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HIRED ASSASSIN LEAGUE |
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| BULLETIN #96 -- JULY 2024 |
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| Card 1: Held in Amsterdam (Attendance: 2,508) |
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SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly defeated Stink Boy in 9 at 7:36 (Headbutt) by 65.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux over "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker in 2 at 19:09 (Count Out) (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers outmuscled SOS/TWGWK: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman at 27:10 (The Preppy Killer) by 1.
SOS/TWGWK: Man in Burreeseto Costume bested Fred Brown in 6 at 1:48 (Palm Strike) by 127.
COT: Order Machine overpowered SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 28:21 (Order of Magnitude) by 1.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux outmuscled Outlaw Ben Slick in 6 at 1:58 (Ankle Lock) by 101 (non-title).
COT: Super Ghost Machine decked EDGE: The King at 4:23 (Devil Windmill Superplex) by 26.
Main event: EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers bested EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 52:44 (The Preppy Killer) by 3. |
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| Card 2: Held in Rock Creek (Attendance: 5,683) |
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EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux over Stink Boy in 3 at 10:47 (Disqualification: hit ref) (non-title).
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux over The Greater Cheese Grater in 1 at 7:13 (Disqualification: loaded elbow pad) (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers tied EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane (Time Limit).
SOS/TWGWK: Man in Burreeseto Costume drew COT: Mammoth Machine at 18:31 (Double Count Out).
IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together beat SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 20:31 (Booster Chair Shot) by 8.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane overpowered CURE: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 29:36 (RV is Toast) by 1.
COT: Super Ghost Machine over EDGE: The Queen in 8 at 8:57 (Disqualification: pushed ref).
Main event: EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers bested EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle at 29:50 (The Preppy Killer) by 1. |
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| Card 3: Held in St. Paul (Attendance: 5,727) |
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EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux over Stink Man in 1 at 4:05 (Disqualification: hidden spike) (non-title).
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux outmuscled "Clever" Cliff Cleaver at 0:24 (Camel Clutch) by 126 (non-title).
IMT/AR15: Elrodhausen annihilated EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 27:30 (Ching Chong Hausen) by 4.
COT: Chaos Machine beat SOS/TWGWK: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar at 19:43 (Chaos Theory) by 6.
SOS/TWGWK: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman tied COT: Jurassic Machine at 15:10 (Double Disqualification).
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux bested Professor Wrassle in 6 at 2:56 (Ankle Lock) by 94 (non-title).
Southwest title: IMT/AR15: The New Normal won over COT: Jurassic Machine at 28:20 (Pinfall from Home) by 4.
Main event: IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th decked EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 30:55 (5 Star Meltzer Gaslighting) by 6. |
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| Card 4: Held in Houston (Attendance: 2,505) |
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SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly won over Bob in 6 at 6:44 (Palm Strike) by 77.
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly bested Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings in 8 at 1:11 (Flying Dropkick) by 100.
CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre won over EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 28:31 (Superplex) by 5 (Guest Referee: Mike Taylor).
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly beat Peter Lawler in 6 at 6:26 (Palm Strike) by 95.
Rocky Mountains title: CURE: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson beat IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together at 29:02 (Superplex) by 1.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux won over Henry O. in 6 at 3:57 (Ankle Lock) by 112 (non-title).
Pacific Northwest title: CURE: Hammer overpowered COT: Order Machine at 21:28 (Hammered) by 8.
Main event: IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th destroyed EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 43:42 (5 Star Meltzer Gaslighting) by 6. |
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| Card 5: Held in Destin (Attendance: 5,150) |
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EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux pinned Bob in 6 at 7:59 (Ankle Lock) by 73 (non-title).
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux won over Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings in 8 at 3:26 (Back Elbow Smash) by 101 (non-title).
COT: Super Ghost Machine bested EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 28:05 (Devil Windmill Superplex) by 3.
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly outmuscled Jimmy Roth in 6 at 5:06 (Palm Strike) by 78.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux won over Peter Lawler in 6 at 1:35 (Ankle Lock) by 91 (non-title).
COT: Super Ghost Machine over SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer in 7 at 18:29 (Disqualification: loaded elbow pad).
IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th won over EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 29:38 (5 Star Meltzer Gaslighting) by 3.
Main event: IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th beat CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 35:17 (5 Star Meltzer Gaslighting) by 1. |
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| Card 6: Held in Milwaukee (Attendance: 3,826) |
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EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux over Wally Brick in 1 at 3:56 (Disqualification: used brass knuckles) (non-title).
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly pinned Frank's Friend Kyle at 0:33 (Bear Hug) by 119.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers decked COT: Jurassic Machine at 27:20 (The Preppy Killer) by 1.
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly pinned Steve Shields in 6 at 1:32 (Palm Strike) by 120.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux decked Jimmy Roth in 6 at 6:48 (Ankle Lock) by 74 (non-title).
COT: Super Ghost Machine outmuscled SOS/OMR: War Machine at 8:29 (Devil Windmill Superplex) by 29.
IMT/AR15: Flatten the Curve pinned EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle at 29:50 (Wuhan Flu Clutch) by 4.
Main event: IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th annihilated COT: Chaos Machine at 37:47 (5 Star Meltzer Gaslighting) by 2. |
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| Card 7: Held in Lynn (Attendance: 6,299) |
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EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers annihilated Martin Dean at 1:43 (The Preppy Killer) by 168 (non-title).
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux beat Frank's Friend Kyle at 0:37 (Camel Clutch) by 120 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers bested COT: Order Machine at 28:14 (The Preppy Killer) by 3.
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly pinned Phil Dukes in 6 at 2:51 (Palm Strike) by 99.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux won over Steve Shields in 6 at 2:19 (Ankle Lock) by 116 (non-title).
COT: Super Ghost Machine defeated EDGE: Reed Offerman at 6:54 (Devil Windmill Superplex) by 27.
COT: Chaos Machine won over EDGE: 976-EVIL at 27:33 (Chaos Theory) by 2.
Main event: IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th pinned COT: Order Machine at 40:38 (5 Star Meltzer Gaslighting) by 9. |
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| Card 8: Held in Pretoria (Attendance: 9,075) |
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SOS/TWGWK: Man in Burreeseto Costume destroyed Martin Dean in 6 at 1:58 (Palm Strike) by 86.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux defeated Al the Hacksaw in 6 at 6:11 (Ankle Lock) by 63 (non-title).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay won over EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 27:56 (Pimp Slap) by 3.
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly destroyed Mike Taylor in 6 at 4:55 (Palm Strike) by 111.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux pinned Phil Dukes in 6 at 4:32 (Ankle Lock) by 95 (non-title).
COT: Super Ghost Machine destroyed EDGE: Boxersaur Briefs in 6 at 11:44 (Shoulder Breaker) by 12.
COT: Shadow Machine* and Super Ghost Machine bested Martin Dean* and Fred Brown in 6 at 4:32 (Back Elbow Smash) by 87.
Main event: IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th destroyed IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together at 46:18 (5 Star Meltzer Gaslighting) by 2. |
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| Card 9: Held in Arlington (Attendance: 3,758) |
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SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly annihilated Martin Dean in 6 at 2:44 (Palm Strike) by 86.
CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn destroyed EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 29:18 (Superplex) by 5 (I quit) (Guest Referee: The Apex Predator).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers decked EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle at 28:20 (The Preppy Killer) by 1.
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly overpowered Fred Brown in 6 at 2:53 (Palm Strike) by 127.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux decked Mike Taylor in 6 at 0:37 (Ankle Lock) by 107 (non-title).
COT: Super Ghost Machine annihilated Flex Powersnap at 4:02 (Devil Windmill Superplex) by 27.
COT: Jurassic Machine* and Mammoth Machine beat Martin Dean* and Fred Brown in 6 at 4:57 (Back Elbow Smash) by 83.
Main event: IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th overpowered SOS/TWGWK: Man in Burreeseto Costume at 31:57 (5 Star Meltzer Gaslighting) by 3. |
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| Card 10: Held in Franklin Township (Attendance: 5,054) |
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EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux destroyed Martin Dean at 0:16 (Camel Clutch) by 165 (non-title).
CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway decked EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 29:00 (Camel Clutch) by 1 (street fight).
EDGE: 976-EVIL pinned EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 29:51 (Evil Calls) by 2.
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly decked Duffy Wolfe in 6 at 1:10 (Palm Strike) by 113.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux pinned Fred Brown in 6 at 0:34 (Ankle Lock) by 123 (non-title).
COT: Super Ghost Machine destroyed Brutal Bud Rose at 5:36 (Devil Windmill Superplex) by 29.
TV Tag-team titles: IMT/AR15: Elrodhausen and Flatten the Curve* outmuscled "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker* and Fred Brown in 9 at 1:08 (Headbutt) by 129.
Main event: IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th bested COT: Jurassic Machine at 20:34 (5 Star Meltzer Gaslighting) by 7. |
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| Card 11: Held in Bordeaux (Attendance: 2,824) |
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SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly bested The Fishy Fisherman in 8 at 0:57 (Flying Dropkick) by 111.
West Coast title: COT: Shadow Machine defeated CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway at 27:37 (Shadowban) by 1.
IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th beat EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 21:55 (5 Star Meltzer Gaslighting) by 6 (non-title).
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly over Curt Gold in 2 at 3:37 (Count Out).
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux destroyed Duffy Wolfe in 6 at 1:15 (Ankle Lock) by 109 (non-title).
COT: Super Ghost Machine over Karma Vain at 6:54 (Count Out).
COT: Shadow Machine and Super Ghost Machine* drew IMT/AR15: Elrodhausen* and Flatten the Curve at 3:05 (No Contest).
Main event: IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th overpowered CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway at 42:08 (5 Star Meltzer Gaslighting) by 5 (Guest Referee: SOS/OMR: Irish Hand Grenade). |
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| Card 12: Held in the Free State (Attendance: 7,337) |
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EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux bested The Fishy Fisherman in 8 at 3:59 (Back Elbow Smash) by 112 (non-title).
SOS/TWGWK: Deathmatch Danielle from HR won over EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 29:08 (Shatter with Reesemart Light Tube) by 3.
COT: Chaos Machine defeated EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 27:46 (Chaos Theory) by 4.
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly overpowered Charlie Ford in 6 at 4:50 (Palm Strike) by 99.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux bested Curt Gold in 6 at 2:15 (Ankle Lock) by 79 (non-title).
COT: Super Ghost Machine over BC Doom in 11 at 24:38 (Disqualification: used brass knuckles).
COT: Shadow Machine and Super Ghost Machine* pinned COT: Jurassic Machine and Mammoth Machine* at 29:58 (Spike Piledriver) by 4.
Main event: IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th won over EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 35:35 (5 Star Meltzer Gaslighting) by 3. |
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| Card 13: Held in Sialkot (Attendance: 6,344) |
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EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux defeated Drake in 11 at 2:21 (Backbreaker) by 135 (non-title).
TV title: SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge destroyed EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 27:05 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 5 (Guest Referee: Dr. Blank).
Central Plains title: SOS/TWGWK: Deathmatch Danielle from HR pinned EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle at 29:09 (Shatter with Reesemart Light Tube) by 4.
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly defeated Dr. Blank in 6 at 0:50 (Palm Strike) by 108.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux annihilated Charlie Ford in 6 at 5:41 (Ankle Lock) by 95 (non-title).
COT: Super Ghost Machine decked EDGE: Black Checker at 8:32 (Devil Windmill Superplex) by 25.
IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together, The New Normal*, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th drew COT: Super Ghost Machine, Jurassic Machine, and Mammoth Machine* at 10:23 (Double Disqualification).
Main event: IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th decked SOS/TWGWK: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman at 30:51 (5 Star Meltzer Gaslighting) by 7. |
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| Card 14: Held in Jackson (Attendance: 8,224) |
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EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux destroyed Bruce Vanquish in 8 at 5:38 (Back Elbow Smash) by 60 (non-title).
SOS/TWGWK: Man in Burreeseto Costume overpowered EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 28:41 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 3.
IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th outmuscled SOS/TWGWK: Deathmatch Danielle from HR at 28:32 (5 Star Meltzer Gaslighting) by 3.
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly beat Tim McCormick in 6 at 6:55 (Palm Strike) by 94.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux annihilated Dr. Blank in 6 at 0:49 (Ankle Lock) by 104 (non-title).
COT: Super Ghost Machine overpowered SOS/OMR: Irish Hand Grenade at 8:52 (Devil Windmill Superplex) by 28.
Main event: IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th overpowered SOS/TWGWK: Deathmatch Danielle from HR at 42:01 (5 Star Meltzer Gaslighting) by 3. |
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| Card 15: Held in New Philadelphia (Attendance: 9,374) |
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EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux beat Neil B. Formee at 1:08 (Camel Clutch) by 169 (non-title).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers bested SOS/TWGWK: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar at 29:55 (The Preppy Killer) by 2.
SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge decked EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 28:18 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 5 (non-title) (Guest Referee: Charles "Chuckles" McLean).
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly defeated Dandy Davis in 6 at 3:59 (Palm Strike) by 87.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux won over Tim McCormick in 6 at 1:50 (Ankle Lock) by 90 (non-title).
CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre decked EDGE: 976-EVIL at 29:12 (Superplex) by 3.
Main event: IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th annihilated SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge at 56:54 (5 Star Meltzer Gaslighting) by 1. |
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| Card 16: Held in Galveston (Attendance: 5,214) |
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SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly outmuscled "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker in 9 at 0:50 (Headbutt) by 127.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers decked SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 28:16 (The Preppy Killer) by 4.
SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge drew CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre (Time Limit).
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly outmuscled Outlaw Ben Slick in 6 at 4:21 (Palm Strike) by 105.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux won over Dandy Davis in 6 at 5:30 (Ankle Lock) by 83 (non-title).
CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre overpowered IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together at 27:27 (Superplex) by 1 (non-title).
Main event: IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th pinned SOS/TWGWK: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar at 39:30 (5 Star Meltzer Gaslighting) by 8. |
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| Battle Royal: Held in Staten Island (Attendance: 7,544) |
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EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux was awarded $1,000 after COT: Shadow Machine hurled him into the audience.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle nabbed $1,100 after SOS/TWGWK: Man in Burreeseto Costume threw him onto the announcer's table.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers picked up $1,200 after CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn tossed him into his manager at ringside.
CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway pocketed $1,300 after EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay threw him over the top rope.
SOS/TWGWK: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar took $1,400 when he was flung onto the announcer's table by COT: Shadow Machine.
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly received $1,500 when COT: Mammoth Machine hurled him out of the ring.
COT: Order Machine won $1,600 after COT: Super Ghost Machine threw him out.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane won $1,700 when he got flipped into some fans at ringside by CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre.
EDGE: 976-EVIL won $1,800 in imaginary money when CURE: Hammer hurled him out of the ring.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay was awarded $1,900 when he got thrown over the turnbuckle by COT: Mammoth Machine.
CURE: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva picked up $2,000 after he was thrown out by COT: Jurassic Machine.
SOS/TWGWK: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman nabbed a quick $2,100 when she got thrown onto the steps by COT: Super Ghost Machine.
COT: Jurassic Machine was given a cool $2,200 after SOS/TWGWK: Man in Burreeseto Costume threw him out.
COT: Mammoth Machine earned $2,300 after COT: Super Ghost Machine hurled him onto the steps.
SOS/TWGWK: Man in Burreeseto Costume snatched $2,400 after getting thrown out by SOS/TWGWK: Deathmatch Danielle from HR.
CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn was paid a quick $2,500 after getting thrown out of the ring by COT: Chaos Machine.
CURE: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson was paid $2,600 after COT: Shadow Machine threw him out of the ring.
COT: Shadow Machine gained an imaginary $2,700 when CURE: Hammer threw him over the turnbuckle.
COT: Super Ghost Machine snatched $2,800 after he got flipped out of the ring by SOS/TWGWK: Deathmatch Danielle from HR.
SOS/TWGWK: Deathmatch Danielle from HR got $2,900 when she got flung out by SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge.
COT: Chaos Machine pocketed $3,000 when CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre threw him out.
CURE: Hammer was awarded $3,100 when CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre hurled him onto the announcer's table.
CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre gained $3,200 after he got catapulted outside the ring by SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge.
SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge was the winner of the battle royal and its $30,000 prize. |
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