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LIGHTS OUT LEAGUE

BULLETIN #231 -- SUMMER 2017

Card 1 -- Held in New Dehli (Attendance: 35,374)

KDSN: World's Most Hated Woman Kim Kardashian decked Mr. Dick Cheney at 2:54 (Stop Being So Jealous!) by 122.
Rev. Camden over the Halloween Kid at 13:04 (count out) (Indian strap).
KDSN: World's Most Hated Woman Kim Kardashian pinned Mr. Maury Povich at 5:02 (airplane spin) by 91.
KDSN: Kim's Former Boyfriend TJ Jackson pinned KDSN: Kim's BFF Jonathan Cheban at 23:55 (Kim's First Love) by 10 (Guest referee: the Masked Hairy Wrestler).
Paul Boesch decked Mr. Bernie Sanders at 16:21 (Spinning Toehold) by 11 (cage).
Dr. James Mayer decked Dr. Baker at 6:23 (scissors grip) by 66.
MAIN EVENT: KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian pinned EDGE/H25: Jessie Spano's Dad at 17:35 (Hold the Applause) by 13.

Card 2 -- Held in Calais (Attendance: 48,879)

Fr. Carl Roberts won over Fr. James LaCrosse at 18:23 (5th Grade Power Slam) by 6.
KDSN: World's Most Hated Woman Kim Kardashian overpowered Sheriff Brackett at 3:31 (Stop Being So Jealous!) by 98.
KDSN: World's Most Hated Woman Kim Kardashian bested "Slammin" Sam the Wrestling Man at 3:30 (pole ram) by 73.
"Judo" Gene LeBell over Wrestling Baby #3 at 15:08 (disqualification -- used rope to choke) (tv time limit).
KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian beat KDSN: Kim's 2nd Biggest Fan at 28:25 (Hold the Applause) by 5.
KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian bested KDSN: Kim's 3rd Biggest Fan at 29:25 (Hold the Applause) by 5.
MAIN EVENT: KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian outmuscled EDGE/H25: Beretta Mason, PI at 23:46 (Hold the Applause) by 8.

Card 3 -- Held in Stockholm (Attendance: 20,578)

Mr. Jimmy Carter overpowered Batman at 27:20 (Carter Claw) by 1.
KDSN: Kim's Future Boyfriend Matt Y. bested EDGE/H25: Rory Mcilroy Jones Jr. at 29:08 (It's Only a Matter of Time) by 2.
KDSN: World's Most Hated Woman Kim Kardashian beat "Bruiser" Bela Karoyli at 2:04 (Texas cloverleaf) by 135.
KDSN: Fashion Diva Khloe Kardashian won over EDGE/H25: Brad Pittfighter at 22:52 (Those Clothes Aren't Right) by 6 *** won the Southern title.
Fr. Christmas over "Gorgeous" George Snider at 8:46 (count out).
KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian bested KDSN: Fashion Diva Khloe Kardashian at 27:53 (Hold the Applause) by 2.
MAIN EVENT: KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian overpowered KDSN: Fashion Diva Kourtney Kardashian at 48:19 (Hold the Applause) by 2.

Card 4 -- Held in Fargo (Attendance: 40,196)

EDGE/H25: Beretta Mason, PI destroyed KDSN: Kim's Biggest Fan at 28:20 (Cardiac Arrest) by 5.
KDSN: Kim's Future Boyfriend Matt Y. beat EDGE/H25: The Legend that is Rich Gannon at 29:39 (It's Only a Matter of Time) by 3 *** won the Western title.
KDSN: World's Most Hated Woman Kim Kardashian over the Professor at 9:18 (count out).
ARMY/IMT: "Headhunter" Geronimo Toombs pinned "Mr. Wrestling" Bud Hlavin at 4:41 (atomic drop) by 95 (casket).
The Professor over ARMY/IMT: Ghetto White Boy at 8:38 (disqualification -- manager in ring).
KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian bested KDSN: Kim's BFF Jonathan Cheban at 16:59 (Hold the Applause) by 8.
MAIN EVENT: KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian overpowered EDGE/H25: Rory Mcilroy Jones Jr. at 27:24 (Hold the Applause) by 9.

Card 5 -- Held in Calcutta (Attendance: 15,203)

Kung Jung Il over "Gotham City Grappler" Commish Gordon at 11:11 (disqualification -- refused to break choke).
KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian destroyed KDSN: Kim's Future Boyfriend Matt Y. at 24:27 (Hold the Applause) by 7.
KDSN: World's Most Hated Woman Kim Kardashian won over Bob Eubanks at 4:15 (Texas cloverleaf) by 119.
KDSN: Kim's 2nd Biggest Fan defeated EDGE/H25: Rory Mcilroy Jones Jr. at 28:14 (Kim Can't Be Stopped!) by 4 *** won the Dixie title.
Mr. Lee Iacocca over Ted Koppel at 8:43 (count out) (Hell in a Cell).
Motorcycle Gang Member #2* and "Battlin'" Buddy Cohn annihilated Capt. Merrill Stubing* and the Masked Hairy Wrestler at 24:29 (Flying Finger Breaker) by 6.
MAIN EVENT: KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian won over KDSN: Motivational Speaker Bruce Jenner at 40:58 (Hold the Applause) by 6.

Card 6 -- Held in Baltimore (Attendance: 11,204)

Motorcycle Gang Member #2 won over Mr. Donald Rumsfeld at 14:21 (Toe and Ankle Snapper) by 17.
KDSN: Fashion Diva Kourtney Kardashian beat KDSN: World's Most Hated Woman Kim Kardashian at 24:25 (Those Clothes Aren't Right) by 7 (non-title,).
KDSN: World's Most Hated Woman Kim Kardashian over Tom Brokaw at 15:25 (disqualification -- used rope to choke).
Timothy J. McGinty drew Chinese Crime Boss (time limit).
Maury Povich defeated Dr. Yan Pol at 4:19 (Povich Powerlock) by 43.
EDGE/H25: Cage Match God and KDSN: Popular Khloe Kardashian over Dan the Candy Man and the Professor at 12:08 (disqualification -- hit ref).
MAIN EVENT: KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian won over KDSN: Fashion Diva Kim Kardashian at 47:25 (Hold the Applause) by 8.

Card 7 -- Held in Cancun (Attendance: 22,658)

KDSN: Fashion Diva Kourtney Kardashian decked KDSN: Popular Khloe Kardashian at 28:37 (Those Clothes Aren't Right) by 4.
KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian destroyed KDSN: Fashion Diva Kourtney Kardashian at 29:06 (Hold the Applause) by 2 (non-title,).
KDSN: World's Most Hated Woman Kim Kardashian pinned "Mat Wrestler" Lou Thesz at 4:31 (pole ram) by 87.
Cleveland Police Chief #1 destroyed Summertime Kid at 4:50 (bulldog) by 48 (submission).
"The Krippler" Charles Shulz beat Dr. Jack Bloomfield at 12:40 (Bone Crushing Boston Crab) by 11 (grudge).
"Mat Wrestler" Lou Thesz and Ted Koppel over Dr. Loomis and the Crazed Wrestling Farmer at 9:00 (count out).
MAIN EVENT: KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian bested EDGE/H25: Chandler "Hotline" Bing at 19:25 (Hold the Applause) by 13.

Card 8 -- Held in Milwaukee (Attendance: 9,542)

KDSN: Popular Khloe Kardashian overpowered EDGE/H25: Brad Pittfighter at 29:29 (Hold the Applause) by 2.
KDSN: Kim's Former Boyfriend TJ Jackson annihilated KDSN: Motivational Speaker Bruce Jenner at 15:44 (Kim's First Love) by 8 (non-title,).
KDSN: World's Most Hated Woman Kim Kardashian bested the Crazed Wrestling Farmer at 4:16 (pole ram) by 91.
Dr. Donald Junglas over Charles Bronson at 15:54 (count out) (ambulance).
"Cougar" Karl White, Sr. over the Elderly Bodybuilder #2 at 9:56 (disqualification -- used steel chair) (I quit).
KDSN: Popular Khloe Kardashian* and KDSN: Popular Kourtney Kardashian outmuscled KDSN: Kim's Biggest Fan and KDSN: Kim's 2nd Biggest Fan* at 27:19 (Hold the Applause) by 4 (Tag-team title) *** won the Tag-team titles.
MAIN EVENT: KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian won over KDSN: World's Most Hated Woman Kim Kardashian at 27:20 (Hold the Applause) by 9.

Card 9 -- Held in San Francisco (Attendance: 24,248)

KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian outmuscled KDSN: Popular Khloe Kardashian at 16:44 (Hold the Applause) by 6.
KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian won over KDSN: Motivational Speaker Bruce Jenner at 22:56 (Hold the Applause) by 6 (non-title,).
KDSN: World's Most Hated Woman Kim Kardashian defeated Maury Povich at 2:38 (Stop Being So Jealous!) by 101.
ARMY/IMT: "Bald-Headed Knockout" Bella Zoebelle defeated Dr. Blood at 0:20 (Knockout Punch) by 127.
"Big" Ben Cartwright over "Sockeye" Jack McDonald at 11:19 (disqualification -- pushed ref) (anything goes).
KDSN: Kim's Biggest Fan and KDSN: Kim's 2nd Biggest Fan* won over Bob Eubanks and Tom Brokaw* at 9:52 (arm lock) by 49.
MAIN EVENT: KDSN: Kim's Former Boyfriend TJ Jackson outmuscled KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian at 28:38 (Kim's First Love) by 2.

Card 10 -- Held in Warsaw (Attendance: 43,131)

KDSN: Motivational Speaker Bruce Jenner annihilated KDSN: Popular Kourtney Kardashian at 27:20 (The Motivator) by 3.
KDSN: World's Most Hated Woman Kim Kardashian outmuscled Capt. Merrill Stubing at 5:00 (body slam) by 95.
KDSN: World's Most Hated Woman Kim Kardashian annihilated Ted Koppel at 4:56 (airplane spin) by 105.
Big Bob Pataki beat John Walsh Sr. at 13:32 (Pataki Powerbomb) by 14.
Dr. Marcus Welby, M.D. defeated the Janitor at 5:49 (Flying Toehold) by 30.
KDSN: Kim's Biggest Fan and KDSN: Kim's 2nd Biggest Fan* outmuscled the Elderly Bodybuilder #2* and the Elderly Bodybuilder #1 at 3:30 (Kim Can't Be Stopped!) by 93 *** won the TV Tag-team titles.
MAIN EVENT: KDSN: Kim's Former Boyfriend TJ Jackson pinned EDGE/H25: Brad Pittfighter at 43:57 (Kim's First Love) by 10 (Guest referee: the Christmas Kid).

Card 11 -- Held in Fort Myers (Attendance: 45,797)

KDSN: Popular Kourtney Kardashian drew KDSN: World's Most Hated Woman Kim Kardashian (no contest).
KDSN: World's Most Hated Woman Kim Kardashian destroyed "Mangler" Mike Wallace at 2:31 (pole ram) by 88.
KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian bested KDSN: World's Most Hated Woman Kim Kardashian at 21:18 (Hold the Applause) by 9 (non-title,).
"Battlin'" Buddy Cohn over "Mat Wrestler" Mark Hlavin at 11:57 (disqualification -- used steel chair) (TLC).
American Crime Boss over Dr. Marcus Welby, M.D. at 12:58 (disqualification -- tied opponent up) (hardcore).
"Judo" Gene LeBell, Dr. Gene Hall, and Dr. Blood over Mr. Dick Cheney, Sheriff Andy Taylor, and Martial Arts Master #1 at 9:59 (disqualification -- tied opponent up).
MAIN EVENT: KDSN: Kim's Former Boyfriend TJ Jackson decked EDGE/H25: The Legend that is Rich Gannon at 25:37 (Kim's First Love) by 12.

Card 12 -- Held in Boston (Attendance: 24,265)

KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian defeated KDSN: Popular Kourtney Kardashian at 23:32 (Hold the Applause) by 9.
KDSN: World's Most Hated Woman Kim Kardashian outmuscled Sen. Tom Harkin at 2:03 (Stop Being So Jealous!) by 147.
KDSN: Kim's 3rd Biggest Fan annihilated KDSN: Fashion Diva Kim Kardashian at 29:43 (Kim Can't Be Stopped!) by 3 *** won the Mountain title.
"Bruiser" Bela Karoyli over "King of Wrestling" Verne Gagne at 13:01 (disqualification -- hidden spike).
Venom Hunter #1 annihilated Chief Big Heart at 8:53 (Giant Hornet Headlock) by 48.
KDSN: Popular Khloe Kardashian, KDSN: Popular Kourtney Kardashian, and KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian over South Korean Doctor Hyun Hai Sun, Sheriff Brackett, and "Mat Wrestler" Mark Hlavin at 12:36 (disqualification -- hit ref).
MAIN EVENT: KDSN: Kim's Former Boyfriend TJ Jackson beat KDSN: Kim's Future Boyfriend Matt Y. at 16:19 (Kim's First Love) by 9.

Card 13 -- Held in New York City (Attendance: 14,489)

Leslie Nielsen annihilated Sheriff Brackett at 11:35 (Sleeper) by 20 (four corners).
KDSN: World's Most Hated Woman Kim Kardashian beat Cowboy Karl at 3:58 (arm lock) by 100.
KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian annihilated KDSN: Fashion Diva Kim Kardashian at 18:34 (Hold the Applause) by 8 (non-title,).
EDGE/H25: The Legend that is Rich Gannon decked KDSN: Kim's Biggest Fan at 27:23 (Playoffs?!) by 3.
Stan Lee destroyed Wrestling Baby #1 at 16:20 (Spiderman DDT) by 10 (play pen) (Guest referee: Rev. Camden).
KDSN: Popular Khloe Kardashian, KDSN: Popular Kourtney Kardashian, and KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian* decked Dr. Loomis, "Bruiser" Bela Karoyli, and Paul Boesch* at 4:05 (stunner) by 90.
MAIN EVENT: KDSN: Kim's Former Boyfriend TJ Jackson defeated KDSN: Kim's BFF Jonathan Cheban at 35:39 (Kim's First Love) by 10 (Guest referee: "Bruiser" Bela Karoyli).

Card 14 -- Held in Dallas (Attendance: 43,248)

KDSN: World's Most Hated Woman Kim Kardashian annihilated Leslie Nielsen at 2:36 (Stop Being So Jealous!) by 78.
KDSN: World's Most Hated Woman Kim Kardashian outmuscled Pale Rider #2 at 1:43 (Boston crab) by 150.
KDSN: Kim's Former Boyfriend TJ Jackson destroyed KDSN: Kim's 2nd Biggest Fan at 22:51 (Kim's First Love) by 7.
KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian won over KDSN: Kim's Biggest Fan at 15:28 (Hold the Applause) by 13.
KDSN: Kim's 3rd Biggest Fan outmuscled EDGE/H25: Chandler "Hotline" Bing at 21:50 (Kim Can't Be Stopped!) by 8 (non-title,).
KDSN: Popular Khloe Kardashian, KDSN: Popular Kourtney Kardashian*, and KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian decked KDSN: Kim's Biggest Fan*, KDSN: Kim's 2nd Biggest Fan, and KDSN: Kim's 3rd Biggest Fan at 27:06 (Hold the Applause) by 4 (Six-man title).
MAIN EVENT: KDSN: Kim's Former Boyfriend TJ Jackson pinned KDSN: Fashion Diva Khloe Kardashian at 41:58 (Kim's First Love) by 4.

Card 15 -- Held in Spokane (Attendance: 47,554)

KDSN: World's Most Hated Woman Kim Kardashian pinned Dan the Candy Man at 2:42 (Boston crab) by 85.
KDSN: World's Most Hated Woman Kim Kardashian outmuscled Dr. Loomis at 1:50 (Boston crab) by 176.
KDSN: Kim's Former Boyfriend TJ Jackson beat KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian at 28:46 (Kim's First Love) by 2 (non-title,).
KDSN: Popular Kimberly Kardashian outmuscled Paul Boesch at 1:25 (Texas cloverleaf) by 159 (non-title).
KDSN: Kim's BFF Jonathan Cheban bested EDGE/H25: Chandler "Hotline" Bing at 28:38 (Leave Kim Alone!) by 5 *** won the Northern title.
KDSN: Kim's Biggest Fan, KDSN: Kim's 2nd Biggest Fan, and KDSN: Kim's 3rd Biggest Fan over Leslie Nielsen, "Mr. Wrestling" Bud Hlavin, and "Slammin" Sam the Wrestling Man at 12:04 (count out).
MAIN EVENT: KDSN: Kim's Former Boyfriend TJ Jackson annihilated KDSN: Kim's 3rd Biggest Fan at 49:16 (Kim's First Love) by 7.

Battle Royal -- Held in La Paz (Attendance: 24,211)

Fr. Frank Miller got $1,000 when "Mat Wrestler" Mark Hlavin threw him out.
Mr. Stu Hart was awarded $1,100 when he got thrown outside the ring by Big Bob Pataki.
Ted Koppel won $1,200 after Fr. Christmas catapulted him out.
Dr. Big Time Wrestling picked up a quick $1,300 after "Mr. Wrestling" Bud Hlavin catapulted him into the audience.
"Mat Wrestler" Mark Hlavin picked up a quick $1,400 when Dr. Donald Junglas threw him onto the announcer's table.
Big Bob Pataki nabbed a cool $1,500 after Fr. Christmas threw him out.
"Beautiful" Bob Barker nabbed a cool $1,600 when he was thrown out by "Mr. Wrestling" Bud Hlavin.
George Herbert Walker Bush, Sr. received $1,700 after 95 Yr. Old Bone Crunching Chiropractor threw him into some chairs at ringside.
Fr. Christmas snatched $1,800 when the Masked Hairy Wrestler and "Mr. Wrestling" Bud Hlavin threw him into his manager at ringside.
"Mr. Wrestling" Bud Hlavin received $1,900 when Dr. Donald Junglas flipped him out.
Bruno the Bruiser took $2,000 when Wrestling Baby #3 threw him out.
Dr. Donald Junglas won $2,100 when he was thrown onto the concrete floor by the Masked Hairy Wrestler.
"The Wrestler" Pope Francis got $2,200 after 95 Yr. Old Bone Crunching Chiropractor threw him out.
95 Yr. Old Bone Crunching Chiropractor got $2,300 when the Masked Hairy Wrestler and KDSN: Kim's 2nd Biggest Fan flipped him out.
The Masked Hairy Wrestler earned $2,400 when KDSN: Kim's 2nd Biggest Fan catapulted him onto the apron.
Wrestling Baby #3 earned an imaginary $2,500 after he got flung into the audience by KDSN: Kim's 2nd Biggest Fan.
KDSN: Kim's 2nd Biggest Fan nabbed $2,600 after getting thrown outside the ring by KDSN: Kim's Biggest Fan.
KDSN: Kim's Biggest Fan won the battle royal and its $30,000 purse.

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