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HIRED ASSASSIN LEAGUE |
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| BULLETIN #125 -- SPRING 2026 |
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| Card 1: Held in Shannon (Attendance: 386) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay beat Stink Boy in 11 at 2:05 (Superplex) by 88.
Æ: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson annihilated EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 28:00 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 5.
FREEDOM FUNZION: Jeremy "Kane" Potvin defeated FREEDOM FUNZION: Mike Adams "The Canada Giant" at 29:28 (The Potvin Driver) by 4 (Return Match).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay over Dandy Davis in 2 at 14:39 (Count Out).
SOS: The Zombie Prince destroyed IMT/67: Flatten the Curve at 27:08 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 2.
Main event: EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers pinned IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones at 57:52 (The Preppy Killer) by 1. |
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| Card 2: Held in Minneapolis (Attendance: 685) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay overpowered Stink Man in 12 at 2:34 (Stunner) by 109.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers defeated Fred Brown in 6 at 1:16 (Hammerlock) by 124 (non-title).
IMT/67: We Are In This Together bested Jason Voorhees at 4:46 (The Cycle of Death) by 33 (Return Match).
COT: Mammoth Machine outmuscled Outlaw Ben Slick in 6 at 6:16 (Mounted Punches) by 95.
IMT/67: The New Normal* and He-Man Most Powerful Man in the Universe over Stink Boy* and Bob in 2 at 1:11 (Disqualification: hit ref).
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Prince defeated EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 53:50 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 5. |
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| Card 3: Held in Hong Kong (Attendance: 754) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay beat Bob in 6 at 4:05 (Hammerlock) by 84.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers defeated EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 28:16 (The Preppy Killer) by 2.
Pacific Northwest title: Æ: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson decked COT: Mammoth Machine at 27:46 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 4.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay annihilated Outlaw Ben Slick in 6 at 3:35 (Hammerlock) by 97.
IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones* and Flatten the Curve defeated Stink Man* and "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker in 10 at 2:29 (Shoulder Breaker) by 103.
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Queen defeated SOS: The Zombie Prince at 45:44 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 1. |
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| Card 4: Held in Fort Myers (Attendance: 883) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay pinned Wally Brick in 6 at 5:11 (Hammerlock) by 87.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux destroyed EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 29:23 (Boston Crab) by 3.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay beat Peter Lawler in 6 at 4:08 (Hammerlock) by 97.
Mid-Atlantic title: Æ: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre overpowered EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 16:28 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 6.
TV Tag-team titles: Æ: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson and "Under Contract" Anderson Silva* over The Greater Cheese Grater and Dandy Davis* in 2 at 6:22 (Count Out).
Main event: Æ: "Under Contract" Max Holloway drew SOS: The Zombie Queen (Time Limit). |
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| Card 5: Held in Boulder (Attendance: 880) |
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IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones overpowered Martin Dean in 6 at 6:33 (Hammerlock) by 73 (non-title).
SOS: The Zombie Court Jester won over EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 27:21 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 2.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay pinned Jimmy Roth in 6 at 6:09 (Hammerlock) by 70.
SOS: The Zombie Prince won over EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 27:00 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 2.
Jason Voorhees and He-Man Most Powerful Man in the Universe* annihilated FREEDOM FUNZION: Jeremy "Kane" Potvin and SOS/OMR: Demolition Man* at 28:21 (The Thunder Punch) by 3.
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Queen destroyed EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 38:01 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 8 (Guest Referee: Wally Brick). |
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| Card 6: Held in Pahrump (Attendance: 440) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay bested The Fishy Fisherman in 8 at 1:37 (Shoulder Breaker) by 92.
SOS: The Zombie Queen decked EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 16:24 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 6 (non-title).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay decked Steve Shields in 6 at 2:31 (Hammerlock) by 117.
The Apex Predator won over Gary El Gordo in 6 at 6:26 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 82.
IMT/67: We Are In This Together, The New Normal*, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th overpowered "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker*, Mike Taylor, and Fred Brown in 6 at 4:44 (Headbutt) by 89.
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Queen annihilated IMT/67: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 27:47 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 2. |
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| Card 7: Held in Bordeaux (Attendance: 994) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay decked "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker in 9 at 3:52 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 119.
Æ: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre annihilated EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 27:53 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 4.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay bested Phil Dukes in 6 at 2:14 (Hammerlock) by 80.
Southeast title: Æ: Hammer overpowered SOS: The Zombie Court Jester at 28:03 (Hammered) by 3.
IMT/67: We Are In This Together, The New Normal*, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th pinned COT: Shadow Machine, Jurassic Machine, and Mammoth Machine* in 6 at 24:41 (Headbutt) by 9.
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Queen destroyed COT: Mammoth Machine at 27:03 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 5. |
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| Card 8: Held in San Diego (Attendance: 825) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay over Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings in 1 at 27:09 (Count Out).
COT: Super Ghost Machine bested EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 28:59 (Elrod Oil Check) by 3.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay decked Mike Taylor in 6 at 0:58 (Hammerlock) by 109.
SOS: The Zombie Knight decked COT/MULES: Roosevelt Gunns in 14 at 15:07 (Boston Crab) by 20.
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Queen pinned EDGE: 976-EVIL at 57:11 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 4. |
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| Card 9: Held in St. Louis (Attendance: 973) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay beat Frank's Friend Kyle in 6 at 5:56 (Hammerlock) by 60.
COT: Mammoth Machine won over EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 28:00 (Mammoth Thumb to the Eye) by 1.
COT: Mammoth Machine destroyed Fred Brown in 6 at 4:12 (Mounted Punches) by 122.
IMT/67: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th won over SOS: The Zombie Knight at 29:30 (12th Booster) by 2.
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Queen annihilated SOS: The Zombie Court Jester at 48:49 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 4. |
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| Card 10: Held in Lincoln (Attendance: 839) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay defeated Al the Hacksaw in 6 at 5:51 (Hammerlock) by 75.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay bested EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 27:07 (Pimp Slap) by 1.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay outmuscled Fred Brown in 6 at 2:19 (Hammerlock) by 124.
SOS: The Zombie King outmuscled COT: Mammoth Machine at 27:17 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 2.
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Queen over COT/MULES: Roosevelt Gunns in 11 at 6:56 (Disqualification: hidden spike). |
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| Card 11: Held in Syracuse (Attendance: 434) |
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Æ: "Under Contract" BJ Penn defeated SOS: The Zombie Princess at 28:40 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 1.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle destroyed EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 28:24 (Fly Trap) by 4.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay won over Duffy Wolfe in 6 at 4:22 (Hammerlock) by 100.
West Coast title: SOS: The Zombie King destroyed IMT/67: We Are In This Together at 29:45 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 2.
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Queen annihilated IMT/67: We Are In This Together at 43:30 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 5. |
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| Card 12: Held in Pensacola (Attendance: 450) |
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Rocky Mountains title: Æ: "Under Contract" BJ Penn overpowered EDGE: 976-EVIL at 29:28 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 2.
EDGE: 976-EVIL pinned EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 29:12 (Evil Calls) by 2.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay annihilated Curt Gold in 6 at 4:42 (Hammerlock) by 83.
SOS: The Zombie Queen outmuscled EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 27:41 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 5.
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Queen outmuscled Æ: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 54:18 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 2. |
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| Card 13: Held in Durban (Attendance: 502) |
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Æ: "Under Contract" Max Holloway destroyed SOS: The Zombie Princess at 28:39 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 3.
IMT/67: We Are In This Together annihilated EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 28:29 (The Cycle of Death) by 1.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay overpowered Charlie Ford in 6 at 3:10 (Hammerlock) by 104.
Æ: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva outmuscled COT/MULES: Roosevelt Gunns at 16:02 (Camel Clutch) by 8 (Guest Referee: Charlie Ford).
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Queen pinned EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 51:23 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 3. |
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| Card 14: Held in Munich (Attendance: 720) |
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TV title: Æ: "Under Contract" Max Holloway won over EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 23:41 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 6.
IMT/67: Flatten the Curve decked EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 29:03 (Recommended Mandatory Jab) by 3.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay outmuscled Dr. Blank in 6 at 2:32 (Hammerlock) by 98.
Southwest title: IMT/67: The New Normal defeated COT/MULES: Roosevelt Gunns at 8:47 (Point Flow Passport) by 27.
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Queen decked EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 36:57 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 5. |
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| Card 15: Held in Kobe (Attendance: 753) |
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Æ: "Under Contract" Max Holloway overpowered EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle at 28:03 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 2.
IMT/67: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th decked EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 27:26 (12th Booster) by 4.
COT: Mammoth Machine destroyed Tim McCormick in 6 at 4:53 (Mounted Punches) by 88.
SOS/OMR: Demolition Man overpowered He-Man Most Powerful Man in the Universe at 27:24 (Exploder) by 3.
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Queen destroyed COT: Super Ghost Machine at 29:56 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 3. |
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| Card 16: Held in Greenwich Village (Attendance: 504) |
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SOS: The Zombie Princess won over EDGE: 976-EVIL at 28:47 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 1.
SOS: The Zombie Prince annihilated EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 28:57 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 5.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay over Tim McCormick in 1 at 1:35 (Count Out).
IMT/67: The New Normal bested COT: Mammoth Machine at 28:40 (Point Flow Passport) by 3.
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Queen won over IMT/67: Flatten the Curve at 31:47 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 3. |
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| Interleague Matches |
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The Apex Predator (HAL) drew The New Missing Link (NBL) at 5:22 (double disqualification).
Flex Lewis (HAL) defeated The New Killer Khan (NBL) at 29:33 (The Flex Cuttor) by 5. |
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| Battle Royal: Held in Sydney (Attendance: 396) |
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Æ: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva picked up $1,000 when he was catapulted out of the ring by Æ: "Under Contract" Max Holloway.
COT: Mammoth Machine collected a quick $1,100 after being thrown into some fans at ringside by Æ: Hammer.
COT: Super Ghost Machine won $1,200 after Æ: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre threw him out.
Æ: "Under Contract" Max Holloway earned $1,300 after Æ: "Under Contract" BJ Penn flipped him out.
Æ: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson and Æ: "Under Contract" BJ Penn made $1,400 and $1,500, respectively, when both were tossed over the top rope by Æ: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre.
Æ: Hammer was given a quick $1,600 when he was tossed out by Æ: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre.
Æ: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre was the winner of the battle royal and the $30,000 prize. |
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