Vol. 15, No. 8 -- June 2010
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2010 STATE WRESTLING CHAMPIONS
Listed below are the fifty new IWA State Champions! Each winning wrestler was awarded $100,000 in imaginary earnings, and their managers have earned bragging rights for a full year. Thanks to everyone who competed this year and made the battles for these titles so fierce!
HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES
A Scandalous Domination, Inc. Event:
The time has finally come for SDI's VP, Grayson Stone, to hang up his boots, ending an extremely violent and bloody career with 1,009 wins, 391 losses, 103 draws, and 30 stars. A holder of 1 Gold Federation, 4 league, 2 TV, 1 TV tag, and 27 regional championships, VP Stone is easily the most successful member of SDI ever! Never missing a single cycle, his travels have taken him across the IWA, starting with the HTL, then to the LNL, BBL, NAL, APL, ABL, LBL, and ending with the game's oldest league, the ASL. This man was truly the real deal.
Usually a man of few words, Mr. Stone could not wait to make the following remarks regarding his induction into the IWA Hall of Fame: "I have bled and bled and bled and bled, and because of me... many of YOU have bled and bled and bled and bled some more... but the bloodletting can finally end, because violence in the IWA will NEVER be the same without Grayson Stone! SDI is now and forever near and dear to me, as I did not think that I would find so much love for another organization after I left the UFC. I'm glad I was wrong, and all thanks go out to JPB7 for making me a part of something historic. Boss, you saw the fire inside of me and gave me the chance to be the president of your wrestling company. Of course, you had to take that title back from me when I went a little crazy last year, but I truly owe all of my success to you. If I could've, I would have wrestled forever, but the doctor said I may have ended up a vegetable if I continued on with my in-ring career, and I couldn't do that to my wife. She comes first. I honestly thought that inducting my idol, the Crucifier, into the Hall of Fame was the highlight of my career, but I have to say that being inducted by my soul mate, Chairwoman Nairobi, at the former ECW Arena was an equal honor, and I am thankful I can cherish that memory for the rest of my life. To all of my former colleagues in the IWA, it was never anything personal... I just wanted to hurt you. Mission accomplished (right, Dorian O'Maire?). To the fans, I tried my best to get all of you to hate me, but the more I destroyed the competition, the more you cheered. I'm glad I gave you something to enjoy, but you will see much more of me as I am working on my first movie -- a remake of 'Double Dragon' with Vin Diesel, which will be in theaters next year. Hey, at least you'll all still get to see me kick some you-know-what! SDI or DIE!!!"
(Sirree A. Raysor of North Carolina will receive an engraved plaque to commemorate this occasion.)
wWw: Wildcard Ace Hunter (1,634-492-86, $3,270,700 *20) is retiring from the ECL. He began his career in the NFL, and quickly made his mark by threatening to kill the league. He first targeted the beloved group of wrestlers known as the Grandpas and was going to retire them one at a time, quickly becoming a marked and hated wrestler who seemed nearly unstoppable as he won almost every title in the league. He became the number one wrestler in the league by simultaneously holding the league title and Commissioner's title. As the ECL became a part of the ICL, he again became one of the top wrestlers in the five-league group, and was one of the five chosen to compete for the ICL championship.
Upon joining the wWw, he moved to the home league of the Warriors, the ECL, and began making his mark there, also. He helped the wWw dominate the league by winning four battle royals in a year, and taking both the league and Asiatic titles. He was edged out for Wrestler of the Year by a slim margin.
Manager Ed Cassens of Missouri has earned two plaques for guiding his grapplers to the top!
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
This $300,000 title was awarded to NME: Spade (BBL), who pinned his final opponent with the help of his perfect 501-point strategy! Following the victory, Spade's manager, Tim Zaegel of Virginia, joined him inside the ring, where they pulled out a can of spray paint and etched the ZOMBI stable initials on the belt.
Jacob Elbe of Wisconsin earned his choice of an engraved plaque or 25 free matches by coaching "The Avenger" Randall Anderson (UEL) to point flow victory over APA: The Detective (MSL), CAST: Innovator of Arrogance Keith A. Maple (NAL), and CAST: Okposo (ECL)! Each of these league TV champions had a 501 total.
KING OF THE RING
Tim Zaegel of Virginia won this title's engraved plaque or 25 free matches using NME: Hydro (BBL)! Though his overall strategy was worth 499 points, what really counted was his show-stopping 274-point total when we added up the values of the holds at positions 3, 5, 7, 9, 10, 12, 13, and 14 in every battle royal winner's strategy. Hold positions 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 8, 11, and 15 were used to determine the regular league battle royal outcomes.
CTI/NVME: Magnificent Marvin Masters (TCL) had to edge both CAST: Assassin Beast Poyzn (ASL) and CTI/NVME: Deadly Dave Grohl (ABL) to gain this $25,000 payday, since each had a 500-pointer. His manager, Grant Matthews, must have really wanted to keep our American title in Canada!
VU: Ice Man (CFL) and PSY: Judas Travellar (NDL) each had 501 points, but their point flow wasn't quite good enough to stop PSY: "Mr. Quickpin" Quincy Domino (MEL) from taking this $25,000 purse. His manager, Mike Dorsett of New York, will receive 10 free matches!
Although CTI/NVME: Damian Quicksilver (ALL) missed out on retaining his World Heavyweight title by a hair, he was able to keep this belt around his waist! Manager Grant Matthews of Canada pocketed 10 free matches for coaching him to point flow victory over, oddly enough, Æ: Mr. Hardcore (GRL) himself. Each had a 501-pointer.
Æ: Mr. Hardcore may not have won the title which shares his name, but he proved to be the best of the champions from our six most active leagues! Since this was the fifth time this year that the title went to a GRL wrestler, Anthony Rodriguez of Alabama (who provided the 501-point strategy) won thirty free matches!
Darryl Epps of Connecticut picked up 10 free matches for managing DDT: "The Natural" Nigel Wolfe (AOL) all the way to this $25,000 championship! Nigel had to use his Jaw Breaker Lariat against KRUPT: The Rosh Rosh Rosh Guy (BGL), who nearly won the belt himself.
PSY: Black Knight (IML) used his 499-pointer to win the Iron Federation honors for Mike Dorsett of New York. Mike also took home the 25 free matches that accompany the Bronze Federation title! His wrestler, PSY: "Mr. Quickpin" Quincy Domino (MEL), edged out VU: Ice Man (CFL), CTI: Perfection Man (IGL), Æ: Hollywood Armstrong (OTL), Æ: Mr. Hardcore (GRL), and APA: Ice (MSL). Each had a 501 total. CAST: Mr. Self Promotion Randall Reedy (CCL) of Michigan secured the Steel Federation prize with a perfect 501, and wWw: Mike White Lightning Moore (NAL) of North Carolina also managed himself to a win with a 501-point strategy! He picked up the Diamond Federation purse by narrowly defeating previous champion CTI/NVME: Damian Quicksilver (ALL), then successfully defending the title against Æ: Ric Legend (NFL), the Mysterious Benefactor (AFL), and CTI: Mike Extreme (BHL). Before he was able to put the World Heavyweight strap around his waist, Spade had to face PSY: Judas Travellar (NDL) in the battle for the Gold Federation. Both men had 501 points. Taking home the Jade Federation belt was Æ: Bruiser Buck Dewitt (SHL)! He was managed to a 499 total by Sly Smith of West Virginia.
NATIONAL CHAMPION, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS
After capturing the Pacific region, Æ: Agent Matt Secret (NDL) set his sights on the National prize of an engraved plaque or 25 free matches, and ended up winning it for Johnathan Bridgeman of Arkansas! All of the regions besides the Western region were claimed by a 501 total. The winners were...
Chad LaBombard of Michigan enabled Æ: Drunk Debbie Stevens (VVL) to win the Ladies' World Championship, so he gets his choice of an engraved plaque or 15 free matches! Her strategy was worth 500 points. CAST: Beach Bum Lucy Bufkin (MDL) took home the Queen of the Ring honors, with a little help from Michael Eaves of Mississippi. The $20,000 Ladies' U.S. belt went to CTI: Baby Maya (FFL), who was managed to a perfect 501 total by Mike Carver of Pennsylvania. Mike also gained a share of the U.S. Six-woman straps by teaming his CTI: Italian Brat Anna S with stablemates Buffy and Stacey the Vampires (FFL), who belong to "The Ladies' Man" Nick Dendekker of Canada! Buffy and CAST: "Thick 'N' Juicy" Jayden Diamond (FFL) both tried for the Ladies' National Championship, but were edged out by Dominant Factor Vanity (MDL). Her winning 500-pointer was supplied by Tim Zaegel of Virginia. Claiming the Ladies' tag straps were Æ: Countess Arrogance and Queen of the Revolution (who won both the Ladies' World title and Queen of the Ring crown last time). Also from the FFL and also managed by Michael Drake of New York, Æ: Duchess Dryken and Lethal Vixen were able to hold onto their U.S. Tag-team titles! They edged out CAST: Maggie "Thief Catcher" Cheung and Michelle "Invisible Woman" Yeoh (MDL), but when manager Anthony Dudick of New York added Anita "Wonder Woman" Mui to the team, his trio decided to bring home the World Six-woman belts, and that's just what they did!
WORLD TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS
Æ: C.W. and G.Z. Drake (CLL) each received $50,000 for defeating our other league tag-team champions last cycle! Their manager, Michael Drake of New York, gets to choose either an engraved plaque or 15 free matches as his prize. The top five teams listed had 516 points. Ultimate Headcrusher and Dominant Factor War remained on the list from last time!
TOP 10 TAG-TEAMS
U.S. TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS
Michael Drake of New York paired his Æ: Canadian Hardcore with RWS: Ositini (CLL), who is managed by Joe Hall of Illinois, and the team brought home these $20,000 titles! PSY: Public Enemy #1 and the Bourbon Legend (OSL) also had a 516-point team total, but lost by point flow.
WORLD SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS
The battle for these belts ended in an unbreakable four-way tie. The Kill Slayers won a share for Sly Smith of West Virginia, making it his third cycle in a row holding these titles! Ian Sanderson, Vic Vicious, and Nick Mystic belong to Nick Jones of Ohio, and the Cut Throat, Inc. members are managed by Joshua Haight of Wisconsin. Furious Styles is owned by Anthony Dudick of New York, while the Assassin Beasts are the property of Maurice Plante from Canada. All 10 teams listed had 521 points!
TOP 10 SIX-MAN TEAMS
U.S. SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS
"Dr. Pain" Mark Duchaine of Vermont wrote CAST: Don't Touch Me Elmo, Tickle Me Pitbull, and Deathmatch Celebrity Marilyn Manson (PKL) a prescription for a perfect 521-point team strategy, and they used it to win these $20,000 belts!
TOP 10 LEAGUES
As determined by the number of matches in each, the most active leagues for the May cycle appear below. The New Blood League surged ahead, nearly doubling its closest competitor! This marks its fifth straight cycle at the top of the list. Because the active wrestlers in the Noble Savage League had the best average strategy total (just like last time!), their managers can take two matches for $1 next cycle. The ASL and UWL were barely more than a point behind.
TOP 20 STARS
(This list only includes active wrestlers.)
LIST OF LEAGUES
IRON FEDERATION: Center Stage, Extreme Action, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Iron Man, Jersey City Wrestling, Murder Incorporated, Mysterious Benefactor, Next Generation, Quick Pin, Rising Stars, Slumber-party Massacre, Wrestling Superstars, Xtreme Poison, Young Lions
STEEL FEDERATION: Absolute Pain, Burial Grounds, Casting Couch, Devil Inside, Fighting Legends, Intense Impact, King Kong, Lost Souls, Mid-Atlantic Region, New Blood, Old School, Praying Mantis, Rebel Yell, Vicious Valkyries, Zeus Power
GOLD FEDERATION: All Star, Battle Royal, Black Ops, Blood Bath, Chicago Legends, Classic Wrestling, Dark Angel, Extraordinary Power, Federated Suns, Masked Wrestling, Mystic Diva, Ninja Dojo, Texas Death, Union Express
DIAMOND FEDERATION: American Bodyslam, American Legion, Armed Forces, Bounty Hunter, Dark Days, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Last Breath, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling
BRONZE FEDERATION: Assassin's Order, Barbaric Warrior, Coffin Filler, Extreme Hardcore, Grim Reaper, Hot Streak, Iron Glove, Main Event, Men of Steel, Old Timer's, Raging Bull, Soul Asylum, Torture Chamber, Unknown Wrestler
JADE FEDERATION: Atomic Age, Born Tough, Iowa Corn, Jade Dragon, Just Incredible, Just Rasslin', Killer Soldiers, Lovely Ladies, Primal Rage, Psychotic Killer, Smoking Gun, South Central Wrestling, Super Hero, World Wrestling, Wrestlers Elite
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