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HIRED ASSASSIN LEAGUE |
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| BULLETIN #119 -- NOVEMBER 2025 |
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| Card 1: Held in Phoenix (Attendance: 348) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay beat Stink Boy in 9 at 6:01 (Ankle Lock) by 82.
CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn overpowered IMT/47: Flatten the Curve at 28:31 (Cobra Clutch) by 2.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay bested Charlie Ford in 6 at 1:12 (Back Elbow Smash) by 107.
IMT/47: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th bested COT/MULES: Malcolm "Formerly Known as Twitter" at 24:09 (12th Booster) by 6.
IMT/47: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th overpowered IMT/47: Flatten the Curve at 28:55 (12th Booster) by 1.
Main event: IMT/47: Flatten the Curve annihilated COT: Order Machine at 48:51 (Recommended Mandatory Jab) by 1. |
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| Card 2: Held in Anniston (Attendance: 505) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay destroyed Stink Man in 9 at 5:13 (Ankle Lock) by 79.
CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway pinned IMT/47: The New Normal at 29:01 (Cobra Clutch) by 4 (non-title).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay decked Dr. Blank in 6 at 5:57 (Back Elbow Smash) by 94.
IMT/47: Flatten the Curve outmuscled COT: Shadow Machine at 29:53 (Recommended Mandatory Jab) by 5.
IMT/47: Flatten the Curve drew COT: Chaos Machine (Time Limit).
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux pinned IMT/47: Flatten the Curve at 47:22 (Camel Clutch) by 1. |
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| Card 3: Held in Dothan (Attendance: 904) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay outmuscled Bob in 6 at 2:21 (Back Elbow Smash) by 91.
TV title: CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway bested IMT/47: Flatten the Curve at 27:01 (Cobra Clutch) by 2.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay outmuscled Tim McCormick in 6 at 4:28 (Back Elbow Smash) by 109.
IMT/47: We Are In This Together destroyed CURE: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 29:25 (The Cycle of Death) by 1 (non-title).
IMT/47: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th pinned CURE: Hammer at 27:38 (12th Booster) by 3.
Main event: EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay outmuscled EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 36:01 (Pimp Slap) by 1. |
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| Card 4: Held in Baltimore (Attendance: 432) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay over Wally Brick in 2 at 4:20 (Disqualification: used belt to hit opponent).
COT: Super Ghost Machine defeated EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 28:38 (Suplex I Learned from the Elrod) by 5.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay overpowered Dandy Davis in 6 at 4:32 (Back Elbow Smash) by 97.
IMT/47: Flatten the Curve bested CURE: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 29:33 (Recommended Mandatory Jab) by 1 (non-title).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones* and Flatten the Curve destroyed "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker* and Fred Brown in 9 at 1:11 (Headbutt) by 141.
Main event: EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay bested IMT/47: The New Normal at 31:59 (Pimp Slap) by 4. |
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| Card 5: Held in Bahrain (Attendance: 506) |
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IMT/47: Flatten the Curve overpowered Randy Whitfield in 6 at 3:12 (Mounted Punches) by 100 (non-title).
IMT/47: Flatten the Curve beat EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 27:34 (Recommended Mandatory Jab) by 2.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay over Outlaw Ben Slick in 1 at 10:46 (Disqualification: hit opponent with microphone).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay won over IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 28:26 (Pimp Slap) by 3.
COT: Glass City Assassin Bedlam* and Glass City Assassin Havoc bested COT/MULES: "Big Money" Amillion Buggs* and COT: Shadow Machine at 28:11 (Glass City Beatdown) by 4.
Main event: COT: Super Ghost Machine bested EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 30:58 (Suplex I Learned from the Elrod) by 1. |
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| Card 6: Held in Ocean City (Attendance: 636) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay over The Fishy Fisherman in 3 at 3:44 (Count Out).
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle bested CURE: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 29:56 (Fly Trap) by 3.
IMT/47: The New Normal annihilated EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 27:47 (Point Flow Passport) by 1.
IMT/47: Flatten the Curve overpowered IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 29:54 (Recommended Mandatory Jab) by 1.
COT: Glass City Assassin Bedlam* and Glass City Assassin Havoc overpowered COT: Shadow Machine and Super Ghost Machine* at 27:39 (Glass City Beatdown) by 4.
Main event: COT: Super Ghost Machine beat COT: Glass City Assassin Havoc at 40:22 (Suplex I Learned from the Elrod) by 8. |
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| Card 7: Held in Brideshead (Attendance: 397) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay defeated Drake in 11 at 1:15 (Superplex) by 142.
IMT/47: Flatten the Curve bested CURE: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 29:53 (Recommended Mandatory Jab) by 3.
IMT/47: Flatten the Curve won over EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 28:54 (Recommended Mandatory Jab) by 3.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay over Professor Wrassle in 1 at 3:26 (Disqualification: hit ref).
COT: Glass City Assassin Bedlam* and Glass City Assassin Havoc pinned COT: Jurassic Machine* and Chaos Machine in 7 at 18:23 (Headbutt) by 11.
Main event: COT: Super Ghost Machine destroyed IMT/47: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 34:28 (Suplex I Learned from the Elrod) by 2. |
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| Card 8: Held in Belgrade (Attendance: 526) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay destroyed Bruce Vanquish in 12 at 2:35 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 95.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay beat Peter Lawler in 6 at 2:57 (Back Elbow Smash) by 109.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux annihilated COT: Glass City Assassin Delirium at 27:18 (Camel Clutch) by 4.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay defeated Henry O. in 6 at 1:03 (Back Elbow Smash) by 132.
COT/MULES: Malcolm "Formerly Known as Twitter"* and Roosevelt Gunns destroyed COT: Jurassic Machine and Chaos Machine* at 28:22 (The Revolution) by 2.
Main event: COT: Super Ghost Machine bested CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 27:20 (Suplex I Learned from the Elrod) by 1. |
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| Card 9: Held in Greenwich Village (Attendance: 692) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay won over Neil B. Formee in 6 at 6:54 (Back Elbow Smash) by 67.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay annihilated Jimmy Roth in 6 at 2:58 (Back Elbow Smash) by 78.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux decked CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 27:06 (Camel Clutch) by 1.
COT: Super Ghost Machine defeated IMT/47: Flatten the Curve at 28:22 (Suplex I Learned from the Elrod) by 3 (non-title).
COT: Shadow Machine and Super Ghost Machine* defeated COT: Jurassic Machine and Chaos Machine* at 27:50 (Thumb to the Eye) by 2.
Main event: COT: Super Ghost Machine overpowered EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle at 40:40 (Suplex I Learned from the Elrod) by 3. |
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| Card 10: Held in Austin (Attendance: 727) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay annihilated "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker in 9 at 2:55 (Ankle Lock) by 141.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay over Steve Shields in 1 at 7:52 (Disqualification: manager in ring).
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux annihilated IMT/47: Flatten the Curve at 27:25 (Camel Clutch) by 1.
IMT/47: Flatten the Curve outmuscled COT: Jurassic Machine at 29:20 (Recommended Mandatory Jab) by 1.
TV Tag-team titles: IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones* and Flatten the Curve outmuscled COT: Jurassic Machine and Chaos Machine* at 29:42 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 5.
Main event: COT: Super Ghost Machine defeated COT: Mammoth Machine at 28:47 (Suplex I Learned from the Elrod) by 4. |
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| Card 11: Held in Copenhagen (Attendance: 823) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay defeated The Greater Cheese Grater at 0:53 (Pimp Slap) by 117.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay beat Phil Dukes in 6 at 4:21 (Back Elbow Smash) by 87.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay outmuscled COT: Glass City Assassin Bedlam at 28:32 (Pimp Slap) by 2.
IMT/47: Flatten the Curve defeated COT: Mammoth Machine at 29:50 (Recommended Mandatory Jab) by 1 (non-title).
IMT/47: We Are In This Together, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th* pinned Martin Dean*, Drake, and "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker at 4:40 (12th Booster) by 99.
Main event: COT: Super Ghost Machine bested CURE: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 33:35 (Suplex I Learned from the Elrod) by 4. |
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| Card 12: Held in Bucharest (Attendance: 695) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay bested "Clever" Cliff Cleaver in 14 at 3:25 (Cobra Clutch) by 122.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay defeated Mike Taylor in 6 at 1:22 (Back Elbow Smash) by 124.
CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre beat COT: Glass City Assassin Havoc at 29:52 (Camel Clutch) by 5.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay decked IMT/47: Flatten the Curve at 29:51 (Pimp Slap) by 2.
IMT/47: We Are In This Together, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th* outmuscled COT: Glass City Assassin Delirium, Glass City Assassin Bedlam*, and Jurassic Machine at 27:54 (12th Booster) by 3.
Main event: COT: Super Ghost Machine decked CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway at 58:24 (Suplex I Learned from the Elrod) by 1. |
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| Card 13: Held in Honolulu (Attendance: 849) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay destroyed Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings in 6 at 7:14 (Back Elbow Smash) by 69.
COT: Order Machine beat Fred Brown in 6 at 0:42 (Shoulder Breaker) by 129 (non-title).
EDGE: 976-EVIL defeated COT: Glass City Assassin Havoc at 29:43 (Evil Calls) by 1.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay bested CURE: Hammer at 27:59 (Pimp Slap) by 4.
COT: Shadow Machine, Jurassic Machine, and Mammoth Machine* decked COT: Super Ghost Machine*, Order Machine, and Chaos Machine at 10:14 (Doomsday Eye Gouge) by 13.
Main event: COT: Super Ghost Machine bested EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 16:38 (Suplex I Learned from the Elrod) by 6. |
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| Card 14: Held in Sydney (Attendance: 832) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay destroyed Frank's Friend Kyle in 6 at 3:27 (Back Elbow Smash) by 68.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay over Fred Brown in 1 at 3:34 (Count Out).
Northeast title: IMT/47: We Are In This Together decked COT: Glass City Assassin Havoc at 27:50 (The Cycle of Death) by 5.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle drew IMT/47: Flatten the Curve (Time Limit).
IMT/47: We Are In This Together, The New Normal*, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th outmuscled COT: Shadow Machine, Jurassic Machine*, and Mammoth Machine in 7 at 17:40 (Fallaway Slam) by 11.
Main event: COT: Super Ghost Machine decked EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 46:16 (Suplex I Learned from the Elrod) by 5. |
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| Card 15: Held in Talladega (Attendance: 570) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay outmuscled Al the Hacksaw in 12 at 1:10 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 136.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay defeated Duffy Wolfe in 6 at 2:11 (Back Elbow Smash) by 101.
IMT/47: Flatten the Curve bested COT: Glass City Assassin Havoc at 28:58 (Recommended Mandatory Jab) by 5 (non-title).
IMT/47: Flatten the Curve beat EDGE: 976-EVIL at 27:56 (Recommended Mandatory Jab) by 4.
Main event: COT: Super Ghost Machine beat IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 46:28 (Suplex I Learned from the Elrod) by 4. |
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| Card 16: Held in Hamburg (Attendance: 984) |
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CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn pinned COT/MULES: Roosevelt Gunns at 19:56 (Cobra Clutch) by 7.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay overpowered Curt Gold in 6 at 5:49 (Back Elbow Smash) by 84.
IMT/47: The New Normal defeated COT/MULES: "Big Money" Amillion Buggs at 29:07 (Point Flow Passport) by 3.
Great Lakes title: IMT/47: Flatten the Curve pinned IMT/47: The New Normal at 29:56 (Recommended Mandatory Jab) by 2.
Main event: COT: Super Ghost Machine bested COT: Chaos Machine at 54:57 (Suplex I Learned from the Elrod) by 3. |
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| Battle Royal: Held in Coden (Attendance: 573) |
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COT: Order Machine nabbed $1,000 when he got tossed into some chairs at ringside by CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway.
COT: Mammoth Machine earned $1,100 when he was thrown over the top rope by COT: Super Ghost Machine.
COT: Chaos Machine got $1,200 when CURE: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson threw him out.
COT: Jurassic Machine gained a quick $1,300 after CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre threw him out.
COT: Super Ghost Machine snatched $1,400 after getting thrown onto the announcer's table by CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn.
CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway picked up $1,500 in imaginary money when he was thrown out of the ring by CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre.
CURE: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson was given $1,600 when he got thrown onto the apron by CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn.
CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre and COT: Shadow Machine grabbed $1,700 and $1,800 in imaginary money, respectively, after they both were flipped onto the steps by CURE: Hammer.
CURE: Hammer won $1,900 when he got thrown out by CURE: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva.
CURE: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva collected $2,000 after getting flung onto the apron by CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn.
CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn won the battle royal and the $30,000 purse. |
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