HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES -- engraved plaque
Lee Macko of Michigan
Classic: "Ace Cowboy" Bob Norton (WCL) 1,000-349-70, $2,246,400 *10
Cory Jones of Virginia
BIQ: Izzy Crazy (NAL) 1,485-628-60, $4,708,600 *2
BIQ: Kanny Wynn (NAL) 1,363-414-55, $4,404,100 *3
BIQ: Willie Survive (NAL) 2,110-722-99, $6,348,300 *1
WORLD, U.S., KING OF THE RING
World Champion
"Happy" Ralphie Bloodthirst (LWL)
Jason Groomes of Iowa; 501; $300,000 + 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt & 50 free matches; entered due to an in-league error; champion would have been Rory Funk, Jr. (MWL)
The Delta Center in Salt Lake City, Utah, is abuzz. The Lone Wolf League is in town, but tonight is different, as the governing body from the IWA offices is in town also. Many dignitaries are seen in attendance. The lights go out, and the song "Raining Blood" by Slayer blares over the P.A. system as local LWL superstar "Happy" Ralphie Bloodthirst bursts from behind the curtain to the adulation of his hometown crowd. Ralphie slowly walks down the aisle toward the ring where a podium is set up and IWA President Johnny B waits, sitting at a table with the IWA World Championship belt. The crowd chants Ralphie's name, and kids can be seen in the crowd with their replica Ralphie foam cheese graters as he finally enters the ring and shakes the president's hand. Also at the table are the members of the LWL's Authority. Johnny B straps the belt around Ralphie's waist, and the crowd erupts. He shakes the president's hand again and steps to the podium to begin speaking:
(Grinning as the crowd continues chanting his name) "Whoever it was that said championships didn't matter -- wait a minute..." (Holding his hand to his head as if it were a gun) "Seriously, I'm very gracious for this. I've been grinding pretty hard lately. The 31 staples I received after the Mount Bloodmore match with my turncoat brother just came out a couple of days ago. Still, the tenderness of my hairline is a constant reminder of that war. The hair is even growing back where they shaved off part of my dreadlocks.
"I have a list of some people I want to thank: Mom, you've been my rock. My cousin, Meltdown, who is one of the greatest wrestling teachers of all time. Of course, my pops (Death Metal), who has always been my inspiration; I hope I've made you proud. My associate, El Hijo del Armas Archuleta; you're a good friend. My rivals, Johnny Canuck, whom I've enjoyed hurting so much, and Starkiller, the torturing of whom the past year and a half has given me almost as much pleasure as the tooth I took from him to have implanted into mine -- smile; show off that gap, hahaha! Lastly, my brother, Antler Jones, who blindly stabbed me in the back, but also opened my eyes and renewed my focus.
(Unstrapping his belt and holding it high overhead) "This is an open invitation to everyone else in the IWA. The LWL is the toughest place to be. Don't be fooled by some fabricated revolutionaries. You can run in our pack like a man, or you can go somewhere else like a punk! I'll be here waiting!"
U.S. Champion
Team Glug: Supernaut (IWL)
Colin M. Denlea of Georgia; 501; $60,000 + a plaque or 25 free matches
King of the Ring
TSD: Michael Maddness (EEL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi; 499; a plaque or 25 free matches; 272 KotR total; edged EDGE: Masked Terror (NAL); hold positions were 2, 3, 5, 7, 8, 11, 13, 15; battle royal hold positions were 1, 4, 6, 8, 9, 10, 12, 14; manager's 16th career King of the Ring title
SPECIALTY TITLES -- $25,000 + 10 free matches
American Champion
EDGE: J.C. Steel (ASL)
Rob Bream of Pennsylvania; 499; edged Hot $tuff Adam Ca$h (BRL)
Asiatic Champion
EDGE: Da Vanilla Twista (NBL)
"The Sledgehammer" Adam Sullivan of Canada; 500; edged OMEGA: "Wild" Braddock Vile (JDL)
Hardcore Champion
BLOOD: Sinister Steve Stryker (PKL)
"Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont; 499; edged OMEGA: Godzilla (TDL), Death Warrant (MML)
Metropolitan Champion
Da Vanilla Twista
FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS -- $40,000 + 25 free matches
Iron Federation Champion
TSD: Michael Maddness (EEL)
Michael Eaves of Mississippi; 499; edged EDGE: Sully "The Sledgehammer" Sullivan (MEL); manager's 59th career Federation title
Steel Federation Champion
Rory Funk, Jr. (MWL)
John Stephenson of California; 501
Gold Federation Champion
Doug Gavelon (NWL)
Travis Larrabee of Pennsylvania; 501
Diamond Federation Champion
OMEGA: The War Machine (RCL)
Solomon Shaw of Maine; 499; edged EDGE: Superstar Billy Silva (NAL), APO/DO: Dr. Pain Paul Pressure (LBL), VIRUS: American Muscle Ryan O'Rourke (ABL)
Bronze Federation Champion
OMEGA: Irish Wolfhound Razor (AEL)
Solomon Shaw; missed title by point flow last time; 500
Jade Federation Champion
"Happy" Ralphie Bloodthirst (LWL)
Jason Groomes of Iowa; 501; entered due to an in-league error; champion would have been OMEGA: The 18th Amendment (WEL, Solomon Shaw, 500) edging OMEGA: "Wild" Braddock Vile (JDL)
NATIONAL, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS -- $20,000
National Champion
Team Glug: Mr. Submission (IWL)
Colin M. Denlea of Georgia; 501; a plaque or 25 free matches; Dixie region
Atlantic Champion
FMR: Hired Assassin #1 (BBL)
"The Game" from Parts Unknown; 500
Central Champion
Creed Michaels (NWL)
Travis Larrabee of Pennsylvania; 499; edged LB: Dark Phoenix F.S. (ASL), Captain "Bud" Drunkenwasted (IWL), REV/IVHM: Michael Rose (BRL)
Eastern Champion
FMR: "The Condottiero" Micheletto Corella (BRL)
Anthony Fazio from Parts Unknown; 499; edged TSD: Brown Ninja (EHL), Rich Von Bruiser (IWL), Midnite Express: Sweet Sam Lane (MWL)
Mountain Champion
FMR: Hank Moody (IWL)
Anthony Fazio; 499; edged BLOOD: Hardrider III (NFL), REV/IVHM: Stevie Joe Stephenson (BRL)
Northern Champion
KDSN: QuickTrim Spokeswoman Kim Kardashian (TCL)
Matt Yunick of New York; 500
Pacific Champion
FMR: The Franchise Anthony Fazio (NDL)
Anthony Fazio; edged OMEGA: Vlad the Impaler (CLL), MWC: "Flamboyant" Johnny Stewart (FSL, missed title by point flow last time), REV: Rude Doodie (BRL), BLOOD: Bray Wyatt (HWL), REV: Booty McGhee (NWL)
Prairie Champion
FMR: Cosimo de'Medici (BRL)
Anthony Fazio; 500
Southern Champion
FMR: Lorenzo de'Medici (BRL)
Anthony Fazio; 499; edged VIRUS: Mongolian Rebel (AWL)
Western Champion
OMEGA: Genetic Freak Justin Stone (TCL)
Solomon Shaw of Maine; 499; edged EDGE: "Thug Life" SJ Perfect (FLL), LB: The Legendary Frank "Leatherman" Snow (BRL)
LADIES' TITLES
Ladies' World Champion
MWC: Woman of the Knight #1 (FFL)
Steven M. Shotliff of Minnesota; 499; $40,000 + a plaque or 15 free matches
Ladies' U.S. Champion
WC: Kacey Lee Valentine (MDL)
Michael D. Pepple of Massachusetts; $20,000; edged MWC: Woman of the Knight #2 (FFL)
Queen of the Ring
Nikki Blair
269 QotR total; edged MWC: Brandy Dirt (FFL), EDGE/JERKSS: Happy Girl (VVL)
Ladies' National Champion
TSD: Rachel "The Whale" Huntoon (MDL)
Jason Battaglia of New York; 501
Ladies' Tag-team Champions
Madison Wylde & Nikki Blair
Rob Bream of Pennsylvania
Ladies' U.S. Tag-team Champions
EDGE/JERKSS: Garbage Lady & Snowbird Beth (LLL)
Erik Davis of Washington
World Six-woman Champions
KDSN: Pregnant Kim, Masked Kourtney, Masked Khloe Kardashian (MDL)
Matt Yunick of New York; edged EDGE: Sarah Summers, Madison Wylde, Nikki Blair (LLL)
U.S. Six-woman Champions
TSC: Junebug, Mama, Gramma Jones (LLL)
Brent Wahr of Michigan
TAG-TEAM TITLES
World Tag-team Champions
MWC: Guy from Minnesota & Another Guy from Minnesota (JDL)
Steven M. Shotliff of Minnesota; retained titles; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches
OMEGA: Warlock Typhoon & The Bodyguard (SGL)
Joshua Haight of Wisconsin; manager retained titles
OMEGA: Problem Solver Matt & The Situation Jackson Cross (CLL)
Solomon Shaw of Maine
Top Contenders
4. OMEGA: The Electrifying Enigma & Tough Terry Strawberry (FSL)
5. Alex & Axel von Snapp (CWL)
ranked #6 last time
Western Medicine: Cowboy Jim Spur & Dr. Piledriver MD (BRL)
ranked #6 last time
Fatty the Butcher & Hot Stuff Adam Ca$h (MML)
ranked #9 last time
OMEGA: Still Bill Hill & Not Bill Hill (PKL)
last of the teams with 516
9. EDGE: Whitelightning's Warriors #1 & #2 (CSL)
10. TSD: Mighty Max & Jumpin' Johnny Stargunn (NDL)
U.S. Tag-team Champions
EDGE: Keith & Bruce Scott (CWL)
Jeff Annable of Canada; share of $20,000
OMEGA: Vlad the Impaler & The Basket Case Sid Skyscraper (CLL)
Solomon Shaw; 516; edged OMEGA: Kamikaze Kid & Prodigal Son (MML), EDGE/JERKSS: The News & The Backyard Brawler (NDL), HIGHER FLYERS: Graig Gagne & "Jumpin" Jim Brazil (BRL, missed titles by point flow last time)
SIX-MAN TITLES
World Six-man Champions
VIRUS/GCW: Mr. Johnson, Mr. Belcher, Cutthroat Max Blade (AWL)
Frank Jay Belcher III & Mitchell Johnson (Blade), both of Michigan; Belcher held titles 15 cycles in a row; share of $50,000 + 15 free matches
EDGE: Mr. Kitty, Badguy Brody Ballistic, Goodguy Gordy Goodwood (TDL)
Rich Schwartzenburg of Canada
EDGE: "The Alliterating" Adam Aranovski, Hugh Jestpythons, Sunsout Gunsout (BRL)
"The Sledgehammer" Adam Sullivan of Canada
OMEGA: Bobby Digital, Genius, Skillz (OSL)
Rich Reilly of New Jersey
OMEGA: OMERTA, The Prime Mover, Vicer Exciser (KKL)
Ben West of Georgia
Top Contenders
6. OMEGA: Project Pat Sajak, "Wild" Braddock Vile, Godlike Johnny Phoenix (JDL)
ranked #3 last time
OMEGA: "Black" Jack Blackjack, Bob Cornelius the Indigo Father, The Joyful Plower (PKL)
ranked #9 last time
8. OMEGA: Marky Mark Karkovice, Steggie Reggie, Johnny Jay Jerusalem (XPL)
ranked #5 last time; last of the teams with 521
9. EDGE: Squirrelly, Curly, Whirly Hurley (NDL)
10. MWC: The Rockin' Redneck, The Scramblin' Hillbilly, Wayne "the Train" Bloom (QPL)
U.S. Six-man Champions
MWC: Hooded Soldiers I, II, III (FSL)
Steven M. Shotliff of Minnesota; $20,000; edged MWC: Foot Soldiers #1, #2, #3 (JDL), EDGE: Maniacal Mike Huckabee, Gorgeous Glenn Beck, Showtime Sean Hannity (IGL), VIRUS: King Dingaling, Starvin' Marvin, The Million Dollar Man Slick Rick (HWL), EDGE: "Y2B" Chris Babylon, CM Funk, Bryan Samuel (BRL), EDGE/JERKSS: The News, Dirt Bag Davis, The Backyard Brawler (NDL)
TOP 10 LEAGUES -- veteran leagues only
1. IWL (978 matches) 486.507
2. LWL (865 matches) 492.769
3. NBL (840 matches) 490.118
4. BRL (810 matches) 493.951
won the two matches for $1 cycle for having the highest average strategy total (counting only active wrestlers)
5. UWL (696 matches) 493.186
6. TDL (500 matches) 493.294
7. AWL (499 matches) 485.098
8. MML (436 matches) 492.914
9. ASL (400 matches) 492.925
10. CWL (362 matches) 493.393
TOP 20 MONEY HOLDERS -- active wrestlers only
1. Kaptain Kryptonite (NBL) $31,177,000
2. LPPF: Medieval Tymes (NAL) $21,818,700
3. "Mr. Powerful" Ken Lambeau (PKL) $21,137,000
4. LPPF: Innovator of Arrogance Keith A. Maple (GRL) $21,002,200
5. JL6: The Hooded Inmate (IML) $18,837,700
6. APO: Gypsy Rose Lee (ECL) $17,157,779
7. BLOOD: Mike Drake (HWL) $17,028,900
8. EDGE/DT: Mike White Lightning Moore (QPL) $15,994,400
9. DFI: American Freedom Fighter E.J. (SHL) $14,802,838
10. BLOOD: Sir Gunther Kinderwacht (BRL) $14,534,100
11. LPPF: Bloody Assault Jessica Lee Richards (LLL) $14,373,200
12. TSD: The Survivor (ECL) $13,203,400
13. Arsenal (TDL) $13,129,500
14. TSD: King Krusher (ASL) $12,973,600
15. FMR: High Stakes Chris Edwards (IGL) $12,556,500
16. Johnny "2 Kold" Koolakowski (IGL) $12,060,000
17. EDGE: Motorheadbanger Annihilator (PAL) $10,620,800
18. Cpl. Punishment (LBL) $10,511,100
19. LPPF/FMR: Alpha Male (BRL) $10,414,000
20. NGAA: Hawkeye Science (NGL) $10,381,800
LIST OF LEAGUES
Iron Federation
Center Stage, Elite Action, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Iron Man, Main Event, Next Generation, Quantum Pro, Wrestling Superstars, Xtreme Poison
Steel Federation
Absolute Pain, American Wrestling, Eastern States Wrestling, Fighting Legends, Intense Impact, King of Kings, Last Man Standing, Mid-Atlantic Wrestling Legacy, New Blood, Old School, Unknown Wrestler, Vicious Valkyries
Gold Federation
All Star, Battle Royal, Blood Bath, Caliente Lucha, Continental Wrestling, Fighting Superstars, Independent Wrestling, Mexican Mayhem, Mystic Diva, National Wrestling, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death
Diamond Federation
American Bodyslam, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Lethal Brawling, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling
Bronze Federation
Alternate Existence, American Outlaw, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hot Streak, Iron Glove, Raging Bull, Soul Asylum, Total Chaos
Jade Federation
Atomic Age, Jade Dragon, Lone Wolf, Lovely Ladies, Primal Rage, Psychotic Killer, Pure Adrenaline, Smoking Gun, Super Hero, Wrestlers Elite
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