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COMBAT ZONE LEAGUE

BULLETIN #259 -- SUMMER 2025

Card 1: Held in Pretoria (Attendance: 3,427)

SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Bodyguard Rawdog beat SOS: Tangerina Pitarnix at 18:15 (Fat Dawg Splash) by 7.
SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth destroyed Captain Chip Ahoy in 10 at 1:05 (Mounted Punches) by 128.
EDGE: Rob Slayer beat SOS: Esau the Soup Connoisseur at 29:28 (Sharpshooter) by 2.
HERO: The Rocklet bested Quentin Gobblerick in 6 at 4:19 (Flying Dropkick) by 69.
SOS/ARMY: "Silencer" Eddie Camden destroyed HERO: Dash Wheeler at 29:36 (Silenced) by 2.
SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Blowfish Mikaya outmuscled HERO: Glass City Assassin Anarchy at 24:27 (The Moneymaker) by 9.
HERO: Sta'Ohndys Johnson defeated EDGE: The Terminator at 28:20 (Earn It) by 1.
Main event: EDGE/CHAMP: "EDGE's Extreme Icon" Hannibal defeated EDGE: The Terminator at 49:48 (Hanni Driver) by 2.

Card 2: Held in Buffalo (Attendance: 2,678)

EDGE: The Terminator beat SOS: Tangerina Pitarnix at 28:02 (Southside Piledriver) by 3 (non-title).
SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth over Quentin Gobblerick in 2 at 7:37 (Disqualification: used powder).
SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Blowfish Mikaya beat SOS: Squirmin' Herod Agrippa at 23:36 (The Moneymaker) by 10 (Guest Referee: HERO: Bobby "Night Night" Toochuer).
HERO: The Rocklet destroyed Koko Jones at 2:33 (The People's Forearm) by 143.
Rocky Mountains title: SOS/ARMY: "Bloodstained Xtremist" Jefferson Creed decked HERO: Sta'Ohndys Johnson at 28:46 (Drawn and Quartered) by 5.

SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Blowfish Mikaya annihilated TBABIT: Amazing Fred in 8 at 28:08 (Palm Strike) by 5.
EDGE: Mr. Brown pinned TBABIT: "Super Woke" Dan Smith in 14 at 13:29 (Cobra Clutch) by 24.
Main event: TBABIT: Travis Cornelius Rupert decked EDGE/CHAMP: "EDGE's Extreme Icon" Hannibal at 55:13 (Backbreaker) by 3.

Card 3: Held in Crete (Attendance: 1,176)

EDGE/CHAMP: "EDGE's Extreme Icon" Hannibal annihilated SOS: Tangerina Pitarnix at 29:40 (Hanni Driver) by 5 (non-title).
SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth pinned Koko Jones in 8 at 5:26 (Palm Strike) by 98.
HERO: The Rocklet outmuscled Title Collector in 6 at 4:25 (Flying Dropkick) by 87.
HERO: The Rocklet won over Benjamin Sharpe in 6 at 4:03 (Flying Dropkick) by 103.
SOS/ARMY: "Homicidal" Jose Medina pinned HERO: Kawasaki Eataneggroll at 29:26 (La Vida Loca) by 1.
SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Blowfish Mikaya pinned EDGE: Magnificent JD at 19:29 (The Moneymaker) by 12.
TBABIT: Travis Cornelius Rupert pinned EDGE: Mr. Blue at 29:16 (Backbreaker) by 5.
Main event: TBABIT: Travis Cornelius Rupert outmuscled HERO: Kawasaki Eataneggroll at 59:53 (Backbreaker) by 3.

Card 4: Held in Harvey (Attendance: 9,276)

Great Lakes title: EDGE: "Y2B" Chris Babylon bested TBABIT: "Super Woke" Dan Smith at 6:49 (Backbreaker) by 34.
SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth pinned Benjamin Sharpe in 6 at 4:12 (Suplex) by 104.
HERO: The Rocklet beat Jerry Jawbreaker in 6 at 4:51 (Flying Dropkick) by 85.
SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Bodyguard Bareback bested HERO: Lloyd Gross at 27:37 (Stiff Spinebusta) by 5.
SOS/ARMY: "Silencer" Eddie Camden destroyed SOS/ARMY: "Mack Daddy of Violence" Rodney Pierce at 29:37 (Silenced) by 2.
SOS/ARMY: "Hardcore Icon" Jason Webb tied TBABIT: Travis Cornelius Rupert at 13:32 (Double Disqualification).
TBABIT: Travis Cornelius Rupert beat EDGE: Mr. Blonde at 29:07 (Backbreaker) by 4.
Main event: TBABIT: Travis Cornelius Rupert beat TBABIT: "Super Woke" Dan Smith at 14:24 (Backbreaker) by 31.

Card 5: Held in Calcutta (Attendance: 4,805)

EDGE/CHAMP: Bryan Samuel bested SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Bodyguard Bareback at 28:46 (Southside Piledriver) by 1.
SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth bested Streaks McGee in 11 at 2:07 (Sleeper) by 142.
HERO: The Rocklet outmuscled Vance Whitaker in 6 at 1:57 (Flying Dropkick) by 95.
SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Bodyguard Rawdog defeated HERO: They Might Be Giants Gonzalez at 29:21 (Fat Dawg Splash) by 5.
SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Blowfish Mikaya defeated SOS/ARMY: "Silencer" Eddie Camden at 16:19 (The Moneymaker) by 9 (non-title).
EDGE: Ric Passion decked HERO: Sta'Ohndys Johnson at 29:31 (Sharpshooter) by 4.
East Coast title: SOS: Lot's Salty Wife beat HERO: Kawasaki Eataneggroll at 27:31 (Looking Back On It) by 3.

Main event: SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Bodyguard Bareback tied TBABIT: Travis Cornelius Rupert (Time Limit).

Card 6: Held in Vienna (Attendance: 1,463)

SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth over Title Collector in 1 at 0:45 (Disqualification: hit opponent with microphone).
SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth outmuscled Nicholas Needlemeier in 6 at 1:50 (Suplex) by 122.
TBABIT: Travis Cornelius Rupert decked HERO: Darien Specter at 16:12 (Backbreaker) by 7.
SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Bodyguard Bareback bested SOS: Esau the Soup Connoisseur at 29:12 (Stiff Spinebusta) by 2.
EDGE: Bret "Hitman" Scott overpowered SOS/ARMY: "Silencer" Eddie Camden at 29:08 (Sharpshooter) by 1.
EDGE: The Terminator defeated EDGE/2XCHAMP: Riki Tiki Tavi Steamboat at 29:43 (Southside Piledriver) by 1.
HERO: Sta'Ohndys Johnson outmuscled TBABIT: Amazing Fred at 29:56 (Earn It) by 4.
Main event: TBABIT: Travis Cornelius Rupert defeated SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Bodyguard Rawdog at 54:12 (Backbreaker) by 1.

Card 7: Held in Greensboro (Attendance: 7,751)

SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth destroyed Jerry Jawbreaker in 6 at 5:03 (Suplex) by 86.
SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth decked Edward Worthington in 6 at 2:13 (Suplex) by 124.
HERO: The Rocklet overpowered Ray Gunn in 6 at 4:59 (Flying Dropkick) by 92.
SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Bodyguard Bareback pinned HERO: C.D. Johnson at 24:02 (Stiff Spinebusta) by 9.
Southwest title: HERO: Glass City Assassin Insanity destroyed SOS/ARMY: "Silencer" Eddie Camden at 29:19 (The Plea) by 3.

TBABIT: Travis Cornelius Rupert bested EDGE/2XCHAMP: Riki Tiki Tavi Steamboat at 17:32 (Backbreaker) by 6.
HERO: Kawasaki Eataneggroll defeated EDGE: Galen Jackson at 29:01 (Eggrollup) by 3.
Main event: TBABIT: Travis Cornelius Rupert outmuscled SOS: Esau the Soup Connoisseur at 27:05 (Backbreaker) by 2.

Card 8: Held in Everglades City (Attendance: 9,502)

SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth decked Vance Whitaker in 6 at 3:14 (Suplex) by 96.
SOS: Meena Luckner won over SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth at 28:20 (Family Fun Daze) by 1.
HERO: The Rocklet pinned Diamond Diaz in 6 at 2:59 (Flying Dropkick) by 98.
SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Bodyguard Bareback outmuscled EDGE: Jumpin Johnny Fawcett at 29:15 (Stiff Spinebusta) by 5.
SOS/ARMY: "Silencer" Eddie Camden annihilated TBABIT: Amazing Fred at 28:16 (Silenced) by 4.
EDGE: Pain pinned EDGE: The Terminator at 29:46 (Vice-Grip) by 1.
TBABIT: Travis Cornelius Rupert destroyed HERO: Cannweh Geddahboofe at 27:02 (Backbreaker) by 3.
Main event: TBABIT: Travis Cornelius Rupert destroyed HERO: Sta'Ohndys Johnson at 50:32 (Backbreaker) by 4.

Card 9: Held in Indianapolis (Attendance: 4,493)

SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth won over Ray Gunn in 6 at 2:55 (Suplex) by 93.
SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth defeated HERO: Jonathan Acorns of Taxes at 27:40 (Goin' Gold) by 3.
HERO: The Rocklet over Chester the Cheater in 1 at 13:30 (Count Out).
Mid-Atlantic title: SOS: Eli the #1 Dad won over SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Bodyguard Bareback at 29:01 (Chair-Assisted Neckbreaker) by 2.

SOS/ARMY: "Silencer" Eddie Camden overpowered EDGE: Magnum JA at 27:27 (Silenced) by 5.
HERO: Kawasaki Eataneggroll won over EDGE: Pain at 27:17 (Eggrollup) by 1.
SOS/ARMY: Zombiekorpse decked HERO: Kawasaki Eataneggroll at 29:48 (Self-Destructive Korpsemaker) by 1.
Main event: SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Blowfish Mikaya annihilated TBABIT: Travis Cornelius Rupert in 8 at 30:37 (Palm Strike) by 1.

Card 10: Held in Franklin Township (Attendance: 9,403)

SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth overpowered Diamond Diaz in 6 at 5:15 (Suplex) by 99.
SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Blowfish Mikaya defeated SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth at 19:42 (The Moneymaker) by 9 (non-title).
HERO: The Rocklet over B-Sting McCooly in 1 at 5:10 (Disqualification: used powder).
SOS: Esau the Soup Connoisseur annihilated HERO: Kraken Wise at 19:25 (Split Pea Suplex) by 6.
SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Bodyguard Rawdog overpowered HERO: C.D. Johnson at 18:16 (Fat Dawg Splash) by 8.
TBABIT: Travis Cornelius Rupert annihilated HERO: The Rocklet at 15:16 (Backbreaker) by 11.
EDGE: Playboy Pat Hoege annihilated TBABIT: "Super Woke" Dan Smith at 15:42 (Sharpshooter) by 24.
Main event: SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Blowfish Mikaya pinned SOS/ARMY: "Silencer" Eddie Camden at 20:30 (The Moneymaker) by 9.

Card 11: Held in Echo (Attendance: 1,809)

SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth decked Chester the Cheater in 6 at 2:03 (Suplex) by 119.
West Coast title: EDGE: Mr. Orange destroyed SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth at 27:43 (Flying Body Press) by 3.

HERO: The Rocklet overpowered "The Ominous One" Oliver Orson in 6 at 6:48 (Flying Dropkick) by 87.
HERO: The Rocklet bested Streaks McGee in 11 at 0:46 (Big Splash) by 138.
SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Bodyguard Rawdog overpowered HERO: Sta'Ohndys Johnson at 29:41 (Fat Dawg Splash) by 3.
HERO: Bobby "Night Night" Toochuer over TBABIT: "Super Woke" Dan Smith in 13 at 11:01 (Disqualification: pushed ref).
HERO: Hedu Eatalot won over TBABIT: "Super Woke" Dan Smith at 9:19 (Buffet Buster) by 25.
Main event: SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Blowfish Mikaya defeated SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth at 33:02 (The Moneymaker) by 9.

Card 12: Held in Elrodville (Attendance: 2,086)

SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth bested B-Sting McCooly in 10 at 1:18 (Mounted Punches) by 136.
SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth tied EDGE: Mr. White at 15:51 (Double Count Out).
HERO: The Rocklet annihilated Jackson Black in 6 at 3:38 (Flying Dropkick) by 94.
HERO: The Rocklet over Nicholas Needlemeier in 1 at 9:42 (Count Out).
SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Bodyguard Rawdog bested EDGE: Mothman at 29:16 (Fat Dawg Splash) by 3.
HERO: Kawasaki Eataneggroll bested EDGE: Mr. Pink at 28:40 (Eggrollup) by 1.
HERO: Sta'Ohndys Johnson pinned EDGE: Captain Metropolis at 28:10 (Earn It) by 3.
Main event: SOS/ARMY: Bro Shambles bested SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Blowfish Mikaya at 30:23 (Bro's Bionic Elbow) by 4.

Card 13: Held in Pierre (Attendance: 9,461)

SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth beat "The Ominous One" Oliver Orson in 6 at 5:11 (Suplex) by 88.
SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth beat TBABIT: Amazing Fred at 29:54 (Goin' Gold) by 4.
HERO: The Rocklet destroyed Big Mr. Tuffet in 6 at 2:58 (Flying Dropkick) by 103.
HERO: The Rocklet won over Edward Worthington in 6 at 2:39 (Flying Dropkick) by 123.
TBABIT: Travis Cornelius Rupert pinned SOS: J-WOAH Fairley at 28:28 (Backbreaker) by 1.
EDGE: The Terminator pinned SOS/ARMY: The Ruffian at 27:12 (Southside Piledriver) by 4.
SOS: Snicki Pulizzi over TBABIT: "Super Woke" Dan Smith in 11 at 27:05 (Disqualification: hit opponent with microphone).
Main event: SOS/ARMY: Bro Shambles decked SOS/ARMY: "Pimp Daddy" Hootie Jones at 21:12 (Bro's Bionic Elbow) by 14.

Card 14: Held in Zagreb (Attendance: 1,881)

SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth over Jackson Black in 1 at 1:06 (Disqualification: hidden spike).
HERO: Harden DaBoof pinned SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth at 29:38 (Diss Track) by 2.
HERO: The Rocklet over Justin Justice in 2 at 5:07 (Disqualification: pushed ref).
SOS/ARMY: "Bad Influence" Zepp Rattburn bested TBABIT: "Super Woke" Dan Smith at 4:03 (Bad Day to Lose) by 28.
SOS: Esau the Soup Connoisseur pinned EDGE: The Terminator at 27:46 (Split Pea Suplex) by 3.
TV title: SOS/ARMY: D-Dog Hardcore pinned EDGE: The Terminator at 16:11 (Hardcore Cutter) by 8.

SOS: Absalom the Mule Whisperer and HERO: Kawasaki Eataneggroll* decked SOS: Esau the Soup Connoisseur and Lot's Salty Wife* at 28:49 (Eggrollup) by 1.
Main event: SOS/ARMY: Bro Shambles outmuscled EDGE/2XCHAMP: Riki Tiki Tavi Steamboat at 12:47 (Bro's Bionic Elbow) by 15.

Card 15: Held in Louisville (Attendance: 6,244)

SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth decked Big Mr. Tuffet in 6 at 0:39 (Suplex) by 104.
SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth beat TBABIT: "Super Woke" Dan Smith in 7 at 17:02 (Big Boot) by 8.
HERO: The Rocklet over Luke Liberty in 2 at 8:20 (Count Out).
SOS/ARMY: Dregg defeated EDGE: The Terminator at 29:40 (Pedigree onto thumbtacks) by 4.
SOS: Esau the Soup Connoisseur annihilated HERO: Glass City Assassin Riot at 17:49 (Split Pea Suplex) by 8.
TBABIT: Travis Cornelius Rupert defeated EDGE: The Terminator at 29:17 (Backbreaker) by 5.
League Tag-team titles: EDGE: Mr. White* and Mr. Blue overpowered SOS: Absalom the Mule Whisperer and HERO: Kawasaki Eataneggroll* at 16:35 (Superplex) by 8.

Main event: SOS/ARMY: Bro Shambles decked EDGE: Pain at 38:49 (Bro's Bionic Elbow) by 13.

Card 16: Held in Austin (Attendance: 1,337)

SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth destroyed Justin Justice in 7 at 4:01 (Big Boot) by 115.
Northeast title: EDGE: CM Funk bested SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Bodyguard Rawdog at 28:43 (Backbreaker) by 1.

HERO: Cherith Cutestory over TBABIT: "Super Woke" Dan Smith in 13 at 6:46 (Count Out).
Pacific Northwest title: SOS/ARMY: "Boozefighter" Hector Carrasco beat SOS: Esau the Soup Connoisseur at 27:57 (Ese Boozing, Homie Losing) by 4.

SOS: Esau the Soup Connoisseur beat TBABIT: Amazing Fred at 17:03 (Split Pea Suplex) by 6.
SOS/ARMY: Tragedy won over EDGE: The Terminator at 27:36 (Final Atonement) by 5.
TV Tag-team titles: EDGE: Mr. Pink* and Mr. Brown outmuscled SOS: Esau the Soup Connoisseur and Lot's Salty Wife* at 24:12 (Superplex) by 9.

Main event: SOS/ARMY: Bro Shambles won over SOS/ARMY: "Unhinged" Bubba Whistler at 56:00 (Bro's Bionic Elbow) by 5.

Card 17: Held in Edmonton (Attendance: 8,626)

SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth bested Luke Liberty in 6 at 0:40 (Suplex) by 111.
HERO: Sta'Ohndys Johnson outmuscled SOS: Eglon the Human Scabbard at 18:15 (Earn It) by 6.
HERO: The Rocklet outmuscled Hank "the Jazz Demon" Cabrelli in 6 at 4:38 (Flying Dropkick) by 86.
SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Blowfish Mikaya overpowered HERO: Brian Latham at 16:36 (The Moneymaker) by 10 (Guest Referee: HERO: Glass City Assassin Anarchy).
SOS: Esau the Soup Connoisseur defeated EDGE: Dollar Bill at 27:13 (Split Pea Suplex) by 4.
SOS/ARMY: Gritt annihilated EDGE: The Terminator at 28:11 (Probation Violation) by 5.
EDGE: Mr. White*, Mr. Blue, and Mr. Blonde drew EDGE: Mr. Pink*, Mr. Brown, and Mr. Orange at 5:43 (Double Disqualification).

Card 18: Held in Jacksonville (Attendance: 7,489)

SOS/ARMY: Gangsta Rapper Goldmouth beat Hank "the Jazz Demon" Cabrelli in 6 at 4:14 (Suplex) by 87.
TBABIT: Deranged bested SOS: Absalom the Mule Whisperer at 18:36 (Cobra Clutch) by 7.
HERO: The Rocklet pinned Captain Chip Ahoy in 10 at 1:07 (Suplex) by 127.
Central Plains title: SOS/ARMY: Madman Schrodinger beat TBABIT: Travis Cornelius Rupert in 8 at 27:39 (Palm Strike) by 1.

SOS/ARMY: Hootie's Blowfish Mikaya destroyed EDGE: Owen Scott at 21:48 (The Moneymaker) by 7.
HERO: Kawasaki Eataneggroll won over EDGE: The Terminator at 27:28 (Eggrollup) by 2.

Battle Royal: Held in Kincaid (Attendance: 2,813)

HERO: Brian Latham earned $1,000 after SOS/ARMY: "Boozefighter" Hector Carrasco catapulted him out of the ring.
SOS/ARMY: "Bloodstained Xtremist" Jefferson Creed was paid an imaginary $1,100 after getting thrown over the turnbuckle by SOS/ARMY: "Boozefighter" Hector Carrasco.
SOS/ARMY: "Boozefighter" Hector Carrasco was the winner of the battle royal and its $40,000 prize.

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