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HIRED ASSASSIN LEAGUE |
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| BULLETIN #130 -- JULY 2026 |
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| Card 1: Held in the East End of London (Attendance: 620) |
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Pacific Northwest title: SOS: The Zombie Knight outmuscled VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 29:52 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 5.
SOS: The Zombie Court Jester decked EDGE: 976-EVIL at 19:08 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 9.
IMT/67: The New Normal overpowered EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 27:48 (Point Flow Passport) by 3.
Main event: IMT/67: Flatten the Curve won over VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 26:36 (Recommended Mandatory Jab) by 7. |
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| Card 2: Held in Juneau (Attendance: 422) |
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VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn drew VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 7:30 (No Contest).
SOS: The Zombie Court Jester destroyed IMT/67: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 20:03 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 6 (non-title).
IMT/67: The New Normal won over SOS: The Zombie Prince at 27:32 (Point Flow Passport) by 1.
Main event: IMT/67: Flatten the Curve destroyed IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones at 43:05 (Recommended Mandatory Jab) by 4. |
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| Card 3: Held in Washington, D.C. (Attendance: 262) |
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EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle annihilated VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 29:13 (Fly Trap) by 2.
SOS: The Zombie King annihilated SOS: The Zombie Knight at 27:30 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 3.
IMT/67: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th outmuscled VIRUS: Hammer at 27:45 (12th Booster) by 3 (ladder).
Main event: IMT/67: Flatten the Curve beat EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 29:19 (Recommended Mandatory Jab) by 1. |
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| Card 4: Held in Buenos Aires (Attendance: 671) |
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VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway beat VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 22:16 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 6.
SOS: The Zombie King destroyed VIRUS: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 28:29 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 1.
IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones* and Flatten the Curve beat Fred Brown* and Henry O. in 6 at 1:30 (Palm Strike) by 107.
Main event: IMT/67: Flatten the Curve won over EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 49:45 (Recommended Mandatory Jab) by 3. |
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| Card 5: Held in Midtown (Attendance: 545) |
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VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway drew SOS: The Zombie Prince at 2:30 (No Contest).
SOS: The Zombie King bested VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 19:01 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 8.
IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones* and Flatten the Curve beat VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson* and "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 28:51 (#1 A-1 Chinese Wok) by 1.
Main event: IMT/67: The New Normal drew IMT/67: Flatten the Curve at 43:36 (Double Disqualification). |
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| Card 6: Held in Jersey City (Attendance: 514) |
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TV title: SOS: The Zombie Princess pinned VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 15:39 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 10.
SOS: The Zombie Queen annihilated VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 24:23 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 7.
IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones* and Flatten the Curve outmuscled COT: Super Ghost Machine* and Mammoth Machine at 10:20 (#1 A-1 Chinese Wok) by 17.
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Court Jester defeated IMT/67: Flatten the Curve at 53:53 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 5. |
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| Card 7: Held in Assisi (Attendance: 901) |
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SOS: The Zombie Princess defeated IMT/67: We Are In This Together at 29:47 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 5 (non-title).
Southeast title: SOS: The Zombie Queen defeated IMT/67: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 28:39 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 1.
IMT/67: We Are In This Together*, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th won over Wally Brick, The Greater Cheese Grater*, and Steve Shields at 6:26 (The Cycle of Death) by 98.
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Court Jester destroyed VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 19:08 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 12. |
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| Card 8: Held in Laramie (Attendance: 575) |
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EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers bested VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 19:12 (The Preppy Killer) by 6.
IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones decked VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 28:00 (#1 A-1 Chinese Wok) by 3.
IMT/67: We Are In This Together*, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th decked COT: Shadow Machine, Jurassic Machine, and Mammoth Machine* at 12:00 (The Cycle of Death) by 13.
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Court Jester beat IMT/67: We Are In This Together at 24:50 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 7. |
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| Card 9: Held in Providence (Attendance: 370) |
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IMT/67: Flatten the Curve over Gordon Bomber in 3 at 18:36 (Count Out) (non-title).
COT: Super Ghost Machine defeated VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 27:13 (Thumb to the Elrod) by 1.
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Court Jester bested IMT/67: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 17:18 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 6. |
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| Card 10: Held in Honolulu (Attendance: 541) |
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VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson overpowered VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 18:15 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 7.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre tied COT: Mammoth Machine at 2:06 (No Contest).
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Court Jester beat VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway at 15:43 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 6. |
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| Card 11: Held in Houston (Attendance: 723) |
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COT: Mammoth Machine decked Fred Brown in 6 at 4:56 (Hammerlock) by 120.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay outmuscled VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 27:43 (Pimp Slap) by 4.
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Court Jester won over SOS: The Zombie King at 39:11 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 4. |
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| Card 12: Held in Garden City (Attendance: 835) |
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VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre destroyed Outlaw Ben Slick in 6 at 3:02 (Cross-Armbar) by 95 (non-title).
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle won over VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 29:09 (Fly Trap) by 2.
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Court Jester outmuscled SOS: The Zombie Princess at 43:09 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 2. |
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| Card 13: Held in Indianapolis (Attendance: 306) |
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EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane pinned VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 29:46 (RV is Toast) by 4.
EDGE: 976-EVIL bested VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 29:00 (Evil Calls) by 3.
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Court Jester defeated EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 26:18 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 12. |
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| Card 14: Held in Fall River (Attendance: 888) |
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IMT/67: Ching Chong Jones decked EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 29:06 (#1 A-1 Chinese Wok) by 3.
IMT/67: We Are In This Together overpowered VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 27:30 (The Cycle of Death) by 5.
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Court Jester annihilated EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 40:03 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 8. |
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| Card 15: Held in Pahrump (Attendance: 543) |
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EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux drew VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre (Time Limit).
IMT/67: The New Normal bested VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 23:48 (Point Flow Passport) by 7.
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Court Jester won over COT: Super Ghost Machine at 36:55 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 11. |
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| Card 16: Held in Fairbanks (Attendance: 365) |
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SOS: The Zombie Court Jester defeated VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 11:46 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 12 (non-title).
VIRUS: Hammer pinned VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 28:32 (Hammered) by 3.
Main event: SOS: The Zombie Court Jester pinned COT: Mammoth Machine at 13:27 (Scorpion Deathlock) by 12. |
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| Interleague Matches |
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The New Age: Ross Von Erich (NBL) defeated FREEDOM FUNZION: Mike Adams "The Canada Giant" (HAL) at 28:01 (Big Splash) by 2.
The Apex Predator (HAL) over The New Age: Marshall Von Erich (NBL) in 5 at 5:03 (disqualification - used rope to choke).
Taz the Mobster Jr. (NBL) beat He-Man Most Powerful Man in the Universe (HAL) at 29:40 (The Fallin' Star) by 5. |
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| Battle Royal: Held in Brideshead (Attendance: 660) |
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VIRUS: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre was paid $1,000 after VIRUS: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva threw him over the top rope.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson earned $1,100 when he was flung out by VIRUS: Hammer.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" BJ Penn took home $1,200 after he was flung out of the ring by VIRUS: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva.
VIRUS: Hammer snatched $1,300 when he got flipped out by VIRUS: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Max Holloway grabbed $1,400 when he got thrown out by VIRUS: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva.
VIRUS: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva was the winner of the battle royal and the $30,000 purse. |
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