2008 STATE WRESTLING CHAMPIONS

Listed below are our reigning State Champions! Each was awarded $100,000 in imaginary earnings for outlasting all other competitors in his state's battle royal. We congratulate their deserving managers, and offer our sincerest gratitude to all the participants. We hope to see everyone next year, when these titles will once again be up for grabs!

JOHNNY B SAYS

We recently received a letter from someone calling him- or herself "The Mysterious Benefactor." Here are the contents of that letter:

"Cash prize! Now that I have your attention, let me introduce you to the IWA's newest league... the Mysterious Benefactor League (MBL)! This league is unlike any other. In this league you will have the opportunity to win one or two cash prizes. The league champion will receive a $40 cash prize every cycle. Not only that, but the league's TV Champion will also receive a $10 cash prize every cycle! As the league's commissioner, the Mysterious Benefactor may also award other prizes as the league grows into one of the IWA's best. There are a few stipulations: The Mysterious Benefactor wants this league to be fair to all comers, so there are no transfers allowed -- ever! You must create new wrestlers to compete in the MBL! Also, since there will be a demand to compete in such a league, there is a three wrestler maximum per manager. The MBL will be in the Iron Federation. If you're interested in taking some money out of the Mysterious Benefactor's pocket, or just looking for some old school IWA fun, then head over to the MBL!"

We have agreed to the terms of this league, but would like to add our own stipulation: you must be at least 18 years old to join. (We would also like to note that the Mysterious Benefactor is only affiliated with the IWA to the extent that any other league commissioner is.)

This looks like a fun idea. We hope this league turns out to be entertaining for everyone involved!

HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES

Entering our Hall of Fame this cycle is the Legion of Domination's Road Warrior Animal and Road Warrior Hawk! Hawk retires with a record of 1,012-420-72, with 26 stars and earnings of $3,379,500. Hawk is the brother of current IWA Hall of Fame member Sting, who retired last year. They were known as Missy Boyz when they teamed together. Like most brothers (he was the younger one), they fought with each other. He left the tag-team a few times, and was also managed by Sexy Missy. Hawk made his debut in the Full Force League back in 1992. During his rookie year, his infamous feud with Fritz Capp's Vlad the Impaler gave the rising star well deserved respect among his peers. He has made stops in the FFL, EBL, BHL, TSL, NPL, BGL, JIL, SHL, IGL, and ends his career in the ASL. Hawk was a member of the Squadron Supreme (SS), UKA, LOD, IE, NVUS, LOD-2000, ICE, and LPPF.

Animal retires with a record of 1,023-217-59, with 28 stars and earnings of $1,783,500. He is a long lost cousin of Hawk. Not much is known of him.

Congratulations to manager Eric Lindsay of Pennsylvania, who will receive two engraved plaques for this occasion!

WORLD CHAMPION

This $300,000 purse went to ACE: Kill Caustic (CWL), managed by Howie Sandberg of New York! His 500-pointer won Howie the choice of 100 free matches or a real wrestling belt and 50 free matches.

U.S. CHAMPION

LB: Golden Boy Teddy Angel (BRL) defeated all other league TV champions last cycle to win this engraved plaque or 25 free matches for Frank Snow of North Carolina! His strategy was worth a perfect 501 points.

KING OF THE RING

This engraved plaque or 25 free matches was awarded to Sly Smith of West Virginia! He managed ACE: Superstar Billy Green (TDL) to a 273-point total when we added the values of hold positions 1, 3, 5, 8, 10, 11, 13, and 15 in the strategy of every battle royal winner. Hold positions 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 9, 12, and 14 were used for the regular battle royals.

ASIATIC CHAMPION

Winning this $25,000 title was PERFECT: The Messiah of Mayhem (WPL), managed by Andre Sabucco of Texas. His 499-point strategy earned Andre 10 free matches!

HARDCORE CHAMPION

Howie Sandberg of New York turned back our other Hardcore league champions with ACE: War Room Controller (GRL)! He won 10 free matches.

FEDERATION PLAY-OFFS

ACE: Master of the Pin (WSL) won the Iron Federation title when he defeated stablemates "Hired Assassin" Hank Massacre (MIL) and Hoosier Daddy (QPL), plus EDGE: Mr. Stroke of Death (IML) by point flow. His manager, John M. Kruse of Indiana, received 25 free matches! ACE: President Pat Buchanan (CCL) owes his Steel Federation victory to his (campaign) manager, Jason Sandberg of New York. He had to edge past ACE: Tortured Soul (KKL), LPPF: The Storm (OSL), and Asiatic Champion PERFECT: The Messiah of Mayhem (WPL), since all had 499 points. IWA World Champion Kill Caustic used the Gold Federation as a stepping stone to the big prize. His manager, Howie Sandberg of New York, also claimed the Diamond championship! His wrestler, ACE: When In Rome (IRL), had to edge out Black Moon (DDL). In the Bronze Federation, Gregg Boyle of Maryland led PERFECT: Little Lou (KTL) to a point flow win over LPPF: Sadistic Servant (Burning Underworld) #1 (CFL), ACE: "Stand Up Comedian" Alvie Singer (JEL), RW: Greg "The Beast" Knowles (WCL), and PERFECT: Self-Righteous Schmuck (NYL). H2O: Kaotiq K.B. (AAL) conquered the Jade Federation with a little help from Kevin Burnett of California.

NATIONAL CHAMPION, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS

ACE: The Golden ACE (CWL) helped Sly Smith of West Virginia hold onto the National title! After taking the Southern region with a 500 total, he won Sly another plaque or 25 free matches by defeating the other regional champions! They were...

LADIES' TITLES

Andre Sabucco of Texas led PERFECT: Dracula's Bride Verona (VVL) to the Ladies' World Championship with a 499-pointer! His efforts won him an engraved plaque or 15 free matches. He also took home the U.S. Six-woman titles with PERFECT: Evil Erin, Maniac Molly, and Sinister Samantha (VVL)! Our reigning Queen of the Ring is WCW: Baddest Amer. Biker Stratusfaction 13th (LLL). She wrestles under the watchful eye of David C. Welker from North Carolina. LPPF: Knockout Specialist Rebecca Streets (VVL) scored the $20,000 U.S. title for manager Keith A. Maple of Ohio. She had 499 points. The Ladies' tag straps stayed in the possession of Virginian manager Neel LaBar, this time thanks to ACE: Awesome Kong and Beth Phoenix (LLL). They edged out LPPF: D.W. and C.J. the Imperfect Nobodies (VVL). Neel also secured the U.S. tag championships! His victorious duo was ACE: Bull Nakano and Akira Hokuto (LLL). Losing by point flow were PERFECT: Christina Alley and Alexis Soppy (VVL), who teamed with Rachel Marie and took the World Six-woman titles as a consolation prize! Gregg Boyle of Maryland managed the trio to a 521 total, then sent Alexis after the Ladies' National honors. She won it by point flow over LPPF members Bloody Assault Jessica Lee Richards (VVL), plus J.P. and G.B. the Imperfect Nobodies (VVL)!

WORLD TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS

The battle for these belts again ended in an unbreakable tie. David and Joel Novick fought their best for Jason Sandberg of New York, while Jason P. Miller of Kansas helped Fire and Brimstone share the glory. The top seven teams listed had 516 points. Worthy of note is that COT members Death and War moved up from ninth place last time!

TOP 10 TAG-TEAMS

U.S. TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS

Like last cycle, the prize money for these belts had to be split down the middle. Unlike last cycle, both teams are managed by the same person! Jason P. Miller of Kansas owns both PERFECT pairs, which are the Artist Formerly Known as Prince and the Inspiration (JRL), plus Pestilence and Professor Chaos (AAL). They used point flow to win over LPPF: Aunt Mary and Uncle Mike (IIL); ACE: Uncle Ruckus and Ollie Williams (JIL); PERFECT: David and Dave (PML); ACE: Sheik Yerbutti and Syrian Assassin (NDL); plus COT: Pestilence and Famine (DIL).

WORLD SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS

Just like last time, four teams ended in an unbreakable tie for these belts. Sly Smith of West Virginia retained partial ownership, this time using ACE squads from both the IIL and RYL! Howie Sandberg of New York also kept his name on the titles, this time using an ACE team from the OSL. Shaun McPeck of Illinois ordered his PERFECT wrestlers to prevent ACE from hogging all the loot. And just like last time, all 10 teams in the standings had 521 points, and so did a PERFECT team in eleventh place! This time that team was the Hunters Destroyer, One Cycle Wonder, and Brian Spencer (KTL). On a related note, PERFECT: The Emperor, Darth Maul, and Darth Vader remained on the list from last time!

TOP 10 SIX-MAN TEAMS

U.S. SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS

Sly Smith of West Virginia added these titles to his winnings with the aid of ACE: Bad News Blake, Ric Legend, and Awesome Sean MCA (PML)! They had to edge out PERFECT: Precious Moments Pimp and Squirrel, plus Krazy Kenny McCormick (AAL); LB: Catfish Jackson, Smiling Jack Manitoba, and Saxe Gotha (JIL); PERFECT: Knight in Shining Arrogance, Posturing Hero, and "Mister Superstar" J.P.M. (HSL); LPPF: "Who the Heck is?" Mike Cook, the Hired Assassin Jerry Cook, and Graham "Cracker" Johnson (OSL); ACE: The American Dream Muhammad al-Akbar, the Afghan Trash Man, and Taliban Freedom Fighter O.B.L. (RYL); plus PERFECT: Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi, Lando Calrissian, and Yoda (APL). Each team had 521!

TOP 10 LEAGUES

Listed below are the most active leagues for the March cycle as determined by the number of matches in each. The Unknown Wrestler League held onto first place for a third consecutive cycle! Lovely Ladies League managers can choose to take two matches for $1 instead of paying the regular price next cycle. That's because the active wrestlers in their league had the best average strategy total out of all ten. Rounding out the top four were the ASL, NAL, and UWL.

TOP 20 VICTORIES

(This list only includes active wrestlers.)

LIST OF LEAGUES

IRON FEDERATION: Battling Titans, Center Stage, Danger Zone, Empire Wrestling, Extreme Existence, Hardcore Wrestling, Iron Man, Murder Incorporated, New Generation, Quick Pin, Slumber-party Massacre, Under Fire, Wrestling Superstars, Xtreme Poison

STEEL FEDERATION: Absolute Pain, Caribbean Coast, Devil Inside, Intense Impact, King Kong, Lost Souls, Mid-Atlantic Region, Old School, Praying Mantis, Pressure Packed, Rebel Yell, Vicious Valkyries, Wild Panthers, Zeus Power

GOLD FEDERATION: All Star, Battle Royal, Blood Bath, Chicago Legends, Classic Wrestling, Gold Digger, Hit Man, Majestic Property, Masked Wrestling, New Millennium, Ninja Dojo, Olympic Gold, Texas Death

DIAMOND FEDERATION: American Bodyslam, Anarchist Lust, Bounty Hunter, Dark Days, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Internal Rage, Last Breath, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling

BRONZE FEDERATION: Alter Ego, Barbaric Warrior, Coffin Filler, Grim Reaper, Hot Streak, Iron Glove, Jagged Edge, Knight Time, Main Event, Men of Steel, New York, Soul Asylum, Torture Chamber, War Cry

JADE FEDERATION: Atomic Age, Iron Cross, Jade Dragon, Just Incredible, Just Rasslin', Killer Soldiers, Lone Wolf, Lovely Ladies, Psychotic Killer, Super Hero, Thor's Hammer, Total Package, Unknown Wrestler, World Wrestling