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2017 STATE WRESTLING CHAMPIONS
Each of the wrestlers shown below received a well-deserved $100,000 in imaginary earnings! We offer our congratulations to their managers, and our thanks to everyone who participated this year.
Alabama
Dan the Man (HSL)
Dan Hicks of Texas
Alaska
Dan the Man
Arizona
IMT: Elrod the Wall Builder (NDL)
Kevin Elrod of Ohio
Arkansas
Kaptain Kryptonite (NBL)
Jimmy Dabbs of North Carolina
California
HOP: The Patriot (ASL)
Randy Skaggs of Michigan
Colorado
MC: Merlin (AOL)
Blake Morgan
Connecticut
EDGE/CHOSEN: Peter Dragon (PKL)
Martin Markos of Michigan
Delaware
Kaptain Kryptonite
Florida
TBZ: Silver Falcon (OSL)
Brick D. Hinkley of Canada
Georgia
DOD: Tb Vixen Red (TTL)
Robert J. Ratliff of Virginia
Hawaii
Kaptain Kryptonite
Idaho
DOD: Cheerleader Sassy Red (BRL)
Robert J. Ratliff
Illinois
YETI: Superman (SHL)
Dan Harrell of Tennessee
Indiana
The Patriot
Iowa
Kaptain Kryptonite
Kansas
VIRUS/MM: Skyblade the Tiger King (ECL)
Mitchell Morrissey of Missouri
Kentucky
VIRUS: Keith "The Devil" Voss (LWL)
Keith D. Voss of Austria
Louisiana
Dan the Man
Maine
Kaptain Kryptonite
Maryland
"Genetic Freak" Robbie Rage (LWL)
"Phenomenal" Patrick Styles of Arizona
Massachusetts
Robbie Rage
Michigan
Keith Voss
Minnesota
KDSN: Krazy Kanye West (AEL)
Matt Yunick of New York
Mississippi
Robbie Rage
Missouri
Kaptain Kryptonite
Montana
VIRUS: Dread (BBL)
Randall Angel of Louisiana
Nebraska
ARMY/IMT: "Public Enemy" Roderick Hughes (LWL)
Donald Henry of Illinois
Nevada
Tb Vixen Red
New Hampshire
VIRUS: "Mr. Wonderful" R.A. Rude (LWL)
Randall Angel
New Jersey
HOP: BA Fox (ASL)
Robert J. Ratliff
New Mexico
Roderick Hughes
New York
Keith Voss
North Carolina
Alexis Rose (RWL)
Randall Angel
North Dakota
DOD: Chief Bold Gray Fox (BRL)
Robert J. Ratliff
Ohio
Mordecai (LWL)
Delvon Mills of Florida
Oklahoma
Roderick Hughes
Oregon
The Patriot
Pennsylvania
VIRUS: The Beast of LeGevaudan (ECL)
Mitchell Morrissey
Rhode Island
Toxic (CWL)
David Lewis of New York
South Carolina
VIRUS: Riot (BBL)
Randall Angel
South Dakota
Cheerleader Sassy Red
Tennessee
DOD: Jane "The Vixen" Red (BRL)
Robert J. Ratliff
Texas
Beloved (RWL)
Nelson Gomez of New York
Utah
Foxwoman Santana (LNL)
Robert J. Ratliff
Vermont
VIRUS: Dr. Doom (XPL)
Randall Angel
Virginia
Mordecai
Washington
Gargantuan (EEL)
Blake Morgan and Gary Cassibry, Sr., both of Mississippi
West Virginia
EDGE/CHOSEN: Nehemiah Scutter (PKL)
Martin Markos
Wisconsin
Nehemiah Scutter
Wyoming
Vladimir Putin (FJL)
Mark Hlavin of Ohio
HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES -- engraved plaque
Keith A. Maple of Ohio
IMT/LPPF: Creature of Habit (GRL) 1,035-245-33, $1,914,800 *42
IMT/LPPF: Master of the Misfit Puppets (SHL) 2,355-536-103, $11,235,300 *95
IMT/LPPF: Money Hungry Bandit James A. Brisco (XWL) 1,029-322-59, $2,884,300 *53
WORLD, U.S., KING OF THE RING
World Champion
EDGE/H25: RDY2PRTY (KKL)
Sully "The Sledgehammer" Sullivan of Canada; 501; $300,000 + 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt & 50 free matches
"I Will Survive" blares over the speakers as strobes and disco balls shower the capacity crowd in groovy atmosphere. RDY2PRTY emerges from the curtain like a cannonball, barreling down the ramp on roller skates at top speed. His long, blond hair flows all around him, creating a curtain, flickering to reveal his dark, wide eyes. He seems to be just the right amount of jittery. He shucks and jives through the middle ropes and breaks out into a full-on Hustle.
...75 minutes later...
RDY2PRTY stops doing the Hustle and pulls a mic out of his leather, bedazzled onesie: "I AM THE WORLD CHAMP YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW BABY I AM FEELING IT TONIGHT JUST LIKE EVERY NIGHT BECAUSE EVERY NIGHT IS A PARTY WHEN YOU ARE RDY2PRTY I'LL KEEP THIS SHORT BECAUSE THERE ARE MOUNTAINS TO CLIMB AND SAYINGS TO RHYME AND RUM AND COKES THAT NEED LIME I JUST WANT TO CONGRATULATE MYSELF ON A FUNKY WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP AND ESPECIALLY MY MANAGER THE ALWAYS RADICAL AND EVER FAR OUT ADAM SULLIVAN I COULDN'T HAVE DONE THIS WITHOUT HIM AND MANAGING WRESTLERS TO TWO WORLD TITLES IS VERY HARD SO CONGRATS ADAM AND CATCH ALL THE REST OF YOU CHEESE EATERS ON THE FLIP SIDE!"
RDY2PRTY hurdles the top rope and sprint-skates like a bullet out of the arena.
U.S. Champion
VIRUS: Chlamydia (SWL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; 500; $60,000 + a plaque or 25 free matches; edged EDGE/H25: "Pretty Boy" Pat Borders (AEL)
King of the Ring
IMT/LPPF: Gold Ninja (TDL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi; a plaque or 25 free matches; 272 KotR total; hold positions were 1, 2, 5, 9, 10, 12, 14, 15; battle royal hold positions were 1, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 11, 13
SPECIALTY TITLES -- $25,000 + 10 free matches
American Champion
IMT: David Giancola (SWL)
David Trousdale of Michigan; 500
Asiatic Champion
IMT: Elrod Lives Matter (NDL)
Kevin Elrod of Ohio; 499; edged LATIN: Singer Gloria Estefan (CSL)
Hardcore Champion
IMT/ARMY: Weekend at Fazzy's (PKL)
Jerry Anderson of Michigan; 500; edged IMT/LPPF: Mr. Eaves (LSL)
Metropolitan Champion
Kennedy Cage (IWL)
Seth Brubaker of Ohio; 499; 15 free matches
FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS -- $40,000 + 25 free matches
Iron Federation Champion
LATIN: Singer Gloria Estefan (CSL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 499
Steel Federation Champion
EDGE/H25: RDY2PRTY (KKL)
Sully "The Sledgehammer" Sullivan of Canada; 501
Gold Federation Champion
IMT: Elrod Lives Matter (NDL)
Kevin Elrod of Ohio; 499; edged Kennedy Cage (IWL)
Diamond Federation Champion
UKA: Shane "The Stain" Schmucker (LBL)
David Silliman of New York; 499
Bronze Federation Champion
EDGE: Tomcat Glue Boards (AOL)
Eugene Quintana of California; 500; edged previous champion IMT: David Giancola (SWL)
Jade Federation Champion
IMT/ARMY: Weekend at Fazzy's (PKL)
Jerry Anderson of Michigan; 500
NATIONAL, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS -- $20,000
National Champion
KDSN: Pregnant Khloe Kardashian (AEL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; Mountain region
Atlantic Champion
IMT/ARMY: Borug Shagrol (MML)
Jeff Chambers of Iowa; 500; edged EDGE/H25: Bulldog Duvall (HSL), VIRUS/AI: Axle (NBL)
Central Champion
EDGE: Mike Excellence (SWL)
Joshua Haight of Wisconsin; 500
Dixie Champion
IMT: Rocko Muscles (OSL)
Glenn Mazura of Virginia; 499; edged EDGE/H25: The Good China (SWL), IMT/ARMY: Nefarious Nell Carter (PKL)
Eastern Champion
LATIN: Matt's Latin Girlfriend Maria (MUL)
Matt Yunick; 499; edged KDSN: Kim's Plastic Surgeon #1 (EHL), ARMY/IMT: "Rated MA Renegade" Tyreese Crenshaw (JDL)
Northern Champion
IMT/ARMY: Iron Man (OSL)
Jeff Chambers; 500
Pacific Champion
VIRUS/AI: Slash (NBL)
Kyle Queen of Texas; 500
Prairie Champion
EDGE: Steve Thunder (SWL)
Joshua Haight; 500
Southern Champion
VIRUS: Reigns (HWL)
Michael Drake of New Jersey; 499; edged IMT/ARMY: Faz Dot Com (PKL)
Western Champion
IMT/ARMY: Samuel D. Henry (PKL)
Jeff Chambers; 500
LADIES' TITLES
Ladies' World Champion
IMT: Alexandra (MDL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi; 500; $40,000 + a plaque or 15 free matches
Ladies' U.S. Champion
IMT/ARMY: Kiring the Harrier (LLL)
Jeff Chambers of Iowa; $20,000
Queen of the Ring
IMT: Alexis (MDL)
Michael Eaves; manager retained title; 272 QotR total
Ladies' National Champion
VIRUS: Nasty Patsy (LLL)
Frank Jay Belcher III of Michigan; 499
Ladies' Tag-team Champions
Krush Gals: Lioness Itsuko & Chigusa Ogyu (RWL)
John Davis of Tennessee; retained titles; 516
Ladies' U.S. Tag-team Champions
Aurora & Skye Rose (RWL)
Randall Angel of Louisiana
World Six-woman Champions
LATIN: Senoritas Jenaveve J., Karmen B., Serena T. (MDL)
Matt Yunick of New York; manager retained titles; 521
U.S. Six-woman Champions
VIRUS: Daddy's Girl, Hairy Carrie, Brain Buster Basher (MDL)
Frank Jay Belcher III & Michael Drake of New Jersey (Basher); Belcher held titles 4 cycles in a row
TAG-TEAM TITLES
World Tag-team Champions
EDGE: Chadwick Duckworth & IMT/ARMY: Snorch (QPL)
Eugene Quintana of California & Jeff Chambers of Iowa; Quintana held titles 3 cycles in a row, Chambers retained titles; $50,000 + 15 free matches
Top Contenders
2. LATIN: Mexican Beauty Alejandra Guilmant & Miss Mexico (KHL)
3. IMT: Hester & Fester (BRL)
4. IMT: "Rifftrax" Mike & Kevin (ASL)
previous champions; last of the teams with 516
5. Hostile Takeover & "Handle" Lin Bidness (IWL)
6. IMT: Danno & Aloha Steve (MEL)
7. VIRUS: Ebola & Ponderosa (TDL)
8. VIRUS: Sponge Bob & Squidward (SWL)
missed U.S. titles by point flow last time
9. EDGE/CHOSEN: Mr. White & Mr. Blue (AEL)
10. EDGE/CHOSEN: Mr. Obvious & Mr. Gift (LSL)
U.S. Tag-team Champions
EDGE: Warren Slappy & IMT/ARMY: Masked Wrestler #2 (QPL)
Eugene Quintana & Jerry Anderson of Michigan; Quintana retained titles; 516; $20,000; edged EDGE: Droids 19 & 20 (WDL)
SIX-MAN TITLES
World Six-man Champions
LATIN: Matt's Latin Girlfriends Marlene, Mayoli, Alexis (HWL)
Matt Yunick of New York; moved up from U.S. titles; manager retained titles; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches
EDGE: Smooth Criminal #04, IMT/ARMY: Towelliee, Greich (QPL)
Eugene Quintana of California, Jerry Anderson of Michigan, Jeff Chambers of Iowa; Chambers held titles 6 cycles in a row, Anderson 4 in a row, Quintana 3 in a row
Top Contenders
3. EDGE/CHOSEN: Mr. Orange, Mr. Pink, Mr. Brown (AEL)
ranked #10 last time, #6 before that
4. VIRUS: Leptospirosis, Schistosomiasis, Chikungunya (MML)
last of the teams with 521
5. VIRUS/TSD: Malaria, Anthrax, VIRUS: Japan's Lee Kubiki (XPL)
VIRUS: Protozoa, Strep Throat, Shingles (SWL)
IMT/BLOOD: Kuku Racha, IMT/LPPF: Lucas, Arrogance Rising (GRL)
IMT: Enjoy Your Ignorance, Mister Fight from America, A Chicken Named Floppy (CSL)
9. ARMY/IMT: "Ghetto Superstar" Shedrick Porter, "Rated MA Renegade" Tyreese Crenshaw, "Urban American Dream" Leon Walls (JDL)
10. EDGE: Loose Cannon, Hammer, Brutal Mitchell (BRL)
ranked #7 last time, missed U.S. titles by point flow before that
EDGE/H25: Honor, Prestige, Dominance (KHL)
ranked #7 last time
U.S. Six-man Champions
EDGE: Smooth Criminal #07, IMT/ARMY: Asmongold, Buzz Kutt (QPL)
Eugene Quintana, Jerry Anderson, Jeff Chambers; Chambers held titles 4 cycles in a row, Quintana 3 in a row, Anderson retained titles; share of $20,000
KDSN: World's Sexiest Women Kourtney, Khloe, Kimberly K. (NAL)
Matt Yunick; manager retained titles; 521
TOP 10 LEAGUES
1. BRL (1,525 matches) 490.972
2. LWL (1,119 matches) 490.636
3. IWL (746 matches) 492.629
4. NWL (593 matches) 467.846
5. CWL (568 matches) 492.274
6. XWL (387 matches) 490.910
7. NSL (365 matches) 494.818
won the two matches for $1 cycle for having the highest average strategy total (counting only active wrestlers)
8. ASL (357 matches) 491.649
AWL (357 matches) 485.932
10. HWL (345 matches) 491.922
TOP 20 VICTORIES -- active wrestlers only
1. Arsenal (APL) 15,860-2,042-548
2. VIRUS: Mike Drake (HWL) 10,823-1,140-292
3. Johnny "2 Kold" Koolakowski (IGL) 10,479-409-81
4. VIRUS: Cpl. Punishment (LBL) 9,225-543-139
5. Kaptain Kryptonite (NBL) 8,717-1,697-510
6. IMT/BLOOD: Sir Gunther Kinderwacht (BRL) 8,438-762-205
7. LPPF: Medieval Tymes (XPL) 6,606-872-163
8. Death Warrant (CWL) 6,470-558-119
9. SITH: Darth Carnage (NSL) 6,413-1,021-169
10. SITH: Darth Thanatos (NSL) 6,383-1,014-182
11. SITH: Darth Avatar (NSL) 6,305-981-184
12. SITH: Darth Ravage (NSL) 6,261-987-183
DFI: American Freedom Fighter E.J. (SHL) 6,261-1,003-276
14. SITH: Darth Bedlam (NSL) 6,238-1,086-172
15. IMT/BLOOD: Wonderful Wally Brown (GRL) 6,073-575-205
16. "Mr. Everything" Kirk Lockran (AWL) 5,839-1,400-280
17. Dan the Man (HSL) 5,693-1,016-179
18. NGAA: Rydia Stormer (MDL) 5,327-1,606-303
19. EDGE: Demon (BBL) 5,287-2,393-108
20. MWC: Pete the Geek (IGL) 5,036-955-154
LIST OF LEAGUES
Iron Federation
Center Stage, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Heroes and Legends, Iron Man, Main Event, Quick Pin, Xtreme Poison
Steel Federation
American Wrestling, Classic Championship Wrestling, Intense Impact, King of Kings, Louisiana Swamp, Man Up, New Blood, Old School, Vicious Valkyries, World Domination
Gold Federation
All Star, Battle Royal, Blood Bath, Continental Wrestling, Global Wrestling, Independent Wrestling, Knight's Honor, Mexican Mayhem, Mystic Diva, National Wrestling, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death, Triple Threat
Diamond Federation
Action Packed, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Lethal Brawling, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling
Bronze Federation
American Extreme, American Outlaw, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hardcore Superstars, Iron Glove, Living Nightmare, Revolution Wrestling, Strong Style Wrestling
Jade Federation
Atomic Age, Combat Zone, Deluxe Wrestling, Jade Dragon, Lone Wolf, Lovely Ladies, Psychotic Killer, Super Hero, True Grit, Wrestlers Elite
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