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JOHNNY B SAYS
Would your wrestler like to improve his or her record without even stepping in the ring? Have him remove up to 20 losses by paying $25,000 per loss! This offer is only good next cycle, so act fast. Neatly print the following on a piece of paper: "Drop 20 losses from my wrestler, ID #123" (choose from 1 to 20 losses, and use your wrestler's ID number instead of 123). Separate the request from your trash talk by skipping some space, and include the paper with your league matches. You may deduct losses from as many of your wrestlers as you wish, but each must have the necessary funds. Remember that removing the maximum of 20 losses will cost your wrestler $500,000 in imaginary money.
We're ramping up the competition for our Specialty titles by placing more leagues in the running! The American Champion will now be chosen from among the AAL, AEL, APL, ASL, AWL, BRL, CCL, GNL, NFL, SHL, SWL, and XPL. Battling for the Asiatic honors will be the champions of the CSL, DXL, ECL, HLL, HRL, IIL, JDL, KHL, NAL, NBL, NDL, and UNL. The fate of the Hardcore title will rest in the hands of the CZL, EEL, GRL, HWL, LBL, LNL, LSL, MML, MUL, PKL, TDL, and XWL. That gives two leagues from each federation a shot at these prestigious belts. Make yours count!
Have you been playing the IWA long enough to remember "pioneer" leagues? We haven't opened any in a very long time, but we're about to rectify that. Any wrestler courageous enough to face the untamed frontier featured in these new (old) leagues can transfer for free next cycle! The Yellow Jacket League will use the Iron Federation hold values, the Wild Panthers League will call the Steel Federation home, the Gold Federation will host the Snake Venom League, the Saber Tooth League will make its mark in the Diamond Federation, the Bronze Federation will be the stomping grounds of the Rogue Elephant League, and the Growling Grizzly League will tear it up in the Jade Federation. Even if you don't remember these old (new) leagues, you should remember to transfer for free next cycle. As with any new league, all wrestlers are entered in the battle royal for free during the first round of play. We hope to see you there!
Our final announcement this time arrives courtesy of manager Kenneth Plasse from Alabama. He suggested that we allow players to add their hometowns to the list of cities where our cards take place, and we think his idea is a winner. So, feel free to send in the names of your town and other locations you would enjoy seeing in future bulletins! It's not required that the cities contain major arenas, since IWA wrestlers don't take up a lot of space.
HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES -- engraved plaque
Dwayne Dolly II of New Jersey
Cleatus McHicks (LWL) 1,714-541-68, $2,930,100 *7
A somber Cleatus McHicks approaches the podium in the LWL headquarters press room: "Good morning, y'all. Today is a very tough day for me. When I joined the LWL several years ago, I knew I had reached the top of the mountain. I have reigned as your Imperial Champion, your Imperial Light Heavyweight Champion, and how could I forget the amazing run Skyscraper Stan Towers and I had as your Imperial tag champs? But as they say, all good things must come to an end. Today, I am announcing my retirement from active competition. It has been a fantastic run, and I mean it when I say the LWL is the premier league, and the place to be in the IWA; the competition here is second to none. I will now retire back to the hills, and spend my days hunting, fishing, and reminiscing about the good ole days. Thank you."
WORLD, U.S., KING OF THE RING
World Champion
IMT: Hired Gun #3 (RCL)
"The Game" from Parts Unknown; 501; $300,000 + 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt & 50 free matches; manager's 7th career World title
Time & Date: 10:40 PM, May 11th, 2018
Location: Victoria Park, London, Ontario, Canada
IWA television comes back from commercials, where a celebration is taking place on the stage of the Bandshell after Hired Gun #3 defeated Fighter 7 for the IWA World Heavyweight title earlier in the evening at Thames Park in the finals of a "Six-Pack" ladder match. HG3, freshly showered and refreshed after the grueling contest, gives a rousing speech to the thousands of raucous fans in attendance who traversed the border of Canada from every corner of the great state of New York to celebrate with the new champion. Once he finishes his speech, he calls for his manager to join him on the stage, and from behind the temporary curtains that were set up across the stage steps "The Game" Tony Pesante. Dressed in a custom-fit Kiton two-piece navy blue suit in solid, textured wool blend and matching Brooks Brothers Genuine American Alligator Classic Bit loafers, the legendary manager looks impressive as he casually strolls across the stage to the roar of the crowd to accept his seventh IWA World title. Shaking the hand of his latest champion, he accepts the belt, then holds it high in the air. The crowd, overcome with utter excitement, shakes the entire stage and bandshell with its thunderous ovation. At that point, Carrie Underwood surprisingly emerges from behind the curtain, along with Ludacris, and they warmly greet the champion manager and his protege before grabbing a pair of handheld mics to belt out Underwood's song, "The Champion." As the final verses are completed, the crowd erupts in cheers and whistles as Carrie and "The Game" hug and kiss each other's cheek before he hands her the IWA World title. She raises it above her head, and the crowd goes crazy. IWAR interviewer extraordinaire Sue Plexx, on loan from the BRL, then joins the trio on stage for a quick Q&A session, just as the crowd begins to settle back down.
Sue Plexx: "Tony, first and foremost, congrats on managing your way to a seventh World title! Do you have anything to say to all your fans who travelled a great distance to see this incredible achievement in your Hall of Fame career?"
"The Game": "Of course I do. Despite all the haters out there who foolishly continue to doubt me, was there any question that we'd be here again just a few short months after our last celebration? Of course not. So, I say let them keep downplaying what I'm accomplishing, because it just serves as motivation to continue doing what I do best, and that's win. I'll continue to re-write the record books by winning more 'Big 3's' than anyone else in history. I'll continue winning more of these (he holds up the IWA World title)... because that's all I'll ever need to make those haters look like idiots, and I'll continue to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm the greatest 'Big 3' winner this game has ever seen. Now, if you'll excuse me, we have to depart this toilet of a city and head a long way back to the beauty of the Big Apple."
As Sue, "The Game," HG3, Carrie, and Ludacris begin to make their way off the stage while waving to the fans, they are interrupted by another surprise musical performer: fellow Queens, NY, native LL Cool J! He gives Luda, HG3, and "The Game" a handshake-n-hug, and Carrie a kiss on the cheek, before they move off to the side of the stage and let him perform. LL walks to and fro across the stage to get the crowd excited before dropping his hit song, "Rocking with the G.O.A.T." As the crowd raps along with LL, Carrie leans over to "The Game" and whispers in his ear.
Carrie: "Thanks for having me here, Tony! I've had a blast, and can't wait to see the next celebration, when you win #8."
After hearing that, "The Game" looks at Carrie and winks, before turning his attention back to LL's performance. He then smirks as the camera fades to black.
U.S. Champion
ARMY/IMT: Chainsaw Acevedo (AAL)
Donald Henry of Illinois; 501; $60,000 + a plaque or 25 free matches
King of the Ring
KDSN: Drama Queen Kimberly Kardashian (AOL)
Matt Yunick of New York; manager held title 4 cycles in a row; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; 274 KotR total; edged ARMY/IMT: "Patriarch of Violence" Kelvin Black (XWL; 500); hold positions were 1, 2, 7, 8, 10, 12, 13, 14; battle royal hold positions were 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 11, 15
SPECIALTY TITLES -- $25,000 + 10 free matches
American Champion
VIRUS/LPPF: The GOAT Al Saputra (AAL)
Ali Saputra of Georgia; 501; edged EDGE: Fakeblock Creator George Maharis (AEL)
Asiatic Champion
EDGE: Konner Kwaid (NAL)
Andrew Konik of Michigan; 500; edged EDGE: Gorku the Giant Armadillo (NBL)
Hardcore Champion
EDGE/ROT: Fighter 7 (MML)
Rich Reilly of New Jersey; 501
Metropolitan Champion
Fighter 7
20 free matches; edged VIRUS: "Boss of the South" Mr. Cornbread (LWL)
FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS -- $40,000 + 25 free matches
Iron Federation Champion
IMT/ARMY: Babyface Baptist (IML)
Robbie "Blood" Pawelek of Texas; edged VIRUS: Deaconess Mary Lou (GNL), IMT/LPPF: Mike Eaves (EEL), MWC: Wayne "The Train" Bloom (QPL), EDGE: Mike "HOF" Cook (MEL)
Steel Federation Champion
KDSN: "Tan" Kourtney Kardashian (LSL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 500; edged EDGE: Gorku the Giant Armadillo (NBL)
Gold Federation Champion
EDGE/ROT: Fighter 7 (MML)
Rich Reilly of New Jersey; 501
Diamond Federation Champion
IMT: Hired Gun #3 (RCL)
"The Game" from Parts Unknown; manager retained title; 501
Bronze Federation Champion
EDGE: Fakeblock Creator George Maharis (AEL)
Michael Cook of Kentucky; 501
Jade Federation Champion
VIRUS/LPPF: The GOAT Al Saputra (AAL)
Ali Saputra of Georgia; 501; edged VIRUS: Hemorrhoid (WEL), VIRUS: "Boss of the South" Mr. Cornbread (LWL), IMT: Masked Assassin #1 (TGL), IMT/LPPF: Darren Diamond (SHL)
NATIONAL, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS -- $20,000
National Champion
KDSN: Kim's Tan Birkin Bag (IIL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; Dixie region; edged EDGE: P.T. Madison (PKL)
Atlantic Champion
IMT/LPPF: Reginald Taylor (PKL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi; 501
Central Champion
VIRUS: "Mr. Theatric" Sergio Busquets (NSL)
Randall Angel from the Republic of Texas; 501
Eastern Champion
KDSN: Drama Queen Kimberly Kardashian (AOL)
Matt Yunick; 501; edged ArGr: "Love Me Harder" (XWL)
Mountain Champion
IMT/LPPF: Burly Bob Villa (APL)
Michael Eaves; 500
Northern Champion
EDGE/ROT: Masked Invader 1 (MML)
Rich Reilly of New Jersey; 500
Pacific Champion
VIRUS/LPPF: Bitcoin King Al Saputra (AAL)
Ali Saputra of Georgia; 500
Prairie Champion
VIRUS/IG: Goldilocks and the Three Saputras (KHL)
Ali Saputra; 499; edged ARMY/IMT: "Gangland Hero" Willie Henderson (AAL)
Southern Champion
GTA/PD: NGK (MML)
Erik G. Bugg of Virginia; 500
Western Champion
IMT: The Magnificent Magnum Colton (AEL)
Solomon Shaw of Maine; 501
LADIES' TITLES
Ladies' World Champion
VIRUS/VD: Trojan Horse (FFL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; manager retained title; 501; $40,000 + a plaque or 15 free matches
Ladies' U.S. Champion
VIRUS/VD: Encrypted (FFL)
Frank Jay Belcher III; retained title; 500; $20,000 + 10 free matches
Queen of the Ring
EDGE: Kendra O'Wink (FFL)
Andrew Konik of Michigan; 499; 272 QotR total
Ladies' National Champion
EDGE/H25: Big Helen 6 (RWL)
Michael Cook of Kentucky; 501
Ladies' Tag-team Champions
KDSN: Dash Employees Durrani Popal & Lily Adel (FFL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 516
Ladies' U.S. Tag-team Champions
VIRUS/VD: Polymorphic & Sasser (FFL)
Frank Jay Belcher III; manager held titles 9 cycles in a row; 516
World Six-woman Champions
KDSN: World's Greatest Sister Kourtney K., LATIN: Grammy Hopeful Selena Gomez, Selena's Childhood Pal Demi Lovato (VVL)
Matt Yunick; 521; edged VIRUS: Jaguar Jenny, Ashley Anderson, Betty Bazooka (LLL)
U.S. Six-woman Champions
VIRUS/VD: Zombie #7, VIRUS/LPPF: Becky Beauty, VIRUS: Brain Buster Brawler (VVL)
Frank Jay Belcher III, Randall Angel from the Republic of Texas, Michael Drake of New Jersey; Belcher held titles 4 cycles in a row; 521
TAG-TEAM TITLES
World Tag-team Champions
EDGE: "Fighting Spirits" Randy Rum & Eye Patch Paulie (OSL)
Michael Cook of Kentucky & Eugene Quintana of California; Cook held titles 6 cycles in a row (new World Tag-team record; Quintana held previous record); share of $50,000 + 15 free matches
EDGE/H25: Da Vanilla Twista & Very Grappler! (MUL)
Sully "The Sledgehammer" Sullivan of Canada
LATIN: Argentinian Dictator Jorge Videla & 10% Argentinian Matt Lopes (CSL)
Matt Yunick of New York
IMT: Fabulous One Gerald Robinson & IMT/ARMY: Raging Reynaldo Lopez (MEL)
Gerald Robinson of Tennessee & Robbie "Blood" Pawelek of Texas
Top Contenders
5. IMT: Jim Dalen & "The Brother of Jim Dalen" Mark (IIL)
MWC: "Mean" Mike Enos & Wayne "The Train" Bloom (QPL)
7. EDGE: Rembrandt & IMT/ARMY: Stinky (HWL)
VIRUS: Popcorn Lung & Palsy (HRL)
9. VIRUS: Animal Bite Infection & Mr. M.J. "The Bingo Slayer" (XWL)
10. IMT/ARMY: Squadre IV & V (RCL)
11. VIRUS: Yur Papa & Mr. Felcyn (KKL)
12. EDGE/CHOSEN: Magnificent JD & Magnum JA (NAL)
13. TBASID: "Lethal" Derrick James & "Bruiser" Quinton Hall (GNL)
last of the teams with 516
U.S. Tag-team Champions
EDGE: "Hardknocks" Diamond SQ & EDGE/H25: .33 of a strat (WDL)
Michael Cook; manager held titles 6 cycles in a row; share of $20,000
LATIN: Matt's Best Tags #1 & #2 (NAL)
Matt Yunick
IMT: Gerald "The Rock" Robinson & IMT/ARMY: Jammin' Eloy Jimenez (MEL)
Gerald Robinson & Robbie Pawelek; 516; edged LATIN: Senoritas Demi D. & Stephanie T. (CSL), LPPF: Lil' BoneZ & Snaggletooth (MUL), LATIN: Matt's Venezuelan Girlfriends Jasmine & Veronica (MML), EDGE: Smooth Criminal #12 & IMT/ARMY: Milkbone McGee (HWL), ARMY/IMT: "Cold-Blooded" Shane Hatchett & "The Worm" Cadillac Gaskins (XWL), VIRUS: Aneurysm & Mr. Flapjack Calhoun (HRL)
SIX-MAN TITLES
World Six-man Champions
VIRUS: Bat Flu, Starfire, Four Hundred Man Goober (EEL)
Randall Angel from the Republic of Texas & Michael Drake of New Jersey (Goober); retained titles; Angel held titles 6 cycles in a row, Drake 3 in a row; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches
VIRUS: "Notorious" Nichols, "Smokin'" Souter, "Ruthless" Roberts (IIL)
Randall Angel
VIRUS: Sami Callihan, Cody Rhodes, Plague (HLL)
Michael Drake & Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan (Plague); Belcher held titles 8 cycles in a row
VIRUS: Gravy, Starvin' Marvin, Jessica Havok (HWL)
Frank Jay Belcher III & Michael Drake (Havok)
VIRUS: Rowdy Roddy Rotten, Brutal Brett, Supremacist Fredd Fabulous (PGL)
Hamilton Ortiz of New York; manager retained titles
VIRUS: Masked Maulers #4, #5, #6 (KKL)
Chris Miler of Michigan
IMT/ARMY: A-Aron, Greich, ARMY/IMT: "Death Trooper" Wardell Byers (QPL)
Jerry Anderson of Michigan, Jeff Chambers of Iowa, Donald Henry of Illinois; Chambers held titles 20 cycles in a row, Anderson 18 in a row, Henry retained titles
IMT/ARMY: Texas Migrant Blood, IMT: Gil, Dirty Dutch Mantel (IML)
Robbie "Blood" Pawelek of Texas, "The Game" from Parts Unknown, Gerald Robinson of Tennessee; Pawelek held titles 8 cycles in a row, "The Game" & Robinson retained titles
EDGE: Graeae, Gene's Tag Factory Worker #24, EDGE/ROT: The Seventh (OSL)
Eugene Quintana of California, Michael Cook of Kentucky, Rich Reilly of New Jersey; Cook held titles 8 cycles in a row, Reilly 4 in a row
EDGE/H25: Da Vanilla Twista, Very Grappler!, Such Wrestler! (MUL)
Sully "The Sledgehammer" Sullivan of Canada
Top Contenders
11. VIRUS: Buttersworth Henchmen I, II, III (JDL)
12. VIRUS: Satanicos I, II, III (SWL)
previous champions; last of the teams with 521
U.S. Six-man Champions
IMT/ARMY: Alexei Swervikov, Masked Wrestler #2, ARMY/IMT: "Hood Princess" Diamond Callicut (QPL)
Jeff Chambers, Jerry Anderson, Donald Henry; Chambers held titles 8 cycles in a row, Anderson 4 in a row, Henry retained titles; share of $20,000
IMT: Wayne "The Train" Robinson (TTL), Todd Wolfhouse, IMT/ARMY: Babyface Warlord (IML)
Gerald Robinson, "The Game," Robbie Pawelek; Pawelek held titles 8 cycles in a row, "The Game" & Robinson retained titles
EDGE: Fachen, Gene's Tag Factory Worker #25, EDGE/ROT: The Eighth (OSL)
Eugene Quintana, Michael Cook, Rich Reilly; Cook held titles 8 cycles in a row, Reilly 4 in a row; 521; edged EDGE: Smooth Criminal #01, IMT/ARMY: Gif Chambers, Man of a Thousand Gifs (HWL), VIRUS: Masked Marauders #4, #5, #6 (PKL), VIRUS: Masked Goons I, II, III (SWL), VIRUS: Masked Maulers #7, #8, #9 (KKL)
TOP 10 LEAGUES
1. UWL (1,189 matches) 491.844
2. BRL (1,075 matches) 493.629
won the two matches for $1 cycle for having the highest average strategy total (counting only active wrestlers)
3. NWL (890 matches) 471.316
4. LWL (749 matches) 493.591
5. HRL (736 matches) 491.458
6. MML (569 matches) 492.856
7. HWL (538 matches) 491.511
8. VUL (525 matches) 491.712
9. LNL (475 matches) 490.643
10. DXL (470 matches) 493.075
TOP 20 STARS -- active wrestlers only
1. IMT/VS: Wonderful Wally Brown (GRL) 164
2. IMT/???: Sinister Steve Stryker (BRL) 146
3. IMT/DoD: Sir Gunther Kinderwacht (BRL) 136
4. IMT/???: Nightmare Sam Hell (BRL) 115
5. LPPF: Medieval Tymes (PKL)
LPPF: Misfit Messiah (BRL) 112
7. IMT/???: Lord of Illusions (BRL) 109
8. IMT/VS: Mark the Master Duchaine (GRL) 103
9. IMT/VS: Inferno (GRL) 99
10. IMT/MEDS: Buda von Blitzen (NAL) 96
11. IMT/BLOOD: The Executioner (XPL)
Executioner (LBL) 94
13. VIRUS: Mike Drake (HWL) 93
14. IMT/VS: Arson (GRL)
IMT/???: Bruiser Brett Brown (BRL) 92
16. IMT/MEDS: Diabolical Jerry Savage (NAL)
VIRUS: Outlaw Tony Taylor (EHL) 91
18. IMT/VS: Deadly David Death (GRL)
IMT/BLOOD: The Mighty Deadhead (XPL) 90
20. IMT/SUPER*: Killer Kenny Stryker (PKL) 88
LIST OF LEAGUES
Iron Federation
Center Stage, Extreme Existence, Generation Next, Hardcore Wrestling, Heroes and Legends, Iron Man, Main Event, Quantum Pro, Unknown Wrestler, Vixens United, Xtreme Poison
Steel Federation
American Wrestling, Classic Championship Wrestling, Intense Impact, King of Kings, Louisiana Swamp, Man Up, New Blood, Old School, Vicious Valkyries, World Domination
Gold Federation
All Star, Battle Royal, Blood Bath, Continental Wrestling, Global Wrestling, Independent Wrestling, Knight's Honor, Masked Mayhem, Mystic Diva, New Wave, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death, Triple Threat
Diamond Federation
Action Packed, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Lethal Brawling, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Pro Wrestling Guerrilla, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling
Bronze Federation
American Extreme, American Outlaw, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hardcore Superstars, High Rollers, Iron Glove, Living Nightmare, Revolution Wrestling, Strong Style Wrestling, United Nations
Jade Federation
Atomic Age, Combat Zone, Deluxe Wrestling, Jade Dragon, Lone Wolf, Lovely Ladies, Psychotic Killer, Super Hero, True Grit, Wrestlers Elite
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