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HIRED ASSASSIN LEAGUE |
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| BULLETIN #124 -- MARCH 2026 |
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| Card 1: Held in Back of the Yards (Attendance: 456) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane pinned Stink Boy in 11 at 4:04 (DDT) by 97.
Æ: "Under Contract" Max Holloway overpowered EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 29:50 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 2.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane defeated Duffy Wolfe in 6 at 3:38 (Palm Strike) by 94.
SOS: The Zombie Knight beat IMT/47: Flatten the Curve at 18:22 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 12.
SOS: The Zombie Prince beat COT: Jurassic Machine at 29:46 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 5 (non-title).
Main event: VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones pinned Æ: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 45:37 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 5. |
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| Card 2: Held in Naples (Attendance: 676) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane defeated Stink Man in 12 at 2:25 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 116.
Æ: "Under Contract" Max Holloway annihilated SOS: The Zombie King at 27:38 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 2.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane over Curt Gold in 2 at 4:22 (Disqualification: refused to break choke).
SOS: The Zombie King drew COT: Shadow Machine at 13:49 (Double Count Out).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay annihilated IMT/47: Flatten the Curve at 14:25 (Pimp Slap) by 15.
Main event: VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones won over Æ: Hammer at 34:19 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 2. |
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| Card 3: Held in Malta (Attendance: 429) |
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Æ: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson defeated Bob in 6 at 1:33 (Shoulder Breaker) by 89.
Æ: "Under Contract" Max Holloway outmuscled IMT/47: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 28:11 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 2.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane annihilated Charlie Ford in 6 at 2:29 (Palm Strike) by 104.
SOS: The Zombie Queen won over COT/MULES: Roosevelt Gunns in 11 at 8:20 (Boston Crab) by 21 (non-title).
Æ: Hammer bested IMT/47: Flatten the Curve at 15:42 (Hammered) by 15.
Main event: VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones decked EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 55:18 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 2. |
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| Card 4: Held in Oneida (Attendance: 312) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane pinned Bob in 6 at 2:46 (Palm Strike) by 89.
Æ: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson destroyed SOS: The Zombie Princess at 29:16 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 1.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane annihilated Dr. Blank in 6 at 3:26 (Palm Strike) by 101.
East Coast title: SOS: The Zombie Queen overpowered EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 28:18 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 1.
Central Plains title: SOS: The Zombie Prince pinned Æ: Hammer at 28:44 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 3.
Main event: VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones beat Æ: "Under Contract" Max Holloway at 34:13 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 1. |
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| Card 5: Held in Arlington (Attendance: 551) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane decked Wally Brick in 6 at 2:12 (Palm Strike) by 87.
EDGE: 976-EVIL overpowered SOS: The Zombie Princess at 29:37 (Evil Calls) by 1.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane destroyed Tim McCormick in 6 at 3:47 (Palm Strike) by 103.
VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones overpowered COT: Shadow Machine at 28:15 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 3 (non-title).
VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones* and IMT/47: Flatten the Curve beat Neil B. Formee* and Fred Brown in 6 at 7:06 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 73.
Main event: VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones decked IMT/47: Flatten the Curve at 11:23 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 17. |
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| Card 6: Held in Kokomo (Attendance: 309) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane over The Fishy Fisherman in 3 at 3:26 (Count Out).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers drew VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones at 10:34 (No Contest).
Æ: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre over Tim McCormick in 1 at 13:19 (Count Out) (non-title).
IMT/47: We Are In This Together decked COT: Shadow Machine at 29:47 (The Cycle of Death) by 1.
IMT/47: We Are In This Together*, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th decked Wally Brick*, "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker, and Fred Brown in 9 at 4:15 (Shoulder Breaker) by 89.
Main event: VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones bested Æ: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 28:12 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 4. |
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| Card 7: Held in Maidstone (Attendance: 438) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane outmuscled Neil B. Formee in 6 at 5:03 (Palm Strike) by 73.
Mid-Atlantic title: EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers overpowered IMT/47: Flatten the Curve at 8:18 (The Preppy Killer) by 17.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane pinned Dandy Davis in 6 at 3:58 (Palm Strike) by 99.
Æ: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva tied EDGE: 976-EVIL (Time Limit).
IMT/47: We Are In This Together, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th* annihilated COT: Shadow Machine*, Jurassic Machine, and Mammoth Machine in 8 at 12:45 (Shoulder Breaker) by 16.
Main event: VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones beat COT: Mammoth Machine at 29:27 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 1. |
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| Card 8: Held in Monterey (Attendance: 997) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane annihilated "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker in 9 at 0:41 (Hammerlock) by 133.
Æ: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson outmuscled EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle at 27:15 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 4.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane decked Outlaw Ben Slick in 6 at 1:41 (Palm Strike) by 89.
VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones decked COT: Super Ghost Machine at 27:51 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 4.
Main event: VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones won over EDGE: 976-EVIL at 44:20 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 4. |
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| Card 9: Held in Fargo (Attendance: 525) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane bested The Greater Cheese Grater at 4:21 (RV is Toast) by 93.
Northeast title: IMT/47: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th defeated Æ: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 28:57 (12th Booster) by 1.
VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones bested EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 27:47 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 1.
VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones bested COT: Jurassic Machine at 29:38 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 4 (non-title).
Main event: VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones beat COT: Shadow Machine at 58:10 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 3. |
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| Card 10: Held in Macon (Attendance: 335) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane outmuscled "Clever" Cliff Cleaver at 0:20 (RV is Toast) by 143.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane over Peter Lawler in 1 at 6:55 (Disqualification: nail file).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane over Professor Wrassle in 2 at 7:02 (Disqualification: tied opponent up).
VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones defeated COT: Mammoth Machine at 27:19 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 1 (non-title).
Main event: VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones decked COT/MULES: Roosevelt Gunns in 11 at 30:28 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 23. |
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| Card 11: Held in Miami (Attendance: 559) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane overpowered Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings in 6 at 5:39 (Palm Strike) by 73.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane annihilated Jimmy Roth in 6 at 3:00 (Palm Strike) by 68.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane overpowered Henry O. in 6 at 3:14 (Palm Strike) by 113.
VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones outmuscled EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 28:33 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 2 (non-title).
Main event: VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones beat COT: Jurassic Machine at 46:37 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 4. |
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| Card 12: Held in Meridian (Attendance: 698) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane over Frank's Friend Kyle in 1 at 4:07 (Disqualification: tied opponent up).
Æ: Hammer over Jimmy Roth in 3 at 4:03 (Disqualification: used powder).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane overpowered Æ: Hammer at 29:15 (RV is Toast) by 1.
VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones outmuscled EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle at 17:33 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 8.
Main event: VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones bested EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 51:51 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 1. |
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| Card 13: Held in Everglades City (Attendance: 595) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane destroyed Al the Hacksaw in 6 at 4:19 (Palm Strike) by 72.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane annihilated Steve Shields in 6 at 3:52 (Palm Strike) by 115.
VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones bested EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 27:14 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 3.
VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones outmuscled EDGE: 976-EVIL at 29:10 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 4 (non-title).
Main event: VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones won over EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 58:41 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 3. |
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| Card 14: Held in Homewood (Attendance: 963) |
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VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones destroyed Hilarity in 6 at 3:50 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 77 (non-title).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane destroyed Phil Dukes in 6 at 1:36 (Palm Strike) by 87.
Southeast title: SOS: The Zombie Court Jester decked COT: Shadow Machine at 29:15 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 2.
VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones annihilated IMT/47: We Are In This Together at 27:28 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 2.
Main event: EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers drew VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones at 11:10 (Double Disqualification). |
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| Card 15: Held in Knoxville (Attendance: 988) |
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VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones pinned Æ: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 27:01 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 3.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane bested Mike Taylor in 6 at 3:00 (Palm Strike) by 123.
SOS: The Zombie Court Jester drew COT: Mammoth Machine at 5:39 (No Contest).
VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones decked IMT/47: The New Normal at 28:17 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 3.
Main event: VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones decked COT: Super Ghost Machine at 46:12 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 4. |
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| Card 16: Held in Basel (Attendance: 508) |
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Æ: "Under Contract" Max Holloway defeated Duffy Wolfe in 6 at 1:36 (Shoulder Breaker) by 95.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane overpowered Fred Brown in 6 at 0:58 (Palm Strike) by 133.
EDGE: 976-EVIL outmuscled SOS: The Zombie Knight at 28:38 (Evil Calls) by 1.
West Coast title: IMT/47: We Are In This Together destroyed COT: Jurassic Machine at 29:58 (The Cycle of Death) by 2.
Main event: VIRUS: Ching Chong Jones beat COT: Order Machine at 59:40 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 5. |
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| Battle Royal: Held in Vicksburg (Attendance: 503) |
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Æ: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson pocketed $1,000 when he got thrown out of the ring by COT: Super Ghost Machine.
Æ: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre earned $1,100 after getting flipped out by EDGE: 976-EVIL.
Æ: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva was paid $1,200 when he got thrown out by COT: Shadow Machine.
Æ: "Under Contract" BJ Penn pocketed $1,300 when he was thrown into some fans at ringside by EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay.
Æ: Hammer collected $1,400 after COT: Mammoth Machine and EDGE: 976-EVIL hurled him out of the ring.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle made $1,500 when COT: Order Machine and COT: Jurassic Machine threw him into his manager at ringside.
EDGE: 976-EVIL was paid $1,600 in imaginary earnings after EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane threw him into some fans at ringside.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay grabbed $1,700 after getting tossed out by COT: Mammoth Machine.
COT: Order Machine grabbed a quick $1,800 after EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane tossed him into some fans at ringside.
COT: Jurassic Machine nabbed $1,900 after getting tossed into the audience by COT: Shadow Machine.
COT: Super Ghost Machine earned $2,000 when EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane catapulted him into the audience.
COT: Shadow Machine pocketed $2,100 when COT: Mammoth Machine tossed him into the audience.
COT: Mammoth Machine earned a quick $2,200 when EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux tossed him out.
Æ: "Under Contract" Max Holloway was given $2,300 when he got flipped out by EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux grabbed $2,400 when he got flipped out of the ring by EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane won $2,500 when EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers threw him into some chairs at ringside.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers won the battle royal and the $30,000 prize. |
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