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HIRED ASSASSIN LEAGUE

BULLETIN #68 -- DECEMBER 2022

Card 1: Held in Macon (Attendance: 644)

EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers over Stink Boy at 0:51 (Disqualification: tied opponent up).
IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together destroyed NME: "Under Contract" Max Holloway at 16:57 (Stay Home Save Lives) by 14.
Southwest title: NME: The Rook bested NME: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 29:13 (Camel Clutch) by 1.

Pacific Northwest title: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz defeated NME: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 29:43 (Rear Naked Choke) by 1.

Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Chuck Liddell pinned VIRUS: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz at 59:30 (Rear Naked Choke) by 3.

Card 2: Held in Knoxville (Attendance: 605)

EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers pinned Stink Man at 1:12 (Headbutt) by 112.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers over Peter Lawler at 3:03 (Disqualification: used rope to choke).
NME: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson won over VIRUS: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz at 28:49 (Camel Clutch) by 4 (street fight).
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle bested NME: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 10:02 (Fly Trap) by 11 (non-title).
Main event: NME: Red Checker decked VIRUS: "Under Contract" Chuck Liddell at 32:26 (Camel Clutch) by 2 (Guest Referee: The Super Apartment Super).

Card 3: Held in Cancun (Attendance: 747)

EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers annihilated Bob at 1:50 (Crescent Kick) by 79.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers bested Jimmy Roth at 5:39 (Crescent Kick) by 66.
East Coast title: EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane outmuscled NME: Black Checker at 22:18 (RV is Toast) by 7.

VIRUS: "Under Contract" Andrei Arlovski won over VIRUS: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz at 29:06 (Rear Naked Choke) by 3.
Main event: NME: Red Checker destroyed NME: Black Checker at 59:03 (Camel Clutch) by 3.

Card 4: Held in Melbourne (Attendance: 263)

EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers won over Wally Brick at 1:56 (The Preppy Killer) by 160.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers pinned Steve Shields at 0:15 (Crescent Kick) by 125.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane beat VIRUS: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz at 22:51 (RV is Toast) by 9.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay annihilated VIRUS: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz at 11:05 (Pimp Slap) by 11.
Main event: IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together bested NME: Red Checker at 27:56 (Stay Home Save Lives) by 3.

Card 5: Held in New Delhi (Attendance: 389)

EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers annihilated Martin Dean at 2:02 (Cobra Clutch) by 163.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers decked Phil Dukes at 3:51 (Crescent Kick) by 74.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux decked VIRUS: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz at 16:19 (Camel Clutch) by 13 (non-title).
TV title: EDGE: 976-EVIL bested VIRUS: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz at 10:09 (Evil Calls) by 13.

Main event: IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together bested NME: Hammer at 11:05 (Stay Home Save Lives) by 12.

Card 6: Held in Vienna (Attendance: 420)

EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers annihilated The Fishy Fisherman at 3:32 (Mounted Punches) by 97.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers over Mike Taylor at 27:28 (Count Out).
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux destroyed IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together at 29:54 (Camel Clutch) by 5 (non-title).
IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together defeated VIRUS: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz at 17:15 (Stay Home Save Lives) by 8.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Randy Couture overpowered IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together at 58:22 (Rear Naked Choke) by 1.

Card 7: Held in Zagreb (Attendance: 761)

EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers over "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker at 7:53 (Count Out).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers pinned Fred Brown at 1:39 (Crescent Kick) by 133.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Randy Couture beat VIRUS: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz at 19:06 (Rear Naked Choke) by 9.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz destroyed IMT/AR15: Obey Or Get Canceled the 13th at 29:48 (Rear Naked Choke) by 1.
Main event: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Randy Couture outmuscled NME: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 20:13 (Rear Naked Choke) by 10.

Card 8: Held in Athens (Attendance: 592)

EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers annihilated The Greater Cheese Grater at 1:01 (The Preppy Killer) by 130.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers beat Duffy Wolfe at 2:23 (Crescent Kick) by 121.
Northeast title: EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle overpowered VIRUS: "Under Contract" Randy Couture at 29:07 (Fly Trap) by 1.

VIRUS: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz pinned NME: Hammer at 29:59 (Rear Naked Choke) by 4 (ladder).
Main event: EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay outmuscled VIRUS: "Under Contract" Randy Couture at 43:53 (Pimp Slap) by 2 (Guest Referee: "Clever" Cliff Cleaver).

Card 9: Held in Toledo (Attendance: 952)

EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers defeated Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings at 3:07 (Crescent Kick) by 66.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers annihilated Curt Gold at 4:48 (Crescent Kick) by 98.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Conor McGregor outmuscled VIRUS: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz at 18:50 (Rear Naked Choke) by 6.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay beat VIRUS: "Under Contract" Andrei Arlovski at 19:46 (Pimp Slap) by 8.
Main event: EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay won over VIRUS: "Under Contract" Conor McGregor at 36:40 (Pimp Slap) by 5.

Card 10: Held in Augusta (Attendance: 782)

VIRUS: "Under Contract" Chuck Liddell annihilated Frank N. Stein at 4:28 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 90 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers outmuscled Charlie Ford at 4:41 (Crescent Kick) by 109.
Southeast title: NME: The Bishop bested VIRUS: "Under Contract" Conor McGregor at 29:45 (Camel Clutch) by 2 (Guest Referee: Stink Man).

EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay decked NME: The Queen at 23:28 (Pimp Slap) by 7.
Main event: EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay outmuscled NME: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 32:54 (Pimp Slap) by 7.

Card 11: Held in Dallas (Attendance: 886)

EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers over Frank's Friend Kyle at 4:39 (Disqualification: used belt to hit opponent).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers decked Dr. Blank at 6:29 (Crescent Kick) by 87.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz won over NME: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 28:43 (Rear Naked Choke) by 3 (non-title).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay beat IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 29:57 (Pimp Slap) by 4.
Main event: EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay won over NME: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 39:10 (Pimp Slap) by 14.

Card 12: Held in San Salvador (Attendance: 836)

EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers outmuscled Al the Hacksaw at 6:15 (Crescent Kick) by 58.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers outmuscled Tim McCormick at 3:28 (Crescent Kick) by 107.
West Coast title: NME: The King destroyed NME: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 20:43 (Camel Clutch) by 10.

IMT/AR15: The New Normal beat NME: Hammer at 18:50 (Follow Your Mandates) by 10.
Main event: EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay bested VIRUS: "Under Contract" Jorge Masvidal at 46:45 (Pimp Slap) by 5.

Card 13: Held in Compton (Attendance: 755)

VIRUS: "Under Contract" Randy Couture bested NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 29:23 (Rear Naked Choke) by 5.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers beat Dandy Davis at 5:12 (Crescent Kick) by 76.
NME: Red Checker destroyed VIRUS: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz at 28:57 (Camel Clutch) by 5.
NME: "Under Contract" Max Holloway* and "Under Contract" Anderson Silva over Tim McCormick and Outlaw Ben Slick* at 6:54 (Count Out).
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux beat EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 59:04 (Camel Clutch) by 2 (Guest Referee: EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers).

Card 14: Held in New York City (Attendance: 793)

NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn won over VIRUS: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz at 28:29 (Superplex) by 4.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers bested Outlaw Ben Slick at 2:34 (Crescent Kick) by 93.
EDGE: 976-EVIL overpowered NME: Red Checker at 20:35 (Evil Calls) by 8 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers and 976-EVIL* bested IMT/AR15: Flatten the Curve* and Obey Or Get Canceled the 13th at 27:03 (Evil Calls) by 3.
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux defeated EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 27:10 (Camel Clutch) by 6.

Card 15: Held in Englewood (Attendance: 412)

VIRUS: "Under Contract" Conor McGregor decked NME: "Under Contract" Max Holloway at 10:46 (Rear Naked Choke) by 12.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers won over VIRUS: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz at 24:59 (The Preppy Killer) by 7.
NME: Black Checker defeated VIRUS: "Under Contract" Tito Ortiz at 27:29 (Camel Clutch) by 2 (Guest Referee: Fred Brown).
TV Tag-team titles: EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay* and Martin the Fly Brundle pinned IMT/AR15: Flatten the Curve* and Obey Or Get Canceled the 13th at 28:28 (Pimp Slap) by 2 (Guest Referee: VIRUS: "Under Contract" Jorge Masvidal).

Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux defeated EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 43:23 (Camel Clutch) by 4.

Card 16: Held in Beijing (Attendance: 376)

EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay over NME: "Under Contract" Max Holloway at 4:44 (Count Out).
Mid-Atlantic title: EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers annihilated NME: Hammer at 14:42 (The Preppy Killer) by 11.

NME: Black Checker decked IMT/AR15: Flatten the Curve at 29:12 (Camel Clutch) by 2 (Guest Referee: VIRUS: Pedro Dominguez).
TV Six-man titles: NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn, "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre*, and Hammer outmuscled Stink Boy*, Phil Dukes, and Vincent Valor at 2:06 (Cross-Armbar) by 81.

Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux bested IMT/AR15: Obey Or Get Canceled the 13th at 33:26 (Camel Clutch) by 14.

Battle Royal: Held in Detroit (Attendance: 366)

NME: "Under Contract" Max Holloway was given $1,000 when EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay threw him out.
NME: Hammer picked up $1,100 after NME: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson catapulted him out.
NME: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson earned a quick $1,200 when EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers tossed him out.
NME: "Under Contract" BJ Penn received $1,300 in imaginary earnings after being flipped out by EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux.
NME: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva won $1,400 when EDGE: 976-EVIL catapulted him over the top rope.
NME: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre pocketed $1,500 after he was thrown out by EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle won $1,600 in imaginary money when he got thrown onto the steps by EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane.
EDGE: 976-EVIL was given $1,700 when he got catapulted outside the ring by EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers was paid $1,800 when EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay catapulted him out.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane took $1,900 after getting flipped out by EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay received $2,000 after EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux threw him onto the steps.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux was the winner of the battle royal and the $30,000 purse.

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