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CELEBRITIES ONLY LEAGUE

BULLETIN #277 -- SEPTEMBER 2023

Card 1: Held in Red Hook (Attendance: 8,344)

SOS: Lifeguard Wade outmuscled Tom Arnold at 6:44 (Ankle Lock) by 83.
VIRUS: Wicked Ringmaster beat Lizzo at 4:13 (Mounted Punches) by 72.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade over Drita D'Avanzo at 13:04 (Count Out).
VIRUS: Wicked Ringmaster beat Ross Perot at 1:40 (Mounted Punches) by 127.
VIRUS: Zika Virus defeated VIRUS: Gynecologists at 27:31 (Backbreaker) by 5.
VIRUS: Humpty Hump annihilated VIRUS: Cow Pox at 20:04 (Backbreaker) by 6.
NME/VIP: Samuel Shekels drew NME: Striker Jedi at 6:36 (Double Count Out).
TV Six-man titles: VIRUS: Tonsillitis, Strep Throat*, and Family Jewels over SOS: Gill T, LE Williams*, and Lifeguard Daron at 11:51 (Count Out).

Main event: NME: Masked Misfit #2 overpowered NME: Striker Jedi at 30:26 (Stunner) by 3.

Card 2: Held in Greensboro (Attendance: 7,271)

VIRUS: Wicked Ringmaster decked Tom Arnold at 0:43 (Big Splash) by 185.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade beat Lady Gaga at 6:33 (Ankle Lock) by 68.
VIRUS: Wicked Ringmaster won over Drita D'Avanzo at 5:56 (Mounted Punches) by 69.
NME: Masked Misfit #1 decked SOS: Wrath at 28:49 (Stunner) by 3.
NME: Masked Misfit #1 pinned VIRUS: Rectal at 29:20 (Stunner) by 1.
VIRUS: Humpty Hump annihilated NME/VIP: Donald Dinero at 23:34 (Backbreaker) by 7.
NME/VIP: Samuel Shekels outmuscled NME/VIP: "The Ace" Cliff Lee at 29:05 (Stunner) by 2.
Main event: NME: Masked Misfit #2 pinned VIRUS: Horse Pox at 31:31 (Stunner) by 4.

Card 3: Held in Naples (Attendance: 4,424)

East Coast title: SOS: Javy Jaggar defeated NME/VIP: Samuel Shekels at 29:10 (The Five Hole) by 1.
VIRUS: Wicked Ringmaster won over Lady Gaga at 2:30 (Mounted Punches) by 69.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade decked Andres Escobar at 3:02 (Cross-Armbar) by 120.
NME: Masked Misfit #1 defeated VIRUS: Pink Eye at 29:41 (Stunner) by 3.
TV title: VIRUS: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson destroyed NME: Striker Jedi at 22:00 (Backbreaker) by 7.

VIRUS: Humpty Hump bested NME: Striker Jedi at 29:32 (Backbreaker) by 5.
NME/VIP: Chris Currency drew NME: Masked Misfit #1 at 4:39 (Double Count Out).
Main event: NME: Masked Misfit #2 overpowered NME/VIP: Samuel Shekels at 36:24 (Stunner) by 3.

Card 4: Held in Hollywood (Attendance: 5,749)

SOS: Dark Messyer bested VIRUS: Horse Pox at 27:21 (The Cross Check) by 5.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade annihilated Taylor Swift at 1:35 (DDT) by 161.
NME: Masked Misfit #2 overpowered Andres Escobar at 3:35 (Chickenwing) by 77 (non-title).
SOS: Greed destroyed VIRUS: The Smog at 28:23 (Jackpot) by 2.
VIRUS: Spanish Flu bested SOS: Garth String at 16:30 (Backbreaker) by 8.
NME/VIP: Samuel Shekels beat VIRUS: Shingles at 27:43 (Stunner) by 4.
NME: Striker Jedi decked NME/VIP: Chris Currency at 28:50 (Stunner) by 1.
Main event: NME: Masked Misfit #2 annihilated VIRUS: Patrick at 44:40 (Stunner) by 1.

Card 5: Held in Trenton (Attendance: 8,476)

Southeast title: SOS: Pimple defeated SOS: Shane Gretsky at 16:29 (The Popper) by 6.
VIRUS: Wicked Ringmaster won over Taylor Swift at 0:45 (Piledriver) by 162.
VIRUS: Wicked Ringmaster bested Andres Escobar at 4:04 (Mounted Punches) by 78.
VIRUS: Gone Aria beat NME: Striker Jedi at 27:59 (Backbreaker) by 3.
NME/VIP: Samuel Shekels bested NME/VIP: Yeti Yen at 28:09 (Stunner) by 4.
SOS: Irma Gerd drew NME/VIP: Samuel Shekels at 4:01 (Double Count Out).
NME: Striker Jedi beat NME/VIP: Donald Dinero at 29:30 (Stunner) by 2.
Main event: VIRUS: Humpty Hump beat NME: Masked Misfit #2 at 57:43 (Backbreaker) by 2.

Card 6: Held in Buffalo (Attendance: 9,840)

SOS: Sloth annihilated SOS: Shane Gretsky at 27:06 (The Pig Pen) by 1.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade defeated Mama June at 0:51 (Ankle Lock) by 108.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade overpowered Fred Merkle at 0:49 (Big Splash) by 177.
Central Plains title: VIRUS: Cactus Sac overpowered VIRUS: Horse Pox at 18:08 (Backbreaker) by 8.

VIRUS: Zika Virus annihilated SOS: Lust at 15:54 (Backbreaker) by 7.
VIRUS: Spanish Flu outmuscled SOS: Gill T at 16:34 (Backbreaker) by 8.
VIRUS: Wicked Ringmaster won over NME: Striker Jedi at 27:07 (Chicken Hunting) by 4.
Main event: VIRUS: Spanish Flu bested VIRUS: Humpty Hump at 29:55 (Backbreaker) by 3.

Card 7: Held in Huntsville (Attendance: 1,086)

SOS: Shane Gretsky decked VIRUS: Strep Throat at 28:44 (The Slap Shot) by 1.
VIRUS: Wicked Ringmaster defeated Mama June at 2:23 (Mounted Punches) by 109.
VIRUS: Wicked Ringmaster defeated Fred Merkle at 2:48 (Big Splash) by 181.
Rocky Mountains title: SOS: Gluttony destroyed SOS: Greed at 28:15 (Pig Out) by 3.

VIRUS: Zika Virus won over VIRUS: Swine Flu at 28:51 (Backbreaker) by 4.
VIRUS: Chlamydia outmuscled NME: Striker Jedi at 16:20 (Backbreaker) by 6.
NME: Striker Jedi won over SOS: Scott Commodity at 28:28 (Stunner) by 1.
Main event: VIRUS: Spanish Flu pinned VIRUS: Zika Virus at 51:31 (Backbreaker) by 4.

Card 8: Held in Burton (Attendance: 9,120)

VIRUS: Family Jewels overpowered SOS: Shane Gretsky at 27:20 (Big Splash) by 1.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade defeated Richard Hatch at 2:54 (Ankle Lock) by 106.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade overpowered Chris Webber at 2:56 (Ankle Lock) by 99.
SOS: Greed pinned SOS: Alabama Doink at 29:49 (Jackpot) by 2.
VIRUS: Zika Virus outmuscled NME: Striker Jedi at 29:01 (Backbreaker) by 4.
SOS: Prejudice destroyed VIRUS: Horse Pox at 27:57 (And Zombies) by 1.
NME: Striker Jedi pinned NME/VIP: The Rocket Roy Halladay at 27:37 (Stunner) by 5.
Main event: VIRUS: Spanish Flu destroyed SOS: Greed at 34:32 (Backbreaker) by 9 (Guest Referee: SOS: Gary String).

Card 9: Held in Alberta (Attendance: 1,663)

NME: Striker Jedi outmuscled SOS: Shane Gretsky at 28:46 (Stunner) by 2.
NME: Masked Misfit #1 won over Richard Hatch at 3:53 (Mounted Punches) by 108.
VIRUS: Wicked Ringmaster beat Chris Webber at 4:50 (Mounted Punches) by 100.
VIRUS: Yellow Fever outmuscled SOS: Greed at 27:42 (Backbreaker) by 1.
Pacific Northwest title: VIRUS: Candyman outmuscled VIRUS: Zika Virus at 28:56 (Butterfinger) by 3.

VIRUS: Sponge Bob destroyed NME: Masked Misfit #1 at 28:21 (Backbreaker) by 1.
NME/VIP: Herosaki decked NME: Striker Jedi at 27:25 (Stunner) by 4.
Main event: VIRUS: Spanish Flu bested SOS: Shane Gretsky at 49:08 (Backbreaker) by 10.

Card 10: Held in Nice (Attendance: 7,104)

NME: Masked Misfit #3 overpowered SOS: Shane Gretsky at 27:52 (Stunner) by 3.
VIRUS: Wicked Ringmaster annihilated Richard Hatch at 0:57 (Mounted Punches) by 107.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade defeated Leon Lett at 4:51 (Ankle Lock) by 74.
NME: Striker Jedi won over SOS: Greed at 27:27 (Stunner) by 1.
VIRUS: Zika Virus outmuscled NME/VIP: Mr. YLL Mike Carver at 13:53 (Backbreaker) by 12.
NME/VIP: Samuel Shekels overpowered SOS: Lifeguard Daron at 28:12 (Stunner) by 4.
NME: Charred Nightmare* and Masked Misfit #2 decked Richard Hatch and Andres Escobar* at 6:47 (Cross-Armbar) by 77.
Main event: VIRUS: Spanish Flu outmuscled NME: Masked Misfit #1 at 33:48 (Backbreaker) by 9 (Guest Referee: VIRUS: Zika Virus).

Card 11: Held in Midtown (Attendance: 9,648)

NME: Charred Nightmare pinned VIRUS: Patrick at 28:30 (Backbreaker) by 1.
VIRUS: Bootylicious pinned SOS: Zitz at 19:54 (Backbreaker) by 6.
VIRUS: Wicked Ringmaster destroyed Leon Lett at 6:21 (Mounted Punches) by 75.
VIRUS: Spanish Flu defeated VIRUS: Tonsillitis at 19:40 (Backbreaker) by 8.
Great Lakes title: VIRUS: HIV bested VIRUS: Patrick at 28:40 (Backbreaker) by 3.

SOS: Preston James drew VIRUS: Horse Pox (Time Limit).
VIRUS: Pink Eye and Bootylicious* pinned NME: Charred Nightmare and Masked Misfit #2* at 28:42 (Backbreaker) by 3.
Main event: VIRUS: Spanish Flu decked VIRUS: Bootylicious at 37:44 (Backbreaker) by 1.

Card 12: Held in Edinburgh (Attendance: 4,696)

SOS: Lifeguard Wade bested Hugh Grant at 2:18 (Ankle Lock) by 100.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade bested Andy Herren at 0:33 (Ankle Lock) by 109.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade outmuscled Gary Anderson at 2:19 (Arm Drag Takedown) by 88.
VIRUS: Zika Virus won over SOS: "Pistol" Pez Dispenser at 28:31 (Backbreaker) by 4.
VIRUS: Patrick decked SOS: Oma Gerd at 28:52 (Backbreaker) by 5.
VIRUS: Spanish Flu bested NME/VIP: Chester Springs at 11:03 (Backbreaker) by 11.
VIRUS: Pink Eye and Bootylicious* beat VIRUS: Protozoa and Humpty Hump* at 29:41 (Backbreaker) by 2.
Main event: VIRUS: Spanish Flu decked NME/VIP: Herosaki at 45:41 (Backbreaker) by 4.

Card 13: Held in Stockholm (Attendance: 6,813)

VIRUS: Wicked Ringmaster annihilated Hugh Grant at 0:51 (Mounted Punches) by 101.
VIRUS: Wicked Ringmaster defeated Andy Herren at 4:32 (Mounted Punches) by 110.
VIRUS: Wicked Ringmaster bested Gary Anderson at 6:41 (Ankle Lock) by 91.
VIRUS: Bootylicious bested VIRUS: Squidward at 16:04 (Backbreaker) by 8.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade defeated VIRUS: Patrick at 29:17 (Rip Current) by 1.
NME: Striker Jedi overpowered NME/VIP: Chester Springs at 29:24 (Stunner) by 3.
SOS: Javy Jaggar, Zitz, and Rash* destroyed SOS: Gill T, LE Williams*, and Lifeguard Daron at 29:43 (Intense Itching) by 1.
Main event: VIRUS: Spanish Flu won over VIRUS: Wicked Ringmaster at 58:38 (Backbreaker) by 4.

Card 14: Held in Everglades City (Attendance: 3,917)

SOS: Lifeguard Wade overpowered Lil' Baby at 5:05 (Ankle Lock) by 86.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade defeated Josh Duggar at 0:18 (Rip Current) by 169.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade pinned Fallen Paparazzi #1 at 2:44 (Ankle Lock) by 117.
VIRUS: Bootylicious defeated SOS: Envy at 29:54 (Backbreaker) by 4.
VIRUS: Patrick tied NME/VIP: Gavin Greenbacks at 4:13 (No Contest).
VIRUS: Spanish Flu beat NME: Striker Jedi at 15:54 (Backbreaker) by 8 (non-title).
SOS: Dark Messyer*, Pimple, and Alabama Doink outmuscled SOS: Gill T, LE Williams*, and Lifeguard Daron at 29:02 (The Cross Check) by 1.
Main event: VIRUS: Spanish Flu beat VIRUS: Mr. Stretchknutzz Johnson at 59:28 (Backbreaker) by 1.

Card 15: Held in Paris (Attendance: 7,386)

VIRUS: Wicked Ringmaster pinned Lil' Baby at 2:09 (Mounted Punches) by 87.
VIRUS: Wicked Ringmaster won over Josh Duggar at 1:31 (Chicken Hunting) by 170.
VIRUS: Wicked Ringmaster destroyed Fallen Paparazzi #1 at 4:26 (Mounted Punches) by 118.
VIRUS: Bootylicious decked NME: Striker Jedi at 16:35 (Backbreaker) by 7.
VIRUS: Patrick decked NME: Striker Jedi at 27:14 (Backbreaker) by 2.
NME: Striker Jedi annihilated VIRUS: Horse Pox at 28:06 (Stunner) by 1.
League Six-man titles: SOS: Gill T, LE Williams*, and Lifeguard Daron bested SOS: Shane Gretsky, Sloth*, and Lust at 28:29 (Ball And Chain) by 1.

Main event: VIRUS: Spanish Flu outmuscled VIRUS: Gone Aria at 47:44 (Backbreaker) by 5.

Card 16: Held in Portland (Attendance: 1,598)

SOS: Lifeguard Wade decked Vanilla Ice at 3:08 (Ankle Lock) by 115.
Southwest title: SOS: Rash pinned NME: Masked Misfit #1 at 29:11 (Intense Itching) by 2.

NME: Striker Jedi annihilated Fallen Paparazzi #1 at 2:44 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 120 (non-title).
VIRUS: Bootylicious bested NME: Mike Eaves at 19:28 (Backbreaker) by 7.
VIRUS: Humpty Hump outmuscled SOS: Gary String at 28:42 (Backbreaker) by 2.
NME/VIP: Herosaki decked VIRUS: Horse Pox at 28:37 (Stunner) by 5.
VIRUS: Protozoa, Gynecologists*, and Yellow Fever over SOS: Gill T, LE Williams*, and Lifeguard Daron at 9:37 (Count Out).
Main event: VIRUS: Spanish Flu beat NME/VIP: The Rocket Roy Halladay at 18:02 (Backbreaker) by 13.

Card 17: Held in San Diego (Attendance: 1,248)

VIRUS: Wicked Ringmaster destroyed Vanilla Ice at 4:33 (Mounted Punches) by 116.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade annihilated Khloe Kardashian at 1:39 (Ankle Lock) by 105.
VIRUS: Horse Pox overpowered VIRUS: Protozoa at 28:14 (Backbreaker) by 2.
VIRUS: Bootylicious pinned NME/VIP: The Rocket Roy Halladay at 18:37 (Backbreaker) by 12.
VIRUS: Humpty Hump outmuscled SOS: LE Williams at 29:26 (Backbreaker) by 5.
NME/VIP: Samuel Shekels tied VIRUS: "Drunk" Terry Flunk at 2:06 (No Contest).
VIRUS: Pink Eye, Rectal*, and Cow Pox annihilated SOS: Gill T, LE Williams*, and Lifeguard Daron at 16:43 (Big Splash) by 11.

Card 18: Held in Quebec (Attendance: 7,187)

SOS: Lifeguard Wade pinned Lizzo at 2:50 (Ankle Lock) by 71.
VIRUS: Wicked Ringmaster bested Khloe Kardashian at 2:37 (Mounted Punches) by 106.
SOS: Lifeguard Wade won over Ross Perot at 2:52 (Ankle Lock) by 126.
VIRUS: Spanish Flu overpowered VIRUS: Norovirus at 24:02 (Backbreaker) by 7.
VIRUS: Humpty Hump outmuscled VIRUS: Influenza at 21:20 (Backbreaker) by 8.
NME/VIP: Samuel Shekels outmuscled VIRUS: Wicked Clown at 27:45 (Stunner) by 2.
SOS: Gluttony*, Oma Gerd, and Preston James outmuscled SOS: Gill T, LE Williams*, and Lifeguard Daron at 29:03 (Pig Out) by 1.

Battle Royal: Held in Franklin Township (Attendance: 7,285)

NME: Masked Misfit #3 was paid $1,000 when he got thrown into the audience by NME/VIP: Gavin Greenbacks.
NME: Masked Misfit #1 gained $1,100 when he was hurled into his manager at ringside by NME: Striker Jedi.
NME: Masked Misfit #2 and NME: Mike Eaves won $1,200 and $1,300, respectively, when NME: Charred Nightmare threw them out.
NME: Striker Jedi earned $1,400 when NME/VIP: Gavin Greenbacks hurled him over the turnbuckle.
SOS: Greed gained $1,500 after NME: Charred Nightmare catapulted him out.
NME/VIP: Gavin Greenbacks got $1,600 when NME: Charred Nightmare hurled him out of the ring.
NME: Charred Nightmare won the battle royal and its $30,000 purse.

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