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HIRED ASSASSIN LEAGUE |
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| BULLETIN #100 -- OCTOBER 2024 |
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| Card 1: Held in Assisi (Attendance: 313) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane defeated Stink Boy in 11 at 1:15 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 101.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane pinned "Clever" Cliff Cleaver at 3:00 (RV is Toast) by 123.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux beat SOS/SIENAMART: Deathmatch Danielle from HR at 27:16 (Camel Clutch) by 3.
COT: Chaos Machine bested SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 22:34 (Chaos Theory) by 7.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane over Dr. Blank in 1 at 15:19 (Count Out).
Main event: COT: Jurassic Machine pinned SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 35:52 (Jurassic Jawbuster) by 9. |
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| Card 2: Held in Toronto (Attendance: 975) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane decked Stink Man in 10 at 0:37 (Back Elbow Smash) by 108.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane won over Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings in 8 at 3:05 (Headbutt) by 94.
SOS/SIENAMART: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge decked SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 19:01 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 9.
SOS/SIENAMART: Siena Martin won over EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle at 29:32 (Smash with Reesemart Microphone) by 2.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane annihilated Tim McCormick in 6 at 2:00 (Ankle Lock) by 99.
Main event: COT: Jurassic Machine overpowered CURE: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 25:08 (Jurassic Jawbuster) by 8. |
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| Card 3: Held in Back of the Yards (Attendance: 360) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane beat Bob in 6 at 7:22 (Ankle Lock) by 73.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane beat Frank's Friend Kyle in 6 at 7:26 (Ankle Lock) by 73.
Southwest title: SOS/SIENAMART: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge bested IMT/AR15: The New Normal at 28:48 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 2.
SOS/SIENAMART: Siena Martin annihilated CURE: Hammer at 29:27 (Smash with Reesemart Microphone) by 3.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane destroyed Dandy Davis in 6 at 2:45 (Ankle Lock) by 74.
Main event: COT: Jurassic Machine overpowered EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 27:06 (Jurassic Jawbuster) by 5 (Guest Referee: MiG-29 "Fulcrum"). |
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| Card 4: Held in Bordeaux (Attendance: 726) |
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CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre annihilated Bob in 6 at 7:25 (Ankle Lock) by 70.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane over Al the Hacksaw in 2 at 2:54 (Count Out).
SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume annihilated SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 28:22 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 4.
Central Plains title: IMT/AR15: Ching Chong Jones overpowered CURE: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 28:50 (Superplex) by 3.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane won over Outlaw Ben Slick in 6 at 4:30 (Ankle Lock) by 99.
Main event: COT: Jurassic Machine decked EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 34:27 (Jurassic Jawbuster) by 8. |
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| Card 5: Held in Las Vegas (Attendance: 455) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane decked Wally Brick in 6 at 5:02 (Ankle Lock) by 79.
CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn pinned SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 19:41 (Camel Clutch) by 8.
COT: Mammoth Machine bested SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume at 22:35 (Mammoth Headbutt) by 7.
EDGE: 976-EVIL pinned CURE: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 29:08 (Evil Calls) by 1.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane beat The Glass Jaw in 6 at 5:45 (Ankle Lock) by 97.
Main event: COT: Jurassic Machine destroyed SOS/SIENAMART: Siena Martin at 37:41 (Jurassic Jawbuster) by 1. |
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| Card 6: Held in Fargo (Attendance: 562) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane overpowered Randy Whitfield in 6 at 4:14 (Ankle Lock) by 94.
CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn drew EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 3:55 (No Contest).
SOS/SIENAMART: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar defeated SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 21:17 (Bonk with Reesemart Skillet) by 9.
VIRUS: "Southern Hangman" Tex Coleman over He-Man Most Powerful Man in the Universe in 4 at 4:32 (Count Out).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane pinned Professor Wrassle in 6 at 0:38 (Ankle Lock) by 107.
Main event: COT: Jurassic Machine outmuscled EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 29:23 (Jurassic Jawbuster) by 1. |
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| Card 7: Held in Zurich (Attendance: 361) |
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SOS/SIENAMART: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar won over Martin Dean in 6 at 3:37 (Crescent Kick) by 85.
Great Lakes title: CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway destroyed EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 27:01 (Camel Clutch) by 2.
SOS/SIENAMART: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar won over CURE: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 28:19 (Bonk with Reesemart Skillet) by 5 (Guest Referee: COT: Super Ghost Machine).
VIRUS: Paco Dominguez over The Apex Predator in 3 at 3:26 (Disqualification: hidden spike).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane pinned Henry O. in 6 at 2:50 (Ankle Lock) by 127.
Main event: SOS/SIENAMART: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar drew COT: Jurassic Machine at 12:27 (Double Disqualification). |
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| Card 8: Held in Helena (Attendance: 799) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane outmuscled Martin Dean in 6 at 6:43 (Ankle Lock) by 87.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay annihilated CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway at 29:04 (Pimp Slap) by 5 (Guest Referee: SOS/SIENAMART: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge).
SOS/SIENAMART: Siena Martin destroyed SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 20:49 (Smash with Reesemart Microphone) by 8.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane annihilated Peter Lawler in 6 at 6:51 (Ankle Lock) by 91.
West Coast title: COT: Shadow Machine beat EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 28:06 (Shadowban) by 2.
Main event: CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre drew COT: Jurassic Machine (Time Limit). |
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| Card 9: Held in Sialkot (Attendance: 493) |
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COT: Jurassic Machine destroyed Martin Dean in 6 at 6:17 (Hammerlock) by 90 (non-title).
The Kid Off the Streets destroyed Flex Lewis in 7 at 5:26 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 92.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane annihilated SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 27:05 (RV is Toast) by 1.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane destroyed Jimmy Roth in 6 at 5:35 (Ankle Lock) by 85.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux defeated CURE: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 29:18 (Camel Clutch) by 1.
Main event: COT: Mammoth Machine pinned COT: Jurassic Machine at 58:26 (Mammoth Headbutt) by 2. |
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| Card 10: Held in Osaka (Attendance: 806) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane destroyed The Fishy Fisherman in 6 at 3:23 (Ankle Lock) by 69.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers bested SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 27:02 (The Preppy Killer) by 4.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux decked SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 29:05 (Camel Clutch) by 5 (Guest Referee: VIRUS: "Dirty Magnum" Ray Calhoun).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane defeated Steve Shields in 6 at 0:37 (Ankle Lock) by 118.
CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre drew IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together at 11:30 (Double Count Out).
Main event: COT: Mammoth Machine defeated IMT/AR15: The New Normal at 50:47 (Mammoth Headbutt) by 4. |
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| Card 11: Held in Greensboro (Attendance: 748) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane bested Drake in 11 at 1:48 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 131.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers outmuscled IMT/AR15: Flatten the Curve at 28:34 (The Preppy Killer) by 1.
TV title: COT: Super Ghost Machine overpowered SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 10:10 (Devil Windmill Superplex) by 13.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane outmuscled Phil Dukes in 6 at 2:34 (Ankle Lock) by 71.
COT: Mammoth Machine won over IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 28:09 (Mammoth Headbutt) by 2.
Main event: COT: Mammoth Machine beat EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 43:57 (Mammoth Headbutt) by 6. |
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| Card 12: Held in Fort Myers (Attendance: 773) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane pinned Bruce Vanquish at 5:49 (RV is Toast) by 89.
East Coast title: CURE: Hammer pinned EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 28:44 (Hammered) by 1.
COT: Mammoth Machine defeated SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 19:23 (Mammoth Headbutt) by 11.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane beat Mike Taylor in 6 at 3:26 (Ankle Lock) by 116.
IMT/AR15: The New Normal annihilated COT: Order Machine at 29:54 (Diversity Submission) by 2.
Main event: COT: Mammoth Machine outmuscled CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway at 29:13 (Mammoth Headbutt) by 8. |
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| Card 13: Held in Mexicali (Attendance: 525) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane annihilated Neil B. Formee at 1:25 (RV is Toast) by 159.
SOS/OMR: Natural Born Killer over FREEDOM FUNZION: Mike Adams "The Canada Giant" in 1 at 5:47 (Disqualification: pushed ref).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay outmuscled SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 19:02 (Pimp Slap) by 8.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane decked Fred Brown in 6 at 1:08 (Ankle Lock) by 127.
TV Tag-team titles: IMT/AR15: Ching Chong Jones and Flatten the Curve* over Stink Man* and Al the Hacksaw in 3 at 0:54 (Disqualification: used steel chair).
Main event: COT: Mammoth Machine pinned SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume at 18:31 (Mammoth Headbutt) by 7. |
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| Card 14: Held in Columbus (Attendance: 328) |
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CURE: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson outmuscled "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker in 9 at 2:20 (Crescent Kick) by 134.
EDGE: Nervous Rex bested Jason Voorhees at 2:09 (Short-arm Clothesline) by 79.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle overpowered SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 20:47 (Fly Trap) by 6.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane destroyed Duffy Wolfe in 6 at 3:14 (Ankle Lock) by 103.
Jason Voorhees* and He-Man Most Powerful Man in the Universe won over FREEDOM FUNZION: Mike Adams "The Canada Giant" and Jeremy "Kane" Potvin* at 27:43 (The Victim) by 3.
Main event: COT: Mammoth Machine destroyed SOS/SIENAMART: Deathmatch Danielle from HR at 43:43 (Mammoth Headbutt) by 9. |
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| Card 15: Held in Belfast (Attendance: 448) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane destroyed "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker in 9 at 1:01 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 137.
SOS/OMR: American Psycho over FREEDOM FUNZION: Jeremy "Kane" Potvin in 7 at 6:52 (Disqualification: used powder).
EDGE: 976-EVIL outmuscled SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 29:22 (Evil Calls) by 2.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane won over Curt Gold in 6 at 3:13 (Ankle Lock) by 83.
League Tag-team titles: COT: Order Machine and Chaos Machine* annihilated IMT/AR15: Ching Chong Jones* and Flatten the Curve at 18:30 (Spike Piledriver) by 8.
Main event: COT: Mammoth Machine decked SOS/SIENAMART: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge at 31:21 (Mammoth Headbutt) by 2. |
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| Card 16: Held in Chattanooga (Attendance: 749) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane overpowered The Greater Cheese Grater at 2:58 (RV is Toast) by 103.
SOS/SIENAMART: Deathmatch Danielle from HR defeated SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 27:20 (Shatter with Reesemart Light Tube) by 2.
IMT/AR15: The New Normal beat SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 16:53 (Diversity Submission) by 7.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane annihilated Charlie Ford in 6 at 4:54 (Ankle Lock) by 111.
League Six-man titles: IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together*, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th outmuscled COT: Super Ghost Machine*, Jurassic Machine, and Mammoth Machine in 7 at 18:54 (Hammerlock) by 14.
Main event: COT: Mammoth Machine defeated IMT/AR15: Ching Chong Jones at 34:46 (Mammoth Headbutt) by 7. |
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| Interleague Matches |
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| FREEDOM FUNZION: Jeremy "Kane" Potvin (HAL) defeated TheNewFreebirds: Samson (GCL) at 10:45 (The Potvin Driver) by 47. |
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| Battle Royal: Held in Arlington (Attendance: 281) |
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CURE: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson was paid an imaginary $1,000 after he got flung out by EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane was paid $1,100 when COT: Shadow Machine threw him out of the ring.
EDGE: 976-EVIL snatched $1,200 after EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers threw him into some chairs at ringside.
CURE: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva was given $1,300 when EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux catapulted him into the audience.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers won $1,400 after EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle flipped him into the audience.
COT: Shadow Machine won $1,500 in imaginary money after he got hurled out by CURE: Hammer.
CURE: Hammer made $1,600 when EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux threw him into the audience.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux got $1,700 when he got thrown out of the ring by EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle received $1,800 when EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay threw him onto the steps.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay was the winner of the battle royal and the $40,000 prize. |
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