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HIRED ASSASSIN LEAGUE

BULLETIN #109 -- SPRING 2025

Card 1: Held in Donegal (Attendance: 14,599)

EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers outmuscled Stink Boy in 9 at 6:59 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 81 (non-title).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones annihilated The Super Apartment Super in 9 at 4:35 (Back Elbow Smash) by 106.
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones over Mr. Magic in 3 at 3:55 (Count Out).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers decked Duffy Wolfe in 6 at 4:13 (Cross-Armbar) by 109 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers won over Tim "Buck Tooth" Dale in 6 at 2:30 (Cross-Armbar) by 101 (non-title).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones overpowered Gold Bond in 9 at 3:25 (Back Elbow Smash) by 100.
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones overpowered Flex Lewis in 6 at 6:39 (Fallaway Slam) by 75.
Main event: EDGE: 976-EVIL won over EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 28:11 (Evil Calls) by 1.

Card 2: Held in Cape Town (Attendance: 6,636)

IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones outmuscled Stink Boy in 11 at 2:42 (Superplex) by 112.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers annihilated "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker in 9 at 1:38 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 146 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers won over Baby Face Morgan in 6 at 2:36 (Cross-Armbar) by 106 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers outmuscled Curt Gold in 6 at 6:04 (Cross-Armbar) by 92 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers over Professor Wrassle in 1 at 15:45 (Count Out) (non-title).
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux outmuscled SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume at 19:15 (Cobra Clutch) by 7.
Pacific Northwest title: COT: Shadow Machine won over IMT/47: We Are In This Together at 28:32 (Shadowban) by 2.

Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux overpowered EDGE: 976-EVIL at 33:54 (Cobra Clutch) by 5.

Card 3: Held in Anniston (Attendance: 16,075)

EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers beat Stink Man in 12 at 3:25 (Brainbuster) by 108 (non-title).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones pinned "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker in 9 at 0:42 (Back Elbow Smash) by 147.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers destroyed Zee Strangler in 13 at 0:55 (DDT) by 113 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers beat Charlie Ford in 6 at 3:21 (Cross-Armbar) by 109 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers annihilated Roddy Pumpernickel in 6 at 3:03 (Cross-Armbar) by 105 (non-title).
Rocky Mountains title: IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones bested SOS/SIENAMART: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar at 15:49 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 7.

IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones over Mr. 1-2-3 in 1 at 2:00 (Count Out).
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux bested SOS/SIENAMART: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge at 24:11 (Cobra Clutch) by 6.

Card 4: Held in Barcelona (Attendance: 9,939)

IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones beat Stink Man in 12 at 0:47 (Stunner) by 109.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers overpowered The Greater Cheese Grater at 2:49 (The Preppy Killer) by 115 (non-title).
Mid-Atlantic title: SOS/SIENAMART: Siena Martin destroyed CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn in 14 at 8:07 (Cobra Clutch) by 34.

EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers defeated Dr. Blank in 6 at 5:34 (Cross-Armbar) by 86 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers decked Henry O. in 6 at 0:37 (Cross-Armbar) by 109 (non-title).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay bested SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 28:44 (Pimp Slap) by 1.
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones decked Vincent Valor in 6 at 6:34 (Fallaway Slam) by 70.
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux bested EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 41:59 (Cobra Clutch) by 4.

Card 5: Held in Sydney (Attendance: 14,770)

EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers destroyed Bob in 6 at 3:47 (Cross-Armbar) by 80 (non-title).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones decked The Greater Cheese Grater at 2:44 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 116.
SOS/SIENAMART: Deathmatch Danielle from HR overpowered EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 28:45 (Shatter with Reesemart Light Tube) by 3.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers beat Tim McCormick in 6 at 6:00 (Cross-Armbar) by 90 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers annihilated Quentin Parker in 6 at 3:40 (Cross-Armbar) by 116 (non-title).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones outmuscled Peter Lawler in 6 at 6:54 (Fallaway Slam) by 86.
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones over Johnny Ice in 3 at 3:31 (Disqualification: pushed ref).
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux annihilated CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn in 7 at 37:29 (Palm Strike) by 11.

Card 6: Held in Naples (Attendance: 11,949)

IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones overpowered Bob in 6 at 2:31 (Fallaway Slam) by 75.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers bested "Clever" Cliff Cleaver at 0:57 (The Preppy Killer) by 123 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers tied SOS/SIENAMART: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge at 7:26 (Double Disqualification).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers won over Dandy Davis in 6 at 3:28 (Cross-Armbar) by 83 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers decked Gary El Gordo in 6 at 1:30 (Cross-Armbar) by 88 (non-title).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones beat Jimmy Roth in 6 at 6:19 (Fallaway Slam) by 61.
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones over Louie Lockjaw in 2 at 2:54 (Disqualification: hidden spike).
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux defeated EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle at 35:33 (Cobra Clutch) by 1.

Card 7: Held in Wilmington (Attendance: 17,363)

EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers overpowered Wally Brick in 6 at 2:31 (Cross-Armbar) by 96 (non-title).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones decked "Clever" Cliff Cleaver in 10 at 4:17 (Hammerlock) by 111.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers over Killmonger in 3 at 6:56 (Count Out) (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers over Outlaw Ben Slick in 1 at 29:04 (Count Out) (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers pinned "Unbreakable" Freddie Diamond in 6 at 2:13 (Cross-Armbar) by 86 (non-title).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones overpowered Steve Shields in 6 at 2:57 (Fallaway Slam) by 124.
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones annihilated The Manster in 6 at 6:03 (Fallaway Slam) by 93.
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux annihilated IMT/47: We Are In This Together at 57:55 (Cobra Clutch) by 4.

Card 8: Held in Cologne (Attendance: 12,519)

IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones won over Wally Brick in 6 at 5:00 (Fallaway Slam) by 91.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers bested Froggy Froggyson in 6 at 10:14 (Cross-Armbar) by 49 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers won over Drew Blood in 6 at 6:36 (Cross-Armbar) by 93 (non-title).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane decked EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 28:47 (RV is Toast) by 4.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers decked Runaway Circus Clown in 6 at 7:28 (Cross-Armbar) by 72 (non-title).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones decked Phil Dukes in 6 at 1:59 (Fallaway Slam) by 77.
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones outmuscled The Glass Jaw in 6 at 6:45 (Fallaway Slam) by 89.
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux outmuscled SOS/SIENAMART: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar at 12:39 (Cobra Clutch) by 12.

Card 9: Held in Tulsa (Attendance: 11,638)

EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers destroyed Randy Whitfield in 6 at 4:23 (Cross-Armbar) by 98 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers pinned Train Hopper in 6 at 4:39 (Cross-Armbar) by 65 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers annihilated Gordon Bomber in 6 at 5:41 (Cross-Armbar) by 77 (non-title).
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux destroyed EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 20:47 (Cobra Clutch) by 6 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers beat Jason Adams, Jr. in 6 at 1:48 (Cross-Armbar) by 96 (non-title).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones bested Mike Taylor in 6 at 4:09 (Fallaway Slam) by 104.
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones annihilated Professor Wrassle in 6 at 3:28 (Fallaway Slam) by 95.
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux won over EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 35:03 (Cobra Clutch) by 2.

Card 10: Held in Calgary (Attendance: 19,392)

IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones destroyed Randy Whitfield in 6 at 6:43 (Fallaway Slam) by 93.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers over Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings in 3 at 2:51 (Disqualification: hit opponent with microphone) (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers bested Opposite Man in 8 at 0:39 (Headbutt) by 104 (non-title).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones outmuscled EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 28:43 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 1.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers decked Desmond Deville in 6 at 3:31 (Cross-Armbar) by 96 (non-title).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones annihilated Fred Brown in 6 at 1:04 (Fallaway Slam) by 133.
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones over Roddy Pumpernickel in 1 at 3:33 (Count Out).
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux pinned COT: Order Machine at 52:49 (Cobra Clutch) by 4.

Card 11: Held in Laramie (Attendance: 19,171)

IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones won over Martin Dean at 0:17 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 167.
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones won over Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings in 8 at 3:50 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 111.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers pinned SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume at 29:25 (The Preppy Killer) by 1.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers pinned "Martial Arts Marsupial" Kangafu in 6 at 2:02 (Cross-Armbar) by 101 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers won over Max "Two Punch" Powers in 6 at 2:57 (Cross-Armbar) by 77 (non-title).
EDGE: 976-EVIL outmuscled Fred Brown in 6 at 0:50 (Cross-Armbar) by 138 (non-title).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones decked Henry O. in 6 at 4:15 (Fallaway Slam) by 104.
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux decked SOS/SIENAMART: Deathmatch Danielle from HR at 42:59 (Cobra Clutch) by 3.

Card 12: Held in Cincinnati (Attendance: 10,895)

EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers over The Fishy Fisherman in 4 at 8:10 (Disqualification: nail file) (non-title).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones outmuscled Frank N. Stein in 8 at 6:32 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 98.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers decked SOS/SIENAMART: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar at 17:53 (The Preppy Killer) by 6.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers beat Mr. 1-2-3 in 6 at 2:18 (Cross-Armbar) by 101 (non-title).
COT: Jurassic Machine decked EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 29:24 (Jurassic Jawbuster) by 3.
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones overpowered Duffy Wolfe in 6 at 2:01 (Fallaway Slam) by 104.
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones destroyed Max "Two Punch" Powers in 6 at 4:11 (Fallaway Slam) by 72.
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux decked SOS/SIENAMART: Siena Martin at 42:45 (Cobra Clutch) by 2.

Card 13: Held in Lynchburg (Attendance: 8,912)

IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones over The Fishy Fisherman in 5 at 6:49 (Disqualification: nail file).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers won over Frank's Friend Kyle in 9 at 2:47 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 97 (non-title).
SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly annihilated EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 27:23 (Bear Hug) by 1.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers pinned Vincent Valor in 6 at 3:16 (Cross-Armbar) by 75 (non-title).
COT: Order Machine bested EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 29:45 (Order of Magnitude) by 2.
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones over Curt Gold in 1 at 7:26 (Disqualification: used powder).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones defeated SOS/AI: The Demon at 7:49 (No Ticket No Laundry) by 26.
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux annihilated SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume at 47:04 (Cobra Clutch) by 7.

Card 14: Held in Englewood (Attendance: 15,790)

EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers won over Drake in 9 at 1:02 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 138 (non-title).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones won over Frank's Friend Kyle in 9 at 4:03 (Back Elbow Smash) by 98.
SOS/SIENAMART: Siena Martin defeated EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 29:52 (Smash with Reesemart Microphone) by 4.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers defeated Johnny Ice in 6 at 3:19 (Cross-Armbar) by 70 (non-title).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay beat EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 27:01 (Pimp Slap) by 2.
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones outmuscled Charlie Ford in 6 at 2:36 (Fallaway Slam) by 104.
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones overpowered He-Man Most Powerful Man in the Universe in 14 at 3:58 (Cobra Clutch) by 117.
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux pinned IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 45:56 (Cobra Clutch) by 5.

Card 15: Held in Detroit (Attendance: 11,921)

IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones outmuscled Drake in 9 at 2:00 (Back Elbow Smash) by 139.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers destroyed Al the Hacksaw in 7 at 4:01 (Palm Strike) by 77 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers beat Peter Lawler in 6 at 1:31 (Cross-Armbar) by 91 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers over Louie Lockjaw in 2 at 8:16 (Disqualification: used belt to hit opponent) (non-title).
TV title: EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle overpowered EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 27:31 (Fly Trap) by 5.

IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones overpowered Dr. Blank in 6 at 5:23 (Fallaway Slam) by 81.
COT: Order Machine outmuscled IMT/47: Flatten the Curve at 29:46 (Order of Magnitude) by 2.
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux won over COT: Super Ghost Machine at 41:10 (Cobra Clutch) by 3.

Card 16: Held in Opa-locka (Attendance: 14,297)

EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers over Bruce Vanquish in 4 at 10:47 (Count Out) (non-title).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones decked Al the Hacksaw in 7 at 2:41 (Shoulder Breaker) by 74.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers beat Jimmy Roth in 6 at 4:15 (Cross-Armbar) by 66 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers annihilated Lefty O'Hooligan in 6 at 4:52 (Cross-Armbar) by 75 (non-title).
IMT/47: We Are In This Together beat EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 28:21 (Mandatory Volunteer Jab) by 2.
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones decked Tim McCormick in 6 at 2:14 (Fallaway Slam) by 85.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay annihilated IMT/47: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 29:58 (Pimp Slap) by 2.
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux annihilated SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 53:47 (Cobra Clutch) by 5.

Card 17: Held in Yonkers (Attendance: 6,170)

IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones decked Bruce Vanquish in 8 at 2:50 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 53.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers overpowered The Science Teacher in 6 at 3:22 (Cross-Armbar) by 80 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers over Steve Shields in 1 at 4:06 (Count Out) (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers defeated The Manster in 6 at 2:51 (Cross-Armbar) by 98 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers tied IMT/47: Flatten the Curve (Time Limit).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones decked Dandy Davis in 6 at 2:33 (Fallaway Slam) by 78.
COT: Order Machine* and Chaos Machine decked IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones* and Flatten the Curve at 28:51 (Spike Piledriver) by 5.

Card 18: Held in Utica (Attendance: 18,192)

EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers over Neil B. Formee in 2 at 19:09 (Disqualification: used steel chair) (non-title).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones won over The Science Teacher in 6 at 1:32 (Fallaway Slam) by 75.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers beat Phil Dukes in 6 at 1:43 (Cross-Armbar) by 82 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers bested Winky Williams in 6 at 3:25 (Cross-Armbar) by 117 (non-title).
COT: Chaos Machine outmuscled EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 28:02 (Chaos Theory) by 2.
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones defeated Outlaw Ben Slick in 6 at 2:59 (Fallaway Slam) by 88.
TV Six-man titles: IMT/47: We Are In This Together, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th* beat Wally Brick, "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker, and "Clever" Cliff Cleaver* in 13 at 6:10 (Superplex) by 62.

Card 19: Held in Manchester (Attendance: 15,975)

IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones over Neil B. Formee in 2 at 2:47 (Disqualification: used rope to choke).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones over Rollercoaster Randy in 1 at 2:27 (Disqualification: used powder).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers decked Mike Taylor in 6 at 4:13 (Cross-Armbar) by 109 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers overpowered The Glass Jaw in 6 at 6:44 (Cross-Armbar) by 94 (non-title).
SOS/SIENAMART: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge tied IMT/47: The New Normal at 13:36 (Double Count Out).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane overpowered IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 28:35 (RV is Toast) by 3.
League Six-man titles: COT: Shadow Machine*, Jurassic Machine, and Mammoth Machine outmuscled IMT/47: We Are In This Together, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th* at 17:32 (Doomsday Device) by 9.

Card 20: Held in Pineville (Attendance: 12,860)

EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers decked The Super Apartment Super in 9 at 2:09 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 105 (non-title).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones overpowered K-Dog in 10 at 0:45 (Hammerlock) by 135.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers annihilated Fred Brown in 6 at 0:40 (Cross-Armbar) by 138 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers decked Charles "Chuckles" McLean in 6 at 3:14 (Cross-Armbar) by 100 (non-title).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones decked Foreman Frank in 8 at 0:59 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 109.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane outmuscled COT: Mammoth Machine at 29:15 (RV is Toast) by 4.

Interleague Matches

VIRUS/3LITE/TNF: "Mr. Badd" Logan (GCL) decked FREEDOM FUNZION: Jeremy "Kane" Potvin (HAL) at 4:02 (The New Bird RKO) by 71.
TheNewFreebirds: Samson (GCL) bested Jason Voorhees (HAL) at 27:44 (The Samson's Deathlock) by 3.
Jason Voorhees (HAL) overpowered VIRUS/3LITE/TNF: "Mr. Badd" Logan (GCL) at 29:51 (The Victim) by 5.
TheNewFreebirds: Samson (GCL) decked FREEDOM FUNZION: Jeremy "Kane" Potvin (HAL) in 8 at 5:35 (Big Boot) by 62.

Battle Royal: Held in Zacatecas (Attendance: 15,224)

EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers collected $1,000 after getting thrown out by EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay.
EDGE: 976-EVIL earned $1,100 when EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux threw him onto the announcer's table.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay earned $1,200 after being thrown out of the ring by EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane snatched $1,300 after he was hurled into some fans at ringside by EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle was awarded $1,400 after he was thrown out by EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux was the winner of the battle royal and its $40,000 prize.

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