 5 (non-title).
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer defeated HT/REESEMART: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman at 29:47 (Cradle to the Grave) by 5.
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer won over Tim McCormick at 2:39 (Palm Strike) by 104.
SOS/OMR: Irish Hand Grenade beat COT: Order Machine at 27:24 (Click Click Boom) by 4.
LOTR: Atomic Punk, Violator, and Painkiller* defeated IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together*, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 18:35 (Delirium) by 13.
Main event: SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer destroyed Flex Powersnap at 59:53 (Cradle to the Grave) by 3. |
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| Card 10: Held in Copenhagen (Attendance: 24,236) |
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COT: Super Ghost Machine destroyed Bob at 5:36 (Crescent Kick) by 72.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers destroyed Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings at 4:18 (Ankle Lock) by 107.
IMT/AR15: Flatten the Curve bested NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 28:02 (Wuhan Flu Clutch) by 2.
HT/REESEMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume beat IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together at 27:58 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 5.
East Coast title: HT/REESEMART: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman won over IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together at 24:14 (Hammerlock) by 10.
COT: Super Ghost Machine annihilated Tim McCormick at 6:13 (Crescent Kick) by 99.
SOS/OMR: Irish Hand Grenade overpowered EDGE: 976-EVIL at 28:56 (Click Click Boom) by 2.
Main event: SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer bested NME: The King at 37:40 (Cradle to the Grave) by 8. |
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| Card 11: Held in Donegal (Attendance: 14,263) |
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EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers won over Wally Brick at 4:39 (Back Elbow Smash) by 87.
HT/REESEMART: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman won over Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings at 5:51 (Back Elbow Smash) by 68.
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer won over NME: "Under Contract" Max Holloway at 16:23 (Cradle to the Grave) by 7.
Great Lakes title: HT/REESEMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume overpowered IMT/AR15: The New Normal at 17:58 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 6.
HT/REESEMART: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman defeated IMT/AR15: The New Normal at 23:14 (Crushing High Prices) by 7 (non-title).
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer overpowered Dandy Davis at 1:36 (Palm Strike) by 81.
SOS/OMR: American Psycho destroyed NME: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 28:01 (Torture Rack) by 1 (Guest Referee: Kevlar "Ghost" Warner).
Main event: SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer outmuscled SOS/OMR: American Psycho at 15:08 (Cradle to the Grave) by 7. |
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| Card 12: Held in Boston (Attendance: 19,214) |
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COT: Super Ghost Machine won over Wally Brick at 4:40 (Crescent Kick) by 88.
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer pinned Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings at 2:19 (Back Elbow Smash) by 113.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers over Peter Lawler at 23:35 (Count Out).
HT/REESEMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume annihilated IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 17:18 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 9 (non-title).
NME: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson pinned IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 18:31 (Superplex) by 11.
COT: Super Ghost Machine won over Dandy Davis at 4:05 (Crescent Kick) by 76.
NME: The King bested COT: Super Ghost Machine at 21:44 (Palm Strike) by 10.
Main event: NME: Hammer drew SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer at 8:45 (Double Count Out). |
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| Card 13: Held in Hazzard County (Attendance: 11,522) |
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EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers overpowered Martin Dean at 2:57 (The Preppy Killer) by 144.
COT: Super Ghost Machine beat Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings at 2:43 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 104.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers overpowered Jimmy Roth at 6:01 (Back Elbow Smash) by 80.
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer destroyed HT/REESEMART: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar at 29:05 (Cradle to the Grave) by 4.
NME: The Rook tied Flex Powersnap (Time Limit).
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer decked Outlaw Ben Slick at 4:41 (Palm Strike) by 109.
SOS/OMR: American Psycho defeated COT: Super Ghost Machine at 29:37 (Torture Rack) by 3.
Main event: SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer won over EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 40:56 (Cradle to the Grave) by 4. |
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| Card 14: Held in Pittsburgh (Attendance: 12,918) |
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HT/REESEMART: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman won over Martin Dean at 1:57 (Crushing High Prices) by 150.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers beat Frank's Friend Kyle at 1:11 (The Preppy Killer) by 121.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers destroyed Steve Shields at 4:37 (Back Elbow Smash) by 104.
Flex Powersnap destroyed HT/REESEMART: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar at 29:03 (Powersurge) by 1 (Guest Referee: Al the Hacksaw).
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer won over Peter Lawler at 2:23 (Palm Strike) by 102.
COT: Super Ghost Machine destroyed Outlaw Ben Slick at 1:51 (Crescent Kick) by 104.
NME: The Queen overpowered COT: Super Ghost Machine at 18:00 (Palm Strike) by 10.
Main event: SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer pinned EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 31:22 (Cradle to the Grave) by 7. |
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| Card 15: Held in Jericho (Attendance: 20,514) |
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LOTR: Atomic Punk pinned Martin Dean at 1:57 (Ground Zero) by 144.
HT/REESEMART: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman beat Frank's Friend Kyle at 6:06 (Back Elbow Smash) by 71.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers decked Phil Dukes at 4:23 (Back Elbow Smash) by 74.
Southwest title: HT/REESEMART: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar destroyed NME: The King at 28:17 (Bonk with Reesemart Skillet) by 4.
COT: Super Ghost Machine over Peter Lawler at 6:23 (Disqualification: loaded elbow pad).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane pinned IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together at 27:40 (RV is Toast) by 4.
COT: Super Ghost Machine outmuscled EDGE: 976-EVIL at 28:40 (Devil Windmill Superplex) by 1 (Guest Referee: IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together).
Main event: SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer won over EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 19:35 (Cradle to the Grave) by 11. |
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| Card 16: Held in Columbus (Attendance: 24,303) |
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LOTR: Violator beat Martin Dean at 0:42 (Stunner) by 143.
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer won over Frank's Friend Kyle at 2:43 (Palm Strike) by 73.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers decked Mike Taylor at 0:33 (Back Elbow Smash) by 116.
HT/REESEMART: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar overpowered SOS/OMR: American Psycho at 27:26 (Bonk with Reesemart Skillet) by 3 (non-title).
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer annihilated Jimmy Roth at 3:02 (Palm Strike) by 86.
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer defeated Flex Powersnap at 28:02 (Cradle to the Grave) by 3 (non-title).
COT: Super Ghost Machine decked IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together at 27:52 (Devil Windmill Superplex) by 1 (Guest Referee: Coldstone Carlton).
Main event: SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer beat IMT/AR15: Elrodhausen at 34:45 (Cradle to the Grave) by 3. |
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| Card 17: Held in Ravenna (Attendance: 18,446) |
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EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux defeated Martin Dean at 2:51 (Stunner) by 142 (non-title).
COT: Super Ghost Machine over Frank's Friend Kyle at 4:47 (Disqualification: used belt to hit opponent).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers beat Fred Brown at 1:22 (Back Elbow Smash) by 129.
Rocky Mountains title: HT/REESEMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly decked SOS/OMR: Irish Hand Grenade at 28:58 (Superplex) by 4.
COT: Super Ghost Machine bested Jimmy Roth at 5:54 (Crescent Kick) by 81.
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer annihilated COT: Super Ghost Machine at 22:37 (Cradle to the Grave) by 10.
COT: Super Ghost Machine annihilated IMT/AR15: The New Normal at 29:46 (Devil Windmill Superplex) by 2. |
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| Card 18: Held in Brideshead (Attendance: 12,902) |
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SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer won over Martin Dean at 1:57 (Palm Strike) by 86.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers overpowered Al the Hacksaw at 5:45 (Back Elbow Smash) by 70.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers destroyed Duffy Wolfe at 1:31 (Back Elbow Smash) by 109.
NME: The Queen outmuscled HT/REESEMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 29:18 (Camel Clutch) by 2.
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer overpowered Steve Shields at 3:31 (Palm Strike) by 110.
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer beat EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 28:33 (Cradle to the Grave) by 4.
COT: Super Ghost Machine beat IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 27:44 (Devil Windmill Superplex) by 5. |
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| Card 19: Held in Windsor (Attendance: 18,740) |
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LOTR: Painkiller annihilated Martin Dean at 2:31 (Delirium) by 147.
COT: Super Ghost Machine destroyed Al the Hacksaw at 5:21 (Back Elbow Smash) by 89.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers annihilated Curt Gold at 2:37 (Back Elbow Smash) by 87.
HT/REESEMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly annihilated EDGE: 976-EVIL at 29:38 (Bear Hug) by 5.
COT: Super Ghost Machine over Steve Shields at 6:13 (Count Out).
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer bested IMT/AR15: The New Normal at 10:52 (Cradle to the Grave) by 12 (non-title).
COT: Jurassic Machine defeated NME: The King at 28:49 (Jurassic Jawbuster) by 3. |
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| Card 20: Held in Talladega (Attendance: 11,122) |
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COT: Super Ghost Machine outmuscled Martin Dean at 0:22 (Devil Windmill Superplex) by 145.
NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn beat EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 27:12 (Camel Clutch) by 5.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers over Charlie Ford at 5:20 (Count Out).
HT/REESEMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly outmuscled IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 24:46 (Bear Hug) by 9.
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer beat Phil Dukes at 5:47 (Palm Strike) by 80.
"Short Order" Nash Slinger overpowered IMT/AR15: The New Normal at 27:35 (The Five Second Rule) by 4.
NME: The Queen won over SOS/OMR: American Psycho at 27:16 (Camel Clutch) by 3 (non-title). |
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| Card 21: Held in Staten Island (Attendance: 13,489) |
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EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers outmuscled The Fishy Fisherman at 2:51 (Ankle Lock) by 103.
NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn outmuscled EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 27:20 (Camel Clutch) by 1 (Guest Referee: Neil B. Formee).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers destroyed Dr. Blank at 4:43 (Back Elbow Smash) by 89.
HT/REESEMART: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman outmuscled Peter Lawler at 2:16 (Back Elbow Smash) by 100.
COT: Super Ghost Machine decked Phil Dukes at 3:26 (Crescent Kick) by 75.
SOS/OMR: War Machine defeated IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together at 29:12 (Art of War) by 4.
NME: The Queen bested EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle at 20:16 (Camel Clutch) by 6. |
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| Card 22: Held in Rotterdam (Attendance: 17,743) |
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HT/REESEMART: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman bested The Fishy Fisherman at 6:48 (Back Elbow Smash) by 64.
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer pinned NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 22:48 (Cradle to the Grave) by 6 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers decked Tim McCormick at 5:38 (Back Elbow Smash) by 98.
HT/REESEMART: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman over Jimmy Roth at 2:25 (Disqualification: tied opponent up).
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer won over Mike Taylor at 3:10 (Palm Strike) by 122.
Flex Powersnap drew IMT/AR15: Elrodhausen (Time Limit).
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle overpowered IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 29:20 (Fly Trap) by 5. |
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| Card 23: Held in Jacksonville (Attendance: 12,499) |
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SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer pinned The Fishy Fisherman at 4:50 (Back Elbow Smash) by 109.
NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn won over SOS/OMR: War Machine at 28:12 (Camel Clutch) by 1 (Guest Referee: NME: Black Checker).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers beat Dandy Davis at 6:36 (Back Elbow Smash) by 75.
HT/REESEMART: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman destroyed Steve Shields at 3:06 (Back Elbow Smash) by 108.
COT: Super Ghost Machine defeated Mike Taylor at 0:43 (Crescent Kick) by 117.
Flex Powersnap beat COT: Super Ghost Machine at 16:53 (Powersurge) by 7.
NME: The Queen decked COT: Chaos Machine at 11:57 (Palm Strike) by 11. |
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| Card 24: Held in Portland (Attendance: 12,112) |
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COT: Super Ghost Machine won over The Fishy Fisherman at 3:35 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 100.
Flex Powersnap defeated NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 28:31 (Powersurge) by 3.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers pinned Outlaw Ben Slick at 2:12 (Back Elbow Smash) by 103.
HT/REESEMART: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman decked Phil Dukes at 3:10 (Back Elbow Smash) by 78.
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer destroyed Fred Brown at 2:38 (Palm Strike) by 135.
Flex Powersnap won over COT: Mammoth Machine at 28:40 (Powersurge) by 1 (Guest Referee: Dandy Davis).
NME: The Bishop defeated IMT/AR15: The New Normal at 21:27 (Camel Clutch) by 6. |
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| Card 25: Held in Utica (Attendance: 22,824) |
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EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers over Neil B. Formee at 1:01 (Count Out).
TV title: IMT/AR15: Elrodhausen outmuscled NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 27:24 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 4.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers won over Professor Wrassle at 5:34 (Back Elbow Smash) by 81.
HT/REESEMART: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman bested Mike Taylor at 2:48 (Back Elbow Smash) by 120.
COT: Super Ghost Machine pinned Fred Brown at 2:55 (Crescent Kick) by 130.
West Coast title: Brutal Bud Rose destroyed SOS/OMR: American Psycho at 27:31 (Crown of Thorns) by 3.
Northeast title: NME: Hammer destroyed EDGE: 976-EVIL at 11:32 (Camel Clutch) by 11. |
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| Battle Royal: Held in Los Angeles (Attendance: 12,080) |
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LOTR: Violator snatched $1,000 after HT/REESEMART: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge hurled him out.
COT: Order Machine gained $1,100 after he got flung outside the ring by EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay.
EDGE: 976-EVIL grabbed $1,200 when he got thrown over the top rope by HT/REESEMART: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane grabbed $1,300 after NME: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson threw him over the top rope.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle grabbed $1,400 when he was flung outside the ring by HT/REESEMART: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge.
NME: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva won $1,500 after HT/REESEMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume flung him out.
COT: Shadow Machine snatched $1,600 after SOS/OMR: War Machine tossed him outside the ring.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers nabbed $1,700 after NME: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson flung him onto the apron.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux made $1,800 after he got thrown into some chairs at ringside by "Short Order" Nash Slinger.
NME: "Under Contract" Max Holloway picked up $1,900 after he got flung over the turnbuckle by NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn.
HT/REESEMART: Deathmatch Danielle from HR gained $2,000 after getting thrown outside the ring by NME: Hammer.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay took home $2,100 after being thrown outside the ring by Brutal Bud Rose.
SOS/OMR: Nigerian Nightmare took home $2,200 when COT: Mammoth Machine catapulted him onto the steps.
NME: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre earned $2,300 after HT/REESEMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly catapulted him out of the ring.
"Short Order" Nash Slinger took home $2,400 after getting catapulted out of the ring by HT/REESEMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume.
SOS/OMR: War Machine and COT: Jurassic Machine won a cool $2,500 and $2,600, respectively, when Brutal Bud Rose flipped them both out of the ring.
SOS/OMR: Demolition Man collected $2,700 when HT/REESEMART: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar flipped him over the turnbuckle.
NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn got $2,800 after getting thrown over the top rope by COT: Mammoth Machine.
HT/REESEMART: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman was given $2,900 after NME: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson threw her outside the ring.
COT: Chaos Machine nabbed $3,000 after HT/REESEMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly threw him outside the ring.
COT: Super Ghost Machine was awarded $3,100 after COT: Mammoth Machine threw him onto the announcer's table.
HT/REESEMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly nabbed $3,200 after getting tossed into the audience by NME: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson.
HT/REESEMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume earned $3,300 when he was hurled onto the steps by HT/REESEMART: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar.
Brutal Bud Rose was awarded $3,400 when he got tossed into the audience by NME: Hammer.
HT/REESEMART: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar nabbed $3,500 when he was thrown over the top rope by NME: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson.
NME: Hammer was awarded $3,600 when COT: Mammoth Machine threw him onto the steps.
HT/REESEMART: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge was awarded $3,700 when he was flipped onto the concrete floor by COT: Mammoth Machine.
NME: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson made $3,800 after COT: Mammoth Machine threw him into the audience.
COT: Mammoth Machine won the HAL battle royal and the $30,000 prize. |
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