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HIRED ASSASSIN LEAGUE |
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| BULLETIN #103 -- DECEMBER 2024 |
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| Card 1: Held in Omaha (Attendance: 565) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay beat Stink Boy in 11 at 0:57 (Superplex) by 106.
Mr. Magic pinned The Apex Predator at 5:03 (Guillotine Choke) by 31.
SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume drew CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre (Time Limit).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay pinned Duffy Wolfe in 6 at 0:33 (Cross-Armbar) by 102.
IMT/47: Flatten the Curve beat IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 28:08 (Eat Bugs Like Gates Says) by 5.
Main event: IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones pinned COT: Mammoth Machine at 27:17 (Puppy Noodle Soup) by 3. |
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| Card 2: Held in Glasgow (Attendance: 913) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay pinned Stink Man in 12 at 1:52 (Brainbuster) by 119.
SOS/SIENAMART: Deathmatch Danielle from HR destroyed CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 29:58 (Shatter with Reesemart Light Tube) by 4.
SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume drew IMT/47: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 4:07 (Double Disqualification).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay annihilated Curt Gold in 6 at 2:45 (Cross-Armbar) by 94.
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones decked He-Man Most Powerful Man in the Universe in 14 at 3:19 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 117 (non-title, Snake Mountain Street Fight).
Main event: SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume pinned IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 26:41 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 7. |
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| Card 3: Held in Manhattan (Attendance: 407) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay bested Bob in 6 at 1:59 (Cross-Armbar) by 93.
CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn drew IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 29:34 (Double Count Out).
SOS/SIENAMART: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar won over IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 15:03 (Bonk with Reesemart Skillet) by 7.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay pinned Charlie Ford in 6 at 2:22 (Cross-Armbar) by 107.
CURE: Hammer annihilated IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 28:07 (Hammered) by 4.
Main event: SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume outmuscled EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 48:56 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 5. |
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| Card 4: Held in Milwaukee (Attendance: 762) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay overpowered Wally Brick at 2:47 (Pimp Slap) by 151.
West Coast title: COT: Jurassic Machine bested CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 24:17 (Jurassic Jawbuster) by 7.
Rocky Mountains title: SOS/SIENAMART: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar won over IMT/47: Flatten the Curve at 29:38 (Bonk with Reesemart Skillet) by 2.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay destroyed Dr. Blank in 6 at 1:15 (Cross-Armbar) by 111.
COT: Chaos Machine destroyed IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 28:43 (Chaos Theory) by 1.
Main event: SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume destroyed IMT/47: We Are In This Together at 30:52 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 3. |
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| Card 5: Held in Brady Lake (Attendance: 332) |
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Martin Dean over FREEDOM FUNZION: Mike Adams "The Canada Giant" in 4 at 7:46 (Count Out).
CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway overpowered IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 21:42 (DDT) by 7.
SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly overpowered COT: Shadow Machine at 27:15 (Bear Hug) by 2.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay destroyed Tim McCormick in 6 at 3:50 (Cross-Armbar) by 93.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay defeated Professor Wrassle in 6 at 2:33 (Cross-Armbar) by 100.
Main event: SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume decked EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 48:05 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 7. |
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| Card 6: Held in Lisbon (Attendance: 574) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay outmuscled Martin Dean in 6 at 2:35 (Cross-Armbar) by 92.
Great Lakes title: CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway overpowered IMT/47: We Are In This Together at 29:00 (DDT) by 3.
TV title: SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly annihilated IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 19:21 (Bear Hug) by 9.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay over Dandy Davis in 2 at 4:16 (Disqualification: hit ref).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay won over Henry O. in 6 at 3:14 (Cross-Armbar) by 124.
Main event: SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume destroyed EDGE: 976-EVIL at 15:07 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 6. |
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| Card 7: Held in Aruba (Attendance: 682) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay outmuscled The Fishy Fisherman in 8 at 4:12 (Back Elbow Smash) by 113.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers won over IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 29:11 (The Preppy Killer) by 3.
SOS/SIENAMART: Siena Martin destroyed IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 19:47 (Smash with Reesemart Microphone) by 10 (non-title).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay pinned Outlaw Ben Slick in 6 at 6:20 (Cross-Armbar) by 98.
Mid-Atlantic title: IMT/47: The New Normal bested EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 16:05 (Diversity Submission) by 7.
Main event: SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume decked CURE: Hammer at 32:30 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 3. |
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| Card 8: Held in Nairobi (Attendance: 890) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay over Bruce Vanquish in 4 at 8:36 (Count Out).
IMT/47: We Are In This Together decked EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 28:30 (Mandatory Volunteer Jab) by 1.
SOS/SIENAMART: Siena Martin beat CURE: Hammer at 18:18 (Smash with Reesemart Microphone) by 6 (non-title).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane decked IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 27:56 (RV is Toast) by 2.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle tied CURE: Hammer at 3:59 (Double Disqualification).
Main event: SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume decked IMT/47: Flatten the Curve at 48:49 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 2. |
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| Card 9: Held in Laramie (Attendance: 730) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay bested Neil B. Formee in 11 at 1:11 (Superplex) by 125.
He-Man Most Powerful Man in the Universe over Jason Voorhees in 8 at 15:25 (Count Out).
CURE: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson tied IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 9:05 (No Contest).
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux defeated IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 28:02 (DDT) by 5.
TV Tag-team titles: IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones and Flatten the Curve* decked Wally Brick* and Martin Dean in 6 at 10:09 (Fallaway Slam) by 42.
Main event: SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly won over SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume at 54:12 (Bear Hug) by 2. |
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| Card 10: Held in Kincaid (Attendance: 512) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay beat "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker in 9 at 0:59 (Shoulder Breaker) by 132.
IMT/47: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th beat FREEDOM FUNZION: Jeremy "Kane" Potvin at 4:11 (Unburdened By What Has Pinned) by 74.
IMT/47: Flatten the Curve decked CURE: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 27:38 (Eat Bugs Like Gates Says) by 5.
CURE: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva overpowered Flex Lewis in 6 at 5:09 (Headbutt) by 81.
CURE: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva and "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre* drew IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones* and Flatten the Curve at 14:50 (Double Count Out).
Main event: SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly annihilated SOS/SIENAMART: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge at 31:19 (Bear Hug) by 3. |
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| Card 11: Held in Harrisburg (Attendance: 973) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay won over The Greater Cheese Grater at 0:40 (Pimp Slap) by 116.
SOS/SIENAMART: Deathmatch Danielle from HR won over IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 29:09 (Shatter with Reesemart Light Tube) by 4.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay defeated Peter Lawler in 6 at 3:44 (Cross-Armbar) by 88.
Northeast title: CURE: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva outmuscled EDGE: 976-EVIL at 15:12 (Atomic Leg Drop) by 6.
League Tag-team titles: COT: Shadow Machine and Jurassic Machine* outmuscled IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones* and Flatten the Curve at 22:35 (Prehistoric Eye Gouge) by 6.
Main event: SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly bested CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 16:44 (Bear Hug) by 9. |
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| Card 12: Held in Fort Smith (Attendance: 879) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay annihilated "Clever" Cliff Cleaver at 2:35 (Pimp Slap) by 138.
SOS/SIENAMART: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge bested IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 16:45 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 6.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay over Jimmy Roth in 2 at 13:19 (Count Out).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones tied COT: Super Ghost Machine at 4:49 (No Contest).
IMT/47: We Are In This Together, The New Normal*, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th over Wally Brick*, Martin Dean, and Mike Taylor in 2 at 1:38 (Disqualification: used rope to choke).
Main event: SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly overpowered CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway at 46:31 (Bear Hug) by 2. |
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| Card 13: Held in the Bronx (Attendance: 999) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay pinned Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings in 8 at 2:26 (Back Elbow Smash) by 109.
Southwest title: CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre defeated SOS/SIENAMART: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge at 29:17 (DDT) by 1.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay defeated Steve Shields in 6 at 0:40 (Cross-Armbar) by 126.
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones drew EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 14:19 (Double Count Out).
Jason Voorhees, EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux*, and He-Man Most Powerful Man in the Universe over Moose*, Mr. Magic, and FREEDOM FUNZION: Mike Adams "The Canada Giant" in 4 at 2:41 (Disqualification: loaded elbow pad).
Main event: SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly bested EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 43:21 (Bear Hug) by 4. |
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| Card 14: Held in Fargo (Attendance: 351) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay beat Frank's Friend Kyle in 6 at 7:40 (Cross-Armbar) by 72.
SOS/SIENAMART: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge outmuscled COT: Order Machine at 23:25 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 8 (Guest Referee: "Tyrant of Dominance" Decimus Skurge).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay destroyed Phil Dukes in 6 at 6:29 (Cross-Armbar) by 95.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle defeated IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 27:36 (Fly Trap) by 4.
IMT/47: We Are In This Together, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th* outmuscled COT: Super Ghost Machine, Jurassic Machine, and Mammoth Machine* at 7:02 (Unburdened By What Has Pinned) by 17.
Main event: SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly won over EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 39:55 (Bear Hug) by 6. |
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| Card 15: Held in Echo (Attendance: 813) |
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COT: Mammoth Machine bested Al the Hacksaw in 6 at 7:35 (Ankle Lock) by 67 (non-title).
SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume destroyed EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 29:56 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 2.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay bested Mike Taylor in 6 at 1:25 (Cross-Armbar) by 121.
EDGE: 976-EVIL won over IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 27:55 (Evil Calls) by 1.
Main event: SOS/SIENAMART: Siena Martin annihilated SOS/SIENAMART: Store Greeter Frank Friendly at 37:20 (Smash with Reesemart Microphone) by 1. |
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| Card 16: Held in Mission (Attendance: 791) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay outmuscled Al the Hacksaw at 1:05 (Pimp Slap) by 161.
SOS/SIENAMART: Man in Burreeseto Costume decked IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 19:20 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 7.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay over Fred Brown in 1 at 5:32 (Count Out).
IMT/47: We Are In This Together destroyed IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 27:48 (Mandatory Volunteer Jab) by 4.
Main event: SOS/SIENAMART: Siena Martin annihilated SOS/SIENAMART: Deathmatch Danielle from HR at 19:32 (Smash with Reesemart Microphone) by 6. |
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| Interleague Matches |
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TheNewFreebirds: "The Golden 1" Potvin (GCL) over FREEDOM FUNZION: Jeremy "Kane" Potvin (HAL) in 12 at 4:02 (disqualification - razor in boot).
VIRUS/3LITE/TNF: "Mr. Badd" Logan (GCL) over He-Man Most Powerful Man in the Universe (HAL) in 4 at 2:35 (count out).
TheNewFreebirds: Samson (GCL) over The Apex Predator (HAL) in 2 at 1:08 (disqualification - used powder). |
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| Battle Royal: Held in Macon (Attendance: 267) |
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CURE: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson collected a quick $1,000 when he was thrown into some chairs at ringside by CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn.
CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn grabbed $1,100 after he got thrown onto the apron by CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre.
CURE: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva picked up a quick $1,200 after he got hurled out by EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay won a cool $1,300 when he got thrown outside the ring by CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre.
EDGE: 976-EVIL received $1,400 in imaginary money when he got catapulted into some chairs at ringside by EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane made $1,500 when he got hurled out by CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers was paid an imaginary $1,600 when CURE: Hammer threw him onto the concrete floor.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle pocketed $1,700 when CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre threw him over the turnbuckle.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux gained $1,800 when he was thrown out of the ring by CURE: Hammer.
CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre got $1,900 after getting flung out of the ring by CURE: Hammer.
CURE: Hammer took home $2,000 when he was hurled onto the steps by CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway.
CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway won the battle royal and the $40,000 prize. |
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