Vol. 12, No. 2 -- February 2007
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2007 STATE WRESTLING CHAMPIONS
Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners! These wrestlers earned $100,000 in imaginary money for being the last man standing in each state battle royal. Congratulations to their managers for a job well done, and a big "thank you" goes out to everyone who participated!
JOHNNY B SAYS
This coming cycle, you may transfer your wrestlers to any Asiatic or Hardcore league for free, up to 3 wrestlers per league! You must send in and pay for matches with the transfer so he is immediately active; if you don't know who is in the league you can have us choose opponents for you, or you can list the regional titles you want your wrestler(s) to compete for.
The available Asiatic leagues are the CSL (in the Iron Federation; you can only manage up to 4 wrestlers in this league, and match results are only available on our website), PML (Steel), NDL (Gold), and JDL (Jade).
The Hardcore leagues you may transfer into are the GRL (Bronze), PKL (Jade), and XWL (Diamond). The HWL in the Iron Federation does not allow transfers. Remember that you can only manage up to 6 wrestlers in these leagues, as opposed to 10 in a regular league.
On a related note, we have converted the Rebel Yell League in the Steel Federation to a Hardcore league. Managers are limited to a maximum of 5 wrestlers instead of 6 (as requested by the RYL Commissioner), and transfers into the league are not permitted (but you may create a brand new wrestler).
HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES
This cycle, two distinguished members of the Circle of Tyrants end their careers with a well-deserved place in the IWA Hall of Fame. After nearly a decade in the sport, during which he won a Jade Federation championship along with countless other JIL and IWA Report honors, COT: Wisp has retired. He is best remembered for his long-standing feud with IWA legend ROW: Special Agent B.M.F. In a rivalry spanning much of the JIL's 134-cycle existence, the two beat a mutual respect into one another, yet each maintained a desire to always be the better of two great athletes. After each won a best of seven series challenge against the other, the feud culminated in a decisive main event "Career vs. Career" match last cycle at JIL's "Vengeance Rising" Pay-Per-View, in which Wisp lost by the narrowest of margins. He retires with a record of 1,057-355-107 *25 ($2,577,000).
Also retiring is fellow JIL alum COT: "Diamond" Dezi Damage, younger brother of IWA Hall of Famer Reb McKenzie. Though he never achieved the same level of major success as his brother, Damage was regarded by many as a superstar in the making. He had a strong following among fans, both as an athlete and an entertainer. Tragically, he was forced to retire, due to nagging injuries sustained in a brutal feud with WWW's infamous "Enforcers" as the two stables battled for a claim to the World Tag-team titles. Though retired from active competition, Damage plans to continue working in the wrestling business, as well as pursuing a career in music. He enters the Hall of Fame with an impressive record of 1,016-251-71 *20 ($2,218,900). Both wrestlers are managed by Jen "Warlock" Bialecki of Wisconsin, who will receive plaques (suitable for displaying) to commemorate her wrestlers' achievements.
WWW, in association with managers Austin and Nate Pierce of Wisconsin, proudly announce the retirement of Brian Bulldozer. Bulldozer's retirement comes after just completing his tenth full year in the IWA. His career began in January of 1997 in the YPL, along with his tag partner and friend Bobby Brainbuster. In his first active cycle, Bulldozer captured the YPL's Southern title and he never looked back.
Brian moved from the YPL to the QPL, UFL and FAL, where he came into his own, winning league titles in all 3 leagues. Brian considers the QPL to be one of his favorites, as it was the league where he defeated current stablemate Mike "White Lightning" Moore to win the Master of 1,000 Holds belt -- a title he never lost in the ring. Brian's time in the QPL was also infamous for an unfortunate incident involving some flying pigs, which resulted in all of his stablemates at the time leaving the QPL in protest of the Commissioner.
Bulldozer would go on to win the United States Six-man championship with Bobby Brainbuster and Dutch Doomsday in the UFL. After heading to the WTL, Bulldozer and Brainbuster would join forces with Luke Laser to form the Enforcers, a dominant and feared faction that would then move on to the JIL. It was in the JIL that Bulldozer would achieve his greatest career achievement, winning the Jade Federation title.
It was also in the JIL where Bulldozer's career has come to an end. Following a hard fought and brutal feud with Mark Duchaine, resulting in a series of the most extreme matches ever witnessed, Bulldozer found himself seriously injured and in need of time away from wrestling. Although he has mixed feelings about his career coming to an end, Bulldozer says he has no regrets.
Brian retires as an undefeated member of the JIL World Tag-team Champions. His career record stands at 1,197-329-82, with $3,095,100 in the bank, and 36 stars.
Bulldozer intends to spend his retirement with his family, including his 3-year old son, Brian Jr., and his currently pregnant wife, Becky.
The founding father of IVHM, Dr. of Desire Daven Lee is calling it quits after a more than three-year return to the ring. His final stats are 1,172-185-49, with $2,058,500 in earnings and 12 stars. Lee's career has spanned over 10 years in the IWA, with a total of 16 league title wins including a three-month reign as the TDL champion. Lee was edged out of the World title late in 2005. With his devastating finisher "The One Night Stand," Lee has left a Who's Who list of wrestlers crippled. His final words: "Ladies, you'll never be first, but if you're lucky, you might be NEXT!" (Congratulations to his manager, Daven Hamilton of Kentucky.)
Our final retiree this cycle is TBZ/IIEII: The Silver Jackal, who belongs to Brick D. Hinkley of Canada! He ends his tour of duty with a record of 1,000-589-72, $2,414,000 in imaginary money, and 15 stars. These numbers are the result of successfully competing in the ECL from cycle 21 to 151, during which he held not only the league's TV title, but also a regional belt on 25 occasions! One of his favorite moments was winning the bronze medal for the Long Jump event in the 2000 IWA Olympics. Brick will soon receive an engraved plaque for being such a great manager!
Tony Robinson of Florida won both the Bronze and Jade Federation titles last cycle with a pair of perfect 501's! FOE: Tony Ceno (JIL) turned out to have slightly better point flow than FOE: Walker "The Evil" Clown (NYL), so he won the imaginary $300,000. Tony wins a very real 100 free matches or a wrestling belt and 50 free matches!
XCW: "The Hardcore Extremist" Mike Steel (MEL) won this $60,000 purse, plus an engraved plaque or 25 free matches, by edging out LAWLESS: Windy City Warrior (CFL) and UZI: Orion Supreme (GRL). All three had 500 points. MEL Commissioner Johnny Stryker, manager of the new United States Champion, had this to say: "I, Johnny Stryker, would like to take this moment to thank MRL managers Mr. Gemil (known as Ray Hennan) and Mr. Jobber (manager of Ham 'n' Tater), for your advice is the reason I have become the new IWA United States Champion. So thank you for your helpful advice, and thank you, Mr. Drake, for allowing me to be in your group, L.A.W."
KING OF THE RING
FOE: CM Punk (WWL) won this engraved plaque or 25 free matches for Tony Robinson of Florida! Using only the values of hold positions 1, 2, 4, 8, 9, 12, 14, and 15 in each battle royal winner's strategy gave him an unbeatable total of 274 (his full strategy total was 500 points). We used hold positions 1, 3, 5, 6, 7, 10, 11, and 13 to determine the league battle royal winners.
Jonathan Akers of Texas conquered our Asiatic leagues with COT: "El Jefe" Oscar Morales (CSL)! His 499-pointer earned him $25,000 and 10 free matches.
"Pure Evil" Craig Peton of New Jersey watched his ring assassin dish out some carnage and take home $25,000 in imaginary funds plus 10 free matches! UKA: The Death Dealer (GRL) used both his 500-point strategy and his trusty barbed-wire bat, which he is never without.
Asiatic Champion COT: "El Jefe" Oscar Morales (CSL) added the Iron Federation title to Jonathan Akers of Texas's winnings. He had 499 points. The Smooth One Jeff Manning of Ohio won the Steel Federation belt with UZI: Librarian Willie B. Quiet (KKL), who also had a 499 total. The 25 free matches in the Gold Federation went to TNT: King of Diamonds (MWL), managed to a 500-pointer by Blue Tiger of Texas. In the Diamond Federation, ACE: Awesome Force (NAL) used his 500 to win big for Howie Sandberg of New York. FOE: Walker "The Evil" Clown (NYL) gained the Bronze Federation strap for Tony Robinson of Florida. He had a perfect 501 total, but so did Jade Federation champion FOE: Tony Ceno (JIL)! Tony let his men duke it out for the World prize, and Tony Ceno ended up with the belt.
NATIONAL CHAMPION, IWA-WIDE REGIONALS
After taking over the Eastern region with his 500-pointer, FOE: Jadakiss (CFL) turned back all contenders to win the National title for Nick Jones of Ohio! Nick can now decide between an engraved plaque and 25 free matches. The other titles went to...
UZI: Anita "Lotta" Payne (GAL) won the Ladies' World title, gaining an engraved plaque or 15 free matches for the Smooth One Jeff Manning of Ohio! Jeff also picked up the Ladies' National Championship, using UZI: Aunt Flo (GAL). The Queen of the Ring was PLAGUE: Bloody Assault Jessica Leigh Richards (LLL). "The Plague" from Parts Unknown also managed PLAGUE: Gothic Angels #2 and #3 (LLL) to the Ladies' tag belts with their 516 -- a nice comeback after losing the U.S. tag titles by point flow the previous cycle! Taking the Ladies' U.S. title and its $20,000 purse was JENN-W-O: Sharon Scott (LLL)! Dan Thomas of Canada managed her to victory over nWo: Evil Wonder Woman (FFL) and ACE: "Super Mom" Maggie Seaver (GAL). Tony Robinson of Florida won the Ladies' U.S. Tag-team straps with PRO: The Brunette Bombshell Kimberly and the Blonde Bombshell Becky (GAL), then picked up the World Six-woman honors with FOE: Bad Girl Jessica Simpson, Bad Girl Britney Sky, and Sexy Sunny Beach (LLL)! Jason P. Miller of Kansas kept the U.S. Six-woman straps in his possession, this time using UZI: Your Grandma, Your Sister, and Your Mom (LLL).
WORLD TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS
IWA veteran Kevin DiFranco of New York won an engraved plaque or 15 free matches by winning these belts with ACE: Gorku the Giant Armadillo and the Wiley Crustacean (WAL)! The top six teams listed had 516 points, and the Riot Brothers from the ASL stayed on list from last time!
TOP 10 TAG-TEAMS
U.S. TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS
Brandon Maldonado of Texas coached his team of the Lollipop Kid and Reggie "The UPS Guy" Brown (JEL) to these titles, earning them each $20,000! Nice work, Brandon.
WORLD SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS
Four teams tied for these titles! Jason P. Miller of Kansas manages UZI: Plague, Pillage, and Plunder (TGL), while Sly Smith of West Virginia owns ACE: The Japanese Bomb Squad and Bad News Blake (IDL). FOE: Eastwood, "Ballistic" Nick Mystic, and G-Malone (DZL) answer to Nick Jones of Ohio, and ACE: Pat Patterson's Ring Boy, Persuasive Pat Patterson, and Tortured Soul (DIL) are managed by Howie Sandberg of New York. The top seven teams in the standings had 521 points!
TOP 10 SIX-MAN TEAMS
U.S. SIX-MAN CHAMPIONS
Jason P. Miller of Kansas held onto these belts, this time using UZI: "Keepin' it Real" Evil Heel, Huge Friggin' Jerk, and Mean Spirited Parasite (SPL). They had a perfect 521-point total!
TOP 10 LEAGUES
Ranked below by the number of matches are the most active leagues for the January cycle. The All Star League claimed the top spot for a fifth consecutive cycle! Out of all ten, the league with the highest average strategy total among its active wrestlers was the Iron Glove League, so IGL managers can take two matches for $1 next time. The Lovely Ladies League missed the special price by less than two-tenths of a point!
TOP 20 MONEY HOLDERS
LIST OF LEAGUES
IRON FEDERATION: Battling Titans, Center Stage, Danger Zone, Hardcore Wrestling, Heart Throb, Imminent Destruction, Iron Man, Murder Incorporated, Quick Pin, Southern Pride, Under Fire, Unknown Wrestler
STEEL FEDERATION: Absolute Pain, Caribbean Coast, Devil Inside, Executioner's Axe, Hired Assassin, Intense Impact, King Kong, Mid-Atlantic Region, Pittsburgh Power, Praying Mantis, Rebel Yell, True Grit, Vicious Valkyries
GOLD FEDERATION: All Star, Battle Royal, Blood Bath, Chicago Legends, Classic Wrestling, Gold Digger, Good Times, Hit Man, Masked Wrestling, New Millennium, Ninja Dojo, Olympic Gold, Texas Death
DIAMOND FEDERATION: Arm Lock, Axe Blade, Dark Days, Evil Clown, Femme Fatale, Fractured Jaw, Internal Rage, Last Breath, Lights Out, Night Falcon, Noble Savage, Non-stop Action, Rajun Cajun, Xtreme Wrestling
BRONZE FEDERATION: Alter Ego, Barbaric Warrior, Coffin Filler, Gorgeous Amazon, Grim Reaper, Iron Glove, Jagged Edge, Knight Time, Main Event, New York, Wild America
JADE FEDERATION: Atomic Age, Jade Dragon, Just Incredible, Just Rasslin', Killer Shark, Kings Court, Lovely Ladies, Psychotic Killer, Super Hero, Thor's Hammer, Total Package, World Wrestling
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