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HIRED ASSASSIN LEAGUE

BULLETIN #52 -- HOLIDAYS 2021

Card 1: Held in Shanghai (Attendance: 6,556)

Crucible of blood outmuscled Stink Boy at 6:12 (Fallaway Slam) by 75.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn annihilated EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 29:00 (Brainbuster) by 4 (non-title).
VIRUS: Duke Sinn beat Coldstone Carlton at 4:21 (Palm Strike) by 92.
VIRUS: Duke Sinn pinned Duffy Wolfe at 2:31 (Headbutt) by 100.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane tied EDGE: 976-EVIL at 4:05 (Double Count Out).
IMT/CTI/VIRUS: The New Normal defeated VIRUS: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 27:18 (Check Your Privilege!) by 3.
VIRUS: Mike Vendetta* and Roderick Rampage outmuscled Morky and Gorky* at 28:40 (DDT) by 2.
Main event: EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane beat EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle at 40:33 (RV is Toast) by 2.

Card 2: Held in Everglades City (Attendance: 6,644)

VIRUS: Duke Sinn destroyed Stink Boy at 5:11 (Ankle Lock) by 73.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn defeated Crucible of blood at 15:34 (Brainbuster) by 14.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux beat VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 27:59 (Brainbuster) by 4.
Crucible of blood annihilated Curt Gold at 3:06 (Crescent Kick) by 80.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane pinned IMT/CTI/VIRUS: We Are In This Together at 27:58 (RV is Toast) by 3 (non-title).
IMT/CTI/VIRUS: Obey Or Get Canceled the 13th outmuscled VIRUS: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 20:50 (Let's Go Brandon) by 7.
IMT/CTI/VIRUS: We Are In This Together* and The New Normal annihilated EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers* and 976-EVIL at 28:04 (Covid Vacation) by 1.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn won over EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 48:36 (Brainbuster) by 4.

Card 3: Held in St. Paul (Attendance: 1,428)

Crucible of blood decked Bob at 6:01 (Crescent Kick) by 94.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn overpowered IMT/CTI/VIRUS: Flatten the Curve at 17:31 (Brainbuster) by 7.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane decked VIRUS: Brock Callihan at 20:37 (RV is Toast) by 7.
VIRUS: Duke Sinn pinned Curt Gold at 6:49 (Headbutt) by 80.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane destroyed IMT/CTI/VIRUS: The New Normal at 28:58 (RV is Toast) by 4 (non-title).
VIRUS: Duke Sinn overpowered Roddy Pumpernickel at 2:11 (Headbutt) by 125.
TV Tag-team titles: IMT/CTI/VIRUS: Flatten the Curve* and Obey Or Get Canceled the 13th annihilated Steve Shields and Fred Brown* at 1:59 (Ankle Lock) by 117.

Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn annihilated IMT/CTI/VIRUS: We Are In This Together at 19:32 (Brainbuster) by 7.

Card 4: Held in the East End of London (Attendance: 1,493)

VIRUS: Duke Sinn beat Bob at 2:36 (Headbutt) by 94.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn defeated VIRUS: Ace Anderson at 17:19 (Brainbuster) by 8 (non-title).
IMT/CTI/VIRUS: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th destroyed VIRUS: Brock Callihan at 27:48 (Speak To Your Manager) by 3.
Crucible of blood defeated Charlie Ford at 1:30 (Crescent Kick) by 92.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane won over IMT/CTI/VIRUS: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 29:38 (RV is Toast) by 4 (non-title).
East Coast title: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre overpowered IMT/CTI/VIRUS: We Are In This Together at 22:42 (Brainbuster) by 7.

IMT/CTI/VIRUS: We Are In This Together* and The New Normal destroyed EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane* and 976-EVIL at 29:31 (Covid Vacation) by 1.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn bested IMT/CTI/VIRUS: The New Normal at 42:54 (Brainbuster) by 8.

Card 5: Held in Pittsburgh (Attendance: 8,630)

EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane over Martin Dean at 28:12 (Disqualification: nail file) (non-title).
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway tied EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 19:01 (No Contest).
Crucible of blood beat Peter Lawler at 1:38 (Crescent Kick) by 90.
VIRUS: Duke Sinn decked Charlie Ford at 6:07 (Headbutt) by 92.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane tied IMT/CTI/VIRUS: Obey Or Get Canceled the 13th at 2:46 (Double Disqualification).
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre won over IMT/CTI/VIRUS: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 15:12 (Brainbuster) by 8 (non-title).
VIRUS: Mike Vendetta* and Roderick Rampage bested EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane* and 976-EVIL at 27:35 (DDT) by 3.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn defeated EDGE: 976-EVIL at 38:16 (Brainbuster) by 4.

Card 6: Held in Gulf Shores (Attendance: 5,652)

Crucible of blood pinned Martin Dean at 1:51 (Crescent Kick) by 81.
Southeast title: Inquisitor 1 bested EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 21:00 (Last Request) by 6.

VIRUS: Duke Sinn won over Peter Lawler at 2:36 (Headbutt) by 90.
Crucible of blood beat Dr. Blank at 2:50 (Crescent Kick) by 92.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane drew VIRUS: Duke Sinn at 3:00 (Double Count Out).
Southwest title: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz pinned EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 27:30 (Backbreaker) by 3.

VIRUS: Mike Vendetta* and Roderick Rampage destroyed EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux and Andrew Dice Clay* at 27:25 (DDT) by 5.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn decked EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 42:22 (Brainbuster) by 6.

Card 7: Held in Syracuse (Attendance: 1,125)

EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle destroyed Martin Dean at 2:41 (Cross-Armbar) by 87 (non-title).
Inquisitor 1 outmuscled EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 27:55 (Last Request) by 4 (non-title).
Crucible of blood beat Jimmy Roth at 7:53 (Crescent Kick) by 59.
VIRUS: Duke Sinn defeated Dr. Blank at 2:26 (Headbutt) by 92.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane won over VIRUS: Mike Vendetta at 28:54 (RV is Toast) by 4.
Rocky Mountains title: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Andrei Arlovski outmuscled IMT/CTI/VIRUS: Obey Or Get Canceled the 13th at 27:30 (Rear Naked Choke) by 3.

League Tag-team titles: VIRUS: Mike Vendetta* and Roderick Rampage overpowered IMT/CTI/VIRUS: We Are In This Together* and The New Normal at 28:23 (DDT) by 2.

Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn pinned IMT/CTI/VIRUS: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 46:31 (Brainbuster) by 8.

Card 8: Held in Luxembourg (Attendance: 9,284)

VIRUS: Duke Sinn over Martin Dean at 1:48 (Disqualification: used belt to hit opponent).
IMT/CTI/VIRUS: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th beat Morky at 28:12 (Speak To Your Manager) by 3.
VIRUS: Duke Sinn over Jimmy Roth at 7:53 (Disqualification: manager in ring).
Crucible of blood over Tim McCormick at 2:46 (Disqualification: used belt to hit opponent).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane bested VIRUS: Roderick Rampage at 29:40 (RV is Toast) by 5.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Jorge Masvidal drew EDGE: 976-EVIL at 4:13 (Double Count Out).
Inquisitor 1, Inquisitor 2, and Inquisitor 3* pinned Martin Dean, Fred Brown, and Outlaw Ben Slick* at 4:39 (Mounted Punches) by 84.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn overpowered IMT/CTI/VIRUS: Obey Or Get Canceled the 13th at 32:07 (Brainbuster) by 4.

Card 9: Held in Zacatecas (Attendance: 2,014)

Crucible of blood over The Fishy Fisherman at 7:45 (Disqualification: razor in boot).
IMT/CTI/VIRUS: Obey Or Get Canceled the 13th pinned Morky at 19:08 (Let's Go Brandon) by 7.
Crucible of blood annihilated Steve Shields at 0:44 (Crescent Kick) by 121.
VIRUS: Duke Sinn destroyed Tim McCormick at 4:41 (Headbutt) by 103.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane bested VIRUS: Ace Anderson at 28:08 (RV is Toast) by 4 (non-title).
Inquisitor 3 decked IMT/CTI/VIRUS: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 23:38 (Last Request) by 8 (non-title).
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson, "Under Contract" Randy Couture*, and "Under Contract" Chuck Liddell outmuscled Inquisitor 1, Inquisitor 2, and Inquisitor 3* at 28:47 (Rear Naked Choke) by 4.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn pinned EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 24:09 (Brainbuster) by 9.

Card 10: Held in Yonkers (Attendance: 4,540)

VIRUS: Duke Sinn bested The Fishy Fisherman at 3:28 (Palm Strike) by 102.
Inquisitor 2 decked EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 27:55 (Last Request) by 2.
VIRUS: Duke Sinn won over Steve Shields at 4:09 (Headbutt) by 121.
Crucible of blood destroyed Dandy Davis at 5:58 (Crescent Kick) by 94.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Chuck Liddell pinned EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 28:52 (Rear Naked Choke) by 5.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay beat VIRUS: Mike Vendetta at 29:10 (Pimp Slap) by 1.
TV Six-man titles: Inquisitor 1, Inquisitor 2, and Inquisitor 3* defeated IMT/CTI/VIRUS: We Are In This Together*, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 27:20 (Last Request) by 3.

Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn pinned EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 42:18 (Brainbuster) by 7.

Card 11: Held in Moscow (Attendance: 6,036)

Crucible of blood decked "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker at 2:14 (Fallaway Slam) by 127.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane beat EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 29:17 (RV is Toast) by 2 (non-title).
Crucible of blood beat Phil Dukes at 4:21 (Crescent Kick) by 83.
VIRUS: Duke Sinn bested Dandy Davis at 3:42 (Headbutt) by 94.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux drew VIRUS: Roderick Rampage at 2:56 (Double Disqualification).
IMT/CTI/VIRUS: Obey Or Get Canceled the 13th overpowered VIRUS: Hunter Harrison at 27:08 (Let's Go Brandon) by 3.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson, "Under Contract" Randy Couture*, and "Under Contract" Chuck Liddell defeated IMT/CTI/VIRUS: We Are In This Together*, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 21:53 (Rear Naked Choke) by 7.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn annihilated VIRUS: Ace Anderson at 24:23 (Brainbuster) by 8.

Card 12: Held in La Paz (Attendance: 5,198)

VIRUS: Duke Sinn pinned "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker at 2:17 (Ankle Lock) by 125.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers decked VIRUS: "Under Contract" Randy Couture at 29:37 (The Preppy Killer) by 3.
VIRUS: Duke Sinn defeated Phil Dukes at 2:54 (Headbutt) by 83.
Crucible of blood decked Outlaw Ben Slick at 2:19 (Crescent Kick) by 85.
Great Lakes title: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Conor McGregor won over IMT/CTI/VIRUS: The New Normal at 28:47 (Rear Naked Choke) by 4.

VIRUS: Duke Sinn beat IMT/CTI/VIRUS: We Are In This Together at 29:50 (Brainbuster) by 3.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn outmuscled VIRUS: Duke Sinn at 36:12 (Brainbuster) by 4.

Card 13: Held in Harvey (Attendance: 7,856)

Crucible of blood over Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings at 7:08 (Disqualification: used rope to choke).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers outmuscled Gorky at 27:52 (The Preppy Killer) by 4.
Crucible of blood defeated Mike Taylor at 3:56 (Crescent Kick) by 118.
VIRUS: Duke Sinn annihilated Outlaw Ben Slick at 2:54 (Headbutt) by 85.
EDGE: 976-EVIL bested Gorky at 20:48 (Evil Calls) by 6.
Morky and Gorky* overpowered Martin Dean* and Fred Brown at 6:14 (Cross-Armbar) by 87.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn won over VIRUS: "Under Contract" Jorge Masvidal at 36:37 (Brainbuster) by 4.

Card 14: Held in Laramie (Attendance: 1,341)

VIRUS: Duke Sinn overpowered Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings at 5:57 (Headbutt) by 63.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre annihilated EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 22:35 (Brainbuster) by 6 (non-title).
VIRUS: Duke Sinn defeated Mike Taylor at 4:09 (Headbutt) by 118.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane overpowered EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 29:01 (RV is Toast) by 5.
IMT/CTI/VIRUS: We Are In This Together pinned Crucible of blood at 18:59 (Covid Vacation) by 7.
VIRUS: Mike Vendetta and Roderick Rampage* outmuscled Martin Dean* and Fred Brown at 2:34 (Mounted Punches) by 90.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn decked IMT/CTI/VIRUS: Flatten the Curve at 23:40 (Brainbuster) by 7.

Card 15: Held in Budapest (Attendance: 9,582)

Crucible of blood over Frank's Friend Kyle at 1:14 (Disqualification: manager in ring).
Northeast title: Inquisitor 3 annihilated EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 24:56 (Last Request) by 6.

Crucible of blood annihilated Fred Brown at 1:54 (Crescent Kick) by 131.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane drew VIRUS: "Under Contract" Chuck Liddell at 3:17 (Double Count Out).
IMT/CTI/VIRUS: The New Normal outmuscled Crucible of blood at 18:59 (Check Your Privilege!) by 6.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway and "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz* decked IMT/CTI/VIRUS: We Are In This Together* and The New Normal at 27:13 (Rear Naked Choke) by 2.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn won over VIRUS: "Under Contract" Andrei Arlovski at 44:02 (Brainbuster) by 1.

Card 16: Held in Barcelona (Attendance: 1,762)

VIRUS: Duke Sinn over Frank's Friend Kyle at 2:24 (Disqualification: used powder).
West Coast title: Inquisitor 2 destroyed VIRUS: Ace Anderson at 29:17 (Last Request) by 4.

VIRUS: Duke Sinn over Fred Brown at 1:30 (Disqualification: hit opponent with microphone).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane pinned EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 27:26 (RV is Toast) by 3 (non-title).
IMT/CTI/VIRUS: Obey Or Get Canceled the 13th defeated Crucible of blood at 24:40 (Let's Go Brandon) by 10.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway and "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz* tied VIRUS: Mike Vendetta* and Roderick Rampage (Time Limit).
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn destroyed VIRUS: Brock Callihan at 24:26 (Brainbuster) by 11.

Card 17: Held in Oneida (Attendance: 6,985)

VIRUS: Duke Sinn outmuscled Zee Strangler at 3:32 (Ankle Lock) by 64.
VIRUS: Duke Sinn outmuscled Gold Bond at 8:10 (Headbutt) by 48.
Crucible of blood pinned Duffy Wolfe at 4:05 (Crescent Kick) by 100.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane decked VIRUS: Hunter Harrison at 27:22 (RV is Toast) by 3.
EDGE: 976-EVIL overpowered VIRUS: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 17:50 (Evil Calls) by 7.
Morky and Gorky* drew IMT/CTI/VIRUS: We Are In This Together* and The New Normal at 6:31 (Double Count Out).

Battle Royal: Held in Philadelphia (Attendance: 6,478)

Morky received $1,000 when Inquisitor 2 flipped him out.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux collected $1,100 after VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre flipped him out of the ring.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle was paid $1,200 when he got tossed onto the announcer's table by EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay.
EDGE: 976-EVIL made $1,300 in imaginary earnings after he was thrown into some fans at ringside by Crucible of blood.
Inquisitor 2 collected $1,400 after EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane tossed him outside the ring.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva collected $1,500 when Gorky threw him over the turnbuckle.
Inquisitor 1 and Crucible of blood were awarded $1,600 and $1,700, respectively, after they both were tossed out by VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn and VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay and EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers pocketed $1,800 and $1,900, respectively, after Gorky flipped them both out.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane collected an imaginary $2,000 when he got flung outside the ring by Inquisitor 3.
Gorky gained $2,100 after being thrown out by VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre pocketed $2,200 when Inquisitor 3 tossed him out of the ring.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn was given $2,300 after being thrown between the ropes by Inquisitor 3.
Inquisitor 3 won the HAL battle royal and the $30,000 purse.

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