JOHNNY B SAYS

This cycle marks the ninth anniversary of our current tie-breaking system for in-league titles, so I'd like to take the opportunity to remind everyone how it works, and explain it in more detail than was done previously.

Imagine two tag-teams defeat the reigning league tag champions by the same point spread, which is also the highest point spread of any match won against those champions. Our computer must determine which of the two teams should receive the titles, and it begins by comparing the full point flow of each team strategy.

It adds up the values of each team's 15 holds, and if both have the same total (such as a perfect 516 points), the computer then finds the total of the values of each team's first 14 holds. If those sums are equal, it uses their first 13 holds, then first 12, etc. If even the value of each team's first hold is the same, it moves on to individual point flow.

The values of all 15 holds from the first wrestler on one team ("first wrestler" meaning the first one listed in the results) are totaled and compared to that of the first wrestler on the other team. If those totals match, the values of their first 14 holds are added up, then first 13, etc., down to the values of their very first holds.

The next step, if there is still a tie, is to examine the point flow of the second wrestler on each team -- again, comparing the point totals of all 15 holds, then their first 14 holds, etc.

If using the present strategies of all wrestlers involved fails to break the deadlock, our computer looks to the past, finding the combined 15-hold total of each team member's previous strategy. That total could be as high as 1,002 if both tag partners had a perfect 501-pointer the previous cycle.

Just as the system progresses from team point flow to individual point flow, here it moves from previous team totals to individual strategy totals, if necessary. The first wrestlers on each team have their totals from the previous cycle compared, then the previous strategy totals of the second wrestlers are used.

As a last resort, our computer chooses one of the teams at random.

Ties for singles and six-man titles work the same way, although the steps involving team point flow and team totals do not apply to singles titles.

HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES -- engraved plaque

Keith D. Voss of Austria

VIRUS: Keith "The Devil" Voss (LWL) 2,148-295-63, $3,958,366 *15

Michael Long of Seattle

Skyscraper Stan Towers (LWL) 1,042-1,897-53, $2,384,400 *11
Skyscraper Stan Towers has retired after more than six years in the Lone Wolf League. His first four years were spent learning the ropes as an enhancement talent before being paired with Penny Barber, serving as her bodyguard. Following an incident that left Miss Barber comatose, Towers was thrust into the spotlight. Once recovered, Miss Barber became his manager prior to also becoming LWL Commissioner. This made Towers a key figure in the league, a role which he fully embraced whole-heartedly.

At one point, he took on Keith "The Devil" Voss for the Imperial Heavyweight Championship. However, it was in the tag-team ranks that he really made his mark. First teaming with Shaone Avery, then later forming the most successful tag-team in LWL history with partner Cleatus McHicks, they would go on to hold the Imperial Tag-team titles for almost an entire year.

With Miss Barber having recently retired herself, it was no surprise to anyone that Skyscraper Stan Towers quickly followed suit. We wish them the best in any future endeavors.

WORLD, U.S., KING OF THE RING

World Champion

IMT: The Orphan Crippler (BBL)
Robbie "Blood" Pawelek of Texas; 500; $300,000 + 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt & 50 free matches

U.S. Champion

IMT/ARMY: Ulrich Blightbearer (OSL)
Jeff Chambers of Iowa; 500; $60,000 + a plaque or 25 free matches

King of the Ring

VIRUS/LPPF: F.B. III (KKL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; a plaque or 25 free matches; 275 KotR total; hold positions were 1, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 14; battle royal hold positions were 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 13, 15

SPECIALTY TITLES -- $25,000 + 10 free matches

American Champion

RAGE: Ace Anderson (SWL)
Hamilton Ortiz of New York; 499

Asiatic Champion

IMT/BLOOD: The Megabrain Mark Duchaine (NAL)
"Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont

Hardcore Champion

IMT/LPPF: Lance (GRL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi; edged VIRUS: Isaiah "The Ninja" Tuttle (CZL)

Metropolitan Champion

IMT/ARMY: Wizard Superman (MML)
Jerry Anderson of Michigan; manager retained title; 15 free matches; edged EDGE: "Who the Heck is?" Mike Cook (LWL)

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS -- $40,000 + 25 free matches

Iron Federation Champion

VIRUS: Four Hundred Player Disaster (CSL)
Michael Drake of New Jersey; manager retained title; edged VIRUS: Titan (HWL), VIRUS: Luscious Gregory Michaels (XPL), VIRUS/LPPF: Walker #4 (IML), VIRUS: Nick Gage (HLL)

Steel Federation Champion

IMT/ARMY: He Who Flung Poo (OSL)
Jeff Chambers of Iowa

Gold Federation Champion

IMT: The Orphan Crippler (BBL)
Robbie "Blood" Pawelek of Texas; 500

Diamond Federation Champion

KDSN: Kim Before Plastic Surgery (RCL)
Matt Yunick of New York

Bronze Federation Champion

EDGE/H25: World Champ Mike Cook (HSL)
Michael Cook of Kentucky; 499; edged IMT/ARMY: Juggernaut Jimmy Blaze (AOL), RAGE: Ace Anderson (SWL)

Jade Federation Champion

VIRUS: Isaiah "The Ninja" Tuttle (CZL)
Derek Tuttle of Florida

NATIONAL, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS -- $20,000

National Champion

IMT: Snefru (IGL)
"The Game" from Parts Unknown; 500; a plaque or 25 free matches; Prairie region

Atlantic Champion

NOBLE HOUSE: "Da Black Superstar" Bobby Bedlam (BRL)
Kendall Marlin of South Carolina; edged IMT: Robbie Blood (BBL), NOBLE HOUSE: "The Magnificent" Blak Deniro (IWL)

Central Champion

EDGE: Mr. Xtreme (IGL)
Joshua Haight of Wisconsin; edged IMT/ARMY: Mystery Wrestler #2 (MML)

Dixie Champion

IMT: Hester (BRL)
Robbie "Blood" Pawelek of Texas; edged VIRUS/LPPF: The Smog (GRL), KDSN: Kim's Former Boyfriend Nick Lachey (SWL), LATIN: Venezuelan Revolutionary Hugo Chavez (MML)

Eastern Champion

IMT: Bronze Warrior #3 (IGL)
"The Game"; 500; edged KDSN: Kim's Plastic Surgeon #2 (EHL), RAGE: Bounty Hunter I (SWL)

Mountain Champion

LATIN: Miss Venezuela (NDL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 499; edged EDGE/CHOSEN: Magnum JA (NAL)

Northern Champion

EDGE: Mutiny (IGL)
Joshua Haight; edged IMT/ARMY: Yargh! the Swervey Pirate (MML), VIRUS/LPPF: Gator (GRL), IMT: Moondog Bark (TGL), YETI/TUFF: Wonder Woman (SHL), "The Deviant" Erica Rockwell (BRL), VIRUS/CTI: Nasty Nick Spalla (EHL)

Pacific Champion

EDGE: Velocitagtor (TGL)
Michael Cook of Kentucky; 500

Southern Champion

RAGE: Beautiful Adonis (SWL)
Hamilton Ortiz of New York; 499; edged BURN: Kaos Knight (TGL)

Western Champion

IMT/LPPF: Maniac Misfit #2 (NAL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi; 499

LADIES' TITLES

Ladies' World Champion

KDSN: Businesswoman Kimberly Kardashian (VVL)
Matt Yunick of New York; $40,000 + a plaque or 15 free matches

Ladies' U.S. Champion

KDSN: Cheerleader Kourtney Kardashian (VVL)
Matt Yunick; retained title; manager held title 3 cycles in a row; $20,000 + 10 free matches

Queen of the Ring

KDSN: Jealous Sister Khloe Kardashian (VVL)
Matt Yunick; manager retained title; 266 QotR total

Ladies' National Champion

EDGE/H25: Real Stella (RWL)
Michael Cook of Kentucky; 499; edged VOT*/KDSN: Fashion Guru Kimberly Kardashian (LLL)

Ladies' Tag-team Champions

VIRUS/LPPF: Code Red & Baddest Russian Mob Chick #2 (FFL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan & Randall Angel of Louisiana; Belcher held titles 4 cycles in a row, Angel retained titles; 516; edged IMT/ARMY: Brinde Fair-Voice & Swaphire the Windcaller (VVL)

Ladies' U.S. Tag-team Champions

VIRUS/LPPF: Mrs. Feng & Baddest American Biker Chick #10 (FFL)
Frank Jay Belcher III & Randall Angel; Belcher held titles 4 cycles in a row; 516

World Six-woman Champions

VIRUS/LPPF: Zombie #5, Electric Liz, Angela Ace (VVL)
Frank Jay Belcher III (Zombie) & Randall Angel; Belcher held titles 3 cycles in a row

LATIN: Nicaraguan Nurses #1, #2, #3 (MDL)
Matt Yunick; 521

U.S. Six-woman Champions

VIRUS/LPPF: Zombie #8, Miss Chloie J., VIRUS: Carnage Clan Catalyst (VVL)
Frank Jay Belcher III, Randall Angel, Michael Drake of New Jersey; 521

TAG-TEAM TITLES

World Tag-team Champions

VIRUS: Brain Buster MD (FLL) & VIRUS/LPPF: Queen Walker (HWL)
Michael Drake of New Jersey & Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; ranked #9 last time; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

VIRUS: Pete Dunne & Trent Sven (EEL)
VIRUS: Tyler Black & Brody Lee (MEL)
VIRUS: Dartworth Floodington & Dartworth McFloods (CSL)
VIRUS: WWN World Champion Matt Riddle & Black Label Pro Champion Filthy Tom L. (QPL)
Michael Drake

VIRUS: "The Joker" M.J. & Mr. S. Knuttz (DXL)
Mitchell Johnson of Michigan

VIRUS: "Passmaster" Xavi Hernandez & "Wildman" Wayne Rooney (NSL)
Randall Angel of Louisiana

IMT: Russian & Soviet Mercenaries (OSL)
Anthony Fazio from Parts Unknown; manager retained titles

IMT/LPPF: Maniac Misfit #1 & VIRUS/LPPF: Misfit Puppet #10 (NAL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi & Keith A. Maple of Ohio

EDGE: TML Kapanen & Nylander (HLL)
Jeff Annable of Canada

EDGE/ROT: Rye's Teams 1 & 2 (MUL)
Rich Reilly of New Jersey

EDGE: Darth Solo & Luke Vader (AEL)
Michael Cook of Kentucky

KDSN: Kim's Black & Pink Birkin Bags (IIL)
Matt Yunick of New York

Top Contenders

14. VIRUS/LPPF: "Drunk" Terry Flunk & Cactus Sac (GRL)

15. BLOOD MONEY: Hot $tuff Adam Ca$h & Fatty the Butcher (UNL)
ARMY/IMT: Col. Dirk & IMT: Sgt. Dagger Vanderback (BRL)
IMT/ARMY: "The Email Bestie" Jeb Elrod & IMT: Masked Robinson #8 (TGL)
IMT/ARMY: Ned Low & Jack Rackham (AWL)

19. EDGE/H25: Pacific Champ Mike Cook & TESD Q (HSL)
last of the teams with 516

U.S. Tag-team Champions

EDGE: Taggy McTagsalot & IMT: Master of Whisperers (EEL)
Michael Cook & Anthony Fazio; Fazio retained titles; share of $20,000

EDGE: Hail Haight & He Haight Me (CSL)
Joshua Haight of Wisconsin

VIRUS: B-Boy & The Great Muta (MEL)
VIRUS: "The Brute" Brock Rampage & Bloodshed Brawler MD (HWL)
Michael Drake

Quebec Hitman MRP & The Russian Reaper (UNL)
Maurice Plante of Canada

HIGHER FLYERS: Graig Gagne & "Jumpin'" Jim Brazil (QPL)
Steven M. Shotliff of Minnesota; 516; edged MWC: Best of the Best II & III (MUL), IMT/ARMY: Jegz & IMT: Masked Robinson #9 (TGL), VIRUS/LPPF: Jack of All Trades & Master of None (GRL), KDSN: Kim's Chum Kanye & Baby North West (IIL)

SIX-MAN TITLES

World Six-man Champions

IMT/ARMY: Rude, Masked Wrestler #4, EDGE: Factory Owner Gene Winsalot (QPL)
Jeff Chambers of Iowa, Jerry Anderson of Michigan, Michael Cook of Kentucky; Chambers held titles 15 cycles in a row, Anderson 13 in a row, Cook 3 in a row; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches

IMT/ARMY: Wal-Mart Photographer, Jer Bear #5, IMT: Masked Robinson #13 (TGL)
Jeff Chambers, Jerry Anderson, Gerald Robinson of Tennessee

ARMY/IMT: "Human Snuff Film" Malcolm Gore, IMT: Jammin' Eloy Jimenez, Lethal Lucas Giolito (MEL)
Donald Henry of Illinois, Robbie "Blood" Pawelek of Texas, Anthony Fazio from Parts Unknown; Pawelek held titles 3 cycles in a row, Fazio & Henry retained titles

IMT: Articles of Confederation, Inalienable Rights, Due Process (NDL)
Kevin Elrod of Ohio

KDSN: 10% Kris Jenner, World's Greatest Husband Kanye, Child Nori W. (LSL)
Matt Yunick of New York; manager held titles 5 cycles in a row

VIRUS/LPPF: Walker #6, VIRUS/TSD: Tears, Mystery IML Masked Man #6 (IML)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan (Walker) & Michael Giuliano of Connecticut; Belcher held titles 3 cycles in a row

VIRUS: Abram Petrov, Ares Royal, Hognose Snakeflu (EEL)
VIRUS: Dr., Emperor, King Doom (XPL)
Randall Angel of Louisiana

VIRUS: The Governor, The President, Gaboon Kid (BBL)
Randall Angel & Rick Angel of Kansas (Kid)

VIRUS: Mitchell "The Butcher" Johnson, The #1 Fan of ?, M.J. "The Fabulous One" (DXL)
Mitchell Johnson of Michigan

"The Deviant" Erica Rockwell, "The Starlet" Liberty Monroe, "The Hellion" Roxanne O'Connor (BRL)
Seth Brubaker of Ohio

MWC: "Sultan of Ice" Herb Brooks, Buffwell, "Flamboyant" Johnny Stewart (KHL)
Steven M. Shotliff of Minnesota

EDGE: TML Liljegren, Gardiner, Rielly (HLL)
Jeff Annable of Canada

EDGE/H25: "Mr. Dependsable" Ike Eeves, "Your Inferior" Kenny Syrup, Tremazecellent Rocky Starfishblazer (MUL)
Sully "The Sledgehammer" Sullivan of Canada

EDGE: John Stewart Little, Tony Towerfan, Harrison Ford Fairlane (CSL)
Joshua Haight of Wisconsin

RAGE: Buttersworth Henchmen I, II, III (JDL)
Hamilton Ortiz of New York

RAGE: Karnage, Mike Phoenix, Mr. Meaner (EHL)
Chris Miler of Michigan

Top Contenders

18. VIRUS: Nick Gage, VIRUS/LPPF: General Whoshenburger, Creeper (HWL)

19. RAGE: NME Soldiers #1, #2, #3 (PKL)
last of the teams with 521

U.S. Six-man Champions

KDSN: Fashionista Kim Kardashian, Kim's Friends Demi Lovato, Rihanna (AOL)
Matt Yunick; manager held titles 5 cycles in a row; share of $20,000

IMT/ARMY: Ja Quellan, Ufwapo, EDGE: Gene's Tag Factory Worker #2 (QPL)
Jerry Anderson, Jeff Chambers, Michael Cook; managers held titles 3 cycles in a row

ARMY/IMT: Sugar Skull Charlie, IMT: Raging Reynaldo Lopez, "The Condor" Chris Sale (MEL)
Donald Henry, Robbie Pawelek, Anthony Fazio; Pawelek held titles 3 cycles in a row, Fazio & Henry retained titles

EDGE/ROT: The Prodigy, The Blue Chipper, Not an Island (HLL)
Rich Reilly of New Jersey

EDGE: Hollywood Madman Haighty Fleiss, Ramen Noodle Nathan, Randy Router (CSL)
Joshua Haight

VIRUS: Hazard, Riot, Mamba Kid (BBL)
Randall & Rick (Kid) Angel

VIRUS/TSD: Mystery Masked Enforcer, VIRUS/LPPF: Bio-Hazard, VIRUS: Madd Maddie (IML)
Michael Giuliano, Frank Jay Belcher III, Mitchell Johnson; 521; edged IMT: Masked Robinson #14, IMT/ARMY: That Other Tag Guy, Jer Bear #8 (TGL)

TOP 10 LEAGUES

1. BRL (1,230 matches) 488.860

2. LWL (1,177 matches) 480.120

3. UWL (1,138 matches) 489.439

4. NWL (719 matches) 449.861

5. MML (637 matches) 488.629

6. IWL (548 matches) 489.711
won the two matches for $1 cycle for having the highest average strategy total (counting only active wrestlers)

7. CWL (519 matches) 489.481

8. ASL (434 matches) 488.235

9. SWL (427 matches) 488.994

10. DXL (424 matches) 488.172

TOP 20 VICTORIES -- active wrestlers only

1. Arsenal (FJL) 16,981-2,180-587

2. VIRUS: Mike Drake (HWL) 11,155-1,160-298

3. IMT/???: Sir Gunther Kinderwacht (BRL) 8,665-779-216

4. VIRUS/LPPF: Medieval Tymes (GRL) 6,612-899-164

5. DFI: American Freedom Fighter E.J. (SHL) 6,475-1,024-278

6. IMT/BLOOD: Wonderful Wally Brown (GRL) 6,292-595-208

7. Dan the Man (HSL) 6,147-1,065-192

8. "Mr. Everything" Kirk Lockran (AWL) 6,121-1,465-298

9. NGAA: Rydia Stormer (MDL) 5,568-1,634-310

10. EDGE: Demon (BBL) 5,445-2,431-110

11. SHS: "Money-Driven" Mike Sebastian (BRL) 5,402-1,154-269

12. MWC: Pete the Geek (IGL) 5,073-992-159

13. IMT/???: Sinister Steve Stryker (BRL) 4,728-549-179

14. NGAA: Hawkeye Science (HLL) 4,571-1,148-187

15. VIRUS: Mike Drake (MEL) 4,369-828-121

16. RIZE: Vitamin Z (AAL) 4,334-483-101

17. BWE: Cujo (GRL) 4,264-1,081-256

18. VIRUS/LPPF: Misfit Messiah (BRL) 4,201-452-125

19. MC: White Tiger Mask (WEL) 4,147-1,918-54

20. MC: Merlin (AOL) 4,110-1,359-112

LIST OF LEAGUES

Iron Federation

Center Stage, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Heroes and Legends, Iron Man, Main Event, Quick Pin, Unknown Wrestler, Xtreme Poison

Steel Federation

American Wrestling, Classic Championship Wrestling, Intense Impact, King of Kings, Louisiana Swamp, Man Up, New Blood, Old School, Vicious Valkyries, World Domination

Gold Federation

All Star, Battle Royal, Blood Bath, Continental Wrestling, Global Wrestling, Independent Wrestling, Knight's Honor, Masked Mayhem, Mystic Diva, National Wrestling, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death, Triple Threat

Diamond Federation

Action Packed, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Lethal Brawling, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling

Bronze Federation

American Extreme, American Outlaw, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hardcore Superstars, Iron Glove, Living Nightmare, Revolution Wrestling, Strong Style Wrestling, United Nations

Jade Federation

Atomic Age, Combat Zone, Deluxe Wrestling, Jade Dragon, Lone Wolf, Lovely Ladies, Psychotic Killer, Super Hero, True Grit, Wrestlers Elite