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COWBOYS & OUTLAWS LEAGUE |
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| BULLETIN #312 -- SEPTEMBER 2025 |
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| Card 1: Held in Santiago (Attendance: 2,848) |
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CURE/VD: Chlamydia outmuscled Tom Arnold in 6 at 2:48 (Mounted Punches) by 87.
CURE/VD: Chlamydia won over Lizzo in 6 at 6:39 (Mounted Punches) by 79.
CURE/VD: Chlamydia annihilated Chris Webber in 6 at 3:08 (Mounted Punches) by 99.
CURE/VD: Cactus Sac tied CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 6:24 (Double Disqualification).
CURE/CTI: Family Jewels overpowered COT: Devil Kyle at 29:03 (Superplex) by 4.
CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson beat CURE/VD: Wicked Clown at 22:36 (Piledriver) by 6.
COT: Lark Martin and SOS: Dark Messyer* bested COT: Murder Chef G-Unit Ramsay and SOS: Wrath* at 17:12 (The Cross Check) by 9.
Main event: CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson outmuscled CURE/VD: "Drunk" Terry Flunk at 28:14 (Piledriver) by 1 (Guest Referee: CURE/VD: Norovirus). |
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| Card 2: Held in Pittsburgh (Attendance: 2,088) |
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SOS: Gary String outmuscled SOS: Javy Jaggar at 29:40 (Another Bad Pun?) by 4.
CURE/VD: Chlamydia bested Lady Gaga in 6 at 4:32 (Mounted Punches) by 81.
CURE/VD: Chlamydia defeated Leon Lett in 6 at 3:50 (Mounted Punches) by 87.
COT: Bad Norman pinned CURE/VD: Cactus Sac at 27:04 (Triple Crown Beatdown) by 1 (Guest Referee: Drita D'Avanzo).
CURE/CTI: Family Jewels overpowered SOS: Prejudice at 28:44 (Superplex) by 3.
CURE/VD: Candyman destroyed CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 29:45 (Butterfinger) by 1 (Guest Referee: SOS: LE Williams).
COT: Quail Earnhardt and SOS: Zitz* pinned COT: Murder Chef G-Unit Ramsay and SOS: Wrath* at 21:25 (Zigga Zig Ah) by 7.
Main event: CURE/VD: Cactus Sac tied CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 6:35 (Double Disqualification). |
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| Card 3: Held in Bordeaux (Attendance: 1,836) |
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CURE/VD: Cactus Sac decked COT: Murder Chef G-Unit Ramsay at 17:40 (Piledriver) by 6.
CURE/VD: Chlamydia beat Taylor Swift in 6 at 1:55 (Mounted Punches) by 115.
CURE/VD: Chlamydia bested Gary Anderson in 6 at 4:23 (Mounted Punches) by 85.
Central Plains title: SOS: Irma Gerd annihilated CURE/VD: Cactus Sac at 29:20 (Irma Genius) by 2.
CURE/CTI: Family Jewels pinned COT: Murder Chef Wolfgang Punk at 27:05 (Superplex) by 4.
CURE/CTI: M.J.'s #1 Fan of ? bested CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 28:14 (Piledriver) by 1 (Guest Referee: SOS: Wrath).
COT: Mark Mywards and SOS: "Pistol" Pez Dispenser* bested COT: Murder Chef G-Unit Ramsay and SOS: Wrath* at 20:14 (Cherry Pop Tart) by 7.
Main event: CURE/VD: Candyman overpowered CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 59:18 (Butterfinger) by 1 (Guest Referee: COT: Davey Jameis). |
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| Card 4: Held in Boston (Attendance: 5,555) |
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CURE/VD: The Speckled Monster beat COT: Blue J. Foyt at 28:34 (Piledriver) by 2.
CURE/VD: Chlamydia over Mama June in 1 at 3:47 (Count Out).
CURE/VD: Chlamydia defeated Fallen Paparazzi #1 in 6 at 1:18 (Mounted Punches) by 139.
CURE/VD: Cactus Sac drew SOS: Preston James at 2:12 (Double Count Out).
CURE/VD: Norovirus tied CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 4:58 (No Contest).
CURE/VD: Candyman decked SOS: Garth String at 28:58 (Butterfinger) by 2.
SOS: Sloth* and COT: Devil Kyle overpowered COT: Murder Chef G-Unit Ramsay and SOS: Wrath* at 27:51 (The Pig Pen) by 5.
Main event: CURE/VD: The Speckled Monster won over CURE/VD: Candyman at 27:55 (Piledriver) by 2. |
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| Card 5: Held in Accra (Attendance: 7,696) |
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COT: Blue J. Foyt tied CURE/VD: Candyman at 27:52 (No Contest).
SOS: Pimple beat Richard Hatch in 6 at 4:31 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 117.
CURE/VD: Chlamydia beat Martin Van Buren in 6 at 4:07 (Mounted Punches) by 90.
COT: Finnabee Pead pinned CURE/VD: Cactus Sac at 29:21 (Ellaminnow) by 1 (Guest Referee: CURE/CTI: Bootylicious).
CURE/VD: Norovirus destroyed COT: Bully Ray Cyrus at 28:18 (Superplex) by 3.
SOS: Gary String overpowered COT: Crawdad Overlord at 19:59 (Another Bad Pun?) by 12.
COT: Murder Chef G-Unit Ramsay and SOS: Wrath* won over COT: Davey Jameis and SOS: Irma Gerd* at 27:46 (Revenge is Sweet) by 3.
Main event: SOS: Alabama Doink decked CURE/VD: The Speckled Monster at 58:22 (Hey Hey It's Conrad) by 5. |
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| Card 6: Held in Denver (Attendance: 6,484) |
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CURE/VD: The Speckled Monster annihilated COT: Lark Martin at 27:06 (Piledriver) by 2.
SOS: "Pistol" Pez Dispenser outmuscled Richard Hatch in 6 at 1:54 (Side Slam) by 116.
CURE/VD: Chlamydia over Ross Perot in 1 at 5:16 (Disqualification: pushed ref).
Rocky Mountains title: SOS: Greed defeated CURE/VD: Norovirus at 27:26 (Jackpot) by 2.
SOS: Gary String beat CURE/CTI: Gynecologists at 15:51 (Another Bad Pun?) by 7.
SOS: Gary String beat SOS: Envy at 19:33 (Another Bad Pun?) by 6.
COT: Petey LaFlame and Finnabee Pead* defeated COT: Murder Chef G-Unit Ramsay and SOS: Wrath* at 28:25 (ImPEADament) by 5.
Main event: SOS: Alabama Doink won over CURE/VD: HIV at 40:37 (Hey Hey It's Conrad) by 4. |
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| Card 7: Held in Pahrump (Attendance: 2,633) |
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SOS: Wrath pinned SOS: Dark Messyer at 22:58 (Revenge is Sweet) by 7.
SOS: LE Williams decked Richard Hatch in 6 at 1:19 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 120.
SOS: Wrath pinned SOS: Sloth at 17:11 (Revenge is Sweet) by 11.
CURE/VD: HIV outmuscled SOS: Gluttony at 28:28 (Piledriver) by 3.
SOS: Gary String annihilated CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 21:47 (Another Bad Pun?) by 6.
SOS: Gary String pinned COT: Jack Tupp at 22:37 (Another Bad Pun?) by 7.
SOS: Shane Gretsky* and COT: Bully Ray Cyrus destroyed COT: Davey Jameis and SOS: Irma Gerd* at 21:55 (The Slap Shot) by 10.
Main event: SOS: Alabama Doink won over CURE/VD: Norovirus at 22:50 (Hey Hey It's Conrad) by 8. |
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| Card 8: Held in Tulsa (Attendance: 1,761) |
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CURE/VD: Norovirus annihilated SOS: Shane Gretsky at 29:23 (Superplex) by 2.
CURE/VD: Chlamydia pinned Richard Hatch in 6 at 3:59 (Mounted Punches) by 118.
SOS: Wrath annihilated CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 16:10 (Revenge is Sweet) by 9 (non-title).
SOS: Alabama Doink overpowered CURE/CTI: Bootylicious at 21:13 (Hey Hey It's Conrad) by 10.
CURE/VD: HIV defeated CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 28:27 (Piledriver) by 4.
SOS: Gary String won over CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster at 28:52 (Another Bad Pun?) by 3.
TV Tag-team titles: SOS: Rash* and COT: Bad Norman destroyed COT: Davey Jameis and SOS: Irma Gerd* at 14:51 (Intense Itching) by 14.
Main event: SOS: Wrath defeated SOS: Alabama Doink at 46:36 (Revenge is Sweet) by 1 (Guest Referee: Chester Worstershire). |
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| Card 9: Held in Cincinnati (Attendance: 2,796) |
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SOS: Alabama Doink defeated COT: Quail Earnhardt at 19:29 (Hey Hey It's Conrad) by 11.
CURE/VD: HIV bested SOS: Zitz at 17:02 (Piledriver) by 6.
SOS: Wrath won over CURE/CTI: Humpty Hump at 15:09 (Revenge is Sweet) by 11.
SOS: Alabama Doink beat CURE/CTI: Rectal at 19:59 (Hey Hey It's Conrad) by 11.
SOS: Oma Gerd outmuscled CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 24:25 (Oma Gosh) by 7.
CURE/VD: HIV outmuscled COT: Runner Downe at 28:04 (Piledriver) by 3.
SOS: Greed* and COT: Runner Downe outmuscled COT: Davey Jameis and SOS: Irma Gerd* at 18:28 (Jackpot) by 12.
Main event: SOS: Wrath won over SOS: Gary String at 42:21 (Revenge is Sweet) by 3. |
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| Card 10: Held in Los Angeles (Attendance: 5,540) |
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CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster won over The Creepy Crawler in 6 at 4:06 (Cross-Armbar) by 95.
CURE/VD: Chlamydia beat Andy Herren in 6 at 3:45 (Mounted Punches) by 118.
SOS: Wrath beat COT: Murder Chef Bobby Slay at 15:16 (Revenge is Sweet) by 9.
TV title: SOS: Alabama Doink won over CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 15:05 (Hey Hey It's Conrad) by 8.
CURE/VD: Chlamydia destroyed CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 28:17 (Piledriver) by 2.
CURE/VD: Candyman won over COT: Davey Jameis at 24:45 (Butterfinger) by 7.
SOS: Lust* and COT: Jack Tupp decked COT: Davey Jameis and SOS: Irma Gerd* at 18:00 (Sudden Attraction) by 10.
Main event: SOS: Wrath annihilated CURE/CTI: Family Jewels at 26:46 (Revenge is Sweet) by 8. |
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| Card 11: Held in Youngstown (Attendance: 1,996) |
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CURE/VD: HIV beat COT: Yohm Ahma at 27:36 (Piledriver) by 3.
CURE/VD: Chlamydia beat Josh Duggar in 6 at 4:02 (Mounted Punches) by 90.
SOS: Wrath defeated CURE/VD: The Speckled Monster at 16:16 (Revenge is Sweet) by 6 (non-title).
SOS: Alabama Doink pinned SOS: Lust at 21:14 (Hey Hey It's Conrad) by 8.
COT: Hoser Downe pinned CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 27:29 (Downe & Dirty) by 1 (Guest Referee: COT: Mark Mywards).
SOS: Gill T tied CURE/VD: The Speckled Monster (Time Limit).
SOS: Prejudice* and COT: Murder Chef Wolfgang Punk annihilated COT: Davey Jameis and SOS: Irma Gerd* at 20:05 (And Zombies) by 8.
Main event: SOS: Wrath won over COT: Hoser Downe at 23:50 (Revenge is Sweet) by 8. |
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| Card 12: Held in Ciudad Juarez (Attendance: 7,887) |
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CURE/VD: Chlamydia pinned Hugh Grant in 6 at 4:03 (Mounted Punches) by 111.
SOS: Alabama Doink beat SOS: Rash at 17:57 (Hey Hey It's Conrad) by 6.
SOS: Wrath beat COT: The Hooves of Durl at 22:00 (Revenge is Sweet) by 9.
SOS: Alabama Doink pinned CURE/VD: Chlamydia at 21:27 (Hey Hey It's Conrad) by 6.
CURE/VD: The Speckled Monster overpowered CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 28:00 (Piledriver) by 3.
CURE/VD: Candyman defeated COT: Petey LaFlame at 28:59 (Butterfinger) by 1 (Guest Referee: SOS: Celery Man).
League Six-man titles: COT: Murder Chef G-Unit Ramsay, Yohm Ahma*, and Murder Chef Bobby Slay won over SOS: Sloth*, Greed, and COT: Jack Tupp at 28:31 (Go and Ask Her) by 3.
Main event: SOS: Wrath beat CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster at 38:08 (Revenge is Sweet) by 6. |
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| Card 13: Held in Orange Beach (Attendance: 1,866) |
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CURE/VD: Chlamydia pinned Lil' Baby in 6 at 2:28 (Mounted Punches) by 98.
CURE/VD: Chlamydia outmuscled Khloe Kardashian in 6 at 4:36 (Mounted Punches) by 110.
SOS: Wrath pinned CURE/VD: Wicked Clown at 7:46 (Revenge is Sweet) by 15.
SOS: Alabama Doink destroyed COT: Hoser Downe at 17:14 (Hey Hey It's Conrad) by 7.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade bested CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 27:23 (Rip Current) by 1 (Guest Referee: E.Z. Pickens).
CURE/VD: The Speckled Monster overpowered COT: Hunter Downe at 28:13 (Piledriver) by 2.
TV Six-man titles: COT: Davey Jameis, Hunter Downe*, and The Hooves of Durl outmuscled SOS: Shane Gretsky*, Lust, and COT: Murder Chef Wolfgang Punk at 27:34 (Further Downe Under) by 1 (Guest Referee: Samuel B. Sorry).
Main event: SOS: Wrath decked CURE/VD: Gone Aria at 41:51 (Revenge is Sweet) by 5. |
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| Card 14: Held in Everglades City (Attendance: 4,069) |
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CURE/VD: Norovirus bested COT: Mark Mywards at 27:12 (Superplex) by 1 (Guest Referee: SOS: Lust).
CURE/VD: Chlamydia defeated Drita D'Avanzo in 6 at 3:43 (Mounted Punches) by 69.
CURE/VD: Gone Aria won over CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 27:36 (Superplex) by 4.
SOS: Alabama Doink destroyed CURE/VD: Spanish Flu at 11:22 (Hey Hey It's Conrad) by 13.
CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson destroyed CURE/VD: Spanish Flu at 29:35 (Piledriver) by 5.
CURE/VD: Candyman outmuscled SOS: Lifeguard Daron at 29:52 (Butterfinger) by 2.
SOS: Shane Gretsky*, Lust, and COT: Murder Chef Wolfgang Punk overpowered SOS: Sloth*, Greed, and COT: Jack Tupp at 27:18 (The Slap Shot) by 2.
Main event: SOS: Wrath overpowered CURE/CTI: M.J.'s #1 Fan of ? at 39:34 (Revenge is Sweet) by 8. |
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| Card 15: Held in Avila (Attendance: 5,513) |
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CURE/VD: Chlamydia beat Vanilla Ice in 6 at 4:26 (Mounted Punches) by 121.
CURE/VD: Chlamydia overpowered Fred Merkle in 6 at 3:56 (Mounted Punches) by 83.
SOS: Gary String annihilated CURE/VD: Gone Aria at 29:07 (Another Bad Pun?) by 2.
CURE/CTI: Family Jewels destroyed CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 27:30 (Superplex) by 1 (Guest Referee: Millard Fillmore).
CURE/VD: Wicked Ringmaster bested CURE/CTI: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 28:17 (Chicken Hunting) by 3.
League Tag-team titles: SOS: Javy Jaggar* and COT: Blue J. Foyt outmuscled COT: Murder Chef G-Unit Ramsay and SOS: Wrath* at 13:46 (The Five Hole) by 11.
Main event: SOS: Wrath won over SOS: Scott Commodity at 26:16 (Revenge is Sweet) by 10. |
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| Battle Royal: Held in Chicago (Attendance: 9,141) |
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| COT: Crawdad Overlord won the COL battle royal and the $30,000 purse. |
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