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HIRED ASSASSIN LEAGUE |
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| BULLETIN #73 -- MARCH 2023 |
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| Card 1: Held in Talladega (Attendance: 3,681) |
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EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux destroyed Stink Boy at 4:58 (Superplex) by 93.
Great Lakes title: EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers outmuscled SOS/OMR: Irish Hand Grenade at 28:33 (The Preppy Killer) by 3.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux over Outlaw Ben Slick at 4:26 (Disqualification: used powder).
West Coast title: COT: Elroy the Squid pinned IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 27:08 (Ink Cloud) by 5.
LPPF: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz defeated SOS/OMR: American Psycho at 28:01 (Rear Naked Choke) by 5.
LPPF: "Under Contract" Randy Couture* and "Under Contract" Conor McGregor beat SOS/OMR: Nigerian Nightmare and American Psycho* at 28:32 (Rear Naked Choke) by 5.
Main event: SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer outmuscled SOS/OMR: Demolition Man at 57:42 (Cradle to the Grave) by 4. |
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| Card 2: Held in Reno (Attendance: 7,408) |
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EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux defeated Stink Man at 3:41 (Shoulder Breaker) by 93.
NME: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson decked EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 29:24 (Stunner) by 4.
SOS/OMR: Demolition Man overpowered EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 29:21 (Exploder) by 1.
LPPF: "Under Contract" Conor McGregor defeated IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 28:51 (Rear Naked Choke) by 3.
LPPF: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz destroyed IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 16:09 (Rear Naked Choke) by 10 (non-title).
COT: Lefty Scissors and Elroy the Squid* bested SOS/OMR: War Machine* and Demolition Man at 13:30 (Ink Cloud) by 12.
Main event: SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer beat SOS/OMR: War Machine at 39:36 (Cradle to the Grave) by 7. |
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| Card 3: Held in Hollywood (Attendance: 4,757) |
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EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux won over Bob at 3:24 (Back Elbow Smash) by 82.
NME: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson decked SOS/OMR: Demolition Man at 29:49 (Stunner) by 3.
SOS/OMR: Nigerian Nightmare defeated EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 29:49 (Nightmare Spear) by 3.
LPPF: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz overpowered NME: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 11:40 (Rear Naked Choke) by 11.
LPPF: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz destroyed COT: Mr. Fritz at 23:49 (Rear Naked Choke) by 7.
COT: Lefty Scissors and Elroy the Squid* annihilated LPPF: "Under Contract" Randy Couture* and "Under Contract" Conor McGregor at 29:38 (Ink Cloud) by 2.
Main event: SOS/OMR: Nigerian Nightmare pinned SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer at 38:57 (Nightmare Spear) by 1. |
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| Card 4: Held in Santiago (Attendance: 8,063) |
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EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux annihilated Wally Brick at 5:55 (Back Elbow Smash) by 94.
Pacific Northwest title: NME: The Rook pinned NME: The King at 29:04 (Stunner) by 5.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux annihilated SOS/OMR: Demolition Man at 28:37 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 2.
LPPF: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz defeated NME: Black Checker at 19:54 (Rear Naked Choke) by 8.
NME: The King overpowered EDGE: 976-EVIL at 27:21 (Stunner) by 1.
IMT/AR15: Elrodhausen* and Flatten the Curve defeated COT: Lefty Scissors and Elroy the Squid* at 27:39 (Very Nice Very Elrod) by 2.
Main event: SOS/OMR: Nigerian Nightmare pinned SOS/OMR: Irish Hand Grenade at 43:53 (Nightmare Spear) by 4. |
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| Card 5: Held in Cape Town (Attendance: 8,183) |
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EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux bested Martin Dean at 6:34 (Back Elbow Smash) by 93.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux beat Peter Lawler at 6:59 (Back Elbow Smash) by 92.
LPPF: "Under Contract" Randy Couture drew NME: The King at 7:41 (Double Disqualification).
TV title: SOS/OMR: Nigerian Nightmare destroyed SOS/OMR: Demolition Man at 28:55 (Nightmare Spear) by 5.
NME: The King annihilated COT: Mr. Fritz at 29:34 (Stunner) by 1.
COT: Lefty Scissors and Elroy the Squid* won over SOS/OMR: Nigerian Nightmare and American Psycho* at 16:27 (Ink Cloud) by 7.
Main event: SOS/OMR: Nigerian Nightmare pinned NME: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 37:09 (Nightmare Spear) by 2. |
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| Card 6: Held in Nairobi (Attendance: 6,817) |
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EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux bested The Fishy Fisherman at 3:06 (Back Elbow Smash) by 64.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux bested Jimmy Roth at 3:39 (Back Elbow Smash) by 86.
LPPF: "Under Contract" Chuck Liddell won over SOS/OMR: Demolition Man at 28:24 (Rear Naked Choke) by 1.
SOS/OMR: Irish Hand Grenade destroyed SOS/OMR: Demolition Man at 28:04 (Click Click Boom) by 1.
Southwest title: SOS/OMR: American Psycho outmuscled IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together at 20:55 (Torture Rack) by 6.
IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th* won over LPPF: "Under Contract" Chuck Liddell, "Under Contract" Conor McGregor*, and "Under Contract" Andrei Arlovski at 28:39 (Rules For Thee Not Me) by 2.
Main event: SOS/OMR: Nigerian Nightmare won over NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 34:56 (Nightmare Spear) by 5. |
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| Card 7: Held in Paris (Attendance: 1,046) |
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EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux won over "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker at 2:35 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 140.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux over Steve Shields at 1:55 (Disqualification: used brass knuckles).
Central Plains title: IMT/AR15: Elrodhausen overpowered SOS/OMR: War Machine at 19:11 (Very Nice Very Elrod) by 6.
LPPF: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz overpowered SOS/OMR: Demolition Man at 23:26 (Rear Naked Choke) by 7 (non-title).
IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together won over NME: The Queen at 28:32 (Stay Home Save Lives) by 1.
Main event: SOS/OMR: Nigerian Nightmare defeated NME: The King at 46:04 (Nightmare Spear) by 4. |
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| Card 8: Held in Midland (Attendance: 8,225) |
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EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux pinned Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings at 3:53 (Back Elbow Smash) by 67.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux overpowered Phil Dukes at 1:48 (Back Elbow Smash) by 86.
SOS/OMR: Demolition Man beat SOS/OMR: War Machine at 28:37 (Exploder) by 3.
SOS/OMR: Demolition Man bested LPPF: "Under Contract" Andrei Arlovski at 28:41 (Exploder) by 2.
IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th destroyed NME: The Bishop at 28:30 (Rules For Thee Not Me) by 2.
Main event: SOS/OMR: Nigerian Nightmare destroyed COT: Lefty Scissors at 55:50 (Nightmare Spear) by 4. |
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| Card 9: Held in Bombay (Attendance: 6,089) |
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EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux bested Frank's Friend Kyle at 7:24 (Back Elbow Smash) by 58.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux pinned Mike Taylor at 3:03 (Back Elbow Smash) by 124.
NME: The King destroyed SOS/OMR: War Machine at 28:45 (Stunner) by 4.
LPPF: "Under Contract" Jorge Masvidal defeated SOS/OMR: Demolition Man at 29:32 (Rear Naked Choke) by 2.
COT: Mr. Fritz destroyed IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together at 28:10 (The Fritzinator) by 4.
Main event: LPPF: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz outmuscled SOS/OMR: Nigerian Nightmare at 53:38 (Rear Naked Choke) by 2. |
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| Card 10: Held in Tirana (Attendance: 5,974) |
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EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux destroyed Al the Hacksaw at 2:19 (Boston Crab) by 147.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux outmuscled Fred Brown at 2:33 (Back Elbow Smash) by 130.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle pinned SOS/OMR: War Machine at 20:02 (Fly Trap) by 6.
SOS/OMR: Demolition Man beat EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 27:18 (Exploder) by 2.
IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th over NME: Hammer at 5:28 (Count Out).
Main event: LPPF: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz won over IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together at 17:18 (Rear Naked Choke) by 11. |
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| Card 11: Held in Barbours Cut (Attendance: 2,350) |
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NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn tied SOS/OMR: Demolition Man at 3:40 (No Contest) (cage).
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux annihilated Duffy Wolfe at 1:49 (Back Elbow Smash) by 128.
COT: Lefty Scissors bested NME: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 27:05 (Backwards Scissors) by 5.
NME: The King decked SOS/OMR: Demolition Man at 28:34 (Stunner) by 1.
NME: "Under Contract" Max Holloway and "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre* destroyed LPPF: "Under Contract" Randy Couture* and "Under Contract" Conor McGregor at 29:32 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 3.
Main event: LPPF: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz destroyed IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 15:11 (Rear Naked Choke) by 10. |
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| Card 12: Held in Burton (Attendance: 5,291) |
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NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn pinned EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 28:53 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 2.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux over Curt Gold at 6:55 (Count Out).
COT: Lefty Scissors bested NME: Red Checker at 29:07 (Backwards Scissors) by 2.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle won over SOS/OMR: Demolition Man at 28:59 (Fly Trap) by 3.
League Tag-team titles: NME: "Under Contract" Max Holloway* and "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre overpowered COT: Lefty Scissors* and Elroy the Squid at 29:43 (Hammerlock) by 4.
Main event: LPPF: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz won over EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle at 52:23 (Rear Naked Choke) by 4. |
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| Card 13: Held in Cincinnati (Attendance: 8,666) |
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NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn drew COT: Mr. Fritz at 3:57 (Double Disqualification).
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux over Charlie Ford at 5:30 (Disqualification: used rope to choke).
SOS/OMR: Nigerian Nightmare overpowered COT: Lefty Scissors at 27:58 (Nightmare Spear) by 4 (non-title).
SOS/OMR: Demolition Man beat IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together at 29:13 (Exploder) by 4.
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer and Irish Hand Grenade* drew LPPF: "Under Contract" Randy Couture* and "Under Contract" Conor McGregor at 15:44 (Double Disqualification).
Main event: LPPF: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz decked EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 51:45 (Rear Naked Choke) by 5. |
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| Card 14: Held in Accra (Attendance: 7,628) |
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NME: "Under Contract" Max Holloway outmuscled SOS/OMR: War Machine at 27:57 (Stunner) by 2.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux overpowered Dr. Blank at 2:19 (Back Elbow Smash) by 113.
COT: Lefty Scissors won over SOS/OMR: Demolition Man at 27:02 (Backwards Scissors) by 1.
SOS/OMR: Demolition Man won over IMT/AR15: The New Normal at 29:30 (Exploder) by 3 (non-title).
COT: Lefty Scissors and Elroy the Squid* bested SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer and Irish Hand Grenade* at 28:22 (Ink Cloud) by 2.
Main event: LPPF: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz destroyed EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 57:41 (Rear Naked Choke) by 3. |
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| Card 15: Held in Baltimore (Attendance: 2,383) |
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NME: "Under Contract" Max Holloway defeated IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together at 27:19 (Stunner) by 3.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux pinned Tim McCormick at 4:33 (Back Elbow Smash) by 90.
COT: Lefty Scissors annihilated EDGE: 976-EVIL at 28:49 (Backwards Scissors) by 1.
SOS/OMR: Irish Hand Grenade destroyed NME: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 29:37 (Click Click Boom) by 2.
LPPF: "Under Contract" Randy Couture* and "Under Contract" Conor McGregor pinned SOS/OMR: War Machine* and Demolition Man at 15:29 (Rear Naked Choke) by 10.
Main event: LPPF: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz outmuscled EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 23:06 (Rear Naked Choke) by 8. |
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| Card 16: Held in Cheyenne (Attendance: 8,219) |
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EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers overpowered SOS/OMR: Demolition Man at 28:22 (The Preppy Killer) by 4.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux won over Dandy Davis at 1:34 (Back Elbow Smash) by 97.
Rocky Mountains title: IMT/AR15: Flatten the Curve annihilated COT: Lefty Scissors at 28:42 (Wuhan Flu Clutch) by 1.
NME: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre beat IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 27:05 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 2.
TV Tag-team titles: IMT/AR15: Elrodhausen* and Flatten the Curve overpowered LPPF: "Under Contract" Randy Couture* and "Under Contract" Conor McGregor at 29:01 (Very Nice Very Elrod) by 4.
Main event: LPPF: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz defeated EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 22:48 (Rear Naked Choke) by 9 (Guest Referee: MiG-21 "Fishbed"). |
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| Battle Royal: Held in Ciudad Juarez (Attendance: 6,587) |
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NME: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva pocketed $1,000 after he got thrown over the top rope by NME: Hammer.
NME: Hammer collected $1,100 in imaginary money after COT: Mr. Fritz hurled him over the turnbuckle.
NME: "Under Contract" Max Holloway earned an imaginary $1,200 after being tossed over the turnbuckle by NME: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre.
NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn was paid $1,300 after he got flung out by EDGE: 976-EVIL.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay won $1,400 after getting thrown out by COT: Mr. Fritz.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane got $1,500 after EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers flipped him onto the announcer's table.
EDGE: 976-EVIL grabbed $1,600 when he got catapulted into the audience by NME: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson.
COT: Mr. Fritz made $1,700 after EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers catapulted him onto the steps.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux was paid $1,800 after being thrown out by EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle nabbed $1,900 when he got hurled outside the ring by EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers earned $2,000 when NME: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson threw him into the audience.
NME: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre collected $2,100 after being thrown onto the announcer's table by NME: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson.
NME: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson was the winner of the HAL battle royal and the $30,000 prize. |
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