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HIRED ASSASSIN LEAGUE |
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| BULLETIN #133 -- SEPTEMBER 2026 |
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| Card 1: Held in Amityville (Attendance: 950) |
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VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson overpowered Stink Boy in 9 at 3:56 (Shoulder Breaker) by 67 (non-title).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane won over Frank's Friend Kyle in 6 at 3:42 (Ankle Lock) by 64.
COT: Super Ghost Machine annihilated VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 17:55 (Thumb to the Elrod) by 6.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane pinned Charlie Ford in 6 at 2:17 (Ankle Lock) by 100.
Rocky Mountains title: IMT/67: We Are In This Together won over VIRUS: Hammer in 10 at 27:10 (Crescent Kick) by 5.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva defeated VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 41:40 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 7. |
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| Card 2: Held in Bangkok (Attendance: 679) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane over Stink Boy in 2 at 10:10 (Count Out).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane defeated Al the Hacksaw in 7 at 3:37 (Cross-Armbar) by 87.
COT: Mammoth Machine pinned VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 22:28 (Mammoth Thumb to the Eye) by 7.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane defeated Dr. Blank in 6 at 6:52 (Ankle Lock) by 94.
IMT/67: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th annihilated SOS: The Zombie Prince at 18:05 (12th Booster) by 9.
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux bested VIRUS: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 29:57 (Stunner) by 5. |
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| Card 3: Held in Glasgow (Attendance: 894) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane outmuscled Stink Man in 10 at 3:15 (Flying Dropkick) by 110.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn pinned SOS: The Zombie Knight at 15:27 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 6.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay destroyed VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 18:12 (Pimp Slap) by 10.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane overpowered Tim McCormick in 6 at 4:41 (Ankle Lock) by 83.
IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones* and Flatten the Curve bested Martin Dean and "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker* in 9 at 3:52 (Flying Dropkick) by 98.
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux defeated EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 37:26 (Stunner) by 4. |
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| Card 4: Held in Barcelona (Attendance: 829) |
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VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn overpowered Bob in 6 at 5:37 (Flying Dropkick) by 71.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn drew IMT/67: Flatten the Curve at 6:19 (No Contest).
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle defeated VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 18:41 (Fly Trap) by 6.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre outmuscled Tim McCormick in 6 at 3:45 (Crescent Kick) by 85.
IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones and Flatten the Curve* annihilated VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson and "Under Contract" Anderson Silva* at 22:48 (Recommended Mandatory Jab) by 7.
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux decked EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 42:47 (Stunner) by 1. |
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| Card 5: Held in Hazzard County (Attendance: 323) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane destroyed Bob in 6 at 4:16 (Ankle Lock) by 72.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway beat Peter Lawler in 6 at 2:34 (Back Elbow Smash) by 106.
IMT/67: The New Normal decked VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson in 11 at 17:31 (Superplex) by 9.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane bested Dandy Davis in 6 at 5:58 (Ankle Lock) by 82.
IMT/67: We Are In This Together*, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th outmuscled "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker*, Fred Brown, and Outlaw Ben Slick in 9 at 1:43 (Fallaway Slam) by 104.
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux defeated IMT/67: The New Normal at 31:11 (Stunner) by 7. |
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| Card 6: Held in Dothan (Attendance: 703) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane bested Wally Brick in 12 at 0:43 (Cobra Clutch) by 141.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway pinned SOS: The Zombie King at 20:19 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 9.
IMT/67: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th defeated VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 19:22 (12th Booster) by 9.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane over Outlaw Ben Slick in 1 at 0:47 (Count Out).
IMT/67: We Are In This Together, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th* outmuscled COT: Shadow Machine, Jurassic Machine, and Mammoth Machine* at 15:03 (12th Booster) by 14.
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux decked VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 18:00 (Stunner) by 12. |
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| Card 7: Held in Moscow (Attendance: 456) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane destroyed Randy Whitfield in 6 at 4:38 (Ankle Lock) by 94.
SOS: The Zombie Princess beat VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 27:10 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 4.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane defeated Peter Lawler in 6 at 2:05 (Ankle Lock) by 105.
VIRUS: Hammer over Outlaw Ben Slick in 1 at 15:24 (Count Out).
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux beat IMT/67: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 47:24 (Stunner) by 3 (Guest Referee: Lefty O'Hooligan). |
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| Card 8: Held in Cincinnati (Attendance: 554) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane over The Fishy Fisherman in 3 at 8:50 (Count Out).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers annihilated VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 21:56 (The Preppy Killer) by 8.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane overpowered Jimmy Roth in 6 at 2:51 (Ankle Lock) by 62.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane pinned The Glass Jaw in 6 at 0:31 (Ankle Lock) by 102.
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux defeated VIRUS: Hammer at 23:31 (Stunner) by 9. |
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| Card 9: Held in Gulfport (Attendance: 515) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane annihilated Drake in 9 at 1:11 (Shoulder Breaker) by 127.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers overpowered IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones at 29:44 (The Preppy Killer) by 5.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane over Steve Shields in 1 at 1:34 (Count Out).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane over Professor Wrassle in 1 at 4:50 (Count Out).
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux destroyed VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 27:17 (Stunner) by 6. |
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| Card 10: Held in Rosemont (Attendance: 978) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane over Bruce Vanquish in 6 at 7:05 (Disqualification: hidden spike).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane defeated VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 15:46 (RV is Toast) by 11.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane overpowered Phil Dukes in 6 at 3:11 (Ankle Lock) by 83.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane won over Henry O. in 6 at 0:57 (Ankle Lock) by 110.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway won over EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 49:06 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 1. |
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| Card 11: Held in Akron (Attendance: 498) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane pinned Neil B. Formee in 11 at 1:35 (Superplex) by 136.
TV title: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux defeated VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 15:28 (Stunner) by 12.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane beat Mike Taylor in 6 at 1:19 (Ankle Lock) by 116.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux decked IMT/67: Flatten the Curve at 19:35 (Stunner) by 6.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway bested EDGE: 976-EVIL at 33:52 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 6. |
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| Card 12: Held in New Orleans (Attendance: 680) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane over "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker in 2 at 14:59 (Disqualification: used powder).
SOS: The Zombie Court Jester outmuscled VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 19:51 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 7.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane won over Fred Brown in 6 at 2:34 (Ankle Lock) by 131.
SOS: The Zombie Court Jester drew EDGE: 976-EVIL (Time Limit).
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway annihilated SOS: The Zombie Queen at 32:58 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 6. |
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| Card 13: Held in London (Attendance: 602) |
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VIRUS: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva destroyed "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker in 9 at 1:16 (Shoulder Breaker) by 124 (non-title).
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson drew SOS: The Zombie Knight at 4:38 (Double Count Out).
COT: Mammoth Machine outmuscled Fred Brown in 6 at 1:21 (Back Elbow Smash) by 133.
SOS: The Zombie Queen defeated VIRUS: Hammer at 27:20 (Stunner) by 4.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway decked EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 36:24 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 3 (Guest Referee: The Super Apartment Super). |
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| Card 14: Held in Montreal (Attendance: 537) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane beat The Greater Cheese Grater at 2:59 (RV is Toast) by 111.
SOS: The Zombie King defeated VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 27:53 (Stunner) by 4.
EDGE: 976-EVIL pinned Fred Brown in 6 at 1:21 (Ankle Lock) by 131.
IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones outmuscled Desmond Deville in 6 at 3:00 (Crescent Kick) by 90.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway won over COT: Super Ghost Machine at 20:05 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 7. |
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| Card 15: Held in East Chicago (Attendance: 627) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane overpowered "Clever" Cliff Cleaver in 12 at 3:59 (Cobra Clutch) by 118.
SOS: The Zombie Queen defeated VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 22:51 (Stunner) by 7.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane won over Duffy Wolfe in 6 at 3:06 (Ankle Lock) by 93.
Northeast title: EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle bested VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 15:58 (Fly Trap) by 6.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway annihilated IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones at 48:41 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 10. |
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| Card 16: Held in Greensboro (Attendance: 464) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane annihilated Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings in 8 at 2:53 (Crescent Kick) by 94.
IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones annihilated VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 27:34 (#1 A-1 Chinese Wok) by 3 (Guest Referee: Dandy Davis).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane beat Curt Gold in 6 at 7:04 (Ankle Lock) by 74.
Mid-Atlantic title: EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay annihilated IMT/67: The New Normal at 29:17 (Pimp Slap) by 5.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway bested COT: Mammoth Machine at 27:01 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 6. |
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| Battle Royal: Held in Casablanca (Attendance: 421) |
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VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson snatched $1,000 after VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway flipped him into the audience.
VIRUS: Hammer picked up $1,100 when VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway catapulted him onto the apron.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway was the winner of the HAL battle royal and its $30,000 prize. |
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